Elemental by TallulahBelle

Elemental

TallulahBelle

21

141,301

4,278

AU/AH: When the Swans return to their birthplace, Bella learns she is no ordinary teenager, and Forks is no ordinary town. Can she fulfill her destiny with the powerful Edward Cullen, or will the dark forces that threaten their families destroy them all?

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ScarlettLetters

Full disclosure: this rec is severely biased as my relationship with this fic goes way back. I've loved it for a very long time. I also love the author, TallulahBelle. I just wanted to get that out there. This rec won't just be a bunch of clit-licks, but there will be some heavy petting. M'kay?

I started reading Elemental decades ago in "fic time." I heard about it and was pretty excited that the premise was different from any other twific I had read. The characters are witches but the really cool, non-Halloween witches whose powers come from earthy elements: Air, Earth, Fire, and Water. The way TB began setting things up was like a great scary movie. Tingles started prickling on the back of your neck, and the hair on your arms stood up. Shit was going to get real, you just knew it. Oh, and Edward was an überdick. I loved hating Dickward. I professed my adoration for the story through reviews and through a common connection was asked to become a part of "Team Elemental" as a pre-reader. I was stoked. I would get to read the chapters before everyone else, and who doesn't love being on the inside track of a story they love?

So began my friendship with TB. Let me first say, as an author, she's fantastic, but as a person, she's at the pinnacle of marvelous. She knew I loved her story and the characters, even that douchbag Edward, and trust, I told her just how much I disliked him. All she would say to my incessant whining about him is "there is a reason he's the way he is." Okay...fine!! P.S. She wasn't lying.) I would make notes here and there about the story, and when a chapter would get posted and I'd see a suggestion of mine for all the world to read, I felt awesome. TB trusted what I had to say and allowed me to be a part of her amazing fic. Being on "Team Elemental" was one of the most rewarding things I've done in the fandom, and that is because TB is just that fucking cool. She loves her story. She puts her heart and soul into it, and it's obvious when you read her words. Her story and her readers mean the world to her.

Okay, so why did I love this fic so much? Well, beyond the excitement of reading a storyline that hadn't been done in the fandom, there was this undesired UST between Bella and Edward coming out the wazoo. They disliked each other immensely, but there was something there that neither could deny. I don't want to spoil anything in regard to their relationship, as I think how Elemental becomes a B/E story is key, but when I saw the direction they were heading, I was impressed. TB was going there, and there had to be done just right. For those of you who understand what I'm talking about, trust me when I say "there" was thought out and written with great care and a lot of discussion, and I think it came off perfectly. Now if that doesn't spark some interest for those of you saying "WTF is she talking about?" I'm not sure anything else I write will. Trust me, you want to find out just exactly what I mean.

So, what are some other reasons you should read Elemental? Well, if you enjoy a mystery, it's got that. If you like an adorable Emmett, this story has one of the best. If you want to read a Rose you'll actually like, and if you like your Carlisle with a dash of "strong and powerful leader," it's got that too. It's also got a messed up Renee that I'd like to bitch-slap, but then again, I might have mommy issues. There are secrets upon secrets, and also what I refer to as "The Big Bad." For a nemesis, um, The Big Bad is as big as it gets. Ho-ly Shit! We all talk about which fic we'd like to see become a movie. Because of all of its "elements," Elemental gets my vote hands down.

Now, to continue in the vein of full disclosure, I was a little surprised when I was asked by the Pervs to write a rec for Elemental. I mean, they are the Pervs, and Elemental is light on the smut, but while they might be the perviest bunch in the fandom, they also know a good fucking story when they read it. Elemental being "citrus lite" was actually fine with me in the beginning. I'm a less-is-more kind of gal usually, except something changed for me with this fic. OMG I want smut in every chapter now! I bug the shit out of TB with my concern for the state of Edward's poor, unused junk. Yes, I've done a 180° in regard to Edward, and it is my mission in life to get that boy regular poon. Don't let the fact that TB has gone easy on the lemons so far stop you from reading. As I mentioned above, the UST is off the charts, and I know, I just know, that when Edward and Bella do get around to the horizontal mambo (or vertical, I won't be picky), I'll be weeping tears of joy, as it will be as beautifully written as the rest of Elemental has been.

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feathers_mmmm rec'd this fic to me a while back. I read the first chapter (prologue), and was very "this is interesting", but didn't get a chance to read past that at the time. This time around, as I read more and more of it, I fell in love with this world. It's complicated and fascinating seeing Bella thrown into and trying to adjust to a world of autocratic rules. She has been given no information and no choice, but most of all, any other path she tries to take will cause physical harm to thousands of people and an entire ecosystem. She also, days before her eighteenth birthday, learns that their coven inherited imprinting from the Quileutes. The icing on her cakes is that the total tool bag in her community turns out to be her soul mate. This all happens over a fairy short amount of time. So, in a matter of a month, she has to adjust to the fact that she is a witch, she has to use her power to help her community and the world around her, AND that she is suddenly "mated".

I am enjoying how she is writing Bella and Edward adjusting to each other. It is not easy, and she initially loathes him. For once, Bella and Edward are not love at first site, yet they are still thrown together "romantically". It is for all intensive purposes an arranged marriage. Problem is that he, and 98% of the community, have had their whole lives to adjust to the idea of imprinting. Bella had a week. So, there is lots of fighting, but I love that this Bella is trying to accept her situation. It may not always be easy, but she is trying.

This story presents a fresh universe for me. It makes me think, and I love that. I am looking forward to seeing the B/E relationship grow and to see the community prepare for a looming threat.

4 out of 4 Elements (5/5)


I'd seen Elemental around for a while and finally decided to bite the bullet and read, even though the many people I asked couldn't assure me that the E/B relationship was on steady ground (one of my rules for starting a WIP fic). So, I went in hesitantly at first...and as reluctant as I was, it sucked me right in.

The world that TB has created is so utterly unique and unlike anything else I have ever read (fandom or otherwise) that I couldn't help but be smitten with Elemental. Everything is executed beautifully, down to the tiniest of details and it seriously blows my mind when an author is able to do that. I mean, for the smallest of puzzle pieces to click together takes a lot of hard work, dedication and planning...basically, it takes a great author.

The premise for this fic is a world of Witchcraft and one that I got swept up into immediately. Truth be told, my extent for knowledge in the Wicca world comes from reruns of Charmed *giggle*, but I really enjoyed everything that TB did within her world. Those parts of the story are unique and so interesting to me to read, but besides that, I love that Bella is learning right along with us.

Now, on to the characters. Poor Bella...seriously, the girl is completely clueless in the beginning of the fic, getting thrown into this chaotic world - not by choice, but by sheer need. I love seeing it through her eyes, learning the things as she does, getting angry at the people surrounding her for keeping secrets and revealing only half truths. Plus, I kinda love when we only get one side of the story...it keeps me guessing.

And, of course, I can't forget to mention Edward - after all, he's the reason I read fic, yeah? Well...hmm...this Edward is... Well, he's a shit. A complete and utter shit. In the beginning, I loathed him - but I loved to loathe him. Bella doesn't bend over backwards for him either, and that's always something I find interesting in fics - where the characters have to actually work for a good relationship...it's not love at first sight. Finally we're at a point in the story where I can see the good in Edward and I'm begging for more of it to come out.

Now, this fic may be rated M, but as of yet Elemental is light on the citrus. However, the closeness needed (yes, I said needed) by Edward and Bella is something I love reading about, and as ScarlettLetters said, I can't wait for these two to get a little more comfortable around each other, grow to actually like one another...and then do the hippity dippity. *waggles eyebrows*

If you're looking for an extremely unique read, something that is heavier on the plot than the smut, then Elemental is right up your alley.

3.2 out of 4 Elements (4/5)



I went into this fic not really knowing what to expect, other than knowing it was highly regarded in the fandom. I love TB, but to my shame had not got round to reading her stuff yet, for some strange reason I thought she was a HF/Angst writer! Silly me!

I really enjoyed Elemental, once I got my head used to the very different world that TB has woven for her Bella & Edward and the Cullen et al's. I really really really enjoyed the magic and bond to nature that permeates the tale and I like how we are as unclear as Bella in experiencing it and understanding it. TB has created her own world of magic, so like Bella we can not understand everything immediately. I like that feeling in a story where I do not know exactly what is happening or what will be next! I really really like this Bella, she is fallible, earnest and likeable without being a do gooding pain in the arse! She really is thrust into this world without understanding or context. I think this is done really well, & the scenes where TB writes about her imprinting are done particularly spectacularly! Her confusion and pain are handled magnificently. My heart was literally in my throat as I read on, so glad that I had more chapters ahead.

I really appreciate how well developed the supporting cast is. I don't think a single character is underdeveloped or 2D. I particularly enjoyed Emmett & Rosalie's characterisation and Bella's bond with them. I also really enjoyed Elizabeth & Edward Sr's dynamics. I am interested to know how the other coven members and Bella & Edward will interact going forward. Will Edward be protective, jealous or indifferent with regard to how others respond to Bella or how Bella responds to them?

I love the canon construct of Mates developed into the concept of Mates in Elemental. I think it works brilliantly. I am very intrigued by Bella and Edwards chemistry. Its not quite UST. But is beginning to burn a little. I get the impression that the more they use their elements together the more it will surge. But its obviously tied in to their emotions and feelings which need to be developed and worked through. I get the sense though that there is more there for Edward than there is for Bella despite her earlier thoughts and perceptions of Edward.

I love the connections between the different characters, particularly those between family & those special ones between mates. I love how different feelings manifest in different ways. No surprise to know that I particularly loved the honey feeling ones. Of course that particular one is still at a tentative if not developing point.

I really really enjoyed Elemental and know that this story is going to flourish and grow leaving me addicted and begging for updates. Its a slow burner of a story, but I can tell its really going to kick off soon. Its really well written and the characterisations are strong and the plot is very unique and thoughtfully considered. I can't wait to see where TallulahBelle takes this story!

3 and a pinch elements out of 4 from yours truly! (4/5)


I love stories that are different, stories that challenge me, and stories that make me think. Elemental meets all of those criteria, thankfully.

TallulahBelle drops Bella into a completely foreign and unfamiliar world, with her parents moving the family from Phoenix back to Forks. Bella finds out she's a Witch in a very powerful coven of thirteen families.

There are a lot of great twists on canon here, which is something I absolutely love. One great example is imprinting. Witches imprint, once they've over eighteen years old. They may have to wait until their mate is over legal age as well, but once they do, it's a bond for life. Rose and Emmett have imprinted, and Alice and Jasper are imprinted, so TB stays very true to canon pairings.

Edward and Bella, however, are a pretty contentious pair. Bella doesn't understand why Edward hates her all the time (we learn why this is in the most recent chapter, I believe), and when certain things happen between them, they are forced together.

This is really where the story shines, imho – the banter and interaction between Edward and Bella are by far my favorite moments, even when there isn't lemon juice being spritzed on them. I find myself pulling for these two, wanting them to be together, wanting them to each understand each other.

I'm also eager to get to the prologue, ngl. It was very action-packed, and I'm excited for that. I'm also eager for more citrusy goodness. This story balances on its own merits and shines without it, but I really find myself aching for them to be together and intimate in that way – it's the last way for these two connect, and I'm confident, after where the most recent chapter left off, that we'll get some soon. It doesn't even have to be graphic, I just want the two of them to experience that kind of pleasure and connection together.

3.2 out of 4 elements (4/5)


I'm not going to lie, this was the most unique fic I've read in a long time. The premise alone sounded interesting, and the more I got into the story, the more my interest was piqued. I've never read a fic piece that focused on magic, so this was all very new to me, and I found myself very pleasantly surprised by what I read.

Tallulah's incarnations of our favorite characters gave nearly every one of them a new twist. They were close enough to canon to be recognizable, yet not quite. There's an Edward who appears to be completely put off by Bella, but it feels like it lasts a much longer time than it did in Twi. Initially, Bella is completely turned off by Edward's aloof behavior, so they don't connect at all. In fact, their relationship, if they have one at all, is at best, polite indifference, and at worst, filled with animosity. Just underneath the surface, however, you can feel a kind of energy or tension between them, and it leads the reader to suspect that there is more going on here beneath the surface.

Emmett, Jasper, and Alice are all fairly recognizable. Rose, however, is someone Bella views as an ally, which is most unexpected and refreshingly enjoyable. In fact, Bella feels like she is the only person who will give her the straight story. Charlie is almost earthy rendition in temperament, but he is still the great Dad that Bella relies upon. Renee is preoccupied and self-absorbed, but we aren't sure what is behind all that. These twists serve to draw you in, pique your interest, and lead you to uncover bits of information as Tallulah doles it out.

Since the story is told from Bella's perspective, the reader spends just as much time in the dark as she does. In the beginning, all she understands is that the family has returned home to Forks, after having lived for years in Phoenix. No real explanation was given to her. From the time she arrives in Forks, her life becomes a complicated web, with bits of information unfolding slowly, so she feels lost and alienated, and part of a confusing new world. Her life as she knew it has changed completely, and she finds out that she is--as is the rest of her family--a witch.

As information is meted out bit by bit, she learns that witches in their coven are "mated" with each other, similar to the imprinting process Stephenie Meyers portrayed in Twilight. This occurs only after a witch reaches the age of 18. There is no control or choice in the matter; nature chooses the two of you to be joined together. What I loved about Tallulah's idea is that it was so similar to an arranged marriage--you don't know who your mate will be, but you are suddenly forced to bind together during a ritual. the way she describes the discovery process between a mated pair is spot on; it captures all the awkwardness of getting to know someone who you will be linked to for the remainder of your life. Turning down a mate is simply not an option, and there is no independent choice.Bella is extremely resistant about her impending 18th birthday, and the idea of being mated with someone else from the Coven. I won't spoil the surprises by revealing more than this; it is so worth the wait to discover it for yourself.

As I read along, I found myself drawn in more and more; I wanted resolution, but just kept getting sucked in deeper and deeper. Naturally, I also wanted sweet, juicy lemon goodness from my favorite pair, but Tallulah Belle is an epic tease and keeps us poised on the precipice chapter after chapter. Usually, I start to get annoyed with the teasing after awhile, but not in this story. It makes perfect sense in the way it all unfolds in front of you.

I feel like every chapter that provided me with semi-answers to the questions I had only served to create new questions in my mind. It is that approach that keeps you at the edge of your seat, imagining how the story might play out. When I reached the end, I was not only disappointed, but so hungry for more. I'm going to be a very naughty reader, and leave the kind of comment that drives authors to drink; if you are listening, Tallulah Belle, I'm shouting this from the rooftops: UPDATE SOON!! PLEASE! TYVM. I'm so enjoying this story and I cannot wait for more!

4 out of 4 Elements (5/5)

I found this and TB on my thread on Twilighted lol. Her story banner looked interesting and after talking with her a bit, I started Elemental...

So glad I did.

It's different, interesting and something that sucked me in straight away. Having zero knowledge of anything witchcraft or supernatural related had me worried in the beginning thinking I'd be completely lost. It's one of the great points of TB's writing, while it's beautifully detailed, it's not overpowering and confusing to a layman.

It's a mystery and that being said, I'll tread lightly on what I do and do not give away but it's a magical mystery that can't be missed. I found myself reading and re-reading sections on the edge of my seat out of frustration between Bella and Edward (since they've got such an unusual and not often done relationship). Renee gah, nevermind. Carlisle... nuff' said from me. Rose and Em all of them are perfectly done.

Elemental to me is an onion fic, layers and layers of fine details, witty banter and burning tension. The revelation of Bella's earthly powers (and those of her parents) is a great twist, the canon parallels and what UST is there is fantastic. I feel like in reading Elemental, I'm *in* the story, it's that in depth.

The characters: Edward was such a huge shithead in the beginning, and again with the layers, he evolved so much and I still think there is a ton left to come from him. Bella is a character that I struggle with when it comes to certain characterizations but TB doesn't disappoint. She's realistic even in a world that is so magical. I love that aspect of her work. Their relationship though is something that I can't seem to get enough of.


I'd like to thank TB and her amazing readers as well for their commitment to FGB! Once again Team Elemental is in full force! xo

3.2/4 Elements (4/5)


As one of the honorary pervs this month, I was excited to delve into our new fic recommendation. Elemental is a title I’d seen around the fandom from time-to-time.

Tallulah does a good job of setting up the story with all the necessary details from the beginning but without giving too much away. One of the things I enjoyed about this was the mystery of it all. Her exclusive writing from Bella’s POV keeps us in the dark as we learn more about what’s happening in the suspiciously sleepy town of Forks. The story takes a direct turn into AU from the start with revealing that Bella is a witch (an Earth witch to be exact) -- as are her mother and father. As the lovely Ms. Kathy mentioned, Tallulah does a great job of taking canon pieces and tweaking them to create something new and unique. Everything from imprinting to Edward’s immediate dislike of Bella comes out to play in Elemental.

The story can drag for those who are impatient to unravel mysteries (like me) and for those who are looking for lots of lemonade and UST. There is very little of the citrusy action but if you enjoy well-written Bella and Edward banter it should hold you off until things progress a little further. It’s well-written and the chapters are relatively long for those who enjoy a long read.

2.4 out of 4 Elements (3.5/5)

The Art of Worship by GreenPuma

The Art of Worship

Green Puma

5

14,421

248

“As a Cullen you were born with certain—endowments—that dispose you to success with women. But, there is a beauty in sex which, if you grew to appreciate it—an art which, if you commited to learning it—would bring you such pleasure as mortals never know"

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Hermia-j

The Art of Worship is a story that captures the thrill of a first relationship and the ongoing thrill of a good long-term marriage. Edward and Bella are still teens, experimenting with the first thrill of sexual exploration, while Carlisle and Esme share the grand passion of a good marriage. At the start of the story Carlisle takes Edward aside to school him in the "Cullen family wisdom" - great sex.

While the conversations between father and son are initially awkward, Carlisle imparts to Edward several important rules, the first of which is:

"The first, and most important, rule is that Cullen men don't fuck. Even when we are pounding away and pulling hair and tangled in the most depraved positions, we do not surrender to the monster. Cullen men surrender only to our devotion for the woman before us."

By the time he gets to rule #3 I guarantee every woman reading will be squirming in her seat. GreenPuma has given us Carlisle as sexy beast and caring father, trying to teach his son the art of "worshiping" his partner - physically, emotionally and mentally. Not to be outdone her Esme is a confident and vibrant woman, who seeks to share wisdom with Bella as well.

There are lemons galore in this fic, from the explorations and fumbling of Edward and Bella to the passionate knowledge of Carlisle and Esme. By the time you've hit chapter 3 you'll be wishing all men had fathers like Carlisle. The wisdom he imparts to Edward is sexy in itself, but even more passionate in practice.

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To start, let me state that this review is coming from someone who was never given a "sex talk". In fact, I think my dad still likes to believe I am a virgin (been married 13 yrs and have 2 kids). I can only imagine the level of mortification a kid can feel going into such a talk, but I felt as I read this, that Carlisle was very tactful, and very...descriptive. I love the cut to the chase attitude dulled by a glass of scotch.

Part of me, while reading wondered if all of our sex lives would be better with such a candid conversation between parents. Not the "abstinence is the only way" or a simple lecture on birth control to keep yourself and your partner healthy and baby free, but a conversation about the act. To be taught that when you go into a sexual relationship with selflessness on the forefront, everybody wins. That it is important to care for your partner. That gentle gradual beginnings teach you not only the secrets of yours and the other person's pleasure, but is a trust building exercise as well.

Granted most of the sexy times are between Carlisle and Esme, which are smokin' hot. Sorry, Nina, they are. I like how she is balancing the story as we watch two seasoned lovers and the pleasure you experience when you know your partner like you know yourself to the two young lovers just starting to figure things out.

Also, the latest chapter...

"Dad, I think I'm in love."

His expression was still dreamy, and I could only chuckle.

"I thought we'd already established that."

"Not just with Bella, dad. I've been reading that book you gave me. I've been practicing what it says."

"And?"

He didn't even find it in him to blush.

"And, I can't stop licking her pussy."

*falls out of chair*

4 out of 5


Art of Worship has been on my radar for a while - having been selected as a possible WP rec for quite some time (that's right, WP's, this is safe for you to read!). And while I did enjoy what GreenPuma did with this fic, I will admit to suspending my reality to be able to thoroughly enjoy it. In real life, I would be uncomfortable with the level of sexual discussion (and bluntness) that went on between father and son (and Esme and Bella, for that matter), but in the suspended reality of the fic, I was able to laugh and go with the flow, enjoying the fic for what it is - a lighthearted portrayal of sex ed from the good old 'rents.

I will say that (much to Nina's dismay, I'm sure) this is one of the very few fics that Carlisle is actually sexy to me. A major reason is because he knows his shit. I mean, he's giving pointers to an awkward and fumbling Edward, but besides that, we - ahem - get to see him put some of his moves to practice with the previous Cullen woman who got to benefit from The Art of Worship.

While Edward and Bella haven't actually hit a home run in this fic as of yet, we do get a lot of steamy pre-sex activities to enjoy. And, like Emmy said, some fics don't get this hot with chapters upon chapters of full-on smut.

This is a short, fun and hot read, and if you can suspend reality for a little bit while you dig into this, I know you'll enjoy it.

4 out of 5 rules


I don't think there is anything as sexy as the Cullen men. So when GreenPuma, messes with the dynamics a wee bit, and makes Carlisle even more debonair & Edward just a little bit more awkward and unsure? Well feck me dead. Its a lethal so fricking hot I might just pass out combination. Seriously. They have not reached the physical penetration stage of lemon in this story. BUT. What the story does have so far, is hotter than many stories achieve through long chapters and explicit lemons. As the conversations and scenes in this fic, as Edward tutored by his father learns how to please his lover.

"You are a Cullen, and were therefore born with certain natural—endowments—that predispose you to success with women. But, there is a beauty in sex which, if you could only grow to appreciate it—an art which, if you could only commit to learning it—will bring you and the women in your life such divine fulfillment as most mortals never know. It is the art of worship, Edward, and it has very little to do with sex."

His gaze was as intense and I could barely breathe, much less process my surprise at this cache of Cullen family wisdom. Carlisle was subtle most of the time, but when he wasn't he could be quite intimidating. It didn't help that he'd hit the nail on the head about my need for some, erm…guidance. The truth was, I'd been consumed with worry about pleasing Bella.

"So, I ask you again, son. Have you and Bella been intimate with one another?"

I shook my head in sheepish truth.

"But, you plan to be."

I nodded.

"Very good…" he smiled, polishing off the rest of his glass, "…then, there's still time."

See what the feck I mean? H.O.T. As in my breaths getting deeper & my blouse getting a bit uncomfortable as my knockers swell at the thought...

Carlisle in this is Hot. Edward in this is Hot. But they are hot in different ways. Carlisle is assured, determined and controlling yet caring. Edward in contrast is a bit awkward, very eager to learn and please and a little bit skeptical. Until he see's the fruit of his labour and his fathers words of wisdom really really reap him rewards..

And with wisdom such as this from his sexy father, how could he fail?

"I won't lie—this can be difficult when you are young, when you are tempted to be with women with whom you share little but lust, when your hormones threaten to possess your entire being and care for yourself without regard to your partner."

"I am completely devoted to Bella," I said with conviction.

One day, sooner than anyone thought, I was going to ask that girl to marry me. Carlisle nodded his approval.

"Then, you're ready for the second rule: always take care of her first. Bring her all the pleasure she can stand before you go seeking yours."

*gasp* See what I mean?

This fic is a breeze to read, at only 5 chapters so far, and only another few planned, and is tremendously enjoyable.

But there is more to this story than just yummy conversations about foreplay. We get to see(well read) the rewards of this father-son tutoring. But even more than this, this story is infused with love and warmth and tenderness. Of the relationship, lovers kind but also of the familial kind too. The main theme of this story is definitely the benefit of love and communication to make all aspects of intimacy better. I think that is something we should all be signed up to.

5 out of 5 from me!


One of the fun things about fan fic, or fiction in general, is that we can remake the world in the way we wish it worked. I know that there are many women who wish that men were taken aside at a certain age and taught how to have sex. Hell, if someone could just show them where the fucking clit is, and what it that could have saved me a lot of uncomfortable experiences in my early days.

Art of Worship begins with Carlisle talking to Edward about sex, and I have to be honest I was a little weirded-out, but as the scene continued I found myself smiling. We’ve all been through these types of awkward talks when we her teenagers and I could relate to Edward a lot in the scene. The story takes a distinct turn from an awkward teen comedy into something deeper, and richer, quite quickly.

We get to see a very sensual side of Carlisle and an adorably flustered side of Edward. Learning what a woman wants or better yet, needs is not an easy task, but the Cullen men take on the task with zeal and reverence. I really enjoyed the contrast in the sexual interactions between Bella and Edward versus Carlisle and Esme. This story is a wonderful escape and a very sexy on at that.

So sit back, grab a glass of scotch and learn about the Art of Worship. Who knows you might learn a thing or two. ;)

3 out of 5 rules

I was nervous about The Art of Worship; Carlisle giving Edward sex advice, you have to confess, has the potential to be very squicky. Thankfully, there is almost nothing squick-worthy in Art of Worship. At just over 14k, AoW is a quick read. It's also happy, makes you laugh out loud, and there are some very hot scenes/references. So, pretty much, this is the ideal MsK story. I haven't cried once!

The opening scenes with Edward and Carlisle are done so well and so believable. Edward secretly idolizes his dad, even though he knows it's not really cool. Their conversation is awkward, even while lubricated with scotch. I also confess, I totally love the idea of a parent treating their child as an intelligent, thinking person. At some point, most of us are going to have sex (I hope), and wouldn't it be much better to know certain tricks or secrets? How many of us would have had much different first experiences had we known just a few things?

I don't want to repeat all the rules; that would spoil half the fun of reading, I think, just trust me... they're awesome. Love this closing line to chapter 1, though:

"In the meantime, son…practice."

And he does. He really, really does. Chapter 2:

"Please, Bella…" he beseeched, his blue-green irises hypnotic as pendulums, "I want to know what drives you mad. Show me..."

One of the things I liked most is that the characters aren't lost to the smut. The characterizations stay accurate and true, with Carlisle getting bolder in his language use, but still embarrassing Edward (on purpose or accident), each chapter. As they progress and Edward learns to trust what Carlisle is telling him, his questions get bolder.

I also really enjoyed that in chapter 2, Carlisle points out something to Edward about Bella – I love the idea of an observant parent that isn't afraid to pass on the tidbit of info.

Love that Bella a) admits to Edward that she masturbates, and b) isn't terrified to do it in front of him. It's very clear that she wants to show him, wants to share with him, and I like that. There's no trepidation or hesitation or convincing.

I confess, I giggled at Edward in chapter 3:

By the time I remembered my own arousal, what to do turned out to be moot. I'd come in my fucking pants.

Totally realistic, I thought.

Who doesn't want a partner like Carlisle in chapter 4? I think that's just about all I have to say about that. It was nice to see EsmePOV as well, and her thoughts on Carlisle and The Rules.

We just got into some great parts of the story, and with only two more chapters left, I am eager to see where else the author takes us.

4 out of 5 rules.


My rec must be prefaced with the fact that I teach sex ed to middle schoolers and senior high students at my Unitarian church. I'm also a nurse, as most of you know. With that in mind, I have to be honest and say that my interest was quite piqued by the premise of The Art of Worship. I wasn't disappointed by what Green Puma delivered.

The most intriguing aspect of this story was that the Cullen men have historically passed on their sexual skills and talents to the next generation. 17 YO Edward is getting close to having sex with Bella soon, so Carlisle pulls him aside for a man-to-man talk about all this entails. Not birds and bees stuff, but specifics on how to please a woman.

Never mind the fact that having said conversations with one's parents would be 10 shades of embarrassing, because it would. But does that mean such conversations shouldn't happen? Being the mom of a soon-to-be 16 YO boy, we've had many discussions about the mechanics of how everything works, and I can appreciate that although they are not always easy conversations to have, they are essential in my book. There are so many of us who grew up unable to even talk about sex with our parents. Too many people experience shame and guilt over being sexual creatures. Having knowledge about the finer points of sex would have been so helpful along the way.

To be sure, the first time Edward and Carlisle sit down together, it is awkward and embarrassing, especially for Edward. When they finally get past the most awkward part of the conversation, Carlisle sums it up for Edward:

But, there is a beauty in sex which, if you could only grow to appreciate it—an art which, if you could only commit to learning it—will bring you and the women in your life such divine fulfillment as most mortals never know. It is the art of worship, Edward, and it has very little to do with sex.

Now, I ask you, dear fellow perv, what woman wouldn't want a lover who understood the art of worship? Doesn't everyone deserve to experience "divine fulfillment"? I believe they do, and it is that aspect of this fic that drew me in. When Edward is able to make Bella come for the first time, Carlisle explains how significant that is to Edward in such a matter of fact way:

Son, do you know how many husbands can't make their wives come? How many women have never even had an orgasm? How many rely on toys and masturbation for whatever crumbs they can get?

Yep. Everyone should have the chance to know how to make sex fulfilling.

After their first meeting, Carlisle counsels Edward to "practice" with Bella, which I found rather endearing. Oh, and rather hot. VERY hot. We get the chance to watch their experiences from both Bella's and Edward's POVs, and it is quite rewarding to know exactly how their practice affects both of them.

After each practice session, Carlisle and Edward debrief, and Edward gets some pointers on how to improve for the next time. These situations get gradually less awkward as time goes on, and Carlisle bursts with pride at how well Edward is adopting The Rules. In the last chapter, when Edward admits he's afraid to have Bella reciprocate when they have oral sex, Carlisle advises his son with a new rule:

If the woman to whom you are committed begs to give you a blow job, for the love of God, you are to take it...

And so goes another of The Rules, son: learn to give and take.

Yeah. What he said. Give and take, AKA The Art of Worship. Sigh.

4 out of 5 Rules


I'm a fan of Carlisle. *gasp, shock, what?* I know, you're stunned. Anyhoodle. GP sets the story off right with this little disclaimer (that I do happen to be fond of myself... snicker)

A/N: They don't call Carlisle "Hot Bitch" for nothin'…

Now, I'll preface this by saying there are probably 10 total fics that I'll read that have detailed lemons involving Hot Bitch and 'shewhomustnotbenamed', this is one of the 5 that I enjoyed and didn't want to claw my eyes out. More on that in a bit.

Eddie boy is nervous. He's a virgin and Carlisle - the original DILF - is his 'instructor' of sorts. Sure it has oogie potential but I just get right over that by focusing on Carlisle talking about boning.

Yes, I am a piggy.

So, all the Cullen men are 'gifted' and these endowments are not only passed along to each generation but they're given the talk to make sure that they continue to be the best possible lover to their partner. The rules of worship are discussed - at length - in Carlisle's study over Scotch and uncomfortable tension but whatever. Once again, I focus on Carlisle. Shock. I know. Get over it.

He basically in a nutsack tells Edward to ask her what she wants, to listen to her and to pay attention and he'll please her no matter what because they're in love. It may not be the most erotic language but Christ it's hot. From Bella after Carlisle's first lesson...

"I like it when you bite my shoulder…"

"…and when you run your fingers down my legs…"

"Fuck...and when you lick my ankles."

Ahem.

You want more??? Okay.

"Tell me, love," he murmured between kisses, "I want to know what you want."

The backs of his fingertips began grazing my cheeks.

"I want to hear your fantasies," he continued, dropping tiny kisses along my jaw.

I barely heard my own soft whimper.

"I want to know how you touch yourself when you think of me."He traced his nose down the side of my neck.

"I want to memorize the look on your face and the sound of your voice when you come."

I moaned as he kissed his way back up.

"Will you let me?" he whispered once he reached my ear.

*dies*

Okay so while Eddie and Bella the blushing virgins have hit a homer yet. Carlisle and 'shewhomustnotbenamed' certainly have.

I licked—just licked—inside her warmth, but with a zeal and practiced finesse that left us both panting

.

4.5/5 Hot Bitches from me. ;)


I have no idea how one short little fic like this can be simultaneously so hot and so adorable at the same time. No clue. And yet, it exists! For the first chapter, I couldn't tell if I was more turned on or more embarrassed for Edward. And, seriously, why is it so damn sexy for guys to tell us exactly what it is they are going to do to us right before they do it? Please tell me I'm not alone in being a complete sucker for a little dirty talk. And bonus - both Edward and Carlisle do their fare share of ... describing.

I absolutely fell in love with the premise of this story; that as Cullen men, Carlisle and Edward have been gifted a legacy, a responsibility, and rules required to properly please their women. And the time has come for Carlisle to teach young Edward the "rules." At first, Edward's embarrassment is palpable. But when Edward starts seeing results in his ... relations with Bella, well, let's just say he loosens up a bit and actually seeks out Carlisle's sage advice.

We are also gifted with multiple perspectives that give us just enough insight to help the story move forward, as well has ... increase the reading pleasure. The transitions between the perspectives is seamless and works perfectly to enhance the ... experience of reading. From Bella, we're lucky enough to imagine what it is like to have Edward learning how to please us ...

"I want to hear your fantasies," he continued, dropping tiny kisses along my jaw.

I barely heard my own soft whimper.

"I want to know how you touch yourself when you think of me."

He traced his nose down the side of my neck.

"I want to memorize the look on your face and the sound of your voice when you come."

I moaned as he kissed his way back up.

"Will you let me?" he whispered once he reached my ear.

And with Edward, we get to hear all his dirty, delicious thoughts as he learns the ins and outs of Bella's body. As per Carlisle's suggestion, Edward asks Bella to show him how she likes to be touched, and viewing the scene through his eyes is amazingly erotic. And even though this is one of the most erotic stories I've read in a long time, it is also laced with humor and reality, as this little tidbit demonstrates ...

My eyes flew to her face in time to witness the magnificence of her release, all arching backs and helpless cries, all aftershocks and bonelessness, and a final indolent sigh.

By the time I remembered my own arousal, what to do turned out to be moot. I'd come in my fucking pants.

And the conversation between Edward and Carlisle that follows is simply adorable and hilarious.

There is also a delicious chapter that gives us a glimpse of how Carlisle applies the "rules" in his own relationship with his wife, Esme. Lucky bitch. But with the arrival of Esme's character, also provides us with another perspective that adds wonderfully to the story.

The chapters are short, but you're not left wanting. This is definitely a story you'll want to come back to time and time again. It's not complete, yet, and I eagerly await each and every update that is to follow. I'll admit that I wasn't quite sure what I was getting in to at first with this fic, but I should have known better than to doubt the ladies of the PPSS. This is not a fic you'll want to ignore.

5 out of 5.




Well then...

Art School Confidential by farkle

Art School Confidential

farkle

18

102,067

1,657

Bella finds her artistic muse and total embarrassment in person of life model Edward. How can she get him to model for her when he thinks she is a sex-crazed flake? AU-AH, M for nudity, language, lemons. Canon pairings.

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MrsDazzled

OMG- I am so excited to be reviewing Art School Confidential by farkle, one of my all-time favorite fanfics, which, it just so happens, I also beta. Although I use the term “beta” loosely- as I’m sure Irritable Grizzzly (who also betas this story) would agree, farkle is such a fantastic writer, my beta services are barely needed.

Art School Confidential is based loosely on farkle’s own art school experience. Bella is an art school student. Edward, due to a lost bet, is her class’ nude model. Mmmmm. Nude Edward. In the very first chapter. And many thereafter. Awesomeness. Turns out that Edward is also friends with Jasper and Emmett, who are in art school with Bella. Edward agrees to model one-on-one for Bella in exchange for a painting. They start off as friends with sexual tension, which of course, turns into friends with benefits.

And oh, the benefits. You have to read the story to truly enjoy them but talk about being all hot and bothered. My God! Each lemon leaves me panting and wanting a brooding nude model Edward of my very own. Imagine Bella, topless in her studio space at the art school, painting a nude Edward.

It was the work of a lover, not an artist. Even though we hadn't touched… since waking this morning, I felt that every brush stroke had been a caress, every glance had been like his hands on me.

But there’s so much more to this story than naked Edward. farkle has developed complex, multi-faceted characters, relationships, and situations. The way she writes makes you feel as if you are a part of the story. Her writing is smart, mature, and real. The story is entirely Bella’s point of view. Bella is cool, snarky, awkward, passionate, and has a habit of putting her foot in her mouth. Edward is smart, mysterious, and intriguing. I love that we never quite know what he’s thinking. And he wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle. And rolls his own cigarettes. It doesn’t get much better than this, folks.

And hard as it is to believe, the best is yet to come. So run, don’t walk, your horny butt to read farkle’s Art School Confidential. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to tell farkle how great she is :o)

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Irritable Grizzzly

I have recc'd this story to anyone who will listen.

farkle has taken the time to develop her characters and make them come to life. She's given Edward and Bella, and even the supporting cast, so much dimension. Bella, who is so often relegated to "damsel in distress," here is an amazing woman. She has a life and a real career outside of Edward.

Edward is not your "Perfect Edward" but not "Douchebag Edward" either. Like all people, he's had events in his life that have shaped who he is and thus has a programmed way of dealing with things.

The slow build of Edward and Bella's relationship is awesome. Two people who are obviously drawn to each other, but due to so many misguided notions, completely deny their real feelings. So the angst is not based on what I like to call "manufactured drama" (or angst based on misunderstandings, etc.). If you pay close attention, you'll know what's coming and just like in a horror movie where you wanna yell "NO! Don't look in the closet!" you'll have the urge to scream at your monitor, "don't say it!" but they wouldn't be the character if they didn't, and thus you have some amazingly beautiful heartbreaking moments.

The lemons? They aren't "paint-by-numbers" or "let's stop the action so they can have sex again". Not only are they beautifully written, but also integral to the plot. You feel the lovemaking on an emotional level. To me, that's the sign of an author truly connected to her characters.

I could go on all day gushing about Nudeward and Paintella. I want her Bella to be my best friend and I wanna climb her Edward like a jungle gym. I also kinda have a girl-crush on the author. Shhhh...don't tell her.

---

Every once in a while a story comes along that tests our ability to accept unconventional ideals of what constitutes a happy relationship. When characters don't fit the mold. Where they don't desire the house and kids. This story is one of those. Both Bella and Edward are free spirits. Bella is an ambitious art student who is striving for greatness in her craft. Is almost married to it. Edward is a man who has lived in a small enclave and is looking for his great adventure.

Their paths cross when Edward comes in to model for one of Bella's art class. Though it is not traditional sexual desire for him that eventually causes Bella to pursue Edward. It is the inspiration that he pulls from her and into her brush. Bella has found her muse, and doesn't want to lose sight of the magic his is eliciting from her work. A deal for private modeling leads these two to realize that they are kindred spirits in their need to explore and be free. Edward physically, Bella creatively.

All the time together brings them together for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. Painting by day and entwined bodies at night. Bella realizes that she has come to love Edward. Not only as her friend, but as a lover. She is not looking to tie him down. She wants to love him as he is. Past experience has Edward confused and limited in his interpretation of what love means.

Will he realize there is more than one way to love? Will these lovers find their own definition of happiness? Only chapters will tell.

4 out of 5 Big & Pretties


So...Stephie put this on our "potential recs" list a while ago and one day a couple of months ago, I dove in and checked it out. And...I didn't come up again until I had finished it. I inhaled this sucker. I love this fic so much it's in my top ten right now. TOP TEN, PPL. So, I owe Stephie an epic bewbie grope for that.

From the beginning, farkle had me intrigued with the set-up in the fic. A naked Edward right off the bat? Yes, please, and thank you! I also love all of the characters - from a snarky and strong-willed Bella to a brooding, mysterious Edward, I was smitten from the get-go.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again - if there's one thing I love more than fucking in a fic, it's good, solid, well-written UST. And...this fic is overflowing with it. Seriously. It's coming out of its ears. And, honestly, how could it not be? Bella paints Edward....NAKED... Have I mentioned that already? Oh...my bad.

Another huge plus for me in this is that it is strictly from Bella's perspective. While I absolutely adore hearing Edward's thoughts, I also love not knowing part of the story - it adds to the intrigue and interest in my book and makes me salivate all the more for any morsel of information she gives out. It also leaves several unanswered questions looming above us and I love trying to figure all that out.

Now...don't let me mislead you into thinking this fic doesn't have any smut with all the talk of plot and UST...because, well, it SO TOTALLY does.

His hands were spreading my thighs, opening me like a book on the dark purple comforter. He was moving over me, working his way slowly up from my groin to my neck. He bit gently at my neck, breathed heavily behind my ear, and then kissed his way up to my lips, capturing me in a kiss that turned me completely to rubber.

While his lips and mine moved together, his hand was exploring my lower half. He didn't go straight for the goods, but neither did he seem to be avoiding touching me there.

Rather, it was as if he was connecting the dots of some strange and private treasure hunt, so that with each movement of his fingers and thumb, another switch was tripped, another connection made, until I was lit up like a fucking Christmas tree. From my waist to my ass, around to my inner thigh, fingertips moving from the tender join between hip and groin, and then up to my belly. It was like he was laying claim to every naked inch of me.

That was their FIRST encounter. You can tell a lot about the characters in well-written smut - if the author lets you - and I think the sexual situations in this fic speak volumes about who they really are with each other.

So, we've got good plot, good characters and good smut...what more could you ask for?

4.5 out of 5 nude models


Jesus fucking christ. Dear pervlings, this week I became obsessed. Obsessed with a fic I hadn't read before. A fic that my dear Button (Stephie, aka 4theluvofmary) had been raving about forever! I stupidly had put off reading it. Fearing I would be to angsted by it. I have to say, I read every chapter in fear of pending HF. It is pretty clear from the beginning that these two are destined for a bumpy ride (along with hot flipping riding of the sexy kind!). So wusspervs I will say - the last chapter hurt my heart. The next chapter will probably shatter it completely, but you still HAVE TO READ this fic - as its so flipping good it has consumed me.

I don't think it is just me that has been consumed by it btw! I don't think we have had so many discussion emails about a fic since The Submissive (& before we all hit twitter and discuss fics all the time with one another and our chums). There have been so many emails pinging back and forth regarding ASC, what's going to happen next, what is the hottest scene etc etc!

(Chapter 16 btw, jic you are wondering... ;) )
(though chapters 15 & 14 come close!)

This Edward? Holy fecking shite! He is gorgeous! Hot, stunning, sexy, broody, wild, tortured, intelligent, sexy, primal, rides a bike, has a HUGE cock.... Need I go on? And on and on and on... *sigh* he is divine. But actually Bella in this fic makes it. She is a truly likeable and enjoyable main character. Her pov's are so interesting to read. Her journey through this fic is important, as of course is Edward's. I don't want to reveal too much about their journey, as to read it & experience it is key to the pleasure and mind, heart and soul gripping that reading this fic does to you!

So I will tease you with this wee jem to tempt and tease you:

"You're beautiful, Bella. Let me see you."

Slowly I peeled off my t-shirt, and stood there in my plain black bra. Demurely, he put his hand on his thickening penis. I could see the lust in his clear green-glass eyes. Eyes that seemed to look into and through me. Somehow, with that look, my self-consciousness vanished. I raised my brush and painted, even as my groin ached."

See what I mean? Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Emmy is dead. Seriously Farkle has my heart at the moment. This story is beautifully written, BRILLIANT characterisation and characters and it has an emotional clarity and intensity that is barely seen in fics. Read this or seriously miss out. Don't be a fecking dipshit! READ IT!

5 Big & Pretties out of 5! (it will get brucey bonus points if I get a HEA!) <3


First off, this was probably the hardest review for me write...ever. I'm a huge believer in letting our readers discover the beauty and mystery of a story for themselves without us spilling the beans so to speak. That's a big part of reading for me, discovering the characters for myself, the twist and turns of the plot, the slow build towards finally being together. Why would we want to ruin it for you? That's no fun.

So, what do I do here? Because I could seriously go on and on and on about this story; the plot, the setting, the narrative, the depth of the characters, etc... It's quite a predicament. sigh. I[m gonna be vague, deal.

I guess I'll start with the characters. Farkle writes her characters with a depth that is rarely seen in fanficion. Even though we might not see it all, there is a reason behind their actions, mannerisms, behavior and personalities. These characters are fully realized. It's a testament to farkle's talent really. Edward and Bella both have pasts with hurt and pain and longing to simply be understood for who they are. They find it in each other, though they don't realize it at first and maybe still don't. sigh. It's not contrived or cliched misunderstandings that keep form seeing, it's themselves and their preconceived notions of each other.

Bella lives for her art. Not being an artist or creating is not even a possibility for her. She must be what she is, an artist. One day in class a nude model changes things for her. Through a series of events he becomes her model. She becomes obsessed with him, but not in a stalker type way. He is her muse, her artistic passion. She sees him as a fiery angel sent to inspire her art and her long dead sexual side.

Now Edward, Edward in a way is trying to escape the life that others want for him. Trying to find and define himself as a writer, a man, an individual. He thinks he knows what he needs to do, what his journey is. But this girl, this beautiful, crazy, enchanting, talented girl makes him question himself and the journey he thinks he needs to take.

Wow, that sounded really heavy. And yes the story is heavy, but the lightness of the characters personalities and their humor balance out the berevity. Creating a wonderful mix of light and deep and funny and passionate and simple loveliness. sigh. I really do love it.

These kids have a ton of adventures; Disneyland, Rocky Horror, a surprise trip to Vegas and there is a future trip to the Gay Pride Parade planned. hehe. Jasper in Assless Chaps, that's all I'm saying.

Now the smut. This is a very slow building story. It takes several chapters for these two to even admit that they like each other, let alone flirt or touch or anything. But it's so worth the wait. The build to it is natural and realistic and makes it kinda perfect. And when they do finally get down to the business of doing it, nothing is held back. They go full force and don't stop. Here's a little taste:

"I let him guide me back to my room and under the comforter. He crawled up my body like a wild animal. In the dim dawn light we touched almost lazily, but soon that laziness, fell away and we grappled with each other frantically.

His strong hands were everywhere, and with each touch on sensitive skin, I felt my control spiral away until I was nearly growling as his lips locked onto my nipple and his hands gripped me. My nails scratched his scalp and he made guttural noises in response to my own. We were feral creatures, beyond any words or affectionate gestures.

And that's just a snippet! Oh and Edward has a HUGE dick!

5 out of 5 Big & Pretties from moi!


One of the things that I remember learning in Art Studio 101, my freshman year in college, was that I am not an artist. I could draw, and even paint well enough, but my art I lacked what my teacher called an “artistic voice.” A painting or drawing isn’t a photograph. It is the artist showing you’re their vision, letting you into their mind. Art should resonate with people on emotional level.

This is accomplished masterfully by farkle. In Art School Confidential, we see an artist, Bella, on the verge of finding her artistic voice. This is part of the genius of her choice in writing this story only from Bella’s point of view. We see the world, and more importantly Edward through her eyes, and through her art.

I love this story on so many levels I hardly know where to start the list. Farkle does an amazing job of portraying the detailed process of painting and sketching, without slowing down the story or loosing the reader. In fact, you could learn quite a bit about painting from this story. I love how Bella’s work shows us so much about here she is emotionally through out the story, without actually saying it. Each painting and sketched is described so well that I have no problem seeing them in my mind, and those images never fail to move me in indescribable ways.

The relationship between Bella and Edward is different than most conventional romantic stories, but that is one of the things I love the most about this story. Love isn’t always straightforward, and the road to happiness isn’t always easy. This is especially so for these two. Bella and Edward meet each other at very transitional point in both their lives, this does not, however, diminish the strength of their attraction for each other. While Bella often doesn’t allow herself to see it, there is a strong pull between them that is undeniable.

This story will capture you from the beginning of the first chapter. It will charm you with it’s humor and cut open your chest with it’s unflinching portrayal of a an intense relationship. The sexual tension in this story is scorching, there were times that I would find myself blushing while reading parts that didn’t even involve sex. When the sex actually happens I couldn’t even been in the same room with other people while I read it.

Art School Confidential has quickly climbed to the top of my fav fan fic list. I promise you, if you give it a chance it will probably be at the top of your list too.

I give it 5 out of 5 bananas. ;)


I was hesitant to read this story; while I am crafty, I'm not artsy. Artsy people intimidate me. They all seem so smart, and so talented, and I wondered if I would really even be able to get into the story. I should also confess, though, I love art. I pretend to be a collector, and I especially love to support new artists. I have oil triptychs from Etsy, acrylics I've bought from people on the street in Seattle, framed giclée gallery pieces (and more!) all hanging around my house.

Having said that, Farkle shakes things up, and I was in love by the end of chapter 1. You don't have to know a damn thing about art or art school to fall in love with this story.

Hands down, some of the best things farkle does in Art School Confidential are her characterization and the slow build of the relationship between Edward and Bella. There are a lot of things she does right, though, and I feel confident saying this is one of the best-written, smartest, and engrossing stories I've read in a very long time.

Bella and Edward spend time getting to know each other, and their friendship is not instantaneous or Earth-shattering, blinding lust from the very beginning. Don't get me wrong – Bella lusts for Edward, but she's very stuck in this mindset that she has no time/energy/inclination for love. She's had men, as she says in chapter 6:

Lust was no stranger to me and I wasn't beyond satisfying that lust, by myself or with someone else. There were a few guys I had dated or slept with. Sometimes even both. I shied away from anything serious.

Chapter 5 reveals:

I'd never fallen for anyone. Even the guys I had gotten into bed with had never really been more than fuck buddies.

I really liked this setup, because I think Bella falls for him without ever consciously realizing it, something so new for this fandom. Usually she's head over heels and ready to spawn 2.5 seconds after meeting him.

Also, one of the great things about this story is that the author isn't simply writing to hear herself type, as is often the case. There are no unnecessary details or chapters here, everything feels really needed. Everything adds to the story.

Another thing I really love about Art School Confidential is that it's very smartly written, but I never feel like the author is shoving her smartness down my throat. Sometimes, a story is so fucking pretentious,and while I get the clear feeling the author is extremely intelligent, she's not trying to impress me with it – it's simply a facet of her writing. And God, do I love smart writing.

The first kiss was so worth the wait, even though it was brief and mostly friendly. It was perfect. It fit these two, and the timing was right.

The lemons were the same: perfect, well-timed, and just … perfect. I don't even want to write a ton about them, because I can never do them justice. Just read them.

These crazy kids go to Vegas and have fun, which was delightful to read. The smutty times AND the non-smutty times were fun.

NGL, the most recent chapter is pure heartfail, but if you're like me, read it, get a good cry in, and wait anxiously for the next update. I trust farkle. I trust farkle. I trust farkle.

5 out of 5 Big & Pretty Nude Models


I'm going to make my feelings for Art School Confidential known, as loud and proud as Jasper wearing assless chaps in the gay pride parade, in the very first sentence of my rec: I fucking love this story. As my fellow Pervs know, I don't often fall in love with a story so hard, but ASC is one of the rare ones that captured my attention so fully, I just sat back and soaked it all in. It's beautifully, cleanly written, with deep, complex characters. You can imagine knowing these people--they're very real, and make very human mistakes as they attempt to figure out life.

Art School Confidential features Bella as a painter/art student, and Edward as a beautiful, incredibly well-endowed (naturally!) nude model. It turns out that Edward, Jasper, and Emmett have a history of making bets with each other, which is the reason Edward becomes a nude model at Bella's art school--he lost a bet. As the story unfolds, Edward starts modeling privately for Bella, and he becomes her muse of sorts. Her artwork improves substantially once she starts painting him.

They become good friends, and slowly slip into a sexual relationship, one they categorize as friends with benefits. *kimpy shakes her head at Bella's naievete* Bella, Bella, Bella--the cardinal rule is that, if you start having sex with Edward, you're going to fall in love with him. Just saying. You know, so you've been properly warned and all... It's like the conversation in When Harry Met Sally:

... men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way... Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.

ASC can be categorized as a lovely, slow burn. It's UST, but it is such a gradual, building UST that you don't realize how desperate it has become until you reach the day that Edward kidnaps Bella, she plays hooky, and they go to Disneyland. (An aside here, for Farkle: I love Disneyland. It is complete and utter win. The Matterhorn? LOVE it. However, from now on, whenever I am at Disneyland riding the Matterhorn, it will forever remind me of your Edward and Bella).

There is a moment when Bella climbs into the Matterhorn coaster, and Edward puts his arms around her, pulling her in close. I didn't realize how bad the UST had become, until I read this passage:

Edward slid his hands around my waist and pulled me tightly against his body. From shoulder to knee I was joined to him. It was like on the motorcycle, but in reverse, and his wide shoulders curled around me. I could feel the sharp bones of his pelvis against mine and the lump of his firm package pressing into my ass. A tremor of lust ran through me. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steel hand rails of the bobsled.

NGL, I caught myself clenching my thighs together while I read, nearly dying that they actually had such close physical contact. That's what I mean about slow burn--it isn't until some action takes place that you realize it has been just as intense as Edward's gaze when he looks at Bella. It's clear as daylight these two are in love with each other. Well, at least it is clear to anyone except Edward and Bella.

When the lemons finally arrive, it's like they're raining down from the heavens. Farkle does an incredible job writing lemons that are fresh and well-written. Her phrasing is divine. Despite the fact that the lemons are uber hot, they are also unique and different. In a sea made of lemonade, it is hard to differentiate oneself, but Farkle manages to do so with aplomb.

Another thing I loved about this story was that I got to gain access to a world about which I truly know very little. It was fascinating the way Farkle described so many different processes involved in creating art, like making a canvas. I loved how she described the difference between nude and naked. Nudes are simply another form to recreate via the artist's medium. Naked is what you feel when you have no clothing on. The way in which Edward makes Bella feel naked is beautifully characterized. To read a story that is interesting, hot, and enjoyable is one thing, but to be able to completely dive into a whole new world via a fic? That's like the whipped cream topping on a yummy dessert. Doesn't get any better than that!

The only semi negative thing I will admit to regarding this story is that I'm completely hanging after the last chapter, because it did not end happily. Now I'm going to be all sturm und drang until the next chappie arrives. Please Farkle, for the love of all that's holy, update soon!!

5 out of 5 Big and Pretty nude models

I wasn't sure about reading this story. I can't even really say why other than it scared me with the potential for heart fail. Hell, any story with the categories romance/angst means I'm going to be rocking fetal with beer in hand.

But yet everything about it, made me want to read it, even with the warnings that it wasn't WP safe. Seriously though, for as much as I fought tooth and nail to not read it I caved. It was honestly one of the best decisions of self-inflicted torture ever.

Obviously, I'm just busting balls for jokes but if I may be serious for a second, this story has literally taken over my brain in ways that I'm even embarrassed to admit. Farkle has written some of the strongest characterizations I've read in fic or otherwise. You feel everything, you imagine everything and it's staggering.

Immediately, though knowing literally jack shit about the art world, I was hooked. Not just because of a nekkid Eddie model but because of how vividly she writes the experiences and the classes. It's amazing how in depth she takes it all. Bella is just wonderful, truly one of my all time favorite characterizations of her. She's sharp and witty, determined and passionate, everything that draws dear Eddie boy in.

They're interactions are heavy on the UST and it's damn near stifling and when they finally do come together it does not disappoint. They insist on being friends but honestly, even in that first lemon you can tell it's not just friendly. The tenderness is just so beautifully written I feel like reading it again.

Okay, I'm back. :) Now, to be fair, I haven't read the last chapter per the WP warnings, but I really want to. It's been a fucking long ass time since I wanted to read something that wasn't WP sanctioned! sigh.

Farkle, if you read this, you've hit a nerve for me with this story and I thank you for sharing it.

5/5 Big & Pretty Nude Models


I’m having a hard time articulating my love of this story. I think I’ve typed, erased, retyped, erased again, typed some more, etc too many times to count. I feel like anything I have to say can’t accurately depict my love for this story (sorry, I’m going into fangirl overload). So…

I rarely find the time to just go diving for fics anymore. However, one day while randomly searching through updates, I happened upon Art School Confidential. I immediately fell in love with Bella. She is the perfect combination of snark, talent, insecurity, humor and sex appeal. She is so enthralled in doing what she loves, painting, that you get a feel of what it is like to be at an art school. I love art, in all its forms, but have little to no real talent. I find myself vicariously living through this Bella, as she pours out emotions on canvas through brush strokes and other mediums.

OMG I’m fawning and I can’t stop.

First seeing Edward nude, lounging…nude, on a chaise…nude, well it does things to me. Being described through Bella’s artistic eyes only seems to enhance Mr. Big and Pretty. And the way in which he first comes in contact with Bella is so fucking funny and embarrassing I can’t even begin to imagine what I would do. Discussing how well hung the model is with another student, Bella blurts this gem out:

"Ever since Emmett I haven't found a man with a big enough dong! I've moved on to donkeys! Get a life Lauren. Who cares about a life model with a big dick?"

Despite her alleged donkey fucking, Edward becomes her personal model. Can you even begin to imagine? Having nude Edward all to yourself? Guh. Every time she paints him, a shot of lust goes through her (and me). And you can practically feel the UST surrounding them. You mainly feel it through Bella, since it is all her POV.

"How do you want me?" he asked. I froze, slowly turning red as I stared blatantly at his nipples. How do I want you? Edward with a dollop of whipped cream, I thought manically.

But as the story progresses and they spend more time together outside actual modeling, the feelings show through Edward’s actions and words. I can’t say it better than Kimpy, with her appropriate “slow burn” comments. You just feel it kind of creep up from Edward’s side of things, until that moment of lust is realized and BAM. Wow.

The way in which farkle uses lemons to enhance the story is both hot and refreshing. Because, it’s just that, an enhancement. When Bella finally gets down and dirty with the Big and Pretty, it’s powerful and passionate. Live passionately, love (or at least for now, fuck) passionately. So hot. So sexy. So RAWR.

Now, unfortunately, throughout the entire story, there is this sense of hurt…angst just roiling in the background. You see it in Jasper’s comments to Bella about staying away from Edward. Or in the way Edward hedges around certain aspects of his life. And in this latest chapter, well, things come to a head. Angst, it’s here. But, it’s all so well done. It’s not forced or trite. Bella’s feelings are all very valid and believable. As are Edward’s. even if it makes my chest ache and my eyes get all leaky and shit.

Don’t be scared off by this though. ASC is an amazing fic, farkle is an amazing author, and if you don’t read you will surely regret missing out on this work of art (see what I did there?)

5 out of 5 Big and Pretties.

Farkle is very upfront in saying this fic is not an autobiography of sorts, rather fiction with a mix of personal stories and experiences of her friends. Hell, if this was an autobiography, I would be DAMN jealous of her! But to be serious, I love when you read a fic and you can tell the author knows her shit. When she describes Bella's life as an art student, and the preparation both physically and mentally that goes into creating a piece of art, you know Farkle understands what the hell she is writing about. That sense of realism is very appreciated and makes the story so much richer.

There is another huge reason why I really like this fic, and it's kinda selfish. It is an ode to Los Angeles, my old homeland. I love that she reminds me of all my former stomping grounds, and they aren't the obvious ones too! Circus Liquors, Versailles restaurant, and Rocky Horror at the Nuart. (I lost my Rocky virginity there!) Bella and Edward go to Disneyland, so those who know me, understand that is huge for me! Also, how can I hate a story where Edward is from Santa Barbara and his ex-gf happens to go to my old university? Go Gauchos. I digress...

So we first meet Edward as a nude model posing for undergrad art courses. It's here we learn about his oh-so-special bodily trait...

"It was an amazing sight actually, since in the chill of the art studio under the scrutiny of twenty pairs of student's eyes, most models parts shrank to the size of a mini marshmallow. Not this guy. If that was shrunken, well, damn.

Yes, damn. Edward does NOT disappoint! Yet, soon, he becomes more to Bella than just a hot guy with a huge love muscle. The build up of their friendship and flirtation leads to ultimate UST reader mindfucking. I love UST especially when the pay-off is worth it. It takes awhile to get there, but surely won't let you down. I really don't want to give away too much here about the overall plot (cuz I personally hate spoilers), but I think their relationship is quite different than what you usually see in fic-land. Again, it points back to that sense of realism Farkle brings to this story. No one is trying to be too suffocating, no one is head over heels in love from day one, and there is a real 'take it day by day' attitude. It doesn't look like we are rushing to the altar anytime soon. I am eager to see where Farkle takes this story. Something tells me there are some surprising twists ahead, and I am ready for the motorcycle ride (as long as *I* get to ride behind Edward.)

4.5 out of 5 Rocky Horror virgins


Can I just say how much I love this blog? I love these fics that you guys find! I am absolutely horrible at discovering new fics. I rely heavily upon recommendation from friends and blogs like this. Thank you, ladies, for introducing me to Art School Confidential! Because, really ... naked model Edward? Yes, please! Although, I will say that this fic dabbles in some angsty territory - but I love it! But then again, I'm like the antithesis of a Wussperv.

What could be cliche, isn't in this fic. The UST is off the charts. And Edward? He is deliciously unattainable and perfect. The supporting cast is also delightfully fresh and still familiar. And did I mention that Edward does a lot of modeling ... naked? Yes? Good. Oh, and he is dressed primarily in jeans, boots, t-shirt and leather jacket when he's not posing nude? And, yeah, he rides a motorcycle. Still need convincing?

The main tension comes from the fact that Bella has convinced herself that she's just not cut out for love, marriage, and the whole happily-ever-after thing. She's committed herself to her art and becoming a successful artist, one that will be remembered long after she is gone. Pair her up with an Edward who is just coming out of a long term relationship where he felt trapped and has decided that he wants to set out on his own and see the world, no set plans, just going where ever the road takes him and his motorcylce - you can see where this is going, right? Because, of course, Edward is amazingly brilliant, beautiful, sweet and sexy. And Bella is adorable, snarky, and fairly clueless. So naturally, Bella falls for the unattainable Edward.

This is definitely one of those fics where you can see the characters mistakes as they are making them, and you want to just set them straight and make them happy, but you can't. So, instead, you have to sit back and watch them make these mistakes and trust the author to set everything right in the end. I really love when that happens. And I definitely trust Farkle with this story and these characters.

Honestly, I started reading and didn't want to stop. The flirting, the modeling, the painting ... I just wanted them to get it on!! Thankfully, they do, but not for several chapters - but the payoff is worth it. I promise.

The only downside I can see to this fic is that it is not complete yet. I need to know how it ends!!!

4.5 out of 5 from me.