Thursday, November 10, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 11-10-2011


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational
purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice
. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Last week’s post on Venus Envy and quiet vibes generated a few items of note. Venus Envy kindly informed Naughty Nurse Kimpy that they only have store locations in Ottawa and Halifax. They present seminars only in Calgary, but have no physical location in that city. Sorry if I mislead any Albertans with that misinformation; looks like you guys will have to trek over to Ontario or Nova Scotia to get your Venus Envy on.

As is typically the case, we received a few reader comments on vibes to share with you:

Dear NNK, as you say, Lelo's products don't come cheap, but they're worth every cent. I bought another one of their vibrators, Mona, a couple of years ago, and even though it took a while to get used to it (I'd used a more hands-on approach, so to speak, for a long time), I don't regret buying it for a second. And they're not only silent, but also rather aesthetically pleasing. Personally I'd be a bit turned off by having a sparkly, pink dolphin blaring away like a 747 between my legs (and yes, I've seen one. Not to mention a dildo that, when placed on the floor, almost reached my knee and had a girth very nearly the size of my thigh. If I ever see something like that coming towards me, real or plastic, I'll run screaming in the other direction, that's for sure).

NNK, I would also recommend your reader who needs a vibrator with ninja skills to check out Edenfantasys. The website is extremely user friendly, the variety is staggering and every product has reviews and ratings on how safe the product is for the body, how powerful the vibrations are, and how quiet (or loud) the product is. Can't beat it for customer satisfaction!

One of Naughty Nurse Kimpy’s Sex Lab Assistants found a completely fun and funny blog post about How to Give a Handjob, and she simply had to include the link in here. Read, laugh, and perfect your sex skillz all in one feld swoop. Doesn’t get any better than that, folks.

Another Sex Lab Assistant (Naughty Nurse Kimpy keeps her Sex Lab Assistants very busy doing research, she assures you) referenced a highly amusing--and informative--recent sex survey of gay and bisexual men. Her personal favorite is “keeping the competition stiff.”

Now you know for real just how awesome Nurse Kimpy’s readers and Sex Lab Assistants are. *happy sigh*
So I also have a fic-related question!! I was reading one in which the characters have sex while the girl was pregnant. It got me wondering... Can you have sex while bearing a child?
Also. My boyfriend and I are virgins. We have recently been experimenting with fingering. We've only done it a couple of times, and I understand that it'll take time to get used to having a finger there, but do you have any tips for my boyfriend on how to make it more pleasurable for me?

To answer the first part of your question, yes, you can have sex while you’re pregnant. The only time it’s really contraindicated, meaning you shouldn’t do it, is in the event that you’re experiencing bleeding or going into labor prematurely. Your obstetrician will be able to give you guidelines as to what is/isn’t appropriate while you’re pregnant.

Can you have sex while you’re bearing a child? That’s a little bit different than merely having sex while you’re pregnant. Most women don’t want a penis anywhere near their cooters while they’re in labor. In fact, many women might promise to cut off their partner’s junk just to ensure they never have to go into labor again. I’m not sure I know any woman who wants to have sex while they’re in labor, but I’m sure it’s happened.

Regarding the fingering part of your question... the key part is, obviously, getting used to the sensation of having something inside you. The best way to make it more comfortable is to make sure you’re good and aroused before you start. You want to be really wet, or at least use lube to help smooth things along. It also helps to use fingering in conjunction with some clit play. You can even double team things, where you work on your clit while he works down below. Another idea is for him to work his way up to stimulating your G-spot, which also makes things feel WAY better.

You can find some great tips to pass along to your partner from Sex Roz. Have fun, be safe, and good luck!

I have been with my boyfriend for well over a year now, and whilst we do have great sex, I am starting to crave the slow intimate 'lovemaking'. I've never really had anything along those lines with previous partners, but I want to experience it with my boyfriend now. I'm not sure how to broach this with my other half without sounding as if i'm not satisfied with what he's doing now (aka not bruise the fragile male ego!!!) What steps should I take to start bringing that intimate feel in to our sex life and have that deeper connection? Thank you!

One of the most difficult things to do in a sexual relationship is to actually talk about the mechanics of sex, and whether or not it’s working for you. It’s really important to establish an open line of communication with each other, though, if you want to get as much enjoyment from sex as possible.

The thing about sex is that men and women are built differently, and because of that, they experience sex differently. Sometimes, these differences don’t go hand in hand. Or, rather, peen in vag. The sexual magic in stimulating a penis involves friction. So, the old in-out, in-out, jackrabbit thrusting sex is what many guys love. It’s the best and easiest way for them to get off.
For women, however, the structure of our anatomy makes it more difficult to orgasm from jackrabbit sex. A recent study (2005) revealed that the inner wall of the vagina actually contains clitoral tissue, as is illustrated in the photo below. In essence, your clitoris extends inward, so that every time your partner’s penis glides along your vaginal walls, you’re stimulating clitoral tissue. That’s why it feels so good to have maximum contact (i.e., slow strokes) with the penis.

Taking all this into consideration, I think the best way to let your partner know that you’d like to slow things down, is to start with a compliment. You want to reassure him how much you love having sex, and how great the sex is, and you know that you can make it even better. How do you do that? Stroke his ego by focusing on his peen. Tell him how amazing it feels when he’s all the way inside you. One time, when he’s all the way in, ask him to just pause for a minute before he begins thrusting, and tell him, “That’s what I meant, this feeling right here. Being filled by your cock is the best.” From there, whisper how you love it when he goes more slowly, so you can feel it all. Do you own a rocking chair? If you do, use it. Help him understand just how erotic and incredible it can be to sometimes switch up the pace. Again, make the focus all about his wonderful penis and how you just can’t get enough. You’ll be surprised at just how far those compliments can get you.

Hi! I am 22 years old, and I have a question about a vaginal discharge I've been having. It seems mostly normal: no weird consistency, no unusual colors, doesn't itch, smells a little funky but that's not new. What I'm worried about is that it has started to bleach the bottoms of my black or colored panties. Is this something I should be concerned about? (I know how much you hate the word normal!) Thank you so much!

This has come up as a topic of an online conversation more than once, I assure you. The good news is that it doesn’t sound like any type of infection process is taking place here. The bad news is that the vagina, and its secretions, have an acidic pH. In general, acid = bleaching process. While this acidic environment is ideal for keeping infections away from your vagina, one consequence is that your underwear can get bleached out. We all know that Naughty Nurse Kimpy likes to avoid using the word normal, but this is one of those cases where it’s okay to use it. So no, you don’t need to be concerned about bleached panties. Consider it your female superpower.

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