Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 11-23-11

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER:The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

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Since today is Thanksgiving, it is only right that Naughty Nurse Kimpy should list a few of the things she’s thankful for this year.

Thank you to Susan B. Anthony and the hordes of women who fought so hard to give women the right to vote;

Thank you to Margaret Sanger and the women who followed in her footsteps who championed the importance of birth control;

Thank you to all the women who tried to get the ERA passed in the ‘70s. Even though their efforts were unsuccessful, they made it possible for women to knock on that glass ceiling. Today, many of us have a choice of whether to have a career, or be stay at home moms--a choice our mothers and grandmothers never really had.

Most of all, thank you to all of you, the women who read this blog. This fandom is full of so many strong, intelligent women who challenge me to be my best every day. I’m eternally grateful.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy ran across something interesting this week, so naturally, she needs to share it with you. It helps to explain why so many women have difficulty achieving an orgasm through penetration alone. It’s called The Rule of Thumb. If the distance between your clit and the vaginal opening is less than 2.5 cm (approximately the length from the tip of the thumb to the first knuckle), it’s easier for you to achieve orgasms during sexual penetration. If the distance is more than that, it becomes more difficult to get that O-face place. On an aside, it also means that if you have a partner with hands like Rob Pattinson, don’t use his thumb as a means of measurement. Just saying. *giggles*

can your breasts/nipples lose sensitivity from being squeezed too hard or stimulated too often?

Good question! In general, no, you can squeeze away at your nipples and they’ll be just as reactive as always. There are ways to lose nipple sensitivity, though, that you should be aware of. Women who get breast implants and women who pierce their nipples can be at risk for losing sensitivity after the procedures. Now, Nurse Kimpy isn’t telling you not to get your nipples pierced (god forbid), and many women will report that the piercings heighten their sensation. For some women, however, they permanently lose some sensation with those procedures. Be aware that they are a possible side effect.

I understand that ovulation can make a female more aroused for sex, considering that hormones rule our body. I'm most definitely a victim of this circumstance every month. I guess my husband is actually the victim (albeit a very willing one). But we've both noticed that his body odor spikes during the time of my ovulation. (without change to his daily routine) So, since I'm basically "in heat".......what's going on with him? Is he "in rut"? It's happened enough to be more than a coincidence. Ever heard of this?

OMG I LOVE MY READERS. Seriously, I can't emphasize that enough. You people are simply wonderful! How awesome is it that you take my silly missive on hormones and think about it in terms of your own human sexual behavior? Mr. Kimpy gets a little worried sometimes, because I'm frequently running around the house squeeing over reader questions. Trufax. Trust.

Okay, I will set my adulation aside for a moment to consider your question about the male version of being run by horny hormones. Now, the human body can do all kinds of amazing, remarkable things when it comes to responsiveness between the sexes. The uterus, for example, can actually move its position in response to the release of semen (due to the detection of testosterone)--it does this to facilitate conception. The movements are so slight that you don't notice them, but it's one of the small ways we achieve successful fertilization. And what, pray tell, is responsible for these movements? You guessed it.

HORMONES.

The specific chemicals that come into play for sexual attraction and arousal are known as pheromones. Pheromones are incredible. Without even saying a word, partners can size one another up and determine things like sexual desire, level of arousal, or fertility. Without even engaging our conscious brains, we already know the answers to those unasked questions. Pheromones can act like mini matchmakers to attract the opposite sex.

In general, women have a keener sense of smell than do men. Curiously, when it comes to sexual arousal, gay men have a sense of smell on par with straight women. Lesbians tended to have a more muted response than do straight women.

A study was done where straight men were given t-shirts worn by women who were either on the pill, or women whose cycles were regular and not otherwise controlled. The men had to rate the sexual attractiveness of the smells, and every time, they chose the t-shirts that had been worn by women who were ovulating. So, when Naughty Nurse Kimpy stomps her tiny foot to state emphatically that sex is a biologic imperative? This is what she means.

While men in general don’t react to female ovulation with their own cyclical pheromone release, as in rutting, what is most likely happening is that your husband is reacting to your ovulation-specific scent with a like scent of his own, created just for you, to make you just as aroused as you make him. I mean, how cool is that? You’re totally in-sync pheromonically (NNK thinks she just coined a new word there). Go, you! *fist pump for those rockin’ pheromones*

hi, so i was reading the question about kissing, and i wanted to ask a bit more about it. I'm really severely tongue-tied, like the thingy under my tongue goes from the tip of my tongue to where my teeth start on the bottom of my mouth. i haven't had much experience with kissing, but what experience i have had has been a bit strange and, well, hasn't worked out that well. Do you think i should get it cut? or do you have some other advice for kissing, and, hem, naughty things?

OOOH, this is really a tough one. Naughty Nurse Kimpy typically feels squicked out about telling women to modify their bodies. Unless it’s something that is truly needed, like when women have microperforate hymens, her response is to leave things as they are. Being tongue-tied, though, can cause issues for you not only sexually, but in daily life, when it comes to things like speaking. She suggests that you consult with your primary physician about this issue, to see what they recommend. It’s okay for you to address your concern about kissing (you certainly don’t need to elaborate on specifics--just talk in generalities), and to see if perhaps it makes sense to have surgery. However, NNK wants to emphasize that if you choose to stay as you are, there’s nothing wrong with that, and any guy who wants to be with you needs to accept that. If they cannot? Then that partner isn’t the right one for you. Good luck and please let me know how it goes for you.

I've recently become sexually active in the last year, only having sex about 5 times. But it's really painful for me? Is this a serious problem and are there ways to lessen the pain?

Naughty Nurse Kimpy is very sorry for the discomfort you feel when you have sex. That goes against her mantra of “fun” sex. Never fear, dear reader, there are some suggestions that might just help infuse that fun into sex for you--so let’s give it a go, shall we?

The first thing to address is the issue of lubrication. Perhaps you aren’t wet enough when you have sex to eliminate the friction that can cause you discomfort. Trust, this isn’t a critique of your ability to get sexually aroused; you might just be someone who needs more lubrication than less. Try using a long-lasting, water-based lube like KY Intrigue, Astroglide, or Pjur Woman Bodyglide.

If lube alone doesn’t solve the problem, there’s also a possibility that your partner’s peen girth is too wide. Yes, that is a genuine problem, trust me. It’s actually the penis’ girth, not length, that can cause pain during sex. If girth is indeed an issue, the good news is that using lots of lube and having regular sex will gradually allow you to stretch to a point where sex isn’t painful anymore. It also helps to be very wound up, or sexually aroused, before you move to penetration. That ensures that you’re physically ready to accommodate whatever your partner shoves your way. Literally.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy also recommends that you pay a visit to your gynecologist. They can take a look at your cooter to see if there aren’t structural issues that might be causing your physical discomfort. For example, it could be that you have a stubborn hymen that didn’t fully tear the first time you had sex. You could also have an inverted uterus, which can cause some sexual positions to be really uncomfortable. It’s possible that your partner hits your ovaries while he’s thrusting, and you might have a cyst that causing the pain. It’s always a good idea to rule out anything physical as you’re problem solving.

Give these things a try, and please follow up to let me know if they do, or do not, work. We can always brainstorm more solutions for you.

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Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER:
The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

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I don't know if this is really a question that can be addressed on this blog but I am actually looking for some advice on something that disturbed me beyond words yesterday. I am almost 35 and I have been reading ff for just under a year. I have been on twitter for about 7 months. I am not ashamed that twitter led me to some tumblr accounts and we all know what is on tumblr... besides RP. Well I sometimes jump around looking for a new account that I might like with pictures that I haven't already seen a dozen times and I somehow stumbled upon a tumblr with very young girls on it. I admit I am a terrible judge of age. I've seen 14 year olds that look 20 and 21 year olds that look like they are 14. If I see couples that are a little young for my taste I leave the archive but this site was clearly child pornography and I wanted to puke. I left the site immediately. Deleted my history. Purged my cache. Deleted cookies and was disturbed for the rest of the night. I guess I was naive and it never crossed my mind that I would stumble upon this stuff. I want to report the tumblr account and I have no idea how. I wanted to ask if anyone at the PPSS has ever been in this situation when perusing through tumblr porn. I feel sick. Although I only saw thumbnails for less than 30 seconds, these girls were clearly preteen and under... way under. I think I might be staying away from Tumblr permanently because I never want to experience that feeling again. Thanks for any advice you can give. Sending you a twitter message so you know who this is from.

Since you and I communicated directly regarding this issue, and you gave me your consent, I shared your experience with other Pervs to see if they had any advice or suggestions to offer; although you gave me clearance to use your name, I opted to keep it confidential.

Here is the basic contact information in order to report the tumblr you found:

Tumblr: Violation of our Content Policy, please pass the URL on to support@tumblr.com.
In general, most of the Pervs are very careful in the tumblrs they choose to visit. Rarely do they drill down to look at other tumblrs where the image might have come from.

Here are some additional resources:

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

The FBI's site for crimes relating to Child Exploitation

For international readers, The Internet Watch Foundation

Thank you for turning your disturbing experience into a lesson that we can all learn from; I'm really sorry you stumbled upon something you definitely weren't looking for. It serves as a reminder to us all that even though our online viewing habits may be passive and well intentioned by nature, not everything we run across will be equally as innocent.

I'm interested in something from the last post. Attraction, pheromones, and scents. My mom & dad fell in love young. My dad had sinus issues about 10 years ago and when he went in for a routine procedure the Dr. nicked his brain, didn't tell him, he ended up having an 8 hour brain surgery and grafts put in his sinuses and a whole bunch of other things. It was intense. He hasn't been the same since.
More on topic though, he lost his sense of smell. Only in certain areas (mostly by the beach, and even then he has to keep his mouth open to help assist in getting the smell). Would that effect him romantically since he can no longer smell? What if someone never had a sense of smell?

I'm so sorry that your dad's simple operation turned into brain surgery, with some significant consequences. While we would love to say that all medical procedures are risk free, that simply isn't the case, as your dad's experience proves. Give him a nursie hug on my behalf, okay?

If this had happened to your dad when he was younger, before he met your mom, it could have had an impact on his romantic connections. I'm not saying it would have made him fall in love with a dramatically different person. It's more like a blind person adapting to the world without being able to see. They still experience a full life despite the fact that their experience is different from ours. The same can be said for a person who never had a sense of smell--they don't know what they're missing, because they have never known what it was in the first place. Their attraction to partners is likely fueled by other sources of attraction.

There are a lot of different factors that comprise our attraction to a specific person. While individuals do have a specific scent that is uniquely their own, think about all the reasons you yourself fall in love with a person. It's more about their physical being, looks, personality, habits, likes and dislikes--the individual as a whole--that makes us interested in them. Someone could smell like fresh chocolate chip cookies but still be the wrong person for you in the end. We tend to fall in love with the sum total of an individual, not any one character attribute. Thus, we not only love how they smell, but we also appreciate their sense of humor, the shape of their body, the tenor of their mind.

I suspect that for your father, while his sense of smell is altered, it isn't going to affect his attraction or connection to your mom. That relationship is well-established, and they are likely attached to one another in more ways than just via scent. While there are elements of attraction that deal with involuntary responses, such as sense of smell or hormone levels, remember that there are also voluntary responses to another individual. None of those other elements of attraction changed for your dad, just his sense of smell.

I feel like a complete harlot for asking this, but do I have any reason to concern about a recent hook up of mine? He was essentially rubbing his penis against my clitoris, but he wasn't wearing a condom. I was on my period though, so I'm wondering if I should have any reason to be concerned. He didn't orgasm, and neither did I, but I'm just kind of worried now.

God forbid that Naughty Nurse Kimpy should refer to anyone as a harlot... such words don't belong here, just so you know. You raise a very good question though, one that we can probably all benefit from.

There are two issues that need to be addressed: Safe sex (STD risk) and risk of pregnancy.

Did you have safe sex? In a word, NO. Unless you've seen your partner's STD test results, and have also tested clean yourself, you are at theoretically at risk for contracting some type of sexually transmitted disease. Remember, both herpes and HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) are transmitted via skin surface contact alone. For other STDs, like chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV, infected bodily fluids need to come into contact with the surface of your skin or genitals.

Is there a risk of pregnancy? Technically, yes. A sexually aroused penis came in contact with your vaginal area. There are sperm present in pre-come, so there is a chance that sperm could have reached the opening of your vagina. Based on that information, how likely are you to be at risk for pregnancy? Your risk is very small, for the reasons you mentioned: You were on your period and he didn't ejaculate. Remember, though, there is still a chance to become pregnant while you are having your period, so that doesn't mean you can feel safe having unprotected sex during that time.

The bottom line? If you don't want to become pregnant, always use protection. If you don't want an STD, always use a condom. In the immortal words of my high school English teacher: "Celibates don't get STDs." In other words, the only way to be 100% safe from both is to abstain from having sex altogether.

I recommend that you follow up with your gynecologist to get tested for prenancy and/or STDs if you are still concerned. And while you're there, maybe discuss highly effective birth control options that will leave you feeling more secure should such a situation arise again.

I've always been curious about something. When a woman has sex for the first time and the hymen is broken, is it gone completely or just something that's...well flapping in the wind?

You might be surprised to learn how many questions I get about hymens. I continue to be amazed that such a small piece of skin can be the cause of so much ire and anxiety!

When the hymen is intact (i.e., you are still a virgin), it partially covers the entrance to your cooter. As you already know, it is torn or broken when an object large enough in thickness passes into the vaginal opening. Before you all start snickering, it doesn't necessarily have to be a penis--it could be several fingers penetrating that area, or a tampon, or some other kind of accidental trauma. Once it is torn, it is usually accompanied by some bleeding, but the amount of blood depends upon the individual and the thickness of the hymen.

There is a flap of skin located in your mouth, above your two front teeth, that is attached between your gums and your upper lip. This piece of skin is called the internal labial frenulum. (Don't laugh--that's the real name and it is in the mouth, I assure you!). This small flap of skin is similar to the hymen. If you were to accidentally slice it, it would merely free the gum from the lip. No hanging bit skin flapping in the wind. If you can picture that skin flap getting torn apart, you have the image of what happens to the hymen. Once the hymen has been torn, it heals into two separate flaps of skin, one on either side of your vaginal entrance. It stretches over time, and after childbirth, so that the vaginal opening loosens up. Hence, the term "tight" for a woman who hasn't had many sexual encounters.