Purdue Liz likes "Date Night"

Title: "Date Night"
Author: Red Chevy
Chapters: one-shot
Words: 4,803
Reviews: 68
Summary: One shot. Written for the Dirty Talking Edward Contest. Edward is anxious to see Bella again after a week apart, making plans for their reunion. What happens when Bella has made plans of her own? AU AH OOC BXE. First Fanfic.


Ahhh, dear Pervlings, it’s my turn to bring you a one-shot. So I pulled up my favorites and started searching through it to find the perfect one. And when I say searching, I mean it; there are 216 stories in my favorites. I’m looking and looking, and I keep coming back to one of my all-time favorites. Date Night by RedChevy.

We start with our dear Edward, on shift at the hospital, reliving some of his favorites memories with Bella. It’s finally Date Night for them, a ritual they’ve developed and he’s pondering who he’ll be that evening. Mr. Slow and Gentle or Mr. Rough and Hard.

We get taken back to the night he first discovered how Bella loves a dirty talking Edward (and I mean really, who doesn’t?).

“Just when you think you can’t take anymore, I want to take you to the bedroom, bend you over the end of the bed and fuck you, hard. Pounding into you until you shout my name so loud the neighbors will know exactly who you belong to.”

Where was I? Oh, yes. Edward arrives home and falls into bed, only to be awakened by Bella who is intent on staking her claim on him.

“Shhhh…. Plans have changed, Edward. Tonight I am going to make you scream my name until you’re hoarse,” she said quite matter-of-factly.

And I’m going to leave this little gem right there, so that you can read it for yourselves. I’ll just say, I want to be this Bella. Having Edward bound, to do with as I wish. Now, run over and read it for yourselves and then leave Red a whole lot of love (she really likes that!).

As I was digging, I came across an author for the HP fandom that I absolutely adore. And I remembered that she had a lovely little gem that I really felt was worth sharing. It’s called Twilight Movie Madness by dracosoftie and here’s the summary: A short PWP in honor of the release of Twilight, which opens in the U.S. on Friday. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Draco and Pansy talk about the Twilight book series.

I know that many of us are HP fans as well, and this one is just too good not to share, I promise you’ll be amused. (PS- I love everything dracosoftie has written.)

So go, read Date Night and then grab your man for some Date Night fun of your own. Then settle in for a good laugh at the HP characters discussing our beloved Twilight!

Yep, that's me. Slowwww Jo (AKA Cullenitis). Perpetual Procrastinator. Terrible Time Manager. Lady Lateness. The Delayed Dutchess. Eleventh-hour Extraordinaire.

Oh, and Alliteration Ace.

Anyone who knows me IRL will tell you, if you want me somewhere ON-time, then tell me the WRONG-time, because whatever it is, I am guaranteed to be at least 1/2 hour late. This was how my Sister-In-Law got me to her wedding on time (No, the ceremony was at 1:30pm, not 1:00pm. Good call Cheri). So, I guess that explains to you why I am posting this up on Monday evening, and not Sunday morning, eh?

My Little Corner of the Universe

That's me below (Hai!) as of yesterday, and Lappy (as I have so donned my Dell), and we are in a little corner of my bedroom where I spent 65% (99%) of my time. Lappy and I have a wonderful relationship. He makes Skittles soft for me, and keeps me warm at night when I fall asleep in my recliner. Jeez, I'm a geek. I am also a self-imposed insomniac and I mainline caffiene, as you can clearly see from the endless coffee cups & soda bottles collecting on my nightstand (that's 2 days worth).

Now... when I'm NOT stowed away in my hole (as the hubs calls it), playing hermit whilst making love to my laptop, I am usually spending my time with my wee little spawn of hell.

This........ is Emma------>

My homeslice.

Or, Em, Ems, Emmy, Eminem, or when she's in trouble (which is about every 5 minutes)...
EMMA REILLY!

Emma has been great with the Twilight fiasco that has run amuck in my household. She truly is a Twilight Kid... especially when she makes it a point (as she does frequently) to whisper in my ear, "Eggwart's a hottie!"

I let her slide on the "Eggwart", just because it's so freaking adorable. She knows it's wrong now, but continues to say it that way because she knows I like it. She is always so eager to please me and make me laugh. That is truly one of the most enjoyable aspects I have found in parenthood. She may be a brat, and waaay too smart for her own good, and STUBBORN AS HELL, but she's cute, so it's alright.

I should probably also mention my sexy-ass husband (aka 'Daddy' thanks to Bek's inspiration), who helps me work out what gets 'worked-up' when I'm reading fic. He is a great guy and my best friend (when he's not being a douche), and he is very...um....pliable to my needs. I could say a LOT more, but that's for more....er.....private conversation, if ya KWIM.

The Hopeless Talent

I've been blessed with boatloads of talent, be it writing, singing, playing instruments, drawing, what have you... if it involves creativity, chance are, I am good at it, or I can pick it up without much effort. And while I may possess natural talent, wielding it is a whole other story. It is almost ironic to possess these abilities, yet lack the discipline, motivation, and focus needed to hone those skills, OWN them, and turn them into something worth anyone's time. That continues (and will probably always continue) to be my personal challenge. "Yeah, those 12 story plots aren't going to write themselves...."

With art of all forms in mind, thought I'd share one of my countless passions. Below are a few of my favorite henna designs (done on family and friends over the summer)....

I am seriously considering getting that shoulder design as a tattoo. What do you think?

My one-shot rec!

So, this is a fun, flirty and definitely deviant little ditty! Written for the 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' contest, and as far as threesome fics go, this one has skyrocketed to my favorites list.... and that's not just because it's Em/B/J. Oh no! It's goooood, and I don't want to spoil it for you, so go read it!

Boom-Shakalaka by DefinatelyStaying
Bella shows up for her first day at college to find that she’s been assigned to room with two guys. Emmett McCarty and Jasper Whitlock are two of the hottest guys on campus. What happens when their attractions collide? AH/AU - One-shot Lemon-tastic fun.

Some GREAT mind-fuckable recs...

Everyone knows that I am a HUGE fan of Darkward....but that is only a character. And OBVIOUSLY I love smut... I mean, I AM a PERV, but I want to take a moment to discuss what truly keeps me coming back for more in a story (aside from the Groin-Twitching). That quality is..... the Mind Fuck. I adore it when an author has the ability to stump me, surprise me, mess with my head, twist the knife in deep and totally scramble my brain. If I sit back at any given point in a fic and say, "Whoa," then consider me satisfied.

With that being said, here are some recent quality additions to my reading list that have accomplished this wonderful task....(at least they have for me).

The Fallout by OCD Indeed MUST READ!
On Mar 16/06, the world changed, drastically. The 1 creature Edward needed to protect slipped away from him. He never wished to exist in a world where Bella didn’t, but his family desperately needed him & he would help them 1 last time before joining her.

Playing God and the Vampire of the Odd by dreaminspired MUST READ!
Everything changed the day Bella moved to Forks. The Volturi passed a law, permitting vampires to kill in the open. One year later, forcefully separated from Charlie, Bella strives to reach Washington and hopefully reunite with her father. Instead, she meets the Cullens and learns something valuable - not all vampires are monsters. Carlisle, having interfered with Aro's plans, is given a month to change his ways or face judgement. When the world grows darkest yet, the brightest hope gives greeting.

String Theory by Dooley MUST READ!
Bella is just living her life-- at home with her brother Jacob, and Charlie and Renee, at school with her friends, in her bedroom with...well. She doesn't like to talk about that. Carlisle Cullen knows-- even if he doesn't know why-- that nothing is right.

Predator and Prey by knitten kitten MUST READ! *Super Smutty!*
He is drawn to her scent, seduced by her taste. He would make her belong to him, through whatever means necessary. E/B AU Adult Content.


Welp! That's all I got.
Nice to meet all of you & STAY PERVY!

"Good Bella, Bad Bella" by off-the-deep-end

Our Guest Reviewer this week is HMonster4!



This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: "Good Bella, Bad Bella "
Author: "off-the-deep-end"
Chapters: 31
Words: 104,628
Reviews: 2,891
Summary: The much awaited story surrounding the one-shot 'White Carpet and Wall Sconces'. Read and Review. M FOR A REASON. Bad Boy Edward Cullen meets the studious Bella Swan. Do opposites really attract? And what is Edward's secret?



Guest Reviewer - HMonster4 - Writing good smut is an art form.


Okay, you can stop laughing now. Yes, I realize that it sounds weird hearing me, of all people, commenting on smut. Let’s establish a few truths: Hi, my name is Heather. Yes, I read smut. I actually rather enjoy said smut. Unexpected? Excellent!


But more impressive than writing good smut, is writing an excellent smutty one shot, and turning it into a story that is compelling enough to keep you reading for more than the future sexytimes. Borderline brilliance when the later sexytimes can be just as good, if not better than the original.


The thing with one shots are that can be both a blessing and a curse. They are great fun to write, get your name out in the community, and help you stretch your skills as a writer. But they can end up being more than you bargained for when expanding into a multi chapter form. How do you live up to the expectations set in the one shot? How do you set the tone for a story beyond? No easy task.


Especially not one the one shot had Edward Cullen naked on white carpet. Bathroom carpet no less. Oh yeah.


Enter Good Bella, Bad Bella. I found this little gem after reading the one shot (White Carpet and Wall Sconces) that was written for Jayeliwood’s Sexy Edward contest. I was on a business trip, and decided to lose myself in some ff after a long day. I settled in with a glass of wine, and figured I’d read a few chapters before I crashed.


Two glasses of wine and eighteen chapters later, I was hooked. What had Edward so tormented that he was unwilling to think of anything past wham bam thank you ma’am? Who was Charlotte? When would Bella grow a set and take accountability for her actions?
Oh, yeah, and then there was that bit about Jasper in a toga…


But what really did it for me was the natural evolution of the story from a random bang in a bathroom to some massive UST (ummm – library make out session - hello!), to a love story.
AHA! We caught you! You always bring it back around to that, don’t you? Guilty as charged. But that’s the beauty of this story. The way Good Bella, Bad Bella has been crafted makes the character evolution believable. There are some curveballs as they get beyond Point A (fuck buddies) to Point B (a real, viable relationship) that could be deal breakers. How they navigate it is beautifully told. And as their relationship evolves, so does the smut, without losing any of the yummy goodness of the one shot. Trust me; it’s a bitch to build out a story while doing the original justice. Mad props to Off the Deep End for being able to do what others have struggled with.


And let me just say – when they final figure out a way to connect Point A and Point B (cough chapter 28 cough)…check please, thank you, good night, oh hell yes. I might not even care who walks in.


Bri- I am a GB,BB whore. Seriously. For a while there when OTDE went a while in between updates, Emmy would pop in on the thread just to tease me - making me think it had updated. Such an evil vixen, that one.

Anyhoodle...back to the hotness that is this story. I was hooked from WC&WS and was so thrilled when Anestasia decided to extend it. She has managed to take a cliched circumstance (Edward, the player) and brought out real depth in the story from his circumstances. There is so much to these characters and OTDE does a wonderful job in peeling off the layers and slowing showing us the bigger picture. I know I should be talking about the sexin cause this is the PPSS for fuck's sake, but there is so much more to this story. The plot drags you along and has you begging for more - the heartfail is needed and not overdone, the characters are easily relatable to.

The situations they find themselves in are plausible and well written.And - alright - I'll talk about the sex. Holyfuckingmotherofgodsonofabitchthisshitishot. And, not just hot, but HAWT. Drop everything you're doing right now and go read. 4.5 out of 5 panties.


Emmy- This is yet another story I was delighted got turned from a competition one-shot of smutty brilliance to a fully-fledged story! I remember actually squeeing with delight when Anestasia started the story.. I like that although Edward is a slag, he is not a DoucheWard... He is haunted, fragile, hardened and fecking seXXXy. He is an enigma we try and solve (what happened??!!) as Bella starts causing him to unravel and unlocks his outer shell... Bella gets under his skin like none of his other party shags have.. Bella he can't leave alone or let her be.. But everyone knows about Edward Cullen.. Will Bella listen to Jessica et al's warnings and leave well alone? Or will his tortured devastating bad-boy looks and cocky charm (& huge wanger) suck her in... ???

Thankfully their physical connection is instantaneous scorchio and their emotional connection is quickly cemented through their hot body action. Chapters 2 (their meeting) and 12 (dirty, slow, very very vocal Edward) are among my absolute faves.. & as HMonster4 says Chapter 28!!! In between the dirty deeds there is teasing and longing and snogging and library groping a plenty!!! See why its on my faves? Well you will as soon as you read it! Edward is insatiable for Bella - although others try and tempt him and his raging libido (quite successfully); he can't get enough of Bella, close enough, deep enough, know enough.. & Bella? Bella in this is a nicely rounded Bella for me. She is insecure and she is anxious about Edward and whether he really cares about her, worried about his other birds, and that is all natural! But this Bella is very sexy and sexual..She knows what she wants and she claims him ...

This story has a real plot! A developed and curious plot that makes you desperate to know what the blazes is Edward's deal? Why is he sabotaging almost all areas of his life as he tries to keep himself on lock-down and autopilot? Little clues are dispersed incidentally throughout and I spent so much time pondering what the dealio was.. Why, what, who??!! The reveal comes & I was right! :D (smug me much? Why yes!). It is also so sweet and touching at times. Their shared geeky love for being by the water and boats, the way they get comfort from each other's presence, the way they suck at communication for most of the fic.... *sigh* If you like hot-to-trot sexing with strong characters but also a really interesting story with properly developed characters, intense emotional connections and frustrations this is the fic for you! I bloody love it! 4.5 knickers left on the settee for Alice to find after I've had a session with a feral-out-to-prove-a-point-Edward, knickers out of 5....


Emily- There used to be a time in my life that I had all the updates I had alerted read and was still wanting something more to read. I stumbled across White Carpet and Wall Sconces and was completely drawn into the moment with Edward and Bella. I was thrilled to find out that the story would continue. We have all read many douchward stories and this one seems like the typical douchy eddie but there is much more to the riddle that is Edward. One of the things I like to see in fic is introduction of characters that were not SM originals.

It takes a talented author to do extra characters justice but the mystery that is Charlotte take the reader on a journey that is well crafted and keeps us guessing about what happened to her and how that made Edward how he is today. As for the smut, well I was hooked with the initial one shot story and was happy to see it weaved throughout along with a nice plot line and pacing. I look forward to reading the latest chapter that just arrived in my box today! 4 out of 5.


Hope- Hopey is moving this week and is busy packing and unpacking the accumulated crap of 5 people. She is also without interwebz or she would have left a lovely review for GB/BB. (from Nina. Hopey has mighty-bohunky Marines at her house and won't send me one or four) (from Hopey to Nina, I would but i'm selfish and want them all for myself. I'm a bitch like that. ;P) (from Nina, to Hopey, when did I ever say you weren't invited to the festivities too?? A Marine-style orgy sounds might fine)



Beks- Work hates me so I can't read, but I can't wait until I have a free moment to catch this one.


Kathy- I remember the distinct joy I felt at the continuation of White Carpet and Wall Sconces. It was such a smexy good time as a oneshot, I had high hopes for the multi-chapter version. Back then, I had no clue what it took as an author to morph this small snapshot of a story arc and make it bloom into a beautiful, rich story. I fell in love with this story as a reader, and enjoyed the backstory as it filled in.

Now, I have an even greater appreciation for the effort and challenge of turning a oneshot into a full-blown multi-chapter story and I just love GBBB even more. Best line from the oneshot/Chapter 2, “I told you…everyone’s good at something.” Yes, indeed...

As the plot unfolds and develops, I anxiously await each update. From the moment her name was dropped in Chapter 9, I wondered who Charlotte was and how she impacted the story, as well as Edward's choices and behaviors. I wondered why Rose was so god damned insistent on having a baby with Emmett. I loved and hated the Valentine's Day chapter, because it was one of the sweetest things I had read, and one of the most heartbreaking. Do I really even need to say that I cried? I did.

The more recent chapters have given us some additional plot twists and turns as well as some information and answers. They have kept us on our toes and interested now that the Charlotte mystery has been somewhat revealed. The sex is still hot, the characters are still lovable and I am still enjoying this story immensely. 4.5 out of 5 panties


Miya- I made my hubby DL this and put it on his ebook reader for me so I could read in the other room with the kidlets. I killed the batteries in it last night and then later nearly broke my husband after rereading the bathroom sex. I finished it today giggled, lusted, grew frustrated, and almost threw hubby's new gadget over some of the angst. Then I got to the last chapter and started yelling. Called hubby. "Honey, where the hell is the rest of the story?" "What story?" "The one you put on your electric book." "I copied all that you asked me to." I was childish, stuck out my tongue at the phone and hung up. I scurried to my laptop and pulled up the file. Sure enough, I was caught up to the current chapter.

As someone who has lost my first love in a similar situation, my heart went out to a very real Edward. At first, I thought Rose's preoccupation with getting pregnant was overstated, however with the small amounts of insight in chapter 30, it all made sense. Jessica is written rather well, balancing her between obnoxious sorority popularity seeker with being a truly caring, heart of gold, roommate- I thought the development was great. Although I don't know if I'll be able to watch Troy without giggling.

The plot is excellent, the smut is even better. 4.5 out of 5 panties.


Nina- I'm a sucker for a good titled story, so when the o/s of this White Carpet & Wall Sconces popped up for a contest entry I scratched my head confused (no shock there) and figured, meh, weird title probably is a weird story. Yeah it's weird if you're definition of weird also translates into fucking hot bathroom sex with Edward Cullen. So, um yeah...it's weird.

So before anything, read the o/s then continue on to this gem. Like Heather said, it's rare that you can build upon a o/s and do it effectively (she should know hello, BaT?). But it's even more rare when not only has the author effectively and convincingly built upon the o/s but has managed to improve it as well. That's what OTDE has done with GBBB. She built a plausible backstory, kept the crazy, hot smut and didn't 'short' any of the characters in the process. So often one couple suffers for the greater good of the main pairing but she keeps you engaged with each of their individual stories (toga Jasper) and Rose and Emmett's struggle as a couple as well. Even a seemingly side character such as Jessica has been allowed to shine as not a raging slutbag, though as Miya said, Troy is totally fucking ruined for me now!

Now onto the smut, chapter 12 nearly killed me, and by killed I mean I remember specifically reviewing and telling OTDE how fucking retarded I was after reading it. “I think you need to cum now, Bella.” Seriously, that chapter is delish, fucking delish. It's not just the actual sexing, the UST is wonderful, his yearning for her and vice versa.

All in all, OTDE has created a wonderful story that truly does suck you in and have you begging for more. 4.5/5


Steph- I read the one-shot that started this, White Carpet and Wall Sconces, right after she put it up for the contest and thought it was seriously hot. I was so excited when she considered continuing it, and I was not disappointed with what's turned out to be Good Bella, Bad Bella. First off, the name is so fun. I mean, who of us doesn't have the good girl and bad girl inside, fighting for dominance over what we're going to do. I love the progression from a story where Bella is trying to figure out why such a "bad boy" like Edward would be interested in someone like her, to the love story that it is now. How we slowly learn of Edward's tragic past and see why he's become the way he has. The side characters are beautifully balanced and play important roles as well. This is a story I immediately read the updates for, no matter what I'm doing. Valentine's Day nearly killed me. I'm so, so anxious to see where we're going from the point we're at now, where they are slowly rebuilding things. 4.5 out of 5 moist panties on the white carpet from me.