Friday, July 30, 2010

The Education of Professor Cullen by Sheviking

The Education of Professor Cullen





College professor Edward Cullen is thoroughly annoyed by his student Ms. Swan. Everything about her bothers him, and he longs for the semester to be over. But what happens when he meets her one night when they aren't in school? Lemons and naughty language


In the year that I have been involved in fanfiction, I have come across many, many fics that have Edward and Bella in teacher/student roles.  Very few are successful.  The Education of Professor Cullen by sheviking is one of those.  Instead of having a shy, naïve Bella taken in by the older, wiser Edward, sheviking turns it around by having a Bella who is strong, confident, and sexy meet the reserved, bookish Edward who is suffering from an unfortunate dry spell and lack of confidence in the bedroom.

At the start of the story, Bella is one of Edward’s students.  She is a constant source of frustration to him; from the way she dresses to her attitude towards him in class.  Yet, he can’t stop thinking about her or talking about her to his brother, Emmett.  After a class discussion over the book Lolita, Edward starts to realize that his “frustration” over his student is not quite so innocent and may be an entirely different kind of frustration.

A chance meeting at Emmett’s bar, a ride home, and an invitation up starts what ends up being some very intense, very educational, and very hot times for Professor Cullen.

“The second the thought entered my mind I realized that I was already in trouble, because I felt Ms. Swan's hands on each side of my face and her body pressed against mine. And she felt naked.”

The Professor becomes the student, learning from the sexually adventurous Bella.

“Sex had never exactly been fun for me. It had been somewhat awkward and had left me feeling inadequate because I hadn't been able to show the woman that I was dating a good time. I had never had any problems rising to the occasion, so to speak, and I always finished but I was the only one in the bed who was satisfied when we were done. This girl was clearly used to enjoying herself, and that only made me even more apprehensive. What if she laughed at me because I didn't know how to touch her? All my knowledge and all my academic achievements didn't matter at all in her bedroom where I was a novice. She was looking up at me, obviously waiting for me to say something. Then she held up her hand in invitation and gave me a smile.”

You can’t help but feel for Edward.  Haven’t we all been that bumbling novice at one point in our lives?  Yet, Bella is a good teacher to Edward.  She not only shows him what she likes, but helps him learn what he likes as well.

“I pushed my finger all the way inside her and she moaned again. Her hands flew to my belt and five seconds later my pants and boxers were pooled around my ankles. She stroked my length firmly and I gasped before I kissed her deeply. She broke the kiss, turned around in my arms and took a step forward to lean on her desk. I watched in amazement as she arched her back and spread her legs in supplication. I was behind her instantly and lifted her skirt up to reveal her naked firm backside. My lips were on the side of her neck and my hands grabbed her breasts. I had never felt this uninhibited before and I wanted her with an urgency I had never experienced previously.”

Seventeen chapters in, the reader can see just how far Edward and Bella have changed.  He has come from a geeky bookworm that to a confident and sexy man.  Bella begins to change as Edward’s affection for her tears down her walls. It reveals a rather sensitive girl who is afraid of being hurt and hides that behind casual sex. These changes in both of them give Edward the strength to stand up for himself and to find something worth fighting for, namely Bella.  They started out as sex-buddies, but as the story evolves, you can see how the feelings between Edward and Bella change, even if they aren’t prepared to acknowledge them yet.

One of the funniest parts of the fic is when Edward’s parents come by to visit while Bella is over.  The very different reactions that Esme and Carlisle have over finding out their quiet, good son is involved with his student, ten years his junior, are priceless.

When Edward and Bella aren’t between the sheets (or on the couch or the floor, etc), they deal with the dynamics of their relationship.  He is still her teacher and has to learn how to compartmentalize what they have outside of the classroom in order to not show favoritism and get himself in trouble.  They also have to deal with what being in a relationship, even a sex-buddy relationship, entails.

This is the kind of fic I enjoy.  I love a good smutty fic like the next h00r, but I want a story too.  I want my porn to have a plot, damn it!  sheviking does not disappoint.  She balances the right about of sex and story to keep the reader interested and aroused.  I strongly recommend this fic to anyone who likes a story with her smut.  After reading some of the more arousing chapters, you may want to make sure your significant other is around to reap the benefits of sheviking’s writing.

It is no secret that I love a nerdy awkward Edward. This one has it in spades, but as I was chatting with my fellow Pervs about this story, I couldn’t help but point out that this Edward was socially awkward, but not socially retarded. He is just a guy who has lived a somewhat sheltered life. He has done what he has needed to do. I think he has enjoyed his solitude and study up to this point in his life. Edward has slept with a few women, but never was secure enough in himself for the experiences to be anything more than average. What he needed was liberating, and that is where Bella comes in.

I love the Bella in this story. She is sexually secure and seems to have a confidence about her. She is in your face from the first chapter. She doesn’t ease Edward out of his shell, she cracks that fucker open with a sledge hammer. The ironic thing in the end is that her shell cracks too, and as the story goes on, we see the abandoned girl behind the tough facade. We know a lot of her story of losing her parents, and eventually her grandfather caretaker, but there still seems to be a part of her vulnerability that we haven’t seen.

In a twist, as she softens, Edward gains his footing. It reaches it’s zenith in the latest chapter as our emotionally stunted Bella tries to flee:

Relief flooded through me. She didn't mean what she was saying. Isabella was a horrible liar or maybe I just knew her face so well that I could see it clearly. I walked over to her and made her look up at me.

"Tell me that you don't feel anything for me. Look me in the eye and tell me that this has just been sex to you and nothing more," I challenged her.

From the outside it might seem like I was taking a huge risk in putting Isabella on the spot like this but it didn't feel that way to me. I knew that she had feelings for me. She couldn't have faked everything that had happened in the last few days.


She took a ragged breath and avoided my eyes. I lifted her chin and she met my gaze.

"I…don't f-feel anything f-for y-you," she stammered and her eyes overflowed with tears.

"Liar," I whispered and cupped her face in my hands.

"This w-was j-just…sex," she gasped as the tears ran down her face.

"Liar," I murmured and bent down to kiss her.

Her lips trembled against mine and she was completely rigid. I looked at her when I pulled back. All her actions this morning gave off the impression that she wanted to leave but I knew her now. She was sad and most of all scared. All she knew was being alone so she was trying to push me away again. I had no idea what had happened during the night to cause this dramatic shift in her, but I knew that she didn't mean what she was saying at the moment.

I had spent my entire life being afraid of the unknown, always sticking to my routine to avoid disorder and chaos. I knew fear when it stared me in the face and right now it was painted all over Isabella's beautiful features.

"Don't be scared," I whispered.

This story has taken a beautiful arch from pure physical pleasure to two people who should have never worked falling in love. As much as the lemons leaving me fanning myself, the rainbows and kittens are done with such a tender touch. Soft moments like the first time the shift occurred from sex to making love (see Nina's quote below).

In one final note, my favorite small detail that has my dirty bird brain on over-drive: Bi-sexual Jasper. He is a minor character. Just a friend/co-owner with brother Emmett in this story, but the one conversation about his sexuality is enough to make the girly bits applaud. (was HOPING for some Jasper sandwich at the club...just sayin')

"I'm not gay," he said casually. "I'm…versatile. It's all about the person for me. It transcends gender."

Emmett stared at his friend completely bug-eyed. This was obviously news to him.

"You're not into me, are you?" he blurted out.

Jasper threw his head back and roared with laughter.

"No!" he gasped and wiped his eyes. "No, I'm not into you, Em."

"Well, it's not that funny, is it?" Emmett said with a pout and crossed his arms.

"No, I'm sorry, buddy," Jasper said and gave him a pat on the back. "You're a very attractive man but you're really not my type."

"I tend to go for guys more like Edward actually," he added and smiled at me.

Yes, please and thank you. ;)

5 out of 5 Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks

Ok chaps. Let’s get cut to the chase from the get-go yes? This story is fucking hot. - I do NOT say that often. I think a topic we often discuss in our reviews and in our Pack discussions on stories, is how Bella is often a scared, insecure, inexperienced, sexually repressed, virgin. (although don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy many of those stories) and that can get tiresome. We at the pack are obviously women who know what we like and like to go get it. So it makes sense we are often frustrated by an adult Bella who yields completely to Edward and is always the one who is led into a sexual relationship blindly. Well its certainly not that way in this story.

This Bella? This Bella is independent, sexually assertive, fun-loving and is the one educating Edward, her university professor no less, on the ways of sexual pleasure. This Edward is a little bit naive and a little bit insecure but he is not a doormat or an idiot. He just needed someone who could properly awaken him, properly educate him and appeal to his dormant sexual preferences. The dates most people, including Edward thought suitable for a man like himself, never got him fired up and excited the way his student Bella does. Bella pushes his buttons in so many ways. It makes for an exciting and very erotic fiction.

But Bella - although she is very sexual and very skilled in getting what she needs sexually had her own fears and insecurities, although she functions extremely well with them. Edward however begins to draw her out, without either of them realising it, they begin to mean more to one another, and on a very nice twist - Edward begins to educate Bella on what more than sexual feelings can bring to a sexual relationship. I cannot wait to see where the author takes these two.

I adored the most recent chapters, including where Edward’s parents discover his relationship with Bella and all that occurs as Edward begins to realise the depth of his feelings for Bella, and begins to “own” those emotions. I love how Bella softens up whilst still remaining sexy and sexually adventurous and demanding. Their chemistry and hot adventures do not get weakened as they mean more to one another. Which is the way it should be, but often isn’t in fics.....

I seriously love this fic. Its cute but its also very very sexy, I love the way its played out and the real growth and development of the characters.

Five Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks out of five from me!

I’ve probably said it a million times in these reviews, but I love me some Geekward.

Well, here’s a switch.

I wouldn’t classify Professor Cullen as a “Geek” per se. He’s more an intellectual (but not snobby. Well, maybe a little snobby.), with a lack of social experience.

He prefers to spend time with his books then interacting with the world around him. Don’t misunderstand; he’s not socially inept in any way. I mean, the man can function in society, no problem. He’s just…naïve? Awkward? Inexperienced? And not just with his peers, but in the bedroom as well. Oh, he’s not a virgin, but he might as well as be. But we’ll get back to him.

And then there’s Bella. I, for the most part, don’t really like most Bella’s, but this one I love! Shocking, I know! What I like about her is that to Edward she appears hard and tough and a complete mystery. But us readers, we see that there is something more going on, that Edward might not be seeing. There’s a vulnerability to her that is completely endearing. There is a reason for the tough exterior, which really isn’t all that tough, that we are just getting into story wise. I, for one, can’t wait to see more of Bella’s back story. Like Canon Bella, she has a need to take care of those in her life. She would do anything for them, while keeping them at arms length.

Like my fellow reviewers, I love the growth that both Edward & Bella got through over the course of the story. Edward goes from repressed, completely proper and somewhat judgmental to someone that’s comfortable with his own sexuality, his sexual desires, owns his feelings for Bella and by all that becomes more confident in himself and maybe finally knows what he wants from life. It’s a slow, natural and realistic progression that he takes. It’s quite lovely.

Now, since the whole story is from Edward’s POV, we only see what he sees or doesn’t see as is the case sometime, Bella’s growth is a little harder to nail down. But it’s definitely there. Her standoffishness slowly dissolves and we can see her taking steps outside her comfort zone for Edward. There’s a yearning and utterly terrified tone to her sometimes. You can tell she wants what’s happening, but she’s so scared of it, she could bolt at anytime.

IMO, it’s a very difficult thing to balance the personal growth of the characters without them being fully self aware of it while progressing the story in a natural way and keeping it funny and fresh all at the same time. I think sheviking has done a brilliant job of this. No really, this story is beautifully written and told. And the smut isn’t so bad (i.e. FUCKING HOT) either.

One thing that I abso love about this fic is the use of inner monologue. I love it when it’s done right and not over used. sheviking knows what she’s doing in this regard. And just because I can’t resist, here’s my fav bit of inner monologue. It shows a funnier side to Edward that he doesn’t necessarily convey all that much or well.

How I am today, you ask? I'm great. Why? Because I am Isabella Swan's lover. I get to see her naked and everything. Oh, and did I mention that she wants me to tie her up and have sex with her? That's right. Because I am a very considerate lover. And I give her orgasms.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I flove this fic and these characters. The story & the characters are endearing, funny, awkward, sexy & all around lovely. Can’t wait for more. I’m hooked!

Five Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks out of five from moi!

A few months ago, my good friend Nina (you may have heard of her before) challenged me to read a story. She has this unique ability to rec stories to me that I end up falling in love with (that’s you, M81170), so I trust her when she takes the time to pimp a fic to me. Not gonna lie, the concept of this story initially squicked me out. Big time. A college professor screwing his student? Ew. Had it been a teacher and a HS student, I wouldn’t have touched it with a 10 foot pole; that they are both consenting adults made it marginally better. As a nurse, I understand the inherent difficulties of falling for someone who is off limits--after all, I could lose my license for something like that. Nina being Nina, however, made me give this lovely little fic a go, and I’m so delighted that I did. I really didn’t want to love it, but sheviking won me over almost immediately.

Setting aside my distaste for/bias against a teacher/student relationship, regardless of age, I began to read. Professor Cullen is a man who is tightly wound, anally retentive (oh, be still my heart!!), and on the conservative end of the spectrum in manner of dress and lifestyle. He loves nothing more than a quiet night at home and an easy, predictable schedule. Bella is a beautiful, sexually confident student in his English class. She is brilliant, but gets under his skin. She interrupts him all the time, contradicts him, and challenges him. She wears heavy makeup and suggestive clothing. She flirts with him, like winking at him after she gives her opinion, or calling him “Edward” instead of “Professor Cullen,” both egregious errors in the Professor’s mind. In short, Bella infuriates Edward so much, he gets worked up about it outside of the classroom. Emmett, as Edward’s older, wiser, and much more experienced brother, makes the observation that if she makes him this passionately wound up, there has to be some genuine sexual tension there. Edward lets Emmett know--in no uncertain terms--that students are strictly forbidden, off limits, to their professors. Bella, at 21, is ten years younger than Edward. End of story.

Except that it isn’t the end of story, it’s the beginning of story! All it takes is one brief run-in with Bella at a bar, and Edward is sunk. Emmett coerces Edward to go out with him, to loosen up, and the two end up at the bar Emmett owns. When the boys get a look at our girls (naturally, Bella’s best friends are Rosalie and Alice), Emmett calls Edward’s bluff:

“That's Ms. Swan," I heard myself say, and instantly regretted it.

"The one in the red dress?" he asked incredulously. "Are you serious?"

I nodded.

"The annoying one who isn't your type? You are so full of shit, bro! You need to tap that, and then introduce me to her friend."

All it takes is Edward giving Bella a ride home from the bar, and then inviting him up to her room for “a drink.” Oh, and did I mention, Emmett almost needed to twist Edward’s arm to get him to drink one beer at the bar? Yeah, the poor dude is toast. Putty in her hands.

I’m not sure, exactly, what it is about a sexually confident Bella and sexually inexperienced Edward that gets my heart racing, but whatever it is, “Please sir, I’d like some more.” UNF. sheviking’s Edward is so awkward, you cringe for him. Bella is so seductive, she’s like a cat stalking her prey; not in a negative way, but in a sensual way. You can just imagine her circling around him, sizing him up, deciding how to pounce on him for the kill. Let me tell you, Bella knows how to make the kill. Edward never had a chance from the moment she set foot in his car.

Edward has only had a few sexual experiences in the past, and they haven’t been rewarding. His conclusion is that he is no good at sex, and has no confidence in his abilities as a result. All it takes is a sexually experienced Bella to turn him on, to let him know he’s skilled and has all the right equipment. She creates a sex monster, and you will be so glad she did. They have some pretty fuckhot sexxytimes, once she convinces Edward it’s okay to let go:

"Look Edward, I can see that you're nervous," she said and sat back up on the bed. "But you really shouldn't over think this. It's just sex. It's supposed to be fun, remember?"

Stay or go? Stay or go? Stay or go?

"You won't tell anyone?" I whispered.

She shook her head.

"I don't fuck and tell," she said with that lopsided grin of hers. "I swear."

The story continues on as Edward and Bella slip into a fuckbuddies relationship, fraught with the challenges of secrecy. As you can imagine, the situation becomes complicated as Edward starts to fall in love with Bella, who is only committed to a sexual relationship. When Edward messes up royally (I leave the specifics for the story so as not to be a spoiler), he is faced with losing Bella for good, and ends up conspiring with Emmett and one of his bartenders, Jasper.

Here is where I must digress for a moment, and make a little PSA. Even if I hated sheviking’s story, which isn’t possible, I would love her eternally for creating a bisexual Jasper who falls in love with “people, not genders.” It is so rare in fanfic to run across a smartly written homosexual, and even rarer to find one who is bisexual. Not only is Jasper bi, but he is perfectly, believably bi. For that alone, I want to lick sheviking up and down. When the three boys get a ghey makeover in order to spend the night at a ghey bar so Edward can get back into Bella’s good graces, sheviking has the ghey scene down spot-on. The entire bar scene had me smirking and giggling, it was just so real.

Towards the end of the chapters that have been posted thus far, sheviking throws in two things that will make me love her eternally--she pulls out the Bowie card (for those of you who are unaware, I am a HUGE Bowie freak). First, Edward takes out “The Hunger” to watch with Bella. Well, actually Bella watches, while Edward slowly seduces her. “The Hunger” is the most fuckhot, awesome vamp movie I’ve ever seen, with Bowie as a vamp, Catherine Deneuve as the vamp who turned him, and a much yonger Susan Sarandon. O. M. G. It’s too bad Bowie wasn’t younger when Twilight came out, because he would have made a fucking amazing Carlisle Cullen, IMHO. Rawr.

In Chapter 18, her loveliest, most touching chapter to date, Bella starts singing “Absolute Beginners” to Edward; while it isn’t my favorite Bowie tune, I still love it, and it is completely, perfectly appropriate for the situation. Not only that, but earlier in the story, Bella is listening to The Smiths, who also give me a major girlboner. sheviking, beware, ‘cos I’m about to fangirl all over your ass after those references alone.

Do yourselves a favor--don’t let bias get in the way of your reading this story. It pushes the boundaries of professional ethics, but only enough to give the story a salacious, yummy edge. Forbidden sex is almost always the hottest kind. And oh, do these two have hot sex. Lots and lots of hot sex. In fact, these two put “Lolita” to shame, and their love affair is so much kinder and more passionate than Humbert Humbert and his little tween conquest. My final word on the matter: UNG. Just so very UNG. *wipes drool off of keyboard nao*

5 out of 5 Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks

I’m not shy in my dislike for Manwhoreward and Virginella so imagine how thrilled I am to read a story where she’s sexually confident and owns her behavior. Add in a shy, not-to-experienced and slightly older Edward.

I usually keep away from Teacher/Student relations because it’s normally a turpentine moment for me but I admit I can tolerate when it’s in a collegiate setting.  The pacing of the story is what drew me in. The legitimate dislike and banter in the beginning was fantastic in setting the theme of the story and like Kitty said, the fact that it’s EPOV makes me love it that much more.

There are hilarious bits, sexy and steamy scenes and downright heartbreaking arguments, all of which are so well done that it’s seemless. It’s realistic in their plight and how the progression in their relationship from fuck buddy to... something more has made them both rethink everything they previously considered for their love lives.

Now for the smut. JFC. It’s hot. I realize that’s entirely too vague but my God, I almost think it’d be an injustice to spoil it. I admit that while the crazy, super sexy humpfests are great to read. The second to last chapter I think is my favorite in regard to lemons. While it starts off as cheeky fun in a role playing way but it evolves into their first realization that what they’ve been doing hasn’t just been ‘fuck buddying’ they’ve fallen in love. You do need to listen to “Flower Duet” and so help me, I may have read it twice because it was just that good.

The piece ended and she took a deep breath and looked up at me.

"It's so beautiful that it sort of hurts my heart," she whispered. "Do you know what I mean?"

I closed the distance between us and cupped her face in my hands.

"I feel that way when I look at you."

New tears filled her eyes and she blinked them away to gaze up at me. She took my hand and placed it over her galloping heart.

"I feel it too," she whispered.

All in all I adore this fic and I’m so happy we found it. :)  I look forward to diving into anything else sheviking writes.


So I started reading The Education of Professor Cullen one night before bed, intent on just reading a chapter or two to get a feel for the fic.  I wound up staying up ALL NIGHT because I just had to read the next chapter!

I LOVE that Edward can’t stand her and that Bella just grins and winks at him *kitty squeeeee*

I also LOVE that it is all in EPOV!  I LIVE for EPOV!  *again with the kitty squeeeee*

Edward’s awkwardness and inner dialogue is so freaking hilarious…

"You've got great tits," I blurted out.

What did I just say?

I clamped my hand over my mouth as if that could somehow retract the statement I had just made. I felt horrible that I had said something so vulgar. It was such an Emmett remark to make and I hadn't realized that my brother had influenced me with his crass language. I looked at her and I was sure that she could see that panic in my eyes.

"Edward, calm down," she said with a small laugh. "You're not the first person who has told me that I have a nice rack."

There were so many little bits of banter between the two of them that had me cackling like a raving lunatic, because that’s how I roll…
"Say cock," she said and raised her chin slightly.

"What? No!"

"Pleeease?" she pouted.

"No," I said, but couldn't help smiling because frankly she looked adorable.

"Come on, it's just one little word. We'll call it your vocabulary lesson for the day," she coaxed.

"No, I am not saying that," I laughed.

Not to mention…

"You did great. I'll definitely give you a B+," she said. "It would have been an A if you had said 'cock'," she added with her lopsided grin.

"Cut me some slack. I did say, um, 'clitoris' at least," I said, wondering if this wouldn't go down in history as the strangest conversation I had ever had.

"Yes, and that was very 'Anatomy 101' of you, Edward," she teased mercilessly. "Say 'clit' and I'll upgrade you to an A."

I have always been an over-achiever.

"Clit," I whispered and proceeded to blush.

She looked at me and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.

"Once more, with feeling," she said and raised an eyebrow challengingly.

I'll show her!

"Clit!" I yelled.

Heeeheeeeeee!!  God I’m such a dork!

Besides the goofy fangirl love I have for this fic, it really is well written.  They characters grow and evolve with each chapter as little bits of their little individual tics start to appear.  I could really quote the whole damned fic because I loved it THAT much!

I laughed and yes I cried because I’m a crier but with things like this…

"Edward?" she asked and furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Yes?" I said and brushed my lips against hers.
"That was the best…ever."

"Mmm," I hummed in agreement.


She hesitated and chewed on her bottom lip. I brushed her hair back and looked into her eyes.

"Tell me," I said softly. "What are you thinking?"

"We didn't just…fuck, did we?"

I shook my head slowly and my heart started pounding wildly in my chest. I had a feeling where this was going and I was both terribly nervous and excited about the outcome.

"And we didn't just have sex either, did we?" she asked and stroked my hair.

I shook my head again and caressed her cheek.


She looked away and took a shaky breath. I saw a tear slide down her cheek and made her turn her face to look at me again. She looked scared, vulnerable and so tiny underneath me.

"Shh," I soothed. "You don't have to say anything else, sweetheart."

I kissed her lips softly three times and smiled at her.

I HAZ DA BIG TIMEZ SWOONZ!!!  The seriously enormous, I-just-can’t-be-grinning-bigger grin with a side of jumpy claps!

5 out of 5 Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks for this kitteh!

sheviking claims to be a 30-year old mom in Denmark who has taken American Studies, but I'm kinda secretly hoping she lives a lot closer than that.  Mostly, because I want to hug her to apologize for my short and lame review.  I've been going on and on these last few days on twitter over this story, and bullying people I know into reading it NOW because I absolutely love it and I never get to rec stuff to anyone, and yet due to circumstances and Comic Con, my LAME computer is totally wigging out on me and I have to keep this short.  There are lots of things I could quote from the story, like my other wonderful co-reviewers have obviously done, but I'll keep this review in my own words, partly because of computer lameness and partly because this multi-chapter fic has too many great moments to quote.

I began reading before Comic Con, and could not stop!  I could have easily been put off by the way the story opens, and maybe some people will be, but I was that weirdly dressed (albeit not sexy at all) college kid.  It almost felt a little cliched, and when Bella spends her time in class making eyes at Professor Cullen, I was frankly surprised to not see an "Indian Jones" salute with "Love" on one eyelid and "You" on the other.

Thanks for not doing that.

But what drew me in was this very compelling, self-assured, and sexually-aware Bella.  As a true hedonist, viewing sex only as a way to experience fun and pleasure, she was really delightful to read about.  As the story develops and we find the fragile woman hidden inside the fiercely independent shell, I was completely in irrevocably hooked!!  She not only likes Edward for his good looks, but she comes to realize she truly does like him for the person he is.

Oh, and what a person he is, too!  Like "Love in my box", this Edward is a quiet social recluse, not because he is awkward and socially stunted, but because he's incredibly shy, and like LiMB, he has an Emmett to help him experience the world.  The few intimacies Edward has had with women left him feeling deficient and self-conscious, manipulating him so deeply that he simply avoids dating all together by simply professing that he should be “looking for a particular type of woman.”

In a chance encounter outside of the classroom, Edward ends up offering Bella a ride home, where she offers him more than he ever expected.  He may be her teacher in the classroom, but she becomes his teacher in the bedroom, proving to him that he isn't nearly as clumsy and insufficient as he was lead to believe.  (Edward’s internal monologues are totally hysterical.)  Likewise, when Edward sees Bella without all her dark goth emo makeup, he finds (much to his surprise) that he finds her overwhelmingly attractive.

The first time Edward calls her beautiful, we begin to see the crack in Bella's facade, though.  She's stunned and scared and suspicious, and finally grateful; daring to believe that maybe Edward really could find her appealing though no one has ever said this to her before without wanting something in return.

Currently at seventeen chapters, we watch Edward's character develop through a majority of the story through his first person point of view, but in the last few chapters we begin to see what makes up the woman he's falling in love with.  Bella's parents died when she was young, and she was raised by her grandfather, "Pops."  When he dies, she's distraught and turns to the only person who has ever made her feel whole.

Just as we've enjoyed watching Edward become more confident and self-aware of what he truly wants in life, finding the courage to say what he feels (and do what he feels!  rawr!), we see our confident Bella take a nose-dive in her own courage, feeling truly alone in the world.  They say the student has truly learned when comes the day that he can apply his knowledge to help others.  If that is the case, Edward was an honor-roll student, taking everything that Bella has taught him to help her through her personal crisis, battling his own doubts along the way to help her see that she's not alone and that he never wants her to be alone again.

The tension in this story is carefully balanced between Edward’s dilemma of being Bella’s teacher, awkward blind dates set up by Esme, over-thinking the grade on Bella’s term paper, the death of Bella’s grandfather, and—newly introduced in the last chapter—Bella’s fright-and-flight response to realizing Edward is in love with her, making her question what she really feels about him.  I simply can’t wait to see more of this story.

This is my last review as an honorary perv, and I have to say, I've never ever read AH fic that wasn't recommended to me... until I had this experience.  It's been a mixed blessing (in terms of time commitments), opening my eyes to new stories, exposing me to more authors and new ideas, and has really reminded me that even if you love canon, you can enjoy a wide variety of things for their own value, above and beyond "Twilight."

Thank you, PPSS, for this experience.  I will treasure it always... and add new stories to my alerts! Squeee!

5 out of 5 Naughty Professor Ruler Spanks

Monday, July 26, 2010

Dragonfly336 is "Laid Bare"

Laid Bare



When we meet Bella in Laid Bare she is 17 and is leading 2 different lives, which she refers to as “Forks Bella” and “La Push Bella”. She came to live with Charlie when she was 12 and around him, she is the perfect angel. She wears skirts and cardigans, she is part of the student council, tutors and babysits on the side, and is the epitome of sweetness. This, however, is all an act…wanting to be the perfect daughter for Charlie. Then we have her “other” self, which is actually the true Bella. She hangs out with her boys from La Push, smokes pot, and drinks. Bella is also intrigued by a certain bronze-haired, new student at Forks High.

Enter Edward, our typical 108 year old vampire. Although, he is not typical at all. As we are used to Edward being the “perfect” man, this Edward certainly is not. He is a “defective” vampire. He never “took” to drinking blood; he doesn’t enjoy it and is unsatisfying to him. His venom is also sterile. He found this out while trying to change Rosalie, so that he could have a mate. The change never took place until Carlisle finally injects her with his venom. Of course, they never become mates, and Edward becomes the brooding, lonely vamp we all know…That is until he meets Bella.

Edward wants her. He wants her body and her blood. So, needless to say, they get together. The lemons in this story are passionate, all consuming, steamy, obsessive, angsty, and because his venom is sterile, we get some biting as well.

"How do you make it possible for a dead heart to skip its beats? How is that possible?" His tone was nearly anguished; his face contorted as he grabbed my upper arms and pulled me flesh against him. "Tell me," he whispered against my lips.

This is just a passage to convey how Edward feels about Bella. They can’t keep their hands off of each other, they are entirely consumed by the lust they feel. Bella believes that anticipation and sexual tension will make “the actual experience all the more exhilarating.” She comes up with a game to play during their Biology class. The rules are that they can’t touch each other throughout the whole class. Edward has one request though.

"Can we compromise on one small detail?"

I smiled, linking our fingers and walking towards my locker. "What did you have in mind?"

"Let me hold your hand, Bella?" His eyes pleaded with me, his lips pressed against my temple as I felt his breath fan against my cheek. "I'll play your game of anticipation, beloved, but I need contact…I need your hand," he whispered gently.

And here starts their little game.

I parted my lips, tasting his sweet scent in the air as he shifted a little closer, his fingers drawing slow, suggestive circles along the table top as his eyes burned my body like lasers.

Like gorgeous, smoldering, clit-twitching lasers.

He hadn't said a word to me since we entered the classroom. Hadn't touched me since the moment we deposited ourselves into the lab stools. But I felt him on me…the way his eyes cocooned every inch of my body, his tongue running along his bottom lip to taste me in the air and bring me inside of him, the gentle movements of his fingers, working the smooth tabletop in the same way they'd glide along my heated flesh.

I was losing control.

Damn him.

"I need your hand."

Give a new meaning to fingerporn! This is the way this lemon touching, except for hands.

"Three hours," he murmured deeply, his intense eyes assaulting me even further as he brought his face inches away from mine. "Three more hours and I'll be so deep inside of you..."

I whimpered, dropping my forehead to the top of his hand and letting his coolness soothe my balmy skin. I slowly ran my tongue along the top of his hand, sealing it with a kiss as my hooded eyes met his. "I need you, Edward."

"Soon, Baby," he murmured into my ear, careful not to let his lips touch my skin.
"My family is leaving after school to hunt—all of them. Come home with me…I can think of nothing else but the ivory of your perfect body spread between my midnight sheets. I'm fucking aching for you, Bella."

Who wouldn’t want Edward to be aching for them? I know I would! I love the intensity of these two in this story.

I swallowed thickly as Edward dragged my stool closer until he was straddling it, the grate of my chair sounding out in time with the metal TV cart as it was dragged to the front of the class. I felt the vibration of scraping metal reverberate through the legs of my chair and shoot straight through the center of my body, the room growing unbearably hot as the last two light switches were flipped and the movie began blaring loudly from the front of the room.

I felt Edward's foot slip intricately through my stool, maneuvering me until he was practically wrapped around my entire body—but careful not to touch me.

I folded my arms and rested them on the table, laying my head down and staring warily in Edward's direction. His smirk was smoldering as he leaned closely, the curve of his jaw illuminated in the pitch darkness by the light coming from the boxy screen in the front of the room. His gaze was unwavering as he rested his head in his palm.

He moved in slowly, his nose barely resting above my ear as his heavy breathing sent pangs of pleasure throughout my body. "Do you still think you can ignore me, beautiful girl?"

Nope. I'm completely and utterly fucked…in the best way possible

And the best way it is! Throughout this story, we see their love/lust as something that is otherworldly, like normal humans wouldn’t be able to contain the powerful feelings that they have for each other.

I was so wet, so ready to have his touch between my legs that I was shifting in my seat. I knew he smelled the fresh wave of my arousal the moment he growled and sucked the venom from his teeth, his mouth getting sloppy not to touch as his wet lips pressed against my ear. "How connected do you think we are, Bella? I can't speak for you, but I'm attuned to your every movement, every breath, every sound you make. I literally revolve around your very essence, beloved. You are absolutely everything to me…and I wonder, just how can I prove it to you without giving you my touch?"

Are you wondering? Well, for one, we get to see our favorite dirty-talking Edward come out to play!

"Oh, I'll show you, Bella. I'll show you…" He opened my palm, ghosting the pads of his fingers along my slightly sweaty skin. The gentleness of his touch was alive against my flesh, the slight tickle making the rubber band in my stomach coil and release. "You're so wet, baby. God, I can smell how fucking wet you are. If we weren't surrounded by an audience, I'd crawl beneath this table and shred every piece of fabric covering your hot skin. Just feel it, Bella. Imagine my tongue making one strong pass along your dripping pussy. "

His breathing was becoming labored as he let his bottom lip rest against the shell of my ear. "I'm so hard, Bella. So fucking hard, I don't have the words to describe it. I can't stop thinking about your soft lips wrapped around my cock, your tongue pressing against me and sucking the pre-cum off my skin. Do you like tasting what you do to me?"

I nodded shakily, my face contorted in pleasure and agony as I imagined the taste of him in my mouth. Edward moaned softly and shifted in his seat, the muscles in his legs flexing against mine. "Is that sweet pussy swollen for me? I can almost feel your clit throbbing against my tongue. Is it throbbing for me, Bella?"

See? Don’t you love dirty-talking Edward? I know I do!

Shhh," he soothed, tightening my fingers around his. "Now show me. Show me how hard that sweet pussy is clenching for me. Let me feel it."

I groaned, squeezing the muscles between my legs while my fingers mirrored the action around his. "Yes," he whispered, his fingers twitching beneath mine. "Keep going, baby. Squeeze yourself for me slowly…don't stop." I bit my lip and pushed my head against his forehead, the clench and release of my sex doing nothing but heightening the intensity of my need. The muscles in my stomach were wound so tightly, the heavy swirling of pleasure making me feel intoxicated as Edward's sultry words invaded my body and mind.

His breathing was throaty and sporadic as my fingers constricted around his, subtly starting to work them up and down as I writhed in my seat. "Are you stroking me, Bella? Are you showing me how you'd stroke my cock?"

I moaned and Edward shushed me…I looked around the room to remind myself that we
weren't alone. "Yes," I whimpered, squeezing his hand before sliding his fingers up and down inside of my enclosed fist.

A shudder wracked through his body, his tongue darting out to taste the skin behind my ear. "I can feel your little hand on me, Bella. I can almost feel your fingers digging into my cock. God, I want to see my cum on your skin…I want to claim you, mark you as mine. Because you are mine, Bella. You're mine." His voice was straining as our hands demonstrated exactly what our bodies were aching to feel.

There is something so sexy and naughty about “sex” in a public place.

His thumb rubbed the top of my hand in frantic circles, our fingers clenching and releasing together to the beat of our throbbing bodies. And then, through my fog of arousal, I finally realized what he was doing.

He was going to make me cum without touching me.

Ahh..and there you have it! This is why I love this lemon! It is very unique, and sooo hot!

"Like that," I moaned, my back arching in my chair as his finger slid through mine in suggestive, languid strokes. "Just like that…keep talking to me, Edward."

"Tell me how it feels." His voice was rough and deep as his finger pressed down on the skin between two of mine. I couldn't begin to explain how the hell he was doing it, but the pressure he inflicted on my hand made me one step closer to a mind-blowing climax. I grunted in the back of my throat as he sat up eagerly in his chair, his fingers sliding harder along mine as he growled in my ear. "Tell me what my voice is doing to your body."

I bit my lip and clasped my eyes tightly, trying to pull myself together enough to form coherent sentences. "Your voice…it's in my ear, but I feel it in my body, all over me…you're inside of me, Edward. You are inside of me right now."

"More," he demanded, his lips pulling my earlobe into his mouth as his body started moving against mine in time with our fingers.

"Your hand," I swallowed audibly, pushing my ear against his mouth as he fucked it with his tongue. "I feel your fingers sliding through mine, and I know that's the way you'd stroke my pussy, baby. I feel it…I feel your cold, hard fingers inside of me…fucking me, taking me, owning me. I am yours…and you're claiming me right now. It hurts, I'm so tender but I'm so fucking close, Edward. God, what are you doing to me?" I cried silently, my whole body trembling as I fought to get myself closer to him.

I love the visual of Edward’s fingers moving against her hand here.

I clenched the muscles between my legs tightly, the wetness seeping out of me and running down my inner thigh and saturating into the fabric of my jeans. "Mmm, that's it, baby. I hear you working yourself…I smell you. Squeeze tighter, harder…fuck, I'd be pounding you so hard right now. I need to see you cum, Bella. Please, please…I need it."

He was getting as frantic as I was as his fingertips drifted along my skin, his desperation fueling the pulsations of my body. My heart was racing…he was really going to fucking do this…

His hand slid from my wrist and took mine, his fingertips pressing against the skin between my fingers and sliding them back and forth slowly. This simple action was driving me absolutely crazy. I was seconds from giving him exactly what he wanted.

At this point, aren’t we all seconds away?

"Edward," I cried softly, my hips rising slightly off of my chair as a slow, tremoring burn started weakening my limbs.

"It's all right, beautiful girl," he whispered in a strained voice. "I have you, and I want it. You make me feel so fucking good, baby. Look up at me…let me see your face…let me see your climax. Share it with me….make it ours, love."


I came hard and silently, my fingers digging into the hair at the base of his neck as wave after wave of arousal assaulted my body. I couldn't hold still as I came viciously, Edward pulling me against his body while I fought the urge to scream, to thrash, to completely lose my fucking mind.

It felt different, reaching climax without touch. It was gentle but fierce…it snuck up on me and slid throughout my entire body like a thick wave of molten lava until I was absorbed in nothing but this intense, gratifying burn.

I didn't make a sound until after it traveled through every inch of me, the aftershocks causing a low, steady whimper to sound from the back of my throat. Edward's mouth pressed against mine, taking my cries into his mouth and silencing them from the outside world.

Whew! So there you have it! If that doesn’t make you want to read this story, I don’t know what will. Brits23 is an amazing writer and this story is just one of those that keeps me coming back for more, no pun intended! Not only are all the lemons in this story intense, but the story line is wonderful too!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

gkkstitch likes it On The Double

On The Double




It's Bella's first day on the job as a body double in the new Edward Masen film. First up? The sex scene...O/S for the Haiti Compilation. Rated M for lemons. AH

Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not an AHAU fan. I don't hate it—or even avoid it for that matter—but it's simply not my first choice when it comes to Twilight Fanfiction. By my definition, Twilight FF has to be about vampires, but I'll still read a good story regardless what the writer names the characters. So I kinda feel like I'm betraying my morals here by doing a PPSS review of an AH fic, but, dammit, I loved it too much!

Bella is a 23-year old law student in southern California who is a stand-in on the side. She isn't aspiring to become an actress. She just needs to pay for school. She gets a call one day that a production that is already filming is having a casting crisis, and ask her to be a body double instead of just a stand-in. The director is Carlisle Cullen and the film stars the beautiful, sexy and famous Edward Masen.

Did I mention that they need her for the sex scene with the star? No? Hmm... how could I forget that and torture all of you like this? SHAME ON ME! (chuckle)

Mike Newton makes a cameo in this one-shot as a production assistant. Alice is there, too, as the make-up artist who assures a very nervous Bella that Edward Masen is a consummate professional. (Did I spell that right? It's so close to consumate, ya know? And it would be just like me to make that intentional slip-up. Oops, did I just admit that out loud? Delete-delete-delete-delete)

"Well, I don't blame you for being a little jittery, Bella. That's perfectly normal." She stroked my hair softly now, rolling it into large Velcro rollers as she worked. "Of course it's a bit unconventional for him to be shooting a scene with an untrained double—much less a sex scene—but I promise there's really nothing to be scared of. Edward is a consummate professional. I've worked with him on five films now, and I promise he'll make sure you're completely comfortable."

I've never officially been "in the business", but I have enough TV & Radio background that I've occasionally been called in by friends who are, to run cameras and help out in the booth once in a while. So I've seen enough of the behind-the-scenes to know that MasenVixen got this story dead-on in many aspects. Joan and Joe Average off the street are all all flutter about anything to do with television, but for those who spend twenty hour days doing this work seven days a week, it tends to loose it's glamour. So I could truly appreciate the ho-hum attitude of Alice and Mike and Emmett as they kindly make Bella feel at ease.

I strode toward the soundstage hurriedly before I realized that I had no idea where I was going or what the hell I was doing. Just then, I felt two huge hands - paws, really - squeeze my shoulders.

"You must be Bella," a deep voice boomed as he spun me around to face him. "I'm Emmett. Your Assistant Director. The Doc to your McFly. The Mr. Miyagi to your karate kid. You need anything, you just ask me ..."

I absolutely loved the way MasenVixen paced this story so that you felt like you, too, were on pins and needles with Bella waiting for the one person who you knew was going to make your heart flip in your chest. While Bella is standing there in her pasties, thong and robe, she hears Edward.

Or rather, I heard the hushed whispers, the gasps and the nervous giggles that preceded his presence ... I tried not to stare as he padded around the room ... desperately trying to appear disinterested ... But it was futile.

He was wearing a bathrobe, for God's sake.

I realized, obviously, that I was also wearing a bathrobe. The same bathrobe, in fact. But this was Edward Masen. And he was here. Separated from me only by twenty feet, a terrycloth bathrobe, and a sash that hung oh-so-loose on his glorious hipbones.

Just as she's trying to get a handle on the fact that her heart is trying out for it's own part in The Great Escape, Emmett (bless his heart) walks over and whispers to Edward, whose eyes shoot in her direction.

I could see the credits in my head. "Starring Bella's Erratic Heart in the lead role, The Great Escape is both thrilling and wetting for panties everywhere! Nominated for four Oscars, including Best Slack-Jawed-Stare, Best Please-Form-Coherent-Words-When-My-Mouth-Opens, and Best I-May-Have-Orgasmed-When-He-Walked-Toward-Me. Coming soon to a theater near you!"

This story is written in first person and MasenVixen took full advantage of that, giving us the type of internal dialogue any of us would have if approached by our teen-aged movie-star crushes.

"Hello, I'm Edward Masen," he said, hand outstretched.

Uh, yeah, I think I've seen you somewhere before. Like on the wallpaper of my MacBook.

"'s a pleasure to meet you. I realize the circumstances are a little unusual ... I usually at least take a woman to dinner before we wind up naked in bed together," he quipped.

"Um, uh, well-"

"Oh, Bella," he laughed. "I'm obviously kidding. Look, I know it's weird, but just relax. I won't bite."

Damn, that's too bad.

I had to laugh out loud at that line, because I thought the same thing.

By the time Edward started to tease her about keeping her tongue to herself for their scene for the camera, I was completely into the scene in the story and felt I was there with them, grinning. I may have paused there to send out a thank-you tweet to MasenVixen, but I can't recall now, because I needed to keep reading, not unlike I am doing now using this review as an excuse to read it once again!

Even as Carlisle had them set the scene, you could feel the excitement. Edward very sweetly keeps asking Bella if she's okay, but he is being so damn professional about it, I almost thought this was going to be a... a.... What do you call a cock block for women? Pussy plug? Log jam? Hmm....

...Sorry. I get distracted like that sometimes.

Anyway, when Carlisle frames the shot and gives Edward some very liberal instructions you are so caught up in Bella's perspective that it was ridiculously easy to believe that you are right there in the moment with her, faintly aware of the entire production staff looking on and Not. Caring. At. All.

"Ok, you two, we're just going to have you go with it now. You know the premise. This is make-up sex we're talking about, so Edward, we need sweet at first. Tender. Bella, you're pissed at him still, so you kind of warm to it gradually. I'll tell you when to take it up a notch."

And with that, I was engaged in the hottest foreplay of my life.

I felt giddy myself when Carlisle finally gave Bella direction to "start to react" to Edward, and I thought I'd never read three more wonderful words in my life. That is until I read Edward's response to Bella's nervous hesitation: "You can touch me."

I want to talk more about what happened next when I read this the first time, but sadly, I fell off my chair and suffered a concussion. Everything is a little fuzzy from that day. So you'll just have to settle for my thoughts from my SECOND reading.

"Ok, that's good. That's good," Carlisle praised. "Now Edward, flip her so that she's on her back and you're on your side leaning over her. Then look at her for a bit. We want to do a close-in shot of your face."

I shifted to my back as Edward leaned over me and slid his hand to rest behind my neck. And then he stared - no, burned - into my eyes with his. He was completely still, tensed for the shot, save for the thumb that rubbed circles behind my ear, and the tongue that darted out to wet his lips.

The silent stare was sexy at first. Then smoldering. Then slightly uncomfortable as the time passed. I became acutely aware that I was, for all intents and purposes, naked beneath him. And that his near-naked body was hovering over mine—in a room full of people.

His breath was warm against my mouth, separated by mere inches. His eyes were still locked on mine as I struggled to maintain the contact. The effort became nearly impossible as his eyes seemed to be moving closer together. I realized, then, that he was crossing them intentionally. Trying to lighten the moment.

I really started to think that Edward was just as professional as Bella had been told he was when he crossed his eyes, but I have to admit that I had my doubts, too. There was no way the camera would have caught his thumb moving behind her ear. That was a huge hint that she was affecting him just as much as he was affecting her. I'd bet dollars to blowjobs, um, donuts, that he crossed his eyes to remind himself to lighten up and get to work. <--OMG, I love what I just typed there, and I am NOT changing it. When Carlisle gets his shot and gives them the green-light to kick it up a notch, Edward reassures Bella on how he'll proceed: "The key here is timing. I'm going to thrust my hips forward, and, from the back, it will look like we're touching, but don't worry, I'll keep a small space between us - I've done this a million times, okay?"

Yeah, right, big guy.

It all starts to go in Bella's favor when Edward's eyes stare at her lips, then her neck, then her chest, and he has to murmur a reassurance but you're not sure if it's to her, or for himself.

He lowered himself onto me then, bracing his weight on his left elbow, cupping my cheek with his right hand ... Despite my attempts at professionalism, at indifference, I lost myself momentarily in the tenderness of the gesture ... Unthinking, I turned my face to nuzzle into his palm, inhaling the hot, clean scent of him. My eyes fluttered closed as I melted into his touch.

"Nice, Edward. You read my mind. Tender, apologetic." Carlisle's voice interrupted my reverie and I blinked my eyes open ... "Bella, you're doing well, sweetie," Carlisle reassured me. "Just let Edward lead you. Ok, Edward, go ahead."

Oddly enough, I found myself so caught up in the scene that the interruptions from Carlisle as he gives them directions was not disrupting to me at all. Never once did it pull me out of the story. It was practically expected, and actually made the entire scene even more erotic because, let's face it, you can't get more public than a room full of people and cameras all staring at you when you're pretending to have sex with a hunka-hunka-burnin'-love!

Edward slid down my body, positioning himself between my legs, poised as if he were about to enter me. I was struggling to maintain some semblance of composure as the warmth from his body heat registered between my legs. Before I had fully gotten a hold of myself, his head dropped to my ear unexpectedly ... he whispered too softly for anyone but me to hear. "You are so fucking beautiful, Bella."

Oh. My. God.

... he was - "acting." But he'd said my name. Edward Masen had said I was beautiful.

We were acting, weren't we?

A moment later he thrust forward, pressing his thumb hard into my hipbone, signaling me that it was time to react. But I didn't need the signal to trigger the look—the moan—that escaped my lips as Edward's body pitched forward into mine.

And I know you want me to go on, and on... and on, but trust me, you really don't. You want to read this for yourself. You won't be disappointed. My only warning to you is that you might want to move hard furniture (or your Marvin the Martian scuplture) away from where you are when you read this. Or already be sitting on the floor. ...And make sure your medical insurance is up to date.... and if you happen to be on any kind of prescription, check with your pharmacist if accelerated heart-rate and wet panties could have adverse affects when used in combination with this story.

I'll just add one final observation.

I love the double-meaning in the title. ON the Double. heh heh... pervs.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Get To Know booboo kitty

Hidey ho little pervs, booboo kitty is in the hizouse!

So, this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you a little bit about myself right?  Well let’s see…I enjoy large balls of yarn, patches of sunlight to nap in, tuna, saucers of cream, snuggles and chin scratches.  I also love rainbows, things that sparkle, and a healthy dose of smut.

My skills include (but are not limited to) smut writing, clawing up furniture, being a ninja, lol cat speak, pinching gkkstitch in the bum, drooling magic juice on kimpy, motor boating einfach_mich’s boobs and hacking up the occasional hairball on demand when I’m pissed.

Seriously though, I started my journey here in the fandom on Twilighted where a wonderful, wonderful admin took me under her wing and showed me the ways of punctuation where it pertains to quotation marks, the lovely vjgm.  She has been so generous with her time and her wisdom and I am forever grateful. 

What do I write?  In addition to 7 or so lemony one shots (3 canon-esque, 3 all human & 1 crackfic) and a short 4 chapter fic (canon-esque), I have written 3 full length fics (1 canon-esque, 1 alternate universe and 1 all human) and I’m currently working on an all human fic that is 11 chapters in.  My canon-esque is pretty dang canon, but my all human fics tend to be a little outside the box.  That’s what my beta says anyway.  You can find everything on both Twilighted: and

I’d also like to thank the wonderful ladies of The Shack, Miss Bethie, Miss Emmy, Miss Hopey, Miss Jeanne, Miss Kim & Miss Nina, for letting this little kitty come in and play!  I promise to do my bestest to not shed on the lovely furniture here in The Shack and to motor boat each and every one of you because I do love the boobies.

eli-21 poses for Caravaggio




Caravaggio is one of those fics that when you read the summary you think “I’m in!”

Bella's parents have commissioned a painting to be done of her. She is in for a shock when that artist is a man named Edward Cullen. He's too smooth and too good looking. It's not long before Bella is taking her clothes off for him.

Exactly. You would think this is the typical artist-model story, except that it’s not.

Bella is a seventeen-year-old student, and her parents—especially her mother—are people who like to show off and imitate their neighbors, so they decide to make their daughter pose for a portrait that will be shown the day of her eighteenth birthday. She despises the idea, but when she finally receives the painter at her house, she changes her mind.

Because how can you refuse a sexy, James Dean-y, young artist who wants to have you pose nude for a painting?

The writing is impeccable, in my opinion. Throughout the first few interactions between Bella and Edward, we can see that there’s definitely a connection, and one of the best lemons I’ve ever read happens when he’s painting her nude, on her bed (it was nominated for a Golden Lemon).

We don’t know what’s going through Edward’s mind in Chapter 9, because the whole story is written in Bella’s POV, and we only see her version of Edward, but that’s enough to get the reader into the scene. At this point, Bella and Edward have already been intimate, but he’s reluctant to having a romantic relationship.
It’s no surprise that she feels insecure when she arrives at his apartment and there’s a naked woman posing for him. He sets things clear and lets her decide.

"If you want to stick around and have some fun with me, Bella, then stay, but that's all I can offer you. Staying in bed all day, making you scream my name until your voice is hoarse. That, I can do, but the rest… the rest is off limits."

Well if you put it that way…

She stays. And when he demands…

"I said, tell me what you want me to do to you. In detail. We said we were going to spend the whole day in my bed, so where do you want to start?"

She obliges.

"I want you to touch me. Everywhere. I want you to use your hand to make me come."

And when he insists…

"And after I make you come, Bella, what should I do then? We have all night, remember?" he said, again taking a step closer to me. I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to.

"Then I want you to let me taste you again," I said, gaining a little confidence.

"I want to go down on you until you scream my name."

That’s what I was talking about.

Of course, they quickly are naked and laying in bed, and soon her wishes come true; his hands impregnated in massage oil are touching her everywhere.

"I don't really like massages," I said, shaking my head even as Edward grabbed me to roll me on my stomach.

"You will like this massage, Bella. Trust me."

And I did trust him. For whatever reason, I was putting my faith in this man's hands.

I felt cool liquid dribble on my back for a moment before I felt his hands on me. Side by side, they nearly covered the entire expanse of my back. Ever so slowly, I felt his hands begin to move, up and around, making small circles and kneading gently into my back tissue. As his hands moved over my shoulder blade, pressing gently into them, I moaned.

But this is only the beginning. With a few words, meimei42 makes it clear: Bella is horny. And Edward hasn’t touched her there yet! He tortures her in the best of ways until he makes her roll over and starts the massaging process all over again.

When Edward finally seemed ready, he gently rubbed me right where I needed to be touched. My hips bucked into his hand, and he obliged me by sliding two fingers inside. I hissed and threw my head back into the pillow. "Edward," I begged. He smiled, and began to move his hand, rubbing his thumb across my apex to drive me even wilder.

Is it me or it’s gotten really hot in here? Wait, he has more to say.

"You didn't say my mouth though," he mused as his assault continued. "I wonder why that is."

Yes, me too. However, she wanted one more thing, remember? After the first earth-shattering climax, it’s her turn to give.

When I came down, I could see the amused smile on his face and, not even giving myself time to recuperate, I sat up and shoved him back on the bed, straddling him before he could stop me.

"Feisty," he whispered.

"You have no idea." I grabbed at the button and zipper of his jeans and undid them. I couldn't have drawn this out if I tried, still too wound up over the delicious torture he had just inflicted on me. Once I had that undone, I moved to slid off him so I could get his pants down, but Edward stopped me.

He’s an artist, creative by nature, so he decides to give a twist to the position.

"Just turn around," he said, "face the other way."


"Just do it," he urged.

I gave him a dirty look for ordering me around, but did as he said, turning to face the other way so I was hovering above his chest.

See, the wonderful thing about the authors who write in one single POV is that we can’t know exactly what the other character is thinking, but we can sense their intentions, even when the main character has no idea.

I pushed the fact that I was practically sitting on his face aside, and focused my attention on him. I reached out to touch him again and he hissed once more, but I didn't let go this time. Instead, I leaned forward more and slowly snaked my tongue out between my lips to get a taste of him.
As I did, I felt Edward's lips press into my upper thigh, dangerously close to my center. I gasped and sat up a little.

"Relax," he coaxed, his hands rubbing up and down my backside.

"What are you doing?"

"It's called sixty-nining," he explained.

Sixty-nine. I'd heard that number before from classmates. Joking around when it was in people's phone numbers or they hit that question number on a test. I hadn't really gotten it, except I knew it signified sex in some way. Picturing the number in my head and the position I was in now, I suddenly understood.

"Okay," I said, leaning forward again. I darted my tongue out against his length and Edward did the same to me, sending shivers down my body. So this was the game we were playing. It was on. I took Edward in my mouth, and the moment I did, I felt his on me with full force. I nearly had to release him; the need to cry out was so bad. I didn't though, refusing to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I threw myself into giving him the best blow job I could. It was hard to concentrate when he was doing these things to my body, but it had to be hard for him, too. With that in mind, I plunged him as far down my throat as I could without gagging and nearly pumped my fist in the air with triumph when he had to stop what he was doing to me for a moment to call out my name.

Amazing. The author is switching the roles now, bringing us a girl-woman who feels powerful giving pleasure to her lover, in contrast to the previous massage scene, when he took the lead.

I think that was when he realized that this was a challenge, and redoubled his efforts. His tongue dove into me and I screamed out, not expecting it to feel so good. He seemed to realize that was a hot spot for me, and soon I could barely hold myself up as he assaulted it over and over with his tongue until I was panting his name and quivering with need. I was on the cusp when his mouth shifted and lashed out against my clit, sending me into overdrive.

My legs shook as I came, and I nearly collapsed on top of him.

"You win," I breathed out, exhausted.

GAH. He always does, doesn’t he? *grin*

I think that the fact that she compares the sixty-nine position to a contest to see who has better oral skills makes the scene less mechanic and more interesting.

Great job.

There’s more to it, but I’ll leave you to discover for yourself. Go read Caravaggio if you haven’t already and send meimei42 some love. NOW!