Friday, May 29, 2009

"Shadowboxer" by No Blood No Foul


This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title:
"Shadowboxer "
Author: nobloodnofoul
Chapters: 16
Words: 135,298
Reviews: 2057
Summary: Edward is an underground fighter using the ring as an outlet for his pent-up rage. Bella is a college dropout running from her complicated past. Their paths collide when Edward is beaten and left for dead. Rated M for LEMONS. CANON PAIRINGS. AH. OOC.


Guest Revewier - Cheddah

Wow. So, I'm still a bit stunned that I was asked to be the guest reviewer for Shadowboxer by nobloodnofoul. I hope I can do both the story and author justice.

There are no words to describe my love for this fic. None. I stumbled upon SB while doing a random search for "fighters" on FFN. Being a huge Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fan, the words "underground fighter" to describe Edward were all I needed to give SB a shot. At the time, only 3 chapters had been posted but it was clear to me after reading the first that this fic was going to rock and I was hooked.

Edward, or Fightward as we on the Twilighted thread affectionately refer to him, is a premier fighter in the world of underground boxing. As a teen runaway, Edward turned to the ring as an outlet for his anger and frustrations at the world that surrounds him. Bella is a homeless, college dropout who has run away from her past, hoping never to look back. Bella accepts a position at the gym where Edward trains. Needing a place to sleep, Bella sneaks into the gym the night before her first day of work but instead of finding rest, she finds Edward badly beaten and left for dead.

The number one reason you should read SB is that it is unpredictable. Every time I get a new chapter in my inbox to beta, I am surprised at how the plot thickens. The originality and depth of each character is unparalleled. Nothing is as it seems with this fic, and NBNF has an amazing talent that leaves you craving more of the twists and turns that are Shadowboxer. This story is loaded with witt and dripping in sarcasm; there are so many one-liners, you'll find yourself using them IRL. Not only are the two main characters multifaceted but so are the supporting roles of Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose. NBNF amazes me with her attention to detail and ability to draw in the reader and make you feel as though you are right in the middle of all the drama, angst, love and lemons. Oh yes, there is plenty of lemon-lovin’ going on in SB! Who knew that diving board sexin' could be so HAWT?! Or that a kitchen romp with various fruits and yogurt will make you want to make a midnight run to the grocery store? Two words: purple panties.

As this fic is coming to a close, there are so many loose ends to wrap up that even I am left wondering what exactly NBNF has planned for the ending, which is only about three chapters out. I know I am failing to fully describe the awesomeness that makes up SB and it's because the story is so multidimensional. You just have to read it for yourself. Seriously.

I could not be more proud of NBNF for what she has done with Shadowboxer, especially since it is her first attempt at FFN. I am excited and anxious to see what more she has to offer the world of FanFiction.

**Chedd.


Emmy- I started off reading Shadowboxer after one of my luscious ladies from the pack said to.. It has BoxerWard (or BruisedWard as I like to call him..) in it - what more do you want? Indeedy.. & that was true of the first few chapters that it was at that point.. But this story has morphed into a very different sexy beast than I first anticipated.... I had assumed it would purely be hot rumbles & tumbles staring BruisedWard with Bella tending to both his wounds and animalistic raw nature! Wrong Emmy. Wrong, wrong wrong! This story is so so so so so much more...

Bella is a very complex character. Secrets are repressed and hidden.. Edward? Edward is HOTTT but again is so much more. Layers of complexity, fear, desire, longing, passion, aggression, failure, need, protectiveness, hunger, possessiveness make up his personality and persona. Together they are quite the pairing, quite the mix.. There is a deep mutual need and hunger for the other, which mixed with their own vulnerabilities and shaky histories create a volatile energy to their intense relationship and bond.

The supporting (canon) characters also have had, as the story has progressed, a much bigger role to play in our progotanists futures than I first anticipated.. I particularly like the complexity that nobloodnofoul has added to Jasper's character and the developing and increasing interplay with landlady Alice...

Shadowboxer has an increasing mysterious air hanging over its chapters... There are secrets waiting to be revealed and unearthed, these make me uneasy (in a this fic is ripe with tension, foreshadowing and twists kind of good way) and I now read each new chapter anxious for the end to make sure nothing poop happens to Bella & Edward.. Their relationship is so strong and intense yet so fragile ~ it blazes so bright I worry about what could engulf it... They are each others anchors from their past and their hope for the future...

So you know that their situation and dynamics and events have thrust them together into an intense blazing bond. And you know that as a boxer Edward is in great shape and is a very physical, animalistic, hands on kind of bloke... So how do you think the physical aspect of their relationship is?....... Hell yeah! I am telling you - extremely scrumptious sexing.. I cannot get enough of this BruisedWard and thankfully neither can Bella, ergo we get lots of scrummy sexing.. HOT. DELICIOUS. SWEATY. INTENSE. CANTGETENOUGH DON'STOPDON'TYOUDARESTOP SEXING!

So BruisedWard fulfills all my expectations in terms of yummy hotness, but Shadowboxer exceeds it in terms of emotional complexity, characterisation and intriguing plot. I am sure you are reading this. But if you ain't? Get your sexy arse over there now!

A sweaty 4 boxer shorts out of 5 from me..


Emily- I am currently away spending time with family and old friends from my slutty high school days! So if you are anywhere near Santa Cruz, CA look me up!


Beks- I fucking loved this story. This is what I would call a complete work of fanfiction. NoBlood did a FANTASTIC job of working in all of the relationships from the series, from Royce and Rosalie's abusive relationship to Jasper and Maria's demise. I did not know it was possible to make the Cullen boys any sexier than they already are, but hot damn, Edward as a boxer, JESUS CHRIST, his temper alone was enough to melt my butter.

I also love this version of Bella, just as stubborn and headstrong as in the series, but not some emotional mess that needs Edward to hold her together. The spin of her being homeless and too prideful to admit it or take anyone's handouts was fantastic. I could go on and on, but I will finish by saying the boys were sexy, the sexin' was delicious and the story itself is amazing. I am anxiously awaiting the next update.

5 dripping panties out of 5!


Hope- So I guess I need to be in full disclosure mode and say that I haven't read the entire story yet. I only made it through chapter 7 by the deadline. I am fail. But what I read, I loved. I really loved. This fic was rec’d to me about 2 months ago and was added to my seemingly never ending list of fics “To Be Read” and now I am kicking my ass for not reading it sooner. It’s that fucking good. When one of my PPmates rec’s something from now on I’m going to get right on it. No more waiting for me.

Bruiseward as this Edward is called is one fine “Smokin’ Hot” piece of Man-Meat. Yes “Smokin Hot” as this Bella calls him. Bella who is homeless gets a job cleaning up at “The Ring” a somewhat seedy gym specializing in boxing. Sneaking into the gym in the middle of the night to actually get some sleep on a surface other than the seat of her truck she finds a man beat up and semi-conscious. Even through the swollen eye, cut brow, busted lips and myriad of bruises across his body she sees that he is beyond gorgeous and is instantly attracted to him, uglyed up and all. Wanting to help the beautiful mess in front of her she takes him back to his apartment where she cleans him up and cares for him. He comes to and is weary of the beautiful stranger in his house. Edward as we find out his name is, is an underground fighter. He calms and is instantly taken with the Bella, asking her to come back after her shift at the gym. Some ugliness happens at the gym forcing Bella to leave work early. She goes back to Edwards with the pretense of checking up on him, not admitting to herself that she wants him and want to be near him. Arguments are had, the tension rises and the two tumble into bed. And what a time they have. Woah!! Things happen, relationships are formed and sexy times DON’T happen again for awhile, not from lack of want mind you. Eventually they admit to themselves that the other owns them. They just haven’t admitted it to each other. So that is the story or the beginning of the story in a little Hopey nutshell.

Now let’s talk about the writing. This story has funny inner monologue, which I happen to be a HUGE fan of and use myself. And the inner thoughts/talking in SB are some the funniest and best I have ever effin’ read. So to begin with, that endears this story to me. The background of the main characters are revealed in little bits and sips and we get an idea of what went on before they meet, but never the whole picture. I like that, the mystery of it, the plot thickening. It keeps us the reader enthralled and wanting to know more and more. It’s obvious that these two are damaged, but how damaged is the question. Wow, I am making this sound uber-angsty and really it isn’t. It’s not all light and fluffy either though. Somewhere in between I think. I love NBNF’s narrative is funny and intense and she has a way of making you really feel what these characters are feeling. I personally love that.

Smut; yes what you all really want to know about…the smut. Up through chapter 7 there are only two smut scenes, but both are phenomenal. I will never ever look at a black wife-beater or purple panties the same way again. Edward doesn’t want to hurt her the first time they’re together, but the primal warrior side that Bella brings out in him and that she wants from him overrides everything else and he literally pounds into her…and it is awesome. During their second encounter he tries to show her how much he wants her “girly bits” and completely succeeds. There is some over the shoulder and teasing oral action as well. But it’s not just sex; there is a deep connection or bond between these two. They let go, letting their instincts and lust take over when they are together. It’s rough, yet tender and sweet at the same time.

I can’t wait to devour the rest of this fantabulous story. 4 purple panties out of 5 from me.


Nina- I believe our Naughty Librarian was the one that sent out the initial email asking if any of us had read Shadowboxer yet. We answered no and she insisted that we stop what we were doing and read it. Me being afraid of NL and her Southern methods of cohersion decided that I better listen, so I read the first three chapters and wanted to die because NBNF didn't have any more posted! I then ordered two Pay-Per-View fights because I was suddenly dying to watch two men beat the living pulp out of each other and be all nice and hot and sweaty and....*thud*.

Now, take said scenario above and input hunky Edward Masen as the fighter at "The Ring" a gym run by ultra meaty Emmett and trainer Jasper. The story begins with Bella finding him bloodied, bruised and broken after a vicious attack thanks to King and his minions. She nurses him back to health but there isn't anything cliche about it at all. I promise you that. There starts their relationship. He initially feels grateful to her for all she has done for him by way of his health but it grows exponentially into more.

There are mistakes made throughout their journey, there wouldn't be much of a story if there weren't ups and downs. At one point she's living in her truck in the parking lot of "The Ring" which just about killed me, there is a truly horrible altercation with someone unexpected that sends Bella fleeing away and in turn coming full circle bloodied and bruised (though thankfully not nearly to the extent that poor Fightward endured.)

They each have their hidden secrets and not-so-pretty pasts that are (soon I think) going to come out and need to be dealt with before they can truly move forward. I'm actually dying to hear Bella's history as it's been vaguely mentioned but no gory details have been explained yet.

Now for the sexing. First of all, holy hell is it scrumptious. Not just because of Fightward being so epically toned and his stamina being so... Sorry off track there for a second. It's hot. NBNF pays great attention to even the most subtle of details and each one of their horizontal encounters is somehow hotter than the next.

So besides Bella's backstory and finding out wtf is up with Eddie's parents. In last night's update he finally verbalized his love and it was fucking perfect. Holy shit I loved it!

My only request to NBNF is that she writes a Shadowboxer out-take just for me that is based on the barn scene in Rocky IV where Rocky is lifting the wheelbarrow full of people, and the upside down hanging situps...*thud*

4.5/5 from me!


Steph- What is it they say about the best-laid plans? Yeah. I'm good at planning, not-so-good at the follow through. I started this story when it was in the early stages and fell in love with it. Fighter Edward?? What the hell is not to love? But as I always do, I got behind. (Y'all, I've got over 80 story alerts waiting to be read, many of those stories with multiple chapters waiting on me.) So I have not ready the entirety of what's published with this gem of a story. What I have read, I love, hard. I'm not going to rehash the plot, when everyone else has done a fabulous job with that. If you haven't read this story, you need to. Period.

I give SB a hearty 4.5/5 sweaty pairs of silky boxing shorts.





~*~
In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the author to share a bit about herself...



nobloodnofoul, or NBNF if you're pressed for time, is a slightly yellow (half Asian/half Scottish) 21 year old who lives in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.

She usually gets through the day by kicking ass, but not taking names. She's got no time for that, she's got Fightward to write. Oh, did I mention that she's Fightward's baby momma, too? Yeah. It's a hard (-insert eyebrow waggle here- wtf is an eyebrow waggle, btw?) job, but somebody's gotta do it. She don't have any rugrats, but she does have an almost husband and a child-like dog which is kind of the same thing.

She ventured into the world of fanfiction after reading Twilight on a whim (Breaking Dawn pissed her off and she needed a re-write). When she isn't making fun of reality television, walking her child, crocheting a god-awful throw, or cooking she is obsessively checking her e-mail for updates, lurking around the T'd threads, writing up outlines for fics, reading rec'd fics, and taking a peek at the PPSS blog when the almost Mr.NBNF isn't looking.

One rainy day as she was reading fanfiction she looked up at the television to see a commercial for UFC. This started her daydream of a sweaty, ripped Edward who was a ring fighter...and Shadowboxer was born. After writing up two chapters she dropped a set of balls and posted them. The rest as they say is history...or will be once SB is done.

She is horrible at punctuating sentences and is generally grammatically incorrect but that's where her awesome beta Cheddah comes in.

She likes Ben and Jerry's Karamel Sutra, googling pictures of Rpats smoking cigs, and getting advice from her homeslice Dawn on how to write bio's of herself in the third person.
One can often find her holed up in the office of her tiny apartment blazing her way through packs of Marlboro Red 100's and typing like a banshee on crack - muttering things about fighting, the FBI, and phone sex. (Mr.NBNF has learned to steer clear of this area in such cases). Her awesome support team consists of the SB thread on T'd and her close MSN messenger bizzles: Cheddah, Lucy, and Dawn. She is obsessive about her story outlines and will cut you if you try to mess with them.

She has a long standing love for Edward but would settle for Jasper if Edward remained hung up on Bella. (She believes she could take Alice). NBNF is not ashamed to admitting that she is emotionally cheating on her fiance with two fictional characters. She's also waiting for the day she accidentally calls out the wrong name during sex.

When NBNF was a little girl she enjoyed reading the literary greats such as Dumas, Austen, Poe, and Frost. She's been writing since a little tot and just recently developed the balls to post something of her own (as much as borrowing someone else's characters can be considered her own) and has plans to write more after Shadowboxer.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bri Loves Getting Dirty on a Dusty Floor

Title: Soul Mates on a Dusty Floor
Author: moon.witche
Chapters: one-shot
Words: 6,435
Reviews: 36
Summary: For jayeliwoods Sexy Edward contest. Bella and Edward spend time getting to know one another, locked away from the world. When reality intrudes, will their relationship be strong enough to keep them together?

You know what I love more than pure smut? A mini story within a one-shot. While getting straight to the fucking is sometimes nice, I like to work up to it a bit - which is why most of my fave o/s are in excess of 5k words - lots nearing 10k.

From start to finish, SMoaDF takes us through several months while we get to know Edward and Bella - and we get a glimpse into their relationship. moon.witche had me from the very beginning when Edward was a love-struck fool fumbling over his words.

In under 7k words, she's managed to give us a great storyline, filled with the ups and downs of a full-fledged story. And, while I would have liked one little detailed to be spelled out for me, I'm alright assuming for myself (the results were negative... ;) And, because not everything is straight-up down and dirty fucking, I quite enjoyed the lemon in this story - it was realistic, simplistic and well done.

So, if you're in the mood for something short, but with a great little story filled with love, UST, smut and even a dash of angst, check this little ditty out. And, REVIEW - this poor thing deserves way more recognition than it's gotten.

~Bri

Friday, May 22, 2009

"Mr. Horrible" by Algonquinrt




This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Our Guest Reviewer is AdorableCullens!



Title: "Mr. Horrible "
Author: algonquinrt
Chapters: 21
Words: 88,856
Reviews: 2759
Summary: They meet at a gallery, from two different worlds. Watch as they learn each other's language and culture... oh, who am I kidding here? They meet. They are opposites. They attract. Rated M for serious potty mouth and scenes of the citrus variety. AH/AU


Guest Reviewer-AdorableCullens


Out of the blue one fine March day, algonquinrt sent me a piece of her writing – no explanation, no context, nuthin’. I opened it. Read the first line. And laughed.

I didn’t know what I was looking at, but I knew it was pure win.

That was my introduction to Mr. Horrible, the funniest, most profane and, ultimately, the most charming Twific going. I’ll tell you why I love this story so much, but first, let me try to summarize the romp that is Mr. H’s plot.

Bella (aka Baby Swan) is a 25-year-old, under-employed free spirit who temps at boring office jobs by day and hags by night for James (aka Victoria Secretion), her lifelong pal who also happens to be a drag queen. Edward (aka Rich Kid) is a good boy from a wealthy, upper-crust family. He’s the wunderkind CEO and founder of a Facebook-a-like social network. And wow, does he need to get out more.

The two meet by chance in an art gallery, which leads to a cultural collision of tsunamic proportions. It’s like a foreign exchange on crack. Or maybe Patron and Xanax.

Lining up on Baby Swan’s team is her best friend Alice (a fragrance chemist with a laugh like a braying donkey), James/Victoria (the emotionally manipulative kindergarten teacher/drag queen) and Emmett (aka Mitt-Mitt, conspiracy theorist writer and brother to James).

Rich Kid brings best friend Jasper (Edward’s CTO with a touch of the metro in him), Rosalie (his beautiful, bitchy and over-protective sis) and his parents, Esme (his loveable but chronically schnockered mama) and Carlisle (who wisely advises his lovestruck boy right from the start “Son, you are completely and utterly fucked.”)

If your jaw is dangling and you’re thinking WTF, all I can say is – you don’t know algonquinrt.

She’s a stickler for detail, a slave to her research and a terrific writer. The characters may be bouncing off the walls (or exchanging fisticuffs at gay clubs, take your pick), but essentials like plot, characterization and continuity never waver. Reality check – the nuttier your characters, the more strictly disciplined the story and writer must be in order for things to work. algonquinrt gets this in spades.

There are a million reasons why you need to read this fic, not the least of which is that it is a fucking stitch. But here are a few of my faves:

1. Laurent. Hands down the best Laurent ever written in Twific. He’s the Cullen’s rockin’ butler who finds a kindred spirit in the feisty Baby Swan. Their battle to one-up one other in introducing snooty Cullen Mansion to the pleasures of everyday life is epic. EPIC.

2. Pop Culture Bonanza. Every chapter of Mr. H is jam-packed with gems referencing movies, art, history, television, books, fashion and more. The fun of spotting an old favorite or learning something new adds to the texture of the story.

3. Jesus Potty Mouth Christ! I curse like a sailor (just ask my coworkers), but Mr. Horrible takes profanity to a new level. Between the machine gun-style usage of the classic F word and the Oscar-winning taking of the Lord’s name in vain, the language in Mr. H is not for the faint of heart. It is also (pardon my French) fucking hilarious. Mr. Horrible is a terrific read. Baby Swan and Rich Kid – for all the laughs and lunacy – are believable and complex. Anyone who can’t see a little of themselves in these two imperfect but delightful characters just isn’t looking fucking hard enough.

Jesus Awesome Story Christ …




Bri- I have so many good things to say about this fic, it's not even funny. I'll be honest - I kept seeing the ridiculous flashing siggies going all around twi - I mean, a drag queen with a blue wig?? - and honestly thought...wtf is this all about?? But, Kath assured me it was hilarious and I should give it a go. So, I did. And, I have not laughed harder in a fic in... well, ever. Algie has created two of the best Edward and Bella's I've ever read (and that's saying a whole fucking lot because I read this shit like I consume caffeine). I love how she weaves humor throughout even when we are dealing with shitty issues.



Even the supporting cast in this fic are well written and woven in perfectly. Laurent is defs my fave (TNC is the bomb, and I love jello-cake) but good old Granny Platt and her talk of the po-po come in a close second.



This is definitely one of the few fics I drop everything to read when an update comes in. Wanna know why? Cuz being home with two hellions all fucking day long, I could use some little laughs. And, smut doesn't hurt either. She does them both so well. I'll be laughing so hard I'm crying in one minute and flushed in the next. Trust me when I say you won't be disappointed when you read this fic. I'm giving it 5/5 panties from me - and you know that's a big fucking deal. :)






Emmy- I have the lovely Kathy to thank for telling me to read this after a few chapters in saying it was funny & good & sexy. & by golly she was right! This is one of those stories that I just have to sneak a peak & read when I get the alert - whether I be in a meeting; supposedly working at my desk; trying to sleep or as quite frequently of late, up a ladder painting.. :)



I think what I like most about Mr Horrible is that it is deceptively straightforward to fall into. Its so easy to read, so easy going and funny and the characters so entertaining that you get hooked straightaway.. But this is where the deception comes in. Because Algie's story is not straightforward. Nah-ah! There are things ahead for these characters that you really do not see coming... Both her Edward (Rich Kid) & her Bella (Baby Swan) [Seriously after Hot Bitch penned by our lovely Nina, are they not the best Twilight ff nicknames ever?!] have many many layers and through the course of this fic they genuinely develop... Not only does our understanding of who they are and where they are increase but their own does too as they grow individually but also as a couple too.. That is no mean feat in a fic... AT ALL.



I also really like the tone of Mr H. Its light, its fecking hilarious, its edgy (can something be both edgy and light? Well to hell with that as Mr Horrible is!!), and has an incredible supporting cast - including my favourite uses of James, Laurent & Esme EVER! This is a real don't you dare drink anything over your laptop whilst reading it story, as you just don't know where this is going to go next..



& yes the sex.... Well my darlings let me tell you.. There is hot sexing and sexy times in Mr H. There is also realistic sexing and sexy times. Additionally there is realistic and yet very hot sex and sexing in Mr Horrible... Again this is often no mean feat!!! & the last chapter... Well that made me want to go get a flight, any flight & go get myself some from the boyo...But I won't tell you what happened and spoil it all for you now.. I wouldn't be so mean...


What I will say is this. Go read Mr Horrible. Its fabbio. Algie is a genius who has created a masterpiece full of car crash, slapstick, pastiche, emotion, warmth and beauty (oh & a potty mouth to put mine to shame [those who don't know me don't know that the third floor of my office echoes with the blue exclamations that pour non-stop from within my room!] which is genius & inventive and fecking hilarious). READ MR HORRIBLE. DOOOOOO IT! a deffo 5 Betty Paige stylie to drive Rich Kid out of his tiny yet genius preppy mind knickers out of 5 story this one!



Hope- Kathy is my go-to girl for fics. She knows the good shit and I love all the stories she has recommended to me. But when she described Mr. Horrible to me, I was hesitant to read. It sounded like the worst kind of crack-fic; James is a drag queen, his stage name is Victoria Secretion and Edward & Bella's first date is at a drag show, say what? But it's not crackfic, trust me it's not. Comedy is hard (snicker) and Algie does it so fucking good. But this story is not just quippy, clever remarks, vivid and hilarious characterizations (Drunksme and Laurent being some of my fav’s) and pop culture references (I srsly wonder where she comes up with this shit sometimes). There is a love story of epic proportions underneath the smart mouths and hilarious thoughts of all the parties involved.



I have to admit that this is my favorite Bella & Edward of all fucking time. Yes, of all time. There is something endearing and enchanting about both of these characterizations. Sure Bella or 'Baby Swan' as Edward nicknames her has a foul mouth, an penchant for the odd and unusual and has the habit of putting Christ on food products , but she is all tough exterior with a fragile marshmallowy center that only a rare few ever see. There is an innocence about her, she's not sheltered and her life hasn't been easy but she has few of the experiences that we gather and collect as we go through life. Now Edward or 'Rich Kid' as Bella nicknames him is all shy nerdiness, bored with the monotony of his day-to-day existence and sees the humor and ridiculousness in his family’s high-society life. He has had all the requisite life experiences, but they were meaningless and perfunctory. And he has a wicked cool nickname for his cock that we soon discover. Hehe. Meeting Bella at an art gallery his mother dragged him to, to see an O'Keefe exhibit of all things. Edward observes her going against the flow and ebb of the other patrons, marching to her own beat. He is enthralled and intrigued by this non-conformity, something that he would never dream of doing. He finds himself caught up in the whirlwind that is Bella and her life and couldn't be fucking happier about it, but makes the initial mistake of not looking below the surface of the odd, beautiful woman that has captivated him. They both have painful pasts that eventually come out. For all their differences these two fit together perfectly. Because at the heart of it, they are the same only with different journeys to get to where they are now.

This is an opposites attract story that is popular in the fandom now, but this is without a doubt the best one. The story isn’t just about their differences, it’s how their differences make them the same and how in the end they are not the different to begin with. Also, Mr. Horrible has a motley crew of entertaining and well rounded side characters helps to give this story a life and lushness that other stories don’t have.
Now I find Rich Kid fucking sexy. I have a thing for Geek/Nerdwards and this one is those things while being laidback and confident, a strange mix of the two aspects that is not often found in Geekwards. It makes him all the more hotter, imo. His thought processes and internal dialogue crack my ass up. And his epiphany about being love with Bella is the best I have ever read.

Onto the smut. Yes, there is a deflowering scene. And one I haven’t seen written quite like this before. It’s sweet and tender while still being hot and keeping with the comedic tone of the story. Edward gets to live out everyman’s fantasy of having a girl in his room at his parent’s house, hehe. Then in the latest chapter there is a break from the lovemaking that RK & BS have been having. We get Caveman Kid brought about by Bella wearing his t-shirt and nothing else. Edward loses himself in the primalness of his own lust, and hot damn who doesn’t love that?? Algie makes the lovin’ hot and steamy and still sweet and meaningful, while still bringing the funny. The mixture of all those things makes her smut some of the best I have ever read.

Mr. Horrible, both the story and the namesake get 4.5 pink and white polka-dotted Hello Kitty panties out of 5 from moi. Why only 4.5, cause I want more schmexy times from these two. And maybe a little Mitt-Mitt and Rosalie on the side.



Beks- This story hit a little close to home for me because I'm a complete fucking mess, I cry a record number of time per calendar year and my Type A bf keeps me from ruining my life at least 3 times a week. I really enjoyed Mr. Horrible. The sexing was fabu and the Edward was downright squeezable. I have to admit that my favorite part of the whole thing was Emmett's nickname. Every chapter with him or even a mention of the adorable moniker had me wishing for a Mitt-Mitt of my very own. In addition I think Bella's wardrobe deserves its very own outtake. I am interested to see what else algonquinrt's profile has to offer. 4 well-worn panties out of 5.


Kathy- Much like adorablecullens, algonquinrt story bombed me with parts of the first chapter. I read it, laughed hysterically and then begged for her to tell me which story it was. Imagine my surprise to find out it was an Algie original. I had read (and loved) Suburban Ennui, and was, I admit, a little afraid to read No Trust in Tomorrow. With two angsty stories under her belt, I expected... well... more angst in the next story.

But no – to do the expected would be very unlike Algie, I have learned. Thank God for originality. For the first several chapters, I would chat furiously with friends I knew were reading. These conversations went something along these lines. “Have you figured it out yet??” “No!!! You!??!” “God damn it, no!! Christ on a cracker, who or what is Mr Horrible?”. No joke. We agonized, we strategized, we thought and thought until I'm fucking SURE there was steam coming out of my ears. I'm not going to ruin it for you – it's worth the very short wait to find out who or what Mr. Horrible is.

Baby Swan is a strong character, with a hysterical personality and lifestyle. Rich Kid is lovable from the start. There is just no way to NOT love an Edward that will take Baby Swan, a complete stranger, for coffee and Snickers Pie. Edward mistaking the drag show Bella invites him to in chapter 2 for racing was one of the funniest moments I had read.. until chapter 3, where Jasper makes the same fucking mistake.

Then, there is an exchange in chapter 3, where Bella says, “Him being hot is just like putting frosting on a fucking brownie. It's awesome and shit, but all the stuff that really turns you on is already there, underneath.” and Alice replies with “A brownie, you say? Well, om nom fucking nom. Now let's start getting ready so I can go meet this hot piece.”

Ben & Jerry's must owe Algie some free Mission to Marizpan by now; everyone I've ever talked to about this story immediately ran out and bought a pint after chapter 8. If you haven't, go. Unless you're allergic to almonds, in which case, enjoy some Chunky Monkey or Chubby Hubby, perhaps.

Aside from the laughs, this story does a gradual build to something more. You grow to love these characters – from Alice, to Jasper, to Mitt-Mitt and even, dare I say, Jamie/Victoria. As each chapter gives us more insight into them, we see who they are, what motivates them, and why we should love them. It's complex, it's complicated, it's messy, it's funny, it hurts at times, it made me cry (duh). It's real. I'm not going to spoil any plot elements, but trust me, there is SO MUCH MORE to this story than what we're telling you.

At chapter 2, I knew I was in love with this story and began to pimp it to everyone I know. If you know me, I generally have a 3-5 chapter rule – I don't pimp a story until chapter 3 AT LEAST, period, because I've seen them tank fast and hard. I just couldn't hold back with this one. I knew that anyone having a total shit day would need to read this and experience some of the most unique and funny spins on these characters I have seen. Wait, I forgot to talk about the sexin'.

Even though algonquinrt has said (I think on her Twilighted story thread?) that sometimes lemon writing makes her go “hood up” on her hoodie, she does it with style and grace. Oh, okay, and it's fucking hot, too. Chapter 13 nearly broke me. Much like Baby Swan, I had to get out my Patron after. The sex is always real here – there are real problems, real moments, real descriptions. 5 fucking panties out of 5.


Miya- Fiberkitty is sneaking some web time on her hubby's computer since her laptop caught a virus and ate a Norton disk. Can we send one of Geekward's minions to fix my laptop and CTO Jasper to fix me? On the smut, I'd give the story a 3.5/5 but for bringing the funny 10/5. There are ten words that sum up this story: Cthulu slippers, Hello Kitty panties, Po-Po, TNC, and jello cake.



Nina- I like smut & I like comedy. I'll wait for the collective gasp to stop before I continue. I need your undivided attention for this. Okay, I'm being douchey and obviously I'm kidding. In all seriousness though, I want you to think long and hard (ha) about the Twilight fandom, and tell me how many authors are out there that are true comedic writers? Yeah, there aren't many. What we have here with Algie is not only a great comedic writer but also a sexy bitch that writes some tasty and funny smut. You've got to love that combination.

Kathy sent out an email simply stating, "Do you want to laugh? Read this it's fuckawesome!" Okay, maybe those weren't her exact words but the sentiment is there. I read the first two chapters and fell in love. It doesn't take much to make me laugh out loud, but it does take a lot to make me snort, laugh and cry while reading a story. Algie accomplishes all three with Mr. Horrible.

The title, in the beginning, pokes you in the ass everytime you read it because you're constantly trying to figure out what it relates too. Needless to say when the ahem...big reveal actually happens it's so fucking worth it that you scratch your head thinking that you should've realized it before. The heart of "Mr. Horrible" is the lives of Baby Swan and Rich Kid. I love both monikers but I have to say that I prefer Edward Cullen not-quite-the-second. That makes me laugh everytime she says it. It's not your typical fluffy story that makes you laugh and hot. No, Algie manages what few can accomplish, she weaves funny one-liners, great smut and an actual fucking story.

It's not just Baby Swan and Edward Cullen not-quite-the-second that makes this story so fucking fantastic. There is Mitt-Mitt (the best name for Emmett ever!), James aka Victoria Secretion, a fantastic portrayal of the A/J duo, Rose as a glorious frigid bitch, ahhhh Carlisle, but it's Esme, Laurent and Granny Platt that fucking steal the scenes they grace.

All in all, Mr. Horrible is a genuinely delightful gem in the fandom. It's got great smut and I might add a very well done 'first time' scene. Algie writes just the right amount of drama but most importantly this fucking story will make you laugh out loud repeatedly.

5 Jesus Fucking Christ out of 5 from moi


Stephie- Like most have already said, I have Kathy to thank for sucking me into Mr. H. I'm pretty sure it was during some of my more rather "emo" moments where she basically screamed at me to read this lovely fic, because once I started, I couldn't NOT laugh my ass off. I put it off, put it off, put it off (trying to write, not bc I didn't want to read it) until finally I couldn't put it off any longer. And once I started reading it all I could think was, WTF took me so long?

Baby Swan and Rich Kid are seriously two of the best E/Bs out there. I love that Bella just tells it like it is. She opens her mouth and she is such a no filter type of girl. Instead of it being obnoxious though, it is endearing; especially knowing her inner thoughts. Because even though she seems strong and in charge, she has this vulnerability that I love. Rich Kid is sexy and nerdy and just great through his attempts at being himself and wooing Baby Swan. One of my favorite scenes is when Baby Swan goes to brunch at the Cullens and Edward just has the greatest time sitting and watching Bella hold her own.

I also have to agree with so many that have said Mitt Mitt is the greatest nickname for Emmett. In fact, I think I was chatting with Kathy (who was still pestering me to read) when I got to that part and just about fell out my chair. Mitt Mitt! Thank God he's not as annoying as Jar Jar Binks. Mitt Mitt just proves that Algonquinrt has the ability to not only build up the two main characters, but make the "supporting" cast come to life as well.

I'm not currently caught up so I'm avoiding what is being said (lalalala I can't hear you guys!). I know that I suck for that. But I'm being dilligent. And I would've stayed up to read the last couple chapters and then review, only I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn. I wish that I could rate this fic with two different types of panty wettings...one for the hot sexin and two for how often I've laughed so hard I was afraid I'd pee my pants. Ok...that sounds gross, but you know what I mean, right? I give it a 4/5 (with some Snickers pie on the side for making their first time real and still great to read.)


~*~
In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the author to share a bit about herself...


algonquinrt, or “Algie” is a smokin' hot 30+ MILF of four. (Yes, four. That sometimes happens when you have a lot of smex.) In her spare (haha) time, she writes Mr. Horrible, No Trust in Tomorrow, and various rants about fanfic on her FF.net profile. When she isn't folding laundry, she's making Baby Swan and Rich Kid do insane things together, sometimes bringing Jamie/Victoria into the mix. Or, she's AFK scraping one of the four kids she is raising on her own off the ceiling. In case Rpatz is looking for a “more experienced” woman or Big Daddy C is real and wears Doc Martens, she is single, owing to her jerkwad of an ex who decided to waltz off into the sunset to indulge in a second adolescence. (The first was apparently not enough to satisfy his childish need for as much poon as he could handle. He likes to meet women online, so watch out for him.)

Alternately downing Patron and popping Xanax, Algie also finds time to read and review those fics you haven't found yet, championing the underdog. (pssst... go read Poughkeepsie. You know you love Hoboward). You know she's having a bad day if she's got both the Patron and Xanax in hand and the hood is up. She spends so much time in her hoodie she thought AngstGoddess wrote Wide Awake about her. She does, however, have a spare, although it's not as good as The Hoodie.

In a previous life, she did everything geeky you can imagine, including Academic Team, AP classes, computer programming, and celebrity blogging. (That last job involved playing Jeopardy against Satan to get her soul back when the gig was over.) She currently whores herself as a freelance writer in the real world, and hopes to someday write a real book that turns into a movie starring Rpatz. She promises that if that happens, there will be NO FTBs and a lot of full frontals.

Also, Algie wants to thank Bri for rocking out the awesome banner in record time!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Play "The Game" with Nina

Title: "The Game"
Author: qjmom
Chapters: one-shot
Words: 6,128
Reviews: 33
Summary: Emmett and Rose have been playing The Game for years now. Emmett thinks it's all about Rose, but Rose is looking for Emmett to step up and claim her. Will he finally meet her expectations?

Let's cut the shit Rose.
I want to fuck you NOW.
I'm coming for you.
And later,
you'll be coming for me.

Everyone has their 'order' of their favorite Cullen men. Most people know that mine has Carlisle on top of me...er...I mean on top of my list. Hot Bitch Carlisle is closely followed by Edward and Emmett. Yes, they're in a dead heat, two-way tie with each other and me in between them.

My point is that all readers and writers have their favorite but not everyone shares the same enthusiasm (obsession) that qjmom has for Emmett.

We all know that the most popular fics out there usually consist of Edward and Bella. There are only a handful of stories out there that tackle the secondary characters as the main pairing in the story. Does that deter someone like Q? Fuck no.

She embraces Emmett (in both her dreams and in her stories) as the center of her story "Indivisible" (Read it. It's Navy fucking Seal Emmett) but also in her one-shot called, "The Game" and in her first jaunt into the land of threeways with "Weird Twilight". As long as I'm singing her praises, Q was also part of the mastah-beta trifecta that brought us the Cullen men in leather with Shadow Guardians.

Don't let Q fool you. She loves her smut and she's damn good at writing it!

Her story "The Game", is set two days after Eddie & Bella's wedding and Rose being the vain, shallow vampire that she is, needs to reclaim being the center of attention. She randomly picks hotels where her and Em get separate rooms and she then plants her fine self at the bar to be drooled over by all the lame human men, forcing Emmett to watch.

She tortures dear, hunky, beefy, scrumptious, horny and hard Emmett with her taunting, her shameless flirting with the sappy bastards in the bar. He has to sit back and watch as the skeevy, sad business-men in their polyester blend suits try and win her attention and her affections, all in the game of stroking Rose's ego, at least that's what it seems on the surface. When in truth, it's not just her ego. Rose wants Emmett to take command, to take charge and claim her, not just sit back and watch the show.

Well. She gets her wish. The quote at the beginning of this is Emmett's promise to Rose and boy oh boy does he follow through. Commanding, sexy and fuckhot smexing is what dear Emmett delivers.

"I am going to make you beg me to fuck you before the night is over, Rose"


"Only your mouth. I want to know what you can do with those beautiful lips and talented tongue of yours."


Hotel sex is always hot. Hotel sex with hot, sexy vampire Emmett? Priceless.


I blame Q (and Gemma) for my sudden yearning for hunky Emmett. Read 'The Game', you won't regret playing.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Getting To Know Fiberkitty


I go by a lot of names. Miya, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mistress, Kitty, fiberkitty, and Mistress Boo Boo Kitty Fuck. Some of you probably have added a five letter word to that list, and that's fine with me.

I'm a full time mom to three beautiful girls. Hubby and I have a four year old and twin one year olds. They are the reason I cannot write as much as I'd like to. It is hard to spend more than ten minutes at my computer without someone needing my attention. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. They are my joy as well as my headache.


When I'm not playing with my children, I'm typically doing something “earthy-crunchy” as our girlfriend's mom calls us. My husband and I are polyamorous and we have had a triad relationship in the past. With the twins, it is difficult enough to find time for one another, let alone a third.


I'm a fiber artist in what little spare time I have from the girls and writing. I spin, weave, knit, crochet, and make two types of lace (tatting and bobbin-lace), three if you count crocheted lace. I spin on both wheel and spindle. I have two wheels, a Kromski Prelude and a Babe production double treadle. The Kromski is pictured below along with a bobbin of merino/colonial blended wool I spun this morning and then an altar cloth I spun and wove from Shetland (the primary color) and glass beaded silk (the pink accent).

Hubby and I also make soap from scratch- lye and oils mixed together outside far away from our cats and kids. We make our own bread a few times a week from grains purchased in bulk from a co-op and grind them in our grain mill. For the most part, we cloth diaper, and all that other fun stuff that many people have abandoned in favor of convenience.

What else is there about my real life? *thinks*We love cats, which makes sense as my patron goddess is Bast. We have 2 cats now; we used to have four but two passed on since November. I work part time for Specialty Purebred Cat Rescue, a non-profit cat rescue in the Midwest that takes in purebreds. Siamese, Himalayans, Bengals, Persians, Exotic Shorthairs, Ragdolls, Oriental Shorthairs, Burmese, Somalis, and more breeds come to our rescue instead of Humane Societies so that they can get more individualized care in our foster homes than they would in a shelter facility.

Fiberkitty as a writer. I guess I'm considered the non-canon writer of the group. I'm a die hard Bella/Jasper shipper after reading When Darkness Turns to Light and Nia-ox's Deadly Sins Trilogy.

My first fanfic, The Tie That Binds, is centered around Bella, Edward, and Jasper after the battle with the Volturi does not go as smoothly as it did in the canon books. Bella, Edward, and Jasper end up in a polyamorous relationship and Emmett with his singer.

Relief was another Bella and Jasper story, this one in the human genre. Edward is gay yet denies his feelings to stay with fiancĂ©e Bella as that is the “right thing to do” in his eyes. Bella is becoming frustrated by the lack of intimacy and best friend/ roommate Jasper offers her one night of relief after telling one small white lie. The lemons in chapters 1 and 2 were originally posted on literotica but I pulled them, changed the names, and posted as fanfic. Most of the lemons in this story I am happy to say are from my real life, minus the cheating aspect.

Lost and Found, another Bella/Jasper story, is about two young teens meeting, falling in love, and parting due to a mistake. Bella ends up pregnant after returning to Arizona and then returns to Forks three years later with her son, Heath. No one in Forks knows who the father is as Bella didn't share the nickname he'd given her. She ends up dating Edward and later discovers that his brother, Jasper, who is off at college, is Heath's father.

The Song Saga, an AU trilogy based around Bella and Jasper. This is a spin on Twilight where Bella is still Edward's singer but she falls in love with Jasper. Don't worry, Alice is with James so there is no cheating involved. The first part, She Sang The Wrong Song, is in Bella's POV and is complete. The second part from Jasper's POV, Song of My Heart, is in progress. Finishing it up will be Blood Song, Edward's POV. This entire saga was based off a sweet request from Cella Cullen asking me to write a story where Jasper was the single Cullen.

Dark Salvation... what can I say about it? This is the story that gave me the nickname Mistress Boo Boo Kitty Fuck from Kaia2008 and Miztrezboo. I'm co-writing it with mischief-maker1. While there are multiple depictions of D/S relationships, the story itself is not a D/S story. It is a darker themed novel going into the depths of the human soul. Jasper is a former FBI profiler working as a hospital psychologist who takes on Bella as his patient. She's there at the request of her physician and also to discuss the problems her husband is having and how they are influencing her life. Edward is a surgeon at the same hospital system as Jasper although they do not know each other except by name recognition. Edward, through an accident, loses a patient and is in a downward spiral of depression with suicidal thoughts. Jasper takes on Edward as his own patient and eventually as his sub. Graphic citrus interludes of many varieties. M/M, M/F, M/F/F, M/M/F, M/M/M... We're currently up to chapter thirty of probably forty two to fifty chapters.


My story recommendation. Gods. Do I have to pick just one? I already agreed to do Miami at Twilight because it is just fuckin' huge. It is a tale of epic proportions at just shy of 300,00 words in 62 chapters. Mischief-maker1 outdid herself in this story often known by the main character, “stripper-Bella.”


MaT is the continuation of Jamie's one-shot, Lick, where bartender Edward falls for one of the strippers. MaT chronicles their challenges in forging a strong relationship in the face of adversity. Given his family background, Bella doesn't feel good enough for him due to her occupation. He convinces her repeatedly that he loves her and wants only her. Edward, being Edward, fights his own jealous nature, most often to their mutual benefit. Here's a small preview.


It took me only an instant to flip over and climb on top of her, nibbling at her clavicle. “Oh Edward,” She breathed as I began my descent to her breasts, the peaks teasing me through the black lace.

“Yes?” I teased.

“More,” She begged.

“More what? You have to tell me love.” But I knew I was slowly driving her insane as I pulled the hem of the gown slowly up her legs. “What do you want baby?” I asked her as my hands slid under the fabric, gasping myself when I realized she wasn’t wearing underwear. That little minx. She knew what I wanted. She’ll pay for that…

“More of you,” She said breathily.

I smiled and pulled the gown up to her waist, taking in the view of my wonderful woman. Rose had talked her into a day at the spa since Alice still hadn’t been given her all-clear from the doctor, and Rose had also talked Bella into getting a Brazilian wax. Damn…my tongue was just itching to lap at her, my mouth was eager to taste her sweet nectar, but I wanted to hear what she wanted from me, so I waited.

I smiled again as she began to squirm. “What love? What do you want? Do you want me to touch you with my tongue? Do you want me to eat your pussy and lap at your juices? Bite your clit and fuck you with my tongue? Is that what you want?”

She writhed as my words assaulted her and she cried out, “Yes!”

I chuckled. “As you wish,” Before I dove into her.


For those of you who want a more aggressive Bella, I highly recommend the chapter, Control, which was deleted by fanfiction the first time around but mm1 put it back up after the story was completed.


“W-what the hell was that?” He asked.

I blushed as I untied the blindfold from his beautiful eyes. “It was candle wax.”

“Fuck me…shit. Holy hell and damn…”

I bit my lip as I began to untie him. “D-did you like it?” I asked meekly. The badass had retreated, and insecure Bella was inching her way back in.

He looked up at me and as soon as I had his right arm free, he brought his hand to my cheek and brushed it gently. “I loved it and I love you.”

I didn’t even realize I had tears in my eyes until one spilled over. “I love you more than life itself Edward. I would love to move in with you.”

He grinned and said, “Good.”


I don't think there are enough good things I can say about this story. I'm not a big Bella/Edward fan but I would recommend this even if it wasn't the story that introduced mm1 to me. We bonded over Alice pumping breastmilk for Jackson (the son she and Jasper have) so that she could go out for the evening. So to a story that spawned an amazing online friendship, requires several changes of panties, a box of batteries for your favorite toy, and has earned nearly 5,800 reviews- I give this four paws up. Yes, that means that fiberkitty is on her back. Take that (or me) as you will.


Once you've finished reading Miami at Twilight, I suggest you check out Jamie's other stories.


You Wanted More is post-Breaking Dawn. Rosalie decides she wants a baby. What happens when the human is someone called a Soul Seeker who has been looking for a vamp to change her? Will things go back to normal once the baby is born? Or will a new prophecy be revealed?


Bloody Sexy Boys (Think Backstreet Boys but sexier) When Emmett and Jasper leave for Nashville to become singers, they never imagined they'd meet up with Edward, Jake and Carlisle, thus, creating the band, Breakdown. Join them as they go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and back.


To Walk a Mile in My Shoes and Preggers and Proud: Freaky Friday meets all-human Twilight. Mile is a switch made between Rosalie and Emmett and PnP is between Alice and Jasper. These are great stories for discovering the depths of appreciation the couples have for one another. You can never understand what your spouse goes through until you walk a mile in his or her shoes.


There are more, a ton more, including the one-shot series we co-author, The Adventures of Alice and Emmett, which you can find on our profiles.

Friday, May 15, 2009

"Over the Top" by Starfish422


Our Guest Reviewer this week is Mozzer0906!!

This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: "Over the Top "
Author: Starfish422
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,988
Reviews: 1578
Summary: Slash: Edward is an unabashed pleasure-seeker, one of the club kings of the Seattle gay community. One night at his favorite club, he meets an enigmatic man who rocks the world he has created. JxE AH AU Rated M for language and explicit lemonsplosions.


Guest Reviewer - Mozzer0906 -

When starfish422 first published Over the Top, I told her it was my mission to get as many people in the fandom to read it as possible.

What would motivate me to take on such a challenge? One word: excellence. This work encompasses so many things I look for in a story: rich characterizations, great plot, super hot smut, and most importantly - fantastic writing. When I find a story like this, I am compelled to promote it at the top of my lungs. I have to thank the Perv Pack for asking me to be a guest reviewer, because not only does it aid me in my mission to get the word out, but I have the honor of discussing her story with such a wide audience.

As the story begins we meet Edward, who seems to be a smug, arrogant club boy whose main focus is finding someone to pleasure him. He is used to getting whomever he wants, whenever he wants them, and rarely does he grant anyone a repeat performance in the bedroom. This first impression of Edward is based on the character Brian Kinney from the television show Queer as Folk.

In the opening chapter, Edward spots this beautiful blonde boy at the edge of the dance floor and is drawn to him. Here we meet Jazz, who unlike most of the boys in the club seems impervious to the many charms of Edward Cullen. Jazz is the one in control this time, and by the end of the evening Edward gives himself over to Jazz in the bedroom. We are drawn in to what lies beneath the armor that has so carefully guarded Edward, and can’t help but cheer when he relinquishes the control he has obviously tried to maintain.

As the chapters progress you learn that the initial impressions of Jazz (who turns out to be Jasper) and Edward are merely the facades both of them have built to protect themselves. Starfish422 continues to peel back layer after layer of these characters, each time showing you more of the internal struggles these two have faced in their lives. We glimpse how they became the men they are today and how they continue to change and grow due to the influence of the other. The similarities to the show Queer as Folk are stripped away – except one. Queer as Folk was often heralded for accurately depicting the relationships between gay men; I believe that Over the Top delivers this same intimate accuracy to the fandom.

This Jasper (or Mathsper as I like to call him because he was a mathlete in high school) is one of my favorite characters in all of fanfiction. His capacity for patience, kindness and love seems limitless. Jasper is not a clichĂ© or the perfect man. He has the same insecurities and worries that we all do, but the way she writes him you want him to emerge from your screen and become your gay boyfriend. Jasper sees the good in Edward; he knows there is so much more to Edward than anyone else is willing to take the time to see. In the beginning Jasper’s huge heart has to beat for both of them, but as each chapter progresses you see Edward’s heart start to show signs of life after years of solitude and loneliness. Jasper coaxes him back into life little by little, never pushing too hard for Edward to become something he isn’t.

Where to start with this Edward? Watching Jasper resurrect his heart has been a treat. You want Jasper to heal him; you want Edward to say all of the things that Jasper can say so freely. Starfish422 does an excellent job showing the internal struggle from a man who has held everyone at arm’s length for ten years to a man who is finally starting to understand what he has sacrificed by not letting anyone in. In every scene you find yourself willing Edward to embrace love, begging for him to say those words, hoping against hope he will finally be whole enough to truly give his love to another.

The writing of the story has such a beautiful resonance. Starfish422 often finds the words to convey emotion or feeling that are so powerful they wrap around you and claim your heart and soul.

“His unassuming voice is a scalpel, carefully cutting away the dead pieces of my soul, never doubting that underneath he will find living flesh worth saving.”

This very well may be my favorite line of the entire story. Picking just one is nearly impossible because all of her prose carries such incredible power and beauty. I believe that is why this story owns me. It’s not because of the sex – which I am about to get to – but rather because of the way her words make me catch my breath when I read them, overwhelmed by their ability to say so much with so few words. No review of Over the Top would be complete without discussing the sex, which is as powerful as the story itself. Did I mention Edward has a sex ledge in his shower? A sex ledge, people! A custom made ledge in his shower for the sole purpose of ridiculously hot sex – and yes, it is used in the story. The writing of the sex scenes is so smoking hot that I’m surprised my computer hasn’t combusted from reading it. Starfish is able to convey so much of the raw unbridled passion these two share with her words.

The sex is just so ung-worthy I can’t even find the right words to discuss it without drooling all over my keyboard. Suffice it to say, the sex is very well written and smoking on fire hot.

In promoting this fic, I’ve found the biggest obstacle this story faces in growing its readership is the Jasper/Edward slash. Some people admit to just not reading slash at all because of the subject matter. If you are one of these people, read the story. You will not be disappointed. Skim over the sex if it makes you uncomfortable. Stay for the love, the beautiful strong emotions the story conveys, the accurate portrayal of young gay men in today’s society, and the rollercoaster of watching these two on their journey that we hope will end up with a happily ever after. Whatever road these two take as the story continues, I have no doubt that starfish422 will deliver. I also have no doubt if you give it a shot, you won’t be disappointed.

Give it a chance.


Bri- So, I'm normally a B&E kinda girl. I don't like to stray from that too much, but there are a few fics that I've taken the plunge for. The Trip Home , The Arrangement and All I Ever Knew
by our very own pervs are three that I've ventured out for. Since reading those, I have been more inclined to accept Edward/Jasper pairings and actually - dare I say - get turned the fuck on from them. Yep, I'm a slash lover I've found. Well, good slash, that is. Forunately, OTT falls into that category. It's a different take on the "man-whoreward", but the premise is much the same. Edward's been hurt and he's fairly damaged. He fucks around - sleeps with all the "twinks" as they call them at the hot Seattle gay bar. Then, enter Jasper. Immediately, they have some sort of connection - they are drawn to each other and we watch as almost all of Edward's walls come tumbling down within the first 48 hours of their meeting. I will say, I found it a bit unrealistic how easily he welcomed Jasper into his life - and the intimacy he found with him, given his stance prior. It didn't seem to me that someone as hurt as Edward would have given in so easily.

I'll admit, I read the following chapters with apprehension. I just couldn't quite wrap my mind around him dropping his facade so easily and so quickly. Well, turns out Starfish had a reason for that - enter the heartfail. It was apparent to me in the last couple of chapters that Edward wanted to be this other man for Jasper so badly, but with how quickly his "old self" emerged, I'm certain that it wasn't a permanent thing with Jasper. Edward has issues that he needs to work out for himself before he can truly be the man he wants to be for Jasper. And, Jasper has some 'splainin' to do...and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Now, what about the fucking smut, Bri?!?! Shit, sorry... Yes, the smut is....delicious. Hot and sensuous and loving and wild and hungry. It's tastefully done, yet still gets the juices flowing, if ya know what I mean. This baby gets 4/5 panties (or boxer briefs in honor of the boys) from me.


Emmy- I used to be a secret slash smut loving slag.. Now I am a public one! ;) Thanks firstly to the darling Hopey for that & of course the smashing Kathy... Hopey was the one who told me to read OTT. Dear god am I glad I did... (but I might blame her for some of the heart fail ~ just because I can! lol!) Like Bri - I am the ultimate B/E shipper. But there is something about Jasper & Edward when done well that is just erm plain magnificent....

This is more than plainly magnificent. Its sodding (!!) fabbio. What gripped me (apart from the accompanying tingles) was the amazing emotional connections and the brilliant development of both characters... This story really makes me think. Right from when first cotton on to their being more to Jasper's fascination with Edward than just seeing his bod writhing in 'Spin'.. (who can blame him?!) Ah Starfish's Edward is magnificent. A horribly tangled and vulnerable mess of beauty, talent, sex-appeal, lust, money, brains, OH and fucked-up, locked down emotions.... Yup as I said to Starfish in my last review he is an Ice King... Beautiful but metaphorically he is The Beast from Grimm's Beauty & the Beast... So if he is The Beast: Then Jasper is? Yup Beauty...

Jasper is beautiful, Edward's angel who touches him and finds a way through the ice and in like no one else has... But I don't think Jasper is really aware of what lurks beneath for Edward.. Or what the implications of his promises to Edward are... When things get complicated (Angst alert!!) Jasper doesn't know how to sort it out.. And Edward? His angel as Jasper is to him, becomes his fallen angel - wingless, unable to save him & without peace.. Without Edward Jasper feels wingless too..

Will they find their way back to each other.. Like Beauty will Jasper return & vow to tame the beast (that is symbolic of Edward's locked away emotions and vulnerability which are almost teenage in terms of his emotional development and approach to anything more meaningful than just fucking)? Will we get to read and feel their intense connection whilst reading some of the hottest sex...?.... Their sex has been hot, heavy, hungry, desperate, intense, tender, romantic, blazing and always more than just fucking.... Its intense and brings me intense pleasure!!!

I really cannot recommend this story enough.. If you are normally not sure about slash - do go read this its a very talented blend of emotions and tingles.. & their tangled love-affair is captivating due to the strength of the characters and the incredible development Starfish has written.. Until they get happy and horny together again I can only give it 4 missing knickers (or tighty whities if you prefer!) out of 5.. I will happily increase that to 5 out of 5 once the happiness returns. LOVE THIS STORY!!!


Hope- Just to be upfront about it, I am a fan of this story; i've linked the pack, featured it as my deviant pick of the week, rec'd it on the Ficster and told anyone who would listen and a few who wouldn't about OTT. So I would say i'm a fan, and all that follows is why. So I think I was the first in the pack to take notice of this gem of a story, but I'm not quite sure on that fact. I know it first came to my notice via an alert for the 'Graphic Lemons' C2 on ff.net when there were only 2 or 3 chapters. Usually I read the summary and delete, as I have become pickier in my smut perusing. But I was highly intrigued by this one; a multi-chaptered, Edward & Jasper slash with smut, oh hells yeah. At the time that OTT first posted I was amongst a small few that tackled this pairing and the genre. Yeah, if you didn't know I too write an Edward/Jasper slash multi-chaptered story, but that is where the comparison of the two ends. So I was all for having some company in that little corner of the fandom. There are a lot more slash fics out now, some of them great, some of them not so great. I think the greater number of slash fics in the fandom now is due in large part to OTT and Starfish's writing and tackling of the subject matter. I am an unabashed fangirl of slash, but good slash. It has to be good. And OTT is one of the rare good ones.

Anyways back on topic Hopey, OTT is more than just smut. And like my other reviewers I too think it takes a very realistic look at what a gay relationship in today's society looks like. Edward is a pleasure seeker of the highest order; he cares about nothing but his next fuck, of finding and bedding the next hot boy that crosses his path. He's a 'top' and the hottest one on the scene. Then one night he sees a blond across the room and is instantly drawn to him, blowing off the twink he had set his sights on previously. Going up to the blond and giving him his never failed him before line of “I want to make you sit on my nine-inch cock.” Yeah, right there I knew this was going to be fucking good. The blond we come to find is "Jazz", silent, cool, calm yet confident. The night progresses the boys end up at Edward's loft with Edward thinking this will be just another fuck for him. How very wrong he is. I must admit I had a little penis envy when Jazz kneels before Edward and takes him into his mouth. After some coaxing and one mother of a blowjob Edward relents and 'bottoms' having a life-altering experience in the process. We soon find out that Jazz is not who he claims to be and that there is a shared past between the two.

Thus begins the tale of Edward and Jasper in 'Over the Top'. I'm not going to give you a blow by blow (snicker) of what happens next, read for yourself and uncover the beauty of this story. Needless to say Edward and Jasper become "Edward and Jasper". A concept so foreign, yet surprisingly welcome for Edward. He repeatedly calls Jasper a 'dangerous subversive boy' for changing or altering his outlook or views on himself, relationships and what it is to be a 'Gay' man. Edward and Jasper have very different experiences with coming to terms with their sexuality, coming out and their first forays into sex. It shapes them into who they are and offers two very complex and opposite views on homosexuality and being Gay in today's society.

At one point a sense of loneliness takes over Edward "I wished for the balloon to return to my chest; but now that it’s there, I’m absolutely aware that the balloon, expanded and taut, is also empty – completely vacant. I have spent so much time by myself; yet I have never felt so utterly alone. How could I have wished for this?" But what Edward doesn't yet realize is that the balloon is filled, it's filled with love. Love, such a foreign and alien emotion that it takes forever for him to recognize it. Its passages like this that set OTT apart from the rest. And I am not just talking in the slash genre either. Starfish mixes and meshes words and imagery rarely found in fanfiction with emotions, actions, dialogue and some hot fucking smut to create a beautiful, lush and rich story of love between two men. I'm not gonna lie, the story is in a bit of heartfail at the moment, but Starfish assures us that all will be righted with our boys soon.

I haven't talked about the smut yet, but it is fucking hot and makes me want to be a gay man for a quick minute so I could experience some sexing like the sexing that Starfish writes. There is a sex ledge and I am pretty sure that all fics need sex ledges now in some form or another. 'Viva La Sex Ledge'. Starfish writes the man lovin ' the proper way, and I don't mean grammatically, though that does apply. What I mean is that she takes the steps to properly portray what it's like for two men have sex. The first rule of slash is proper use of lube. For the love of all that is holy use the fucking lube, people. And Fishy does so props and kudos to her!! My favorite smutty scene, besides the first one is in Jasper's tub during a bubble bath engineered by Edward. guh. Panty ruining at its finest.

But what I think I love the most about this story is that it helps to break the stereotype that all Gay man are simply out to fuck. That gay men are sluts and only care about getting off. OTT shows us how a homosexual relationship can be loving, committed and monogamous, and bravo to her for doing it. For giving us a different view on how it can be.

Seriously I could go on and fucking on. Just go read it, trust me on this one. Even if you are not a fan of slash I can almost guarantee that you will love this story. 4.5 out of 5 boxers from me.


Kathy- One of the nicest things about this story is the style of writing. For some reason, it's sometimes difficult for me to read present tense and have it come across properly. Starfish422 has managed to write in a beautiful, luxurious manner, in present tense, and I don't find my brain catching or snagging in any parts. Saying the writing style is one of the nicest things here is saying a lot, considering the smexin' good times and emotion packed in.

Often, I find a story is either really good at conveying emotion or really good at conveying the naughty times. It is a rare gem that combines the two in a thoughtful way; this is one of those rare gems – straight, gay, what-the-fuck-ever.

Yes, the story is currently in a state of heartfail. Will it always be there? I don't think so. I have no clue where Starfish422 is going, but I do have faith and confidence in her ability to do this story justice, no matter the outcome. I really don't like angst, but I can generally do okay with heartfail. One of my favorite lines so far has been from Chapter 16, "The colors that have illuminated my life for the last two weeks – they all smear and run into one hideous, nameless shade of desolate." Who hasn't felt that way? Again, gay, straight, whatever, you can relate to this story, and that is a critical component, IMHO, to an excellent story. 4 out of 5 boxers.


Miya- I love slash and loved the first two chapters I had time to read. Sadly, even with loading it onto my iPod, real life is getting in the way. 5 out of 5 panties for what I've read so far.


Nina- I am wholly unapologetic in my infinite love of slash, good slash that is. Being a fan of Queer as Folk (which this is loosely based from), when Hope told me of this story I immediately jumped on it, because I know Hope knows her slash. Holy hot Edward and Jasper slash ladies.

Edward is the strong, confident, sexually agressive and passionate man, until he meets Jazz. A man from his past that completely turns his life on it's ear but in a wonderful way. Now don't get me wrong, Edward doesn't lose ANY of his sexy hotness, not in the least. Instead he channels into something infinitely sexier by embracing his new life with Jasper.

Meeting at the club, the first chapter leads you to believe that it's just going to be Edward getting his way and continuing his usual escapades. What he doesn't realize is that Jasper gifts him with a new found lease in life. He breaks down the walls that Edward has buillt and shows him the true meaning of being in a relationship.

I agree with Mozzer that one of the biggest misconceptions with slash fics is that they're just smut. Many readers don't give slash stories a chance but honestly, do as she says and skip the smut (though I'm quite sure you'll enjoy it too) but just read it for the way that Starfish portrays their relationship. I'm sorry but the gay community isn't just about one-night stands and getting high rosters of partners. It's such an awful stereotypical view of gay relationships and honestly? It fucking drives me insane. But Starfish, with OTT, debunks that those narrow minded views with OTT. Yes, there is smut and yes it is passionate, hot, sexy and all around fucking fantastic BUT, they're still men in a relationship and honestly, it makes it the smut that much better.

I'm not saying that there aren't other stories out there that embrace a true and realistic relationship. Trust me, I can rattle off numerous ones, but I really appreciate the way Starfish writes this story and I know you'll love it too. 4/5

I need to mention that as part of the Friday Free-For-All on Twilighted, Starfish participated with a fantastic o/s called We Three. Trust me you will not be disappointed when reading it. Guh. 5/5


Steph- I completely and utterly adore this fic. I was totally screwed up this week and reread the wrong fic, so I will have my proper review added as soon I have reread OTT. But for now, I will say that I FUCKING LOVE this story and drop everything to read the updates. Well written Jasper/Edward slash is a huge turn on for me and this story is the epitome of well written. 10 out of 5 from me, hush, I can do it if I want to! (And Katie- you share a name with my daughter, btw- I will be back with my adoring, fangirl squeeing review as soon as I finish pulling my head out of my ass.)




In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the author to share with us a bit about herself...

Hello, fellow Pervlings! I'm totes excited that Over The Top is this week's featured story in the Smut Shack.

So, a little about me - I'm Katie, a happily married mama of two bbs, ages 9 and 5 (and I've caught my limit). In December, I left a 14-year career in the insurance industry and decided to take a couple of months off. I thought it would be nice to just hibernate, especially in the midst of an Ontario winter. Little did I realize how fortuitous the timing would be. I'd read all four Twilight books in the month of December. My girl Shannon knew from prior discussions that I'm a big fan of Queer as Folk; she thought I might be interested in some Twilight fic, and particularly slash. It coincided nicely with the beginning of my self-imposed unemployment, and gave me the chance to devote a *lot* of time to fanfic (you know, the important stuff).
When I started writing OTT, my only intention was to write a smutty Twilight-QAF crossover, a one-shot slashfic. I shared it with my girls Shannon and Gen after I was about three quarters through what is now Chapter 1; and Shannon said, more than once, "I would totally put this on my alerts if you wrote more than one chapter..." And honestly, it just kept flowing. As I've said in my chapter notes, Jasper had things to say in this one - I couldn't leave it at one chapter.

The reaction to OTT has been overwhelming for me. For whatever reason, slash tends not to get the same following that hetero fic does; despite that, the massive heartfail that was Chapter 16, has received 183 reviews as I write this. So many readers have shared their insights and personal experiences with me, and it's a huge honour to have male and female readers, gay and straight and various shades between. I've gotten the chance to get to know some of the amazing authors whose work we love; as well as the readers who show so much love and support for us and for these characters we create.

I've been into fanfic for a while, most notably for QAF; and a little bit of Prison Break fic (don't laugh too loudly, bbs) when the hiatus between seasons felt too long. I am firmly convinced, however, that with Twilight, the world of fan fiction has gone from "fringe community", to much more mainstream. The very existence of fan fiction in general has seeped into the consciousness of many, many more people, IMO, than before the Twilight series. And I'm very much honoured to be a part of it.

Please check out my blog, which is a companion to OTT and other projects. http://starfish422.blogspot.com/

Mad props to Hopey, Nina and Steph/Purdueliz, the PPSS chicas I've gotten to know; and the rest of the Pack. You do an amazing job of shakin' the Shack, my darlings.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Purdue Liz likes "Date Night"

Title: "Date Night"
Author: Red Chevy
Chapters: one-shot
Words: 4,803
Reviews: 68
Summary: One shot. Written for the Dirty Talking Edward Contest. Edward is anxious to see Bella again after a week apart, making plans for their reunion. What happens when Bella has made plans of her own? AU AH OOC BXE. First Fanfic.


Ahhh, dear Pervlings, it’s my turn to bring you a one-shot. So I pulled up my favorites and started searching through it to find the perfect one. And when I say searching, I mean it; there are 216 stories in my favorites. I’m looking and looking, and I keep coming back to one of my all-time favorites. Date Night by RedChevy.

We start with our dear Edward, on shift at the hospital, reliving some of his favorites memories with Bella. It’s finally Date Night for them, a ritual they’ve developed and he’s pondering who he’ll be that evening. Mr. Slow and Gentle or Mr. Rough and Hard.

We get taken back to the night he first discovered how Bella loves a dirty talking Edward (and I mean really, who doesn’t?).

“Just when you think you can’t take anymore, I want to take you to the bedroom, bend you over the end of the bed and fuck you, hard. Pounding into you until you shout my name so loud the neighbors will know exactly who you belong to.”

Where was I? Oh, yes. Edward arrives home and falls into bed, only to be awakened by Bella who is intent on staking her claim on him.

“Shhhh…. Plans have changed, Edward. Tonight I am going to make you scream my name until you’re hoarse,” she said quite matter-of-factly.

And I’m going to leave this little gem right there, so that you can read it for yourselves. I’ll just say, I want to be this Bella. Having Edward bound, to do with as I wish. Now, run over and read it for yourselves and then leave Red a whole lot of love (she really likes that!).

As I was digging, I came across an author for the HP fandom that I absolutely adore. And I remembered that she had a lovely little gem that I really felt was worth sharing. It’s called Twilight Movie Madness by dracosoftie and here’s the summary: A short PWP in honor of the release of Twilight, which opens in the U.S. on Friday. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Draco and Pansy talk about the Twilight book series.

I know that many of us are HP fans as well, and this one is just too good not to share, I promise you’ll be amused. (PS- I love everything dracosoftie has written.)

So go, read Date Night and then grab your man for some Date Night fun of your own. Then settle in for a good laugh at the HP characters discussing our beloved Twilight!