Thursday, April 7, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

An Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy PPSS University Special

The Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy question box has been filled to the brim with vibrator questions, so here is your chance to get all your answers in one place! The Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy Sex Lab Assistants have been *very* busy this week... never fear. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Special thanks to my fellow Pervs for lending their expertise to this most titillating of subjects! <3

1. Always clean your vibrators. Prior to using them for the first time, and every time after you use them, wash the toy with gentle soap and water. If the directions specify that a particular type of toy wash should be used, follow those instructions. Also be sure that you're careful around the batteries or adapter plug as well. Again, follow the manufacturer's recommendations.

2. Do not share your vibrators with anyone else. This is the best way to pass along nasty critters from person to person.

3. I've said it before, and I will say it again--NO ASS TO VAG. I don't care if you clean the vibrator afterwards, you still shouldn't go ass to vag. If you want both anal and vaginal stimulation via vibrator, buy a separate one for each orifice in order to avoid infection.

4. If a vibrator no longer works, or isn't working properly, don't use it. The risk of injuring yourself isn't worth it. 


I'm 23 years old and still a virgin. I want something more than orgasms solely from my fingers. Is it a good idea to own a vibrator while still being a virgin? If so, what are my options?

First, I refer you back to last week's question about orgasmic response and vibrators. Don't use them 20 times a day, and it should be fine. When looking for a vibrator, here are some things to keep in mind:

I STRONGLY recommend that virgins stick to exterior vibrators like the Bullet, or a Je Joue SaSi that provides not just vibration but simulates finger rubbing (this is also win for people with tendinitis or are partially disabled).

Another great option for discreet exterior stimulation vibrating boy shorts and vibrating panty. It will feel so naughty, and no one will be any the wiser (although you may get a question or two about that wicked grin plastered on your face; just saying).

For vibrator virgins, Babeland has a special section just for you: First Timers. You'll find a large selection of all kind of fun toys with prices ranging from $15 - $200. Added bonus? Some don't even look like sex toys!

One of our Pervs (who shall remain unnamed; remember, we're all about anonymity here at ANNK) started with this little number as her first vibrator, and swears by it: Velvet Touch Vibrator. You can use this one with confidence knowing that it's been through the tried and true test before!

Another Perv reccs the MiMi. Although it is on the expensive side, good things always are. Here's what our Perv had to say about it: "...honestly I feel set for life lol. There are other vibes in my drawer, but this will definitely be the go-to." It's relatively quiet, it has several levels of vibration, can be submerged in water, and is rechargeable. And if that isn't enough for you? Wait, wait, there's MORE!! It comes packaged in a cute little box with a ribbon closure. We're talking vibrator perfection, girls.

Another very discreet choice is Rub My Duckie, which is waterproof.

The Pirates Pendant can also be worn as a necklace!

For the MsKathys of the world, the Hello Kitty vibrator might be just what you're looking for.

Lastly, there are a couple of tried-and-true favorites out there that I would be remiss not to mention. We've all heard about the
Rabbit, which is both a clitoral and G-spot stimulator (YOWZA). There are the more cheap and convenient (>Lady Fingers/slim line vibrators, which tend to run less than $20 a pop and are great for college students, because they are so easy to hide.

Hi Naughty Nurse Kimpy, first and foremost I find your weekly blogs so informative and helpful so thanks :)

Anyway, my question: I'm a virgin in my early twenties and, whilst I feel inexperiened compared to friends, I'm quite happy to wait and not rush into it until I feel ready and confident with the right guy. My question is what advice can you give me so that when I do have sex for the first time it causes the least amount of discomfort possible. I want to look forward to my first time, not be afraid of it! I have an inkling there's going to be quite a bit of discomfort as even using tampons can be quite uncomfortable sometimes. I masturbate a fair amount, but only clitoral stimulation. Should I slowly start introducing vaginal stimulation? I'm kind of confused as I've read different contradicting things online.

Thank you for your help :)

I want to refer you to look at the previous question to answer most of your question.

In terms of having sex for the first time and making it less painful? Take an anti-inflammatory, like ibuprofen, and use a lot of lube. Take things slowly. Make sure you take time for plenty of foreplay, so that your kitty is physically ready to have sex. Is it going to be uncomfortable? Probably. Is that avoidable? No. However, I will tell you that if you feel afraid and anxious, it will make the experience more painful than if you are relaxed. In fact, I would encourage you to have a glass of wine (assuming you are of age!), or give each other a massage, to help you achieve a more relaxed state. Remember to breathe, too. It will help to keep you relaxed during the process. If you make it up to be a big deal in your head, it will be. Remind yourself that women have been losing their virginity since the beginning of time, and we all manage to make it through. You'll be fine, I promise.

What, in your opinion, constitutes losing ones virginity? I have thought of buying a vibrator but don't want to lose said virginity to a piece of plastic. Thoughts?

Technically, when your hymen is broken, you are no longer a virgin. However, if you ask me? You don't really lose your virginity until you have sex. As one of the Ask Naught Nurse Kimpy Sex Lab Assistants puts it, "Virginity isn't something you lose. It is more like a state of mind, and a new level of intimacy." Thus, if you want to use a vibrator, use it. I honestly don't think that breaking your hymen with a plastic toy is messing with any rules. Please, ease your conscience and have at it with your new toy. Trust me, penetration via vibrator is not the same thing as penetration via peen. Or, for those ladies out there who prefer vags, penetration via hands, etc.

Looking at it from a different perspective, some women break their hymen when they use tampons, ride a bicycle, or ride a horse. Now, would we truly say that they've already lost their virginity? Hymens, yes. Virginity, no. It's your call, of course, but don't fill yourself full of guilt over using a toy.

A guy friend and I were talking about dildos and vibrators. He told me that its not good to use a dildo or vibrator, that a penis is better. I want a dildo or vibrator and have been looking at them. I'm a virgin and have been sheltered my whole life. I kinda want to rebel in a sexual way. No I dont mean change my orientation, but I had no sex before marriage drilled in my head. I just want out of that. What is a good dildo or vibrator for a beginner? Thanks!

All right, I need to start by saying that it is no surprise that a guy is telling you a penis is better than a dildo or a vibrator. The owner of a peen is never going to tell you a machine is better than the real thing. It's possible he's just a tad... biased, methinks. So, if you want a vibrator or dildo, bb? Go for it. I'm more than ready to help you rebel.

Now, first of all, please refer back to the question on the best vibrators for a virgin. Since you're a virgin, I would avoid using a dildo; it might be painful, and it would be difficult to get off using that alone. With a vibrator, get that moving over your clit, and *bam* you will see stars, I promise. The first orgasm I ever had from a vibrator knocked my socks off. Refer to the earlier question on the best type of vibrators to use.

You know what the best part of owning a vibrator and/or dildo is? You can still wait to have sex when you're married, should you choose to do so, while enjoying some pretty wicked good orgasms.

Hello, my question is about vibrators. I have a few which I use and find that after reading a good fic, perhaps watching a bit of porn or really getting in the mood I can masturbate quite well - concentrating on my clit really gets a quick mini orgasm, but when I put a toy inside me (a rabbit) I can get aroused and it's starts off well but then I lose it. I can't seem to fully orgasm, or at least sustain anything like the mind blowing orgasms I read about in fics. I tend to get wet at the beginning but stop once I'm using the toy, it's like I'm overthinking it too much, and it becomes more difficult to use it inside me and then harder to move in and out of me, even with the aid of some lube. Ultimately, this leaves me a bit unfufilled, is there any advice for sustaining my arousal and tips on how to masturbate better? (I'm single and a virgin so this is my main option right now!) thanks very much

I agree, I think you are overthinking things. If ever there was an orgasm killer, it would be overthinkage. That is probably what's leading to losing your level of arousal. Do you stop reading or fantasizing when you start using the vibrator? That could be one of the issues you're facing. A nice side effect of continuing to read/watch/fantasize while using your vibrator is that it will keep your mind in the right zone--when it is actively engaged in thinking about sex, it isn't also actively engaged in overthinkage. *wink*

Before we delve into the matter further, however, I just wanted to address one issue you might be experiencing. Not all women can achieve an orgasm with vaginal penetration alone. When you talk about being successful with clitoral stimulation, but not vaginal, it could be that you aren't wired to come via penetration. It could also be that in order to achieve an orgasm via vaginal penetration, you also require clitoral stimulation. Vibrators like the Rabbit, that penetrate while stimulating your clitoris, might be a good choice for you. If you aren't successful in achieving an orgasm via penetration, though, don't beat yourself up. You aren't alone, and you aren't broken. Having an orgasm is what we're going for here--it doesn't really matter where the orgasm is coming from.

Recently, I invested in an amazing vibrator called the Eroscillator. Without being guilty of hyperbole, this is a vibrator made for the gods. Seriously. One of my fellow FF friends, Wisdomous, sung its praises to me, and I had to see for myself. Suffice it to say, it is amazing. Truly. Worth every penny you invest in it.

Here is what the Eroscillator gurus recommend to achieve a good orgasm via vibrator:

1. Before you begin doing anything, make sure that you have both A) time and B) privacy to experiment. Nothing kills the mood more quickly than being stressed out about being discovered.

2. Create a physical and psychological mood that makes you feel secure and aroused before you start using the vibrator. That includes, but is not limited to: Relaxing in a hot bath; turning down the lights to dim, or lighting candles to create a sexy ambiance; sip a glass of wine; listening to your favorite music in the background.

 3. As you are creating the perfect mood, remember to FANTASIZE, FANTASIZE, FANTASIZE. Getting your brain switched on is the biggest hurdle you have to face. One of my personal favorite ways to engage my fantasies? Fanfiction. You heard me correctly. There's nothing like a bit of tara sue me, for example, to get you going. Choose your favorite, and get things going. Watching porn is also a great way to get the motor revved up. Whatever it is that turns your crank, do it.

4. Before you turn on your vibrator, DO NOT THINK!! Focus on the sensations that the vibrator gives you. If your mind starts to worry or wander away from your goal, just redirect yourself to the vibrator.

5. Turn on the vibrator. Taking a cue from Monty Python and The Meaning of Life, "You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate." Take your time to rub the vibrator over all your lady bits. Pay attention to those spots where it feels absolutely divine, and those spots where it is more nice than phenomenal. Use the vibrator to tease yourself, taking little swipes at your clitoris gradually. In fact, don't dwell on the clit for more than a few seconds at a time.

6. Gradually, move the vibrator up and down your slit, focusing on the clit and the vaginal opening briefly, then move back to running it up and down. As you get more aroused, start to insert the vibrator into your vag. With each circuit, move the vibrator further up inside of yourself. When you take it out, go stimulate your clit, then move back to your vag, gradually increasing the amount of time you focus on the vag and the clit. As you intensify your attentions to those areas, you should work your way up to a frenzy, and have yourself a nice O at the same time.

7. If you aren't successful the first time, KEEP ON TRYING. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. You will teach yourself how to come with a vibrator.

The following is from a reader who made a great suggestion:

This isn't a question, so much as a suggestion. I think it would be great to hear back from those who have gained information and tricks of the trade, and insight from your posts. Did they use the tips you offered? Did they figure out what was going on? etc. I think it'd be insightful.

If you have information or tips to share (always anonymously, of course), click on the banner below and let us know!

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.



Anonymous said...

Who needs a vibrator? That last pic: 5 on 1. Be still my beating clitoris!

Anonymous said...

See how flustered I got? It's only 4, not 5 - my God, that would be enough, though!

kimpy0464 said...

Chele and Jeanne work their magic with the graphics for ANNK, it's true. Feel free to ogle the eye candy as inspiration. We don't judge. ;)

Anonymous said...

One thing you should mention is to avoid Jelly toys since they often contain harmful phthalates and are porous so really hard to disinfect. It was something I learned to late and wasted a lot of money because I went with pretty not knowing it was unsafe.

I'm surprised no one recommended the butterfly kiss for a virgin my god that thing is powerful at its highest setting and soft at its lowest perfect for a virgin. I love mine.

I was really hoping for more rabbit recommendations with out the animal stuff especially since the bunny ears do nothing for me, the butterfly wings rarely flutter and the elephant nose is usually to thin, etc, etc. Plus for a virgin a lot of them are so thick.

Love the column though and now I have some new toys to buy.