Team Anything Goes: First Person, Present by AccioBourbon

The Team Anything Goes Pick is...

Title: First Person, Present
Author: AccioBourbon
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,211
Reviews: 265
Summary: Peter and Bella prepare to leave for college, but the most important lessons about life aren't taught in a classroom. A story about getting out from under the expectations of others and learning to rescue *yourself.* An FGB story for Team Peterella.

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Teal - These characters originated in AccioBourbon’s collection of prompts from The Twilight Twenty-Five, titled Jumping into the Deep End. You can find the development of Peter and Bella’s relationship in chapters 7-10, 12, 14-15, 17, and 21.

Peter was so easy to fall in love with that a group of us banded together in Fandom Gives Back: Eclipse to bid for more. The result was First Person Present, which is now complete.

If you’d like to enjoy even more of this sweet Peter, AccioBourbon didn’t stop there. Oh The Weather Outside is Frightful is a fun Christmas side-shot from the Who’s Under Your Tree? Contest. The Past, Discounted gives a glimpse of Peter’s first run in with Bella’s ex. Last but not least, Chelsea Morning is a glimpse at the story behind Peter’s graduation gift to Bella.

Now, let’s talk about why we love this story so much!

First of all, it should be obvious: Peter. I just love him. I love that AccioBourbon imagines him with the same pretty face and gorgeous blue eyes that I do because, really, it’s hard not to fall for that kind of hottness! Add in a confident, creative, fun personality, and he’s a dreamboat. Yeah, I said dreamboat. Read this fic and try to tell me otherwise! What’s so special about Peter is the way being with Bella brings out the best parts of him, making him even better than he was before they met.

The last year had been the best one of my life. When I got back to Forks after sophomore year, I found a bartending job that paid well enough to feed me and keep a roof over my head. It left me plenty of time to write, and I even got back into surfing again. The idea for a story came to me one day while I was driving out to La Push with Jasper. I almost killed myself in the surf, distracted by images and pieces of dialogue. I rushed back to my apartment, opened my laptop, and the words poured out of me. It was a heady rush, like hitting an oil pocket, your whole body suddenly dripping with that elusive stuff you're always terrified you'll never find again.

I wrote for eight hours straight. The output of a well-fed soul, Bella said.

Bella. Somehow, having her in my life now, and they way I feel about her - it's all become tied up in the writing and the direction in which my life seems to be turning. She hated being called my muse, and truthfully, that's not what she's been for me. She's more like my touchstone, a counterweight for my tendency to sink too far into my own head. And when I get a little lost, she's Polaris.

While these two have a very sweet, romantic relationship developing, it’s not all cutesie rainbows and puppy dogs. Like any good Peter, he has an irresistible magnetism.

Peter and I exchange a long look when I get up to leave. When he tilts his head down slightly and gives me that focused, intense stare, with just the barest hint of a dirty smile, it goes straight to that area just south of my lower belly. I want to cross my legs and squeeze my thighs together in an effort to contain all of that attraction I still feel for him. It's every bit as strong as the night I met him, the night I handed him the shards of my heart and said "Here, make me feel again."

I feel you there, Bella!

Of course, let’s not forget that this boy has a naughty side. (Prepare to get a little hot here!)

Bella's face colors, but she leans down for a soft kiss, leaving her fingers against my lips. "I love you, and every single thing that comes out of that mouth of yours, you ridiculous, romantic fool."

"Yeah? What about this," I ask, pulling her forward on her knees as I slide down until my head is between them. I hold her hips in place as she leans on the headboard for balance.

"Oh, god, that too," she says, all breathy sighs as I trail my lips across the inside of her thigh.

I recall the mirror on the headboard. "Can you see yourself right now, baby?"
"Yes."

"I'm jealous. Watch for both of us, then."

/ded

You and I both know we would be helpless against that kind of dirty, sexy charm, so we can’t really blame Bella for falling in love with this one, now can we?

Of course, no story is without obstacles (at least not a good story), and as head-over-heels as Peter and Bella are in love, their easygoing relationship is faced with changes. Namely, Peter’s one year sabbatical from college ends just as Bella prepares to embark on her brand new college career. Though they won’t be struggling through a cross-continental long distance torture, Chicago to Philadelphia isn’t much better, a fact that becomes quite evident immediately. Ups and downs occur, both in their schools lives and their relationships, but I love that they always realize when they’re building walls between each other and take the opportunity to remember how much they love on another. And when it really matters, the desperation and need in their intimate moments reveals their hearts.

I have him now, exactly where I needed him: between my thighs, under me, surrounding me. I bear down on him, my weight on my knees, and we go on from there – moving faster, gasping breaths, little cries into each other's mouths: curses, pleas, declarations of love.

Every single word of this fic is gorgeous. Filled with love, progress, growing up and finding their own, and falling even more in love, this is a story for the romantics out there. If you’ve never read a Peter/Bella story, I promise you that this is the perfect place to start.

Guest Reviewer Kassiah - If you know me at all, you know that I pretty much only ever ship EdwardxBella. But there’s something about this Peter that gets me hot and bothered in a way that I never expected to. He makes me swoon. A lot.

I was pretty much hooked from the first moment that I discovered him in AccioBourbon’s
Twilight Twenty-Five, where Peter meets Bella at a party and they get. it. on. First Person, Present picks up at Bella’s graduation, where he’s thinking about the questions her mom might ask him:

Is it serious?

Oh, yes. Very.

Are you having sex with my daughter?

Affirmative. Mind-blowing, life-changing, all-consuming…sex with your daughter.

Will you break her heart like Edward Cullen did?

I'd sooner die.

Yep, that’s right, ladies. Kass--wussperv extraordinaire--read and loved a fic in which Edward broke Bella’s heart.

Peter is so grown-up while still being vulnerable. Bella is his perfect match, and I love the way they compliment each other. They have issues, but they work through them (or get around them) together:

Peter leans on the bar with an elbow and crooks his finger at me, as if to pull me in and share a secret. Into my ear he says, "What time does Charlie leave in the morning for his shift?"

His low tone makes me shiver, and I close my eyes. "About quarter to seven," I answer. I really want to grab his hair and yank his mouth to mine but half the bar is probably watching us.

"Leave the front door unlocked," he says, and all I can do is nod now, because I'm not breathing anymore.

He presses his lips to my ear again. "Goodnight."

It's just one word, but it Peter says it like it means other things, too. I want you. And I'll show you how much.

Gah. I just can’t explain what it is exactly about these two. I just love them. This story is complete, and amazing. And I hope you’ll read it right away.

Jen - I’d never really thought about pairing Bella and Peter until I read AccioBourbon’s Twilight 25 entry about Bella meeting Peter at a party. She wrote several Twi 25 entries about this Peter and Bella, a few one-shots, and then for a team of FGB: Eclipse bidders she wrote more of their future in First Person, Present.

This Peter might just be my very favorite fic guy ever. I’m swooning just reminiscing about reading First Person, Present. He’s handsome, romantic, excellent with the parents, and so, so sweet with words. As they say about Mary Poppins- he’s practically perfect in every way. I have a feeling this post will break all records for the number of occurrences of the word swoon and its derivatives, all because of Peter.

One of the things I love most about AccioBourbon’s writing is that her characters are real. Real people in realistic situations. (This is me begrudgingly admitting that Peter might actually have a flaw or two.) Bella’s mature, if not yet truly a grown-up, as you’d expect for a college freshman. She’s bright, responsible, and introspective enough to learn from her past yet not enough to become a neurotic mess. Some girls with an older boyfriend might cede some or all decision making to the boy. Bella does not, and I think that having an older boyfriend suits her personality. It’s a very equal relationship, although of course they have some struggles. Instead of being hemmed in by having a long-distance boyfriend, I think it elevates Bella. She seems more driven to get the most out of her college experience. She’s not hiding away until they can be together again and she’s not necessarily following the path Peter might suggest she take. She’s just out there and giving it her all, opening herself up to new experiences and even perhaps failure.

Together, they’re just adorable. Peter is awed by her in many ways and his adoration is clear. They have wonderful banter, and Peter really does say the most beautiful, sweet things. After her awful break up with Edward, Peter’s been a real boost to her confidence, and I love that this Bella owns her developing sexuality.

"I'm a lucky girl, you know." I grind against him, holding onto his shoulders.

"Why's that?"

"Because my boyfriend likes me on top."

One side of his mouth curves up. "No, your boyfriend loves you on top," he says. "As well as underneath, up against the wall, and bent over the back of the sofa, and…Jesus, Bella, that feels incredible. Please, before you kill me…"

I lift up slightly and reach for him, taking his hardness into my hand to guide him inside. His hands settle again on my hips and he lowers me down onto him slowly. "God, you feel good," he groans, and I do the same.

"You mention religion a lot during sex."

"That's because I'm so close to heaven when you're on top of me like this," he shoots back, still a fast draw with the words. "Plus, my hands are free to do this." He works one of my nipples between his fingers. "And this…" he adds, as he uses his other hand to pull my head down, so he can bury his tongue in my mouth.

"Now move," he whispers, and I do. As I work faster over him, I feel myself take an early lead. The sensations, the pressure against my clit as I come back down on him pushes me to want more, always more. But when I look back for Peter, to find where he is, I slow my pace.

He smiles, his eyes half closed. "I'm praying right now, as a matter of fact."

"About what?" I manage to ask, before giving way to a low moan from the intense sensation.

"About how unbelievably sexy you look up there. And how much I love you."

Aside from the fact that Bella and Edward never had sex, this is not what sex between Edward and Bella would have been like. I think Peter showed Bella the possibility of who she could be, and I don’t just mean that sexually. His utter faith in her helps her take flight.

Here’s a gorgeous exchange from the same chapter.

"Why pearls? I mean, I love them, and I wish I didn't ever have to take them off, but I am curious."

Peter rests his warm palm against my throat. "I think they're classic, and understated, and I thought they would look perfect around this gorgeous neck."

I thank him again with another kiss.

"And I think it's fascinating," he continues, "the way that pearls are made: hidden away, forming slowly over time, until someone opens the shell and there it is, beautiful and completely unique."

I work my arms under his shoulders and hold him to me tightly, my throat suddenly too closed to speak.

How will I ever make it, being apart from this man who has the heart and soul of a poet, and the mouth and hands of a magician?

Every word AccioBourbon writes is wonderful--if you haven’t read her Emmett/Rosalie story, Inconceivable, you really need to. First Person, Present is so special, because, imo, she owns this pairing. There’s so much gorgeousness and richness to this story, I really hope you’ll give it a read.

Jess - I am officially in love with Peterella. Like epic, swoony, sweep me off my feet in love with Peterella. Before I started First Person, Present, I read through all the Twilight Twenty-Five entries (see exact chapters above) that pertained to Peter and Bella. I’m glad I did, although they aren’t necessary to understanding or reading this story. They provide just enough back story to seriously hook you, and that made reading First Person, Present all the more amazing... which then led to me devouring EVERYTHING AccioBourbon had written about them. I think my love in this epically long intro is pretty clear. So, why? Why the love for these two?!

First, Bella. At eighteen, she is just on the heels of a crappy break up with Edward and is slowly trying to figure out how to be herself. It’s rough and ends... or should I say begins with a chance run-in with Peter. One thing leads to another and they hook up at a party. And I say it begins with Peter, because it’s not just some random hook up. It’s SO much more. The scene where that all goes down pretty much sealed the deal for me.

Together, these two work through Bella’s heartbreak, become dear friends, lovers, and learn to navigate through the choppy waters of past baggage and a long distance relationship. It sounds angsty, but it really wasn’t. It was real, and AccioBourbon doesn’t minimize the very real challenges that a first year college student and an older boyfriend, also away at college, have to face. This level of reality and depth was absolutely perfect and really made this story zing for me.

Bella is mature, a trait I don’t often feel comes across in most stories. When things finally come to a head, I love that Bella chooses the difficult but right path for her... and that means the right path for them.

Second, Peter, as Jen mentioned is practically perfect in every way. Not literally, of course, but he is just so, so good. He’s sexy as hell - black hair, piercing blue eyes, and a cute little chin dimple. Seriously, I’m swooning all over again.

Peter is an only child, just like Bella, and is burdened by the heavy weight of parental expectations. Stuck in a major he hates, trapped in the snare of his father’s control, and desperately seeking a way to be himself and the writer he really wants to be, he loses himself in Bella. He throws himself into loving her, and in doing so, finds himself. That journey doesn’t come without cost, as he - they - stumble along the way, but it’s in the day to day that their love flourishes.

At one point, after a very heavy first semester apart and rough couple of interactions - both with Bella and his father - Peter makes the long trek from Philly to Chicago and surprises Bella. That moment - the entire weekend, really - left me breathless. Full of revelations that are often left unstated with distance, they spill everything that has come between them. It’s so cathartic, and you can literally feel the distance between them closing.

Straightening, I shrug out of my coat and toss it on the bed. Before I take the other chair next to her, I lean in very close, until I can see my reflection in her brown eyes. "I just really, really need to do something first," I whisper.

"You'd better," she answers. There's a smile at one corner of her mouth, so that's where I begin. I kiss her there, and then move to the other corner, and then trap her bottom lip before sliding into home. She had orange spice tea while I was gone. It's a fascinating contradiction, kissing her: thrilling and always new, yet still as familiar as the house you grew up in.

I’m squealing inside just thinking about that scene. And of course, with all that swoon, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give you just a taste - a teeny tiny taste - of them loving each other. It’s fun and hot and intense and perfect. It’s just... them!

And then I groan out loud because there are... No. Panties. Underneath. "All day, like this?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"Yep. You're out walking around the city, and I'm sitting here waiting, commando."

I shake my head at the unbearable sadness. So much wasted time.

Better make up for it.

Pulling her to a sitting position, I order: "Off with that," and she lifts her tee shirt over her head with exaggerated slowness, and there, underneath - fuck yes - is that strapless satin bra. "God," I breathe, "I love your little sentimental streak."

I caress the satin cups with my fingers, drag my thumbs along the band, making her squirm. "Well, are you going to, or should I – "

"Shush." I open the front clasp and the satin falls away, leaving ivory satin-skin underneath. "Oh, hello, girls. I've missed you so. Come to Peter."

Trust me girls, when I say there is plenty more where that came from. If you aren’t sure about Peterella, promise me you’ll read this. If you aren’t swooning by the end... well, I have no doubt you will. I mean... seriously, aren’t you already?

And to AccioBourbon, sweet girl, what is it going to take to get just a wee look at these two in the future? I’m like an addict for these two, and I’m desperate for another fix. Love. Love. Love.

Chele - I admit it freely: I’m a bit of a slut for Peter. While other girls swoon for Jasper and his emotive-soldier characterization, deep down, I know, that without Peter taking a stand against Maria’s practice with the newborns to save his love and forcing Jasper to look deeper into what he had become, the Jasper we all know and love would not exist. Further, without Peter coming back to pull him from the army and show him the promise of a new life, Jasper wouldn’t have allowed himself to exist at all. Peter is a hero.

I must also admit, however, that before I read AccioBourbon’s original Jumping into the Deep End, which introduced me to Peter as this smooth, forthright, dirty talking, red-hot piece of man, I had never really considered him much at all. That’s right, this Peter is the one that launched my love for Peters everywhere. He’s that good.

What I find brilliant, is that the things that I have come to love about Peter in canon, are all here in this AU world. He is loyal but selfish enough to break from the pressure of his peers when he feels something is important. He’s not afraid to do what he feels is right, especially when it comes to the girl that he loves.

First Person, Present captures that time of life at the precipice of adulthood and responsibility when anything is possible, but that possibility is all so overwhelming that it’s hard to see what a carefree time it should have been until you’re through it. It explores the idea of finding “the one” before really knowing any others, and the difficulty of keeping that faith in the face of separation and adversity.

It’s so very real, and the characters are only made more perfect by their flaws and willingness to keep finding their ways to each other, despite them. Reading this fic is like hearing a love story about your hot best friend and her amazingly sexy husband. You feel intimately close to them, and invested in what happens to them. If you love a good romance, which is as heavy on the erotic romance as it is on the plot, you need to be reading this now.

Team Angst: Echoes of Love by Pavarti

Team Angst is a constantly changing team, depending on who can handle the angst levels of the Team Angst pick. Only the bravest (or craziest) Pervs tackle the tears and pain to bring you the best angst and heartfail that fan fic has to offer. Non-canon pairings? No problem. Cheating and Break-ups? No sweat. Character death? Bring it! It’s all in a days work for Team Angst. So if you think you’re tough enough put on your big girl pants, take a seat and join us for the Team Angst Pick.

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The Team Angst Pick is...

Title: Echoes of Love
Author: Pavarti
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,534
Reviews: 132
Summary: J/B The Morning After...AH

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Jess - It has taken a long time for me to find a special place in my heart for Jacob. It’s not that I didn’t like him in Twilight. I did. In fact, he was actually the perfect opposite to Edward and with that comes lots of really warm, special characteristics. With that said, however, I still find myself shying away from most Bella/Jacob stories. There’s really no good reason for it, so, when Jen mentioned this story, I decided it was time to give something new a try. I’m so glad I did.

Echoes of Love is uniquely written, in that it’s in second person present tense. I can’t say I’ve read many, and this perspective made me feel like I was deeply inside Bella’s mind. It was like I was with her as she was walking around living through the very sad and messed up situation in which she finds herself.

To be honest, it’s hard to say a lot about this story without giving it away. In short, Bella lives with one man (someone whom we’ll leave unnamed at this point, because I was somewhat shocked when it finally came out. I liked that about it.) and is having an affair with Jacob. It sounds simple right? Except it’s not, because there is A LOT of history between Bella and Jacob... and from chapter one, you will be DYING to know what it is.

I won’t comment on whether Edward is or is not and what role he may or may not play in this story, but suffice it to say, it will leave you questioning and wondering how our pasts can really shape and define who we are and how we behave.

I mentioned above how intense it was being in Bella’s mind. Here’s just a little excerpt to give you a taste:

I breathe you in, the smell in your small room filled with last night's passion. I know as surely as my heart beats that I should go, but I don't know if I can take it. How then do I expect this to end? I don't know if I can mask my feelings enough from you...from him...from myself.

Here you are, open and alive, the past forgotten or washed away with the landslide of time and I am sliced in half. I should tell you all of the things I have done since we last spoke. I should tell you of the life I've led, but when you asked last night, I merely smiled and told you truths that did not convey the whole story. I never lied to you. I never will.

Always there was a shadow across my heart that was shaped like you. Always there was a voice in the back of my mind calling to me that sounded like you.

This first look comes right at the beginning of chapter one and immediately sets the tone for how this story will go. You can hear and feel the anguish in her thoughts as she struggles with whatever heavy burden she bears. It’s heart breaking to watch Bella navigate through some very self-deprecating thoughts. Over and over we hear her refer to her just having to live with her choices, to bear the consequences of some event that literally has defined her entire life and the nature of every relationship she has. The full story is just now beginning to come out, and it’s truly heartbreaking.

Things between Jacob and Bella - I’m not even gonna lie - are straight up hot and intense. Their little trysts - really they’re more than that, but for simplicity I’m going with it - occur when she is teaching week long classes in Seattle (she lives in LA). I love how tender and sweet, despite the situation in which they find themselves, they can be with each other.

I remove my bra as you watch. The first time I came here our passion was desperate and frantic. My clothes had been scattered all over your room and our moment had been stolen. We hadn't spoken about love or what any of this meant in the silent hours we had together. When it was over, my heart grew cold and I couldn't bear another moment of my disgrace.

Tonight, though, I remember loving you; I remember feeling alive. As I unbutton my jeans, I open my heart to you and while it hurts me to share the depth of my confusion, I reach out to you. Your lips kiss the girl I wish I was. I wind my arms under your arms and up your back. Slowly you kiss me, your tongue dancing with mine to the rhythm of a song unsung.

I have convinced myself that I'll never find real love, but locked in my heart is a hope that rips me apart and breaks me down. We walk to the bed, the perfectly made bed with hospital corners and taunt sheets. You lower me down, hovering over my body. You lean on one arm and allow your hand to roam over my body. Slowly you graze your fingers over my skin while your kisses make promises you can never keep.

I sink back into the pillows, watching your face as you look over my body. Your eyes leave waves of heat on my skin, bringing my temperature to a boil. Your fingers linger on my hip before your hand relaxes against my skin. The feeling of your palm flat against my stomach makes me quiver. My jeans are still on and I move myself up higher on the bed, wishing your hand would move lower.

Instead you bring your face down to mine and you kiss me softly. The sweetness of the moment makes me swell and rise to you. I pull on your body to bring my skin to yours. Your chest against my breasts is warm. Pulling you down with me I try to bring you against my body.

I love this, because it really shows the depth of emotion and love between these two. There is SO much going on, so much history and time apart and terrible life choices that have brought them to this point, but even through all that, there is still the deep, all-consuming love.

At the same time, however, that same love is needy, intense, and demanding. There are many times where it feels like they are devouring each other - the language choices and the way the scenes are constructed go a long way giving it this feel, and it’s really phenomenal. This next scene takes place on one of their dates. They’ve been out with Bella’s coworkers and had to remain a respectable distance from each other. Let the frantic neediness ensue.

No matter what may be waiting for me at home or what the consequences are, I don't want this to end...

"Bells," you smile against my lips, "we're still on the street."

My smile is one I never knew I was capable of and I take your hand and pull you into the alley next to the restaurant. It is narrow and dark, the moonlight not reaching between the buildings. I can't see you but I still have your hand in mine. I walk until I reach the loading door of the building, the metal gate is down and as I lean against it I can feel the sharp edges dig into my flesh.

This is the punishment I deserve.

If you could see my face you'd know how I wanted you. Instead I pull you roughly against me, the grime of the metal staining my clothes as your erection grinds against me. Having your lips on me is a high I pray will never end. We kiss as I claw at you, you push against me hard, controlling what I can and cannot touch of you. Your lips move from mine to my neck making me sigh.

One thing you’ll probably note in the previous two excerpts is the darkness to Bella’s thoughts - how she doesn’t feel like she deserves him, how she made her bed now she needs to lie in it, how things with Jacob can never be more than what they are. I found myself wanting to scream at her and say “YES THEY CAN!” but of course, things are never that easy, especially when you’re dealing with past hurt and the heart. We women often, and Bella, specifically in this case, have made a profession of believing we aren’t good enough and that we are limited in our choices. I long for Bella to finally open her eyes and wake up to see that she DOES have choices, that she can choose Jacob if she wants to, that she’s NOT stuck or forced to live this miserable half life.

This story is about past regrets, trying to live in the present when hurt and grief are your constant companions, and figuring out how to make a new life when so much damage has been done. As Jacob said early on: “I only have so many one more chances in me.” We are at the part in the story where my heart has literally been ripped out of my chest, stomped into the ground, and then kicked again for good measure. The pain Bella dished out... she’s getting back in spades, and it is absolutely excruciating. Three men are competing for Bella’s heart, and as of right now, no one is winning - least of all Bella.

Echoes of Love captured me from the first chapter and had me riveted through to what is currently posted. If you want a bit of mystery, can handle some heart-smashing angst, then DEFINITELY give this story a go. Make sure you leave Pavarti a little love. Tell her the Pervs sent you!

Jen - The summary for Echoes of Love may be short and simple, however, the story is anything but. It begins with a one-night-stand of sorts, between a Bella and Jake who have a long and complicated history. Pavarti writes a story that is full of both the most cutting angst and supremely erotic moments.

What can I say about this story? This is not a sweet love story. Parts of this story are incredibly raw and downright ugly. Some readers may find it unpalatable. In fic-land we tend to believe there’s always some way to salvage true love--but I’m not so sure that Jake and Bella can be together without destroying one another. Their love seems to walk a very fine line between love and hate, or at least deep hurt and anger that looks a lot like hate.

Bella is hardly a likable character. We still don’t know her whole story, but I find myself wanting to yell at her for her role in the wreckage that is her life. Her pain is visceral, but as much as Pavarti makes me feel her hurt, I don’t feel sad for her. She’s constantly berating herself for ruining the lives of several men who have loved her, and believing that she doesn’t deserve happiness or love. I keep wanting to shout at her that it didn’t have to be this way, that she could have had what she dreams of with Jake.

I don’t think Bella’s necessarily acting selfishly; there’s something in her past that has irrevocably damaged her. She seems to have an inability to make decisions, and her actions cause repeated pain to the men who love her. The whole story is BPOV, but we see very clearly how much Bella’s actions have hurt Jake. He’s been seemingly willing to take whatever she can give him, but she may have waited too long to take the steps to be with him permanently.

No matter how you may feel about Bella, the sexual chemistry she and Jake have is undeniable. It’s frantic, intense, raw sex. Their bodies communicate with ease; It’s when they try to communicate with words that things fall apart.

The lemons are utterly sexy, yet there’s a dangerous edge to them.

You come at me then with no pretense. Your hands are hard and fast as you lift me up against the gate. I use my hands to grab onto the grating and lift myself higher. You pull my underwear to the side and without pause slam up into me hard.

The pain of you is so perfect. I am split in two and made whole again in one swift movement. I feel myself shaking, so close to cumming already. You are breathing deeply, your eyes closed and I know that you are holding on to the moment. Slowly, I lift myself with my arms and lean back, pulling on you with the muscles deep inside of me.

I squeeze you, pulling you deeper inside of me with the strength of my need. Your eyes open and you gaze deeply inside of me. Your soul reaches out to mine and drags me out of the shadow of my misery by my heart.

I feel my own release building as I clutch at you, your hands kneading my ass, moving me on your cock slowly.

"I want you to feel me when you go home tomorrow," you growl as you pull out of me, your strong arms holding me in place before you slam up into me with such force the gate behind me rattles in its hold. I scream out as I feel the beginnings of my love for you overflow.

"I want you to feel me when you walk."

You pound into me, your speed increasing, I hold onto the grating and feel the metal ripping into the back of my arms and shoulders. The pain so sweet against the bliss of your body. My body convulses around you, pulling us higher and higher.

"Tell me you need me," you demand, your eyes boring into me.

"I need you," I pant.

"You want me."

"I want you, fuck!" I scream, I need you to touch me, lick at me, suck me. I need you on my lips, my breasts, my clit, my cunt. I need you and I have you.

"You love me."

"I love you Jake, fuck, I love you."

You bend your knees and lift one of my legs higher, pushing me against the gate roughly you hold my body with one hand and grab the gate above my head. I am pinned between you and the gate and you use your body to slam into me again and again. The metal shakes and bucks from your pounding and my screams reach out into the night, making promises I don't know if I can ever keep.

You fuck me and our pain melts away, you fuck me with heat and fire, need and passion and it is the most loved I have ever felt.

How did they get to this point? How do two people who love each other like they say they do end up hurting each other deeply, again and again? Is there any way that they can find happiness together? These are the questions that will keep you reading Echoes of Love.

Turn Me On: Disc Jockeys by casket4mytears

We want to know what turns you on, ladies! Which fics are rocking your world and are must reads for us Pervs? We want you to tell us what you like, what turns you on about this fic. Let’s talk about it over a glass of wine and get everyone reading it.

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Title: Disc Jockeys
Author: casket4mytears
Status: Complete
Chapters: 27
Word Count: 127,882
Summary: AU, AH, spoof of the film Empire Records. A day in the life of Velvet Records as the gang battles shoplifters and threats of corporate buyouts, and torments the customers. Oh yes, and romance. Canon pairings apply; E/B focus. Meyer/Heikkinen own all

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Stefanni - Let me start by telling you up front that I am not a writer, at all, but I read A LOT. That being said, I have so much respect for the people out there who not only can write, but share their work with the rest of us.

When I read that Trin’s Winter Wish was for a Twilight/Empire Records crossover, I immediately thought of Disc Jockeys by casket4mytears. It might not be exactly what she asked for, as far as character assignments, but its close.

Disc Jockeys is one of the funniest stories that I have ever read. casket4mytears does an incredible job of injecting the usual cast of characters into the world of “Empire Records,” the movie that made me want to work in a record store the first time I saw it. She also adds a dash of “Clerks” and “Clerks 2,” so what’s not to love about this fic?

I love the fact that the even though the female character assignments are pretty straight forward: Bella as Corey, Alice as Deb, Rosalie as Gina, and Esme as Jane. The male characters are more of a blend of characters: Edward as Lucas and AJ, Jasper as Berko, AJ, and Randal from “Clerks”, Emmett as Mark with a little bit of AJ, Jacob as Warren, and Carlisle as Joe and Dante, also from “Clerks.”

By the way, an Edward/Lucas hybrid is my definition of the perfect man.

The story starts with Edward closing up at Velvet Records. He finds out that his friends’ beloved place of employment is in danger of becoming another Virgin Megastore thanks to “that son of a bitch James, the bastard owner who wouldn't know good music if it bitch slapped him.” This forces Edward to do what any rational, level-headed employee would do. He steals the nightly deposit and heads for a casino to win enough money to save Velvet Records. He, of course, fails. Now he has to tell Carlisle what he’s done on top of telling Bella that he loves her by 1:37 exactly.

Emmett is trying to figure out if Rosalie’s feelings toward him are as strong as his are for her, and after smoking joint on the roof, how he got on TV with Gwar. Rosalie has her own demons to work on, namely her mother and an ex-boyfriend’s actions, while she teases Emmett. Jasper wants to find a name for the kitten he found (he votes for Annoying Customer or AC for short) and wants to know what happened to Alice. Alice has been distancing herself from the others for a few weeks now. Bella is trying not to trip on her own two feet, and seduce away her virginity to her celebrity crush, who just happens to be coming into Velvet that day, all while dealing with an addiction to speed. Jacob tries to shoplift some, in Edward’s opinion, poor-tasting CDs and comes back to the store shooting a gun, all because he wants a job. Just don’t call him an apple (this is offensive to Native Americans, even if Emmett says he’s “taking
it back”).

Apple is so not a slur!" Emmett protested, "Squaw, papoose, buck, redskin, nitchee, gin - those are slurs against Native Americans. Apple is not. Apple is the retarded name for a singing British wanker's child with an untalented actress.

I was outright laughing at all the ridiculous names Jasper picks out for his no name cat that he wants to call Annoying Customer. (That one gets my vote too!) Actually, there were several times that I would be laughing so loudly, that the people around me started looking at me like I was nuts.

In perhaps the most ingenious casting ever, the role of Rex Manning- the aging, has-been of a pop star, goes to none other than Rick Astley.

After being “Rick Rolled” as many times as I have, it gave me a sick sort of a thrill to see someone poking fun at him, even fictionally. casket4mytears must have some love for him though. The kinky Brit is one of the only characters getting any in the first 20 or so chapters.

She found herself bent over the storage room table, her skirt hiked to her waist, black silk panties stuffed into her mouth. She could see nothing, her eyes blindfolded in a rather ingenious way with her black bra, which she'd deftly removed without budging her blouse. Behind her stood Rick, whom she'd last seen dressed only in black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, his throbbing member twitching against the smooth cotton, begging for release. She'd knelt before him, never breaking eye contact as she'd slowly enveloped the head of his shaft through the underwear, one of her favorite ways to tease men. Blowing softly, her hot breath seeped through the woven cotton, eliciting a groan of excitement from Rick's soft pale lips.

However, poor Carlisle has it the worst. He simultaneously tries to fix the problems of all his employees, find nine thousand dollars to replace what the deposit Edward lost, keep James from finding out about said deposit, keep Rick happy, and deal with the hipsters in cheap white fedoras.

Bloody hipsters. Only one step above the Britney Spears crowd.

Sheep, the lot of them

All this, and he’s “not even supposed to be here today.” I giggle every time he mutters this to
himself. He does, however, find some help in the form of Rick’s lovely assistant, Esme. So many fics have Carlisle and Esme married, so it’s refreshing to read one they have just met and are dating.

The hilarity just doesn’t stop. The dialog is intelligent and witty. The characters aren’t just two-
dimensional parodies, but feel more like real people with some real issues. They are, of course, resolved in hilarious ways.

Edward and Bella finally get together (come on, we all knew it would happen) and the result is a very sweet, very tender, Erotic thrill.

Edward never let go of her hand, holding it tightly as he plunged deep inside her, again and again, his eyes rolling back into his head, his bronze hair messy and damp, his mouth
a silent gasp that echoed the overwhelming sensations coursing through Bella, so strong she
was sure she'd faint, sure she couldn't handle so much joy, so much… love, not all at once.

{snip}...

A tear slid down her cheek and she sighed happily, utterly spent, utterly in love.

casket4mytears is almost lyrical in the way she describes their union, but goes right back to the funny soon after.

Bella giggled, "Is this feeling where that whole 'screwed your brains out'
from?

"Harvard will not be pleased. I'd better screw them back in," Edward joked.

In the end, all the conflicts are resolved just like they would be in real life, with one hellacious street party to save Velvet Records from “The Man.”

The humor and wittiness alone would be enough to recommend this story, however the music that the author mentions throughout is equally as fabulous. You can tell that casket4mytears is incredibly knowledgeable of music from the way her characters discuss it. I highly recommend looking into some of the artists and songs she mentions, or check out her blog, Open Til Midnight: Musings of A Music-Obsessed Mind. I found a new appreciation for several new bands after reading this fic.

I have to recommend Disc Jockeys to anyone looking for something a little lighter and full of laughs without being too campy. It’s perfect.

Trin - In the words of Edward (Lucas in Empire Records) "The time to hesitate is through," and you should all read Disc Jockeys because it is such a sweet and funny story.

Last winter we all made some Winter Wishes and I instantly knew what I wanted... a Twilight/Empire Records crossover. Well I couldn't believe it when Stefanni sent an email letting us know this already existed. As I read this complete (YES, I said COMPLETE) story I was so excited that it still held that magic Empire Records held for me over 15 years ago as I watched the movie nearly constantly over the summer of my freshman year of high school.

The Twi characters are a little differently cast then what I had originally imagined, but casket4mytears creates such a perfect hybrid of Edward/Lucas/A.J. that I can't imagine I had never thought of it that way. We keep the sincerity we are used to from Edward, the intensity and passion of A.J. And the quirkiness of Lucas. As Stefanni said the rest of the characters are pretty straightforward.

After a misguided attempt of gambling the daily sales away on a game of craps to save Velvet Records from being turned into a Virgin Megastore Edward puts in motion a series of events that help the employees find themselves and true love. I nearly busted a gut laughing when I learned that Rex Manning was now Rick Astley!!!! Happy Rick Astley Day. How perfect is that? Bella has a school girl crush on Rick and has decided that she wants to give him her virginity since he's visiting the store.

Bella nodded, twirling a strand of her flowing wavy locks about her finger absently, "It's a go. Today..." Bella paused, reaching down between her feet and bringing up her album, "Today, I will offer myself to Rick Astley."

"All right! Trust me, Bella, it's so much easier losing your virginity when there's no danger of wrecking a relationship."

Bella's mind drifted away from Rosalie's slightly grating voice, lost in the dreamy eyes of the man who'd sung her to sleep each night in junior high, lifting the record to plant a kiss on the cover, "I love you..."

Rosalie suddenly snatched the cover away, ignoring Bella's protests as she licked the cover, "No Bella, kiss him like you mean it. Like this!"

Bella burst out laughing, snatching at the LP, "Hey! Cut it out! Get your tongue off my record!"

This story isn't totally fluff but it is a light incredibly funny read that has you flying through the chapters. In another genius casting move making Jacob as shoplifting Wesley/Warren I couldn't stop giggling imaging our muscleman idea of Jacob as the shrimp Warren from Empire Records. The relationship between Bella and Alice adds another interesting level to this fic that makes this story totally fresh.

Alice had been her best friend from grade school forward, sharing every secret, every life event... at least, until three months ago. Alice had suddenly withdrawn, refusing to talk to anyone, refusing to take phone calls or visits at her house. Even Jasper was finding it hard to reach her, and Bella knew in her heart that he was Alice's soul mate. Complicating matters was the fact they all worked together at Velvet, creating friction during shifts that Carlisle noticed, although he was too polite to blatantly call the staff on it. Bella had spoken with Carlisle privately about the change in Alice, with him concerned that perhaps she needed serious help with something she felt she couldn't share with her friends - no, her family, for friendship was too weak of a term. But Bella had hesitated, remembering vague comments Alice had made about her mother's temper. Aggravating the situation was the vicious loathing Alice and Rosalie held for each other, which Bella feared was feeding into Alice's cold shoulder treatment.

Of course as much as we love to see all the relationships blossom watching Edward and Bella admit to one another is the most rewarding. They are both so clueless and adorable and sincere in their feelings that it gives you one of those sappy grins. And well...they are pretty damn HOT too.

Edward bent forward, his face buried between her thighs, his tongue rolling over the swelling between her labia, her body jolting as a wave of intense pleasure slammed through her limbs, leaving her breathless with anticipation. Her hand reached down towards him, fingers tangling in his hair as he continued to lick and gently suck, the wetness becoming a flood as her body tightened, her mind overloading with his every touch. Her eyes closed, rolling back into her head as she concentrated on the feel of him: the tiniest bumps along his tongue, his smooth lips, the heat of his breath against her thigh. His weight shifted, his mouth abandoning her, and Bella forced her eyes open, witnessing as his now naked and engorged shaft was swiftly enveloped in the sheath of latex, Edward's hand slipping between her thighs, two long fingers slipping easily into her wetness, her body shuddering at the intense wave of pleasure triggered within. He moved over her, leaning forward to press his lips to her forehead, his eyes warm as his fingers withdrew, his other hand finding hers and interlacing his fingers with her own. Bella nodded slightly, encouraging him. I'm ready for this. It's okay.

This story is just so much fun and lovely that it really was a wish come true to read.

Jen - I’m so glad I was home alone over Labor Day weekend, because it allowed me to read Disc Jockeys straight through, uninterrupted. Mind you, if my children and husband had been around, I would have ignored them just so I could finish reading this gem of a story--way too much fun to have to stop reading for pesky things like meals and such. I am forever thankful for Stefanni for turning us on to this story.

casket4mytears does such a great job creating the atmosphere of this fic. You can totally see the store in your mind. While Edward and Bella are the main pairing, it’s truly an ensemble fic, with all of the canon couples getting their stories told. I absolutely fell in love with each and every one of them, though I think fell especially hard for this Carlisle. He’s like everyone’s super fun, favorite almost uncle, though he can be authoritative when he needs to be.

Edward and Bella are earnest, yet clueless, close friends who are actually in love with one another. They’re both so self-effacing that neither one imagines it possible that the other one is attracted to them in that way.

Bella blushed, running a hand through her messy locks. With a strange grin, she suddenly pounced on Edward, nearly knocking him to the ground as she kissed him deeply, her body crushed against his. Edward sunk into the kiss, allowing his hands to trace her back, the waist of her skirt, drifting up her sides and down again. So many times he'd held her - consoling her on bad days, dancing at clubs, carrying her into the ER countless times. He'd even had to help dress her one night after a long drinking binge, he and Alice struggling to put her into her pajamas so Charlie wouldn't find her asleep in a strapless evening gown and bust her for being drunk at 16. All the same, it felt new to touch her, to hold her this way.

To his surprise, he felt Bella's hands roving down his back and slipping into the back pockets of his jeans, grabbing his ass and pulling him against her, which he took as an invitation to explore her curves. His left hand worked its way between them, cupping her breast gently, her soft moan sending a shudder through his body. The kissing grew more fiery as he continued to caress and lightly squeeze her breast, Bella's hands now finding their way into his hair, pressing him against her until he struggled away, laughing and gasping for air.

"Bella, you'll be the death of me!"

Bella pouted, "Well, fine then. I can't help it if you make me want you. If you don't want me to kiss you-"

"Don't you even dare suggest it," Edward growled, scooping her up and cradling her against his chest as she laughed, burying her face against his neck.

They’re just too adorable for words, but they’re definitely hot when they get into bed together.

This fic is kinda like life: funny, angsty, messy and complicated; full of mystery, love, and loyalty. It’s all of those things without being contrived or feeling like it’s more than one story all smooshed together. It absolutely deserves to have way more than 135 reviews. Go give Disc Jockeys a read and leave
casket4mytears some love.

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Fandom Hopping: Batman and Wonder Woman

Some may say we’re easily distracted.

Some may accuse us of giving up on Twilight (NEVER).

We say, “Why limit ourselves to just one fandom full of smut when there are soooo many other possibilities out there?!?!” And so we give you Fandom Polyamory, a place to poke your nose into another universe, meet some new characters, and enjoy all the pervy possibilities when a writer fucks with the universe someone else created. Don’t worry, friends, Edward & Co. will all be there waiting for you when you get back, but for now, take a walk with us down a different path.

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Fic: In Darkest Light
Author: Meljean Brook (also find her as Josephine and Ugly Girl at JLA Unlimited)
Summary: A strange encounter with Batman leads Wonder Woman on a darker journey than which she is familiar. Batman/WW shipper fic. Mature themes Language/sexual situations/some mild violence

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Guest Perv: AltheaJams - It starts out with a bang that opens their eyes to the attraction that they feel for one another. Wonder Woman has recently suffered the personal tragedy of losing her mother, and this awakening of sorts jars her into doing some serious soul searching. The curiosity behind her encounter with Batman brings her to Gotham. While there, she comes to Batman's aid and ends up taking on some of Batman's methods - a posture, an approach that is so different from hers. Seeing the effect he has on the city and its citizens, Diana (Wonder Woman) starts questioning her mission of spreading peace in man's world and wondering if she's helping or hurting. Meanwhile, both Diana and Bruce struggle against the crazy attraction they feel for one another.

She advanced on him. "Bruce Wayne is just a function of Batman. Dick is a function of Batman. Everything you do is a function of Batman." Her anger built. Standing toe to toe with him, she said, "Cold, calculating Batman. Don't let anyone in, don't care about anyone." She knew it wasn't true; she had seen how he cared for his family, his city. But she couldn't stop. She pushed against his chest.

He didn't budge. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Diana, don't. I'm sorry. I know this is about Hippolyta, but don't --" The anger swelled, overwhelmed. She grabbed his costume, lifted him, slammed his back against the cave wall. She put her face close to his.

"Don't mention my mother," she whispered dangerously. She dropped him, stepped back. Her breath hitched. What was she doing? Yet she still didn't stop. "You don't have a monopoly on grieving for your parents, Batman," she said.

The change came over him so quickly and he moved so rapidly that she barely had time to register it before he reversed their positions, holding her up against the wall, pressing himself against her. He was furious, she realized.

"Careful, Princess." His voice was soft. She wished that he would rage, would match his anger against her own. His eyes stared down into hers, the shadows making his irises look like midnight. He suddenly buried his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaled. She felt the brush of his tongue, and her anger started to change to desire.

"I feel, Diana," he breathed into her ear, and pushed his hips into hers, pressing his erection against her belly. His mouth trailed fire down the line of her jaw. She tilted her head back, parting her lips. He brought his mouth close to hers; their breath mingled. "I'd like nothing more than to take you up to Bruce Wayne's bed and fuck you until you scream my name out loud--" Her eyes widened, in surprise and arousal, "--and to lose myself in you. But I can't." He let go of her, stepped back, leaving her filled with frustration instead of anger.

"Why?"

He smiled grimly. "Hawthorne spent his life looking for the secrets of men's hearts; I've spent my life searching for mine. And what I've learned, Princess, is that inside of me is a scared boy who just wants his parents back, and its dark in there. I walk a fine line; the difference between me and the Joker, Diana, is control. And if I let go of this control, give into lust, then what's next? I give into my desire to finish the Joker off once and for all? Then maybe I'll decide to take out someone else: Two Face, or some punk on the street. It won't stop."

Diana stared at him, amazed that he had opened up to her like that. And every sense told her that he was telling the truth, that he believed absolutely in what he was saying. She knew he was better than that, though. Stronger.

"It doesn't have to be that way. It might not happen like that," she argued.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose as if fighting a headache. Or an inner battle. "I never am going to take that chance and find out."

Diana bit her lip as two more truths hit her with the force of a locomotive. Her own truths.

She was in love with the Batman.

And he would never, ever allow himself to love her back.

What is so frickin hot is the Eclipse Edwardian strength Batman uses to fight against his urges for Diana. He has made a commitment to fighting for justice and feels like losing control, even if just for one ecstatic evening, could threaten his ability to maintain his control over his urges in every arena of his life. That UST is palpable as both Wonder Woman and Batman fight against the heat they feel for one another. Their journey together takes an epic turn and the story becomes an action-filled adventure.




Chele - This story is freaking awesome, and has converted me from an eye-rolling anti-comic smutfic snob to a drooling Batman/WonderWoman fangirl. What starts off as a bit of fluffy smut when our hero and heroine are caught in a compromising position after a bit of magic goes awry, quickly turns into a deeper story about trust, honor, and desire.

Batman is stoic and sexy and his awesome sense of self-control had me wanting to lick him within the first hundred words or so. WonderWoman is beautiful and larger than life - everything I looked up to as a little girl, but the kind of flawed, real strength that I still admire as a woman. Reading as these two dance a UST laden tango of desire fulfilled my every voyeuristic fantasy.

They each take turns battling down their demons and desires as they fight the inexorable pull toward one another.

"What if you don't lose control; what if I take it from you?" she whispered, her breath hot against his cheek. She sat up, grabbed his collar and ripped the top of his uniform in half, shredding the body armor like cobwebs. "What if I change strategies? You force justice, what if I force … love?" She looked down at his chest, licked her lips. "I've seen a lot of men with flawless bodies, Bruce, but I've always looked at them as if they were Greek statues: perfect, but cold. But you…every scar, every mark on you makes you more impressive, more human."

Batman kept his expression impassive as she ran her hands over his torso, rested her arms on his chest, her bracelets surprisingly warm from the heat of her wrists. She dipped her head and kissed an old bullet wound; it burned straight to his heart. He wanted to give in, wanted to let her take him.

But he couldn't.

Nor, he realized, could he throw her from him. She needed to be brought to her senses with logic, not with violence. "It's the chaos talking, Diana, not you. Think. 'Forced love'? It is impossible. This isn't what you stand for."

She licked a knife scar, then looked up. "Yes it is, I - how did you put it once? Ah, yes. I 'force peace.' Why not this, too?"

The writing is intense and incendiary.

This is not an overwhelmingly smutty story (though now that I’ve had a taste, I’ll be begging Althea Jams and Jeanne to send me the porn), but it is an awesome adventure and romance, steeped with subtle eroticism which illustrates the price paid by the individual in their quest to save the masses. It is a beautiful glimpse into the lives of characters which have always been bigger than life in my imagination. It makes them real, and real heroes are awesome.

Jeanne - I’m a Batman fangirl, like to a hardcore, mildly obsessive degree. Add to the that a life long hero-worship of Wonder Woman (I dressed up as the Amazon princess for too many Halloweens to count) and you have one of my all time favorite comic book pairings. The Amazon Princess and the Dark Knight are two sides of the same coin, two aspects of justice and are two extreme complex people in very different ways.

Despite all that this story is about the people the live behind the mask and powers. About a man and a women, who are friends, but never really knew each other. It is also about how love doesn’t necessarily concurs all, but trust and courage can really help it along that path.

As Althea points out Bruce has a lot of similarities to what we Twi Fan Fic readers love about Edward. His intense need to control the part of himself that he feels is dangerous and uncontrollable. This belief that he is walking a thin line between good and evil is part of what is so alluring about Bruce. What’s really surprising (especially for me) was how much Diana (Wonder Woman) reminded me of Bella (or rather the aspects of Bella I love). She is determined, fearless and completely open to loving until it kills her. This surprising, yet wholly believable vulnerability in this powerful woman is compelling and very relatable.

The Joker rubbed the silk of Diana's dress between his gloved fingers. "Nice, but I have to admit I like your biker chick outfit better."

Diana grabbed his hand, grinned, a wild light in her eyes. "I'll wear it for you if you lend me your Harley to ride."

While the relationship (and sex) between Batman and Wonder Woman is fantastic the main plot of In Darkest Light is an addictive adventure/mystery. It has all the components of a comic book story. We get to meet and laugh with the members of the JLA (Justice League of America), as well as the Batfamily (Nightwing, Robin, Batgirl and Oracle). Not to mention a kickass Alfred.

"Amazons are hunters as well as warriors, aren't they?"

"The best in the world, Alfred."

"I suggest then, Miss Diana, that you change your demeanor and approach from that of a warrior to that of a hunter." He smiled very slightly. "Gotham is more like a jungle than a battlefield. If you go in as Wonder Woman, no costume can hide your identity."

"I *am* Wonder Woman, Alfred."

"No." Alfred turned her to look in the mirror again. "Tonight you are Diana, goddess of the hunt."

We even get one of my favorite portrayals of Batman’s nemesis the Joker. Honestly, what happens to him at the end nearly made me cry (Joker fangirl is showing). We even get a tour of the Underworld, per Greek mythology, that sheds light on Diana’s background.



This story is lush, multilayered and irresistible. Whether you are a fan of the Batman/Wonder Woman comic books or the movies (or the Wonder Woman tv show like I was as a kid) you should give this fic a try. Hell, if you’ve always craved a fic with a Batman like Edward read this story. It will seduce, enchant and make you fall in love with it.

Team PackPerv: Holding Sam by MeraNaamJoker

We are Pervs that dig the danger and maybe even the fur that comes with being a Pack lover. Team PackPerv isn’t afraid to take on the shape shifters of Quileute. We welcome all the sexy possibilities that come walking on the wild side. So join us in the sunlight and run with the wolves. As always clothing is optional.

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The Team PackPerv Pick is...


Title: Holding Sam
Author: MeraNaamJoker
Chapters: 20 (Complete)
Words: 108,258
Reviews: 1162
Summary: Sam saves Bella after she gets lost in the woods. She returns the favor in more ways than one. A romance set in AU New Moon.

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Guest Perv: TwiCharmed Why Sam and Bella? First of all why would you ever turn down an Alpha male? Also, I have always loved the idea of strong, solid Sam being the rock that Bella can lean on. But what MeraNaamJoker has done in Holding Sam has been far more incredible. MNJ was able to take canon Bella and deliver to us what worth applauding.

Sam is very much the Alpha I have grown to love but with a vulnerability that makes him even more sexy. It’s amazing how I am able to feel his power even when his has own self doubt when it comes to Bella. The result is sexy times that are laced with an emotional intimacy that left
me panting.

Sam groaned, throwing his arm back over his eyes and arching into my grasp.

"Oh, fuck." Holy shit, and I thought I was turned on before. Everything was throbbing with want now, set on fire by his helpless response. I did it again, and he begged between gritted teeth, "Bella, please."

You don’t want to miss Holding Sam. It is an incredible New Moon AU that leaves you rooting for real love :)

Jen - It’s no secret that I have a total girl-crush on MeraNaamJoker and would likely read the telephone book if someone told me she’d re-written it. Fortunately for all of us wolf loving girls, she has written something so much better.

Holding Sam is a slow burn New Moon AU. Have you ever wondered about Bella forming a connection with Sam because he was the one to find her in the forest? I have, and I’m happy to say that the plot MeraNaamJoker has come up with far exceeds any possibility I’d ever considered.

As much as I thought SM’s blank pages worked well to illustrate Bella’s post-abandonment state, I far prefer MeraNaamJoker vision of Bella. Even in her near catatonic state, Bella is feisty, refusing to agree to go to Florida as Renee requests. She’s courting danger in order to make the pain from the Cullens leaving fade—she drinks, wants to have casual sex, even offers herself to the wolves as bait to lure Victoria in. She truly does not care if she lives or dies.

Sam is even more damaged than Bella. He was rejected time after time by his imprint, Emily. He eventually phased in front of her and hurt her. She sent him away after that, effectively breaking the imprint, and breaking Sam.

Sam is skittish of being too near Bella and believes he’ll hurt her like he hurt Emily. It takes time, but he gradually becomes more comfortable around her. Helping Sam becomes a goal of Bella’s, and they both have some gradual healing as they save one another.

Bella starts coming out of her fugue state and finally notices how hot Sam is. It happens a little at a time, but every once in a while she’ll think how nice it would be to have his hands on her. It takes Sam longer to allow himself to be vulnerable in front of her, but the UST is THICK, and you will be dying waiting for them to share a kiss and more. She knows how frightened Sam is of hurting her, and treats him like a wild animal who needs to be approached slowly. I love the way MeraNaamJoker talks about Sam’s wolf as a separate part of him. Although she’s just trying to acclimate Sam to her touch in a non-sexual way, the scenes are still very sexy as the UST builds.

Still moving at a glacial pace, I brushed my fingertips over his wrist bones, across the sparse scattering of dark hair between them, and back. He made a miserable sound suspiciously close to a moan. "You're not going to hurt me, Sam." I moved fractionally forward again, sliding my hand up his arm—nice, the back of my mind noted at the feel of his muscles under my palm—to his shoulder. His head fell back against the wall. "No, it's all right. See? I know it's hard to think straight when you're scared." Tell me about it. I heard my vampire ex-boyfriend's voice in my head when that happened, which was probably the opposite of straight thinking. I leaned forward until the front of my body brushed his. That was undoubtedly stupid, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

His voice trembled. "You're insane. You're absolutely crazy."

"Probably." I tilted my face up and rested my chin on his chest, feeling it rise and fall far too rapidly. "But I'm right about this."

Sam and Bella have a very non-traditional courting, if you will. It includes this like long talks about finding meaning for living by helping others and flirting via making their way through one of Bella’s panic attacks. I just love it. Bella has a fabulous and hilarious inner monologue, for example:

Hip-kissing meant... more than friendship-like, right? Unless he just wanted to be a semi-regular hook-up or something... I was so bad at relationship navigation.

One of my favorite non-smutty aspects of Holding Sam is Charlie, because he is an aware and alert Charlie! He calls Bella on her lying, asks if she’s having safe sex, and grounds her. Hey, book Charlie! How’d you get to be Chief when you’re generally so clueless and unobservant? Take lessons from this Charlie.

I could go on and on; there are so many wonderful bits to this fic. You will love when they start to get physical. It’s not only sexy but also imbued with humor as these two damaged souls work on healing one another and themselves. MeraNaamJoker writing is always wonderful, and her unique take on SM’s universe is worth reading even if you’re not a wolf girl. It’s now complete, so go check it out. I’m sure you’ll love it as much as we PackPervs do.


Chele - Admittedly, When Sam walks out of the woods in New moon cradling Bella in his arms, my mind went there. I totally shipped them. Admit it, you did too. Edward had been such a dick, and Jacob was in elementary school the last time we saw him. Sam was 6’4” of bare-chested, muscle-bound savior. I remember thinking “THAT’s a story I want to read.” Too bad no one had written it.

MeraNaamJoker has finally given me everything I could have hoped for in that moment. Sam is written brilliantly, the reluctant hero and vigilant pack leader. His vulnerabilities, caused by all of the history of failed love with Leah and Emily, balancing out his ever-present physical and mental strength.

Bella is no slouch, either. Instead of going the “stay in my room for three months” route, she behaves like a normal teenager and rebels by sneaking out and spending time drinking with her friends, all for the added bit of Edward’s chiding voice via hallucination.

In short, these characters are real people, placed in extraordinary circumstances, who, despite insurmountable odds, find in each other passion and love. It is brilliantly done, and it doesn’t hurt at all that it’s infused with MeraNaamJoker’s style of ridiculously hot eroticism. Indulge your inner pack perv and secret romantic, read this RTFN!

Jeanne - To avoid repeating what the other ladies have already said, I will simply focus on the jaw dropping characterizations of Sam and Bella. There only a handful of fan fictions that make Sam Uley a three-dimension character, much less a heroic one. Yet in Holding Sam we see a different view of the Alpha of the La Push pack.

It’s important to note that aside from the broken imprint there is little difference between this Sam and the one in canon. What is different in Holding Sam is that Bella meets Sam Uley herself before getting anyone else’s (Jacob, Leah, etc) impression of him. Not only that, but in Bella’s most vulnerable moment she see Sam at his most vulnerable and she is the one with the strength to keep him alive.

Contrasts, this story is full of the compression of what is seemingly different, but is at it’s most fundamental level the same. Imprinting and the bond between Edward and Bella. Sam’s self neglect through over dedication to his Alpha duties and Bella’s self neglect through crazy, immature behavior. They are both running. They are both injured. They are both so much stronger and better than they realize.

That is what I love the most about Holding Sam is how perfect Sam Uley and Bella Swan truly are for each other. Theirs is not an epic fairy tale love. It is a dirty, messy, real kind of love. The kind where someone holds your broken, bleeding body together. Where you know that both love other people, but can still find room in your hearts to choose to love each other. Not because it’s fated, because it’s healthier, and better than the other kinds of love.

Teal - You know, until now, I never really saw the allure of Sam/Bella stories. Aside from him finding her in the woods and carrying her back to Charlie, there really wasn’t much in canon to link them. Right about now, you’re probably glaring at the screen and thinking, “Yeah, this from the girl who ships Bella with Peter,” and you’re right - it’s less about the pairing and more about taking a sexy male character and pairing him up with our quintessential It Girl. Well, you know what I mean...Bella is the It Girl in this fandom, like it or not. And maybe I’m just too attached to Sam/Leah angst-fic that I’ve been blinded to this possibility.

BUT...BUT, BUT, BUT I’m a sucker for a good AU, and it’s rare to find truly captivating wolf pack AU multi-chaps. Leave it to MeraNaamJoker to prove to me that Sam/Bella can be sexy, edge-of-your-seat, and believable.

Where our good friend Stephie M. used the power of the imprint to prove that love truly forgives all, MeraNaamJoker took a completely different approach to how Emily could have reacted. Instead, she used Sam’s unfortunate phase to put him on equal ground with Bella. Both had their heart ripped out. Both carried the weight of abandonment. Both tried - in unhealthy ways - to distract themselves from the pain they couldn’t otherwise escape.

And that’s where they found one another.

And hope.

And love.

Fuck me, if it isn’t gut-wrenching, angsty, and hot all at once.

"I'm scared," I confessed as he overlaid me. What if I couldn't come all the way back and lost time the way I had when Edward first left?

"I know. It's going to be fine, though. Just hold onto me."

Obediently, I wound my arms around his neck and entwined my legs with his. Everywhere our skin came into contact, the frost retreated from my veins, but it wasn't enough. With an impatient noise, I arched my back to urge him on. Leaning on one elbow, he reached down with his free hand to line himself up with me, rubbing against me until I was wet enough to take him in.

Once he was fully inside, he leaned back a little on his knees and one hand so he could kiss me. My mouth had thawed enough to kiss him back. The gentle pressure of his lips against mine chased away the remnants of vampiric chill. Abruptly, I returned fully to myself, in the present, with the man I loved over and around and within me. I cradled his face in both my hands and spoke wonderingly as I remembered, "I love you."

Honestly, there is so much that can be said about this fic, and I know that we’ve told you a lot. If you’re not convinced by now that this story is worth reading, well then, there’s just no hope for you, and I might have to disown you as a pervling. Okay, I’m kidding, but I do sincerely think you’d be crazy to not give this one a shot. That’s your cue to bid us farewell for now and click the link above. And of course, enjoy!