Get to Know Jessypt

What can I say about myself? I’m Jessypt, and until about a year and a half ago, I wouldn’t have considered myself a perv. Hell, I’m probably the prudest perv in the Honorary Perv Pack! So, with trepidation and excitement, I am excited to be a part of this very pervy, smut-lovin’ pack of smexy ladies!

I like pretty lingerie, geeky boys, hot chefs, and cupcakes. I spend my days educating future leaders, my evenings playing with the hubs and my kids, and my nights writing a hot, emo Chefward in The Diner.

Get to know SubtlePen

“Click!”

*sits up a little straighter, adjusts the lay of Peter Pan collar over cashmere cardigan, crosses ankles demurely, cocks head to the side, lays hands in lap*

Pardon? Am I…? Oh! How kind of you to ask! Why, yes. Yes, I am a Proud Pervling!

*immediately sheds the fake Donna Reed getup (revealing a sequined g-string, tasseled pasties and an impressive toolbelt-o-sex toys), twirls upside-down on a giant chrome stripper pole, blows a kiss to the boys in the front row, suggestively licks her lips for the girls behind them*

I’ve always been a bit of a hussy, able to turn virtually any benign conversation into sexual innuendo in seconds flat. I’ve also always been a writer, journaling and creating stories from an early age, and later dramatizing my pervy fantasies. One I still remember involved sexing that culminated just as the Russians launched “The Bomb” at the US, and the world exploded in a fiery nuclear mushroom cloud. My fantasy man (modeled after my boyfriend, ca. 1982) simultaneously exploded into my [total Mary Sue’s] tight, hot, wet pussy in a cataclysmic eruption!!11!!eleven!

My characters were instantly vaporized in a nuclear holocaust, but they had great sex as it was happening. Most powerful orgasm, EVAR! What a way to go, yeah?

Ok, so I’m old, and I grew up during the cold war.

…and I’m a little dramatic. The cold war ended about the same time as my relationship with Mr. I-Want-To-CumSplosion-And-Die-In-Your-Arms. That filthy, cheating bastard.

Random: For some reason, at one time in my life, I considered the sound of a wet bathing suit hitting a tiled floor a very sexy sound. I still haven’t figured that one out. *splat* I might have even used it in a fic…

I work a very mundane full-time job, have a wonderful husband of 16 years and a seven year old son who inherited my story-telling gene. I watch very little television. I am constantly playing devil’s advocate, which is different from pessimism. It bugs me when people call it being ‘argumentative.’ I am sarcastic, gutter-minded, and quick with a comeback. I have little patience for office politics, manufactured life drama, disingenuousness and ass-kissing, so I tend to say the things everyone is thinking, but no one has the guts to admit. There is no elephant in my room. I have a weakness for New Mexico, Monty Python, tragic love stories, people who aren’t afraid to own their quirks, and crème brulee.

I love to read, and have been known to read a book five or six times in a row. The first book that I ever totally obsessed over was probably Marion Zimmer Bradley’s The Mists of Avalon. I spent an entire decade obsessed with Arthurian romances and Paganism. Come to think of it, that was probably the first time I realized I liked slash. Mmmmm Arthur/Lancelet… Hey – it was only one scene, but a girl can fantasize about being Gwenhwyfar in the middle of that mansandwich, right? Right?

It took me +15 years to finish Jane Eyre (which I now adore), but I refuse to read Jane Austen. Yep. I said it.

Other books that had a huge impact: Nevil Shute’s A Town Like Alice, Frank Herbert’s Dune, Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, Richard Bach’s Illusions, Wayne Dyer’s Gifts from Eykis, Peter Mathiessen’s In The Spirit of Crazy Horse, and Dee Brown’s Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. (name that theme? and… go!)

Did you know that in the Daphne DuMaurier’s Rebecca, we never learn the current Mrs. DeWinter’s first name? Genius.

I’ve tried to read Anne Rice, but I. Just. Can’t. Do it. *steps away from the razor blade*

The summer of 2008, a coworker turned me on to Twilight, but failed to mention it was ‘teen lit,’ and I was so rant-tastically disgusted that there was no sex in it, several other coworkers had to talk me off a ledge with promises of finding some good fanfiction smut for me.

Fan wha?

I don’t remember the first Twilight fan fic I read, but it wasn’t good. Probably horrific Jacob/Edward wolf/vamp slash. I fic dived (dove? whatev) several websites until I finally discovered Twilighted’s Most Recent list, and the rest is history. Some of the earliest fics I remember finding there are If It's The Beaches, The Arrangement, and Hiding In Plain Sight. Sadly, all three remain unfinished, but my love for them has never wavered, and I still have hope….. *casts the abandoned-fic stink-eye*

My holy triumvirate is a well-sold plot, depth of characterization, and better-than-average grammar/structure/vocabulary. You have to have at least two of the three to keep me invested in reading. I’ll read just about anything – slash (yum!), non-canon pairings, all-human, vamp/canon, alt-universe, angst, romance, drama, fluff, PWP – as long as it’s well written or has a plot so bloody fabulous that makes it worth overlooking otherwise grievous flaws. I love the unexpected – plot twists, unique reveals, creative use of canon elements, unusual settings. Make me believe, and I’m yours forever.

I can ship just about anything these days. Emmett/Jake? Bring it. Jasper/Leah? Sign me up. Bella/Rosalie? FemmeSlash isn’t really my thing, but I’d give it a try. Seth/Alice? I could see that. Edward/Felix? If Jasper was dead, no problem. Carlisle/Charlie? Oh hell yeah! …Esme? Only with Carlisle. Ever. That is all.

I started writing fic with Mind Over Matter , my smutty character study of canon BxE, pre-wedding. Somewhere along the line, a heinous nightmare ended up being the slightly controversial Aro’s Heir , and a plethora of drabbles and one-shots have since followed. Currently, I’m still trying to hammer out the final chapters of Aro’s Heir, toying with a few new one-shot ideas and contest entries, and polishing the bones of an original fic.

Twilighted.net is still at the heart of my fic obsession, but I post more stuff to FanFiction.net because it’s just…easier. *sigh* In my perfect world, they marry and have a baby, and no one names it Renesmee.

(bouncing in my seat to see how Summit pulls off a PG-13 VampSarian delivery for the big screen)

Happy Perving!

*sloppy kisses and an awkward curtsey for Bethie, Emmy, Hope, Jeanne, Kim and Nina for honoring me as Perv for a Month*

*twirling, with squee hands*

-Liz “SubtlePen”

SubtlePen on Twilighted: http://www.twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=6198
On Fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/~subtlepen

Get To Know booboo kitty

Hidey ho little pervs, booboo kitty is in the hizouse!

So, this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you a little bit about myself right?  Well let’s see…I enjoy large balls of yarn, patches of sunlight to nap in, tuna, saucers of cream, snuggles and chin scratches.  I also love rainbows, things that sparkle, and a healthy dose of smut.

My skills include (but are not limited to) smut writing, clawing up furniture, being a ninja, lol cat speak, pinching gkkstitch in the bum, drooling magic juice on kimpy, motor boating einfach_mich’s boobs and hacking up the occasional hairball on demand when I’m pissed.

Seriously though, I started my journey here in the fandom on Twilighted where a wonderful, wonderful admin took me under her wing and showed me the ways of punctuation where it pertains to quotation marks, the lovely vjgm.  She has been so generous with her time and her wisdom and I am forever grateful. 

What do I write?  In addition to 7 or so lemony one shots (3 canon-esque, 3 all human & 1 crackfic) and a short 4 chapter fic (canon-esque), I have written 3 full length fics (1 canon-esque, 1 alternate universe and 1 all human) and I’m currently working on an all human fic that is 11 chapters in.  My canon-esque is pretty dang canon, but my all human fics tend to be a little outside the box.  That’s what my beta says anyway.  You can find everything on both Twilighted: http://www.twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=10903 and Fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/~boobookitty20

I’d also like to thank the wonderful ladies of The Shack, Miss Bethie, Miss Emmy, Miss Hopey, Miss Jeanne, Miss Kim & Miss Nina, for letting this little kitty come in and play!  I promise to do my bestest to not shed on the lovely furniture here in The Shack and to motor boat each and every one of you because I do love the boobies.

Get To Know gkkstitch

PROFILE: gkkstitch
FANFICTION: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/327203/gkkstitch
TWILIGHTED: http://www.twilighted.net/viewuser.php?uid=63892


So I was told I had to write a profile for myself. Hmmm.... where to start. My name is Gretchen, but most fan-folks call me Mouse (a nickname I picked up from my first fandom experience for having lots of gadgets). I've been officially in fandom since 1988, but looking back, I know I've been "fannish" since I was a kid with a ton of favorite TV shows that I would constantly imagine stories for. So I guess I've had writing in my blood all that time, too, even though I never wrote fanfic until 1989 and even then it was written with the idea that maybe someone would want it as a script. Ahh.. dreams of Hollywood!

FWIW, I'm secretly jealous of Manyafandom's moniker. Shh! It's a secret!

I often describe myself as a paddle-ball game, bouncing all over the place and connecting with folks but always returning back to my "calm" state.... um... eventually. Truth be told, as boisterous and outgoing as I am, I'm actually the quiet one in my family! I'm also as tenacious as they come, because I don't often let folks go when I move on to another fandom. I still stay in touch and travel often to see them wherever they are in the world. It helps that I love to travel. As odd as it sounds now, I have been a regular visitor of Forks, Washington, because a college friend lives in Seattle and when we visit her, we immediately head into the Olympic Peninsula to hug trees. Forks has always been one of our gas station stops on those trips. Who knew?

I love to cook and often send goodies through the mail, just because I want people to smile. Never challenge me. If you dare me to do something because you think I won't, I'll surprise you. A former neighbor and now long-distance friend called me on my birthday to chat and when she heard about the birthday cake my husband made for me, she teased that she wanted a piece. The next day, she had one! I mailed her a big chunk through over-night delivery. She called me, laughing, to tell me I was crazy.

My Twilight adventure with the books is simply another indicator to my level of Crazy. Having recently been burned by Sookie and Bill breaking up in that series of books, I was hesitant to start on Twilight and face another heartbreak. When I finally let myself be convinced, and started reading and enjoying the first book, my suspicions got the best of me and I peeked at the end, needing to know that Edward and Bella were together. But what did I find? I found a chapter from New Moon, where Edward was leaving Bella! I flew to Target in a pure rage to read the end of New Moon and was relieved to see them together. But now I had no trust in the author, so when I got home, I couldn't stop myself, reading both the first and second books at the same time! As I started to have faith again, I went back to Target and got the third and fourth books (again checking to see happy endings). Again, because I'm weak and desperate and a big sap for a love story, I couldn't stop myself from peeking at book three... and then book four, until I was reading all FOUR books at the same time! To date, I've read the series six times—a new low in my OCD tendencies, apparently.

I love the magic in these stories, but I've always known that magic is a fickle and fragile thing. Too much of any one thing can ruin it forever. This is why I prefer canon and since it was Edward and Bella's love story that captured my heart, they are the only ones I really prefer to read about. Edward has to be with Bella, and Bella has to be with Edward. I'm also picky about the story being about vampires. That's why it's called Twilight fiction and not "A couple folks named Edward and Bella" fiction — although there are several AH and AU stories I really enjoy.

I've written several stories for Twilight fiction (as well as Harry Potter, Beauty and the Beast, and Hunger Games). I started writing my first Twilight story in January 2009 that introduces an original character, Rolle, who is the opposite of Edward. He has been Edward's friend for years and he had a Bella once, too, but she was taken from him. The story, "Antithesis", is an exploration of loss as seen from Bella's point of view and is set primarily in Post-Breaking Dawn. I refer to this story as alternate-universe, because I left out BabyTeeth, um... er, I mean... Renesmee. I didn't feel I got to know her very well, and was disappointed that her appearance detracted so much from the love affair that I wanted to read more about. That was when I discovered LolaShoes "Let Your Light Shine." That story is the Breaking Dawn I really wanted to see and I jokingly refer to my own stories as LYLS fiction, above and beyond Twilight.

Many other FF stories have inspired me as well. Giselle-lx and her Carlisle (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4988866/1/Ithaca_is_Gorges), and LorileD (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2040358/LoreliD) and her Jane and Alec stories are in the top five of that list. But again, in LolaShoes' "A Life Extraordinary" and "This Hungry World" I found the love-affair that I needed and am now near completion of a sequel to "Antithesis," called "Absolucion." My original character, Rolle, makes an enormous sacrifice to protect his friends from ever experiencing the painful loss that he, himself, has suffered. He hands himself over to the Volturi to keep them away from Bella, but as more of his past is uncovered, the Cullens learn that Rolle is actually a vampire assassin—a real person they thought was only a rumor.
Both "Antithesis" and "Absolucion" received The Indies Twific Award nominations.

It's the strength we have as a writing community, drawing on each other for inspiration and aspiration that I have always admired about fandom. One of my pet project, to highlight this enormous reservoir of talent, is to create a public google doc that we, as a community can draw on to create "Fanon" — one of my favorite expressions. Canon is the foundation of our stories, using guidelines established by Stephanie Meyer. Fanon is the fan-created stuff that we all decide to use, together. For instance, what if we decided that at some point in his past, Carlisle practiced psychiatry? If everyone writing a Carlisle story started to imply or even write about Carlisle being a psychiatrist, then it would become fanon. There would come a time when people would have to go back and read the books again, to look for the real reference. Trust me, after 20+ years in fandom, when we achieve fanon it is a fabulous and remarkable feeling.

My two pet projects have been Carlisle's backstory, as told by fanon, and the Volturi guard!

Carlisle: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZWpUpHQo7lGZGd3ZjJjd2hfNzRocDl0dHdtbQ&hl=en
Volturi: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AZWpUpHQo7lGZGd3ZjJjd2hfNzUzNDh0eDZoYg&hl=en

To Emmy and Kimpy and Bethie... Thank you for inviting me to be an honorary perv. We have such fun poking each other (see what I did there?) over Twitter, it feels like we've been friends for years. I look forward to exploring my perviness with you all!

-gkk

Get To Know Chele681

Hello ladies and… well, ladies. It is my absolute pleasure to be joining the Perv Pack this month in the honorary seat. Don’t worry; I gave it a good scrubbing before I sat down. I know who’s been here and what they’ve been up to. *eyes FloridaChickie*

My name is Chele, and I like to feel things. You know, the emotion which comes with reading a story while it hangs on the knife’s edge of conflict and passion? This is why I have become an avid reader of fanfic. Humor, Angst, Drama, Romance; I want it all, just don’t tell me what’s going to happen. I love an HEA, but I hate to see it coming. If you’re going to hurt me, don’t give me a chance to brace myself. I want a writer to let me have the full experience they’ve put so much effort into creating.

I’m not ashamed to say that I hold high standards and am a bit of an elitist when it comes to recommending fics. I am a lover of good plot, steamy smut, and effective characterizations. I’ll read just about anything with one of those qualities, but when they combine, a story can own me hard. Be bold, avoid redundancy, and stay true to the characters you write.

Just Ship it! (Note: Ship: N: Short for romantic relationship. V: To endorse a romantic relationship.)


Bravery is awesome, and for this reason I have a special love for non-canon pairings. I am amazed by these authors’ ability to write a story which makes me really believe that two characters who were unrelated or adversaries in canon can be lovers or friends when painted in a different light. I am the equal-opportunity shipper. You name ‘em, I probably ship ‘em. I’ll pair Jasper with anyone who isn’t a blood relative, and I’ve enjoyed fics which paired Bella with everyone but Charlie and Yorkie. (Yes, even I, the consummate shipper, have hard limits: rape, incest, abuse, and Yorkie)

Bella and Edward are beautiful together, but considering their massive exposure, a writer has to bring it hard if they want to write them in a way that hasn’t been done.

Alternately, there are dozens of other characters just waiting to be thrust into the limelight.

Ladies, meet Peter. He’s asking us to come back to bed, and to bring Jasper with us. Imagine the possibilities. There are some brilliantly written stories which highlight secondary characters and non-canon pairings. Give them a chance.

A few of us have gotten together to shamelessly beg for more alternative pairings by holding the Alternate-Shippers Challenge.

Once More, With Passion.

Upon discovering fanfic, I was awed by the volume and diversity of smut. Like most in the post-isle Esme coitus-interruptus haze, I read it like a girl who’d just found the key to her chastity belt: without discretion. Once the initial titillation of reading dirty words wore off, I found that I really wanted more from my smut. Enter my search for and obsession with smut for the sake of character development. In a best case scenario, I can learn as much about a character’s personality in the context of one lemon as I can from 3,000 words of descriptive introduction. It’s nice to read about Bella’s mahogany tresses and Edward’s penchant for desiring control in the bedroom. You can take three pages to explain it, or you can tell me about how Bella’s hair feels wrapped in Edward’s fist.

Imagine how intimate behaviors can define personality. The way a man disposes of a condom is probably a good indicator as to whether he will pick his dirty socks up off the floor. Ideally every action by a character should mean something, if a lemon is worth writing it should be so tightly woven into the story that to remove it would cause everything to unravel.

Sex in fiction can be so much more than the insertion of throbbing members. Let actions and passions speak. Don’t tell me about it, show me. When an author makes this work I fall madly in love. You can ask Einfach Mich and Twanza, both of whom have received my epically smitten reviews after having been left breathless by their descriptions. They have an ability to incorporate intimacy within the plot in a way that brings a reality to the characters which would otherwise be impossible to express.

There are many authors that do this well, and for the love of baby kittens, please leave them reviews and encourage them to write more. A plot bunny get’s it’s wings every time you push that review button and share the love.

She’s the Alpha, I’m the Omega

One of my greatest joys of being in the fandom is being a content beta / prereader. I consider it an honor when an author puts their trust in me to give them feedback on their artistic creations. God help them if they listen to my suggestions. Sweet Dulcinea lets me play with her Peter. She is brilliant and brave, and I am lucky.

I only ever really write for two reasons:

1. To hone my reviewing skills. Nothing lends perspective or contributes to author appreciation like trying to do it your self.

2. To rub up against greatness. A good collaboration is intimate and beautiful, and I have been lucky enough to have the honor of writing with several awesomely talented partners. I highly suggest it.

I am thrilled to be counted among this group of extraordinary women for the month. I hope that in my time with The Perv Pack I can take part in shedding light on some excellent and smuttastic fics.

Get To Know Twilighter620

Je m'appelle C.

That’s all the French I know and I’m pleased to meet you all.

I’m for shit at writing these sorts of things and you’ll be able to tell as I ramble along.

The ladies here at the PPSS humor me, so I get looped into doing things like this from time-to-time.

To the fandom, I’m that one random chick who updates infrequently and writes that overly dramatic cop fic ;)

In real life, I’m that one random chick who listens to strange music and acts crazy because she works well over full-time hours between work and school.

I spend copious amounts of time on Facebook and if you touch my Passion Tea Lemonade (sweetened, please) I will hurt you. These days I spend my time reading European History textbooks and wishing I could get my fucking bachelor’s for spending so much time at school. (It has to be equivalent to a four year degree already!). I also give way too much money to the Red Bull company. Just sayin…

I think Robert Pattinson pwns Taylor Lautner. And I’m currently not speaking to my mother because she booked my ticket for our family vacation on June 30th…

Maria is clearly the cooler Honorary Perv and Emmy is obviously a saint for petitioning the PPSS to allow such a crazie into their group.

If you’re still reading this, thank you for wasting two minutes of your life on me. 

You should take a look around and tell the PPSS how much you love them and appreciate what they do for the fandom.

Kisses, Cynthia

Get To Know gemmabobella

I'm not gonna lie, when I was asked to be an honorary perv with the Perv Pack Smut shack, I got all kinds of excited. I have been a fan of this site since day one, and I am so proud and excited for these ladies to see it doing so well. Mostly, I'm glad to see so many people out there embracing their inner perv. And, well, I'm definitely a perv and proud of it! But that wasn't the story only a few years ago ...

It all started when some of my students (I teach middle school) were huddled over a book and talking during rehearsal when they weren't supposed to. The book was Eclipse, and they'd just bought it at the school book fair. Naturally, being the good responsible teacher I am, I confiscated the book until the end of the day as a consequence of trying to read it during rehearsal. And, well ... I got curious. Now, mind you, before this I never read a "young adult" book, not even when I was a young adult. My reading favorites include Jane Austen, Issac Asimov, Michael Crichton, Ray Bradbury, and other various science fiction authors. So it was with a wry smile that I flipped through the book.

As you might imagine, starting with the third book of a series can bring up a lot of questions, so it was only natural to go back and read the other books also to figure out what was going on. So I went in reverse order, reading New Moon and then Twilight. I told myself I was reading it so that I could better interact with my students, better understand their fragile adolescent psyche - but we all know what the truth is, don't we? I fell in love with Edward Cullen. Yup, I admit it. That was the beginning of the end.

At that point, I found myself wanting to know what happened next. Remember, this was before the movie, before Breaking Dawn, and before I'd ever heard of anything called fan fiction. (RPatz is pretty, but he isn't exactly what I pictured when I thought of Edward. And don't get me started on BD) But little did I know my life was about to completely change.

In my quest for speculations as to what would happen next, as well as my overall impatience with having to wait for the final book to be published, I did some web surfing. First, I found a couple blogs where individuals had posted their versions of what came next. And then I found this site called fanfiction.net. And the rest, as they say, is history.

In the past two and a half years, my relationship with fan fiction has grown and evolved, and it is almost difficult to remember what my life was like before. I've come to really view the fan fiction world as a community, and I've been fortunate enough to make some amazing friends that I will cherish for years to come. As well as expanding my love from Edward Cullen to several other members of the Twilight universe, I feel like I've grown and become far more comfortable with myself as well as my perv status.

I'd also never written anything of substance that wasn't required or graded - ever - until I started writing fan fiction. I wish I could better remember which author it was, but in an author's note she was responding to what I assume was a negative review. She challenged her readers to write their own story if they didn't like the one she was writing. And not that I didn't like her story, but I thought - "why the hell not?" I really wish I could go back and thank that author.

But there have been several people along the way that have encouraged me either via a review, PM, chatter on the forum, etc. that have really made my excursion into the world of fan fiction a memorable one. The friendships I've made over the past couple years are ones that I know I will work hard to maintain as the years continue to go by.

While the bulk of my writing tends to hang out on the angstier side of life, I am no stranger to the lemon. Let's just say I do my fair share of reading. Thank goodness for sites like the Perv Pack, where I can get recommendations! I am also a huge fan of the Indie Twific Awards, as they help first time authors gain readers and recognition. I have a great deal of respect for anyone posting their first story. I can vividly remember the first time I posted my first chapter, and I know how much courage it takes to put your writing out there.

So while it may have been my mental version of Edward Cullen that brought me to the fan fiction world, I am proud to say that it is my love of a well written story, beautiful men, vampire sex, heart fail, and friendship that keep me connected to this amazing community.

As with just about every other teacher, I am looking forward to summer for many reasons - my favorite being Comic Con 2010! I am a geek at heart, and last year I just about passed out when I almost ran into Edward James Olmos! Thank goodness Starbuck or Apollo or Helo weren't there, or I definitely would have passed out and made a total ass of myself. I don't know if I can fully express in words just how excited I am to go again this year, as well as be reunited and meet my twi-friends.

Until then I will settle for reading, hopefully getting back to writing, laughing at my students when they're not looking, and hanging out with my awesome black lab.

Rock on, fellow pervs!

Get To Know FloridaChickie

People who know me, know I am not one to "squee." Scream, high five, and tap my feet on the floor in excitement? Yes! But "squee"? No. Hell, I had never even heard that term till I found this fandom. But I will admit, I just might have "squee'd" or whatever the hell that is after being asked to become an Honorary Pervling of the Smut Shack. I have loved this blog ever since the day I found it, attracted by one of its early images of a girl in a collar and the nasty, filthy, lustful hoors that chock this blog full with their non G-rated words.

So a little about this bitch who goes by the moniker, FloridaChickie. I grew up in LALA'land, the place of earthquakes, sun, and fake boobs. During my 20's, Boston was my home for grad school and my first big girl job. It was there, I found me a man, and after getting hitched in Cape Cod, we decided to move to the land of hurricanes, sun, and fake boobs. Floriduh! During the work week, I am a social worker trying to solve the ills of society. Feel free to wish me luck. In my free time, I like to go see bands live (which isn't easy in S. FL), protest on street corners, visit Walt Disney World, hang out with my rabbit (buzz buzz), take my westie to the dog park, read/write fanfic, and yell back at hubs when he says that RPatz "is the Keanu Reeves of this generation."

In my late teens and 20's, I was very much into the punk hardcore scene. Its DIY attitude shaped me during my formidable years, and I was surrounded by lots of super cool peeps that didn't give a shit about how society wanted to label them. I also was inspired by many fuckawesome women, who were creative, independent, and sex positive. I learned from them to not be ashamed about who I am and my body, which also included exploring my pervy side. I have to say, that scene reminds me of this scene. While music may have been swapped for fic, and fanzines replaced by blogs like TPPSS, the similarities are definitely there. It is so refreshing to chat with awesome women in this fandom every day whether it be on message boards or over twitter. In its best form, we lift each other other up when someone is having a bad day and support important causes, all while also swapping naughty stories and the like. (I know this scene has its share of drama too, but I don't fucking support it.)

I got into Twi in Fall 2008, having picked up the books later than most of you. My FF account shows that I joined NY's Eve 2008. It was that night, I discovered the world of fanfic, and my hubs had to beg me to step away from the computer so we could finish the bottle of champagne. My first fics were a result of google searching to see if anyone had filled in the gaps of the ultimate clam jam, the honeymoon on Isle Esme. I needed to get my fix because it sure as hell wasn't going to come from S.M. All I can say is "thank you" to vixen1836 for satisfying that pervy craving! A few months later, LolaShoes further helped to fill in that gap as well!

Since then, I have loved reading all these new worlds that authors have created, taking my favorite characters and dropping them in to watch them play. I have laughed, cried, and done a few loads of panty laundry over certain fics. Many of you know that I would easily run off with Domward if possible. He was my first true love, and I will forever be indebted to tarasueme for that. You never forget your first especially if that good. My earliest fanfic stories centered around Edward & Bella, but as I have 'grown' as a reader, I very much enjoy reading stories that revolve around other Twi characters. Hopey and I hosted the "Love for the Unloved" contest last summer, and it was awesome getting to see the 'lesser' characters have some fun in the spotlight. I am definitely an anything goes kinda girl. If the fic is good, I love romance, angst, slash, alternate pairings, and crackfic. I am not a wussperv. Bring on the tears and gut wrenching pain!

So after diving further into the world of Twi fic as a reader, I decided to dust off my ol' writing skills. With the help of the ever awesome siouxchef, I wrote my first one shot for the Age of Edward contest, Flying High with Silver Wings. I would read from other authors how their characters would speak to them, and I was surprised to find the same was true for me. I just couldn't seem to leave that story behind, so I headed back to 1965 and the land of stewardesses and pilots to expand on this story. As one with a fascination of all things 60s related, it has been a blast researching for this fic and taking a time machine (not in a hot tub) back to that era. I have also written a couple of one shots that have allowed me to play with Jasper and Edward in a college radio station, let Charlie dish out mustache rides, and give Bob BarkerWard the chance to show Bella some fun times on the Plinko set. While I probably have some readers who have noticed that I have been on a writer's hiatus for the past couple months, it is because real life has kicked my ass as of late (in a good way). I can promise that I am not ditching FHSW! I now have the story fully outlined and ready to go again! Aside from writing, I also have the honor of beta'ing from time to time for the awesomely talented hopeful wager and siouxchef.

Aside for my love of reading/writing fic, you also may know me for my love of posting naughty or fic inspired Edward/Bella doll pictures. If you haven't seen them before, feel free to check them out on my LJ page.

Alright, enough bullshit about me. I Just want to give a big ol' wet smooch to the awesome people I have become friends with in this fandom and to the Shack'ers for inviting me to throw in my 2 cents about some fics during the month of April. xoxo, FLC

Get To Know ciaobella27

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When I’m not going by the name ciaobella27, people call me Tracy. I live just north of Boston with my husband and two boys. I write fan fic and it’s a really big secret.

I used to be an avid reader. I used to like all different genres. I had opinions that I’d share during book club meetings. I used to be normal. Now, I’m not.

Let me take you back to 2008, when Entertainment Weekly ran a horrible cover story on the making of Twilight. Rob was covered in atrocious white make-up, Kristen looked weird. I didn’t really pay much attention to either of them. The article, however, piqued my interest, because I'd always been a fan of vampire books. I mentioned the book to my sister, who decided to buy it and read it during her vacation the following week. I figured I'd borrow it from her at some point if she thought it was any good. A week later, my sister called me from an airport in Mexico, frantically searching through airport bookstores for New Moon. She went on and on about how I didn’t understand how beautiful Edward was and that the book was life-altering. At the time, I laughed because I thought she was drunk. I now find that conversation really ironic.

In the end, she vowed to drop the book off at my house as soon as she got back, and made me promise to start reading it right away. I agreed to read after I finished my book club selection, but really felt that she needed to get out more.

By the end of the following week, I read all four books.

After finishing Breaking Dawn, like many readers, I went looking for something more. I found the Lexicon by way of Stephenie Meyer’s site and read my first fic. I was stunned because I had no idea fan fiction existed. I also had no idea that there was a legion of Edwards having sex with their respective Bellas. So in September of 2008, I stopped reading book club selections, and started reading about the Edwards that wanted to sex their Bellas up. I still believe that this was a good choice.

Now, I can’t go on and on about how I started reading fan fic without recommending some. I read a ridiculous amount of fic. Despite the *cough* drama in Living Backwards right now, I can’t handle heavy-duty angst. I believe that Edward’s penis should never be allowed within a fifty foot radius of anyone other than Bella…ever. If your Edward’s penis violates this rule, I will run away from your fic crying.

There are certain types of angst that I am willing to withstand. That brings me to my recommendations. My favorite completed fic is Tropic of Virgo by in.a.blue.bathrobe. The plot is simple, but the words blue.bathrobe uses to tell her story are beautiful and poetic. You fall in love with Spark and Pretty Boy. I can tell you the exact moment that I became a wussperv, and it is all blue.bathrobe’s fault. I’ve read stories with far more conflict, but I think it was because I loved her characters so much that I was practically curled up in a fetal position when the heartfail began. I really love Tropic of Virgo, even though it broke me. Read it and you’ll understand why.

The current fics that I rush to read are With Teeth by TalulaBlue and Bella Swan: Zombie Killer by Kristen Nicole. Two very different stories, but they both make me equally happy. Like blue.bathrobe, the words TalulaBlue uses strike such a chord with me. The way an author tells a story is just as important as the story itself and TalulaBlue gets that. Her words are so pretty – rich and descriptive. I know the heartfail is imminent, but I can’t look away.

There just isn’t any way for me to tell you how amazing Bella Swan: Zombie Killer is. Kristen Nicole manages to be unbelievably funny, while writing about a world filled with death and gore. There are zombies, so there is gore, but it’s funny gore. Except when it’s not. At any rate, read it. Best Rosalie in the fandom.

So in a nutshell, I used to be an avid reader, now I don’t read anything unless the main character’s name is Bella. I used to like all different genres, now I consider Domward a genre. I used to have opinions that I’d share during book club meetings. Now I only go to book club to drink their cheap wine. I used to be normal. Honestly.

Now, sadly, I’m not.

Get To Know EJ_Santry

Hello, all, I am EJ Santry (aka, Bethie). I am a soon-to-be 34 year old (my birthday is mid month) SAHM of two beautiful girls (6 and 3). Oh the irony of working four jobs to get through college just to wave to my diploma on the wall as I pass it to play the 1000th game of Candyland with my 3 year old. Before my days of bon-bons and leisure (sarcasm), I was a programmer. On occasion, I am suckered back into that work.

I have written (goes to check) 12 stories. When did that happen?! I am not well known for my writing, but most people know me from my reviewing. I am very avid reader/reviewer in the fandom, and a huge believer in the well thought out review. The ladies (I use that term loosely) like to tease my about my organization of my reading and reviewing, but it is how I keep track of what I am reading, what I want to read, or what I have read in the past. Evidence is on my blog: http://ejfanfic.blogspot.com. In the last year and a half, I have submitted almost 1400 reviews on FF.net, and typically have close to 100 stories on alert. I will read just about anything. I have found only RLF and tossed salad make me tap out.

I am infamously known for hating any kind of teaser/spoiler. Hmonster4 even quoted my soap boxing in her recent TLYDF article about HEAs. I love to be surprised by moments. I like to feel my heart clinch in pain along with the characters, and the happy tears fall when they experience joy. Just today, I finished a fic that had me crying so hard my eyes felt like they had been exfoliated and my head still hurts 12 hours later. I wouldn't trade experiencing that moment by being forewarned.

I also am known to be very trustworthy with secrets and plot lines. On occasion, I allow my no-spoiler policy down to brainstorm with the authors of the fics I am reading or to preview (I don't beta. I have shitty grammar [NOTE: spell check was needed to spell “grammar” correctly], punctuation, etc.). I hold keys to several castles. Don't cha wish you knew which ones? ::evil laugh::

Most of all, I love all of the friends I have made in the fandom. I am one of those people who has never met a stranger. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it is big enough to wrap inside of it every wonderful person I come across. I am a lucky perv, indeed.

Get To know einfach_mich & kimpy0464

February's HP's are up this week. Let's delve into what makes einfach_mich & kimpy0464 tick.

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Perv Profile

Name: Einfach Mich

Known Alias: Jeanne, Jeanne J Thompson, Insufferable h00r, Teaser h00r, Mistress of Team Evil, That bitch that owes me $20

Sex: Yes, Please

Bio: Thirty-something, mother and wife. Long time geek/fangirl, and obsessive over-thinker. Life-long aspiring writer, and one-time actress/theater tech.

Known Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Wars, BSG, Marvel, DC, Smallville, OZ, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, LOTR, Harry Potter, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter, Pitch Black, A Song of Ice and Fire, Dr. Who, Torchwood, Coupling, Trueblood (tv show only), Twilight (Active)

Primary Influences: Neil Gaiman, Warren Ellis, William Gibson, Einstein, Stephen Hawkings, Shakespeare, Dorothy Parker, Hunter S. Thompson, Salvador Dali, John Waters, David Bowie, David Lynch

Influential Books: Watchman, The Return of the Dark Knight, Batman: The Killing Joke, Dune, The Outsiders, Pride and Prejudice, Titus Andronicus (plays count as books), The Sandman Series, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Watership Down, Transmetropolitan, Global Frequency, Naked Lunch,

Influential Movies: Bladerunner, Legend, Purple Rain, Quills, Kissed, Perfect Blue (anime), Akira (anime), Near Dark, Fight Club, Hairspray, True Romance, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Wild at Heart, The Thin Man series, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Somekind of Wonderful

Twilight Profile

Favorite Canon Ships: Edward/Bella (before the fight scene in Eclipse), Jacob/Bella (suspect becomes highly agitated when challenged on whether this pairing is canon)

Favorite Non-Canon Ships: Edward/Bella/Jacob, Edward/Jacob, Edward/Leah, Edward/James (though suspect believes this ships equates to narcissism since Jame is a literal manifestation of Edward's animal desires), James/Jasper (suspect likes the potential for violence and pretty), Aro/Carlisle (suspect believes that this is canon), Jane/Felix (suspect also believes that this ship is canon), Charlie/Carlisle (suspect was inspired to ship this after viewing the movie), Leah/Jasper, Leah/Felix (New), Reneesme/Nahuel

Current Stories: Confessions of a Difficult Woman, Fall in the Light

FanFiction.net Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1853387/

Live Journal: http://einfach-mich.livejournal.com/

Suspected Interview
Location: Interrogation Room 69
Date: Monday, February 22, 2010
Time: 05:52:00 PM

Note: Suspect would like it to be noted in the record that she is an unwilling participant in this interview.

Chele: Let’s cut to the chase here. We’ve got questions. You’ve got answers. So the readers don’t have to google it, WTF does Einfach Mich mean?

EM: It is german and it roughly translates into Simply Me or Easy Me. Either one fits me.

Chele: When did you become such a perv?

EM: I was born this way.

Chele: I see you have a Harem. Do you take satisfaction in bringing others along with you in your depravity?

EM: It's hard to take something when it's given up to me so sweetly and so often. In other words, yes. A lot.

Stenographer Note: Suspect smiles.

Chele: What is Team Evil, and where do we sign up?

EM: Team Evil is a group of twi-fans with a shared agenda. Team Evil is about breaking the rules, having fun and sex...a lot of yummy yummy sex. Some of the girls will say it has to do with liking my fic, but don't believe it.

Team Evil is about being yourself, and telling the rest of the world to fuck right off.

Stenographer Note: Suspect kicks boots up onto table, and winks at interrogator.

Chele: You’ve noted that you have written fanfic for years. What prompted you to start sharing your writings?

EM: The Twi-fandom fan fiction writer community, straight up. I have never seen such a supportive and interactive community of writers ever. Without the help of wonderful people that reach out to me on a daily basis, I would have never had the courage to break out of my shell and post my fic.

I think with all the drama and conflict, we often take this community (and it's positive influences) for granted. This is a heaven, a place of nurturing and friendship.

Chele: Why Twilight?

EM: All the loose ends, and unexplored characters. When you cut to the bone of the series it is about the characters, and these characters are fascinating. I write fic for the same reason (that I imagine) a lot of people do. I don't want to let go. I love Edward, Emmett, and Leah too much to close the book on them. I want more for them. More lives, and loves, and in some most cases better ones than they found in canon.

It's no secret that I'm a big Leah fangirl. Honestly, that girl needs all the friends she can get.

Chele: We know all about how you operate. Tell us something about you that might surprise us.

EM: Out of all the Winnie the Pooh characters I identify with Piglet the most.
Stenographer Note: Suspect shrugs.

Chele: You seem entirely unmotivated by reviews. What is that inspires you to write if not for the fandom acclaim?

EM: I am not going to lie, I REALLY appreciate reviews, and I wish I had more time to reply to them. It's taken me a long time to get comfortable and confidant enough to share my writing. I think that one of the things that makes this fandom unique is how active the readers are. I want to continue to support that.

Whenever I have free time, I'm conflicted about whether to use it to write or reply to reviews. I usually choose to write, because in the end, I believe that's what people would want more. I hope that I'm right.

As for what inspires me to write, the answer is always the stories. I've been dreaming up and telling stories all of my life. I remember when I was six I made up a story after I saw the Empire Strikes Back (about how I was Luke's sister, aka the “other” Skywalker).

I only started writing, really writing when I was nineteen. It has been a long hard road to get to the point where I am actually fairly satisfied and proud of my writing. Now, that I finally have a way to get these stories out of my head, and the final product doesn't make me cry with embarrassment, I'm in heaven.

Writing is my drug of choice. It makes me happy, consumes my mind and helps me express things that I otherwise struggle with communicating properly.

Writing is how I try to communicate meta* ideas about a story, canon, characters or fandom in general. My stories aren't just for entertainment. Most of the time I'm trying to say very specific things with these stories or I'm trying to sell you on an idea that you wouldn't normally go for.

Plus I get to write about people fucking, a lot.

Stenographer Note: *Metafiction: Fandom term that describes fictional writing that self-consciously and systematically draws attention to its status as an artifact in posing questions about the relationship between fiction and reality, usually, irony and self-reflection.

Chele: What is it about the fucking and the fighting?

EM: There are two experiences that bookend ALL of our lives. One is being born and the other is dying. Every human being (hell, every living creature) on this planet will experience both of these events, eventually.

Another person is not physically required to be present for both of these events to occur. However, when someone else is involved with either of these experiences it is intense, intimate and can be potentially horrifying or even transcending.

Fucking and Fighting are not exactly life and death, but they are both dances that draw us closer to them. They both can be beautiful and horrible. They can be seductive and repulsive. Both require passion (be it love or hate), and they create a unique connection between those involved.

Plus bruises are sexy, and girls are hot when they beat up dudes.

Stenographer Note: Suspect winks at the interrogator.

Chele: I suppose there’s no chance that you’re going to change your evil ways?

EM: Not a chance.

Stenographer Note: Suspect flips over table and begins to destroy interrogation room with chair. Officers are called in to forcibly remove the suspect from room.

Chele681 begrudgingly agreed to perform the interview because; “I'm only doing this to get in your pants... I need no credit.”

Team Evil is as cool as it sounds. Membership inquires are to be sent to Chele681 (via Twitter).

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All About Kimpy0464

Any good story needs to start at the beginning, so gather round, my lovelies, for the engaging tales I will tell. Actually, I’m just kidding. But if you’re game to read, I’m game to give you the 411 on all things Kimpy.

To say that I’m thrilled to bits to be an Honorary Perv is an understatement. When I got the invitation, I felt like looking around the room and saying, “Who, me? No, really? You don’t mean someone else?” Apparently, they did mean me, so here I am.

In RL, I’m a nurse. I work in the Pediatric ICU, and I love, love, love it. I work three days a week and get a week off every three weeks, so I have plenty of time left for FFn (it’s about priorities, after all). I also have my Masters in Public Health, I have ¾ of my Masters in International Management, and recently turned down a spot in a doctoral program for nursing. Quite honestly, I’m enjoying being a nurse so much, I don’t want to give it up. Plus, it would require foregoing FFn, and I’m simply not willing to make such sacrifices at this time. LOL!

I’ve been married for nearly 23 years (I know, I know) and my hubs is a really good guy. He is my best friend and my soul mate and I feel darn lucky that I found him. If you want to read our story, check out my very first one-shot, “Like a Virgin,” and you’ll see what I mean. He’s funny as hell and still makes me laugh every day.

I have one son, who will be 16 this summer, which positively terrifies me—he will be driving in less than six months. I promise to warn all of you ahead of time once he passes his test. He is a lovely boy who has turned me into a far better person than I ever would have been on my own. He has been everything I needed and nothing I expected, which is perfect. While I love him to death, I also knew within about 5 minutes of having him that one was my hard limit. I’m way too anally retentive and intense to handle more than one kid at a time. So, I have the delight of having a child, and the ease of having only one. It’s the best of all possible worlds. Truly. He’ll be attending Comic Con with me this summer. We have a blast geeking out together.

Exactly how I got hooked on Twi is still a mystery to me. My best gay friend, with whom I share a passion for all things non-fiction, coerced me. He said, “We’re going to go see the movie together, so you have to read this.” To which I replied, “Absolutely not. I’ll see the movie, but I can’t read the book. It was on the NYTimes Bestseller list, for god’s sake! I can’t possibly read something like that! It’s about vampires! It’s a romance novel! I can’t do it, I just can’t.” Blah, blah, blah. He didn’t listen. He handed me the book, asking me to give it 15 minutes. I told him 5. I scrunched my nose for the first few minutes. I rolled my eyes a couple of times. I scoffed. But then, I got hooked. It drew me in, like crack cocaine, and I couldn’t stop. I read straight through for 24 hours, and the first chapter of New Moon was at the end of the book. It was a Friday night, 11:00 PM, so I went straight to Barnes and Noble and bought the entire series. I read it through a few (five or so) times, then started just re-reading my favorite passages before going to bed.

I needed more Edward and Bella, so I went to Stephenie Meyers’ website and found Midnight Sun, and that was the real turning point. WTF? An EPOV?! I thought I died and went to heaven, except for the fact that the BEST PARTS were missing, dammit. From there, I found a section of her website talking about FFn, and went to Twilighted. Oh my god, there were stories that filled in the fade-to-black moments?!! UNG. I hung out exclusively there for a few months, but then I discovered FFn, and that is where the true addiction began. At first, I could only read canon stories, because AU and AH just didn’t make any sense to me at all. Then, I happened upon “Frenemies,” and it was like crack all over again. I then flipped in the other direction, and pretty much read AH exclusively now.

At the end of the day, I consider myself to be simply a huge fangirl. Just ask any of the Pervs, I’ve fangirled all over their asses. They probably figured they could get rid of me by asking me to be an HP, but I’m a tad more tenacious than that (bwhahahaha!). They all deliver engaging stories with engaging smut—is there anything better than that?? Not in my book.

Being an ICU nurse, it is pretty hard to squick me out. As long as the schmex happens between two consenting adults, anything people enjoy sexually is fine by me. I love slash, and I’m definitely not a wussperv. It takes a HELL of a lot to make me cry, so if your fic induces Kimpytears, that is a huge accomplishment. I’m also a huge fan of authenticity. As my dear friend and fellow Honorary Perv Einfach_Mich said recently, “I hate reading anal sex written by someone who's OBVIOUSLY never even bothered to research it past the basics. There's more to anal than lube.” Yeah, that sums it up right there.

I have written a few things, and it feels wrong to pimp myself, so you can find my stuff here. I started writing when I entered the “Age of Edward” contest, and just never stopped. I have one completed chapter fic, Desiderata, which is essentially an update of Pride and Prejudice (I’m a huge Jane Austen freak). I’m presently working on two other chapter fics at the moment. I have so much fun writing that it is ridiculous—the fact that there are people willing to read what I write just tickles me to death.

While my FFn obsession started as an offshoot of my Twilight obsession, it has become so much more than that. It is incredible that I’ve met so many wonderful people online. A whole new world opened up for me, and it is populated by women who are highly intelligent, wickedly funny, hugely supportive, and so much fun. My life has become infinitely richer over the past year, ever since I became involved in FFn. My online friendships are an enormous source of pleasure and comfort. I feel incredibly fortunate to know so many good people and to have found such a satisfying hobby.

While there is plenty of negative shit that goes on in FFn, there is also plenty of amazing things that happen, too. When you see some of the things that fans are capable of doing—raising incredible amounts of money for good causes—it makes my heart flutter. Sadly, meanness is present everywhere in life, so it’s no surprise when it hits FFn, too. Personally, I choose to behave in a way that earns respect, and strive to help everyone get along. There is enough unhappiness in the world without bringing it to the fandom.

It is so hard for me to narrow down the fics that I enjoy—it kills me to leave anyone out. Some of my favorite authors include, but are not limited to: Any of the PPSS girls, most especially MsKathy and manyafandom; tarasueme; lolashoes; adorablecullens; Mrs. TheKing; the artist formerly known as algonquinrt; einfach_mich; tby789; and angrybadgergirl. Stories that I keep rereading include, but are not limited to: The Port Angeles Players (this story deserves so much more love than it receives); The Trip Home; All I Ever Knew; Behind Enemy Lines (currently unavailable); A Life Extraordinary and Let Your Light Shine; The sub/The Dom; Wood; An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy; and Frenemies (no longer available).

Get to know AmethystJackson & acireamos

Ready to better know an (honorary) perv? Amethyst Jackson here, sometimes known as AJ or Miss Jackson…or, as I’m known in the real world, Katie. You see now why I need that out-there penname.

I am a senior in college, graduating December ’10. For a long time, my major emphasis was in literature, but I made a last minute switch to creative writing after a big life crisis phase. I’ve been in creative writing classes for a few weeks now, and I already think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

Besides that, my “real” life is painfully uninteresting. I have no significant other, only a handful of friends, and I live in Kansas, of all the boring places. I’m a bit of a hermit. Mostly, I hang around my dorm room, write fanfiction, watch TV, knit on occasion. I’ve always been drawn to creative pursuits. Personally, I get the most satisfaction when I’m doing something that actually produces something that other people can enjoy, whether it’s knitting or baking or writing.

This fandom thing has been going on for a long time for me. I started out when I was 13 with Harry Potter, and spend forever over there. Wrote a lot of fanfiction, most of it atrocious. I read Twilight and New Moon all in a rush my freshman year of college and was hooked from that point on. My Harry Potter love had been dying anyway, so it was that much easier to fall for Edward Cullen. I’ll probably keep writing fanfiction for a long, long time. The ideas just keep coming.

You can read pretty much all of my work (most notably, Only Human and Bonne Foi) at http://www.fanfiction.net/~amethystjackson. If I get caught in the current purge there, I’ll be moving to Twilighted under the same penname. I’ve also got everything on livejournal (cinnamon_kisses) somewhere or another.

Right now, I’m still working on Bonne Foi, and I’ve started a new project for the Twilight 25 called When Edward Met Bella – and yes, it is based on When Harry Met Sally.

So that’s me. If you’d like to contact me, you can shoot me a PM or find me on twitter (amethystjackson).

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So, yeah. I am Erica, code name Acireamos. (apparently I have secret agent aspirations, ;) Introducing myself is not exactly my thing. I am usually one of those people that gets embarrassed when singled out in a crowd. And then turns a shocking shade of red. I am not one to brag, so writing about myself is a strange exercise.

A little bit about me though. Hmmm. I am a mom, a wife, a student, an avid reader, a Jayhawk, a future interior designer, and lots more. I can be pretty sarcastic and as an oldest child can be more than just a little bossy. I have shockingly low standards for what I will read and will read almost anything. I read fast so I am often asked to pre-read stories for friends to see what we think.

My kiddo is the funniest girl I know. She's a just turned 4 years old and is a HUGE Lady Gaga fan. She has even gone so far as to come up with her own dance routine for the "Ra Ra" song (Bad Romance) as it's her favorite. She, like her dad, is into superheroes, Star Wars and Dungeons and Dragons and is a very independent chick. Unlike her dad she is into princesses so we can often be found wearing crowns and "princess" jewels while hanging out.

I love college basketball, namely the Kansas Jayhawks. I met the hub at University of Kansas and convinced him of the superiority of college bball enough that he now follows them more closely than I do! They are my first love sports-wise and I am actually watching them play right now. Instead of doing homework, which is me totally slacking!

My major is Interior Design and I graduate in less than 100 days, yay! I am a full-time student in an architecture based program so it can be pretty demanding. There have been many nights/mornings where I have gotten home from school just in time to head back out. It's something I love, but some days I just want to stay in bed and hide under the covers rather than get asked for the billionth time what my concept is! I get to play with frustrating programs like autocad and revit and 3dstudiomax which makes me crazy most days. Oh wait, I was probably crazy to start.

I like to read to historical fiction, chick lit and smut lately to offset the stress of school. One of my favorites is The Barefoot Girl, a story based on the life of St. Margaret. Its a short, simple but very moving book. With the hub having been a film major at one point, we used to watch a lot of foreign films. Now we watch a lot of kids movies though my daughter is HUGE Miyazaki fan which I am vary happy about!

As far as fic goes, I will read almost anything. Canon, AU, Bellasper, Slash, Wolf couples. Now, this doesn't mean I love everything I read but I will usually try almost anything. Some of my favorites are I Hate Myself for Loving You and Rite of Passage. These are fics I have reread millions of times (literally) and every time I love them even more! I absolutely LOVE Halo's Emmett and Rose. I think she translated their book characters into really interesting, well rounded and HOT characters. Plus she used Dan Carter as her Emmett and WOW. He is PERFECT! I really like the angst of Rite of Passage, its such a good emotional rollercoaster! And she worked music into the story in such a seamless way.

I have been so incredibly busy with school lately that my own writing hasn't really had time to happen. My friend Aly and I are writing The Highwayman and it takes me so long to get into the story that I just haven't had time. I have to build study models and draw perspectives and keep the bathroom clean and the fridge full. I don't HAVE to write, so it is usually the first thing to get scooted off my plate and to the side. I enjoy writing, always have, so I do plan on finishing the fic. We have the whole story line charted out and I want to write it, we just have to find the time. The minute cloning humans becomes legal I am so on it! There would probably be an update the same week, haha!

I have made some pretty amazing friends through all this fic business, people I will turn to when I have tough questions like whether nude pantyhose will look retarded with my dress and what kind of heels to wear with which outfit. Friends that get me signed up with fitness plans and make me try to go a whole week without sugar. Thanks BEKS! Friends that have flown all the way from a tiny island to go watch New Moon with me, someone I can complain about my nerd husband with and she totally understands. Thanks Rosana! And my rob-stalking, chola loving, dan carter finding friend, the one who I can always turn to when I need to mock Rob's pigeon-toed ungainliness and Kristen's perpetual bitch face. Thanks Halo! Without this trifecta of lovelies I would have probably been really lonely reading all this crazy fan fic.

And now that this sounds something suspiciously like an awards speech I figure its time to peace out. Thanks for my temporary Perv Status, it was lots of fun!

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Tune in next week to learn all about this months Honorary Pervs.

What's this whole "Honorary Perv" thing?

You might have noticed that the Shack has more bodies rubbing about since December? You might be wondering just what is going on? Well ladies and gents, it is with great delight that I tell you a wee bitty more about our newest members - our Honorary Perv's!

What is an Honorary Perv I hear you ask? Well, an Honorary Perv is an author or a reviewer in the fandom, that we think will add another layer to your favourite bunch of perv's! We all have our own tastes here at The Shack - but we know just like Ben & Jerry's that you dear pervlings enjoy variety and getting a taste of a new or different flavour. So every month, in addition to your regular favourite Perv's, you will get one or two different Honorary Perv's and all the deliciousness they can offer! They will be partaking in our round table recommendations and offering up their favourite lemony one-shots just like the regular pack girls. From this month they will also be joining in on our other fun like our recc's for our specialist teams - Wussperv, Slash and Anything Goes.

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Getting To Know Fiberkitty

I go by a lot of names. Miya, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mistress, Kitty, fiberkitty, and Mistress Boo Boo Kitty Fuck. Some of you probably have added a five letter word to that list, and that's fine with me.

I'm a full time mom to three beautiful girls. Hubby and I have a four year old and twin one year olds. They are the reason I cannot write as much as I'd like to. It is hard to spend more than ten minutes at my computer without someone needing my attention. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. They are my joy as well as my headache.

When I'm not playing with my children, I'm typically doing something “earthy-crunchy” as our girlfriend's mom calls us. My husband and I are polyamorous and we have had a triad relationship in the past. With the twins, it is difficult enough to find time for one another, let alone a third.

I'm a fiber artist in what little spare time I have from the girls and writing. I spin, weave, knit, crochet, and make two types of lace (tatting and bobbin-lace), three if you count crocheted lace. I spin on both wheel and spindle. I have two wheels, a Kromski Prelude and a Babe production double treadle. The Kromski is pictured below along with a bobbin of merino/colonial blended wool I spun this morning and then an altar cloth I spun and wove from Shetland (the primary color) and glass beaded silk (the pink accent).

Hubby and I also make soap from scratch- lye and oils mixed together outside far away from our cats and kids. We make our own bread a few times a week from grains purchased in bulk from a co-op and grind them in our grain mill. For the most part, we cloth diaper, and all that other fun stuff that many people have abandoned in favor of convenience.

What else is there about my real life? *thinks*We love cats, which makes sense as my patron goddess is Bast. We have 2 cats now; we used to have four but two passed on since November. I work part time for Specialty Purebred Cat Rescue, a non-profit cat rescue in the Midwest that takes in purebreds. Siamese, Himalayans, Bengals, Persians, Exotic Shorthairs, Ragdolls, Oriental Shorthairs, Burmese, Somalis, and more breeds come to our rescue instead of Humane Societies so that they can get more individualized care in our foster homes than they would in a shelter facility.

Fiberkitty as a writer. I guess I'm considered the non-canon writer of the group. I'm a die hard Bella/Jasper shipper after reading When Darkness Turns to Light and Nia-ox's Deadly Sins Trilogy.

My first fanfic, The Tie That Binds, is centered around Bella, Edward, and Jasper after the battle with the Volturi does not go as smoothly as it did in the canon books. Bella, Edward, and Jasper end up in a polyamorous relationship and Emmett with his singer.

Relief was another Bella and Jasper story, this one in the human genre. Edward is gay yet denies his feelings to stay with fiancée Bella as that is the “right thing to do” in his eyes. Bella is becoming frustrated by the lack of intimacy and best friend/ roommate Jasper offers her one night of relief after telling one small white lie. The lemons in chapters 1 and 2 were originally posted on literotica but I pulled them, changed the names, and posted as fanfic. Most of the lemons in this story I am happy to say are from my real life, minus the cheating aspect.

Lost and Found, another Bella/Jasper story, is about two young teens meeting, falling in love, and parting due to a mistake. Bella ends up pregnant after returning to Arizona and then returns to Forks three years later with her son, Heath. No one in Forks knows who the father is as Bella didn't share the nickname he'd given her. She ends up dating Edward and later discovers that his brother, Jasper, who is off at college, is Heath's father.

The Song Saga, an AU trilogy based around Bella and Jasper. This is a spin on Twilight where Bella is still Edward's singer but she falls in love with Jasper. Don't worry, Alice is with James so there is no cheating involved. The first part, She Sang The Wrong Song, is in Bella's POV and is complete. The second part from Jasper's POV, Song of My Heart, is in progress. Finishing it up will be Blood Song, Edward's POV. This entire saga was based off a sweet request from Cella Cullen asking me to write a story where Jasper was the single Cullen.

Dark Salvation... what can I say about it? This is the story that gave me the nickname Mistress Boo Boo Kitty Fuck from Kaia2008 and Miztrezboo. I'm co-writing it with mischief-maker1. While there are multiple depictions of D/S relationships, the story itself is not a D/S story. It is a darker themed novel going into the depths of the human soul. Jasper is a former FBI profiler working as a hospital psychologist who takes on Bella as his patient. She's there at the request of her physician and also to discuss the problems her husband is having and how they are influencing her life. Edward is a surgeon at the same hospital system as Jasper although they do not know each other except by name recognition. Edward, through an accident, loses a patient and is in a downward spiral of depression with suicidal thoughts. Jasper takes on Edward as his own patient and eventually as his sub. Graphic citrus interludes of many varieties. M/M, M/F, M/F/F, M/M/F, M/M/M... We're currently up to chapter thirty of probably forty two to fifty chapters.

My story recommendation. Gods. Do I have to pick just one? I already agreed to do Miami at Twilight because it is just fuckin' huge. It is a tale of epic proportions at just shy of 300,00 words in 62 chapters. Mischief-maker1 outdid herself in this story often known by the main character, “stripper-Bella.”

MaT is the continuation of Jamie's one-shot, Lick, where bartender Edward falls for one of the strippers. MaT chronicles their challenges in forging a strong relationship in the face of adversity. Given his family background, Bella doesn't feel good enough for him due to her occupation. He convinces her repeatedly that he loves her and wants only her. Edward, being Edward, fights his own jealous nature, most often to their mutual benefit. Here's a small preview.

It took me only an instant to flip over and climb on top of her, nibbling at her clavicle. “Oh Edward,” She breathed as I began my descent to her breasts, the peaks teasing me through the black lace.

“Yes?” I teased.

“More,” She begged.

“More what? You have to tell me love.” But I knew I was slowly driving her insane as I pulled the hem of the gown slowly up her legs. “What do you want baby?” I asked her as my hands slid under the fabric, gasping myself when I realized she wasn’t wearing underwear. That little minx. She knew what I wanted. She’ll pay for that…

“More of you,” She said breathily.

I smiled and pulled the gown up to her waist, taking in the view of my wonderful woman. Rose had talked her into a day at the spa since Alice still hadn’t been given her all-clear from the doctor, and Rose had also talked Bella into getting a Brazilian wax. Damn…my tongue was just itching to lap at her, my mouth was eager to taste her sweet nectar, but I wanted to hear what she wanted from me, so I waited.

I smiled again as she began to squirm. “What love? What do you want? Do you want me to touch you with my tongue? Do you want me to eat your pussy and lap at your juices? Bite your clit and fuck you with my tongue? Is that what you want?”

She writhed as my words assaulted her and she cried out, “Yes!”

I chuckled. “As you wish,” Before I dove into her.

For those of you who want a more aggressive Bella, I highly recommend the chapter, Control, which was deleted by fanfiction the first time around but mm1 put it back up after the story was completed.

“W-what the hell was that?” He asked.

I blushed as I untied the blindfold from his beautiful eyes. “It was candle wax.”

“Fuck me…shit. Holy hell and damn…”

I bit my lip as I began to untie him. “D-did you like it?” I asked meekly. The badass had retreated, and insecure Bella was inching her way back in.

He looked up at me and as soon as I had his right arm free, he brought his hand to my cheek and brushed it gently. “I loved it and I love you.”

I didn’t even realize I had tears in my eyes until one spilled over. “I love you more than life itself Edward. I would love to move in with you.”

He grinned and said, “Good.”

I don't think there are enough good things I can say about this story. I'm not a big Bella/Edward fan but I would recommend this even if it wasn't the story that introduced mm1 to me. We bonded over Alice pumping breastmilk for Jackson (the son she and Jasper have) so that she could go out for the evening. So to a story that spawned an amazing online friendship, requires several changes of panties, a box of batteries for your favorite toy, and has earned nearly 5,800 reviews- I give this four paws up. Yes, that means that fiberkitty is on her back. Take that (or me) as you will.

Once you've finished reading Miami at Twilight, I suggest you check out Jamie's other stories.

You Wanted More is post-Breaking Dawn. Rosalie decides she wants a baby. What happens when the human is someone called a Soul Seeker who has been looking for a vamp to change her? Will things go back to normal once the baby is born? Or will a new prophecy be revealed?

Bloody Sexy Boys (Think Backstreet Boys but sexier) When Emmett and Jasper leave for Nashville to become singers, they never imagined they'd meet up with Edward, Jake and Carlisle, thus, creating the band, Breakdown. Join them as they go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and back.

To Walk a Mile in My Shoes and Preggers and Proud: Freaky Friday meets all-human Twilight. Mile is a switch made between Rosalie and Emmett and PnP is between Alice and Jasper. These are great stories for discovering the depths of appreciation the couples have for one another. You can never understand what your spouse goes through until you walk a mile in his or her shoes.

There are more, a ton more, including the one-shot series we co-author, The Adventures of Alice and Emmett, which you can find on our profiles.