Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Lemon Report 11/29/11

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The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.


Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.



AH O/S B/C


Jess - I adore C/B always. So, when Jen sent this a while again, I tucked it away for a later time. Last night, in the midst of reading a bunch of angsty, dark one-shots, I realized I needed something MUCH lighter. This was the perfect fit. Single dad, Carlisle, and single mom, Bella, are neighbors. From day one things just... work. And boy do they work WELL. So yummy.

Laura - This is such a sweet O/S! I enjoy a good C/B story and this absolutely fits that bill. This story brings the fluff but some heat as well. Thanks for the rec Jess & Jen!



AU, O/S, Carlisle/Edward, Slash, Cross-dressing


Jen - I think I’m going to need to admit to myself that I can no longer claim that cross-dressing and gender play are not my thing. The White Dress has pretty much convinced me that, yeah, this turns me on. avioleta is like the queen of Carlward. I adore her stories, and this one is my new favorite. The build-up is amazing, and when Carlisle and Edward finally allow the spark to grow into an inferno... just dead. So amazingly hot and tender and unf.

Jess - Like Jen, this isn’t normally my kind of thing, but this was hot!

Emmy - I too had reservations going into this. But I got caught up in the sexy storytelling of avioleta. Very well done. Subtle, then sizzling.

Teal - I can’t even...gah! I never could have imagined that something like this would be so fun, but it was!



Harry Potter Fic, O/S, Hermione/Scorpius, Hermione/Draco,
Warning:There is some deceptive dub-con here. And also some serious kink, but no incest.


Chele - I’m glad that my obliviousness of the HP universe allows me to stumble on pairings/situations that would otherwise drive me away, because it means I can find dirty awesomeness like this on accident. Ritualistic, rite-of-passage sex, and intensely emotional red-hot fucking all in one tidy, naughty little package. This O/S will tempt your ability to resist the wrong within you.

Jeanne - I love Chele for dropping dirty little gems like this into my inbox. Holy shit, this kinky little romp takes you right up to the edge of being not okay, and then it pulls you back, throws you on the bed and fucks you stupid with it’s awesome. I LOVE swarthy older Draco, and Hermione is surprisingly devious in her own right. Poor Scorpius so wishes he was as much of a badass as his dad. UNF!

Jen - Chele’s words about this o/s might just be what I need to convince me to dip my toe into HP fic.



AH WIP E/B


Jess - I love seeing these two so happy. Even though a wrench has just been tossed into the mix, it’s still amazing to see them work through things instead of escaping/running away from them. Together, they can make some beautiful sweet love!

Jen - Yes! What she said. Loved them making some happy memories in the barn.

Emmy - This chapter killed me. Their pain? Gah. I adore these two. They deserve so much happiness. I was even slower than Edward on the uptake in this chapter! A great chapter, in a great story!

Laura - This has been on my “to read” list for quite some time, looks like it just got moved up the list! I definitely need to start reading this, immediately!



AH, J/A/B/E, O/S


Nicoconsd - An entry for Kink Fest it def lives up to the contests title, nothing like a steaming hot boy on girl on boy on girl on girl or however it went I’m too flustered to remember, one shot to get you going in morning. :)

Jen - *&%^$@! I would not mind being Bella in this equation. js’

Jess - As a general rule, I rarely read stories like this... too much, too many... gah! But holy sweet lord this was deliciously sinful and oh so hot!

Laura - I. Have. No. Words. Okay, that’s a lie but I am as close to speechless as a wordy girl such as myself can get! That was hotter than hot and everyone should read this.



by Anonymous
AH, O/S, Bella/James/Edward


Jen - There was much flailing and squirming during the reading of this fic. We need more dirty talking James in this fandom. More Bella expanding her sexual horizons. More Edward watching. What a delicious treat; I’d thank the author with gropes, but alas, it’s posted anonymously.

Jeanne - True confession time. I was the one that left the anonymous prompt that this fic is written for and I am SO glad I did it, because this is one of the best fics I have ever read. There’s not a lot of Cuckolding fic in the world, much less in Twilight fan fic, but this fic proves what I have always believed, that Twi is made for this kink. Edward’s canon traits of guilt, hesitance and need for control are all realistic base for a cuckolding fetish. Here we understand the reasons why this fetish isn’t just about Ed watching someone else (fuckhot James FTW) fuck Bella, but is actually complex mixture of desires and needs.

Don’t be afraid, this fic is definitely edgy, but at its heart it’s about Edward and Bella expressing their love for each other in one of the most intense and rewarding ways.

Jess - Um... wow! Just go read this, because it is SO damn dirty and hot!

Trin - Please hold while I slow my breathing. This was just so fucking hot! Like Jeanne said this a wee bit scary for B/E but it is so so so worth the read.

Chele - Blown away with awesomeness. So glad some brave soul was willing to go here.

Laura - Just when you thought this report couldn’t get any hotter, it did. Sweet jaysus, that was dirty in all the best ways!



AH, O/S, Ed/Seth, Slash


Jeanne - I LOVE Ed/Seth fic, and this one does not disappoint. Our sexy boys have a naughty, dirty night at the carnival that is sure to curl your toes and explode your pants. UNF!

Jess - Smoldering and so fun! At a carnival... no less!

Trin - I have to agree I love E/S slash the best I think, they are always so much fun and add in a carnival and it’s just a delicious read.

Emmy -HOW THE FUCK HAD I NOT READ THIS???!! So very good! Edward and Seth fics are very good. My third fave pairing after Ed/Riley, Ed/Carlisle!



AH, O/S, Alice/Esme


Jess - Who would have thought a prompt like “AU. Flower Porn. Stamens. Penetration. Fuck reality. I think that's all ;) You choose the character.” could be so hot! And femmeslash to boot! It is. Go read it.

Jen - Gorgeous and sexy. I’m kind of in love with Alice & Esme.



AH, Drabblefic, WIP, E/B


Emmy - I do love a good GeekyWard story. And this comic reading sweetheart Edward is great to read. There is no real lemon as such but lots of self-loving and exploration. An easy, light and fun sexy read.



AH, Complete, SLASH, E/J


Emmy - This former Slash Brigade pick has a fluffy outtake this weeek! Plus a yummy blow-job to boot! Slashy and fluffy fun? Just what the doctor ordered...

Teal - This was totally sweet and silly! A very humorous break from what the rest of the story was like, and it was wonderful to see these hot boys together again.



AH, O/S, KinkFest entry, SLASH, 3Some, J/E/R


Emmy - I am THE biggest slag for Riley and Edward together in a fic. So I loved this! & devoured it! I am still hopeful that there will be more Edward/Riley to come from TwiKinkFest. (PLEASE WRITE IT FOR ME!). But this was done very well. Jasper is deffo the star in this. But the special guest appearance from Riley was a yummo yummo delight!

Jen - I don’t even know what to say here. Maybe that on Thanksgiving I said I was thankful for the organizers of the TwiKinkFest for bringing us such goodies? This was just delicious. Jasper’s kind of devious, Edward will go along with most anything Jasper suggests, and Riley is taken by surprise but totally on board for debauchery. Yes please!

Laura - Well, this was awesome! I never thought I would love slash the way I do, I’m glad I expanded my horizons. Some of the best stories in the fandom are slash and this is a terrific example of that. Give this story a shot, it is ridiculously hot.



AU, O/S, SLASH, Dark, Carlisle/Alec


Emmy - Slightly horrorish, angsty and yet beautifully sweet. Tender, tender and heartbreaking. I loved this fic!

Jen - Wow! This is a situation I’ve never seen Carlisle in- on the run, hiding from the Volturi after taking drastic action to protect his family, and, zomg, having a lover. It’s like Em says- such a mix of emotions and pure unadulterated hotness!



Harry Potter Fandom, WIP, Draco/Hermione


Chele - Don’t be intimidated by the size of this fic, because it is amazing, and you’re going to be unable to stop reading it until you’ve had every chapter. Following the disaster on the Astronomy tower, Draco is placed in hiding at Hogwarts in Hermione’s rooms where their initial hatred for one another eventually turns to an amazing and passionate relationship. The smut is intense and perfectly placed. The writing here is superb and it had my emotions tied in knots. So good! Quick, someone read it so you can flail with me!



AH, O/S, E/B, spanking


Jen - There’s something so hot about the way Bella takes care of her husband here. She knows what he needs, and makes sure he gets it. It sounds like they don’t have a full on D/s relationship, but it’s something that they play with when Edward needs it. I love how it plays with the canon aspect of Bella as the sexual aggressor. Unf!

Jess - I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about a crying Edward but wow. Bella taking charge, giving him what he needs and owning him in the process like that... and then caring for him perfectly... so good.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Slash Bridge: Rinse and Repeat

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What Perv doesn't love sexy man on man action? The truth is so many of us Pervs love slash fic that we can't just be called a team. We're the whole damn brigade! Batten down the hatches, stock up on supplies 'cause the ladies of the Slash Brigade are here to rec some slash fic.This Slash Brigade Pick is...



The Slash Brigade pick is...


Title: Rinse and Repeat
Author: Fr333bird
Chapters: 4
Words: 14, 664
Reviews: 149
Summary: For Twikinkfest. Jasper has low self esteem. He gets drunk and has sex with just about anyone. When he sobers up enough to go home he feels even worse about himself, but his roommate Peter is always there to pick up the pieces. Adult content. AH



Emmy - Now I think you all know that I am normally not much of a Jasper fan. But I completely am in this fic. It’s a short and (bitter)sweet tale of flatmates: Jasper with issues, especially around intimacy, and Peter who admires Jasper from afar. Peter is always there for him, but how long can he hang in there and watch whilst his friend falls apart? Whilst his friend gives himself away so carelessly to others. Others who will not care for him.

This was written in response to a TwiKinkFest prompt and I think Fr333bird more than does it justice. It’s sexy, as anonymous dirty sex is. But then it becomes more. As Jasper’s angst and pain comes through loud and clear. It’s not only Jasper who is hurting, but Peter, too. Boy! We really do feel his pain as he tenderly tends to the boy he loves as a friend, and perhaps as more?

The writing of these scenes is top notch. Fr333bird really pulls it off. It is not easy to write both sexily and painfully. It’s a very fine line which she masterfully balances. Some scenes are sexier and others are just downright painful to read:

"Sorry," I mutter, ashamed. "I can suck you instead, if you want."

He pulls out and I turn around. He's older than me by ten years or more, dressed smartly, nice looking. I don't meet his eyes, just drop to my knees in front of him. He pulls the condom off and I take his cock in my mouth. He's long and uncut. I taste latex and the bitter salt of pre-cum. He pushes in deep and I gag around him, my dry mouth filling with saliva. He twists his fingers into my hair and I suck hard, feeling the drool escaping from the corners of my mouth. I reach for my own cock and fist it quickly, impatient for release. He doesn't take long. I let him fuck my mouth, but he pulls out when he cums, painting my face with thick white stripes. The shock triggers my own orgasm and I gasp and grip myself harder, coming all over my hand and his shoes.

Peter is just wonderful. He’s an absolute dreamy, top bloke!

Peter grips my wrists gently and pulls me up, wrapping an arm around my waist and supporting me as I stagger towards the bathroom. The bath is full of water, vapor curling up from the surface in delicate twists. The mirror is steamed up and I'm glad that I can't see my reflection. I don't want to see this broken, pathetic person.

He helps me out of my clothes. His hands are careful as he helps me pull my t-shirt over my head. When I fumble with my fly he brushes my hands away, his fingers warm on mine. He unfastens the buttons quickly, efficiently and pushes my pants down. He supports me with his hands on my shoulders as I step out of them and kick them aside. I manage to shove my underwear down and step out of those too.

I feel exposed in front of Peter, naked in a way that I never feel when I'm being fucked by a stranger. I step into the tub, wincing as I sink into the steaming water. I sit, hunched over, hugging my knees to my chest and let my head rest on my arms. I feel numb, somewhere outside myself again. I lack the energy to do anything other than sit there and let the warm water soothe me.

Peter wets a washcloth and runs it over my back, the fabric scratches a sore spot and I wince. He stops and I feel him lean close to look.

But how can he help Jasper when Jasper doesn’t think he is worthy of his care? We see how both Jasper and Peter suffer from Jasper’s decision to withdraw from Peter and his old ways of living.

This story is compelling. You ache for both Jasper and Peter to get the happy ending they deserve. The love they deserve together. But life is not easy or straightforward and this is written so well. As I said that balance of pleasure and pain is so well communicated and the tender hope of both Jasper and Peter alongside their pains and fears is perfectly written and captured. A brilliant fic. Must read!

Jeanne - I love how beautiful things can grow in the most dirty, wounded places in the world. This fic was written to answer a prompt for the TwiKinkFest and I am so grateful to those brave ladies for laying fertile grounds where fantastic fics like Rinse and Repeat can bloom. It is not pretty, but it is precious.

The story starts out rough, as in dirty, degrading bathroom sex that I will admit turned me on as much as it also disgusted me. Seeing poor Jasper debasing himself for the sake of the escape that comes through hot, anonymous sex both broke and won my heart in the space of a few paragraphs.

While Jasper’s torment is graphic and raw, so is the way that Peter lovingly cares for him. That’s what won me with this fic the contrast of degradation and transcendence. At the heart of it all is love, Jasper’s clumsy, desperate need for the kindness that only Peter can provide to him. The gentle, sweet sexiness of their sex scenes are a stark departure from the rough, filthiness of the sex Jasper has with other men. Through that comparison we see the blinding beauty of their bond and love.

Rinse and Repeat isn’t an light read, but it is worth your the journey to see these two boys find each other and love. Give it a chance, you won’t regret it. I promise.

Jess - I fell in love with this story from early in chapter one and was practically begging for more by the time I got to the end. I am ecstatic Fr333bird actually continued this, because I needed to see how Jasper and Peter came through on the other end.

The girls have already laid out a pretty clear picture of what this story is about and how utterly heartbreaking it was to watch Jasper’s self-loathing and need for something, anything, fill that void. I think what I’d like to focus on is Peter. He is amazing in this story. He has loved Jasper for years, suffered in silence that his affections haven’t been returned (partly because he never said anything), and watched Jasper come home drunk and reeking of sex too many times to count. The opening chapter gives us a glimpse of the tender way Peter cares for Jasper as he draws him a bath, bathes him, helps him dress, and then holds him while Jasper falls apart.

But last night – last night was the worst I've ever seen him. The sight of him in the bathtub, so vulnerable, marked by careless teeth and fingers made me want to weep. I roll onto my front, burying my face into my pillow and clench my fists as I feel the hot tears prickling behind my eyelids. I don't know how much longer I can bear to watch him do this to himself.

The next chapter is all Peter, and it feels good to get into his head, to feel his pain, and to see why he does what he does and why he sticks by Jasper’s side after everything. Of course, the journey they take as individuals and together is fraught with difficult times, but the way the learn to forgive and love is so fulfilling and perfect.

This story will punch you in the gut, but damn it hurts so good. I am itching for the promised epi! I cannot wait to get a glimpse of what lies ahead for these two boys.

Teal - Did someone say Peter and Jasper? *grins*

When I first saw the premise of this story, I was very hesitant to jump into something that would have angst and Teal-heartbreak between my two favorite boys - my OTP. Thankfully, my Pervs steered me back on track and encouraged me to get reading. Gah! So glad I did!

Jasper is fucked up. There is no doubt about that, and it’s from the very first word of the story. The beautiful part is that as many issues as he has, this turns out to be a story about the power of friendship and love. (And, oh yeah, really fuck hot boysecks!) Even when it kills him Peter is there for his friend, giving Jasper the support and care he needs. To Jasper, that means more than anyone else in the world.

In a short, concise package, this is a beautiful love story, a heartwarming journey of healing, and a hot-as-fuck erotica. I don’t think I could have asked for more with these boys.

*prints copies and snuggles with the pages*

Jen - Rinse and Repeat could not be more different than Fr333bird’s previous Twific, He Who Dares Watches. Luckily for us, Fr333bird writes angst just as well as she does funny and sweet.


The first chapter finds Jasper in the middle of an anonymous sexual encounter. It’s clear pretty quickly that Jasper is a very troubled man; that he isn’t seeking sex for pleasure, but as a way of numbing and punishing himself. For years his roommate and best friend, Peter, has ached, watching the man he loves indulge in self-destructive behavior. Peter is there for him, no matter how it kills him to see Jasper so broken. Even if Jasper can’t see it and Peter finds it impossible to say it, Peter’s love for Jasper comes through in the tender way he cares for Jasper when he couldn’t possibly care for himself.

One of the things I love best about this story is that there isn’t an instant fix for Jasper once he and Peter have sex. It’s hot, of course, but Jasper can’t believe that anyone, let alone Peter, could love him.

The way he looked at me while we were fucking... no one's ever looked at me like that before. He looked at me as if I was something precious, something wonderful. And while he was moving inside me I could almost believe that it was true. But once it was over I was swamped with self-loathing again.


Jasper avoids getting wasted and going to clubs for a while, even though he’s pushed Peter away after their night together. But eventually he can’t resist his need to numb his pain, and he goes out. Something happens, though, when he’s about to let himself be fucked by another stranger: Jasper decides he can’t let it happen.

"I couldn't go through with it. Something felt different. When it came down to it, I didn't want it. I didn't want to be touched by someone who didn't give a shit about me." I clench my fists, my fingernails cutting into my palm and my voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. "All I could think about was you."


Fortunately, Peter is strong enough to both admit that he wants something more with Jasper *and* to set some ground rules before trying for a relationship. So many times in fic we hear the line ‘I’ll take you however I can have you’. I cheered that Peter respects himself enough to demand more from Jasper. As Jasper recovers and they figure out what it means to be a couple, the UST grows and grows. When they do sleep together, it’s not just fucking, it’s truly making love.

Like the other girls have said, it’s not an easy read. The ugliness is pretty intense, but it just makes Jasper’s recovery and their blooming love that much sweeter.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Winner of the Pervy Picspiration Banner Challenge 11-26-11






The winner of the Pervy Picsperation Banner Challenge is...

Entry#9 by annamorphos



We would like to thank everyone that participated, and we hope that they will be back in four weeks for our next challenge.

If you are interested in adopting any of the banners that were made for this challange go over to the adoption thread in the TwiFicPics’s forum.

Feel free to contact contest@twificpics.com with any questions.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Pervy Picspiration 11-25-11

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Emmy wants your words. (amongst other things...) Every week Emmy will post a pic or 2 - containing phwoarrrr-worthy blokes from across the seas, some hunks from closer to home and sometimes some dangerously delish knickers and lingerie. What do we want from you in return? Well...... We want you to be inspired by these pics and to leave Emmy a delish drabble or longer story, or even a new chapter of an existing WIP, inspired by the pic(s). Remember it can be from ANY fandom you wish...

Leave your story offering in the comments section and, if you want to, post it to your FF account (pm the link to Emmy at http://www.fanfiction.net/~pippapear) mentioning the PPSS, by the following Thursday morning. (If you need more time, please don’t hesitate in still sending it to Emmy when you are done! We will still read and feature it!)

Each Friday Emmy will reveal her faves and at the same time post the next pervy picspiration for your pleasure. Non-Canon writers don’t despair - Emmy might be tragically WussPerv©, but there are plenty of equal opportunity pervs in the pack longing to read those if Emmy turp’s out.
Emmy is DYING to see what dirty delights you are going to come up with...

*Please make sure your story offering is in line with our mission statement

Please do give me some feedback if you are no longer finding the pics inspiring, or you think you need more than a week to get an entry together - please do let me know in the comments below, or on twitter, or on my ff profile.

How do you like the sexy rumpled look then?







This week we have more Bella/Emmett. Hunky Emmett is pretty popular with the birds huh?
The ever-lovely Sxkitn returns or our delight!!!! This is our fifth, weekly dorty delight from her! Thankfully she found pervy picspiration this week for her Bella/Emmett tale of jealousy and hidden emotions, For the Klien’s ch 5! This week she worked with that sexy bed-head look and went all out (quite literally!)! Please review and send her some love.
I think I am rooting for the wrong person in this fic! But its great fun!

We relaunched our joint contest with TwiFicPics for a monthly pervtastic banner competition! Read more about it here Pervy Banner TwiFicPics Competition. Make sure you go look! There are AMAZING entries yet again.


So please, please PLEASE go show Sxkitn some review love. We always want more, please let them know it was worth their while to get inspired.

So this week? Lets get exposed! I’m talking peek-a-boo arses, nipples, tattoos, boobs, cheeks, hips.. You name it. They are being exposed! Either by mistake or completely on purpose. Which do you prefer? They doing it for someones attention? Or its completely innocent and therefore so much sexier? As always it is your call! Completely up to you....

Remember you can take the prompt anyway and get writing - any character or fandom! Or you can be inspired in ANY way by the pics and write something tasty - it doesn’t matter! Just write me something.

Whatever the pics below do to you - write it... No matter what smutty delights they unlock.
SO what do these pics do for you, do to you? Just go for it and WRITE anything for ANY FANDOM that the pics or prompt inspires..!
Write me anything - be it Slash, FemmeSlash, AU or AH, canon or even OOC... AND remember for any fandom... Perhaps one of the pics inspires you to write a new chapter in a work-in-progress, or try something new. Be it a drabble, be it a one-shot or be it a WIP, just write for me. Make it sexy, make it sweet and tender, make it sensuous, erotic or downright naughty. Your call. Just let the inspiration take you - be you a BNA or an innocent virgin, wanting your Pervy Picspiration cherry popped for fun. Write whatever the pics inspire in you.....


























I’m waiting.........

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 11-23-11

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Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


DISCLAIMER:
The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.



Since today is Thanksgiving, it is only right that Naughty Nurse Kimpy should list a few of the things she’s thankful for this year.

Thank you to Susan B. Anthony and the hordes of women who fought so hard to give women the right to vote;

Thank you to Margaret Sanger and the women who followed in her footsteps who championed the importance of birth control;

Thank you to all the women who tried to get the ERA passed in the ‘70s. Even though their efforts were unsuccessful, they made it possible for women to knock on that glass ceiling. Today, many of us have a choice of whether to have a career, or be stay at home moms--a choice our mothers and grandmothers never really had.

Most of all, thank you to all of you, the women who read this blog. This fandom is full of so many strong, intelligent women who challenge me to be my best every day. I’m eternally grateful.


Naughty Nurse Kimpy ran across something interesting this week, so naturally, she needs to share it with you. It helps to explain why so many women have difficulty achieving an orgasm through penetration alone. It’s called The Rule of Thumb. If the distance between your clit and the vaginal opening is less than 2.5 cm (approximately the length from the tip of the thumb to the first knuckle), it’s easier for you to achieve orgasms during sexual penetration. If the distance is more than that, it becomes more difficult to get that O-face place. On an aside, it also means that if you have a partner with hands like Rob Pattinson, don’t use his thumb as a means of measurement. Just saying. *giggles*

can your breasts/nipples lose sensitivity from being squeezed too hard or stimulated too often?

Good question! In general, no, you can squeeze away at your nipples and they’ll be just as reactive as always. There are ways to lose nipple sensitivity, though, that you should be aware of. Women who get breast implants and women who pierce their nipples can be at risk for losing sensitivity after the procedures. Now, Nurse Kimpy isn’t telling you not to get your nipples pierced (god forbid), and many women will report that the piercings heighten their sensation. For some women, however, they permanently lose some sensation with those procedures. Be aware that they are a possible side effect.
I understand that ovulation can make a female more aroused for sex, considering that hormones rule our body. I'm most definitely a victim of this circumstance every month. I guess my husband is actually the victim (albeit a very willing one). But we've both noticed that his body odor spikes during the time of my ovulation. (without change to his daily routine) So, since I'm basically "in heat".......what's going on with him? Is he "in rut"? It's happened enough to be more than a coincidence. Ever heard of this?

OMG I LOVE MY READERS. Seriously, I can't emphasize that enough. You people are simply wonderful! How awesome is it that you take my silly missive on hormones and think about it in terms of your own human sexual behavior? Mr. Kimpy gets a little worried sometimes, because I'm frequently running around the house squeeing over reader questions. Trufax. Trust.

Okay, I will set my adulation aside for a moment to consider your question about the male version of being run by horny hormones. Now, the human body can do all kinds of amazing, remarkable things when it comes to responsiveness between the sexes. The uterus, for example, can actually move its position in response to the release of semen (due to the detection of testosterone)--it does this to facilitate conception. The movements are so slight that you don't notice them, but it's one of the small ways we achieve successful fertilization. And what, pray tell, is responsible for these movements? You guessed it.

HORMONES.

The specific chemicals that come into play for sexual attraction and arousal are known as pheromones. Pheromones are incredible. Without even saying a word, partners can size one another up and determine things like sexual desire, level of arousal, or fertility. Without even engaging our conscious brains, we already know the answers to those unasked questions. Pheromones can act like mini matchmakers to attract the opposite sex.

In general, women have a keener sense of smell than do men. Curiously, when it comes to sexual arousal, gay men have a sense of smell on par with straight women. Lesbians tended to have a more muted response than do straight women.

A study was done where straight men were given t-shirts worn by women who were either on the pill, or women whose cycles were regular and not otherwise controlled. The men had to rate the sexual attractiveness of the smells, and every time, they chose the t-shirts that had been worn by women who were ovulating. So, when Naughty Nurse Kimpy stomps her tiny foot to state emphatically that sex is a biologic imperative? This is what she means.

While men in general don’t react to female ovulation with their own cyclical pheromone release, as in rutting, what is most likely happening is that your husband is reacting to your ovulation-specific scent with a like scent of his own, created just for you, to make you just as aroused as you make him. I mean, how cool is that? You’re totally in-sync pheromonically (NNK thinks she just coined a new word there). Go, you! *fist pump for those rockin’ pheromones*

hi, so i was reading the question about kissing, and i wanted to ask a bit more about it. I'm really severely tongue-tied, like the thingy under my tongue goes from the tip of my tongue to where my teeth start on the bottom of my mouth. i haven't had much experience with kissing, but what experience i have had has been a bit strange and, well, hasn't worked out that well. Do you think i should get it cut? or do you have some other advice for kissing, and, hem, naughty things?


OOOH, this is really a tough one. Naughty Nurse Kimpy typically feels squicked out about telling women to modify their bodies. Unless it’s something that is truly needed, like when women have microperforate hymens, her response is to leave things as they are. Being tongue-tied, though, can cause issues for you not only sexually, but in daily life, when it comes to things like speaking. She suggests that you consult with your primary physician about this issue, to see what they recommend. It’s okay for you to address your concern about kissing (you certainly don’t need to elaborate on specifics--just talk in generalities), and to see if perhaps it makes sense to have surgery. However, NNK wants to emphasize that if you choose to stay as you are, there’s nothing wrong with that, and any guy who wants to be with you needs to accept that. If they cannot? Then that partner isn’t the right one for you. Good luck and please let me know how it goes for you.

I've recently become sexually active in the last year, only having sex about 5 times. But it's really painful for me? Is this a serious problem and are there ways to lessen the pain?


Naughty Nurse Kimpy is very sorry for the discomfort you feel when you have sex. That goes against her mantra of “fun” sex. Never fear, dear reader, there are some suggestions that might just help infuse that fun into sex for you--so let’s give it a go, shall we?

The first thing to address is the issue of lubrication. Perhaps you aren’t wet enough when you have sex to eliminate the friction that can cause you discomfort. Trust, this isn’t a critique of your ability to get sexually aroused; you might just be someone who needs more lubrication than less. Try using a long-lasting, water-based lube like KY Intrigue, Astroglide, or Pjur Woman Bodyglide.

If lube alone doesn’t solve the problem, there’s also a possibility that your partner’s peen girth is too wide. Yes, that is a genuine problem, trust me. It’s actually the penis’ girth, not length, that can cause pain during sex. If girth is indeed an issue, the good news is that using lots of lube and having regular sex will gradually allow you to stretch to a point where sex isn’t painful anymore. It also helps to be very wound up, or sexually aroused, before you move to penetration. That ensures that you’re physically ready to accommodate whatever your partner shoves your way. Literally.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy also recommends that you pay a visit to your gynecologist. They can take a look at your cooter to see if there aren’t structural issues that might be causing your physical discomfort. For example, it could be that you have a stubborn hymen that didn’t fully tear the first time you had sex. You could also have an inverted uterus, which can cause some sexual positions to be really uncomfortable. It’s possible that your partner hits your ovaries while he’s thrusting, and you might have a cyst that causing the pain. It’s always a good idea to rule out anything physical as you’re problem solving.

Give these things a try, and please follow up to let me know if they do, or do not, work. We can always brainstorm more solutions for you.




Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Lemon Report 11/22/2011



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The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.




Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.




AH Drabblefic Complete E/B


Jess - I love stories that get right to the point, and sweet mercy, Addicted starts out with bang and keeps you panting the whole way through. This is short, fast, and HOT!

Laura - I’m going to be very original and say that I’m addicted to href=http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7555939/1/Addicted>Addicted! This story was hot in every way possible. I mean, who doesn’t like a dirty talking Edward who wants to have sex with Bella in the supply closet at work? I know I do! If you haven’t read this story, what are you waiting for? :)

Nicoconsd - Having to work in an office and dress up every day has never seemed so appealing! Sometimes going to work can be fun. :)



AH WIP J/Riley


Jess - This is a continuation of one of the prompts from the TwiKink Fest . I fell in love with the first chapter, even though is was so sad to read. With chapter two, the heartbreak continues, and I’m praying with get some happy soon. Watching Peter long and ache for Jasper... too much. <33 Emmy - I think you all know by now that I love Fr333bird’s Twilight and her Merlin (MERTHUR FTW!) stories! This is no exception! Gah. I don’t know if I love Peter or Jasper more in this tender, heart achy, yet yummy tale! Moarrrrrrr please now.



AH WIP E/B


Jess - This story just keeps getting better and better. My heart is all sorts of twisty turny with each update, but gah... go read! So freaking good.

Emmy - I really think I need to go get my arse in gear! I haven’t read this yet... And I REALLY want to. The girls keep raving about it.. **Scurries off to read**

Laura - I was so sad to see this story complete over the weekend because I wanted MORE! I think the sign of a great story is one that leaves you satisfied with the ending but still wanting more of the characters. This is a steamy, funny, quick read, I hope you check it out!

Nicoconsd - Being new to a school never seemed so fun before. I was so sad to see it end cause I wasn’t ready to leave the fun behind.



Transformers, O/S, Optimus Prime/Ratchet


Chele -I cannot get enough of these battle-weary soldiers finding comfort in each other’s arms. The characterizations are amazing, and the passion that overcomes rigid control is just so... unf!



AH, WIP, E/B


Nicoconsd - I’m totally addicted to drabble fics and this hooked me right from the start. Bella propositions Edward the popular boy to show her all about sex, High School never seemed so fun. :)

Emmy - See, I was starting to get a wee bitty naffed off with drabble fics (esp the ones that update 17 gazillionity times a day - hello! Just gimme one proper chapter please!!!). BUT. This fic is not annoying in the slightest!!!! Huzzah. Its cute, sexy (with a cute, rarrrr, and adorable Edward). And each update’s a delight to get. I really like Bella’s narrative. She is interesting and we can feel the heady mix of emotions that Edward is stirring inside her, and the fears and anxiety this is triggering.



AU, WIP, E/B, OOC


Nicoconsd - This story with its twists, turns and surprises at every corner keeps you on your toes. It's a slow build to the lemons but Edward's dominant take charge personality makes it all worth the wait. I just can't seem to get enough of this story.



O/S, Slash, Jasper/Riley


Chele - So glad I dug this out of my alerts and made it a reading priority this week. SadTomato’s talents for making the kinky seem warm and inviting are no less wow-ing here. I could practically feel Riley’s agony as the night wore on. Intense and so much fun!

Emmy - I’ve raved over this fic already in the LR. But I will say it again! Unfffffffffff. More please! & thank you! :)

Jess - Like Emmy, I loved this and raved about it as well. It was SO freaking good... seriously, you will be on the edge. NEGL.



AH, B/E, OOC, WIP


Laura - The plot of this story loosely resembles the movie, “The Proposal” but TheSaintsMistress puts her own spin on it and it feels fresh.This story is funny and smart and I love watching Edward & Bella’s relationship evolve from enemies to tentative allies to more. Please give this story a chance, you won’t be sorry!

Emmy- Well this is quite the recc! Deffo going on my tbr list now!!



AU, O/S, Emmett/Felix, Slash


Jeanne - FINALLY FELIX SMUT!!!! This sexy, sweet one shot fits perfectly into canon. I can totally see it happening, which makes the smutty turn of events that much hotter. We see the story from Felix’s pov which is awesome, but also it allows us to see Emmett in a different light. We also see how his light, affectionate nature wins over the darker, pragmatic Volturi guard. GAH! I could read about these two forever. UNF!

Jess - So I can finally say I told Jeanne about something first. Sure, she would have found this bad boy... or should I say these bad boys, but yeah... I’m taking credit for introducing the Felix/Emmett rough housing, smokin’ hot lovin’. Good grief, this was... just read it. My words will seriously not do it justice. So good.

Jen - Unggggg. The two big guys. Yessssss.

Chele - This blew my pants completely off. It’s like I’ve been waiting for it forever and now that it’s here I just want to roll around with it. Love.



AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - Bella’s acceptance of Edward’s past really surprised me because the Bella we’ve seen thus far seemed... sort of innocent or naive. Lucky for us, Edward had just the right key to unlock her passion. Sweet and unf-y!



AU O/S E/J Slash Feminization Kink


Jess - So, I’ll be honest, this particular kink - feminization - rarely does anything for me, but for whatever reason I clicked it open and decided to give it a read. Wow. I loved how Miss Dare made Edward much bolder and more assertive than we often see in canon, and more importantly the little twist at the end. Just... wow.



AH, O/S, E/J, Slash, Auto-erotic Asphyxiation


Jen - I read this expecting to feel uncomfortable with the breath play this fic describes. It was a little nerve-wracking, a LOT hot, but what stays with me is the emotional development of Edward and Jasper’s relationship.

Emmy - I completely agree with Jen. Brilliantly done. Moving and sexy. Wow!



AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - I have a few words: Hallelujah! Finally! Unf!

Emmy- I echo Jen. Yay! Fin-al-lllllly! Love this.



AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - I’m not even sure how many WIPs LyricalKris is juggling right now. I do know that I adore this Edward and just want to bundle him up so I can hug and love on him. He’s had to work hard for his happiness, and now he’s finally got Bella back in his arms. HOT! HOT! HOT kitchen sex. That is all.



AH, WIP, E/B


Teal - Oh damn. Desperate, excited celebration sex. These characters have been in a thick mess for a while now, but they sure do know how to make lemons! Kitchen sex FTW!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Lemon Report - Breaking Dawn Special Edition 11/21/2011




In honor of Breaking Dawn and the long awaited cherry pop, The Pervs and their special guest, Nico, wanted to share some of their favorite Alternate Universe Vampfic. Full of steamy smut and amazeballs sexy times, this is definitely a feature you won’t want to miss. Don’t forget to leave us a comment with your fave fics!





AU Alt BD, Complete, E/B
Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list...


Emmy -This was one of the first and is (imho) one of the best sexy vamp fics! Its an Alternative to BD. I still remember the tingly, yummy shock I got when I read about the kind of stuff I had been dreaming Edward would do in the Saga, finally. This is one of those fics that fanfic was created for. No sex in the books? Dinnae fret! Its choc-a-block here in The List! Huzzah! Sexy, saucy, debauched and let loose! Vampire sex ftmfw!


AU, O/S, Seth/Jasper, Slash
Written for sweetp-1 in the Yuletwi'd gift slashfic exchange. Summary: A brokenhearted shifter, a vampire doing everyone else a favor, one night of camping under the stars.


Jeanne - I am not going to lie to you, this is gonna a hurt...a lot! We all know that Seth had a crush on Ed, that shit is practically canon. Well in this beautiful one shot it is fact, but unfortunately Edward doesn’t return the feelings. It is Jasper that takes on the task of helping Seth and the ensuing sexy times will melt your heart, as well as your pants. UNF forever!


AU, O/S Humour, E/B
An exercise in clich├ęs. Bella wants sex, Edward is a prude. Emmett and Jasper give him some brotherly advice. I suck at summaries. E/B. Warnings for smut and swearing.


Emmy - This fic has its tongue FIRMLY in cheek! Its from a fic cliche competition. So all the cliches are here.

Therefore its GREAT fun! A VERY repressed Edward battles to not consume Bella. A swaggering Jasper tries to show him the error of his ways (not a slash fic!). Its just great fun. Bella is stupid and pushing to be fucked. Edward is very much a product of his Edwardian childhood. Sex is all things bad and wrong to him. Once he gets his first erection, things begin to change!


AU, O/S SLASH, Edward/Alec
I came here out of a desperate need for something different. I expected to feel out of place. I didn't expect to be skipping through the darkened streets of Volterra with a 1500 year old vampire who looked—and acted—like he was fifteen.


Emmy - Edward and Alec work! Perhaps because they were both changed so young and yet both have seen so much, have lived so much. Perhaps because both have special talents involving the minds of others. Who knows why, but they do! This fic shows a different path for Edward and a different future for Edward and Alec both. Tender, sweet and sexy yum. Slashy vamp sex ftmfw!


AU, WIP, E/B
'My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us. I can live only wholly with you or not at all.' Newborn vampire Bella stumbles through the centuries to unlock what has happened to Edward.


Emmy - This is a very different kind of vampire story. These are not the vampires of the Twilight Saga (apart from names and hints of characterisations). Edward and Bella give in to one another and Edward changes Bella before disaster sets in and the lovers are parted. Set in different times and places, Edward and Bella spend many years and continents apart. A very different style of writing. But very beautifully done. I love how these two souls are lost and roam and hunger for the other.


AU, Complete, B/Jacob
You know how Edward offered to let Bella and Jacob make puppies? And we all secretly wondered how that would go? Yeah. It's one of those. J/B. Set post-Eclipse.


Jess - When the girls originally proposed this idea, I was all sorts of conflicted. I mean, read the summary! Exactly. But good grief, watching the way the story unfolded, the conflict and tension, the way they give in, the way Bella chooses... it’s so full of hurt and sadness... and eventually love. So, so, good!


AU, Complete, E/B
Set in the 6 week 'blank period' at the end of Eclipse/beginning of Breaking Dawn, between the newborn battle, and the wedding. Bella and Edward expand and deepen their physical relationship in preparation for their impending marriage.


Emmy - Mmmmmmh Bella and Edward decide they need to work on being **together** so that Edward doesn’t lose the plot come their post nuptial consummating... What ensues is a very delicious fic as Edward tests his boundaries and both him and Bella get heaps of pleasure!!! Hot springs, sexting, touching, self-pleasuring, these two run the gauntlet! YUM! Practicing vamp/human fics ftmfw!


by lts29
AU, Complete, Edward/Leah
Edward/Leah AU, no Bella. One despondent vampire meets one temperamental werewolf.


Jen - Leah. Edward. Sex in the woods. Need I say more?

Jeanne - This fic went a long way to scratching the itch I had after finishing Breaking Dawn. Not only did I get a HEA for Leah, but it's with Edward. UNF! I love the conflict and sexiness, not to mention the banter. UNF!


AU, Novella Complete, E/B
For True Edward Fans. A look at the first night on Isle Esme through Edward's eyes. RATED M FOR ELOQUENT, EDWARDIAN LEMONS. CANON. EPOV.


Emmy - Well. If you are sick of the infamous fade to black, and really want an Edward POV of what we never quite see or hear about on Isle Esme? This is the fic for you. Very well written, and very much deep in the psyche and very much in Edwards tongue (I meant speech you dirty slags!). This is beautifully intense. Very romantic, sensuous and intellectual. You really do feel as if Edward is giving his version of events! Honeymoon vamp sexing as experienced by Edward ftmfw!


AU, J/B, Complete
Bella struggles to survive on her own after Edward leaves her. A chance encounter with Jasper will alter life for both of them. BxJ. Rated M for language, adult situations, and eventual lemons.


Nicoconsd -I love the unique way by heavyinfinity has taken the characters put on her own twist and made me fall in love with them even more. Jasper is sexy and sweet, Bella strong but caring and she even throws in a few awesome unexpected surprises. :)


AU, Complete, Bella/Jacob
After the wedding, Bella remained human and realized how much she would be giving up. When she returns to Forks, she finds that Jacob Black is not the same boy that she knew. Can he learn to love her again before the Volturi threaten to pull them apart?


Jen - What if Bella decided she didn’t want to be turned? What if she realized she was meant to be with Jake? Every Waking Minute explores one way this scenario might have played out. There’s a natural two-steps-forward-one-step-back progression as Bella works to convince Jake of her love. There’s a long build-up before they get physical and the yearning is delicious.


AU, WIP, E/B
New Moon AU. Edward did more than just leave Bella in the woods five years ago. Time goes on as Bella struggles to make a new life without him. What happens when they are accidentally reunited? What was the real lie that Edward told? What will Bella do?


Teal - I simply cannot think about amazing AU fic without Irritable Grizzly Adams coming to the forefront of my mind. This story was one of the originals, and I can clearly recall my early days in the fandom when I first read this New Moon AU. The writing is simply stunning. Gorgeous. Deep. Poetic. The damage Edward did when he left Bella will simply rip your heart out, and their gut-wrenching journey back to one another will keep you breathless and captivated. The characters are complex. The story is incredibly unique. The entire experience is addictive. I will warn that the last few updates have been months apart, and it has been a while since the last one, but this is the single story I would wait 10 years for. It’s that good.


AU, O/S, Rose/Jacob, Fire&Ice
She admittedly loathed him. But secretly, desired something more. When a single instance grants them the opportunity to be in each others company, they find themselves in a tangle of fur and stone.


Jeanne -I love the push and pull of Rose and Jake’s relationship, especially in Breaking Dawn. Fur and Stone explores the possibility of something other than hate bringing these two together. These two are totally in character, snarky and at times a little silly. When things take a turn for the sexy it is INTENSE! Talk about Fire and Ice, these two embody all the is sexy and heartbreaking about a wolf/Vampire pairing.


AU, O/S, Emmett/Edward, Slash
Edward knows Emmett's little secret. Can he confront him?


Jeanne - A hunting trip takes an interesting turn. Oh holy GAH! This is Edward and Emmett in all their canon glory having sex. Hard, raw, vampire sex! UNF! If you’re a slash fan and have always wondered if these two could make a good match in canon? This is the fic for you.


AU Complete E/B
Eden Burning catches up w/ Edward & Bella after 4 years of marriage. What would have happened if Nessie was never & Bella stayed human? Would their love be enough to survive this dark journey or would their paradise burn to the ground? Dark, adult themes.


Jen - Not gonna lie, this is not a story for everyone; the category listing is Angst/Tragedy. But if you decide to brave the tears and heartbreak you’ll be rewarded with a rich and gorgeous read. It hurts so good.


AU, Complete, Edward/Jasper
Jasper is a war weary soldier burdened by the weight of eternity. Edward is an uncomplicated high school student content to hide his sexuality. Together can Jasper find something to live for and Edward discover some things are worth dying for?


Jen - I Wept Not is a positively gorgeous fic. Arcadian Maggie is an amazing writer; this fic is full of beautiful words and a fabulous interpretation of SM’s world.


Pre-canon, AU, O/S, Emmett/Rose, Emmett/OC (kinda), Slash, Human/Vamp sex
When Emmett and Rosalie take a break from the Cullens, they learn that there's more than one way to become immortal. AU pre-Twilight, rated M for the Love Lost contest with M/M slash and more.


Jeanne - I’m at a loss for how to properly describe this fic other than FUCKING FANTASTIC. If you love Emmett, you will fall in love with this fic. Here we see his compassion and endless capacity to love showcased in one of the most unique explorations of pre-canon events I have ever seen in Twilight fan fiction. Did I mention the sex scenes are insanely hot? Oh yeah, soooo fucking hot.


AU, E/B, Complete
Bella's blood was just too tempting to be ignored. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. Rated M-violence/Mature theme


Nicoconsd -There are so many awesome things about this fic it’s hard to pick just a few and I am always a sucker for a vamp fic from the male point of view. Edward’s mentally somewhat lost it and Bella is the key to his world in more ways then one, it’s a fun wild ride.


AU, Complete, Jake/Edward, Slash
Written for the Twilight Big Bang on lj. A rewrite of New Moon and Eclipse; Jacob is the one to rescue Edward in Volterra...and Bella is the one to bring the newborns to Forks.


Jeanne - A hard journey from darkness into light. When Jacob imprints on Edward, everything in their lives turns upside down. I love this story. I love how it showcase canon, even as it rewrites it. I love how Siavahda doesn’t take the easy way out with anything, especially Bella. Most of all I love how Jacob’s unshakable love for Edward transforms our favorite haunted soul, and makes him truly happy. This is the HEA I wish I could see on the big screen. *sad sigh*


AU, Complete, Edward/Seth
Seth is the new kid at Forks High. The last thing he expects to find there is Edward...and his very own love story. Top 20 finalist in the Black Balloon contest, now continued. AU/OOC. M for language and slash love.


Jen - As I gathered the titles I wanted to share in today’s post, I noticed that I like a healthy serving of angst with my AU, and there’s plenty of it in this lovely, short story. Edward and Seth fall in love gradually, but are torn apart in an instant. This all happens in the first chapter, and your heart will be heavy with sorrow for both men. So intensely emotional, with a beautiful expression of Edward and Seth’s love for one another.


AU, Complete, E/B
With just weeks to go before the wedding, Edward reveals a secret from his human life which leaves Bella shocked and wondering just how well she knows the man she is about to marry. This is very much an Edward and Bella love story.


Jess - When I first stumbled onto fanfiction, I was solely an AU reader. Bloodlines was one of the very first stories I read, and even now, the way Windchymes crafted the story - taking something that seemed so unlikely and making me believe it could have happened - still leaves me in awe. In truth, everything she writes is amazing (she just completed The Decision and has just started a new one, The Keepsake), and this one is just the tip of the AU iceberg.


Pre-canon, AU, O/S, Jasper/Chelsea
Chelsea's gift lures an unwilling Jasper Whitlock to her side, but he's becoming more to her than a means to an end. PPSS blog said, "The chemistry between these 2 anti-heroes is mouthwatering & unforgettable... will leave you aching for more"


Jeanne - This is one of my all time favorite fics ever! 5 Nights Near the Battlefield at Laredo explores the possibilities of Pre-canon Jasper encountering the Volturi during the Southern Vampire wars. Chelsea is fascinating, Jasper is swoonworthy and when they come together (pun intended) you will be panting. I love this atmospheric peek at what could have been, and made me ship these two talented, driven vampires.


AU, WIP, B/C
Years after Edward left in New Moon, Bella has moved on with her life, now living in a small town. But when her path crosses someone from Forks, Bella must choose between the life she has made for herself and the one she is destined for. B/C


Jess - This was the first Bella/Carlisle story I ever started reading, and I am still itching like a mad woman for it to be completed. Seriously, this story has me all sorts of melty and achey, just waiting for Carlisle to succumb to his feelings for Bella. There are hard (not those... well, probably those, too) times coming... there’s no doubt about that, but sweet mercy, I need an update to this story like a thirsty woman needs water in the desert.


AU, Complete, E/B
After leaving Forks, Edward follows a path of weakness and isolation while eventually seeking redemption from the only person who can absolve him. Alternate Universe, B/E


Jen - When EZRocksAngel started posting Daedalus in Exile I wasn’t sure that I could love anything as much as I loved her Creature of Habit. I needn’t have worried; I love Daedalus in Exile. I love the way the mystery unfolds. Edward is full of self-loathing, but it isn’t just the usual over-thinking Edward. This Edward does have skeletons in his closet. His relationship with Bella is fascinating, as he struggles with his judgment of himself and his desire for her.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Pervy Picspiration Banner Challenge 11-17-11


The Pervs have teamed up with the ladies of TwiFicPics to create a special Pervy Picspiration challenge for all the talented graphic artists out there. We are asking for you to use the images from the latest group of Pervy Picspirations to make a banner for an as yet unwritten fan fic. That’s right, make the banner for a fic that doesn’t exist.

Below you will find a selection of Pervy Picspiration pictures we have chosen. Use a few and or all of these images to make a banner (you can use other images too, but you must use at least two of these picspiration images in the banner for it to qualify for the challenge).

Email your banner to contest@twificpics.com by Wednesday, November 23rd. The winning banner will be posted on The Perv Pack’s Smut Shack, next Saturday. This Challenge is ANONYMOUS so no pimping your banner for votes. Details are listed below the smutty pictures or if you have any questions feel free to email contest@twificpics.com.


Now without further ado Bring on the Pervy Picspiration!

Click here to download a zip file of high quality versions of all the images.







Details of the Pervy Picspiration: Banner Edition


How does it work? TwiFicPics hosts a weekly challenge for graphic artists to test and expand their skills. Every fourth challenge, The Perv Pack and TwiFicPics are teaming up to bring a special challenge – Pervy Picspiration: Banner Edition.
The Challenge: Artists will have six days to pick from four weeks of Pervy Picspiration pictures on PPSS to create a banner for the graphics challenge. Once artists are finished with the banner, they will email it to contest@twificpics.com. From there, the contest moderators will post it on TwiFicPics.com anonymously.

Once the time period for submissions closes, a public vote will be posted and the winning banner will be featured on The Perv Pack’s Smut Shack’s blog. What’s more, the artist’s can add their banners to a special forum so that authors can come in, check them out, and adopt them for their story if they wish.

Rules: Artists can only create one banner entry for the contest.

Challenge entries must be anonymous.

All posting will be handled by the contest moderators. Please email your entry to contest@twificpics.com, along with the penname you wish to display next to your banner when the artists are revealed.

This is supposed to be fun! So have some.

Important Dates:

  • Submissions Open: Friday, November 18
  • Banner Submissions Close: Wednesday, November 23
  • Voting Open: Thursday, November 24 at 5pm PST
  • Voting Closed: Friday, Friday 25 at 5pm PST
  • Winner Announced: Saturday, November 26

Where do I go? To check out previous challenges, head over to the challenges section of TwiFicPics

Why should I even do this? To have fun, and get a chance to improve your skills and practice new ones, we’d also like to give you some incentive for participation. If your banner wins, it will be featured on PPSS where it may catch the eye of a talented author who will write a fic for it. Also, every entrant will receive one point for entering. The first place banner winner will get five points, four for second place, and three for third. At the end of twelve weeks of TwiFicPics challenges, the top scorer will receive a prize.

What if I don’t win? Don’t give up. There’s always next time. We will be running this challenge regularly.

Who can I contact if I have questions? Feel free to contact contest@twificpics.com with any questions.