Monday, June 29, 2009

Your First Orgasm

Okay ladies, another Monday, another Perv Poll

This week's Match Game

13, by my own hands, then about a week later I had my second one by tongue.

Heh, I would guess somewhere around 6 or 7. On the playground gripping poles between my thighs. I could've been a pole dancer. :)

I *think* under 10, by my own hands or a little later by my then best friends

Last week's answers

We're all bald except for Lu and she is also the only one who prefers a bald pecker :)

Guess away for the current poll ladies, Man Meat will be filling your box if you win!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Determined Jasper Duo

Welcome Pervlings to another PPSS Author Interview!!

We've got our Dark Mistress Fiberkitty &
the Creator of the Jasper/Bella genre Jannabanana!!

Welcome to the meeting of the Jasper shippers Janna Banana and FiberKitty- also known as the battle of the fanfic Amazons (we're 5'9” and 5'10”) and the place to find the answer to the question people have been asking for months, “when is the sequel to When Darkness Turns to Light coming out?”.

In honor of WDTTL and fiberkitty's ample Bella/Jasper story collection, CellaCullen made us an animation to commemorate the day.

Scheduling around nap times and other mommy duties left us playing email tag and then having a two hour chat spanning thirty-three pages of a chat log. What can we say? We were chatty bitches when we got to finally sit down and chat while our six children were sleeping. Yes, six. We each have three. That alone is a good enough reason for Janna's writing hiatus.

Should I start with a mild taunting of our readers? Would it be cunty of me to say that I've read chapter one of the sequel? Yes? Oops. I'm sorry. No, I'm not really. WDTTL is fiberkitty's all time favorite story and being one of a handful of people to have seen proof of the sequel was amazing.

First things first. Who is your mental image of Jasper when you're writing?

JB: Calum Best – pictured here: In other pictures of Calum, he looks like a dolt, but when writing WDTTL, this is the face I imagined. I'm sorry but I just can't stand Jasper in the movie. He has a huge rod up his ass and he reminds me of Edward Scissorhands. Who would want to sleep with that?

FK: So many Jaspers, so little time. High school aged Jasper is William Moseley. College/ young adult human Jasper is Jackson. Adult is Alexander Skarsgard- better known as Eric on True Blood.

Then we got into what you really want to know about.

JB: I was going to ask you if you used any of your real life sexual experiences for your writing but then the first story I read of yours was the jumping out of the plane and I was like, I guess not....

FK: Free-Falling Fornication is not the right story to use as an introduction to my work.

I will make it my mission to read the rest!

FK: (That could take a really long time) I'd start with TTTB (The Tie That Binds), the non “must be a vampire to do this” scenes are. Obviously I have no real life basis for Bella and Emmett fucking atop the bear they just drained before slathering each other with blood to lick it off mid-sex.

JB: Really, you've never done that? Experiment a little!

FK: Nope. Being poly, bi, and into the BDSM scene to a small degree is enough adventure for me in this lifetime.

JB: Wow, you are a naughty little kitty! While I'm pretty adventurous with the hubs, I've never had the urge to dine at the Y. Though I love being on the menu, I'm strictly dickly.

FanFic Battle of the Amazonian Authors- the Quiz

JB: We should do a whole bunch of crazy questions like that and then do the writing questions after?

FK: Yep!

JB: I fucking love it

FK: So here you go... I've taken our questions, removed our names from the answers, and we'll let you make your guess as to who said what.

1. Is your 2nd toe longer than your first

A. No. All my toes go down in size perfectly. If you look from the bottom, they look like peas on a pod!
B. No. Wow, I have yet to meet another “no” person outside of my mom's family.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?

A. Yes, I have a favorite type of pen. I'm actually ridiculous about it, I will search and destroy the house to find one of my pens. I'm afraid they will be discontinued and I have a stockpile.
B. I use one that my hubby turned on our lathe. He made it out of holly and it is grooved to fit my fingers and grip perfectly.

3. What color are your bedroom blinds/curtains?

We have curtains, in a burgundy/wine color, on one window facing our neighbor- but none on the back side facing the field.
B. I don't have any!!! I back onto a golf course so I haven't been in a rush to get them.

4. What do you think of cinnamon toothpaste?

A. Love it. Wait, you mean for brushing teeth, right?
B. I like anything except the kids' bubblegum flavors.

5. Where was the last place you had sex?

A. Guest room bed.
B. Laundry room while baby was sleeping.

6. Favorite food?

A. Holy crap! Mine is Milk Duds. Seriously. I could live off them. Other than that, it's pizza, tacos, shrimp pasta or a really nice tenderloin steak with baked potato smoothered in bacon bits, sour cream and chives. Wow, I'm drooling on my computer.
B. My mom's mashed potato pie is my ultimate comfort food, my favorite type of food is Japanese, my favorite meal is pork tacos with fresh lime juice and cilantro, a side of yellow rice and a margarita; but the food I'd die for is my mom's lemon delight.

7. Tittie War- who would win?

A. I'm a DD, some days I'm a DDD. I miss being a C, or even the D I was before pregnancy.
B. When I got married, I was (an) A. I'm now a D. The The hubs loves it but I hate them! HATE them! Perhaps if they were nice boobs, it would be okay but breast feeding three kids d oes some serious damage! It used to be I would never be able to fail the pencil test. Now, I can store a whole marker set under there!

That question spawned this statement: Holy fuck lady. those are some huge knockers! Does your back not kill you? Ok, in a tittie war, yours would so win!

8. Who is your ideal Edward?

A. I really only can see Rob as Edward. I had never even heard of Twilight until I saw a trailer on a Rob fansite. I've been a fan since before he was “that guy on Harry Potter.”
B. Henry Cavill. (Person A: He's just yummy) That he is. That's who I picture as Edward as that is who Stephenie Meyer had on her site as who she pictured. I'm sorry but RPat doesn't do it for me at all. I would probably get shot for saying that outside the house!

How do you think you did?
A- Janna 2. A- Janna 3. A- Kitty 4. A- Janna 5. A- Kitty 6. A- Janna 7. A- Kitty 8. A- Kitty

Moving on to Janna's questions for Fiberkitty

Why and how did you start writing fan fiction?

FK: Actually, after reading WDTTL and Nia-Ox's Deadly Sins Trilogy, I realized that fanfic didn't have to be the same cut and paste Edward and Bella stories that I'd been reading for a few months. So, taking what I knew in real life, I wrote The Tie That Binds- a polyamorous relationship between Bella, Jasper, and Edward- but as vampires.

What is it about the world of fan fiction that you enjoy so much?

FK: After a rough day with my kids, it is kinda nice to open up my email and see my latest chapter's reviews there as a pick-me-up. Knowing that someone is appreciating my work always puts a smile on my face. It also gives me a way to hone my craft and work out exactly what my target audience is looking for.

How do you come up with your fan fic stories? They are all so different and the pairings change with each one.

FK: TTTB and Lost and Found came from naughty dreams and then I wove the story around it. Relief's first two chapters are based on real life experiences (minus the cheating aspect) and my readers asked me to continue the story. The Song Saga was actually a request from Cella Cullen to write a story where Jasper was the single Cullen. The rest just sort of fell into place. I prefer to just improvise as I go although I find myself plotting out chapters ahead.

Do you prefer to take the characters and bend them to your will as opposed to writing canon?

FK: I prefer to take canon characters and mix it up a bit. There are so many Edward/Bella authors out there that I don't need to add more to the pot. Okay, I will be later this summer/early fall with Donation Drive, but it will not be your standard E/B star crossed lovers angsty fic.

Have you ever written any original stories?

FK: I actually have a few drabbles published through contests and have a potential contract on a short story at the moment. I have three original works in process, one in final draft form. Lost and Found was an original fic that I modified to work for fanfiction and am currently rewriting to its initial purpose.

What is your writing process? Do you outline first, create character bios, etc.?

FK: For original work, I get my basic plot summary written and then work on character bios or at least personality profiles and descriptions. From there, I start outlining where I want to go with the story, even if it isn't a chapter by chapter break down. Fanfic, since I am impatient and can't wait to post a chapter once it is written, I try to have a chapter outline done first so that I'm not stuck with writers' block on a piece.

Who are some of your favorite authors?

FK: You, nia-ox , ObsessingOverEdward, TheSpoiltOne, Lindseyfair, and I owe many of my daily smiles to mischief-maker1, miztrezboo, kaia2008, and CellaCullen who email me regularly.

Seriously, whose team are you on? Jasper, Edward or someone else? Do you even care who she's with as long as the story is well written?

FK: As long as the story is well-written and has some depth, I am Team who ever makes Bella happy and isn't a douche. Edward in the canon- hated him. I thought he was a controlling, manipulative, jealous jerk for a lack of better term. When I wrote Lost and Found, I stripped away the sparkles and brought those traits into the light. People did not like my assward at all. If I had to choose for me personally, I'd take Jasper. Given the picture I saw of Kellan this morning though, maybe I should just take them all and give some back when I'm done.

Your banners are absolutely phenomenal. How on earth did you start making them? (If you recall, I am a computer boob and have no idea how to even begin something like that).

FK: I wanted banners for my stories and felt really awkward asking someone to make me one. Emily, one of the Perv Pack, made me a banner for Relief that was just amazing. I wanted to tweak it a bit to make a smaller banner square later and realized that I still had my photoshop skills from highschool and college classes. Since then, I've made quite a few. My Lord of the Rings inspired banner for Dark Salvation is my favorite.

What would you take if you were to be stranded on a deserted island (kids, hubby aside because that's just too obvious, unless you want to get away from the hubby and you don't need food or water).

FK: That would be a vacation. I'm taking sunblock because I burn like hell, the solar charger for my sony ereader, and my ereader (complete with a huge memory card inserted) loaded with every book in my collection that can fit.

JB: Is it bad that I don't feel awkward getting you to make them for me? I'm so using you for the sequel and I'm not ashamed about it!! It's either that or I can cut and paste a smiley face, that's the extent of my photoshop skills.

FK: You can use me any way you want to, bb. As soon as you give me a title, I may have the image already designed. I don't know if Edward could be adequately represented with a smiley face.

Time for Kitty's questions to Janna...

You're a mom, like I am, so what made you choose to write fanfic, instead of trying your hand at something that would reimburse you monetarily for the time and energy?

JB: When Darkness Turns to Light is the first thing that I've ever written. I happened to be browsing Stephenie Meyer's website and saw her listing of recommended websites and just clicked on one which brought me to the fan fic site. I'd never heard of fan fiction before and was immediately drawn to the idea of stories involving characters that I had fallen in love with and couldn't get enough of. Of course, being the complete computer boob that I am, it took me forever to realize the rating system and that you had to scroll down to M to get to the good stuff but once I found those, my world changed forever (and so did the hubby's!!).

I am seriously scared shitless to try my own story. I'm riddled with self doubt doing the sequel for WDTTL and my beta keeps kicking my ass and telling me to just read some of my reviews and give my head a shake but that's where I'm at right now.

What is your writing process? Do you just have a plot outline, do you go down to the chapter?

JB: I have no style whatsoever. Since this was my first go at writing something, I really just pounded it out chapter by chapter and let the characters take me where they wanted to go. I knew that I wanted certain things to happen and for certain people to show up and I always knew that I was ending the story right after the change but that was about it. It is a horrible way to do it as I would come up with an idea later and it would cause me to go back and have to rewrite several chapters. For example, I decided to embellish Felix and Demetri's characters as I liked them and where I was going but that meant I had to go all the way back to where they first show up in the apartment and rework those chapters.

I am amazed at how people can write a chapter and post it. I had the story written up to chapter 40 before I started posting and then ended up rewriting the entire end and adding in the confrontation with Jasper and Demetri and whatnot at the last minute.

How long does it take you to write the average chapter, without mommy duty distractions?

JB: It really depends on the flow. Some chapters I would whip out in a few hours whereas others I agonized over for days. The change was the worst. It literally took me over a week to get it where I wanted it whereas the conversation between Bella and Jacob at the end just flowed and I finished it in about an hour with maybe a few changes after my Beta worked her magic.

FK: The week you spent on the change was well worth it. There is not a change that compares. To me, that set the bar of what Bella's change should be.

JB: Holy compliment! Thank you.

What is it like knowing that you've warped the minds of many diehard E/B fans so that they are now J/B shippers?

JB: I LOVE it!!! It makes my day when I get a review saying that someone has jumped ship from Edward's team and is now on Jasper's. At first read through Twilight, I loved Edward but when I revamped the books, I realized how condescending he was to Bella. It started pushing me over to Jacob's side. As I got further involved with writing my story and Jasper became a deeper and more evolved character, I started comparing the two and well, I love my Jasper WAY more than Edward. I basically took all the wrong moves that Edward made in the books and used them to my advantage to make Jasper come out as the better male.

Out of the different “-wards” that are out there, which one is your favorite and why?

JB: Ok, this is where it will show that I haven't left the house or read anything in the past 5 months since the birth of my third babe. I honestly hadn't heard of the "wards" until PPSS! So, other than Darkward, I haven't heard many others. Is there a Sexward? I'll take that one please.

FK: You all know how Kitty feels about Edward. But, there is one Edward who makes this kitty purr- HoneyWard. Holding Out For Youward owns me.

Do you have a fanfic author (or two) that you just can't get enough from?

JB: Hands down my favorite is Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver. I first came across her story, Absence of Light and literally felt an ache in my chest when I read it. By this point I was deeply addicted to fan fics but had yet to leave a review so she was my first. I just had to tell her how much that two chapter story affected me. After that, I read her Dark Dance of Temptation which is by far the best Edward/Bella story that I've come across.

Terri Botta writes amazing Eric/Sookie fan fics if you are a fan of The Southern Vampire series by Charlaine Harris. Her writing is phenomenal and hot, hot, crazy hot sex scenes. Super hot and steamy. Melt the ink of the page type of hot. Take that particular page and act out with the hubby hot. Are you getting what I'm saying here? HOT! She needs to be a pervling. Why haven't I thought of that before???? SMOKIN'!!!

I do have a ton of other favs but those two are at the top of the list.

What type of books do you enjoy reading in your free time? Any recommendations?

JB: Wow, how much space do I get for my response??? I have SO many favorites. My half of the walk in closet in my bedroom is 95% books. I seriously have about 10 things hanging and then the rest of the shelves are covered by books.

I love anything and everything by J R Ward, Lara Adrian, Kresley Cole, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Kerrelyn Sparks, Jeaniene Frost, Lynsay Sands, Keri Arthur and Jacquelyn Frank. There are also a few series that I love from authors that have others books that I haven't read yet so they don't fall under the anything and everything but they are: The Southern Vampire series by Charlaine Harris, Gena Showalter's Atlantis series and Lords of the Underworld, I enjoyed Marie Anne Moning's highlander books and have now picked up a few of Hannah Howells as well. There is nothing like a HHH to get you through the night. What is an HHH you ask, why it is a hot hunky highlander and I need to get me one. I never thought a man in a skirt could be so sexy. The hubs draws the line though, no kilts in his future so I just have to continue to dream.

I feel like I'm doing an Oscar speech, did I forget anyone?

What other hobbies do you have?

JB: At the moment, reading and writing whenever I have a spare moment is about all I have time to do. I have three kids under the age of five so I really don't have a lot of spare time.

FK: I completely understand that. I have a 4 y/o and twin 14 month olds. When I'm not being a mom, I'm writing.

What kind of “-ward” is your DH?

JB: Again, since I'm unfamiliar with the "ward", I'm going with Sexward!!

From the pervs/pervlings:

Janna: Just how big is Jasper in the peen department? I get the impression that he's bigger than Edward, but if that's true, by how much? WHEN ARE YOU POSTING THE SEQUEL??!!

JB: He's huge in both length and girth of course! HUGE!! Poor Eddie has a complex about it, he's embarrassed to be seen naked around him. No sauna for Edward as he can't blame the size is due to shrinkage because of the cold in that situation. Let's just say that there are foot long hot dogs and then there are vienna sausages. Jasper is definitely the hot dog, poor Edward is the sausage!

The sequel is coming, very slowly. Life just keeps getting in the way.

Do you have any tattoos?

JB: Yes, I have a banana with sunglasses, arms and legs and a big ol smile on the top of my right foot.

Your opinion on slash fics? Would you ever write one?

JB: I've read quite a few really good ones. I think they are extremely hot. I don't think I could do one justice but you never know....if I did, I'd more than likely do it between Qhuinn and Blay from the BDB books. I'd continue on the scene in Lover Enshrined where they kiss. Anyone that read that book wanted them to continue that kiss. Even if you don't go for that sort of thing, you know you wanted more, admit it, cum on, you so did.

FK: Umm. I am one of the writers of Dark Salvation; should I elaborate?

Favorite sexual position?

JB: Do I have to pick? Why have just one favourite? I have a pocket sized Kama Sutra book in the bedside table which is well used. If we had room for it, we'd so have the tantric chair! The hubby keeps telling me that I don't really need my dresser.....

FK: Doggy style.

Favorite ff ever?

JB: Dark Dance of Temptation by Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver

FK: When Darkness Turns to Light. (This is why I was doing fangirl squees and bounces when we were paired together.)

Hardest part about writing ff?

JB: Since I've only written one and I did it from the POV of both characters, I found it hard at times to stay true to their personalities. I'd have Jasper say or think something that Bella would or vice versa.

FK: Feeling like I'm wasting my time. I could be spending the same amount of time working on my original fiction or bobbin lace- instead, I write. Of course, I have some of the best fangirls ever over on Twilighted. They make it worthwhile.

Do people in real life know you write twilight fanfiction?

JB: Absolutely. Though most don't understand what it is and my father in law actually checked with a lawyer to ensure that I couldn't get sued (he STILL doesn't get it!!). All my friends are aware of it but most haven't read it. I don't have many friends that read to the extent that I do. I've found my book loving friends via fan fiction (SSVD) who have then introduced me to a number of other Twilight lovers.

FK: Some do, some don't. Author friends are appalled, my husband is amused, my friends read it, and then I'm desperately hoping my mother-in-law doesn't find them.

If I looked under your bed right now, what would I find?

JB: Dust bunnies, my dog, two Rubbermaid containers of clothes that I am determined to get into once I lose the baby weight.

FK: My fanfic masterbilia collection- printouts of my favorite lemons, a storage box with sweaters, and probably the cat. Amiras hides under the bed. We always worry that one day we may break the bed and squish her.

Which Character in any story do you want to bone?

JB: The list really is endless. I pretty much am infatuated with whatever character in the current book I happened to be reading. But the top of the crop are the Brothers from BDB.

FK: Clayton Danvers aka Clay from Bitten (by Kelley Armstrong) Umm yeah. He can fuck me any day in any position.

Why is Jasper one of your favorite characters to write?

JB: I chose Jasper because he was the least developed personality in the books and I could do whatever I wanted with him.

FK: Because Janna made him so fucking wonderful and I had to continue with the Jasper love.

Janna, how did WDTtL come about?

JB: I had a dream of Jasper watching Bella dancing with someone else and him getting all jealous and then him walking up to her in a bar and kissing her. I wrote out that scene and that was what started me on the story. I then wrote the first two chapters, did Bella's POV and then Jasper's POV and sent them to Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver to see what she thought and she encouraged me to keep going...and, well, 51 chapters later, the story was finished.

What made you decide to choose Bella as Jasper's partner?

JB: Truthfully? I have no idea, I never considered anyone else. I had the dream mentioned above and went from there.

FK: I blame Janna. :)

Janna: As a fellow smut-book worshipper, I wonder, was your Jasper inspired by a character in one of your favorite Romance novels? I realize that he has all the typical "Jasper" traits, but as a whole, does he share similarities with any of your fave book hotties?

JB: Jasper was inspired by my wanting to show how Edward was such an ass in the Twilight series and how I thought Bella was better with someone else. As the story progressed, I did take a lot of my husband's traits and give them to Jasper. My husband is so the type to run me a bath with candles and then bring me a glass of wine while I'm soaking in the tub.

What advice can you give to novice authors of Jasper fics? Anything to keep in mind when writing from his point of view?

JB: I'm a novice author myself as this was the first story I've written (getting tired of reading that yet?) so I don't know what to tell you other than find your character and stay true to him.

Jasper is the ultimate gentleman and does not lie. He stays true to his word, always. So that is something to keep in mind. Well that and he fucks like a demon so smut scenes are fun to write with him!!

FK: First, I would say you should run over to the Discerning Ficster's Jasper post. There is a lot of great information there. Second, read other Jasper fics and learn what works and does not. Jasper is older than Edward yet has adapted to the current world much more fully than Edward has. Third, do your research. Yes, you do have some creative licensing, but- the late 1800's Texas wasn't all cowboys. Civil War Reenactment websites can give you a great starting place. It is the little things that will stand out.

Bella's change was beautiful and one of my favorite in the fandom. Did you always invision it when you started writing or did it evolve as the story progressed? I am anxious for the sequel that you have mentioned. Is it still planned? I don't mean to pressure you but WDTTL is one of my all time fav fics and made me love Jasper.

JB: The change: I wrote it exactly how I first saw it. I never wanted the "uterus munching" or bones snapping or anything like that. Jasper used his powers to make it as peaceful as possible and also showed just how much he loved her by taking the pain within himself. I wrote it long before breaking dawn and I was appalled at her change.

Yes, I am going to do it. As you know, it is from Edward's POV. I would say that out of the over 3500 reviews for the story, the majority have always wanted his reaction so now they are going to get it.

How far into the future from the date of Bella's change does the sequel start?

JB: 15 years, 2 months, 1 week and 4 days, to be exact

Friday, June 26, 2009

"A Life Extraordinary" by LolaShoes

This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: "A Life Extraordinary"
Author: lolashoes
Chapters: 43
Words: 300,118
Reviews: 5230
Summary: Sequel to Let Your Light Shine. A lemontastic look at their relationships and their lives together. All of the "what happens after" story. Canon Pairings. Graphic lemons. Vampire ExB

Guest Reviewer - Kassiah
Can I start off by just saying that I squeed all over myself when I was asked to be a guest reviewer for PPSS? When I was told what they wanted me to review, well, the first thing I thought was “I can’t do this fic justice.” And I can’t, but I am certainly going to try my best to explain the phenomenon that is A Life Extraordinary.

A few weeks ago, I was being all emo when practically every story that I read was in major heartfail. I sent out a cry for help on twitter, asking for fluffy fun that would take me from the depths of despair. Algonquinrt suggested that I read Let Your Light Shine, so I did. Even though I read very few vamp fics, I just could not stop. LYLS, the prequel to A Life Extraordinary, starts out from the moment Bella and Edward are in the water on their honeymoon night and takes us through Edward changing her, making her dreams come true and ensuring their eternity together. ALE picks up right after LYLS ends, giving readers everything that many of us wish Breaking Dawn would have been.

I love this story for so many reasons. Obviously, the plot is incredible. No one tells a story like LolaShoes. Her descriptions and the dialogue and the depth of her characterizations are just unparalleled. ALE is told predominately through Bella’s perspective, but Lola often weaves Edward’s take on things throughout the story and even little bits of Tanya’s and Jasper’s points of view in the outtakes. The story is lemony delicious in the best kind of way. I love that Edward and Bella are both strong characters in their own right, but are strengthened immeasurably not only by being together but by recognizing that fact and working to embrace it. Not to mention that by offering deleted and extra scenes, tons of info on her thread and profile page, and for her witty fuckawesomeness in general, LolaShoes is one of the finest authors in the fandom.

A Life Extraordinary begins with Bella recounting the process of her transformation, including how Edward's presence throughout the ordeal allowed her to keep a grip on her sanity. We learn about Bella’s special power, have interactions with Tanya, Jacob, and Aro, gain knowledge about Jasper’s ties with Bella, and see the Cullens function as a family. Bella freezer cooks for Charlie, plays silly games with Emmett, and tries to rein in Alice and her shopping trips. We find out more about the other family members’ pasts and what they want to do in the future. Really, it’s everything that we want with no insane and crazy plot devices that make no sense to us as readers.

Then there are the ridiculously-amazing hot lemons.

My BFF asked me to tell her about ALE, and honestly I said that it is like a (at the time) 41 chapter lemon. Edward in love and not brooding is fuckhot and he cannot be contained. They need each other, all the time. They have role play and fantasy fulfillment and mighty vampire thrusting power. Oh, and love days. Trust, you will not be disappointed in the schmexin’.
One of my absolute favorite things is that throughout the story, we see the love and sheer dependence that Edward and Bella have for each other. They truly complete one another and are deeply, madly in love. They can’t keep their hands off each other and often spend hours talking with their lips pressed together. They make a rule that from midnight to six am, they will have time just for themselves as a couple, and though it provides the timeframe for some of their hottest schmexin’, it also is the time that they share some of their most tender moments. Bella and Edward make it a point to work on and develop their relationship and talk about important issues, even if one of them isn’t comfortable with whatever it is. I think this aspect of A Life Extraordinary is central: No matter what calamity is going on around them, Edward and Bella are first and foremost a solid couple committed to each other.

The number one thing that I think LolaShoes wants us to take away from this story is the power of relationships. Although it was hinted at in the actual books, there was no explanation for or really any development of the reasons behind their relationships. Lola shows us that even before her transformation in LYLS, Bella is an integral part of the Cullen clan. She not only is Edward’s long-awaited mate, but also fulfills the needed roles of daughter, sister, and best friend. She offers a sense of completion to their family that no one before her was able to do. In addition, she allows the other members’ relationships to strengthen as well since they aren’t holding back for Edward’s sake.

So I guess that what I really want to say is that A Life Extraordinary is a story that everyone should read. No matter what you look for in a good story, ALE has it all. It is absolute complete and total win

Bri- So, I waited to start this lovely fic until the Monday before our review was due. As I type this, I still don't know if I will be done in time. :) Even so, I couldn't start ALE without first reading Let Your Light Shine, the prequel to ALE. Since it's not the story we're reviewing, I'm going to just say a few short words about it and be done. READ IT NOW. Before ALE, go and read their honeymoon through Lola's eyes. It was beautifully written and the change scene was THE BEST I have ever read. It's what I had hoped SM would have done.

Now, onto ALE! The first chapters of this are so well thought out. The small details Lola put in (hello, the air has a shape?) to the struggle that Bella felt waking up as a newborn - totally realistic and believable. The way she has taken the storyline is unique and original. Bella's gift brings a unique challenge to the story and one that you can't help but be anxious to see unfold.

But, besides the wonderful relationship between B&E, we also get to see into the other main characters. But, not overly so... So many times in fics I wanna scream "JUST GET TO THE MAIN CHARACTERS ALREADY!" But, in ALE, she does a beautiful balance between everything. It also helps that there is a purpose when the others show up and it provides excellent comic relief.

Now, onto the main event...the smut. My GOD the smut. She does such a wonderful job of balancing the sweet moments with a dash of the DTE we all lust after and love. Chapter 10? Fuuuuuuck me. No, seriously. Do it. (Where's my husband...or my rabbit??) I mean - what's so fucking hot about this? I dunno, but Lola got me all hot and bothered, that's for damn sure. Rawrrr.

I love how she has taken the characters we loved so much from the books and adapted them slightly. We get to hear Edward say naughty, naughty things - though not gratuitously, so as to get old. It's NEW every time it comes up. And, so, so welcome. ;)

I mean, hearing Canon Edward (gentleman 98% of the time) utter the words: “I look forward to devouring that sweet pussy from midnight to six.” I mean, are you kidding me with this shit?? *Bri melts into a puddle of goo* And, how she explains it in the fic - it just fits. It makes sense as to why he would be saying these things now - with Bella - and never before. Yes, even dirty talk she has a perfectly good explanation for. :)As I finish this up, I'm still not completed with the story, but can you imagine how long this review would have been if I was??

If you want a fun, smutterific look at what Breaking Dawn COULD have been, this is the story for you. 4.5/5 drenched panties from me.

Emmy- Well! I really don't quite know how to write just HOW much I enjoyed this tale.... As soon as I started reading it my breasts were heavy, my mind was racing and I was desperate for it to be the weekend so my git could be home... DESPERATE! I also couldn't believe that I hadn't been hit over the head with that breathy, realistic, fecking fuck-hot fabulous long, long, thorough delicious lemon tart before.... HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?HOW?

So first off...Open up the link now in your browser... don't read it yet and then come back and read our fabulous reviews and then GO READ IT!!!! :)

Seriously. I think its safe to say that its 43 chapters full of lemony delights.. But it really is so much more... From the first chapter you think oh please do me this is hot and delicious, but you also quickly realise through your lust haze that its really so much more... These characters are rounded, genuine, superbly and realistically developed and the plot is subtle, thoughtful and layered lightly. The end result? A story that starts off with a light hold on you that a few chapters in has you in a very strong, firm, hard, desperate grasp.... I will not spoil Bella's gift - but its so much more believable and effective than the Bella's in Breaking Dawn..As is her connection to the Cullen's and her role within their family and their treatment of her..That is a particular strength of this story. Her emerging relations with her new family thanks to her no longer being a temptation to them, and how her skill affects and shapes this. Jake- the thorny issue of Jacob. In my eyes Lola deals with this in a far more superior and realistic manner than BD... (I actually *SHOCKHORROR* enjoyed reading about Jake and their interactions in Lola's epic creme da la creme of a tale...).

But oh the love, the love, the connection, the intimacy, the bond, the chemistry, the love, shitting hell the LOVE between Edward and Bella in this story, it made me teary, emotional and dreamy (and randy!).... We see Bella and Edward finally confronting their demons and fears and learning how to make a relationship with each other work.. Their insecurities based on their past actions and words being worked upon and explored.. All that was far too missing from BD for my liking - not here...Lola. Lola I would marry you (or at least give you a right royal honeymoon experience) alone for the Love Days. Seriously I worship you for those.. Your poised writing never made those twee, schmalzty or 'oh for the love of god shut-the-blazes-up we know your in love!' sick of them.. Instead they were tender, delicious, intense and oh so meaningful...

Now the lemons. Oh the lemons. Oh my giddy aunt the lemons. Oh my ruddy effing hell the lemons. OH THE LEMONS! Each one is to be cherished. Each is a work of art, a lesson in seduction and love. INCREDIBLE. Incredible in a dear god when the hell am I going to be able to get some from my git kind of way.. Where the fuck is he????!!!! They are epic in range and diversity.. Edward and Bella do EVERYTHING... I mean that. Hello back door - kill me now this is so intense and incredible a scene - sex. (that scene was done sooooooo well, unlike pretty much most of the stories that play in that er arena! snort!). They explore all their fantasies, venture into each others minds, bodies and souls.. Nothing is out of bounds. They use their strength and intensity and love to push all their previous boundaries and limits. To take each other to the brink, to hold it and then push each other over the edge. They enjoy it all and discover more of their bond and connection through their physical expression. Intensity and love and desire and passion abound in ever scene... Some are more intense than others. The kind of intense that burns and scorches from your tummy down and then back up again until your skin is tingling and deliciously alive... When I first was transfixed by the idea of a vampire and his mate - this is the kind of story I was secretly hoping to read... Their strengths, lack of sleep and incredible connection is fully exploited - yet its never enough yet its also everything either of them ever wished for and more - all at once. Its sensory overload, crushing emotions, flaming passion, deep deep love and intimate carnal knowledge and exploration.

I cannot praise this story or Lola's writing highly enough. I seriously cannot. I also expect my pony to send you flowers or champagne or something Lola to thank you for what you will inspire this weekend.. There will be ravaging and if I can walk by the end of I will not be a happy bunny... Its faultless - long, thick, beautiful, intense and thorough [ ;) ]. And so full of love it makes my heart feel special.

Deffo 5 out of 5 soaked lacy blue knickers from me for this and Lola

Jo- Lohhh-LA... LA-LA-LA-LA-Lo-oh-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA-Lohhh-La-ahhhh. Oh! be still my heart. *sigh* Yes, my heart has been forever taken this week by the wonderful and lovely Miss Lolashoes, my friends, as I am sure she can attest by my ridiculously fangirlish reviews that I've littered her inBOX with for the past two days.

So many delicious lemons, not enough panties in muh dresser to accommodate the constant puddle of goo I am in from this fic. I am literally CHEERLEADING NAKED for this story (insert mental image here). I wish there was a way to properly articulate the magic that Lola has put into this story, and what it does to me. I can't. It is complete and utter VOO-DOO. VOO-DOO I TELL YOU!

First off, as you will hear from nearly everyone else: Get the whole experience. Read LYLS first! You don't HAVE to, but it is Oh.So.Worth.It. Most definitely one of the best change scenes ever. OKAY! Now, on to ALE. I have one word for this fic: F U N ! ! ! Fucking Undeniable Nectar (of the Gods). I SERIOUSLY can NOT do this story justice, and if there is ONE thing that you take from my meager attempt at a review here, it should be this: READ IT!!! READ IT!!! READ IT!!! You will never be disappointed. Not Ever.

Lola has authored here what, in my opinion, should have been Breaking Dawn. Okay, I know. Farfetched comparing a 43 chapter long lemon to what a young-adult novel that disappointed so many should be? No. This story is SO MUCH MORE than just LEMONS! How she does this? I do not know, but she most certainly does. Like I said before, it is voo-doo. I'm convinced it is voo-doo, because nothing THIS lemony delicious could possibly have such an amazingly well thought out storyline, relationships, character development, profound moments, and most of all PURPOSE. Nothing that is, except for Lola's hoo-doo voo-doo that is ALE.

We get SO MUCH in this story! The change... it starts there (smack in the middle), and is so fucking beautiful I wanted to cry. The discoveries and re-learning process that Bella undergoes in her first days as a vampire are truly enthralling. Bella's power is unique and abstract, enticing and fun, and it is weaved delicately and intricately into the plotline of the story, keeping you guessing and consistently entertained. The characterizations in this fic are straight-laced, unassuming, un-cliche, and all have a purpose and a place in this story. The relationships are unique, and each one shows the familial bond that is one of the underlying themes of this story, as well as brings us originality, comic-relief, a deep connection to the characters, and meaningful direction to the tale. Bella and Edward are, for lack of a better word, insatiable. Actually, that word just barely touches the TIP (pun intended) of describing their relationship, completely inadequate. There ARE NO WORDS to describe their appetite for each other, only Lola can do that. But they are not only lovers, they are in love.

The don't just need sex, they need each other, like air. And they don't just have hot and steamy sexin' (of every fucking shape and form), they have profoundness and intimacy and discovery and love, above all love. Lola uses their bond as a plot development tool, yes, but she writes their love like no other, NO OTHER! I really do NOT know how she does this people! It's so fucking well done. I could go on for days, so I will stop here and say, please, please, PLEASE read this story! It is so very worth your time, and your love.

This story already ATE all the panties I've ever owned, and if your wearing any when you start reading this, well, that's just a dumb thing to do. So, panties? What panties? They're all in the wash right now.

Kathy- I believe I first heard about ALE from algonquinrt. When she described ALE&LYLS as “chapter after chapter of well-written lemons and plot,” I made a note to look into that. Who would turn that down?

I both was and wasn't surprised when I found the stories to be exactly as she described; algonquinrt has never let me down, but at the same time, who could write that much original smut and not have it get boring and/or repetitious after a while? The one and only LolaShoes can, that's who.

Now, lest you begin to think this story is SOLELY lemons, let me reveal that, as most stories do at some point, this story has made me cry. Bella and Edward aren't just mindlessly having sex all the time; there is a real and strong bond between them, and the ache and pull exists to draw them together. They aren't simply fuck buddies, they are bonded mates, and aside from that, like Kassiah said, Bella is a sister, a daughter, and best friend. This combination, plus the plot that is woven in (you thought she'd just write PWP? Hell no; this girl is talented... she... er... sucks you in with the smut, and then lays down the plot gently), will have you begging for more. Not just more smut, either -- more plot. The Aro moments? Astounding. Carlisle and Bella? Kleenex-worthy. The comraderie with Bella and Jasper? Wonderful. I could go on for Esme, Emmett and Rose, but you get the point, right?

I want to take a brief step back and say the the change scene in LYLS was absolutely beautiful. If you haven't read LYLS, go back and read it first. Then, come back and enjoy the smutty goodness that is ALE. Also, I have been known to warn people to limit themselves to 2-3 chapters of ALE per day. I had to put a cap on it, because really, how much time can you spend in bed all day? Just sayin'.

One of the things I want to be sure to mention about this story is that she takes into account all of the vamp characteristics they have; there's never recovery time required. Love Days? Genius.

This story gets 100/5 panties, because are you kidding? This has to be hands-down the best, most experimenty-fun-in-bed iteration of Bella and Edward I've read. Hands down (someone's pants).

Hope-Don’t Panic! I know this story is 350k+ words and the prequel “Let Your Light Shine” is 65k words. I know this seems like a massive undertaking to even attempt to read it all and the word count alone it daunting. But even though it is one of the longest stories in twific history, it’s a rather quick read. LYLS only took me two days and even though I am not completely done with ALE in 3 days I read over ¾ of it.

When a story gets this long people assume that the author is dragging it out or it has a lot of filler. This is completely NOT the case with “A Life Extraordinary”, every conversation, encounter, interaction & yes lemon (and there is a ton) is written with purpose and intent. Lola weaves a beautiful tale of what life could be like for Bella and Edward after her change. In my opinion is the best of the best of the “what happens after” genre.

What really gets me about this story and what I absolutely love; is that at the heart of it it’s about two people trying to figure out how to be together, about how to be married and sharing their life together, about testing limits and exploring boundaries and breaking a few in the process, about letting go and trusting your partner, about delving in and exploring the intensity and enormity of the feeling for your mate, about what it’s like to have and form a true partnership with honesty and openness.

Bella & Edward have a hard time adjusting to being married at first. Not in the sex department though, they have no problems there once they both surrender and let go. And trust me the lemons in this are some of the best around and I don’t know how Lola does it. Each one is new and exciting while remaining steamy and full of love. Even when Bella and Edward are just flat out fucking the love is there, surrounding them and spurring them on. The intensity or the way that Lola describes the intensity and sheer massiveness of their love and bond with each other in and out of the bedroom is stellar. I really do feel it, I feel what they are feeling and at times it’s overwhelming. And that is what makes this story great.

This is not just a Bella and Edward story, it’s also about Bella adjusting to life as a vampire and how her presence and addition to the family completes the Cullen’s. They all know and acknowledge it. They help her adjust to her new life without pushing or forcing. She forms a bond with each and affects each in her own different special way. All the Cullen’s are there and play major roles in the story. I personally love Jasper and Bella’s friendship, there is nothing romantic between them and it’s not a brother/sister vibe either. It’s a best friend, confidante, essential piece of their make-up kind of thing. It’s hard to describe but they need each other in a strictly loving but platonic way. It does have a bit to do with both of their gifts. I’m not going to spill Bella’s gift, you’ll just have to read, but is makes perfect and complete sense.

There’s love and romance and a bit of drama and growing pains and fluff and hijinks and pranks and fun and laughter and sex and tenderness and togetherness and it all weaves together beautifully to form an amazing story. A must read in my opinion.

I don’t have a panty count for this story. Simply go without and save yourself the laundry. It’s that fucking good.

Nina- I dedicate my review today to Siouxchef who betas this lemony beast of goodness. Girl, I don't know how the fuck you do it, but me and Lucy thank you.

I completely agree with everyone when they say to read LYLS first. The first two things I tell ANYONE that asks me about this fic is I have MsKathy to thank (hump) for it and the fucking 'change' scene is fantastic. Utterly and astoundingly fantastic. I read it again just before writing this because it's just that damn good. Sure you can argue that it's been done that way before but it's irrelevant because of Lola's ability to masterfully weave what could have been a truly cliched scene and instead created a magnificent and romantic scenario. Oh yeah, and she writes hella hot fucking smut (with a story)

That's what this is folks, it's a profoundly good story with smut, not smut with a splash of story. Yes, it is gloriously bountiful with citrus of EVERY MOTHER FUCKING VARIETY but there is a story and it's so good, dare I be silly and say it's extraordinary. I need to stop drinking I think, I'm ridiculous. Back to the point.

There are a few points that I really want to touch on as far as the story goes. Kathy mentioned the Love Days. Jesus Christ. Vampire love according to Lola is unreal. It's poetic, it's unabashed pleasure seeking from your true mate, it's remarkable and truly profound and it causes these crazy vamps to just be nekkid and fuck (with love). These 'days' are unbelievably well written, the pure unadulterated passion that they feel towards each other initally worries them because let's face it. They're literally not in control of their needs, they're just pulsing through them and setting them on fire with desire. Once the phenomenon is explained to them they realize how truly perfect for each other they are. There is no question about the magnitude of the love that they all share and here is where Lola does a remarkable job in creating different forms of lemonade. The sultry, smutty, hump the nearest thing in the vicinity kind of fucking and the ultra romantic, sweet, still hella sexy, but in a deep and emotional love making sort of way.

We all mentioned the actual plot to this tale, her ability is probably one of the best ones I've read in a while. Quite similar to Jasper's empathic power she's even more, at least to me, dangerous and wanted because of this trait. Enter Uncle Aro and the Volturi. I am terribly curious to see how the end of this story goes in relation to that part of the journey (and I hear there is a part 3 in the works...I hope that rumor is true!)

Okay, the smut...there is plenty of it and in varying forms, positions, entryways (wink wink) and role-playing but these are just two.

Now, being a teacher, certain teacher/student fics squick me out a bit, but schoolgirl fantasies? Yeah, I fucking love those. Holy mother of fuck. Mr. Cullen 'teaching Miss Swan how to give a blowjob? *dies* Miss Swan asking Mr. Cullen about taking a trip on the pink canal with the tongue boat? *thud* Un-fucking-real. I can't remember what chapter it's in (that's a lie it's in 39), towards the end I remember but just read it, so fucking hot.

Finally I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the butt secks. I'm not a fan of reading about it (usually), not sure why (Slash is always welcome, accepted and loved btw). That's not true, I do know why, if I ever see the words brown lower hole, puckered dirty hole or chocolate starfish again in a fanfic I'm going to go all Cuntzilla on whomever wrote it. (yes, those are 3 examples that I had the misfortune of reading) Lola, yeah, I'll read about her butt secks everyday (yes, please).

This is just MY OPINION. But (pun intended) butt secks to me, is dirty (in the good way) I accept and except, balls slapping, the man screaming about fucking a tight ass etc. Not, "Oh I filled your fucking lower, brown, puckered hole that resembles a chocolate starfish" fuck no ewwww.

Sorry mini rant (and 13 year olds shouldn't write fucking lemons or about butt secks *which is where those examples came from)

Okay my bad, back to the butt secks. Yes, it's hot. Yes, they both enjoy it and yes, she fucking writes it in a manner that makes my toes curl.

This story doesn't get a panty rating because frankly? If your panties made it through LYLS unscathed, they're NOT making it through ALE without exploding. So just sit on...well sit on anything that feels good and read this bitch. My suggestion is go shopping, get a few thick towels, some bottles of your favorite brand of spirits and a fresh supply of batteries and thank Lola in the morning.

Steph- I have a love day over Lola every time I get an update for this. Don't know what that means? Go fucking read ALE. Right now. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Oh, but you should really read Let Your Light Shine first.

ALE is what BD should have been. Lola's description of Bella's change to how she adjusts to it all afterwards? GAH. And seeing the two of them together, working through it. Seeing Edward not only accept her change, but do it the way she wanted it done. Making, wait for it, the choice to do it. Not just doing it because he had to save her. I love that Lola took that choice and put it in their control and they did it together.

The love between Bella and Edward here is actually almost palpable. And you can sure as hell wrap yourself up in it and just savor it. What I hated most about BD was that there was virtually nothing of the love story between B/E. ALE has the love story in spades. It's a damn love-fest. All loving, all the time. And speaking of loving. Holy fuck, the lemons.

The whole story is lemony delicious and made me a randy little slut while I was reading it (not that the hubby minded at all). But what makes it sooooooooo good, is that it fits. Yes, there's a lot of lemon, but it furthers the story. There is a point to it for each and every time they make love or fuck, and they do their fair share of both. But, not only is it an epic Bella/Edward love story, but you get to see Bella with whole fam-damily.

You see her relationships with all of them grow and develop. I love Jasper. Nothing new there, but OMG, their relationship here? Makes me a fucking gooey mess. And dude, Emmett and Charlie bonding? Ya gotta see it to believe it, and you will love it.Then there's Bella's power. Probably one of the coolest powers I've read about Bella having. I loved watching her learn about it and slowly explore it, beginning to figure things out. And she's still learning new stuff, even as of the newest chapter, she got a new look at what her power can do.

Talk about an awwwwwww, overwhelming moment.I love this story hard. And I love Lola hard and want to do naughty things to her. (Shit, did I just say that out loud? Meh, oh well, it's true.) For this story, skip the panties, you won't be needing them for a very long time. Just get a towel and your favorite toy or favorite man (or woman if that's yer thing). And have fun with it.

5/5 midnight-blue, lace boy-shorts

In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the author to share a bit about herself...

I had a total ::assfloor:: moment when Nina told me that PPSS would feature ALE. The fact that I have to write a bio for you peeps is a little intimidating, though. I can write Edward easing Bella into ass sex, but the blurb about me? Not so simple.

I’m 34 and when I’m not writing vampie humps, I’m a neuroscientist. Super geeky, yes, but you can make a lab coat look hot with the right pair of kitten heels. I’m married to an awesome guy, and we have a shamelessly flirty 2 year old son. I know all married TwiFic authors say that they’re ‘married to their own Edward’ and while that’s really fucking cute, I’m stopping that noise right now. I’m pretty sure that Edward Cullen doesn’t exist and that’s why we read and write this stuff in the first place. My husband is a hot science geek but nothing like Edward. He shaves his head, for one. So the whole “fisting my hands in his thick hair” makes me really fucking jealous. Also, I’m sure that EC wouldn’t make a habit of leaving his socks all over the living room. Oh, and the mind-reading thing would come in pretty fucking useful sometimes. Other than that, my man is the shit.

Now, having said that, my beta, siouxchef, is unfortunately married but otherwise I would totally turn gay for her (or Rachel Maddow, rawr). I may anyway - just give me the word Trac.

I started writing fanfic for the same reason most of us did: I love the characters but felt that there was a lot more that could be done with them. For me specifically, I needed to see if I could write their relationship to make myself believe they were in love. We’d been beaten over the head with how beautiful Edward is and how klutzy Bella is, but there was too much drama in the books for us to ever really see how or (more importantly) why they loved each other.

Unfortunately, that connection is the foundation of everything and we had to just take it as truth scattered among epic battles and (more importantly) epic cockblockage. And after three books of sexual tension, I’m sorry – I had to fucking re-write Breaking Dawn. The fade-to-black in the water Mormon teen readers be damned: it killed me. I literally examined my page numbers to find out if my book was defective (hey, it happened to me with A Prayer for Owen Meany – it was possible here too). Then when I returned to it, Edward lost control? What? That did not fit at all for me with his character. Apparently I never got over that trauma and that’s what started Let Your Light Shine and its sequel, ALE.

I plan to continue this story when they start school in New Hampshire. (PM me if you live there – I’m fucking clueless about the Right Coast.) LYLS was about Bella’s change, ALE is about their realization that their love is obsessive and completely consuming. The sequel will explore the other relationships in the family as well. I could start another story… but fuck it, these horny vamps are fun.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Emily Needs to Relax with a Good Rubdown

Title: Relax
Author: freakyhazeleyes
Chapters: one-shot
Words: 3,904
Reviews: 43
Summary: All Human lemon one shot. Bella needs help relaxing and Edward's the one who helps her. Requested by and Dedicated to damnprecious124

I have to agree with my fellow perv MsKathy in that I usually do not like one shots because I like more depth to my fic. But sometimes a quickie dose of smut is just what you need to get your blood pumping. Freakyhazeleyes spins a tale of an overstressed college-aged Bella preparing for her final exams.

We all remember those days and some of your are probably immersed in them right now. The cramming, the stress, the last minute edits to your paper...the life of any college student. What would be the perfect solution to all that stress? How about a long, slow, languid massage delivered by Edward Cullen.

The ever scheming Alice, cajoles Bella into taking her appointment at the spa. Bella having never had a professional massage before is tentative but she agrees because really; who can say no to Alice? Of course the reader knows that the masseuse will be Edward but reading the reaction through Bella's eyes places the reader right on that massage table, naked and ready to feel firm hands on flesh. Without giving away all that happens, I will say there is a good dose of smut that left me satisfied and also wanting more.

So go read, review and then have some nice alone time "Relaxing". Will it be as satisfying as Bella's massage? Of course not but then again you don't have to take final exams either.

Monday, June 22, 2009

"Pube Poll" Bald? Strip? Linda Lovelace Bush?

Okay ladies, here's the poll, new guesses, old ones answered.

This week's Match Game:

For the women:

ex-short/narrow landing strip, bald undercarriage

Everyone else is BALD!

For the men:

Bald & Smooth

Everyone else prefers manscaped

Last weeks answers.
11-20; 10 + 3 women. So lucky 13 I THINK? (Bad memory)...this was from Cullenitis

20++ I am a slut and proud of it!...this was from OIPEm

20+ I also believe I hold the PPSS record, and yes. My slutty ass (and other parts) are proud of that...this was from Ninapolitan

Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Sorceress Schools our Naughty Librarian

Welcome Pervlings to another PPSS Author Interview!!
I am a bit beside myself today introducing these two...

We've got our Naughty Librarian &

A Naughty English teacher Sorceresscirce!!!

The amazing SorceressCirce, author of Just One of the Guys, was gracious enough to spend several evenings chatting with me, The Naughty Librarian (author of I Caught Myself), for this interview. She and I had previously bonded over Broadway musicals, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Godfre and more, but the evening of our first 'official interview' chat, we really only managed to cover a couple of questions.

Here's a little peek at why (me = Naughty Librarian; Jewt-guh = SorceressCirce ~ 'Jewt-guh' being my phonetic spelling for the acronym JOotG [Just One of the Guys] because I'm a dork like that...:)

(Actual chat log)

me: Hey ~ Lemme ask you a few basic questions, k?
Jewt-guh: Of course bb
me: Where were you born?
Jewt-guh: Carrollton, GA - Southern girl through and through ;)
me: WOOT *bumps fist* or *grabs boob*
Jewt-guh: *giggles and bumps fist* Oooh... hell yes.
me: nomnomnom
Jewt-guh: *gropes*
me: *tingles*
Jewt-guh: *whimpers*
me: Where were we?
Jewt-guh: Umm...I was groping you, I think?
Oh wait.
Interview. Right.
You asked where I was born.
me: Fuck the interview
Jewt-guh: Fuck yes.
me: *pounces!*
Jewt-guh: I have the margaritas bb
me: I'm on my way!! ;)
Jewt-guh: Yum. ;)
me: We share so much love...
Jewt-guh: yes, yes we do... :)
me: Margaritas, Ry, Benji, boobs, er..
Jewt-guh: Oh dear
me: Twilight...

This chat derailed at the sight of a naked picture of Ben Godfre. We then got all sortsa hot and bothered and never recovered. We groped, talked of safe words for our interview (determining SorceressCirce chose 'orangutan' to fuck me up) and broken moral compasses. We ended up horny as hell and in a Writing Challenge. Thankfully for you, dear pervlings, we did manage to contain our libidos (well, not really...) and get down to some questions. Here you go:SorceressCirce = SC Naughty Librarian =NL

NL: So, "SorceressCirce"...what the hell is that name? I mean, I picture some sort of Harry Potter meets Circe du me out here.

SC: Nice imagery! No, I was obsessed with Greek mythology as a kid, and Circe was always one of my favorite figures - anyone who can turn people into animals is win. So when I started coding for a MUD (yes, I'm a gamer geek - this shouldn't be surprising) six years or so ago, I chose the name Circe. When I started writing on, that was taken, so I added the Sorceress in front of it. I have a terrible memory, so I tend to use the same creen names everywhere

NL: So, no nimble, half naked wizards standing on one another's shoulders? Damn

SC: I know...sadly disappointing, right?

NL: No, you could never disappoint.

SC: We could always go with that though. I'm good with half-naked wizards. ;)

NL: Speaking of gaming...what was that MUD you referenced? Gaming is a big part of your Bella's life, as well as Jasper & her other guys. For those of us n00bs, give us some insight into the gaming world.

SC: Umm...a MUD is a multi-user dungeon. It's a text-based computer game where people read the descriptions of rooms and characters and that sort of thing. They interact pretty freely with the environment, and the MUD I code for is all about roleplay (you know I like that ;)). MUDs were sort of the precursors to MMOs like WoW (World of Warcraft), which is what Bella and Jasper play most often. When they get together with the guys, though, it's all about D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) - which is usually just an excuse to get together, be loud, eat pizza, and goof off.

NL: Umm...MMOs? Sorry, I am fail.

SC: *grins* MMOs are massively multiplayer online games...they're basically just huge servers for graphic games where thousands of people can play together at once.

NL: Is JOotG your first fan fiction offering?

SC: It is...I just discovered fan fiction in December or January...can't remember which. I found several stories that I loved, but suddenly in February, they all stopped updating at once. They seriously all went on a month-long hiatus or something. So midway through the month, I thought, "Huh...wonder if I could do this...?" I sat down that night, wrote the first chapter of JOotG, nervously chatted with AHelm for awhile, and finally posted it.

NL: Had you done any other type of creative writing previously,'re kind of fuckawesome at it.

SC: *blushes* Well, I've always loved to write, and I have ridiculous amounts of notebooks and backs of receipts and half-finished files on my computer filled with character concepts and outlines and things. I've written some short stories and have been working on novels, but I've never shared anything with any sort of audience before JOotG. The only person who has ever read my work before now is my friend N, and he is fucking brutal - we both are. So I wasn't expecting a very warm welcome. :P

NL: Speaking of warm welcomes, your story is about to crest 2000 reviews. I'm sure it will by the time this interview posts.

SC: That's just baffling to me...honestly. I love each of my reviewers so much, and I always wait anxiously to see what they have to say. Some of their thoughts and questions have prompted a few changes and explanations as well as pointed out some things I'd never really thought about. I have some of the best readers around.

Seeing as I'm one of your adoring fans, I will say thank you. :)

NL: Tell me a little about where your inspiration for Bella comes from. She's a broken, broken girl.

SC: Bella...Alright, so this may sound a little strange, but what about me isn't? ;)

NL: Heh, I just had a 'Wicked' moment...

SC: Oooh, Wicked! Love that shit!

NL: I KNOW! One of the many things I love about you...

SC: Elphaba is awesome.

NL: Isn't she though?

SC: Haha, yeah...considering it's how I met you, huh? Squealing and gushing about musicals in a review reply. Musicals have always been the one thing about me that nobody gets - I mean, I have a strange group of interests anyway, but it's hard to find someone who appreciates that one. So when I read your profile, I went all fangirl on you.

NL: Oh, yes! I read your reply and was in fangirl Orgasmatopia...

SC: *laughs* What were we talking about?

NL: Your Bella... weird inspiration.

SC: Oh, Bella. Not weird to me, but it may sound strange...

NL: No judging here...this is a safe zone. ;)

SC: When I was sixteen, I was pretty violently raped. Not to the extent that Bella was beaten, but portions of her trauma and subsequent paranoia - the stairs, the being followed - come from that. The rest of Bella's personality is drawn from a girl I met in group therapy...she just completely broke my heart, and I was scared as fuck that I was going to be her. Years later, she still couldn't stand for anyone to touch her - not even us - and she had horrible nightmares and just...she was really broken. So my Bella is a mixture of us. Edward is not actually based on anyone I know (and this is probably the part that sounds weird)...he's what I hope she found.

NL: Wow. I don't think that is strange at all. That's what friends do ~ we hold out hope for one another when we don't have any on our own.

SC: Bella's personality is largely mine, as are her nightmares and such...Jasper is based on my college roommate (we'll call him Real Life Jasper or RLJ), who helped me get through all of that.

NL: I will tell you, I had to really stop & ask myself if I wanted to read the chapter where Bella tells Edward.

SC: I can understand not really wanting to read that chapter.

NL: Having lived through a date rape myself, I wasn't sure I wanted to go there. I'm sorry that you had to live it, too.

SC: You know, that's a big part of why I chose to write this particular story. There are so many women out there who have gone through various versions of this. I have been amazed by the number of reviews and PMs I've gotten from people telling me their stories and thanking me for telling this one. Several have made me cry, but I am so happy that I'm able to put something out there that people can relate to. And I am so sorry you had to experience anything along those lines, bb. No one should have to go through that.
NL: Yes, I's a sick world sometimes. But stories like yours that show how love heals and mends give credence to the strength & power of hope.

SC: Wow, thank you so much for that!

This latest chapter? I seriously was Rocky-pumping the air when the you-know-what happened (don't want to spoil it for any who haven't read yet..).

SC: *laughs* That's fucking awesome. I kind of was, too, when I wrote it. I have been literally dancing for weeks that it was coming up.

NL: I bet! It was such a huge milestone for both Bella AND Edward.

SC: The show tunes helped with the dancing ;)

NL: Okay, I have to ask...

SC: Uh oh.

NL: What is your favorite musical?

SC: Oh man...

NL: (you can do it)

SC: Probably predictable, but Les Miserables has to be my all time favorite. And it's because of the songcrush I have on Jean Valjean and Javert when they sing "Confrontation." Yes, I have a crush on a song.

NL: That's probably one of my favorite things you've EVER told me. The second time is no less charming.

SC: *blushes*

NL: Kinda makes me wanna low-dip kiss you. ;)

SC: Oh, hell yes...come here, bb.

NL: *dips and sluuuuuuurps*

SC: *forgets her name*

NL: You are SorceressCirce. You are a fucktabulous fanfic writer. I am your biggest fan and am totally young and hot.

SC: Fuck, girl. I'm blushing more than my Bella...which is saying a lot.

NL: Well, speaking of youth & hotness...tell our rabid pervlings a little about the real you. How old are you? Married? Kids? Where in the world are you?

SC: I don't know how much "youth" and "hotness" are applying any more... ;) I'm 32, and I'm married to a fantastically funny foul-mouthed Marine who actually taught me to curse and now says that I say "fuck" too much. Thanks for that, honey! We just had our first baby, a little girl named Naomi...she's eight months old now, and she's just wonderful. I never knew I wanted to be a mom until I had her. I teach eighth grade English in a fairly small town in Georgia...again something I never knew I wanted to do, but I fucking love my kids. They are dense at times, but they make my days fun and rewarding - sometimes.

NL: Did you grow up in the South...are you a GRIT (girls raised in the south) like me?

SC: Absofuckinglutely!

NL: So, do you have the Jimmy Carter Georgia accent? Do you eat grits & livermush?

SC: *laughs* Apparently, I have a "cute" accent according to AHelm, hammondgirl, and LittleMissWhitlock...I don't hear it. I do eat grits, and I avoid pretty much anything with the word "liver" in it. Eww. What about you? Do you have the sexy Southern belle accent? You can't possibly have the redneck one.

NL: I do NOT speak redneck, but I do speak Southernese. And according to my Tater, Bri (antiaol), it's quite sexy. ;) Well, when she's not laughing at it...which is quite often.

SC: I'll have to hear it sometime. *winks* At least you know I won't laugh...

NL: Back to questions about your story for a bit. Here's one about your Real Life Jasper (RLJ). You told me previously that he's now married. What does his wife think of you and your friendship?

SC: His wife is extremely cool. Our friendship has changed over the years - it started when he moved. We have, sadly, lost touch in a lot of ways now, but we do talk on the phone several times a year, email a good bit, and that sort of thing. Now, we talk about JOotG a lot because he thinks I'm painting him in too good a light. His wife is very understanding of all of it, and she is actually really supportive of me - and of our being friends. She is an Alice in truth, although she didn't have to start her relationship with him while he and I were still living together.

NL: Awesome...I'm so glad that this came up. And I know you and I have talked about it, but tell our readers how your real life Edward (husband) feels about RLJ.

SC: *smiles* My husband is awesome, honestly. I'm very lucky to have married the man who became my best friend, and he knew pretty much everything about me before we ever decided to start dating. He'd seen some of my meltdowns, he'd met (and gamed with) RLJ and the other guys. There was no animosity or jealousy there. They get along just like the rest of my guys do.

NL: Your story contains canon couples. Tell me, do you enjoy alternate ships and slash fics?

SC: Slash...good god. Cuffward fucking owns me. I have developed a serious weakness for slash because of him.

NL: You're referring to Edward in manyafandom's All I Ever Knew (and the new All I Ever Wanted)?

SC: Yes... *sighs longingly* What I wouldn't do to grow a dick and meet him...

NL: God, don't I know... I didn't do slash until I read that story. Totally made me a gay man.

SC: I don't even know why I started reading "All I Ever Knew" in the first place. I was sort of moping one night because I'd finished the last chapter of "The Arrangement." I saw AIEK on manyafandom's link, and was kind of like, "Eww..." not because it was slash, but because it was Edward and Jasper. But it kept taunting me... So I clicked on it and read the first chapter...and like eight hours later was pulling my hair out that I was finished with it too. And yes. I was never a gay man before I read AIEK.

Hope's writing has that effect on people. The Fairy fucking Godmother of Twific...only her wand is a peen. ;)

NL: So, I know a couple of your characters have tattoos. Do you?

SC: Actually, I don't. I'm contemplating my first because I love ink. You?

NL: I have one and plans for two more.

NL: So, I was kind of a bad girl before I settled down...what about you?

SC: Actually, I was sort of always a good girl, up until the rape. Instead of being like my Bella, I...kind of went the opposite way. I was never one to do anything that wild, really, but I was a virgin up until that point, and I was scared as fuck that I was going to end up like that girl that no one could touch. So I sort of forced myself early on to become intimate...and then I had a lot of different partners, but never anything that wild.

NL: I did the same thing.

SC: Really?

NL: I wasn't a virgin, my date raper was my second, but after that, I was having it on my terms. It became about control for me. I would choose, you know?

SC: I think that was really what it was about for me, too. I completely understand that. If I initiated, then I was in control. I'm still a little too forceful at times - luckily the husband doesn't mind.

NL: Yes, exactly. It was years later that I realized it [the control factor]. I'm actually a more submissive personality ~ but that can translate to manipulation...just a subtler form of control. And hubs doesn't complain about my 'manipulation' of him... ;)

SC: I've actually realized over the last few months that I like being submissive more than I thought I did.

NL: Yeah?

SC: Umm...yeah, actually, I've always been that way, but I just became more aware of it, I guess. And part of that came about from reading "The Submissive" and recognizing a lot of myself in it...then some talks with the Dom I know, and...yeah. She's actually very cool with talking about it, and she helped me work through some of the things I was confused/concerned about.

NL: So, have you and your husband done any BDSM role-playing? Is that something you guys enjoy?

SC: We have done a bit of role-playing, but I think I tend to enjoy it more than he does. ;)

NL: Alright...a couple more pervy questions:

SC: Bring it. ;)

NL: Even if this wasn't for the Shack, I'd totes be asking...just sayin'...Favorite sexual posish?

SC: Hmm...there are so many...

NL: Just one.

SC: My favorite, honestly, is probably doggy. And god, I love when he grabs my hair... (see, a bit of that submissive thing...) Yours?

NL: Yes, I love that one too. For the same reason ~ well, that and the *ahem* action that position causes with the swinging and subsequent, er...slapping. Clear as mud?

SC: *grins* Yes, the err...slapping is one of my favorite parts, too.(see Chapter Two, Balcony Sex, of antiaol's Les Autres Rendezvous for a perfect example of this!)

NL: What are your thoughts on pubic hair...we all know everyone has an opinion. These are major discussion points in the Pack... ;) Do you prefer bald? Landing strip? 70s style bush mama?(Thank you, Purdue Liz, for these terms in your Poll of the Week) For yourself as well as your partner.

SC: I prefer bald for myself, personally. I can feel everything so much better, and the hubs is much more umm...attentive. For him, I like it trimmed but not bald...I don't mind bald, but sometimes it kind of freaks me out for some reason.

NL: Do you have a celebrity Do-list/Top Five? If so, who's on it? If not, why the fuck not?

SC: I do...and god, it's shifting lately.

NL: Heh...I hear many hot bods, so little time.SC: I blame Bri's interview. ;) (and yes, I'm counting him :P)

SC: So, let's see... Ryan Reynolds, Ben Godfre, Kellan Lutz (seeing a pattern on the bods yet?).

NL: Mmm...fine taste you've got there, b.

SC: The last two spots are the hardest...hmm... *thinks carefully* God, I have to go with Rob just because his awkwardness owns me

NL: I know, right?! Oh, he's sooo on my list.

SC: Then let's see...*ponders* Gah, I know who it would have been. Dear god...Layne Staley. First celebrity obsession.

NL: Umm...who?

SC: *grins* He was the lead singer for Alice in Chains. So since I

can't have him, I guess I'll have to say...Fuck, I'm like possessive of that last spot! LOL

NL: I will note that you have the right to amend your list. I'm not locking you into anything, I promise. ;)

SC: Alright, then I'll say Chris Cornell for now, to get my musician fix in there. Who are your five?

NL: Ryan Reynolds.

SC: Ryan's your #1 too? God, I love you even more...

NL: He bounces between one and two, depending on my mood for older versus younger. I love you, too. <3

SC: Who's #2?

NL: Hugh Jackman...

SC: Oooh, good choice. I can't believe I forgot Hugh...hmm...I love Aussies.

...cause that motherfucker can SING and DANCE and be HOT AS FUCK all at once. Have you seen him in the London production of Oklahoma!? Holy fucking Curly on a cracker!

SC: Yes...good god! *laughs*

NL: (yes, that was my Mr. Horrible moment) So, Hugh...then Gerard Butler...

SC: Ooh, another good one.

NL: ...cause that motherfucker can sing & be a badass Spartan then turn right around and be Nimh's daddy. *sigh*

SC: So you have Ryan, Hugh, said Rob's in there?

NL: Robert Pattinson, oh yes. And Djimon Hounsou. He gets tied sometimes with Taye Diggs, but I can't ever separate Taye from Idina (Menzel)...I kind of want them both at once.

SC: Rob's fingers just...kill me. His hands are always doing something random and awkward, and I need them.


SC: Nice last choice...and I can see that.

NL: My bestie and I have an ongoing thing about Rob's fingers...

SC: *laughs* I've got the same thing going's like he doesn't even know what his hands are doing...

SC: Oh, here's one for you. If your husband went all caveman and said you could read updates from only one story, which would it be?

NL: Ooh...that's tough. It would be an angsty fic - I love angst because it's like a HAVE to know what happens. Right now, I would have to say Medication by MojoPen. It's angsty as all fuck, surprising, and well-written. I'm dying to know what happens next...I do so love the angst.

SC:Interesting...I don't know that one. I'll have to check it out.

NL: Stories like Medication and Mutually Assured Destruction pwn me...they make me stalk my inbox for updates.

NL: Hey, I know what I wanted to ask you. Does your past include any relationships or encounters with the same sex?

SC: No relationships with members of the same sex, but some very, very close friendships of the cuddle/flirt variety, and a few largely innocent encounters - just kissing and maybe a little boob action. It was always a possibility for me, but I never met someone that really interested me that much.

NL: I never had a f/f relationship either. When I was very young, probably 12? I had an experience with an older girl. We were 'pretending' I was the boy.

SC: Oh wow, really? I sometimes wish, now, that I'd tried a bit more...but you never know these things at the time.

NL: Well, I started young and had WAY too much experience with the boys. I never thought about REALLY being with a woman til college, and then there were too many guys. ;)

NL: This just in...we have a special question from bellaslover, one of the resident boytoys in the fandom. He loves you, by the way. Says to tell you your fic is awesome.

SC: That made me all giddy for some reason.

NL: Yeah, I think he makes us all a little giddy...

SC: Can I go fangirl him? And how did I not put together that "bellaslover" is a guy?? What the fuck is wrong with me? *facepalm*

NL: *laughs* I only knew because he was a frequent visitor on the AIEK thread when I was. Which brings me to his question...

SC: God, I'm grinning like a fucking idiot. I've been wondering what a guy (other than RLJ, 'cause I make him read it, and he blushes whenever Jasper is awesome) would think of JOotG...

NL: Aww, yay! Well, here is his question ~ he has requested both our responses: Which actual act of male on male gets you the hottest? Please be specific...

NL: Guests first. :)

SC: Oh wow...That's a tough one because I have to admit to a fierce love for gay porn (that predates my slash obsession, actually). I'm trying to think of my favorite images...Okay, I have a serious thing for any guy stroking I think my absolute favorite has to be one guy giving the other a blowjob and stroking himself while doing it. God...Fuck. Me. *laughs* I'm not shy, am I?

NL: I. Just. Fell. In. Love. Harder. *thud*

SC: Eeee! Really?

NL: I cannot tell you how much I love gay porn. It's an auditory thing for me, as well as the presence of twice or thrice the peen. :)

SC: YES, YES, YES! I prefer it to traditional porn most of the time.

NL: Me, too! I HATE the female voices...

SC: I do, too...and I hate the fake look most of the time.

NL: ...but hot guys grunting? HOLY FUCK.

SC: YES! Good god...Hey, what's your favorite? You didn't answer.

NL: favorite. *thinkthinkthink*

SC: *giggles* I'm a total twelve year old girl right now because of bellaslover...

NL: Did I mention that he's bisexual? *wiggles eyebrows* He just got even sexier, didn't he?

SC: Oh, hell. That's all kinds of hot. *clears throat*

NL: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, okay...back to the hot bisexual's wonderful question. My favorite actual specific thing about m/m sexin...

SC: Aside from the grunts and moans and cursing and two fuckhot peens instead of one?

NL: Yes...that's a biggie for me ~ the auditory element. Then there's the rubbing of the peens together...that's fucking HOT.

SC: Oh, god YES. I love the just raw physical strength, too. The way they can just sort of shove each other around.

NL: Mmm...yes.

SC: But the act, bb...which act? :)

NL: For me, it's the actual moment of penetration.

SC: See, that was second on my list. What do you like about it?

NL: The slow trust in the thrust.

SC: Mmmm...I can definitely see that. For me, penetration of any kind is a major turn on.

NL: Agreed. I feel that way about f/m penetration, too.

SC: *laughs* Seriously...let's get married!

NL: Yes! I'll bring the bring the sexy bi-boy!

SC: Fuck, yes!

NL: It'll be a HOT time in the old town TONIGHT! ;)

From acireamos:

Do you actually play WoW? Pre BC? Are you rp, pve or pvp? What about Bella and Jasper?

SC: I started playing WoW about two months after release and was part of the oldest guild on my server for a long time. We play on an RP server, and that was an RP guild, but there was some drama over raiding - the hard core RPers didn't like us raiding, basically - so we ended up splitting off. I became a raid leader way back in the days of Molten Core and Onyxia's Lair, and I've lead all through vanilla WoW and Burning Crusade. I have not lead during Wrath of the Lich King because something else *coughs* caught my attention. Bella plays a human warrior and is one of the guild's MTs while Jasper plays a female human rogue - he thinks the male figures are too big to be rogues.

I am assuming Bella is using her main in the raiding, but what would her alt be?

SC: Bella's alt is a draenei human priest. She likes healing. I think about this way too much, don't I?

Bella playing D&D is really cool, i love that she is doing things that are not considered mainstream. How detailed are you planning on writing the D&D and what kind of character do you think Edward would be? Your Edward and Canon Edward. Lawful Good?

SC: I am not planning to write the D&D sessions too in depth because I think it would be pointless for a lot of the readers ;) I will likely do an outtake though. Edward...that's a tough one. I think he would enjoy the more protective roles, such as a paladin or a warrior. Could there be a Lawful Morose? Because I think that would be soooo Edward ;) As it is, I think canon Edward is LG, but my Edward is probably NG at heart.

Will you be using the old rules for D&D or the new manual?

SC: Bella was resistant at first, but the guys convinced her to try fourth edition, which is what they're rolling up at the moment.

From serenecaffeine (for both):

We'll start off with the tame questions... What was your reaction when you got your very first review?

SC: I was actually pretty terrified to read it, even though I knew it was from AHelm. I'd been talking to her for a couple of days about possibly publishing it, so I figured she'd be nice - I was still scared :P I got three reviews for chapter 1 before I published 2, and I was afraid of each of them. :) Of course, I'm still terrified each time I publish a new chapter.

NL: Terrified is a good word for it, SC. My first review was from my Tater, antiaol. She had beta'd my monster of a one-shot ~ I can't tell you how many times she read through that damn chapter. Still, she cheered me on & encouraged me by leaving an awesome review. My reaction? "Well, if no one else does, at least my beta likes my story." ;)What inspires/drives you to write? Music, movies, people, real life, etc.?

SC: Most of my characters are based at least in part on people I know, so they definitely drive me. This particular story has a lot of my own life in it, but I draw inspiration from everywhere. I never write without music, and I often find inspiration in odd places - poetry, novels, sometimes movies, just everywhere. There's no one source of inspiration for me. My playlist for this story is all over the place and would probably make anyone else a little afraid.

NL: Heh...I'm sure I would love your playlist,

SC: However, I could not write to it. No reflection on you there, however. I can't write to music. Music moves me too fully. I cannot listen and not get swept up in the music. I always end up singing along. I even tried writing to Vivaldi. Yeah...I was conducting the orchestra in the middle of the coffeeshop. *sigh* So while I can't draw on music while I'm writing, there's always a song in my head. The characters I write tend to reflect people I know ~ I can't do 'pick a personality out of the air.' They almost always have attributes of people in my real life.

Have you ever had an AVID reader/fan? And my AVID, I basically mean a stalker? Ha ha ha!

SC: Umm...yes. And I love her very much ;)

NL: Aww...thanks, SC. I love you, too. :) You did mean me, right...?

SC: Oh god, you just made me blush and go all fangirl...Any tips you could give to newbies who've just started posting and those who are considering posting their first fic?

SC: I would say that the hardest part is to actually click that submit button. To make yourself feel a little more comfortable, I'd suggest trying to meet someone you can talk to - connecting with an author through the way you review their fics, maybe contacting an author through helps to have someone you have a good relationship with who understands that feeling of "Oh fuck! What did I just do??" Beyond that, I'd say just write the best story you can, edit it the best it can be, and just publish it. It will never be perfect, but you want to get it as close as you can. As far as gaining readers, I think answering reviews goes a long way. If there's a twilighted thread for your story, go answer posts there. It takes some time and effort to build a stronger reader base, but I would not trade it for anything. I love talking to readers.

NL: One piece of advice I would give is if you aren't sure of your grammar/punctuation skills, get a beta. Or two. I would be a comma DISASTER were it not for mine. Also, be a thoughtful reviewer. Anyone who writes knows how much effort goes into each and every chapter. A polite, encouraging review goes a long way in building good in the fandom, as well as relationships, as SC mentioned. Finally, do what my bestie and I do. We read our chapters out loud to one another. I read hers. She reads mine. Does it get awkward? Hell, YES! Still, we think it's a great exercise in hearing how someone else reads your work.

Now for the racier ones... Ever done something you wish you could take back? Stolen something? Hurt a friend? Sex with someone? Etc., etc.?

SC: Oh good lord...absolutely. pick one, I'd say there was a guy I dated after my college boyfriend that I really, really should have avoided. My now-husband told me at the time I was a "fucking idiot" - and he was right.

NL: There are WAY too many to mention...things that shouldn't have been done or said. Would I reduce the number of guys who got the goods? Most assuredly. Still, I am of the belief that all of our choices make us who we are. I'm pretty content with who I am today, so it's hard to look back with too much regret.

Do you own a Rabbit? If no, you so should! If yes, very smart lady! (*psst... Also if yes, who doesn't? ;) *)

SC: Yes. Mmmm...

NL: Okay, answering this question could likely cause me to be unceremoniously kicked OUT of the Perv Pack. I do NOT own a rabbit. Before I am flogged & mocked *gigglesnort*, there is a reason (oh, and I do have a wide range of assorted goodies otherwise...). My husband and I were recently shopping for toys at a local shop and we got into a deep discussion about the glorious rabbit. I wondered why he'd never bought me one. He wondered why I'd never bought myself one. Come to find out, we both have issues with little animals on our sex toys. The ears freak me out, people! Butterfly wings I'm good with. Rabbit parts? Not so much. I'll stick to my 8 inch purple vibe, thank you very much. Sans ears. ;)

SC: Oh hell...don't ruin my favorite toy for me by making me think of the animal parts!!What was your most unusual sexual experience? SC: I've actually had a fairly tame sex life. It's fantastic, but I've not been all that adventurous, I guess. I think probably the funniest sexual experience was sex on the sand dunes at the beach. It was amazing under the moonlight with the sound of the ocean...right up until the windstorm. LOL Sand in those places is not a lot of fun...

NL: Even though I've had a colorful past, my favorite "unusual" experiences have happened with my husband...such as the time we went away for a weekend to a European Bed & Breakfast in the mountains. The couple that owned the place were easily in their mid-seventies. At dinner one night, the darling lady innkeeper came to our table to see how we were enjoying our stay. We told her how much we were loving everything and specifically the authentic German imported beer (best shit EVER). She encouraged us to buy a few extras and take them out with us to the hot tub that night. We thanked her politely, but explained that we hadn't brought our suits (it was March in the mountains, you know?). She leaned in and winked at us and said in her adorable accent, "Who needs da suits? I'll make sure da lights are left off for ya." And she we did. Goooood times. Still, it's not everyday an elderly woman encourages you to skinny dip in her jacuzzi...

From algonquinrt:

How many hours a week do you play WoW you play Alliance or Horde?

SC: I have to confess that I let my WoW account lapse about a month ago. It seems my fanfiction obsession did not go well with my WoW one...and fanfic won ;) But when I was raiding, I did the bigger raids three nights a week for about 6 hours a night, and I played for about 3-4 hours every night other than those. I am Alliance all the way - my main character is a human warrior (I'm a main tank and raid leader), but I also have several others.

From naelany:

Who do you see as your Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Emmett & Rose?

SC: This one is tough because I really see the characters, for the most part, as these images that are only inside my head. They developed when I first read Twilight and have been with me ever since. The only exception is my Edward. He's the only one I've been able to find in the real world so far, and he is absolutely Ben Godfre. I nearly fell out of my chair when I first saw him because he's exactly what I pictured Edward as - once he's all grown up and has spent years playing soccer and working out. ;)

Why did you become a teacher? Why the grade you teach? Why English?

SC:My decision to teach was one of the most random things ever. I had a job doing graphic design, typesetting, and copyediting for a printing company. One day, I thought, "Huh...I think I might like to teach." I had a BA in English, so I logged onto the teaching website in my state, applied for a few jobs, and got one starting in February. I should have run away because that first year was hell, literally. But I love it now. Why 8th grade? I enjoy how they're finally growing into their own personalities and can carry on conversations, but they're still ready to learn. It's a great age. English...fuck, that could take all day. I am extremely passionate about literature and always have been. I knew going into college that I was going to be an English major, and if I can study it, write criticism, and write creatively for the rest of my life, I'll be a pretty happy person.

What is your favorite poem? Favorite poet? Favorite author/story (not fic)?

SC: Wow, this is tough...I know everyone who reads JOotG is expecting Donne, but I'm not entirely sure he's my favorite poet. He's definitely my favorite literary figure. I think William Blake is my favorite poet. My favorite poem is...really, really hard to decide. Fuck. Either "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron...or "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll...or "My Life Closed Twice Before Its Close" by Emily Dickinson...or maybe "Song: Sweetest Love, I Do Not Go" by John Donne. Favorite author is currently Neil Gaiman, and my favorite novel by him is either American Gods or Anansi Boys.

Which character in Twilight do you identify with most?

SC: I definitely identify most with Bella as I can't walk across a flat surface without tripping over my own feet, have a love of literature, and various other little things that pull me to her. I have a lot in common with Rosalie, though, especially the way she struggles with her self worth and her tinkering with cars. I think I have Jasper's empathy as well - though I wish I could affect how people feel as easily :P

What is your guilty little pleasure?

SC: Probably writing fanfiction :)

If you could meet any one person, dead or alive, who would it be, and why? What would you ask them?

SC: You know...I tried to think deeply about this and get all philosophical, but in the end, it keeps coming back to the same guy. Layne Staley, original lead singer for Alice in Chains. He was my first celebrity crush/obsession, and I am crazily drawn to his music. I remember being heartbroken when I heard the news of his death, especially since the news anchor was so flippant about it. There are a million things I would ask him, but most of all, I would just want to tell him that I was pretty fucked up too, and listening to his music through AIC touched me and helped me heal.

If you could choose to live anywhere, at any point in time, when and where would it be, and why?

SC: My gut reaction is to say Renaissance England, but...eww. Still, I don't think I could pass up that sort of flourishing in thought and literature and the arts, so I guess I'd put up with piss being poured out of windows.

From mirul:

Do your family and friends know you're writing and are they actually reading it?

SC: They know I'm writing it, but my family has not read it. The real life inspiration for Jasper reads it and thinks I make him look way too good (he's totally fucking wrong, by the way - he never has seen himself clearly). I have a few other RL friends who read it, and I just won't talk to them about Edward's shower time ;) I did get a squealing phone call from one of them after "Some Lovely Glorious Nothing" posted.

Are you one of those uhm...horny ladies that when you read a good smut your husband is a very lucky man afterwards?

SC: Umm...yes.

From MaleficentKnits:

Does your significant other support your writing?

SC: He really does support my writing, but I know he wishes I would focus more on my novel. That's the one he and I talk about more often. He loves that I'm gaining a bit more confidence as a writer through the practice and conversations I have about my fanfiction, but he loves the original idea I'm working on, and he wants to read it. (ADDED the following) For the most part, he sooo doesn't get the ff thing, but he acts out stuff with me at times (lol) like the whole pinkie thing the first time.

NL: Awwwwww...that's too sweet!

SC: Yeah, he's a sweetheart to be a foul-mouthed marine.

Has anyone optioned your story for a movie?

SC: Hehe, no...

What color are your eyes? Your underwear?

SC: My eyes are blue, and my underwear right now is green (ooh...I think that's The Naughty Librarian's favorite color...)

NL: Rawrrr, ya tease.

Do you have pets?

SC: I have a beagle named Bailey that I love - she goes with me a lot of times when I leave home. One of my cats, Kirre, was named for these weird psionic cat-like creatures in D&D because I was coding psions for the MUD when I got her. My other cat, Fred, was named by my RLJ - I still have him from when we lived together.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

SC: That's a really tough question that I would never be able to answer if I thought too much about it, so I'm going to go with my gut reaction and say Greece. Greek mythology was one of my first passions - I started reading it when I was about 10, and I've wanted to visit the ruins since then.

From NelsonSmandela:

What do you like to read besides Twilight/ff?

SC: I love anything by Neil Gaiman, so I pick up anything new he puts out. I read a strange mix of things - I have a never-ending list of "classics" I want to read, so I work through that, but I also pick up anything that catches my eye at the bookstore. In general, fantasy is my favorite, and I really enjoy J.V. Jones. She's a British author who wrote the Book of Words trilogy, the Sword of Shadows trilogy, and a stand alone called The Barbed Coil. I fucking LOVE her level of detail, and I'm waiting for the newest one to come out.

From americnxidiot:
Dear SC: Pinkieward is one of the sweetest Edward's I've ever read, but you managed to make him that sweet without sacrificing his masculinity. Where the hell did you get the inspiration for him? And where can I find one?

SC: Aww, thanks :) Actually, I know part of this is answered elsewhere in the interview, but I started writing this Edward because he's what I hope a friend of mine from group therapy found. I draw on a few of my guys for the things he says and does. One in particular is where I draw all the sweetness/romance from. The humor and anger and all that comes a bit from him but more from the other boys. As far as where you can find one...I'm happy (sorry?) to say that all my guys are married now. ;)
Dear Naughty Librarian:

Norbert Leo Butz knocks on your front door, declaring his love and offering to do anything you wanted. Would you a) have him sing for you or b) have your 'wicked' (heh, a pun) way with him?

NL: Heh...I love you, Rach, and you know what my answer will be, don't you? I would make him sing to me WHILE I'm having my 'Wicked' way with him. Ooh! Maybe we'd sing the duet "As Long As You're Mine" while humping like rabbits...yes. ;) (For those unaware, Norbert Leo Butz played the original role of 'Fiyero' in the Broadway musical 'Wicked.')

SC: Dude, Fiyero was hot in the novel, and the musical just made him hotter. I'm so jealous, bb.

NL: Umm, you're welcome to join us... ;)

From PurdueLiz:

For SC: Where did you come up with the idea for JOotG? Are you a gamer like Bella?

SC: As soon as I decided to write fanfiction, this was the story I wanted to tell first. There is a lot of me in this - I have a group of guys who have known me for about sixteen years now. We hang out and watch football, game together, do cookouts, just...lots of different things. I am absolutely a gamer, and the majority of Bella's personality and interests are mine.

From cicada:

I've such a soft spot for this story. It's awesome to see a Bella in these stories who is nerdy and sexy and smart, and who gets the great guy because of the kind of person she is, not just on pure accident or because she needs protecting. How many of the things Bella and the boys do in the story are part of SorceressCirce's life? Do you watch MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000)? Do you play D&D and WoW? How much of your own life have you put into the character? Inquiring nerds want to know! HA.

SC: I touched on this a bit earlier, but I'll expand here :) I can't think of anything that Bella and the boys do that is not a part of my life in some way. All through college, my friends and I were addicted to MST3K. We'd hang out and watch all night (btw, do not ever watch The Exorcist followed by Aladdin because you were scared as fuck and then finish it up with MST3K. Weirdest. Nightmares. Ever.). I have been a DM for 16 years now, so I've played D&D from second through fourth editions. I do play WoW, although I let my account lapse. ;) It's happened a couple of times before, and I'm sure I'll get back into it. I already miss my guild there, especially when I hear the voices yelling through my husband's speakers while he's raiding. I'll go back soon - I have no doubts. Bella has a bit of me in every aspect of her, from her trauma to her geeky habits to her particular loves in literature. She is not me, though. I just sort of use those things to flesh her out and make her seem real.

From Ninapolitan:

For NL: Does your husband know that you're our Naughty Librarian?

NL: My husband DOES know I'm the Perv Pack's Naughty Librarian ~ I try to keep him aware of my online activities and he does the same. It's rather, um...entertaining.

How often does he get to take advantage of your pigtails? Does he know that if I ever get to meet you that we're running away together, skipping merrily along, topless with pigtails?

NL: Heh...he takes advantage of the piggies as often as possible ~ they make nice reins when he's taking me from behind. ;) (For those who don't know me, I love to wear my hair in piggy-braids. And yes, I'm 35.) Nina, hubs has nixed the running away bit. He says you only get me if he gets your hot Italian boobs. He says the topless skipping would be appreciated.

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

NL: My all-time favorite alcoholic beverage is a margarita on the rocks, extra salt. TANGY! *ahh!*

If you could pick any member of the PPSS to bone, with your husband's involvement of course, who would it be and you can't pick Bri b/c I know you two are fucking already.

NL: Yes, Bri (antiaol) is my numero uno h00r ~ she's been my Tater since damn near day one ~ she rocks my fucking socks & I love her HARD (take that how you will...) No offense to all the other lovely girls in the Pack ~ God knows I'd do you all if I could ~ but I'm gonna have to go with Emmy (pippapear). That yummy Rapunzel hair? That fuckhot Blighty accent? And she better be wearing those hot pink strappy heels, too... *pant*pant*pant* Come to Naughty, Emmy-pop. ;)

For SC:

In JOotG you wrote one of the most painfully difficult chapters I've probably ever read when you recalled Bella's history. First, I need to tell you that I thought given the subject matter you did it profoundly well, secondly, how hard was it to write that? Obviously your story has been planned this way from the start but how did you get into the mindset to accomplish such a daunting task?

SC: Aww, thanks Nina! I know that chapter had to be no fun for anyone to read, and it was definitely hard as fuck to write. I tried very hard to tell Bella's story as honestly as possible without either glossing over it or glorifying it. My greatest fear was that it would seem sensationalized or trivialized. It was a fine line to walk. I can, unfortunately, slip into her mindset fairly easily, so that wasn't really a problem. The hardest part was probably describing and then portraying that weird fissure I've always felt when telling a story like that - you really don't feel all the emotions fully, even though you're reliving the terror, and I wanted to get that across. As far as getting in and staying in the mindset, I have a playlist called "Bella's Suicide Watch" that was with me for weeks as I was writing that one. I kept rereading the chapter to make sure I hadn't missed anything important - I really did want to cry, though, when I then had to go write it from EPOV (and then again when I had to rewrite it from EPOV when my computer ate the file). I was very relieved to hear that people felt I'd done her story justice.

Okay, now to lighten the mood, who is your fave male Twi character? Female? Do those answer contribute to how or why you write them as you do?

SC: Edward is by far my favorite male Twi character. I know in real life, he would drive me insane with the way he always knows what's best for Bella, etc, but really - he's a superior being, so I cut him some slack ;) My favorite female character is actually probably Alice. She's such an important figure in my story, but she's not central to it, and I hate that I don't get to write her more. I may have to do a few outtakes with her. I think my Edward is more aware of his faults, which probably comes from the way I feel about him - of course, that just makes him more perfect to me, which makes him end up on a higher pedastal. Funny how that works ;)

From tby789:

NL: Do you really look like a naughty librarian?

SC: *snickers* So do you really look like a naughty librarian? *leers*

NL: Umm...I'd say I'm more naughty schoolgirl ~ it's the pigtails. ;)

SC: Oh dear god... lol

For both of you: If you were an alcoholic beverage, what would you be?

SC: Probably a margarita - it's cheap, delicious, and filled with my favorite alcohol - Take that how you will. :)
NL: Because margaritas are my favorite, I'd LOVE to answer the same as SC, but alas, I'm unable to do so. I tend to be very upbeat & overly nice...that would probably make me a Pina Colada. Seems like a fun idea at the beginning of the night, but the sweet can make you sick if you aren't careful. ;)

Who would play your perfect Edward?

SC: This is a tough one for me. I think Rob captures his personality well, and he has the ethereal look that I like, but his build isn't what I see for Edward based on the descriptions in the novels. Of course, I suck at the whole "Who should play...?" game. My imagination doesn't really work that way apparently.

NL: *whispers* Uh, dude. This is the part where you say, "Ben Godfre." *checks SC's temperature and shakes head* I have to say, I AM a major Robert Pattinson fan and he's been my Edward since day one. HOWEVER, Benjamin Godfre totally kicks his lovely British arse in my fantasies. I'm JUST SAYIN'...

SC: *laughs* You know, I fucking love Ben...and he's absolutely Pinkieward, but I can't help thinking that he would look a little too old to be frozen-at-17 Edward. Now if we're deciding which of the two should be all shirtless at the end of New Moon? Umm...sorry, Rob. I know you've been working out, bb, and you do look awesome, but fucking hell Ben...

What is your favorite and least favorite dirty word?

SC: 'Fuck' has got to be my favorite (though it's so not dirty to me) and hmm...'cunt' is probably my least favorite. I don't really have a problem with dirty words though. :P

NL: I also like 'fuck' ~ such an expressive word...;) Uhmm, my least favorite is NOT considered a dirty word by most but to me it's just NASTY...

SC: What is your least favorite?

NL: 'Moist.' (I just threw up a little in my mouth)

SC: HAHAHA! I love it. That's awesome. So like Duncan Hines is bad for you, huh?

Oh, don't be ruining my muffins,

*snickers* I'm sorry. I'm sure they aren't moist...I love you.

NL: BLARGH. I love you, too. :)

From seamonkologist:

Quick question to those who enjoy/write m/m slash...when did you first realize it was something that was a turn on? And did you ever feel the need to hide that it turned you on?

SC: For slash specifically, my first exposure to it was AIEK, and it was definitely a turn on from the beginning. I love the way Jasper notices things about Edward that I really never have before (the Adam's apple stands out - jesus. Oh, and I have licked and sucked on an Adam's apple since then, and both my husband and I loved it - who knew?), and I found myself looking at men differently. I actually have never hidden that slash turned me on...and my husband even asks if I'm reading my "gay smut" when I'm squealing on the couch.

NL: I think Hope turned half of the fandom onto m/m slash ~ seriously. All I Ever Knew was my first slash fic as well, and I was immediately struck by the emotion her characters embody. You would have to be dead to NOT get turned on reading AIEK. Seriously. I was initially concerned about my husband's reaction to my new, appreciation...of all things m/m, but he has been a great sport about it. Other than my husband, sister and real life BFF, I haven't really talked to anyone about slash. Their opinions wouldn't hold much weight anyway. :)

Other random questions:

Favorite fanfic ever?

SC: There are many I love and reread, but my favorite has to be "All I Ever Knew" by manyafandom.

A great choice, this is probably the hardest question of them all for me. It's hard for me to put a fic like Behind Enemy Lines by adorablecullens next to one like The Forbidden Room by DefinatelyStaying; or The Bella Swan Diaries by Ninapolitan beside She's Royal by halojones. They all represent wonderful, rich characters and plots that are immensely different from one another. Oh, and what about Passion Fish by qjmom and Admittedly Obsessed? That one would probably take my top spot, but then what about Cullen's Island by jandco? Argh!! I can't do's like comparing apples, oranges, strawberries, kiwi... Dammit! Now I'm thinking about Bittenev's Stitches and Scars...

Hardest thing about writing fan fiction?

SC: The hardest thing, for me, about writing fanfiction is putting myself out there for such immediate response. When I write something else, like a journal article or even my own novel, it is not immediately open to conversation between me and the people who are reading it. I love how vocal readers are, but it's definitely a challenge sometimes to wait for that response and then react to it. There have been some amazing conversations come out of it, but I've also realized that I've been tempted a couple of times to alter how the story goes just because I know it's going to upset some of these people I've come to care about - but I haven't changed anything, and I won't. The story has to be truthful for the characters, not just what I wish would happen. For example, the "big event" in "Some Lovely Glorious Nothing"...I would've loved to have been able to write that without the heartfail and make it purely happy, but that's just not how these two roll...yet.

Definitely have to agree with you about putting yourself out there, SC. Hitting that submit button? Knowing people may love your work or hate it AND have the option to tell you? Makes my stomach knot up every time...

If I were to look under your bed right now, what would I find?

SC: Umm...let's wedding dress is there, all sealed away in a preservation box. There's a box of comics, an old laptop, probably some of my husband's socks, and I think that's it.

NL: My wedding album, a memento box from my husband's childhood, a tote of "Not Quite Yet" clothing, a tote of sentimental clothing, and a tote with some curtains and our uh... sex swing. *blushes* These are undoubtedly surrounded by a few resident dust bunnies.

For those of you that use 'toys,' which is your favorite?

SC: The Rabbit :)

NL: I'm gonna have to go with our rubber flogger ~ light tickle play one minute, spicy spanks the next. ;)

Many thanks to SorceressCirce for spending her time chatting with me, both from home and while on vacation. Also, thanks to bellaslover for being willing to be publicly groped and lusted over. To all those via Twitter, the Twilighted threads and email who sent in questions, THANK YOU!