Saturday, August 29, 2009

Love Through Lemons Winner Announcement

WINNER - Never Think by ilsuocantante
Written for Love Through Lemons contest. When Bella thinks Edward is attracted to another woman, how can he show her she is all he wants? AH/OOC. Lemony goodness.
Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,963 - Reviews: 45

2ND PLACE - To Get Back Home by LaViePastiche
After a difficult breakup leaves Bella a shell of herself, her best friend helps her find her way back. One-shot. My entry for the Love Through Lemons contest. AU/AH Rated M for...lemon, duh.
Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,342 - Reviews: 71

3RD PLACE Oh, Inverted World: What Would Edward Do? by DeviKalika
My entry for the Love Through Lemons contest hosted by LolaShoes and tby789. Outtake from my story Oh, Inverted World. Rated M for language and adult content.

Complete - Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,427 - Reviews: 34

HOSTS MENTION - Simple by SubtlePen reviews
When you’re too broken to acknowledge you have a heart, what do you do when it starts beating? AU/AH

Complete - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,006 - Reviews: 49

A special thank you to our judges:

Friday, August 28, 2009

Reality Minus Expectations by mjinaspen

This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: Reality Minus Expectations
Author: Mjinaspen
Chapters: 16
Words: 79,576
Reviews: 593
Summary: AH. After deciding to dissolve their failed marriages, Bella and Edward learn that happiness equals reality minus expectations.

Guest Reviewer- swill122

It was love at first type between my girl MJ and me. I saw her beautiful Faith the Vampire Slayer avatar from across the crowded TS thread, and I was enamored. We came, we saw, we snarked. It was an easy affair. It wasn’t long into our little online Boston marriage that we discovered we had identical brains.

And then she sent me the first chapter of this fic she wanted to write, asking for my opinion. It was then that I knew we didn’t share a brain. She had my brain, sure, plus 8 bajillion more comedy-capable neurons. I laughed, I cried (OK, I didn’t cry, but I know people who did!), I wished for some Edward peen in my life…

Edward (early-thirties) and Bella (late-twenties) have both realized that their respective marriages suck. Bella’s hubby Jake is stifling, never allowing her to be the adult she is. Edward’s wife Tanya is forever stuck in his best-friend zone, despite the two having a child together. These pairs are couples that should work, that everyone expects to work, but they just don’t. Bella is missing the ardor and passion she craves:

“I can make myself come in about two and a half minutes… So, it’s not like it’s hard or especially noteworthy. What I want is the elusive connection, the intensity, the passion… I’m just… lonely? It’s like I spent all that time with Jacob waiting for us to be… more. And it never happened.”
Edward and Tanya are missing commitment. Not to each other, but to themselves. They’ve settled for one another, rather than committing to finding what’s best for themselves:

Tanya and I married when she was six months pregnant. We weren’t in love, but we thought with a marriage and a child, we could build love. We were wrong. I was pretending I didn’t care that I had dedicated my life to a woman I would never love as more than a friend. Of course I cared.
For a change of scenery and a new start in real estate development, Edward moves his law practice to Aspen, where he collides with Bella, and they find the explosive passion for which they were both searching…

And that’s all I’m going to tell you about the main plot. I don’t want to spoil anything for you. Like chapter 5.

What I will tell you are the three reasons you should be reading this particular gem. We’ve all got innumerable fics on our “to be read” lists, why does this one deserve a bump to the top?

The boot, the bat, and the bastinado.

[Robin Wood lovers rejoice.]

No, seriously. The three reasons you should read are: the details, the characters, and the sex.

1. The Details

When I read fiction of any kind, I tend to get lost completely. I’ve been known to sit literally for hours reading, without food, toilet breaks, or sleep. If something is written well, with detail that makes me believe in what’s happening, I can’t help myself. I devour. I read the entire Saga over a 72-hour period the first time around. I can finish the first two Harry Potter books in a single Sunday afternoon if I’m bored. So when I come across fic that manages to incorporate the kind of details that make me believe, make me want to just lose myself entirely in another world, I have to do just that.

Bella doesn’t live in some posh two-bedroom apartment immediately out of a divorce; she lives in a studio apartment and has to fold up a futon every morning to make room to walk. Her shower stall is elbow-wide. She volunteers at her local animal shelter by walking a Rottie/Shep mix. Jake farts during sex. Edward’s daughter likes cupcakes and has a stuffed pig named Mr. Gordo [snort]. Bella has an addiction to Fiji water. Edward was in a punk band in college. He still wears his wedding ring. And everyone drinks like fish.

We all want to escape real life by reading, and some people do it by reading fic where Edward has a 10-inch schlong and his junk juice tastes like sugar syrup and Bella is a famous model and nothing resembles reality. In the words of MJ’s Rosalie,

“That’s why romance novels sell. Impractical, desperate women read that shit and dream that one day they will meet their Prince Charming and live Happily EverAfter. Pure. Fiction.”
For me, I usually prefer a writer who can create believable people and situations in this world. I’d much rather a story feels real, and the characters seem like they could be my best friends. I’d rather relate. That’s what MJ’s done with this—she’s managed to help me draw a picture in my mind of these people and their lives by giving me the details and description necessary to feel like a part of her world.

2. The Characters

Because the characters from the original series were viewed largely from a single unreliable perspective (Bella’s), it’s easy to create caricatures rather than characters in fan fiction. One of the things I love so much about this story is that characters we’re so used to dismissing quickly force us to give them a second chance. As much as readers are used to hating Tanya or Jake (or even Edward or Bella sometimes), it’s simply impossible to hate anyone in this story. MJ’s created characters that are three-dimensional and multi-layered. Each character has flaws and strengths that play into their individual storylines.

Jake doesn’t always think through his words, but he genuinely tries to give Bella the support she needs when he realizes what he’s said and done wrong. In the words of one reviewer (reigny):
“Heck, I'll even admit that I like Jake (and srsly, who ever likes Jake in fanfic when there's Edward, right? RIGHT!)”
Tanya pushed Edward into marriage and family, but she does her best to let him go without a fight when she realizes the mistake they made. Again, reigny rails:
“I'm totally shaking my fist at you, woman! How DARE you make me like Tanya too? I find myself feeling compassion for this blonde minx.”
ScarlettLetters writes:
“I hope Tanya finds some happiness too. I hope she sets pool boy aside and looks for something real.”
Rosalie may be quick to judge Edward, but she’s even quicker to help Bella and Edward get past a miscommunication when she sees how wrong she was. Reviewer CullenCoven agrees:
“Wow, when you have Rose as an ally, you're in a good place.”
PurdueLiz sees Rosalie’s actions as particularly selfless, under the circumstances:
“I love th[at] Rose came on Bella's behalf even though Edward probably brings up a lot of bad memories for her.”
Edward settled for an open marriage rather than love, but when he finds it, he’s committed. Ericastwilight gets Edward in one sentence:
“Edward is both very selfless and selfish. It takes a lot to walk away to want to make a better and happy life for yourself.”
Bella has trouble opening up to Edward and sharing her feelings like she shares her body, but she makes an effort as time passes. ThisColony says it best:
“[E]ven in one chapter you've managed to give a very clear impression of Bella. She's a great balance of snarky and laid-back, with that undercurrent of vulnerability. It's a sort of ‘I've accepted that I am jaded, yes. But...well, whatever.’ But she still wants more; there's still a sense of loss.”
Every single character in this story is on a journey, and as a reader, you can’t help but root for every single one of them to get his or her happily ending.

3. The Sex

So, we’ve all read plenty of smut at this point. More than we’d want our mothers to know about, anyway. I don’t know about you all, but lately I find myself skimming most citrus because I feel like I’ve read it all. Times over. Something about these lemons, though, evokes a serious visceral response that just isn’t easy to explain. I can’t get enough of the mono- and disyllabic commands that come out of Edward’s mouth. Not to mention the recurrence of “Good girl.” Guh…

Some citrus highlights the lustful connection they share:
Licking long and slow from bottom to top, he takes my clit between his lips as he eases one long slender finger into me.

“Ung,” I am waaaay beyond poised, fucking muttering nonsense.

One finger, then two in a slow steady rhythm. He sucks hard on my clit, curls his fingers, and scratches an itch I didn’t know I had.
“Bella…” Edward’s voice is raspy, and he sounds like he’s out of breath. “I’m coming. Are you gonna swallow?”

One finger circling my clit, teeth in my thigh, cock in my throat.

Fuck yes.

I hum around him, relax my throat, take him deeper. He hooks two fingers inside me and bursts down my throat. I swallow it all. Barely. It’s a little bit gross and a lot sexy.
Other citrusy bits highlight the emotional bond they’re forming:
I can feel every inch of him, slow and hard as he touches me inside and out. He whispers my name, kisses my lips, and he owns me – body and soul. When he tells me to come for him, I don’t hesitate. I cry out and clench his hips between my thighs. I hear my name in his voice… I feel like crying.
He gently covers my body with his, enters me, reaches under the pillow and our fingers are entwined. His knees are holding me wide, elbows holding him up, hands holding mine. We are one body, twisting, moaning, sliding in tandem. Teeth grazing my neck, collarbone, shoulders… Biting, sucking, licking.

“Come, baby,” he mutters, hot and low. “Come.”
All the while, neither MJ nor Bella take it all too seriously. Sometimes, sex is funny:
The word “sheath” comes to mind as I roll the condom down his cock, and I giggle a little bit. I hate that word, but it seems to go hand-in-hand with condoms and the use thereof. I shake my head and hope that I can have that ‘thick piece of man-meat’ ‘sheathed’ inside my ‘womanhood’ soon.

The sex is real, instinctive, and in the words of RedVelvetHeaven, “fuckall fucking hot!”

This is the perfect time to start reading, if you haven’t already. You can enjoy the lemon freshness (in the words of cristynd, “a whole grove of citrusy yumminess”), but there’s still plenty of story to come. Why is Embry hiding the debt he owes Edward? How will Bella react to Edward’s daughter Delia? How will Tanya find her way out of her destructive depression? Does Jake get his happy ending with Leah? And will Bella and Edward finally get their act together?

Go forth and read. Don’t forget to have extra batteries or a willing partner handy.

Em- I really enjoyed this weeks story and I am now stalking my email for an alert that a new chapter has been posted. What I really like about this story is that is seems fresh and different from so much that is out there.

Set in Aspen it brings a different dimension to the usual Seattle or Chicago settings. I like that E/B are both older and have life experiences behind them. Both of them trying to find a new way after failed marriages. Bella is a strong and accomplished woman but still has those insecurities that us women get when it comes to new relationships, she has a strong circle of friends and I enjoy her friendship with Johnny and Xander; but then who would not want them as friends? Her relationship with Jake and Leah for that matter is complicated and messy but that is life and it feels real.

The pacing and the changing POV's work well and I feel like we are getting to know the characters well and letting them tell us their story. I guess what I am trying to say is that is just flows well.

Now for the smut. Holy fuck that first hook up had me squirming in my seat at the dentist office as I was reading on my phone. So yeah I enjoyed it but wish I could have read it in private. We have sexy DILFward, Dirty Talking Edward, Sexting Edward, Phone Sex Edward and of course Shower Sex Edward all interlaced with a compelling story. Go read and enjoy! 4.5/5

Emmy- I got such a pleasant surprise reading this story... You know how many stories in the fandom are starting to merge into one in my mind? How many stories, no matter how daring the sex is, how rough and randy the characters are - it just doesn't set you ablaze or make you give a flying fuck as to what happens? Well RME really piqued me on so many levels. Really grabbed me by the short & curlies and made me care... (its one of the reasons I love my bitches and this blog.. - the ALWAYS share the good stuff)

I really shouldn't do my recc after the others - as I feel I am repeating what they say! But my goodness CHAPTER FUCKING FIVE PEOPLE! Give this girl a fucking award already! FOR THE LOVE OF SMUT! But also for the love of good writing... No flabby plotlines, or pointless twisting here. Its just brilliant. I also love chapter 10 - its not as raw and explicit - but it means so much - as their honesty has been revealed and they both know the reality of the other....

I also love her array of POV's - whether it be Edward, Bella, Tanya or Jake it rings true and resonates and I feel as though I am lodged in their mind, body and soul - that's not easy to pull off. Particularly for me to read a and appreciate a JPOV - as I generally dislike the shite out of Jake.. (Wingman by nina is one of the few others where I don't want to skin him alive and turn his bollocks into a chandelier)..

I also love the gradual unfolding of this story, the setting up of future chapters and ideas - no ridiculous body swerves and cheap shock value tactics are employed here. Just wonderful writing and characterisations. Real characters, flawed characters, misunderstood, making mistakes, making amends, discovering their way characters that come to live off the screen. Dear god, amazing, amazing smut! Tingly, warming, breath gasping, where the fuck is the git as I need to really get some, lemonade abounds in RME.

I actually feel a bit of a dipshite, it really should not have taken me so long to read this story. I think I need the full list of what Kathy Beta's and read the fuck out of them all - as I have not come across a Kathy beta'd story I do not LOVE! So read it! Do not miss out, do not pass go, just go directly to RME and enjoy! 4.5 (I am hanging on for the butt secks) red silky knickers (as we all know red is Aspenward's colour) out of 5...

Hope-Every girl needs to be ‘Chapter Fived’ at some point in her life, just saying. I’d heard about this fic on twitter and my chica Kath beta’s this bitch so I put it on my list. Let’s just say I devoured the first 13 chapters in a few hours. And Oh. My. Fucking. God! The smut is fuckhot and I’ll get to that in a little bit, but what I really love is that the chara’s talk and act like real fucking people. They aren’t overly verbose or trying to be something they aren’t. They’re frank and forthcoming and have real fears and anxieties and deal with it in real fucking ways.

Bella is slightly quirky, she knows herself in and out even if she doesn’t recognize that fact. Edward knows his faults and past mistakes. He isn’t perfect but always tries to always do the right things. Both have past marriages that left them unsatisfied and in each other find the thing that was missing. There’s the usual beginning of relationship ‘What exactly are we doing? Is this only fucking?’ fears, but it’s not overdone or overly dramatic. Like I said earlier it’s real.

Now the mother fucking smut! Again, Oh. My. Fucking. God. It’s srsly fucking hot. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s not overly graphic; MJ writes the schmexing in a way that you know what’s going on without all the gritty details. There’s a good balance between the physical and the emotional. I like that pov changes in the middle, it gives a glimpse into both minds without being repetitive. And the smut never gets old or boring, it’s new and intense every fucking encounter. Phone Sex, floor sex, impromptu 69’s, patio sex, head under the pillow morning sex, etc… you get the idea. 4.5/5 from moi!

Jo- I'm ridiculously late! So what's new? I JUST finished pouring out 16 reviews to the lovely mjinaspen, and since Nina (and everyone) is so VERY VERY correct regarding Chapter Five... thought I'd share my review for it with you all (it explains where my head - and my hoo-hah - were at during the time):
&&$($)!@&@$#*&%)$_^)%$*_)~&@!*#%$@^#$()%@(*$(#)!&^)#$~!@(^%$#^%&)(#$#@(RUHJC$F%RT&N$#?V(T&FF#*MR@##XNNR$CW*TUX*F($#MT%U*(D#$VTC%MUTD*(%$&^ N%(V%#*D&M$X(Y&$*($#&TM% (T%#*CU(#EMR(Q)R%&C*!#*(M#($CM*(

Sorry... that... is all... I'm capable... of... right... now....


NOTE TO SELF: Get Chapter 5'd more often. kthxbai.

FUCK and YES. You'll find no overstatements here regarding the fucktacular hotness that is Chapter Five, but that is by NO MEANS the only hotness in this fic. She just keeps bringing it, and I love her for it!
In addition to the panty wetting hotness, one of the things I LOVE about this fic are the unique, interesting, and well written character portrayals. She's taken so many of our favorite characters and not only held true to their original traits, but made them HER OWN. She's made me sympathize with Tanya, and actually LIKE Jake. I can't do proper justice to her writing here... all I can say is GO READ THIS BITCH! DO IT! Chapter five alone get's all 5 pairs of my panties, I've had to break out extras for the rest of the story. (Oh, and pssst... I'm with Nina on the buttsecksin! Bring it babes, we're all beggin' for it!)

Kathy- Full disclosure: I beta for this story, so my opinion is NOT unbiased. That said, of course I love this fic. MJ brings us a delightful romp with Edward and Bella that starts out with them on two different paths. Bella is getting a divorce from Jake, Edward has decided to finally stop pretending with Tanya, and things progress for them after they meet in a bar. However, one of my favorite chapters is before the infamous E/B hookup - chapter 3. We see a flashback to a moment with Edward and Tanya and it gives so much insight into who they both are, why they are the way they are. It is a wonderful peek into their personalities and hearts, I think. Now, okay, chapter 5 is gloriously hot, as has been well established by everyone else in the review. I love the canon parallel in chapter 6, when he notices she's bruised, post-smexin'.

One of the things I like best about this story (aside from the smut), is the way the characters feel real in my head. Their reactions, their words, these things ring true for me. This story easily earns its 4.5 panties. Unlike the rest of the hoors that want backdoor sex, I'm not really anxious for that - these two kids are having fun getting to know each other and love each other, DILFward is about to have his kid come into town for an extended period, I'm sure the tension is going to ratchet up a bit. They'll get to the anal when/if they get to it, and I won't be one bit disappointed if MJ never goes there (*hides from everyone else*) - I'll re-read chapter 5.

Nina- So, one day Kassiah tweets, "Holy shit, RME updated!" I didn't know what RME was and because I'm me, I forgot about it. Then Kathy retweets it and I remembered to ask her twat it was. She sent me the link and then I proceeded to die.

I have four words and four words only that easily explains this story.

"I've been Chapter Fived"

Fuck me sideways ladies, I read a lot of smut, I mean a lot. A-fucking-lot. In reading so much smut, you sometimes get desensitized to some of it. Chapter five alone, nearly killed me, in the very best way possible. There was no desensitizing, if anything all my senses were going apeshit.

It's not just Chapter Five though (although I've read it 3 times), it's the whole story. You've heard me fucking drone on and on about enjoying 'older' characters more than high schoolers. I also enjoy adult characters that have been married before, ones that aren't virgins and like to bone... a lot.

I agree with Stephie, the fact that it's in a new location was great. I love the fact that it's in Aspen. I don't know that I've read one set there before. The Edward/Tanya backstory is pure win. I love the twist (I won't spoil it).

All the supporting characters are well fleshed out and most are likeable (except Victoria that slut). Emmett and Rosalie are pissers. I really like the spin on Rose's backstory as well, and Edward's 'involvement' in it. The original characters are complete and total win, they're gay and wonderful. But really, let's get back to the smut.

I'll harp on chapter five again, just humor me.
“Good girl,” he smiles and grazes my hip with his teeth.

Hot breath on my skin, fingers working inside my panties and between my lips…

Edward rolls me onto my back and pulls my legs up over his shoulders. His rough fingers scrape my calves and my thighs.

“I don’t wanna come yet,” his voice is like gravel in my ear. “I’m gonna fuck you into the floor.”

Yes, please and thank you. Line forms to the left behind me.

4.5/5 because I'm a h00r and I want her to write buttsecks. Get on that. (That's what he said)

Steph- Doing my rec from vacation land. I had heard snippets about this, but was trying to avoid it, because I need another fic to read like I need a damn hole in my head. But I got it rec'd in an email and the bitches kept harping on it so I gave in cause I'm a hoor like that. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. No, really. Chapter 5 me please. Oh, fuck yes. I wish I could go into all the reasons I love this, but I've got limited (ie: stolen while the parentals and kidlets are asleep) computer time. So I will say, I fucking love this. Hard. Oh and I'm with Nina, we really need some buttsecksin. Please?? 4/5 from me :)

Stephie- I kept seeing tweets and emails in regards to this story and took the plunge. I'm glad I did. I mean, mjinaspen had me at Karmel Sutra ice cream by ben and jerrys. hehe, ok, so not really but I do love that stuff and ya know...anyway. What really drew me in was the strained relationship between Bella/Jacob and Edward/Tanya. Newly divorced, Jacob is still trying to help and solve Bella's problems, much to her annoyance. Edward and Tanya, well, their relationship was never what it seemed. Now they are having to deal with the aftermath of some unwise decisions.

What I love about this story: It's set in Aspen, which is so new and fresh. I've never read a story that took place there so I feel like I'm learning all about the atmosphere as I read. Johnny and Xander; probably my favorite gay couple to act in a supporting role. They give that added flourish of humor and advice that is much needed. Plus, when they first see Edward they're betting on whether or not he plays for the other team. hehe. Getting TPOV and JPOV provides insight into all the character motivations and actually makes you sympathize with the characters that are, at least most of the time, universally disliked.

And of course there's the sex. Um...yeah...yum. Their first sexual encounter (that sounds odd) is hot. I don't have any other words for it. And remember the stupid (at least IMO) "spider monkey" comment from the movie? Ok, remember what Edward says just before that? "You better hold on tight." Now just imagine that, when Edward and Bella are naked and...yeah. It just gets better from there too.

Besides, I think every time Edward calls Bella a "good girl," an angel gets its wings. No, that can't be right. More like, every time Edward says that, a fangirl loses her panties. 4/5 for me.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Emmy wants flowers & fairytales

I am a hopeless romantic and sappy twat.... Seriously, just ask any of my girls..
After a fairytale tryst away with The Git, I needed one-shots to keep that fluffy, happy sexy feeling alive...

First off I am reccing Paper Flower by einfach_mich, I first read her stuff through twitter (remember to follow us on @PPSSBlog or me on @ememmyem ) - but cripes is her stuff angsty - brilliantly, beautifully written with so much depth - but major angsty... We are talking non-canon and everything that my little wussperv heart cannot cope with.. So I read a couple of chapters, reviewed but informed her that my pathetic, shaky little heart couldn't cope....
So the darling that she is - einfach-mich wrote me a fluffy one-shot... AND let me tell you its as hot and trembly and W-O-W as her stamp-on-my-heart stuff.
I cannot rec Paper Heart enough... Bella is real - she is an older woman, and her body reveals this (control knickers Edward has to peel off her to get to the goods....?). Edward is a disheartened but professional "escort"... Is Bella's reality, honest body and heart enough to break through and unlock what both of them need...?
This is a beautiful tale - lovingly and painstakingly written and conveys so much emotion, passion and beauty it made me the happiest bunny!


“This couldn't have been comfortable.” He speaks in hot brushes of moist air and I can't speak. I swallow hard as I feel him move. His hair brushes my neck and chin, and I hitch my breath. The other strap is pulled away and his lips smooth over my sore shoulder. I sigh at the feel of his mouth on me. “Better, but not even close to done,” he mumbles, and I wonder if he's talking to me.

His fingers trace twin lines down each of my arms as he pulls at the straps. I feel them tug at the top and give way to his strength, flipping down the front of the built-in bra and allowing my breasts to slip free. Instinctively, I raise my hands to cover myself, but my arms are trapped. He makes a soft “tsk” sound as he holds the straps, using them to restrain me.

“Trust me.” His breath slides over my face and I gasp, realizing he's so close. Then his lips press against mine and I forget what I was trying to do.


So from flowers we move to fairy tales....The Baker's Magic Buns by CiaoBella27

My final selection is a story from the Once upon a Twilight story contest - (voting still open - go vote for your fave now!)

I love fairy tales...... so I ransacked this contest - this was MY pic of the pile.
Its funny, silly, clever and sexy.. I love how the author has cleverly twisted canon Bella's immunity to Edward's gift for this tale.... Dr Swan (counsellor to the folk of Storybook) is the only one who can resist the power of Edward's very very edible buns.... (for now).. Will she resist the flavoursome charms of his goods? Will he get the strength from his therapy to confront his fears and approach the woman who has captured his heart? :D

"Now, I will admit that his appearance had caused me to behave very unprofessionally and I had struggled to concentrate as he talked about his “baked goods”, but I was shocked by his admission. Was he that good?

“When you say ‘fall in love with you’, do they stalk you?” I probed.

“No, it wears off,” he explained. “But in the moment, it gets a little intense.”

“You need to be a little more specific, Edward, if you want me to help you. I know this is a little embarrassing.”

“Well, for instance, I’m very proud of my buns. They’ve won awards in a number of competitions,” he began, looking at me expectantly. I wanted to be supportive and he was clearly looking for me to respond.

“I don’t doubt it,” I replied nervously. I had already been caught staring, he shouldn’t be surprised that I agreed.

“If someone were to take a bite of one of my buns, the effect is almost instantaneous. Some women tear off their clothes, some try to tear off mine. At first, I’ll admit it was kind of enjoyable,” he added sheepishly. “But it’s gotten out of hand.”

“Well, Edward,” I began, confused, “what do you expect from these women? If you’re allowing them to bite your…buns…”

“It’s not just the buns,” he countered.... "

"“Edward,” she called. “Why don’t you come out? My cupboard is bare.”

“Edward!” called another voice. “I need someone to help me figure out if my bed is just right.”

When Old Mother Hubbard heard the girl’s voice, she stormed over enraged.

“Goldilocks, dear, I’m only going to warn you once,” she began. “Run along. Edward is in love with me.”

“You?” she asked incredulously. “You’re like a hundred. That’s totally gross. He wants someone young like me, who’s willing to taste his porridge.” I was pretty sure that I had enough food analogies to last a lifetime. I really needed to intervene...."

So go read - be happy, indulge yourself in your own fairytale fantasy or, better yet, two.. & do not forget to review these great stories and tell the gals I sent you!

Much love... :*

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Stephie rides the Gondolier (not really)

The Tong Master 4theluvofMary helps us get to know Gondolier author of the completely and totallyNOT WUSSPERV safe epically popular "Hydrolic Level 5"

questions for Gondolier:
from 4theluvofmary:
4tlom: Can you tell us all a little bit about yourself? A/S/L? Ok, so not really but how about just some basic info: where you're from, what you do, if you can take some time off to write more chapters of HL5...
Sure! I'm twenty-nine, born and raised in Iowa. I'm a writer by profession--I finished up my MA in Creative Writing in May, and now I'm working on building a freelance writing business. Before that, I was a PR bitch for a Fortune 500 company and hated corporate ladder climbing but did it anyway (sounds like a fanfic plot, doesn't it?). Then I decided I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life so I chucked it. Best feeling ever. Fortunately, hubby was and is very supportive of my career change. And I already devote WAY too much time to writing HL5 without burning myself out, sorry :)

4tlom: LOL. Maybe you can work that plotline in some future fic, hm? And damn. I mean, I don't want you to burn yourself out...I gotta stop being so selfish in my fangirl ways.

gondolier: Meh, I'm selfish and fangirly too. If I got to chat with AdorableCullens, I'd probably turn into a pile of mush and rattle on about how horribly angsty I was over Balticward's fate.

4tlom: When did you first read Twilight? And did you know right away that you may have a slightly unhealthy fixation on the book and/or characters, or did that come later?

I read Twilight around Halloween of last year, around the time the movie came out. I was dead-set on not reading them until I had several women whose opinions I respected tell me to give them a chance, despite my biases. So glad I did. I know the books aren't works of art, but I love exploring the characters (aka mooning over the Twilight boys) and what ifs.

4tlom: I put off reading it for quite awhile (though not nearly as long as you bro's wife's story of reading Twilight is very similar to yours). It's amazing what being 7 months pregnant and not having the desire to do much of anything in 100 degree heat will inspire you to do.
gondolier: something for me to look forward to in the next few years, woohoo

4tlom: What made you decide to take up writing fanfiction? Where did the idea for your story come from? The idea of, essentially, a story within a story is so fantastic, and I imagine hard to write.

I've been writing fanfic off and on for about five years. I do it because other than writers workshops and area groups, where else can I get instantaneous reader feedback? I LOVE that aspect of fanfiction--audience interaction, though it's gotten a lot harder for me to respond to everyone.
The idea for HL5... I was cleaning out some old mementos and ran across a series of letters that me and my first love wrote to each other over a summer just after high school. He was several years older than me, and we were attending college across country from each other. I started thinking how fun it would be to write a book together using those letters--tell a nostalgic story that so many women can probably relate to. Thus, the basis for HL5 was born. Of course, he's happily married now and so am I, and I'm still a little too chicken to ask his permission to use his letters for a book. But if I ever get the guts to do it, you can bet that will be my next non-fanfiction project.

4tlom: First of all, I think it is super sweet of you to take time out each update to thank everyone that rec'd out your story. It's nice knowing you still want to give back to your readers, when all we (I) want to do is take, take, take...hence my question about you just writing overtime. lol. Second of all, the letters, wow. That would be a fantastic read for sure; very consuming and interesting. I hope you ask him. Maybe he'll feel...flattered? honored? that you want to use them as inspiration for a writing project.

gondolier: we'll see. Maybe I'll pull an HL5ward and claim that "such and such is entirely and utterly fictional...sort of" :)

4tlom: Did you ever think HL5 would blow up to this epic proportion when you first started writing it?
I wasn't sure what would happen with HL5--I'm still not sure how big my audience is in comparison to other stories, because I don't get around too much in the fandom

4tlom: Believe me, you're story is pretty huge. Fangirls 'round the world weep like babies whenever you update. I know it's weird to have people breathing down your neck about your own story. I won't lie, my status is sometimes about HL5. There are so many theories that scare the ever living piss outta me.
It's really kind of embarrassing, how little I know about the fandom. When I had dinner with Smellyia in Nashville, she was rattling off authors and fics that I really didn't have any clue about. I need to get skooled, bigtime, on the in-progress fics.

4tlom: I think it's impossible to keep up. There are so many new authors coming out, and then there are the older more prolific ones you feel the need to catch up on
OH yes--it's pretty overwhelming. Mainly I focus on posting and chatting with my readers, because I want to make myself available for them. Then if I have time for other stories, I give them a read. When other authors read my story, I bump up their work on my "to-read" list to give them the same courtesy. And then there's my work with TLYDF--I love writing for that blog because I geek over creative writing.

4tlom: Speaking of TLYDF...ok, so this has nothing to do with TLYDF, but it made me think of other projects you are involved in. Can you tell us a little bit more about A Different Forest?
I'm not sure how much I can reveal at this time--and I don't know too much about it, other than a lot of hard work and collaborative effort has gone into it and it's going to be a great resource for Twi-fans. You can bet I'll be playing there, and I'm told I'll be put to work, heh.

4tlom: You gotta stop with these ambiguous answers, really. Can't I get a straight answer from you? I just wonder what will be it similar to a LJ group? Or some kind of blog? A whole new way to experience things doesn't clear things up. Though the video was really good. Maybe you can talk to the peeps for me?

Oh no, it's a website. It combines blogs, forums, all sorts of media from what I understand. And it should have launched by the time this interview goes up, so I guess people can go check it out for themselves.

4tlom: K, back to your writing. Can you walk me through a normal writing sesh? What kind of things do you have to do physically and mentally prepare?
I reread the last chapter so I can keep up the continuity. Then I pull my already-created chappy summary from my story map and decide how to tweek it. I outline. Then I shower and listen to my playlist to get all sorts of fresh ideas or nuances. I write for a couple of days straight (in between RL stuff), usually getting the dialogue and action down. I fill in thoughts, descriptions and background around that. Finally, I give the chapter "sparkle" rewrites to liven it up, and send it off for beta. And I'm always researching.

4tlom: And after the chapter is done, do you find yourself pretty emotionally attached? I mean, obviously some degree will be because it's your story. But do you find yourself suffering like Bella and/or Edward?
I try to separate fiction from reality. When I write, I have to get into all of the characters' heads--not just the narrator's. And sometimes that can be a rough place to be--especially for characters like Charlotte or Edward. So once I finish a chappy, I usually read someone else's fanfic or published fiction to make a break from my characters. It keeps me from getting burnt out, and also gives me a breather so I'm ready to dive in with the next chappy.

4tlom: Do you feel the need to decompress or anything after writing? With such an emotionally charged story, I can imagine the need is pretty strong.
Well, I make a point to balance the heavy stuff with humor. I think that's where a lot of the heartfail comes from for readers, actually--if HL5 was just straight angst and sadness, it would be desensitizing and frankly, kind of unrealistic. But life is typically a balance of joy, sadness, confusion, humor. I try to bring that to HL5.
4tlom: I do really enjoy that aspect of your story. There is a lot of angst, but there are those parts where I am laughing and smiling that pull me through. It does mirror RL. And I appreciate that.

4tlom: Is there a specific chapter/moment in HL5 that holds an extra special place in your heart?
I love the scene where Bella is remembering her wedding day to Edward--she doesn't think about the actual ceremony, but rather, him thanking her for allowing him to touch her dress. It's such a naive, innocent, happy time for the both of them. I also love the skydiving scene because, even though they are at odds, they still instinctively find joy in each other.

4tlom: Music and writing...I know you include specific songs for each chapter. How influential is your song selection in writing? And vice versa?
My best thinking time comes when I put on my playlist and either hop in the shower, take a jog, or grab a kayak and head out to the lake near our home. I have certain songs reserved for specific chapters, far in advance because they reflect what I'm wanting to convey. Other songs I pull at the last minute, simply because I enjoy them or they fit a scene. But it's no secret that I love music. I've been a pianist since I was four (one of the things that draws me to Edward), and am a classically-trained soprano. I love almost all genres, from opera to classic rock, to jazz, to indie. If a song has amazing lyrics, I'll loop it over and over. I must have listened to Hey Marseilles' Calabasas sixty times in the last few months because it's just all-around awesomeness (that's a song I'm saving for the Bumbershoot chapter). I'm also a HUGE fan of a song by Glasvegas called "Geraldine (I'm Your Social Worker)." But dammitall, I can't find a way to make it fit with a chapter.

4tlom: Can you give us an example playlist for writing? What about just a typical day to day playlist?
Sure! I'll just copy/paste a sample from my HL5 playlist--the one I use for writing. I'm really into the local music scene, both here and Denver (and now Seattle's), so I dig up a lot of obscure stuff, too, for my day-to-day playlist.

Bay Springs Road/ Charlie Mars
Bedroom and a Wall / The Wheel
Better Than Love / Griffin House
Blue and Gold Print / Mates of State
The Box / Johnny Flynn & The Sussex Wit
Burning Love / Elvis Presley
Calabasas / Hey Marseilles
Divide Me / Kalai
Eyes / Rogue Wave
Geraldine / Glasvegas
The Lark Ascending / Hilary Hahn, London Symphony Orchestra
Love You 'Till the End / The Pogues
More Than Life / Whitley
Opportunity to Cry / Priscilla Ahn
Perpetuum Mobile / Penguin Cafe Orchestra
Rio / Hey Marseilles
Rise / Eddie Vedder
The Road / Matt Costa
Say It Isn't So / The Outfield
She Drives Me Crazy / Fine Young Cannibals
Simple Man (Live) / Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sometime Around Midnight / The Airborne Toxic Event
Sweet Illusions / Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
Sweet Sweet Heart Killer / Say Hi To Your Mom
The Swimming Song / Vetiver
Tangerine / Led Zeppelin
White Winter Hymnal / Fleet Foxes
Wore Me Down / Rachel Yamagata
World Spins Madly On / The Weepies
5 Years Time / Noah and the Whale

4tlom: I'm definitely copying this list so I can go music hunting later.

from the readers:
What's her stance on HEAs?
I love them if they're right for the story. I think having a sad ending simply to make an audience emo is contrived and bad form. But the same goes for a happy ending, if it's contrived. I'm not afraid to write an unhappy ending if the story calls for it. I've also written happy endings, too. But honestly, if a story mimics real life, nothing is ever completely tied up with a big, red, Disney-ending bow.

Is Edward going to die?
Can't say, sorry. Someday? Unless Carlisle decides to change him, heh. A little AH humor.

Is Charlotte a paid whore?
It depends on how you look at what she does for a living :D

How many chapters are left in HL5?
I'm estimating there will be 35-40 chapters total. We're about halfway right now, so I think I'm on pace.

What does she plan to do next?
Hopefully I can get some of my books, short stories, anything published. I really need to devote more time to that. I'd like to go to Bumbershoot in Seattle next year. And I'm kicking around an idea for another Twilight fanfic, possibly vamping it up. I'm also considering maybe actually writing an original fiction similar to HL5 Edward's SCV series (minus the vamps). We'll see. So many possibilities.

I care, very much.

Why does she make me cry on a regular basis?
It makes my heart hurt when I have reviewers tell me I made them cry, or struck a chord with them. It's both flattering readers feel comfortable enough sharing their stories with me. It's also sad to know what some people have struggled with. But I try to tell an honest story.

When will Bella and Edward bone?
Gah, I can already tell you gals are going to hate my ambiguous non-answers.

Does she have any other Twilight ff planned after HL5 is done?
See above.

Has she or will she ever write any original fic set for publishing? 'Cause I would read that.
I have. My memoir novel about my time in Israel/Palestine is published through my university. I have my writing portfolio full of short stories and poetry that I'd like to publish. I also have an original fiction novel that I'm working on called Golden Ivy. I was initially writing it as a fanfic called "Golden Day", but it's too complex to publish chapter by chapter. It utilizes the onion structure that HL5 does, but it's set in the 1920s and requires lots of additional research. So that one's staying offline while I write it.

4tlom: Will you let us know when it is published? Then we can fangirl over you in RL too!
If I can get it published, sure! My sister works for a printing company that's launching a new print-on-demand diversification, and she's trying to talk me into using it. I suppose if I self-publish something, I can still shop my story around. It's a tough bitch, the publishing industry.

Can she ship out some Xanax or hard liquor with her next chapter? I'm always depressed but can't stop reading!
Sure, but don't use them simultaneously, please ;)

Does she think that people ever completly forgive? Or, do they just try to forget in order to move on?
Ooh, good question. Yes, I believe they do--I'm optimistic in that sense. There are things that are difficult to forget, sure. But really, forgiveness is as much for yourself as it is for the person who's wronged you. Forgiveness means letting go of that weighty hatred and bitterness, which only hurts you in the long run to carry around. Tougher to say than do, certainly. But I think it's possible.

EJSantry/Beth Sabatino
The emotions & histories of her characters are so complex. Does she believe there's a HEA for them, or just EA?
Hmmm, how to answer this. I'll give HL5 a fitting ending. Is that ambiguous enough?
4tlom: It is ambiguous. Ugh.
I warned you, woman.

questions for everyone:
Do you have any tattoos?
4tlom: yup, 2: have one on my bum and one on my ribcage. I want more. In fact, I'm currently planning my next one out. I'm slightly addicted to ink.
gondolier: yes. I have one on my foot (okay I know HL5 Bella has one on her foot, too. But honestly, that's not intended to be Mary Sueish. I tried to decide where this Bella would get her first tat, and it just made sense to have it on her foot--she wasn't exactly keen on getting it at first, but did it for a client). I'd like to get more, but I forced myself to quit after one.

Quick question to those who enjoy/write m/m slash...when did you first realize it was something that was a turn on? And did you ever feel the need to hide that it turned you on? -
4tlom: I do enjoy slash. A lot of it started thanks to BDB (black dagger brotherhood). In the series there is some reference to m/m lovin between two of my favorite characters(ok, so maybe not between them, but definitely concerning them). I'd never really read much m/m lovin before then. I don't want to go into it if you haven't read the series (but srsly, if you haven't, what's the deal?). Just know that it's hot and I found myself really really hoping something would happen. It didn't, damn it, but there's still a chance for others.
My husband thinks it's, to put it mildly, gross. He's slightly homophobic as is often the case with the jock type that he is. That's not to say he hates on anybody for who they love, he's just not at all turned on by m/m. It would be hard for him to understand the attraction when he thinks jizz is disgusting. But he does have his "gay" moments from time to time. And he would totally kill me right now if he knew I was sharing this. Now his take on g/g, that's another story...

gondolier: I've read some slash and if it's done well, is very moving, like any story. It's well-written, imo, if a writer delves into characterizations and helps a reader feel empathy, no matter their sexual preferences.

What is your favorite sexual position?
4tlom: There are so many to choose from. And contrary to what some may think, at least those who read PT, it's not Tongs. Use your imaginations here. I'm willing to try anything at least once. Though I'll say this: Piledriver is not for me. I'll leave that particular posish for certain people who shall remain nameless..ahem...

gondolier: Heh. I'm a bit of a control freak and very much dislike feeling trapped--it makes me hyperventilate. So I really love being on top :)

Favorite ff ever?
4tlom: Would it sound horribly fangirlish to admit HL5 is one of them? Bc it is. The angst, it kills me, but I love it so. Also, BEL is up there on the list (so I fangirl over AC's stuff too). I have a fond love for Only Human which was one of the first I read. Damn it, this question is too hard. I love so many.

gondolier: I love Rite of Passage and The Way Back. Behind Enemy Lines is another I could read over and over. Sanctuary, of course, and Changing Sides. And I have a soft spot for IEWIS for the friendship factor--so sweet. What You Thought You Knew. Abbracciare il Cantante.

4tlom: Oh, I forgot IEWIS. That was another one of my first fanfics read. I do love that story. AiC is also very good. As for the others...I am adding them to my list of "to read"

Hardest part about writing ff?
4tlom: Do I have to limit this to just one answer? I am an eternal procrastinator. That never helps. Plus I find myself distracted by the peeps on my gchat list, and now the newest "cool" thing to do: tweet all the live long day. The hardest is juggling the RL demands with the ff ones. My family will always take top priority. And seeing how I have a mini approaching the terrible twos, she pretty much demands ALL of my attention. Plus the hubs is almost as bad as a toddler, so...Work is another obstacle for writing. As much as I wish I could work on my stories while there, I would hate to give someone Cialis instead of Celexa because I was distracted...though if he was male maybe that would help him more than the antidepressant. I digresss. I hate to admit this, but negative reviews also greatly hinder my writing. I know it's just ff and that it's not really important in the grand scheme of things, but *news flash* I'm (not so) secretly a big softie. Constructive criticism is always welcome, trust me I need that, but there's a difference between helping and hurting. Just sayin.

gondolier: One of the hardest things has been getting these heartbreaking reviews and PMs from readers begging me to tell them if HL5 has a happy ending or not. I get where they are coming from--I'm the type that will skip to the end of a book to know where a story is going so I can be prepared for it. But I'm really trying to not give much away with HL5 to keep the mystery and suspense of the story alive.

4tlom: I used to do that...skip to the last page and read it. I've learned to be patient. So as much as it kills me...I'm going to "patienty" wait for the ending. That's the hardest part of reading fanfiction.

Do people in RL know you do it?
4tlom: NO. No. No. I'd like to say it doesn't embarrass me that I essentially write word porn based off a teen book series written by a mormon SAHM (at least I think she's a SAHM for the most part), but that would be a lie. My friends/coworkers know I like Twilight just a *little* too much, but they don't know the full extent. I'd like to keep it that way, TYVM.

gondolier: Yes. Hubby does, as well as my mother and sister. I also have a couple of close friends who know--two of which I actually met while writing my first fanfic, who became RL friends. It's kind of hard not to say anything when I run into an acquaintance who might be reading HL5--I discovered that a Facebook friend is a new fan of Hey Marseilles. I asked her how she found the band and she was very ambiguous about it, so it made me wonder. That's why we need a secret handshake or something, dammit!

4tlom: Secret handshake? Hmm...interesting...

If I looked under your bed right now what would I find?
4theluvofmary: Hmm. Too much shit that's for sure. Stray socks, notebooks filled with stories/random musing by me, some of mini's toys, and a kitty bed that my fat cat doesn't use (he uses my pillow instead)

gondolier: socks, a box filled with winter mittens, hats, and scares, and a crate of old photos.

4tlom: I went and peeked under my bed for more investigating. I found a HS yearbook, from my freshman year. WTF? How did it get under there?

For those of you that use "toys," which is your favorite?
4tlom: Again with the limiting...Idk. I like my rabbit. I also finally got a Hitachi thanks to some PPers rants and raves. That thing *is* magical. I totally missed the Barney boat when Beks got that discount. FML.
gondolier: I can't reveal this until you at least buy me a couple of drinks, and maybe dinner. Let's get the first date out of the way, shall we? :D

4tlom: If I buy you dinner and drinks will you tell me the ending of HL5? Because I'd rather know that info anyway.
If you get some liquor into me, you might find out a lot of things.
4tlom: *runs to liquor store*

If they could be in a relationship...would it be the same characters that you'd want to bone, or is there someone else they find more relationship worthy?
4tlom: mean in ff or just Twilight in general? I'm gonna go for ff characters...hmmmm to bone? it would be Balticward. Idk if I could handle a relationship with him bc He's just a little too hot headed for me. But he is very, very sexy and also very, very boneable. The character I'd want to be in a relationship with would be...huh...can't I just bone them all instead? I'll leave the relationship for the hubs. I just want my cake and eat it too. Nothing wrong with that, right?
gondolier: gonna have to echo everything that 4theluvofmary said, and add Priestward to the mix. That man...

4tlom: Priestward? Ooh. That's Sanctuary right? I hope...I'm a bit fictarded sometimes. I'm bumping that up towards the top then.
Yes, that's Sanctuary. Interesting story there--JFly wanted some assistance betaing for plot points, and so did I. So Emibella hooked us up. I made an offer to JFly that she couldn't refuse--if she betaed for me, she'd know how HL5 ended. And of course, I really wanted to know how Sanc ended. So now she's stuck, meeheehee.

Do you currently have more than 1 sex partner?
4tlom: Nope. Just the one. Hubs is more than enough for me.
gondolier: Hubby is mah man. And let me tell you, you think R-Patz has sexy hair? Hubby has the same look--messy/polished/bouffantish--going, except his hair is strawberry blonde. Gah, so shiny and thick and handsome. *swoon*

4tlom: You shouldn't tease. Now I want to see a picture! Is he constantly running his hands through it too?
gondolier: He's so damn protective of his hair. I'm always trying to mess it up and he swats my hand away, the jerk :(

Friday, August 21, 2009

Same Time Next Year by socat

This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: Same Time Next Year
Author: socat
Chapters: 21(complete)
Words: 76,278
Reviews: 489
Summary: Edward and Bella meet year after year, same place and time, escaping from their lives and the people in it. What happens as the years go by? Will something come between them, bringing their ritual to an end? A/H, OOC

Guest Reviewer - Ironic Twist

Same Time Next Year
is the story that convinced my husband I have an online boyfriend. He was on vacation and couldn’t understand my desire to stay glued to the computer screen when I could be glued to him instead. What can I say? If I find the draw of a good story magical how can I resist the pull of one that leaves good so far behind that the details stick with me through my (shortened) night’s sleep and wake with me in the morning?

Same time Next Year is this kind of story. And, as with many amazing stories, STNY starts with a simple premise with which everyone is familiar –

Boy meets girl.

Boy loses girl.

Boy finds girl again… and again… and again… and – well, you get the picture.

Author, socact, takes the age old paradigm and turns it on its ear in delightful tale that will heat you up, make you laugh and induce enough heartfail to keep you crying through the night.

She begins her story by apologizing to the reader. “The idea isn’t original,” she tells us. She worries that we’ll find the concept “dumb.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Even readers who are familiar with the stage or screen version of Same Time Next Year will delight in this adaptation which starts at the end and ends in a way that will have you immediately wanting to reread.

Current day (and I don’t mean this in a metaphorical sense, the first day of the story is August 13, 2009) Edward Cullen is your typical high school senior: angsty, bored, itching to escape the “doormats” of high school. He doesn’t see how his life can begin until he escapes the “shitty, claustrophobic hell hole” that is Forks. He’s too aware of the relationships between his friends, the already paired up Emmett and Rosalie and the awkward singles, Jasper and Alice. The freakishly insightful Jasper has a plan for the Senior Class Trip (also known as “the fuckfest”) to Vancouver Island. He’s hoping that a little game of musical bedrooms will allow him the opportunity to finally seal the deal with the willing but undeclared Alice.

Key to this plan, of course, is Bella Swan. Bella is the new girl and Alice’s assigned roommate for the weekend. From the moment Bella steps onto the bus, tripping on the top step to faceplant in the aisle, Edward is captivated, “…this girl was fucking magnetic. She had some kind of freaky power over me and it was starting to piss me off.” Ever the rebel, Edward wants to ignore the new girl and resents her increasing power over this thoughts and feelings.

Similarly, Bella has no interest in Edward. She has him pegged just moments after meeting him. “You’re the doctor’s son. Wealthy, spoiled, bored with life. You’re tired of Forks and you know you can do better. And you will, I’m sure. You’re probably at the top of the class.” Edward rallies but is honest enough with himself to admit that while two can play at this game, Bella is winning.

At this point in my review you’re probably wondering if I’ve forgotten the title of this blog. No, I haven’t. I’m reviewing for the Perv Pack’s Smut Shack. So, where’s the smut? Well, I figured I’d wait you make as long as Bella and Edward do in this story.

STNY is really a short story, when it comes right down to it. The buildup is slow and steady. Establishing the groundwork for the relationship is key to creating the tension and framework for the second half. If you’re looking for fluff or wham, bam, thank ya’ ma’am, there’s plenty to be found in fanficdom. This story is not it.

That’s not to say it is without its many moments! Bella’s first time doesn’t happen until chapter 9, but it is worth the wait. Due to typical teenage nonsense, which socact kindly doesn’t force us to read through, it takes them months to finally decide that they belong together. Once they do we learn that, much like canon Bella and Edward, she’s the sexual aggressor in their relationship. Edward has managed to placate her with his “truly divine talent… for using his tongue in certain places.”

It’s been a year since our protagonists have met and they’ve returned to the resort on Vancouver Island to spend some quality time together. Bella and Edward are heading off to college; he to California, she in Washington. Neither is looking forward to their forced separation. During their time together at the resort they promise to “see [each other] here once a year, every year, this time, this place.”

I find it fairly amazing that socact was able to keep me so invested in these characters with the cards laid out on the table as they are. Basically, Bella and Edward agree to yearly booty calls, “No matter what we’re doing, who we’re with, where we are.” That’s right – this is planned infidelity, folks, plain and simple. Neither is so naïve to believe that their relationship, their love, can survive the 1000 miles between them, but neither is willing to give it up.

Yet there’s beauty in their illicit meetings. Throughout the years each panics that this will be the year the other doesn’t show. According to their agreement, “if one of us doesn’t come some year, then that’ll be it.” However, year after year they both arrive and sexy times ensue. We’re treated to bedroom sex, blow jobs in the shower, sex in the public dining room and up against a tree. Each year they delight us and each other with their abiding passion

Hints are dropped during these rendezvous; hints that let you know that the outside world is intruding. She’s in a serious relationship. He enters a relationship with someone special. And then it finally happens; Bella knows that something is wrong, “As soon as I saw his face, standing there in the dark, familiar room, I knew something was different… His eyes were anxious, uncertain; was he nervous? Upset?” Finally he utters the words readers will be dreading:

“How long have we been coming here?” he asked me in a low, strained voice.

“Eight years,” I murmured.

“Have you ever regretted coming here?”

“No,” I said, almost in a whisper. “Never.”

“Is there anything that would make you stop coming here?” he asked.

I finally looked up into his emerald eyes, those same ones I had fallen in love with seven years ago. I tried to find an answer there, to understand what he was thinking, why he was torturing me this way. And I knew the answer to his question; it was automatic, and always had been. Nothing could make me stop coming here to see him. Nothing.

“No,” I said.

Again, he ran his hand through his tousled bronze hair, exhaling sharply.

“Nothing?” he asked.

“No,” I said, slightly more loudly. My voice was shaking so hard that I knew just one more word would break it.


My heart broke into a million pieces. I cried. The knowledge I had of their illicit relationship had been like having a titillating secret, but now I regretted being invested in their HEA. The sex high I had been on for chapters was deflated and I read the rest of the story in tears. I had kept on hoping they’d find a way to be together. I kept going back, looking for hidden meanings, assurances that everything would be alright. I didn’t find them.

Surprisingly, this is not the end of their tête-à-têtes. If possible the following year is more heart rendering as they both discuss their happiness with their respective spouses after making love to one another. Despite the heartfail, or maybe because of it, Same Time Next Year is probably my favorite fanfiction period. I’ve recapped the story for just about anyone who will listen and that is something I never do. I believe that readers familiar with other incarnations of the story will appreciate socact’s treatment. For those, like myself, who were unfamiliar with the play and movie every step will put you through the emotional wringer. Trust me when I tell you that you will be rereading when you reach the end.

PS – socact posted an outtake to this story. DO NOT READ THE OUTTAKE. You’ll regret it. It will still be there when you’ve finished the story. Promise!

Bri- All I have to say is that if it weren't for the PP rec's I would miss out on a lot of great fics! I hadn't even heard of this story when I saw it on our rec list. Reading the summary, I was intrigued, albeit a little apprehensive, what with the "Romance/Angst" category it is labeled as. So, I did what any true Wussperv would do. I skipped ahead and read the a/n at the end. *giggle*

The author says in the beginning that this wasn't a unique storyline, but I beg to differ. I thought it was incredibly unique - at least in the fanfic world. The way she progressed the characters was done very well, from being slightly immature, horny teenagers to being slightly more mature, horny adults. *snort*

This is definitely a story that follows the "plot with a dash of smut" lines. The sexin' is there, but it's not the main focus and it's not talked about in detail, but we can get the gist of what's going down (yes, I meant it like that).

I will say...being a Wussperv, I felt that there was quite a bit of angst in the story. And, sometimes it felt a bit unnecessary. The way socat weaved the story was done so to deceive and thus the angst was there - and heavy. Fortunately, I was a sneaky h00r and read ahead to the very last chapter and got the dealio on the sitch. Still, it didn't make some of the angst easy to take.

The last chapter was very sweet and sort of rectified the entire fic...explaining the hows and whys to each chapter. And, it ended on a very high note, which is always a plus.

Bottom line - if you like the angst, read it. If you hate the angst, read the a/n at the end and then give it a go. It's a very easy read - took only a few hours to get it done - and it's complete! I'd give this story a 4/5.

Emily-I am so glad this was the rec this week. I did not have much time to read but this story sort of wormed itself into my brain and I found myself finding time to read it. Reading on my phone at the stop light, while waiting at the deli counter for my sandwich, etc. It is a easy read but that is not to say it is not a complex story because it is. I am not a wussperv so the angst did not bother me and Socat weaves it beautifully within the confines of the story structure.

I like how the smut changes over time and evolves, it grows with Edward and Bella. I mean sex as a teenager and sex as an adult are entirely different. Even though we only get one weekend out of each year for 10 years you can feel the intense chemistry with E/B.

I did not read the A/N at the end until I was done with the story and I am not going to spoil for those who have not read STNY yet but Socat did a good job of keeping me guessing. I admit I guessed right but it was fun to theorize as I read each chapter. 4/5

Emmy- I must say, if I had had to read this incomplete... ? I would have fucking died... Seriously *I* would not have coped.. Yes my wussperv is that extreme... Like my honourable friends *coughsnort-athonourable-coughsnort* Bri & Nina, I too had to read the a/n at the very end..... ooopsies...

I really enjoyed this fic. Stephie, had been harping on about this story & how good it was for eons, but I kept putting it off, my wee pussy heart trembled at the thought of the angst... But fucking hell its great!! The writing is beautiful, slightly mysterious.. (I ADORE MYSTERIOUS WRITING!! Its my fave thing [almost ;) ]The story is unique and interesting and her layout and style is a brilliant addition to the plot device..

The lemons are hot but also emotional and heartfelt... So they are so much more than just first time sexing and then reunion sexing... I love the implicit intimacy between the pair that is revealed.. and the myriad of emotions that they experience together as they make sense of their separations and reunions..

I love what an absorbing read this story is too.. I started it and although there are 17chapters or so I had it finished within a couple of hours... Each chapter and reunion sucks you into the next... Brilliant! I really enjoyed this story - particularly enjoying the substance behind the lemons and how Socat manages to play so nicely with us all......

4 out of 5 holiday knickers from yours truly for Same Time Next Year...

Kathy- Like the other ladies, I'd never seen this premise in a fic before. When Steph sent an email to the PP with the description, I was skeptical. What? Same time every year? What about all the in-between times?! Surely I'd miss those. I also wondered if there was some sort of cheating, which would imply lying and guilt and open a whole new ball of wax and issues I don't generally like to read about in FanFic.

I'll be upfront and honest; I decided to give this story a chance for one chapter. Most of you know my 3-5 chapter rule, but I was having a busy week and frustrated with reading what felt like the same story over and over.

The first chapter begins in the year 2019, and ends on a cliffhanger. There's a call at the reception desk for Bella – from her husband. It drove me completely mad. I had to know... WHO was her husband!? The story was cleverly written from the start, and very clean writing with little to no errors.

Each chapter contains the kind of plot-writing I would love to lose myself in on a daily basis. All of the original six characters appear. The author lays the groundwork and foundation nicely with seven full chapters of their first weekend. You learn who these characters are and really see them clearly. From there, she typically covers the following year in a single chapter, but sometimes they are spread across two.

Over the years, we grow to know and love Edward and Bella. The story begins with Bella as a virgin, and you see their first experience together. It's lines like these (from chapter 9) that fucking OWN me:

Wordlessly, he found a different rhythm that was frenzied, intense, and hot as all hell. He was making love to me, which I felt in the way he looked at me, touched me, kissed me. But he was fucking me, too, and I liked it. A lot.

MMPH. Seriously, the lemons throughout this story are just so fucking hot to me. As Bella and Edward change and grow, so do their private moments. For me, the emo cranked up at chapter 12, and never let go.

To say that I devoured this story is a vast understatement. I sat at my desk, glued to the computer, clicking chapter after chapter. Unlike Nina and Bri, even if you are a Wussperv, I HIGHLY recommend that you do not skip ahead and spoil the ending! Snot sob with me, people – it is so fucking worth it. I'm not even exaggerating when I say I climbed into the steamiest shower I could stand and let the tears flow. I bawled, and bawled, and cried again re-reading to refresh my memory about bits and pieces. 5 panties for the smexin' and 10 tissue boxes.

Nina- I like Bri, had to read the explanatory A/N at the end because like her, I'm a total wuss and knowing an integral part of the equation was necessary for me to be able to read it sober. Yes, I am that bad. So bite me.

Stephie is the socat cheerleader if there every was one. She fawned over this story and told us we HAD to read it and I'm so profoundly grateful she pushed us to. It's such an exceptional story, a unique idea and oh yeah, great smut.

I'm not going to lie, the story is a bit confusing with the timeline but being a fan of fucking with the readers with wacky timeframes, I was sure to pay close attention to the details. You need to keep in mind that it's intentionally a mindfuck and a great one in my opinion. socat does a wonderful job of keeping you on the edge, yes it's angst and yes it hurts but I'll tell you what. The outcome had me in tears. It was perfect and I loved every last bit of it.

Yes, I cheated in order to get through the angst but fuck off, I'm a sissy. Now, the sexing isn't overly graphic, but it's there and it's so wonderful fitting with plot and context of the story that if she had done it in any other way, I wouldn't have appreciated it as much. That's one of the main things I enjoy/admire about the story and socat's style is that it's very well done and handled perfectly.

All in all it's a great story, chock full of everything and the icing on the ficcake is that it's complete. 4/5 from moi

Stephie- I'm doing this shit early. Like hella early. Because I know if I don't, I will forget. And that would be a fucking travesty. socact is basically one hot piece of author. I won't lie, I totally fangirl over her stuff. If you recall, I rec'd her story Save You for my getting to know the pp piece. At the time I hadn't read Same Time Next Year. However, after chatting with MsKathy about how epic it was, I dove right in, neglecting other stories (including my own)

Same Time Next Year is a story that follows Bella and Edward from the first day they meet, a field trip for the students at a little island, throughout their yearly meetings, until the present day. What I love most about STNY is Edward. Hell, I love socat's Edward a whole fucking lot. He's kind of an ass. A hot ass no less. His initial reaction to Bella is that of annoyance, though you can probably guess it's because there is some attraction lurking. Throughout their stay on that first encounter, there are several instances where I just want them to touch, kiss, get the point.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

MsKathy Loves A Good Change

Guess what? I'm sticking to the rules this week. I'm bringing you one hot, sweet, delicious morsel of a oneshot.

Title:Before the Dawn
Author: MagnificentSin
Words: 6,506
Reviews: 56
Summary: Bella finally gets what she wants most from Edward- eternity. Spoiler for all books- set after Eclipse. Rated mature for adult audiences.

Okay, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little contest burnout. I love the oneshots they produce, but one of my challenges to myself this time around was to pick a great oneshot that WASN'T the product of a recent contests. Think this is easy? Try it - I dare you.

I've read a fair share of 'turning' fics, some of them were fucktabulous and some were ... not. This one? Fucktabulous.

The author completely blew me away with lines like this:
My body was tuned into his frequency and every muscle tightened in anticipation of his touch. His fingers intertwined with mine, covering my hand easily and he slid them further up on the glass.
and this:
I sucked in a deep breath as I felt his fingers dip inside of the dress to retrieve the neat bow holding the dress closed. “You don’t mind, do you?” His breath was cold against my flesh. “If I undress you?”
Safe to say, none of us minds.

I think the line that really killed me was the most simple:
“Forgive me,” he murmured.
I can admit, I was completely crying by the end. I hope you enjoy this beautiful, smexy oneshot as much as I did.