Thursday, May 31, 2012

Naughty Nurse 05/30/2012


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Hi Nursie! I have been reading your column, can't even remember, but I adore it. I'm in nursing school and hope to turn out as knowledgeable as you one day.

That being said, this isn't a totally sex-related question, but here goes. Recently I just started having (fabulous) sex with my boyfriend of almost a year, and it turns out that I bruise really, really easily. Now, I always have, and am Snow-Whitish in the skin department, but these finger-shaped sexy bruises (arms, legs, wherever) are very obvious and rather a nuisance. Is there a supplement I could take to lessen them? Or is there something else going on of why I could be bruising so easy? I'm not on any meds, and he's not using...excessive...force. ;) Thanks so much! You're the best!

Welcome to the Nursie Club. We’re awfully glad to have new members. :) Now, about your bruising. Nurse Kimpy suspects that you’re just one of those individuals who bruise easily. Bruises are the result of an injury that causes blood to leak out from your capillaries into the surrounding tissue. Typically, this is the result of a hard blow, but for some of us, we bruise so easily that we have no idea what even caused the injury. In general, women tend to bruise more easily than men. As you age, you become even more susceptible to bruising, because your skin starts to thin out and your capillary walls start to weaken. There are even certain substances, like aspirin and fish oil, that can increase your likelihood of bruising.

For most people, bruising is nothing more than a reminder that there was an injury to that particular skin surface. There are some rare individuals, however, for whom bruising easily can be a sign that something is awry with their blood chemistry. You could have a low platelet count, for example. Nurse Kimpy recommends that you follow up with your doctor--and no, you don’t have to explain exactly how you procure those finger-shaped bruises--to have a blood test just to be on the safe side. Good luck, and wear those bruises proudly.

Hi NNK. I don't have feeling inside my vagina. I can feel pressure if I press hard but I don't feel the touch. I even pressed with my fingernail and felt nothing. Do you have any idea why this could be? Thanks for all your advice. It's so helpful

You might be surprised to learn that the vagina doesn’t have many nerve endings. Most of those nerves are located toward the vaginal opening. As Nurse Kimpy has mentioned before, most women have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm. In fact, if you look at a 3D schematic of the lady bits, you will note that the image in yellow illustrates the nerve fibers of the clitoris. They circle around the opening of the vagina, in the vulva, and continue back to reach the anus. There are more nerve fibers in the tip of the clitoris than there are in the entire male penis. That’s why everything is so sensitive to touch between the clitoris and the anus. It could also explain why some women can orgasm from anal, but not vaginal, sex.

The important issue to figure out is whether or not you can achieve orgasms via clitoral stimulation. If you can, wonderful. While your vagina might not be full of nerves, your other bits appear to be working just as they should be. If you have issues with feeling in your clitoris and vulva in addition to your vagina, however, Nurse Kimpy urges you to consult with your gynecologist. They can help you determine the reason for this lack of feeling in all of your bits.

Some of my friends and I got talking and we could not come up an actual answer (if there is one out there) so I thought I would ask you. Why are some women screamers and others moaners?

Oh, you naughty girls. You take right after Naughty Nurse herself! You might be surprised to learn that there has been research on the subject of copulatory vocalization--otherwise known as sex noises. Apparently, most women make noise during sex, but not necessarily while they’re having the Big O. What the research shows is that women moan or scream to either stroke their partner’s ego (87% of respondents) or to speed their lover toward orgasm (66%). In other words, there are a lot of women who pull a Meg Ryan during sex.

Now, why do some women scream and some women moan? That isn’t as easily answered. Obviously, there are women who both scream and moan, and others who say nothing, along the spectrum of copulatory vocalization. Nurse Kimpy supposes that the type and amount of vocalizations during sex has more to do with temperament than anything else. Extroverts probably tend to be noisier than introverts, but that’s just a guess. Interestingly, humans aren’t the only females who vocalize during sex in the animal kingdom--female baboons do as well. Not only that, they tend to vocalize more loudly and for a longer period of time while they’re ovulating. It’s an evolutionary strategy for them to make them more attractive to males when they’re at the most fertile point of their cycle.

For those women who are pulling Meg Ryans during sex, Nurse Kimpy encourages you to be open and honest with your partner about just how much you’re enjoying what they do. While nearly every woman has faked an orgasm before, to do so on a regular basis tells your partner that they’re doing an incredible job of getting you off, when in actuality, it’s the exact opposite. Everyone deserves to have orgasms, and that includes you. If your partner isn’t getting you to the finish line, talk about it, don’t fake it. There’s nothing healthier than talking about sex and pleasure openly with your partner. It’s the best way to get what you both want.

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment. In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.
Acronym Guide AU - Alternate Universe AH - All Human WIP - Work in Progress O/S - One Shot OOC - Out of Character WP - Wussperv Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.

Twilight, Bella/Edward, AU, Complete

Corie- This story was just marked complete last week and in my opinion if you're a vamp lover and haven’t started reading this one its AMAZING. I loved the characters, the background the AU world she created. Intense, sexy and bloody what more could I ask from a vamp story.

Merlin, Modern AU, Merthur, Slash

Jen - I didn’t have a chance to check out There Are No Gays in Football when some of the Pervs recc’d it a while back. I started it yesterday and I think I broke the flail-o-meter. Everything about this story is perfect and amazing and wonderful. Sexy and so full of the feelings.

Harry Potter, Harry/Draco, Complete

Chele - Brilliant Post-Hogwarts fic. Pushdragon does a great job of keeping both Haoory and Draco in character, but giving the reader compelling illustrations of why they are compatible, and incendiary. The story is predicated upon Harry’s seeing Draco in a pub wearing glasses. The image is sexy, both to the reader, and to Harry, and this simple change effectively allows Draco to be viewed in a fresh way. Awesome, intense, and erotic. A great read, and perfectly paced two-chapter fic.

Merlin, Canon-era, AU, O/S, Slash, MERTHUR

Emmy - Wow! This was such an original take on the Merthur world and the legends of the once and future king and excalibur. A really earthy, feely fic, that grabbed me and kept me thinking for AGES about it. I am dying for a sequel. YOU CAN’T LEAVE IT THERE!!! The dynamics in this fic are so good. Arthur is a servant like Merlin, yet Merlin can still not be honest or open with Arthur about his magic. And the lemon is just gorgeous. Merlin is so innocent, and Arthur is so gagging for it. Gah. Perfect. Yeah, love this fic!

One Direction, RPF, Louis/Harry, Slash

Jen - LittleMousling’s fics are like potato chips. You cannot stop at one. I read one, and then I had to read them all. This one is simply adorable. Louis knows he’s gay, but has no one to experiment with. Enter Craigslist and lovely first times with Harry ensue. The ending made my heart all squishy.

Merlin, Modern, AU, Angst, Infidelity, SLASH (some het), Merthur

Emmy - Ouchy. This hurts. But is SO WELL DONE! I actually read this through more than once. Painful and prickly yet pretty and beautiful.

Twiliight, Bella/Edward, AH, Complete

Corie- Looking for a fun, super cute story? Then this is a must read for you. When Bella needs to find a new place to live, she answers the only semi normal ad she can find and in walks Edward into her life. They fall into an instant friendship and flirtation only problem is a fiance named Sam... I spent a morning with these characters and just had the best time reading this story. It is a complete story but the author has some outtakes planned and EPOV to look forward too!

by Various Anon’s
Merlin, Multiple Pairings, Slash and or Het, Some Underage

Emmy - This fest is just fabbio! With more fabby fics being added all the time. So ruddy good! I’ve only read the Merthur fics, so cannot vouch for the other pairings or het.

Jen - I am loving this fest. It’s got everything- some gorgeous art, fluffy happy adorable fics, fics with a touch of angst, and of course loads of smutty, smutty high school loving.

Chele - Love everything I’ve seen from this fest so far. I’m normally not a fan of high school fic, but these are so well done it’s like a breath of fresh air.

Twilight, WIP, E/B, AU

Nico - I love when I fall behind in a story, jump back in and right away I get rewarded with some lemony goodness. What I really like about this Edward and Bella is that the roles are kinda reversed and Edward is just so sweet and quiet I can’t decide if I want to eat him alive or snuggle forever. :)

Merlin, Canon-era, AU, O/S, Fluffy, Slash, MERTHUR

Emmy -Warm, cozy, romantic fluff, of the cozy under the bed-covers kind. Merlin has so many feelings for Arthur, and can never let him know. So instead he pours it out whilst he is asleep. 

Chele - Swoony and adorable.

Divergent, Tris/Four, O/S

Corie- I’m an uber fan of this series of books by Veronica Roth so it's only natural I went fic diving and boy and I’m glad I found this. Its perfectly canon FourPOV that could be a missing scene from the novels. SippingCoffee27 does a phenomal job at keeping the characters voice and staying true to who they are, all the while bringing us the intense sexual relationship between them that I was craving.

Merlin, Modern AU, Merthur, Slash

Jen - Oh my dog, the FEELINGS in this fic. A gorgeous exploration of emotional infidelity, with so so so much longing. And when our heroes are able to be together, finally? Oh, yes, please.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Slash Brigade Aberration 5/29/12

Photobucket      What Perv doesn't love sexy man on man action? The truth is so many of us Pervs love slash fic that we can't just be called a team. We're the whole damn brigade! Batten down the hatches, stock up on supplies 'cause the ladies of the Slash Brigade are here to rec some slash fic.

The Slash Brigade pick is...
Title: Aberration
Author: shoefreak37
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,664
Reviews: 265
Pairing: Carlisle/Edward
Summary: Distortion, deviation, wandering. For centuries, Carlisle held fast to the plan he was sure had been laid out for him by a force much more divine than himself. After he takes Edward for a companion, the direction of his path becomes skewed.

   Guest Perv Arcadian Maggie

 Arcadian Maggie

Jasper and Edward continue to be my OTP for TwiSlash, but Carlisle and Edward come in a close second. Their love and connection are tangible, leaving you to wonder how Carlisle ever ended up with Esme when he had Edward to himself all those years. shoefreak37’s Aberration answers that puzzling questions and fills in the missing gaps, proving the rich back story of Edward before the change, his and Carlisle’s early years together, the arrival of Esme, Edward’s rebellion, to his marriage to Bella. It’s a canon story, impeccably written and beautifully told.

The story opens on Edward’s wedding day, so we know from the start how it will end— not with Carlisle and Edward but with Edward and Bella. Nevertheless, even though you go in knowing it’s canon, knowing Edward’s going to somehow end up with Bella at the altar, you’re rooting for Carlisle and Edward the entire way through. They love each other SO MUCH.

Carlisle is, of course, constrained by his faith—always striving to do what’s right, his heart and body yearning for what his religion and upbringing tell him is sinful. His struggles are painful to watch, and the effect they have on Edward, who loves with a youthful ardor, is heartbreaking.

I can’t talk about this fic without talking about gorgeous writing. shoefreak37 is, in my opinion, one of the most talented writers in the fandom. Her descriptions are vivid and detailed. You see the story, and you’ll feel it. Her depiction of Edward’s change is the best I’ve ever read.
…he attempted to see himself in that tub full of ice, but that soon turned to boiling water, cooking Edward as he swore he could smell his flesh being boiled, scalded and cooked like the chicken he used to enjoy eating. And when he made one last attempt to focus on soothing thoughts, he saw himself pressing his face against the cool metal of the lamp post, only to find it hot as an iron, the over-heated metal sticking to his cheeks. Nothing helped.Absolutely nothing. So he screamed and screamed, his voice seeming to grow stronger with each exclamation, every curse.
Likewise, the passion is just as exquisitely drawn. Here, Carlisle is simply imagining kissing Edward:
The thought-Carlisle moved his sinful lips to Edward's ear. "How could I not want you?" he whispered, the heat of his words warming Edward's face even in imaginings. Then his mouth moved to Edward's, hesitating, lips open, brushing against Edward's trembling lips. Several moments he stayed there, until Edward took the initiative. The kiss Edward delivered in Carlisle's musings was profane and beautiful, shattering and completing. Carlisle returned it whole-heartedly, taking the younger man's lower lip between his. When Carlisle's tongue found its way into Edward's mouth, he heard a quartet of satisfied moans, echoing in his head and in his ears.
Aberration will move you. It will make your heart ache and it will make you bleed. You’ll think about it long after it’s over. This is the Carlisle/Edward story I was always looking for. It remains for me, a “must read” and one of the best stories in the Twilight fandom.


I kind of like to think that this review belongs to both The Slash Brigade and Team Angst. Aberration will rip your heart out and dance on it all while making you see that Carlisle & Edward should be the OTP of Twilight slash.

If you’ve never read any of shoefreak37’s work, you’re in for a real treat. Her writing is amazing. In this story in particular, the characterizations and plot are so very canon. It makes the hurt and the longing just come alive.

When I read the prologue when it was first posted, all I could think was, this is gonna hurt. Re-reading the prologue today, I think that it could stand on its own as a super angsty oneshot. Luckily for us, shoefreak37 didn’t stop there. We see Edward's change and acclimatization to his new existence and talent. We hear Carlisle struggle with his feelings for Edward as they change from that of a father figure or mentor to those of someone yearning for a mate.

Carlisle not only denies himself the chance to share his feelings with Edward, he tries with all his might to not even <i>think</i> of Edward in a romantic or sexual way. He's so very canon Carlisle here, with the religious lessons his father taught him forever seared on his soul.  As Carlisle tries to suppress his feelings the UST goes up and up and up.

Dear God, please, let him come closer. Please, forgive me, but please, bring him closer, Carlisle thought, lips parted as the heat within him tried to escape, his breath coming out in hot, sharp pants. 
Edward's tongue sneaked out from his pink mouth, and in an innocent way that was immensely sinful, he moved it across his lips, leaving them moist as flower petals on a spring morning. Carlisle groaned and tightly shut his eyes. 
"I don't know if God is listening," Edward said, "but I am." 
Then Edward pressed his wicked lips against Carlisle's.

Edward goes from being curious about the hints of Carlisle's thoughts to realizing that he does not want Carlisle to be a father figure. He reads the Bible to try to figure out what Carlisle's objection to loving Edward is. They have some amazing, heart wrenching, frustrating talks, where Edward does his damnedest to convince Carlisle; I know I wanted to, regularly.

Aberration is exquisitely painful, which is just how angst should be. It's not manufactured angst--the story is completely plausible as pre-Twilight canon. Carlisle and Edward's desire for one another is intense and palpable--I can't imagine not physically aching while you read this. This is not a chock-full of lemons kind of story. The rare intimate moments that Carlisle and Edward do share are made all the more delicious because of the way the intensity of their feelings for one another are pitted against Carlisle's belief that to love Edward would be morally wrong.

I could go on and on as there's no end to the feelings I have for Aberration. This is not a WussPerv safe kind of slash story, but I urge you to give it a chance. shoefreak37 has a way with words, and it would be a shame to miss out on them.

No matter how fond the fandom is of Edward/Jasper fics, Carlisle and Edward will always be the original slash pairing to me (other than Jasper/Peter of course!). It's canon, ya'll!
I must admit, even amongst all the heart-achy moments, there is so much sweetness in the way these men regard one another...especially when Edward calms and really sees Carlisle (or should I says hears).
The man he followed was good; his thoughts screamed sincerity and steadfast belief in the things he told Edward. It was because of the purity of his thoughts that Edward trusted him; well, trusted him as much as a newborn vampire can trust anyone.
This is so succinct. Throughout the books, Edward always had a sort of hero-worship respect for Carlisle. He wanted to emulate him, but even early in this story we see pieces of the self-doubt and loathing Edward is so famous for. It creates such an engaging dynamic as he develops romantic feelings for his sire and as Carlisle responds to him.

The way it all unfolds is really quite brilliant with a natural development that truly feels like it could be slipped into the unwritten background years after Edward's change and the years they spent together. Even Edward's reactions and understanding of Bella later on fits so perfectly. He loves her, truly, and he knows she is what he needs, though a piece of his heart belongs to Carlisle and always will. He grows to understand her connection to Jacob and doesn't resent her for loving him; they are the same that way.

I adore this story because it is a wonderful and beautifully written AU, and it gives us a taste of could-have-been canon with characters we love.

This is not slash for the sake of smut, but a story of trust, friendship, love, and how the heart reacts when we cannot have what we desire. An absolute gem.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Pervy Picsperations 05/25/2012


Emmy wants your words. (amongst other things...) Every week Emmy will post a pic or 2 - containing phwoarrrr-worthy blokes from across the seas, some hunks from closer to home and sometimes some dangerously delish knickers and lingerie. What do we want from you in return? Well...... We want you to be inspired by these pics and to leave Emmy a delish drabble or longer story, or even a new chapter of an existing WIP, inspired by the pic(s). Remember it can be from ANY fandom you wish...

Leave a link to your story offering in the comments section and post it to your FF or LJ, AO3 or other host account (pm the link to Emmy at or ememmyem on LJ or AO3 ) and make sure you mention the PPSS and that it was inspired by a Pervy Picspiration, by the following Thursday morning. (If you need more time, please don’t hesitate in still sending it to Emmy when you are done! We will still read and feature it!)

Each Friday Emmy will reveal her faves and at the same time post the next pervy picspiration for your pleasure. Non-Canon writers don’t despair - Emmy might be tragically WussPerv©, but there are plenty of equal opportunity pervs in the pack longing to read those if Emmy turp’s out.

Emmy is DYING to see what dirty delights you are going to come up with...

*Please make sure your story offering is in line with our mission statement

IMPORTANT NEWS! We’ve changed the Pervy Picspirations Submission Times for YOU! You now get TWO WEEKS to get inspired and get pervy and write for me! So there really is no excuse not to..... (next week we will give you an additional pervy treat or two to keep you inspired, or inspire you anew) So do look back next Friday, for some more porn visual inspiration or Pervy Picspirations for you! And in two weeks there will be a brand new challenge and hopefully some smutty stories...

I am so pleased to say that bluedragoninamber has returned with a fab new update to her darkly delish slashy vampy story Descent. She took my prompt of a few weeks ago of stockings and did something quite special with it! The other good news is that bluedragoninamber is now over on AO3. So anyone and everyone can read her story, you don’t need to be a member, only if you want to leave a signed-in comment, otherwise you can be anon. So DO go check her great story out and give her some love. I can’t wait for more. We will hopefully get more based on future prompts....

Did you drink them up?

PhotobucketOur joint contest with TwiFicPics each month to create pervtastic banners is going from strength to strength! Read more about it here Pervy Banner TwiFicPics Competition. Make sure you go look and ADOPT HERE! There are AMAZING entries yet again. The last fabbio winner was:

Please do remember to go show:
Some love! These writers bust a gut to give us pretty words, they need our encouragement and love!

What will it take to get you writing for me? …...

So this week? We’ve had a heatwave over here in Blighty this week, so its about cooling down after being really hot and bothered. Or about heating up... Its about washing off the filth and getting ready to be dirty... Or perhaps its cleaning up after being filthy? Maybe its time to play with another? What do these sexy shower pics do for you? What fandom do you want to write for? Really it is all about sexy pictures to get your writing sexy scenes... SO remember ANYTHING in the pics can inspire you to write for me. Go on... Do they do anything for you? What do the pics make you feel? Write it! It is whatever you wish! As always it is your call! Completely up to you....

What fandom do you prefer to read or write? Twilight? Merlin? Harry Potter? Spartacus? Game of Thrones? The Eagle? Hunger Games? Transformers? DC Comics? GOT? Sherlock? Inception? TSN? Or one I haven’t mentioned? NO matter the fandom, we want you to write it, and we WILL read it! We love all fandoms, and especially love discovering new fandoms....

Remember you can take the prompt anyway and get writing - any character or fandom! Or you can be inspired in ANY way by the pics and write something tasty - it doesn’t matter! Just write me something.

Whatever the pics below do to you - write it... No matter what smutty delights they unlock.
SO what do these pics do for you, do to you? Just go for it and WRITE anything for ANY FANDOM and any pairing that the pics or prompt inspires..!

Write me anything - be it Slash, FemmeSlash, AU or AH, canon or even OOC... AND remember for any fandom... Perhaps one of the pics inspires you to write a new chapter in a work-in-progress, or try something new. Be it a drabble, be it a one-shot or be it a WIP, just write for me. Make it sexy, make it sweet and tender, make it sensuous, erotic or downright naughty. Your call. Just let the inspiration take you - be you a BNA or an innocent virgin, wanting your Pervy Picspiration cherry popped for fun. Write whatever the pics inspire in you.....

I’m waiting.........

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 5/24/12


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Well, dear readers, believe it or not, but Naughty Nurse Kimpy is not the only woman on the internet who loves menstrual cups. Don’t believe her? Read on, lovelies, and you’ll find that there are some pretty excited menstrual cup users who are willing to share their experiences and wisdom with you, so you don’t need to just take Kimpy’s word for it anymore!

My favorite thing about the menstrual cup, (I'm also a Diva user) is that since they are non-drying and not associated with Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), you don't have to wait ‘till your period actually begins to put it in. You can put it in a day or so before you expect it to start and just check and rinse it morning and night till it does; that way you never ruin underwear or sheets or get caught unprepared. Also helpful for those with abnormally heavy periods, is the fact that (at least on Diva) there are ounce measure markers on the side, so you can accurately track how much you're flowing per day, which may make your doctor take things more seriously. They can be a little intimidating at first, but once you get over the learning curve they are AMAZING! This community has the most comprehensive information on every type of cup and advise for any problems you might have with them. Menstrual Cups.

Menstrual cups are absolutely WIN! I use the Diva Cup and I also own a smaller Meluna cup that I keep in my purse in case my period starts when I'm out and about. I highly recommend every single woman reading this try them - I wish I'd discovered them sooner. They are the most comfortable and dependable thing I've ever used. I too found tampons painful, and pads were a pain. I've never had an issue with my menstrual cup, though I will say it does take a couple of cycles to really get the hang of it.

This is less a question and more a comment - I'm a bit squeamish and resisted the Diva Cup and its brethren for years. Then a couple months ago, a reader on Dan Savage's advice column suggested the Instead SoftCup. It's sold in grocery stores/drugstores and is sort of like a DivaCup, except you dispose of it at the end of each cycle, and ... wait for it ... YOU CAN HAVE NO-MESS PERIOD SEX WITH IT IN! No post-coital homicide crime-scenes to clean up. It was finally enough to convince me. I tried it and it changed my life. Yes, it's more expensive than the DivaCup over time, but it's less up-front expense, less intimidating for people like me who were scared of menstrual cups, and there's no boiling/sanitizing/storing between cycles. And did I mention no-mess period sex???

See, Nurse Kimpy is not alone in pointing out the many things that are WIN with menstrual cups. But when her ideological hero Dan Savage includes it in his advice column, you know it has to be something supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. Just saying.

A tip for the painful periods lady: Evening Primrose Oil. This is an inexpensive supplement available at Target, Walmart, GNC, etc. It comes in capsules and looks very similar to vitamin E. It works wonders. Helps with PMS, cramps, bloating...basically all the icky period side effects. Take it everyday and hopefully you'll see results within a month.

Thank you so much for that tip, Nurse Kimpy hadn’t heard of Evening Primrose Oil for painful periods. What a great suggestion!

Several weeks ago, there was a question about Lady-Comp, and Nurse Kimpy asked the inquirer for clarification. While the inquirer didn’t respond, a wonderful reader did, and I could hardly improve upon her research. For that reason, I’ve included her answer in its entirety--yes, it’s that thorough and well-researched. Don’t believe it? Read on, dear reader, read on:

Just in case the original poster doesn't resubmit her question: Lady-Comp is a fertility monitor that provides information on fertility based exclusively on monitoring basal body temperature (rather than cervical mucus etc.).

I tried to find some info on failure rates (I assume that's what the asker is interested in), but reliable information is actually pretty hard to find. According to one study, the probability of an unintended pregnancy after a year of use was about 5.3%, i.e., out of 100 women who rely on Ladycomp for one year, 5.3 will become pregnant according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) (more on this study can be found here). The thing to consider about Ladycomp from the asker's perspective is that you cannot just whip it out for the times you don't feel like using a condom, because you have to monitor your basal body temperature daily (temperature taken orally immediately after waking up while still lying down) for the method to work reliably.

Basal Body Thermometers (BBTs) monitors in general have good false negative rates: 1.7% to 4.7% days falsely declared infertile while the woman is, in fact, fertile, which is much, much, MUCH better than the false negative rates of salivary and hormonal monitors (just in case anybody is considering those). Btw, false positive rates (days declared fertile when the woman is infertile) are very high, e.g., 53.9% for a different BBT monitor. This presents no pregnancy risk, but certainly affects the frequency of sex (or rather the frequency of needing to use other methods of contraception). (Research source can be found here)

Thank you for your dedication in finding such a detailed response. Your altruism and intelligence are plain to see, and both are much appreciated by Naughty Nurse Kimpy.

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment. In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.
Acronym Guide AU - Alternate Universe AH - All Human WIP - Work in Progress O/S - One Shot OOC - Out of Character WP - Wussperv Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.

Twilight, WIP, E/B, AH

Nico -Bella is hairdresser, Edward is a walk in who has been traumatized by a hair cut in the past, what starts out innocent turns into more. Don’t let this over 200 chapters frighten you away. The chapters are drabbles and you fly right through them. Edward is adorably sexy and way over his head, Bella is young but not too young and knows how to push all of Edward’s buttons in the best of ways. :)

by Anon
Merlin, AH, AU, Complete, Tissue Alert, Slash, Merlin/Arthur

Posy - This tragically beautiful story was begun last year and just finished up a few days after mother’s day. Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. It is based on a novel by Irish writer Jamie O’Neill of the same name. Set at the beginning of a political uprising, this Anon writer was able to captivate me and embrace me into the tender friendship and love that Merlin and Arthur share.

Harry Potter, Harry/Draco, Mpreg

Chele - Perhaps this theme has been done like crazy, but this is my first Veela fic, and now that I’ve read Draco as a veela, I may never be able to separate that from my headcanon. Harry is working as a nurse in St. Mungo’s when he forges an unbreakable bond with a desperately ill patient. A little heart achy, a lot swoony, and a bit of sexy hotness.

Merlin, Modern AH, Flangst, Mentions of trauma, O/S, SLASH, Merthur

Emmy - This fic is so beautifully written. Merlin’s last relationship was not a good one. Thankfully he’s with Arthur now. But Merlin’s past has put a huge intimacy barrier between the two of them. Arthur never pushes or badgers, but a few months on Merlin is slowly ready to take a step or two forward. A beautiful gentle lemon full of love and trust.

Twilight, AH, Complete, E/B

Teal - I’m a little behind on my updates, but this little fic is now complete, and oh how sweet it is. It’s kind of my dream-come-true fic... Edward and Bella meet in St. Croix and live the island/beach lifestyle together. It’s now complete, and the ooey gooey ending will rot your teeth and have your smiling like crazy. Even better, Ro has another story going from her Fictionista Workshop prompts, so I’m moving right along to that one. I hope you will too! Emmy - I love Rochelle Allison’s writing SO much but am yet to start her new stuff. I MUST find time to do so soon.. Gah, sounds so good. Corie- I adore this one. The scenery and St. Croix is like a 3rd character in the relationship and gives this story such life.

Merlin, Canon era AU, MAGIC, Druid!Merlin! (YAY!), O/S, SLASH, Merthur

Emmy - I cannot tell you HOW excited I get when I find new Druid!Merlin! fics!!! SO excited! This is a really good fic, slight elements of non/dub-con, but not really. Really good. Arthur and Emrys have very different views on what their destiny means. Emrys is adorable and complex, and Arthur is lovely and noble. Please gimme more Druid!King!Merlin! fics please! :)

Twilight, AH, WIP, E/B

Emmy - I just adore Edward in this fic. He’s so engaging and complex. And Bella? What a mystery. Plus I love the use of Leah and her characterisation.... I am way behind on updates so only caught this update this week. But finally finally finally for Edward. Just a tiny wee taste. Will it be enough????

Avengers/Marvel, Darcy/Clint(Hawkeye)

Chele - Darcy tries to come to terms with wanting more than just amazing sex with Clint. Clint tries to find a way to be different than he is, to be able to give more than he can. Amazing sex ensues, and maybe a little sadz.

RPF - Merlin Cast, AH, O/S, Angsty, SLASH, Brolin/Codley

Emmy - RPF warning! After the yummy fest of footie tottie on Sunday, aka Soccer Six, I went on a Brolin fic search and found this one I had missed. An interesting and lovely fic. Bradley and Colin act on the tension between them when drunk, but it doesn’t go to plan. The sex was supposed to have been good? Will they give it another go? A bit angstier than it sounds. Very nicely done.

Twilight, E/B, Complete

Corie- This story was a breath of fresh air. Imagine a hot sweaty rock climbing Edward who takes a Gumby Bella under his wing. I can’t tell you the amount of fun I had reading this, humor, sexual tension it's all there. This story is complete and such a great read.

Merlin, Modern AU, Novella-Complete, Angsty, SLASH, Merthur

Emmy - I’m still a WussPerv. But I do like a good angsty break up fic, AS LONG AS its ends up HEA. Yes I am a bit daft. This fic is really good though. Merlin is sweet, and kind and a wee bitty lost. Whereas Arthur is maybe actually even more lost. He just doesn’t realise it as first.... A great fic about finding yourself and what you’ve lost.

Twilight, E/B, WP

Corie- Each and every chapter of this story makes me happy. It’s unique, sweet, and sexy. I can’t say enough how much I love this Edward.