Saturday, April 30, 2011

The winner of the Pervy Picsperation Banner Challenge is...

  Wet by Tkegl

Please visit here to see the big reveal.

I (Emmy) had a couple of faves, that I would love to see turned into a story....

I love how this one (Number 5) as I think the use of photographs/polaroids within the banner has a really good effect.
Number 5

I think that this one has used manips really well, so that they fit with both the spirit of the original pics AND the banner. (oh & it would be a sexy story too!)
Number 6

I really like how this banner, looked really slick and quite unique from other banners I have seen. Plus I think would make such a fabbio story premise!
Number 17

We would like to thank everyone that participated, and we hope that they will be back in four or five weeks for our next challenge.

If you are interested in adopting any of the banners that were made for this challange go over to the adoption thread in the TwiFicPics’s forum.

Feel free to contact with any questions.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Pervy Picspiration


Emmy wants your words. (amongst other things...) Every week Emmy will post a pic or 2 - containing phwoarrrr-worthy blokes from across the seas, some hunks from closer to home and sometimes some dangerously delish knickers and lingerie. What do we want from you in return? Well...... We want you to be inspired by these pics and to leave Emmy a delish drabble or longer story inspired by the pic(s).

Leave your story offering in the comments section and, if you want to, post it to your FF account (pm the link to Emmy at mentioning the PPSS, by the following Wednesday. Each Friday Emmy will reveal her fave (entirely personal & subjective opinions belonging to Emmy) and at the same time post the next pervy picspiration for your pleasure. Non-Canon writers don’t despair - Emmy might be tragically WussPerv©, but there are plenty of equal opportunity pervs in the pack longing to read those if Emmy turp’s out.

Emmy is DYING to see what dirty delights you are going to come up with...

*Please make sure your story offering is in line with our mission statement

I have to say to you darling pervlings, I am a wee bitty disappointed, I was so hoping for lots of biting action, or new words from you with last week’s selection of lovely pics....

I am NEVER disappointed by, and in fact, I am so delighted not just to see the return of our lovely dellaterra but also that it is a naughty teasy taster for a brand new WIP story from her!

dellaterra has returned to tease... Pervy Picspiration Drabbles Chapter 15 So we know that somone is turned on by the way Bella wears her naughty knee socks... But who is it? Especially when we hear how jealous they get by Bella and Edward’s dalliances....

And do remember we are now linking with TwiFicPics for a monthly pervtastic banner competition! Read more about it here Pervy Banner TwiFicPics Competition We announced March’s winner last month! Winner of Pervy Picspiration Banner There were lots and lots of fabbio banners made, go have a look!
Get busy with and go look at the great entries in April’s competition! It’s OPEN NOW

So PLEASE go show dellaterrasome review love. I always long for more from her. So make her see how good her stories are - please!

So in honour of the Royal Wedding today (Fri 29th). We have come over all with wedding bells... So give me naughty shenanigans amongst the guest, or wedding party, gimme honeymoon honey’s and hubba-hubba’s! Just write me some smutty good times!
Write anything that these picture inspire.....

Write me anything - be it Slash, FemmeSlash, AU or AH, canon or even OOC... Be it a drabble, be it a one-shot or be it a WIP, just write for me. Make it sexy, make it sweet and tender, make it sensuous, erotic or downright naughty. Your call. Just let the inspiration take you - be you a BNA or an innocent virgin, wanting your Pervy Picspiration cherry popped for fun.

I’m waiting.........

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


The Naughty Nurse is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

I am, er, quite loud when I'm into it. Problem is, I don't live alone. When I used to have a guy around it was less embarrassing, because everyone makes noise when they have sex. But I don't want my roommates to know I'm masturbating; that's just embarrassing. I use earphones when I watch porn, so that's that. But I don't know what to do about my own voice. I've taken to masturbating when I'm the only one home, but sometimes I'm so worked up that I just want to go straight up to my room and have a good wank. But I can't if the others are home, because, like I said, I'm quite loud. Any advice?

Hmm. This is a tough one. Part of me wants to tell you to just go for it and not hold back, because I don't want you to feel stifled when you masturbate; it isn't called self pleasure for nothing, after all. However, in our society, it's not necessarily cool to go at it with yourself within earshot of your roommates. To some people, it can border on rude to be so thoughtless. Ultimately, I want you to feel comfortable masturbating whether your roommates are home or not.

As a parent, I've had to master the art of stealth sex, which isn't easy, especially when you're having really hot sex. It's hard to learn the stealthy part, especially if you are used to making noise. I think one of your issues may be the fact that you wear headphones, which limits your ability to gauge your own sound level. What sounds soft to you may be incredibly loud to your roommates. Perhaps it might be best to use headphones on one ear, leaving the other one open to hear exactly how loud you are being.

Another suggestion is background music. I'm not saying it has to be loud, but enough so that is detracts from any noises you might be making. It would work kind of like white noise. I'm hesitant to suggest a pillow or piece of clothing, because there is a risk of accidentally suffocating yourself with those methods. I think you simply need to experiment by trying very hard not to vocalize. Touch yourself, but put your other hand over your mouth. Work your way up to getting very aroused, and see how well you can do. It's more a matter of practice than anything else.

The bottom line here is that your roommates might just end up hearing you masturbating sometimes, and there won't be anything you can do about it. Nearly all of us masturbate, whether we have a partner or not, so it isn't like you're doing something taboo, after all. If you find a way that works best for you, please let me know, so I can pass it along to other readers.

I am SO glad to have discovered this place, because I have been way too embarrassed to ask before. But finding this place, seeing the type of questions asked and the no-judegement and completely frank responses has finally given me courage to ask, so here goes.

It has been a while since I've been in a relationship. Soon after the last one ended, I came to the decision that I didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to enjoy being single. But, obviously, I missed sex, so I tried a sex-buddies kind of thing, but that didn't work. And reading saucy romance novels to fill the void in my sex life didn't help at all, as they were too flowery nowhere near as sexy enough for my tastes.

Only recently I've become happy with not having a man (read: cock) around. This happened around the same time I discovered fanfiction (mostly Harry Potter, as I've never really gotten into the Twilight fandom) and started browsing online porn. Both have been quite a revelation, as I have discovered things that I like (and I mean really, really like) that I had no idea about before. However, a lot of my internet searches have proven quite fruitless, so I'm hoping you might be able to direct me in the right place.

Firstly, if you read Harry Potter fanfiction, can you recommend any particular sites which include, either exclusively or extensively, erotic fanfiction? My particular preference is Marauder-era fanfiction (I don't know why... the first story I came across just happened to be a Lily/James story).

Secondly, I've really found myself enjoying porn a surprising amount. I actually became quite addicted to it a while back as it really, really helps me masturbate. But the problem is, most of the online porn I've found is (obviously) targeted at men and is rather crude. Strange thing is, as I'm also sexually attracted to women (I hesitate to label myself as bisexual, because my interest in women is far more selective), I do like watching two women together, and I'm definitely into big breasts; so I shouldn't have that much of a problem with the porn material I've found. But... well, sometimes it just leaves me wanting. Do you know of any porn sites that is more geared to a female audience?

I have to say, it fills me with warm fuzzies to know that women feel safe submitting questions for Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy. You will always receive non-judgmental, factual information from me. Trust.

I commend you for figuring out that you really want to enjoy being single. It takes a lot of maturity and self-confidence to be comfortable enough with yourself to prefer that option. Good for you. Naturally, being single does bring with it the fact that you don't have a regular partner, so you can end up having less sex than you prefer. I also applaud you for trying to do Friends With Benefits, but deciding that it didn't work for you. I'm really impressed with your ability to go for what you want in your sex life, and not to settle for something less.

I appreciate that romance novels don't quite do it for you; I'm not a big fan of the genre, either. In fact, I nearly didn't even read Twilight because I have such a bias against romance novels. But I digress...

I may have let loose some silent squees of solidarity when you discovered the thrill of the steamier side of fanfiction--welcome to the club. It's an incredibly liberating experience to find other women who embrace the inherent pleasure of having sex, as well as their sexuality. It was a real revelation for me, too. For example, until I read The Submissive by Tara Sue Me, I had no idea that BDSM was something that could be incredibly appealing and hot.

While I'm not into the Harry Potter fandom myself, I do have a lot of online friends who are. I asked my good friend Cesca Marie for some ideas on good Harry Potter erotica. Here are the sites she recommended:

Adult Fanfiction


Eros n Sappho



If you want to do your own search on, we suggest narrowing your searches by character and rating.

I'm not surprised to learn that you are open-minded enough to take a good look at yourself and recognize that you while might not be an avowed bisexual or a lesbian, you might not be completely straight, either. To reassure you, there are a lot of people out there just like you; welcome to the ranks! Free toaster ovens to all new recruits! Here are some ideas for finding good, lesbian-produced porn that isn't necessarily geared toward straight men:

Candida Royale

Best lesbian porn by and for lesbians

HBO's documentary Pornucopia, episode 5

You can also do a Google search of porn production companies that are owned by lesbians and use real lesbians in their films. Good luck to you!

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Going Deep: The Wolf Pack, pt. 2

The Equal Opportunity Whores, Chele and Teal, are going to explore some of the naughtier and more unusual trends, kinks, and pairings in the Twific universe. We’ll be discussing what intrigues us, why it’s sexy, and where we can find it. As upstanding members of Team Anything Goes, you can expect the unexpected.

Chele & Teal have a special guest today: Resident Pack Perv, Einfach Mich is guest whoring with us, because The Pack is simply too much sexy for us not to share.

Going Deep with The Pack - Part II
We’re going to come right out and say it, the wolfpack is fucking sexy. A crew of muscled, half naked, well-sculpted knights in shining (errr, furry) armor - What’s not to love? These are soldiers in the battle between good and evil, who bravely put their lives on the line to protect their families, their tribe, and all-too-frequently, Bella.
Whether you’re in the mood for the smokin’ hot boy-next-door (Jacob), you’re feeling a little more volatile (Paul), or you need someone who can always make you laugh (Embry), there’s something for everyone here in the pack.

Here is a little taste of the variety we are talking about:

Sam/Bella: Blue Jeans and Band-Aids by YellowGlue It’s so rare that Sam actually gets a choice in who his attraction is directed to, and part of what makes this story so special is exactly that - Sam’s compulsion-free, yet unbridled desire. His tenderness is tempered by a predatory edge of age and experience. Every seemingly innocent interaction between Sam and Bella is loaded with sexual tension and the beautiful gift of free will.

Embry / Angela: A Kind of Library by MeraNaamJoker Angela is used to being sexiled by her longtime friend and roommate Bella whenever her boyfriend Jake comes to visit for the weekend, but on this particular night, Jake brings his friend Embry along. Embry finds Angela at her work-study job in the library, and when the power goes out, things heat up between these two strangers. The chemistry between them is immediate, and though there’s not a lot of dancing around the hows and whys of their attraction, it’s undeniable. It’s a safe assumption to say that a lot of people out there got it on in their college library while they were in school . . . and those of us who didn’t wish they had. Live vicariously through Angela, friends. It’s delicious.

Sam/Bella/Paul: An Unexpected Menage a Trois by BBSapphire24 A lot of threesome/poly fics feel unrealistic or contrived (not saying that we don’t like that kind too!), but what we love about this one is that it feels believable. Without giving too much away, Sam and Bella are best friends, and on this particular night, Bella is determined to show Sam that she wants to take their relationship in a different direction. She gets more than she bargained for when she shows up to the party and find sparks flying not only with Sam, but also with Paul, their other good friend (who Bella had a one-time make out session with a while back). The title should make it clear that things turn out wilder than Bella anticipated, but whether this story is a triangle threesome or a V, you’ll just have to read to find out!

Jacob/Jessica: Where Do We Go Now But Nowhere? by Jacina night feather A chance encounter sparks passion between Jacob and Jessica, both of whom are recovering from a bit of disappointment. Though things start out physical, their common realities forge a bond between them that only history can break. While the pairing of Jacob and Jessica together may cause the raising of an eyebrow, Jacina night feather pulls this off so brilliantly you’ll be a believer.

Jacob/Bella:The Fragrant Taste of the Rain by PavartiThough we tend to spend our time humping AU Jacob/Bella, this one is a little something special, so we’re humping their human counterparts too. In his typical style, Jacob helps Bella to recover from the loss of her ex, Edward, with his dogged persistence and disarming lightness of being. However, this Jacob? is not only a mechanical genius, but also a gifted sculptor, and retired military. *wipes drool* Beautifully written, and smoking hot.

The Imprint - Compulsion: a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will.

While there are things about imprinting that we are not so hot on (see: lack of choice) it is also an awesome fantasy plot device which lets authors pair the most challenging of couples and show us how they could possibly be made for each other. When it works? It’s brilliant and turns us on like crazy.

What is it about Bella and Paul that makes imprinting seem right? Probably because without supernatural intervention, they would never have spoken civilly to each other, and, therefore, gotten to the point where they could see how perfect they are together.

Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella by MeraNaamJoker If you haven’t already checked out the Team Anything Goes recommendation of this story, go now. We went on for days about it because it is Just. That. Good. If you need further motivation, we’ll say this: Paul/Bella, dirty, hot fucking and a need that can’t be sated any other way. UNF. We’d marry this fic & have it’s babies if we could.

Be Like Water by taoist elf There’s nothing quite like a good AU to help you pretend that pesky things like Breaking Dawn never happened. In addition to being generally awesome, this fic shows brilliant use of sensual/non-sexual intimacy between Bell and Paul while in wolf form. You know how they say having a pet can lower your blood pressure? Having your confrontational lover turn into a wolf may make it easier to talk to him, and make you less likely to want to hit him in the face.
This story takes the moment from New Moon movie canon where Paul explodes into a ball of furry fury after Bella slaps him, and sees them through the tumultuous forging of their imprint bond and beyond. The intensity between Bella and Paul is heady and erotic. Their polar personalities both cause friction, and convince of their complimentary nature. taoist elf takes Edward’s canon characteristics, to the extreme, giving them a sinister twist; and thereby, giving Paul a reason to fight for Bella.
Action-packed, sex-for-the-sake-of-character-development awesomeness.

Leah - We admirably refer to her as the bitch of the pack, a title bestowed with respect. Despite having been betrayed by her fiance and best friend, she channels her hurt into a stony rage, unlike Bella’s zombie state, and still shows up for her duties to the pack. In short, Leah kicks ass, and we’re glad to see that some fics give her the respect she deserves.

The First Five Times by Stretch If there is anyone who can break through canon Leah’s stony facade, it is Embry, whose earnestness and humor are a persistent grace.
Though they refer to themselves as “The Bitch and the Bastard” this is so much more than a tale about bitterness and isolation. It’s two lost souls desperately resisting a connection, who eventually embrace the fact that they have been given the chance to choose one another.

Hair of the Dog by mjinaspen Few A/H fics capture the canon edge to Leah’s personality like Hair of the Dog. The passion in the erotic moments between Leah and Edward are only matched by the passion in their arguments. This story is a roller coaster of intensity. While MJ never promises hearts and rainbows with her happy endings, she’s going to give Leah what we all wanted for her, hope, resiliency, and a greater belief in her own worth.

White Christmas by mkystich It’s Christmas and, unsurprisingly, being surrounded by her packmates and their imprints, Leah is feeling the ache of lonliness and rejection. An intense, physical encounter between Leah and Sam reminds her that what they had was real, and that even the power of an imprint can’t erase his love and desire for her, even if it doesn’t change anything.

Slashin’ the PackWe love those wolves, and we’re Pervs. Therefore, we love seeing them slashed up. Are you with us or are you with us?

Forks Host Club by Nanamun Jacob and Emmett work in a classy escort club, providing companionship and entertainment to the lonely ladies of Forks and beyond. One night after work, Emmett reveals to Jake that a kiss he shared with Edward at the request of a client. Jake’s answering admission to having done that and more, pushes Emmett to explore boundaries and attractions he’d previously denied. It’s a unique story with sex so hot it will melt your eyeballs.

Stars by fngrdust We would be completely and utterly remiss if we didn’t include a story that is not only well-written and a gorgeous portrayal of Leah, but it’s also femmeslash! A collaborative effort between lightstardusting and fngrcufs, Stars is the story of childhood best friends. The angst is strong in this fic, so be warned, but it’s worth every ounce of it to get the hot, much anticipated hook up between these two fierce woman, and also what they each learn about themselves and the other in the end.

The Boy, The Boyfriend and the Ex by hidingfromsomeone What could be hotter than Emmett and Paul sexiness? Emmett, Paul AND Jacob sexiness. Enough said. Read Now, thank us later.

The City by artbeatsandlife Though we loved on this Emmett/Paul fic when the Equal Opportunity Whores brought you Big Gay Emmett (as well as a very fun Team Slash rec), we just couldn’t resist mentioning it here. That’s how much we love it!

Fire and Ice - Turns out that even a little thing like being natural born enemies can’t reign in desire.

Ephraim/Rosalie: Reflections on History by SleepySheep683 gives us a wickedly canon glimpse into the root of Rosalie’s animosity toward Jacob, by filling us in on the time she spent knowing, and loving, Ephraim Black. Before finding Emmett, during the Cullen’s first stay in Forks, a still raw and broken Rosalie found friendship, acceptance and passion in the arms of her natural enemy. This one shot gives so much depth to both characters, and a history which explains so much about Rose’s desire to push Jacob away. He reminds her too much of the love she couldn't keep.

Seth/Jasper: Howl by Dahlia J Black Though longing and internal struggle shadow the foreground of this fic, the sexual tension is so strong and thick that it’s impossible to stop reading. As a BD AU, we find Seth struggling not only with his infatuation with Edward but also the reactions and ridicule of the pack, considering their ability to see inside his head. Just when he thinks he can’t take it any longer, Jasper comes along. But that’s not the end at all. It’s a short piece, so there’s no excuse not to read it!

Paul/Jasper: A Year With a Wolf by robpat A year of stolen moments with Paul show Jasper that the only peace and comfort he will find in forever is in the arms of his forbidden love.

We’ve enjoyed whoring our way through the wolf pack, and we hope you did too! If you have any favorite Pack fics that we missed, please share in the comments below. If you read any of the fics we’ve rec’d today, be sure to leave those authors some much deserved love. And finally, here are a few other fics we think you might enjoy if you find yourself wandering through La Push or along the shores of First Beach:

The Definition of Want by Audreyiific

Zenith by Majesta Moniet

First and Last by Taoist Elf

Echoes by Darkira

Revenge Cake by restlessxpen

The Taming by artbeatsandlife

Lone Wolves by adharmic

And don’t forget to check out one of our lovely PPSS affiliates, Phase Fics who are devotees of pack love, and have many more great recs to share.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Lemon Report 4/26/11

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.


Teal - Crystal Beachin’, AKA Heart is one of the storylines in Rochelle Allison’s current WitFit prompts thread. This one in particular began in Chapter 5, and has been completely silly, indulgent, and goofy from the beginning. These two crazy characters finally decided to get busy, and I enjoyed the lemony little gigglefest. Ro is such a great author, and her ability to pull off something like this makes me love her even more!

Jess - I adore Crystal Beachin’ and was at the beach with Ro when this story line was envisioned! The black hoodie boy, squeaky sand (seriously it did), the window shower, drunken late night encounters, and the guys next door made for serious entertainment. This storyline is sweet and sassy and hot!

AH, OS, Jasper/Bella

Chele - Bella’s never really been sexually satisfied by a man. Jasper ends that losing streak with his filthy mouth. This is the perfect combination of sexy and funny, equal parts lol and Unf. Yes please. This is my choice this week for quick and dirty.

Jess - There is seriously something hot about dirty talk. Enuf said. Unf!

Jen - One-handed read, anyone? FY.

AH ,WIP, Jake/Bella

Jen - Jake and Bella have been toeing the line of will they or won’t they for a few chapters. Jake’s been willing from the get-go. Now that Bella’s on board? Oh, my. You will need a change of panties after this chapter. UNF!

Chele - So glad Jen shared this fic with me. I am enthralled. This last chapter was steaming hot. So awesome. I feel impending heartache, but I have faith in the awesomeness of the pairing and the undeniable pull of Bella to Jake.

Jess - I’ve been convinced to read this. I’m on it! Stat!


Jess - This story has owned me from the minute I started reading it. There was so much goodness in the most recent update, but the scene between Edward and Riley and Jasper (you just have to read to understand) was hot and so intense. There’s something really beautiful about the connections between each of these boys. The other scene, the one at the end where Edward and Jasper are essentially saying goodbye was heartbreaking and beautiful and made me so sad. We are in a very sad part, and I expect it to get worse before it gets better. But if you aren’t reading this story or Touchstone67’s others, do yourself a favor and get on it like right now. Her words are beautiful.

Chele - The intensity and openness between these boys when Riley is involved is really stunning. It made my heart swell.... and my pants.

Liz - This one is killing me slowly, but in a way I’m happy to endure. The sexual intensity leaps off the page, and the emotional intensity squeezes your heart in a vice that never lets go. The love scene - and that’s exactly what it is - between Beautiful and Riley is so tender and passionate it just breaks your heart. Then the real heartbreak kicks in, when Jasper and Edward make love one last time before Edward has to leave.


Liz - This fic was written as a contest entry last fall, but BettefechtiG is expanding it. Her chapters are so wonderful that I gobble them up as soon as they show up in my inbox. The last two chapters have been very powerful as Edward and Bella get swept up in the intensity of their bond, and Edward struggles with oversharing with Esme the intimate nature of his relationship with Bella. Beautifully, sensitively, passionately written.

Jen - I am so looking forward to seeing how BettefechtiG handles the blooming love affair between Edward and Bella and what is bound to be a very interesting conversation between Esme and Bella.


Jen - PandoraGalacia was inspired a few weeks ago by a picture in Emmy’s Pervy Picspirations. That original o/s turned into five chapters, then another five chapters of an alternate ending. The Story of E is a continuation of the alternate ending, and chapter 7 is 1,735 words of complete and utter hotness. I’m talking zero to horny in two minutes. So. Damn. Hot.

Emmy - I love it when someone keeps going from my Pervy Picspirations. I love how this story is pure smutty fun, as Edward and Jasper discover just how compatible they truly are...


Jess - I have a soft spot for period stories. I blame it on all the historical romance novels I read in my “formative” years. At any rate, this story is full of fun sexy times, but I particularly loved this update because Bella took the initiative and woke Edward up for a little fun. For a woman as unsure as Bella in the medieval era, this was a huge. Not to mention there’s armor and sword fighting.

AH, O/S, Jake/Bella

Jen - Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? This hot o/s has Bella counting the minutes til her paramedic boyfriend Jake finishes a week of night shifts. After a restorative nap, they get down to some serious sexytimes. Oh, and Emmy- two words for you: cum play.

Jess - And so continues my new love for Jake/Bella stories. This one was a small little bit of hot, sexy times. Fun!

AH, Complete, E/B

Jen - kyla713 has given the no longer long-distance lovers the send off they deserve in the epilogue. The last line is perfect, and so totally them, I just loved it. Oh, and there’s birthday sex. Yum.

AH, O/S, Carlisle/Riley SLASH

Emmy - Single Strand is one of those authors I have only recently discovered, this is a great wee fun slashy slice. Carlisle is older, wiser and completely smitten by his little bitchy tease of a boyfriend Riley. Games ensue. I love how Riley is finally getting some slashy fic, love... More of my fave pairing of Edward/Riley please folks.....

Jen - I am seriously wondering how the hell I don’t have Single Strand on author alert yet. *runs to fix this* I plan to read this and another recently posted o/s ASAP!

Jess - Word! Ditto to Jen!


Jen - Perhaps I’m the last person on the planet to jump on the Twinned and Seventeen Men train, I don’t know. I do know that every time Edward comes to spend some time at the ranch, there is some amazing boysecks. Add points for when Jasper says ‘purely.’


Jess - We’ve been humping this fic since what feels like the beginning, but as it wraps soon, I wanted to take a second and love all over this last chapter. To me, watching Edward take in what he looks like bound and flushed and wanting and seeing what Bella sees... and then the intense hot, fast, hard sex that came after... perfection!

Trin - I am just going to pretend that Jess didn’t say this was wrapping up soon...I’ll just get all sad thinking of that. However, this last chapter was AMAZING! Utterly fantastic.

Emmy - I know I always love all over this story and Theladyingrey42’s updates. But seriously. This is so good. Edward’s growth, he’s come so far. No longer ashamed of his sexuality and sexual needs.

Liz - it has been such an amazing journey to watch this story, and Edward, come full circle. It made me understand this lifestyle an such an intimate and personal way. It almost seems trivial to describe what he and Bella share as a “lifestyle” when it is such a core aspect of their personalities and their bond to each other. I will truly hate to see this one end. Even if BDSM isn’t your thing, there is so much raw emotion and amazing personal growth I think you’ll still find it an amazing read.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Team Anything Goes: Red by 22blue


Team Angst is a constantly changing teams, depending on who can handle the angst levels of the Team Angst pick. Only the bravest (or craziest) Pervs tackle the tears and pain to bring you the best angst and heartfail that fan fic has to offer. Non-canon pairings? No problem. Cheating and Break-ups? No sweat. Character death? Bring it! It’s all in a days work for Team Angst. So if you think you’re tough enough put on your big girl pants, take a seat and join us for the Team Angst Pick.

The Team Angst Pick is...
Title: Red
Author: 22Blue
Words: 38,096
Reviews: 495
Winner in the Beyond the Pale Contest. "As she walked by, he imagined traces of her lipstick left on his neck… then his stomach and..." E/B, AH, Mature Theme and Explicit Content.

Jen - Red is one of the most emotionally wrenching fics I have read. In just eight chapters (plus a newly posted outtake) 22blue takes the reader on an intense journey, experiencing lust, love, anger, grief, despair, sadness, and yes, even some happiness.

There isn’t much that’s conventional about this Edward/Bella story, which really shouldn’t be surprising since the first chapter was written as an entry for the Beyond the Pale contest. Don’t be confused, though: nothing in this story is done simply for shock of it. As you learn more about them, Bella in particular, even that which is beyond the pale makes sense for these real and flawed characters.

Edward and Bella’s relationship is rife with obstacles. She’s a prostitute; he has a child with a woman he no longer wants to be married to . She has innumerable scars from her childhood, and grapples with the consequences of her parents failing to protect her. Even when they have the chance to be together, ghosts from the past keep them apart.

Their long separation was so difficult to read. Despite knowing that each loved the other, they chose to remain apart. I know they both had their reasons for the distance, but it felt comparable to a vow of silence. It’s an incredible chapter, told predominantly through Edward and Bella’s letters to each other. Their longing and love for each other is so palpable, I can’t imagine anyone being able to read this chapter without a lump in their throat.

Their intense emotional relationship was born out of their intense sexual relationship.

She turned her head to kiss him again – heated yet loving – and then she turned her body. She lay on her back, he cradled her head, they kissed, and they rolled their hips in a forbearing rhythm. Bella felt so heavy, so desperate, her chest feeling as though it would implode, her throat tightening, her eyes burning now. Longer, please let this last longer, she silently begged.
Edward sucked in her bottom lip, his eyes clenching shut, surrounding himself by her warmth – he hadn't worn a condom, there was no barrier between them, nothing to keep them separate. I want this always, he thought, and a gravelly whimper rose from his throat. What he wouldn't give to feel her every day of his life. He kissed her again and again, gliding his nose along hers, pressing his forehead against hers, and she pulled him closer.

This isn’t an easy fic to read, but it’s worth every clench of the heart, twist of the stomach, and tear shed. 22blue has crafted an amazing story of love and loss and overcoming obstacles.

Emmy - I cannot begin to tell you just how much I love this fic. But there were some chapters I could not read. Yep, some chapters killed this WP stone cold..... So that is why it is perfect as a Team Angst pick! But seriously, this is one beautiful fic. Beautiful and heartfelt. Such a good piece of writing and complete in only 8 chapters, 9 if you include the newly posted outtake...

It starts out as a deeply erotic fic, where Bella and Edward share a prediliction for getting the jollies off to a certain kink, involving the colour Red. Flipping heck, it makes for steamy stuff. But there is ALWAYS more simmering under the surface of this fic. Even in the first chapter. Bella is not a happy bunny in this fic. And Edward? Well Edward is living a lie of sorts...

But Bella and Edward forge this deep connection, a connection that transcends a good bout of sex, or a relationship of intense fucking. But how do you transfer that over to a proper relationship? Can you? Can you ever? How can you make your ‘normal’ life fit or accept a love affair so blinding that it eclipses all normality or rationality? A love affair that eclipses all that you held true to, all your life thus far? This is what is at the centre of this story. Do YOU deserve a HEA if you haven’t gone about it by traditional means? Is happiness warranted if others have suffered or will suffer for you to get your forever? VERY canon themes in that sense in this fabulously intense tale.

You will feel that this story is longer than the scant (but brilliant 8 chapters). Yet at the same time you could agonise over each chapter, and want to know so much more. More detail of every decision, god more detail of every breath that these two make.

I don’t think that 22blue takes the easy OR the expected route with these two and their journey. Any happiness does not come easy to them, when they are happy or things are easy for them, we feel their uneasiness and in fact feel even more uneasy for them! We know that things are not that simple or easy. Heartfail and separation is sure to come there way.

It does.

Bella is broken in this story. So much more broken than we could ever realise or concede. Its far outside the majority of our comfort zones. How far is Edward willing to go to get that back....? What does Bella need. Not just from Edward, but from life? Will she ever find peace? Will it be through sex or liaisons...?

Edward. Well Edward is sexy, but he is also highly flawed, niave at times and too simplistic. He is smitten, in turns in love and in turns so frustrated and scared by events. So ruddy good to read.

What I love so much about Red is that it looks at what sex and an intense sexual connection is often a front for. Can you have real intimacy and real sexual connection without deep and real or sure/true love? Can you truly give yourself away to another, trust included without head-over-heels love? What sacrifices have to be made to find happiness? What is love? Does good (and INTENSELY erotic) sex blindsight us to the reality? This fic is fabulous for helping us explore these issues, but more than that, letting us join Bella and Edward on a desparate and heartfelt journey to love. Such a good read, so beautifully written, this story gave me lots to think about, which stayed with me long after I had finished each chapter........

One tiny caveat... A kinky (aka dirrrty bird like me, would like to know - the kink that drew Edward and Bella together? Does it return later to them? Once the initial burn has settled, would that still feature as part of their love making, or did it merely fulfill a certain desperate need at the time? Do you need to live on the edge to enjoy that predilection? Or would it always be something that provided each of them with the certain ‘Je ne sais quoi’ to lengthen , deepen and heighten their orgasms and intense highs?

Jess - I really enjoyed this sad love story, but to be completely honest, I’m not even sure how to begin to describe it. Red is the story of two people who find themselves mired in the muck of life circumstances. Bella is a prostitute who has a very dark, sad past. It is the foundation and reason for essentially all the things that happen in this story, and it is utterly heartbreaking to watch her struggle with all of it. Edward is the CEO of Cullen Securities and is essentially living a double life through the first part of this story. Together, they find love and an intensely sexual relationship - one that often involves the color red and breath play. This issue of breath play is a huge element and is an indication of the nature of their relationship shifting. I don’t want to say much about this, but it was extremely well played.

The first time we meet these two, Bella arrives at his hotel room wearing, of course, Red. Here’s just a glimpse into the nature of their early relationship.

She heard Edward's voice call from the other side of the door for her to enter, and so she did. Her red, silky dress was wrapped around her slim body and fastened only by a sash. It had a dramatically deep neckline and brushed against her thighs, showing the outlines of her long legs as she walked toward the center of the room. The neckline accentuated the curves of her breasts and small hips. She knew Edward would be pleased.

Pleasure, of course, was what Bella knew best.

Edward stood just feet away from Bella, wearing a charcoal suit, crisp, white shirt, and a claret tie. He smiled at her presence – Mondays had become his favorite day of the week.
Bella parted her scarlet lips, the tip of her tongue barely visible, she asked, "What do you want?"

As Edward cocked his head, he chuckled. "Week after week you ask the same thing. Do you not know the answer to that question by now?"

She knew he wanted to fuck her, but she didn't know how he wanted to be fucked. How could she possibly know if he preferred to start with a blow job or simply take her from behind?

"No, Edward, I can't read your mind. Would you care to enlighten me?"

The truth was, Edward had hoped, just as he always had, that Bella could read his mind. He would have paid one hundred times her amount if she could… maybe even more.

"I'd like you to undress me… slowly," he said.

Bella strode toward Edward, gliding the tips of her nails along his scalp once she reached him.

She loved the feel of his hair between her fingers, soft and thick and just the right length to pull when she came, should she be in the position to do so.

Bella touched the tip of her nose to Edward's jaw and inhaled; he'd recently showered. The scent of his soap was still strong on his skin. She slid her hands underneath his jacket, removing it slowly per his request, and let it fall to the floor.

Edward's hands went to Bella's breasts, and he was delighted to discover she hadn't worn a bra. Her nipples immediately became erect from the touch of his thumbs circling them.

"How do you want me?" Bella's lips barely touched Edward's ear as she loosened his tie.

"Under me. I want to fuck you hard tonight." Edward squeezed her tits, his erection apparent as she brushed her stomach against his crotch.

"Of course, Edward. Will you fuck me so hard I'll ache tomorrow?"

Bella wasn't taunting him; it was merely her request.


This is only the beginning of their ride. Over the course of time... and a lot of time passes in these short eight chapters... we watch their love blow and groom. But life is never that easy, and past pain and baggage always take a toll when brushed under the rug. What ensures is heartbreak and loss that left me in some places feel breathless and aching for these two to deal with stuff and get on with it.

I won’t spoil what happens or how this unfolds, but one of the things I loved most about this story was the realistic way 22blue allows the story to unfold. The dialogue is well placed, the secondary characters - several original and others we know well - really supplement this story nicely.

To my fellow Wusspervs, read this story. It won’t kill your heart, and it will show how love grows and blossoms even with time and distance... and that healing, hope, and love can and do prevail.

Liz - There has been a spate of hooker/escort fics in the last year or so; some great, some just okay. This one is amazing.

What started as a beautifully, elegantly tragic one-shot was extended into a punch-packing eight chapter gem that reads like a much longer story. 22blue loads this story with rich intensity that will leave you rubbing the ache in your chest.

Bella hugged him to her then squeezed his hair between her fingers, hot tears filling her eyes as she felt the build, the rise of her orgasm. No.

With his thumbs, Edward brushed away the dampness trickling from her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes that held his heart and soul. He whispered, "Shh," and his own tear fell onto her cheek. He felt her constrict around him, her thighs tightening against his sides, her heels digging into his thighs, and her fingers gripping at his shoulder and his back. He slid his arms around her, holding her as close as he possibly could while she came, fighting off his own orgasm. Bella sobbed as her peak lessened and his rose.

As Edward stilled, unable to hold off any longer, he shifted his arms. He held her face in his hands, his forehead against hers again, his eyes closed again; he felt ecstasy and at the same time, a profound weight in the pit of his stomach.

Neither would look at the other. If they had, they'd be forced to acknowledge their quintessential heaven had ended, and the jolt of reality would be too much to bear.

Bella and Edward have formed a passionate, but co-dependant union that burns so brightly the reader knows it can’t last. Living as Edward’s dirty little secret finally becomes a heavier weight than Bella can bear, and she makes a drastic choice. Terrified of losing her forever, he begs his godfather to intervene.

Bella was not just another one of Gabriel's patients - presumably, she'd play along with his methods whether honestly or not – and he couldn't help but feel something for her. Perhaps it was simply because Bella was his godson's lover. Even more so, she was the center of Edward's world; it didn't take long for Gabriel to come to this conclusion.

Gabriel offers Bella a place in his home as she recovers, and she quickly becomes an extension of his family. Gabriel urges Edward to give Bella the space she needs to deal with her demons, but Edward stays near, never able to be far from her even as his marriage dissolves. The comfort they find in each others arms is a superficial balm on Bella’s deep scars, and eventually their relationship crumbles, despite their deep love and passion.

22blue pours on the angst in the form of Edward’s vindictive ex-wife, and across their seemingly endless and gut-wrenching separation as Bella struggles to redefine herself.

The last chapter blew me away.

Teal - The original one-shot of this fic was so intense and shocking that I can remember feeling both struck and devastated the first time I read it. It was heartbreaking because it seemed as though there was absolutely no chance for them to ever be together. The circumstances of each of their lives felt too tied down, too impossible . . . but the continuation turned everything upside down.

Truly, this story was nothing I ever expected it to be after the setup of the first chapter. While it moved in an unpredictable direction, the story was wholly enthralling. From the ups and downs of Edward and Bella’s relationship in the beginning to the healing and self-discovery they both had to do as individuals and to find what they could and couldn’t be to one another, it was truly a roller coaster ride of emotions. The supporting cast were easy to fall in love with, and the genuine friendships developed between everyone added to the story so beautifully.

Through it all, the physical bond, the needs, the lust, the love so fucking scare you thought it might kill them - that intense, undeniable, fiery connection between Edward and Bella was the glue that bonded this story together. Everything they struggled with was to make them whole as individuals so that they could give in to avalanche of love and desire they felt. There were truly a lot of moments that made me hurt for these characters, but that spark they had when they were together struck something inside me (and I imagine many other readers) that always made me want to cheer them on, even when being together may have needed to slow down.

This fic has a little of everything. While it starts with a very taboo sort of domination and fetish play, there is sweetness, family, fear, and healing. The timeline was greater than I ever imagined it would be, but in the end, it just felt right.