Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Talk Nerdy To Me: Boys in Glasses picspam


A periodic taste of geeky goodness from our resident GeekPerv©, Trin.


It’s been a while since we’ve done a little shameless ogling. While I wait for the story I want to rec next to get a wee bit smuttier here is a little something to get your hearts pitter-pattering.

Always remember...



This would make anyone smile.

What is going on back there you two?


Aww you guys, I think he needs a neck rub.

Glasses, a vest with a tie and a book. Yes, please.


Really, Sir STOPPPPP IT!


Oh those lips...and chest!


As if glasses sexy weren't enough add a guitar and a cardigan and you have a lethal combo.



And on this note...who wants to snuggle? XOXO

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Lemon Report 8/30/11

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The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.




Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.





Harry Potter AU, O/S, Cedric/Hermione


Teal - While I haven’t delved into much HP fic, I was quickly drawn into Book of Misremembrances, a post-DH AU story involving Hermione and Cedric. Though too much to explain here and now, this particular outtake is quite simple: After a school year of dating, Cedric joins Hermione’s family on a summer camping trip. It only takes a small charm to shield her parents from any sounds they may make, and a long awaited exploration begins. They don’t rush into anything too dramatic, but what they share is hot and steamy, opening doors to many more things they can do together. Yum!

Jeanne - Cedric...*nostalgic sigh* I’m an unabashed Cedric fangirl and shipper of Cedric/Hermione. Book of Misremembrances is like a special gift written just for me. While it’s a great story, I’m a whore and I’ve been wanting some smutty fun times between these two from the beginning. This outtake fits perfectly into the story, but it can also be read as a stand alone. After all, magic or no, two horny teenagers camping is rather universal. What’s awesome about this story is Cedric’s hilarious and earnest inner monologue. You can see that this ‘good guy’ is trying his best to do the right thing with the girl he loves, even though his body is fighting him every inch of the way. Though, to be honest, my favorite part (other than the phenomenal dry hump) is seeing how much clearly Cedric sees Hermione and how intensely he loves her for who she is. This story has me swooning while my pants explode. UNF!

Chele - Thank you to my awesome pervs for taking my Cedric virginity. What a beautiful, sexy, perfectly sweet way to make me fall in love with this boy. Loved this so much.





AH WIP E/B


Jess - This story will mess with your mind. It’s incredibly deep, extremely well written, and extraordinarily well written. The sex in this story borders on abusive - Bella to Edward - and is most definitely manipulative and dark. There are so many questions in my mind about what happened to bring Bella to this point, to make her like this. I look forward to more as we go!

Teal - This fic is twisted and dirty, and I can’t help but be fascinated. While the plot lingers in the shadows and dark alleys, you’ll be captivated and want to follow Bella into the darkest corners of her mind. This simply can’t tend well, but lordy is it hot stuff along the way!





Harry Potter, AU, Threesome, Harry/Ron/Hermione


Jeanne - I love threesomes. I love the symmetry and balance, not to mention all the potential for sexual acrobatics. This short, but steamy little one shot doesn’t fuck around. It gets right to business and gets you happy in your pants. Harry is shy and a little awkward. Hermione is confidant and a little bossy, but that’s one of the things I like about her and the boys seems to love it too. Then there’s Ron...GOOD GOD, do a love a well written Ron. While this story is short, the subtle characterizations are potent. Ron taking off his jumper had me panting. So by the time the three of them got down to business I was ready to hump the arm of my couch.





AU, O/S, Bella/Paul


Chele - I am the luckiest whore in the world, because MeraNaamJoker made me a fuckhot birthday present in the form of some adorable, swoon-worthy Bella/Paul smut. First look at this, then go read. Swoon and Unf.

Jen - I love when someone else’s birthday results in a present for everyone, even more so when the birthday girl is one of the Pervs and the gift is an outtake from one of my very favorite fics. I will never stop loving MQSTB Paul. Bella’s an adorable drunk, and Paul takes care of his wife in his usual sexy style. Unf!

Teal - First of all, you need to see the gif that goes along with this. Holy shit. I am overwhelmed by the extreme hotness in such a small amount of words, and it’s always amazing to see my favorite Bella & Paul at it again!





Harry Potter Fic, Complete, Hermione/Snape, Warning:QuestionableCon


Chele -A beautiful tale of triumph, longing, and healing.
During the final battle at Hogwarts, Snape and Hermione are captured along with Remus, Tonks and Ron. Their captors, Lucious and Bellatrix are intent on forcing their captives to violate one another, but Hermione and Snape decide to claim their own fate and share themselves willingly instead. As a result, they open themselves up to a connection that is intense and undeniable.
I love the fantasy-feel of Deslea’s writing. The pacing of this story is perfect, giving each character the time and circumstance to accept and embrace fate and their their love for each other.





AH WIP E/B


Jess - There is something about this story that just makes me swoon and pant and all kinds of hot and bothered. This update was hot... like hot of epic proportions. Handjobs against the side of Bella’s Cherry?! Yeah... get on it!

Trin - This story is the perfect mix of hot and sexy with swoony eyes all at the same me. And YES! The handjob UNFITY!

Emmy - How the feckity am I not reading this?? I am now!!!





Transformers Fic, Complete, Optimus Prime/Starscream, Warnings:Contains references to Rape and offspring death


Chele - The warnings on this may seem a bit grave, but it is truly a story of healing and survival. Starscream’s ability to carry sparklings (baby transformers) forced him to endure untold horrors at the hands of his leaders in hopes of creating an new generation of soldiers. At the end of the war, there is one sparkling left - the one he carries inside him. The hope of bringing this new life into a world of peace puts him in the hands of Optimus Prime and the Autobots, who help him to heal and teach him that the creation of new life should be pleasurable.
Great writing, wicked smut, and plot abounds. Everything this mech-loving girl could ask for.





AH WIP E/B


Jess - Amishward does it!!!! LOL Seriously, though, this update was absolutely perfect! We watch these two finally take some very, very big steps into the Amish world, and the way it plays out was an absolute swoony delight!

Jen - I cannot even describe how sweet this was. So tender and sweet, and just right for this Edward and Bella.





AH WIP E/B


Jess - There is something powerful about love and grief. This chapter was full of some sad parts but so many other great parts that showcased just how amazing love, especially newly rekindled love, can be. This story is almost to the end... just on board and give it a read.

Emmy - I cannot believe that this is done... Gonna miss this heaps!





AU O/S Charlie/Carlisle


Jess - I’m almost at a loss for words when it comes to explaining how absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking this o/s is. Both Charlie and Carlisle are crippled by the deaths of Edward and Bella, and in the quest to bring comfort, to check in on an old friend, they find a single moment of reprieve from their grief. The moment they share is understated and not what I would call hot, by any means, but it just shows the powerful need that those suffering such a devastating loss feel. Absolutely beautiful.

Jen - I love sadtomato for posting this even though she was worried about how it would be received. Yeah, there are tears, but what happens between Charlie and Carlisle is so beautifully intimate and provides the smallest bit of healing for two dads who are hurting beyond compare.





AH, O/S, Esme/Seth


Jen - A few weeks ago Jeanne and Jess recc’d I Possessed My Lover in the Garden. If you didn’t get to read this gorgeous Esme/Seth then, you should make sure to check it out this week. As a bonus you get a crazy hot second chapter, where Seth positively worships Esme, written for dirtycheekymonkeys’ Squeeze My Lemon feature.

Jess - I’m so glad Jen mentioned there was an update to this, because I completely neglected to alert it. And holy hot mother this was just so gorgeous. Seth was all about giving... and worshipping... and loving. Just absolute sexy perfection.

Chele - This is such an awesome pairing. I love the dynamic between these two, and hot love in the grass? This fic is summertime hotness at its best.





AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - Edward in Words with Strangers is the master of the wank, especially since he hasn’t even met Bella in person, let alone not being on the same continent at the moment. Bella’s photograph sets him off faster than ever, complete with a hot fantasy.

Trin - Oh how I love this story let me count the ways. I just love the banter and sexiness and the wanking!! I love in a story where the two characters are getting to know one another through other means. It gives us such insight to them as people.

Emmy - Love this story. It is such fun! I cannot decide if I love Epov more. I *think* I do... I, like Trin, do love the wanky-wanking. Rarr fun!





AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - Bella likes it when Edward talks dirty. So do I. UNF.

Jess - I second what Jen said... and third and fourth it. That sexy hot lovin’ was absolutely divine. The entire scene, which I won’t spoil for you, from the request Edward made to the absolute end was just squirmy, panting good.

Emmy - I adore this fic. Adore. Great update. This Edward is priceless and perfect and just unf. And adorable!

Teal - Yes, I think we can all agree that Edward’s dirty talk, by request of sweet, drunk Bella is pretty awesome. So is car sex. *drools*





AH, WIP, E/B


Jen - Intermingled with sadness over a relative losing their battle with cancer, there are two people taking a chance, living for today. Edward and Bella’s connection may have started out as a physical one, but it’s so much more now. Luckily for us, it makes their physical relationship even hotter.

Jess - This story started out with a bang, literally, and has just grown in intensity with every passing update. Get your swoon on, ladies, even in the midst of sadness and loss. It’s absolutely beautiful.

Emmy - I love these two authors together! I had been waiting to read this as I was scared it was going to be angsty. These two write beautifully. You must read it!





AH, WIP, E/B


Teal - It has most certainly been an interesting journey with these two, watching them vacillate between love and hate, but now they’re in to the cutesy and hot stuff. I find it was well worth the wait!

Emmy - I have been obsessed with this witfit. I loved the split time narrative, their chemistry and how we saw it build. Love this Edward and his mix of fear, cocky, sexy and tender. Adorbs and yum!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Team Anything Goes: Disenchanted Lullaby by mjinaspen

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The Team Anything Goes Pick is...

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Title: Disenchanted Lullaby
Author: MJinAspen
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,922
Reviews: 146
Summary:AH. Rose's life was on the verge of absolute perfection – the ring, wedding bells, babies and lullabies. Then, one day, she learned Happily Ever After didn't really exist.

Jeanne - There is something about the pairing of Rose and Edward that immediately puts you on guard. For some people that’s a bad thing, and some people (like me) consider it a good thing. Either way, we can all agree that any relationship between Edward Cullen and Rosalie Hale is going to be...complicated.

Disenchancted Lullaby is no exception to this rule. Rosalie and Edward are both at their own crossroads in life when they meet. Their relationship is tentative, intense and very real. As we watch them get to know each other we can’t help but see how all the ways they are so suited for each other, as well as all the potential issues that could prevent them from having a HEA.

That is one of the things I LOVE about MJinAspen’s writing. I never feel like I’m reading a story. I feel like I’m watching real people, because they stumble, fall and fuck up just like all of us do. These incarnations of Edward and Rosalie are so beautiful flawed.

Edward is a mysterious and brooding figure when we first meet him. Our only impression, other than him sexily washing his car in a tank top, is that he is the younger brother of Carlisle. Oh and he is covered in tattoos. That’s right, ladies. This is a Tattward story, but interestingly enough Edward’s looks and ink aren’t what makes him one of the sexiest Edwards I have ever read. It is nothing as simple as looks. It’s Edward’s mind and his words that leave me moaning and writhing on the floor every time I read an update.

I want that for you. You're a strong, beautiful woman, and you deserve to rise above anything holding you down. I see it in you every new meeting we have, and I hear it in your voice when we talk.


While Edward is hot, complicated and awesome, if I’m honest Rose is hands down my favorite character in the story. Truth be told, she’s my favorite Rosalie ever. I love her because she is so very real. She is beautiful and yet she has issues with her body. They’re not huge issues (this isn’t a story about eating disorders), in fact the way that Rose picks on her self is VERY familiar.

"My thighs look enormous in these pants."


She also has a checkered past that strikes close to home. The beginning of this story finds Rose having a bit of a wake up call about her ex-fiance Royce King, though it’s not what you might think. The mistakes that Rose made with Royce is one that many women have made in their own dysfunctional relationships. Through the story Rose gets a chance to reflect on her past (featuring some familiar characters) and comes to understand how her own issues sabotaged many of her relationships.


Disenchancted Lullaby isn’t a simple love story. It’s about two very real people finding a real connection, and trying to navigate through the issues of their past to make a future together. It isn’t going to be easy, but real life and real love rarely is.

He leaned against the counter and studied me with a soft smile on his face.

"What?" I asked.

He was still distractingly shirtless and suddenly self-satisfied.

"You like me," he said.

"Yeah…?" I rolled my eyes playfully and tried to walk away.

But he wouldn't let me. He grabbed the back of my robe and pulled me close to him.

"I like you, too," he muttered in my ear and hugged me.

That’s what sets this story apart from others for me, not just because of the pairing, but because the approach to the entire story. From beginning to end we are treated a slice of life, of heartache, wonder and even romance, but in the end it’s that realism that drives ever word of this story home.

Chele - Rosalie Hale was convinced that she was content with following the natural course of her life. She would soon be someone’s wife, which negated her need to take care of herself in any way that wasn’t geared to pleasing Royce King. Sometimes it takes something dramatic give a person a true chance at happiness. Sometimes, someone has to die.

Rosalie’s journey through the loss and humiliation following Royce’s death cuts to the heart of lost dreams and personal expectations. We see early on that Rosalie’s biggest obstacle is her unwillingness to value herself. Her friendships had fallen stagnant as she placed her self-worth in the hands of a man who kept her a secret. Her successes in re-igniting these friendships bolsters her, and we see her start to bloom and make efforts to become whole and independent, and yet, her inner monologue of self-hatred continues to persist.

MJinAspen has a gift for emotional expression in her writing. Her words find a way to expose your deepest secrets. She can make a canon cold and untouchable character like Rose completely relate-able by infusing a realness and vulnerability that you can’t help but feel.

I wanted to tell her I couldn't do this – not alone, anyway. But it was hard to admit so much failure in one day. I had failed to keep Royce from finding someone better to marry, and I was a failure at figuring out how to feel about it all.


She captures so perfectly in Rose’s inner monologue a moment of self-esteem vacuum. When you so selfishly think little enough of yourself that you believe you’ve changed the course of other’s actions because of your own perceived inadequacies.

Her blossoming UST-laden friendship with Edward, her landlord’s brother, is perfectly timed. He has no hesitation to express his displeasure at her self-recriminations, and she’s too raw not to be honest.

"Do you hate all women or just yourself?"

"I don't hate myself, Edward, I just hate my thighs," I answered with
a teasing smile and a batting of my lashes, trying to lighten the
mood. "I'm not blind or crazy, either. I know there're women out there
who look sexy with curves; I'm just not one of them."


Rose is just a normal girl with a love of good music, the color red, awesome sex, and her one-eyed cat, but she has an amazing propensity for loving people and life which she’d allowed to languish while marching headlong toward her expected life of picket fences and country club lunches. Edward is a man who, despite his protests, wants a relationship with a beautiful woman with a kind heart who can keep pace with him in a conversation, and suck his cock out of desire instead of guilt or obligation. It’s truly a match made in pervy heaven, which we, as readers, see long before they do.

Even if you think you can’t let go of your pre-conceived notions of what Edward and Rosalie’s canon relationship would be, give yourself a chance to be convinced.
MJinAspen’s masterful ability to create characters so real you want to share a bottle of wine with them and them watch them fuck truly shines through in Disenchanted Lullaby. I guarantee that you will be a believer.

Jen - There are some fanfic writers who you know will always deliver, no matter what type of story alert has hit your inbox. mjinaspen is one of those authors. Disenchanted Lullaby, her newest fic, is a Rosalie/Edward story that has had me riveted from the first word.

Rosalie is so complex here. So often she’s a one-dimensional representation of her canon characteristics. Not the case here. On the outside she comes across as fearless, brash, and very much schooled in the ways of the world. When we get to know her a bit better, we see that she’s also a bit naive and simply really eager to be loved. The death of her boyfriend, Royce, leads her to see that she was living on the surface, trying to attain a fairytale life- rich husband, white picket fence, children- which was really her mother’s dream for her. The heart of Disenchanted Lullaby is Rosalie getting to know who she is and what is most important to her in life.

What can I say about this Edward? He’s completely sexy and irresistible from the moment we meet him: shirtless, wet, and tattooed. He’s more than just a pretty face; he’s smart, loyal, and is dedicated to his dog, a rescue shelter bull mastiff.

While Rosalie is immediately taken by his physical appearance, after sharing a meal with him, Esme, and Carlisle (his brother and sister-in-law), she’s not so sure about the man behind the tattoos. Is he really a pompous jerk, or is Rosalie making up stories in her head? She admits her physical attraction to him, and decides that even if he’s not interested in her or is simply a jerk, that she can interact cordially with him.

Edward and Rosalie slowly get to know one another, mostly through long phone calls, and suddenly her attraction is more than just physical. Even over the phone, their attraction is palpable. Their talks are serious at times, yet imbued with playful flirting. Even when Rosalie doesn’t know if their relationship will move beyond friendship, the tender care and regard Edward holds toward her will make you swoon.

Edward let out an exasperated sigh.

"Róisín…"

I shivered in delight at the sound of him using my new nickname.

"I'm not going to ask you to change who you are," he continued. "But will you try to change the way you talk about yourself? For me?"

I loved the name and I loved that he was asking me to do something for him.


When they finally share their first kiss? It’ll make your knees weak, I promise you.

If you’ve never given an Edward/Rosalie story a try, I hope you’ll give Disenchanted Lullaby a try. Mjinaspen is weaving a story that is incredibly sexy and full of emotional depth. Edward and Rosalie are fascinating characters, and I’m loving their interactions. Rosalie’s learned so much about herself so far, but I can’t wait for her to blossom to her full potential.


Jess -Disenchanted Lullaby is the story of two people trying to figure out who they are and what they want in life after a going through relationship heartbreak. On the surface, this appears rather typical, but as you peel back the layers of this story, you find a Rosalie that is deep, desperate to be loved, witty and intelligent, and absolutely beautiful.

Sadly, like many women, she suffers from terrible self esteem, believes she isn’t good enough to be loved and that she has little to offer. Except that’s where she’s wrong. After her so-called boyfriend, Royce, is killed in a car accident, she is forced to really figure out who she is, what she wants, and exactly how she’s going to get it.

Edward, is a video game designer and a self defense instructor, covered in tatts and epically swoony. He proves that sometimes first appearances and perceptions can be misleading, and as he and Rose overcome his past baggage, we find someone who is warm, caring, intelligent, and so, so thoughtful. The thing I love about both Edward and Rose is how real they are. The struggles, the emotions, the fears and insecurities are so real and present. I find myself easily able to see where they are coming from and why they behave the way the do. It just makes sense.

The chemistry between these two is off the charts. Rose has always related and used her sexual prowess, and Edward is certainly no virgin. So, watching them try to navigate the waters as friends and then... more, is full of so much unfy goodness. When things finally heat up, we get this:


My hands were on his shoulders as I rode him slow and soft, rotating, squeezing. His hands explored my hips, my belly, my breasts, and my back.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, and I almost cried.

No one had ever said that to me while we were fucking.

"Fuck me," he said. "Fuck me while I kiss you."

That, I had heard, but the way he said it was so… reverent.


Even in the moment, there are questions of whether or not what they are doing is okay, is it what they both want, and I just love it, because it’s so them! They are vulnerable and intense... and yet, they find that space where they give in to each other, use their strengths, and it is absolutely beautiful.

This pairing rocks my face off in all the best ways. Read it and leave mjinaspen some love!

Teal - So often, Rosalie Hale is proper, though harsh or brash. Sharp-tongued and confident. Strong and snide.

This slightly-rough-around-the-edges Rose can be all those things, yet she’s completely different from any Rosalie I’ve ever read. With her tattoos and the mistakes she’s made in relationships past, I find her one of the most relateable incarnations of this character I’ve ever seen. She’s realistic because she is so many of us. Beautiful, but with a skewed perception of her body. Loves sex, yet needs reinforced praise to feel completely confident in herself.

She’s smart and tough, but she’s still young and trying to find her way through life. She’s flawed, yet somehow perfect.

I think that is exactly the woman Edward sees. Despite her misgivings about herself, he recognizes them and sees past it all. She is woman and sex appeal, a heart with so much she’s willing to give, even while being slightly guarded. There’s something about Edward that Rosalie doesn’t understand yet, and whatever it is, it makes him such a good match for her. It helps him know her, even through all the unspoken aspects of their relationship, and it’s crafted him into the kind of man she never knew she always wanted.

I like that these characters aren’t completely transparent. That I want to know everything about them, but I like the mystery. That their relationship is unfolding in a natural, believable progression of getting-to-know-you versus god-I-can’t-deny-how-I-want-you. They’re learning and growing together, and giving the fandom quite a delicious buffet of intimacy along the way.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Pervy Picspiration

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Emmy wants your words. (amongst other things...) Every week Emmy will post a pic or 2 - containing phwoarrrr-worthy blokes from across the seas, some hunks from closer to home and sometimes some dangerously delish knickers and lingerie. What do we want from you in return? Well...... We want you to be inspired by these pics and to leave Emmy a delish drabble or longer story, or even a new chapter of an existing WIP, inspired by the pic(s). Remember it can be from ANY fandom you wish...

Leave your story offering in the comments section and, if you want to, post it to your FF account (pm the link to Emmy at http://www.fanfiction.net/~pippapear) mentioning the PPSS, by the following Wednesday. Each Friday Emmy will reveal her fave (entirely personal & subjective opinions belonging to Emmy) and at the same time post the next pervy picspiration for your pleasure. Non-Canon writers don’t despair - Emmy might be tragically WussPerv©, but there are plenty of equal opportunity pervs in the pack longing to read those if Emmy turp’s out.

Emmy is DYING to see what dirty delights you are going to come up with...

*Please make sure your story offering is in line with our mission statement



Oh dear. I have a HUGE apology to make. I somehow managed to completely miss out Heather Riddle’s Hot, naughty and fab canon yet not canon Harry Potter FF offering. Heather Riddle’s was inspired by this pic:



In a Ron/Lavender story, The Best Clients Ron and Lavender meet again as adults and adult fun ensues.....

So lets see if you braved the great outdoors this week... Want to remind yourself of all the delish loveliness? Some rarrrr images below folks!











And do remember, we are now linking with TwiFicPics for a monthly pervtastic banner competition! Read more about it here Pervy Banner TwiFicPics Competition.

The new competition was a few weeks ago, and there were some amazing entries! latestentries. The winner(s) are here! Go adopt a banner or let them inspire you!



Remember to go show Heather Riddle lots of love. Authors love getting reviews, and these guys have gone out of their way to give us delish picspiration goodies - make it worth their while!!!

So this week? We all hated the fade-to-black - right? But we do all so love black undies and knickers.....
Black knickers or a peek of black lace, black silk or even black cotton looks great right?
Lets go black this week folks.
SO what do these pics do for you, do to you? Just go for it and WRITE anything for ANY FANDOM that the pics or prompt inspires..!

Write me anything - be it Slash, FemmeSlash, AU or AH, canon or even OOC... AND remember for any fandom... Perhaps one of the pics inspires you to write a new chapter in a work-in-progress, or try something new. Be it a drabble, be it a one-shot or be it a WIP, just write for me. Make it sexy, make it sweet and tender, make it sensuous, erotic or downright naughty. Your call. Just let the inspiration take you - be you a BNA or an innocent virgin, wanting your Pervy Picspiration cherry popped for fun. Write whatever the pics inspire in you.....
















I’m waiting.........

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

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Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


DISCLAIMER:


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.





Some reader feedback from last week’s post:

Not a question but rather a response to the ingrown hair question...
I know exactly what that reader means. I wax often and was constantly getting ingrown hairs and exfoliating and moisturizing didn't help. I was looking for a good ingrown hair treatment and got turned onto mens lines. They're often for sensitive skin and made for post shaving so they are super moisturizing. The best one I have found so far is Anthony Logistics for Men Ingrown Hair Treatment. You can find it at Sephora for under $30 and it can even be ordered online from their website.

I hope this helps as I truly understand how painful ingrowns can be


Thank you very much for sharing. My readers are always so good about helping each other out, and it makes Naughty Nurse Kimpy tingly happy inside.

Is it weird to watch porn? Also, is there such a thing as a safe adult video site?
Dear naughty nurse, I am a 19 year old virgin just now indulging in masturbation, but I seem to have trouble visualizing during. I would go to a porn websites, but I am too afraid that I would get a virus on my computer, and I cant afford to send it out to get fixed, any websites you can suggest that are free and without viruses?


I have to admit I giggled a little bit with your first question--I mean, you do realize who you're asking, right? Trust, Naughty Nurse Kimpy is never going to tell you that it's weird to watch porn (unless it's something that involves graphic violence against any participant, coercion of any kind, or anything involving underage participants). Ever. In fact, in a recent survey, conducted on males and pornography, it was exceedingly hard for them to find a control group, because nearly every male they surveyed watches or uses porn. In a word, NO. It isn't weird to watch porn.
Is there such a thing as a safe adult video site? That answer is more nebulous. In general, I'm extremely leery of using online video sites because of the propensity to pick up viruses there (and by viruses, I mean the electronic, not the infectious disease kind!). In general, the Pervs agree with me. You can refer to the previous question for a few more resources, but in general, just be very, very careful, and don't even try to access that kind of stuff at work or in any other environment where it would be a bad idea to be caught perusing porn. Just because I don't think it's weird to use porn doesn't mean you want to go out and do it whenever, wherever you want.

That being said, please read on; you’ll some really great references that follow.

I have been looking at porn for some time now but it has gotten to the point where everything is predictable. Do you have any suggestions on where I can find sites that show REAL orgasms not faux porn star status?


Dude, I feel your pain. I mean, when a guy has sex? I want his cock to be hard. I want it to look real. I don't care if the sex is messy and unchoreographed. In fact, the more unscripted it is, the better! There's a TON of amateur porn out there, and there's also a wide range of quality. It's hard to find something that's really erotic, but well done.
There's a wonderful video series of real couples having real sex that I love, called Real People, Real Life, Real Sex. The couples are interviewed about their relationship and sex life, and then they're filmed having sex. There are female couples, male couples, and hetero couples. It's available from Amazon, but some people have loaded it onto youtube, too.


Love, love your column wish it had existed in my youth but one thing… everyone recommends porn as a tool to help get someone in the mood yet offers no suggestions as to what to watch. If I could be so bold might I make some suggestions?

Most people are turned of fby the ugly men and the plastic bodies found in a lot of porn so people give up on it but look here are some suggestions for a newbie to try and as you grow and become more comfortable with your self you can start searching for what turns you on the internet is a great place to find it.

1) Scent Of Desire (Le Parfum du Desir) - This is French film which has been dubbed in English I don’t bother switching to the English version cause its not like I’m watching for the dialog. It shows young beautiful people having sex in and around a French mansion out in the country. The opening scene has a long strand of pearls that is just Unf!

2) Tiffany Thompson is a young porn actress she has released some short videos some no more than 20 min long aka Teenagers in Love. The shots are loving beautiful and show an idealized version of sex but it does the job of getting you nice and bothered. Some of them can be found for free on redtube.

3) Stoya is another young porn actress her films show some light fetish sex and idealized rough sex that just barely touches BDSM. She also has a big grin while having sex which makes it look like she is really enjoying herself. The movie Workaholic is a good place to start.

4) Private Independent An Open Invitation A Real Swingers Party in San Francisco-LKRG - This follows a couple as they discover the joys of swinging and it ends at a real swinging party so you see real people with real bodies enjoy sex.
5) Redtube is a free service where a person can view clips of porn films what ever your heart desires you will find it there. Clips can fun from a minute long to 30 minute or more. You can preview the clips before you click on them just by holding your mouse over the clip it can be bandwidth heavy so its always a good idea to preview before clicking.

6) Vivthomas I’ve found that the movies here are a bit more romantic than the average porn. This is a pay service but again you can find free clips on redtube so you can preview to see if the subscription is worth it.


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