Saturday, January 30, 2010

An Officer and a Gentleman Contest Winners!

The votes have been tabulated and the winners decided. The Perv Pack wants to thank everyone who participated, read and voted. Thank you for making our first contest such a success!

So without further adeiu, the winners...

Readers Choice

Semper Fidelis

Bella is pouty when her deployed boyfriend, Edward, doesn't have time to talk to her on their anniversary. How can he possibly make it up to her?

Hottest Serviceward

Love Ignited

Two high school sweethearts, one long year apart, and plenty of changes in between.

Steamiest Smut

There was a 3-way tie in this category.

The Possibility of You

Lieutenant Edward Cullen is a dedicated fireman, but, when a new probie joins his crew, he struggles to keep things professional. Will he be able to keep himself in check or lose his heart to the possibility of love?


Bella helps Edward through an exceptionally rough day at work. This story is dedicated to all the hard working, brave men and women who risk everything on a daily basis.

Semper Fidelis

Bella is pouty when her deployed boyfriend, Edward, doesn't have time to talk to her on their anniversary. How can he possibly make it up to her?

Most Luscious Non-Lemon

There was a 2way tie in this category

A World Away

Bella thinks military men are arrogant womanizers. That is, until she meets Edward, a hot and unpredictable Navy SEAL who quickly deploys for six months. Will their relationship flourish or flush?

Fortune Favors the Bold

Major Edward Masen is a former Air Force Thunderbird, decorated fighter pilot, and a war hero. A guy like that would never go for a girl like MIT engineer Bella Swan. Or would he?

The Judge's Choice:

Bri's Choice

Love Ignited

Two high school sweethearts, one long year apart, and plenty of changes in between.

There were a lot of stories that were entered into the contest, and there were several that I loved (*cough Semper Fidelis and The Possibility of You cough*), but when I read Love Ignited, I knew I had my judge's choice. There is almost literally nothing hotter to me than a Daddy-to-be that's happy to be one (except maybe an already Daddy). There is something about the way they look at the woman carrying their child that makes me melt.

The first part of this o/s is heart-jerking, that's for sure. And especially when we get to the part where Bella puts the phone up to her belly at Edward's request and she can hear him talking to the baby. Yep, I cried. A lot. That completely melted me, and I was sold from that point on as this being my favorite Edward of the contest.

The reunion was sweet and meaningful, yet understated. The same could be said for the sexy times she put in this fic. All in all, this was a warm-your-heart kind of fic and I loved every minute of it.

Emmy's Choice


After years of war and unrequited love, an Infantryman returns from the front, reuniting with the only girl he ever wanted.

I was so ruddy thrilled when the emails started bouncing around for our inaugural PPSS competition and the fact that our first competition was going to focus on ArmyWard? Phwoar. YES PLEASE! :)

I read everyone of our contest entries and was so pleased that people wrote such a diverse & interesting range of stories. All with passion and a genuine love for the men and women that serve us..

Burn - by Vixen1836 crawled into my heart and set it alight with a small glow of burning embers, staying there long after I had finished reading it. What I loved most about this story was the style it was written in. The whole piece had a feel as I read it very much of a faded and treasured photograph. Read it again, and see if you understand what I mean. . . . Vixen nailed the reflective feel and warm tint a vintage photograph has in her writing and permeated the whole of Burn with it. Its exquisite writing. I believed in Edward's fixation on Bella in the trenches. His focus on her rather than the terror, despair, misery and pain all around him. Instead of focusing on all that he took refuge in the memory of Bella deep in his mind. She was his sanctuary and only figure of hope in a time without light. The natural step for him on his return is to try and find her. To explore whether his mind was purely fantasy of if there is more there, if his heart and soul had been speaking to him all that time. How will Bella react to him? In a time of war did she ever think of that Copper-headed soldier sent to the front-line far away? Did their lack of friendship prevent her of thinking of him too? I am not going to spoil this gorgeous fic for you by telling you what happens to our returning hero and the secret girl of our dreams. Read it, be moved and stirred and indulge the history this gem evokes. (I want to go buy a tea-dress and accessorise it with my vintage red lipstick in 'Burn's' honour!) like that beautiful photograph you will want to re-learn (read) it and treasure it, keep it safe and share it with others. Thank you Vixen, this fic really spoke to me and left a precious picture in my mind. Emmy. xx

Hope's Choice

Fortune Favors the Bold

Major Edward Masen is a former Air Force Thunderbird, decorated fighter pilot, and a war hero. A guy like that would never go for a girl like MIT engineer Bella Swan. Or would he?

I have a little thing for men in uniform. No really, I do, I married a Marine for criminy sake. But more than the uniform itself, is everything that the uniform stands for and represents. It's not just a uniform; it's a way of life, a commitment to something greater than one's self and a need to serve and protect those they stand up for.

There were several stories that I absolutely loved, making my choice was a hard one. I picked Fortune Favors the Bold by capriciousC as my pick because I loved the setting of the story and the UST between Edward and Bella. Bella is witty, smart and has a backbone, while being real and likable. Edward is charming and somewhat elusive. The chemistry between them is undeniable. Also the use of secondary characters was really well done. Besides who wouldn't want to be confined to a small, dark space with the one they want for 5 hours? Not me! And also there's just something about a Jet Fighter Pilot. Must have something to do with my Top Gun obsession. I hope capriciousC continues this story.

Kathy's Choice


Bella helps Edward through an exceptionally rough day at work. This story is dedicated to all the hard working, brave men and women who risk everything on a daily basis.

It can be tough to read, because of the reality of it – Edward is a firefighter and a young girl has died in a fire on his shift – but that's precisely what I loved about it. His grief felt real to me, the way he beat himself up over his perceived failure. I liked the twist with Fire Chief Swan and his backstory, leading to more of Edward's anxiety.

Most of this piece is a conversation between Edward and Bella (in the shower!), ranging from his guilt about the fire to the state of things in their marriage; there are a few comparisons to how things used to be, etc. and I really just loved it. I love the idea of them in 10 years, just as happy as they were when they got married, even if it's happy in a different way. The banter reminds me a little of my own marriage at times, and did I mention there's a lovely section of DTE? Yum.

Alice (Edward's sister) appears at the end, and I really also loved the relationship between A & E and their banter. The way Edward interacts with his daughter and niece had me giggling.

Yeah, the last line totally killed me and made me bawl, but that's pretty par for the course with me.

Nina's Choice

A World Away

Bella thinks military men are arrogant womanizers. That is, until she meets Edward, a hot and unpredictable Navy SEAL who quickly deploys for six months. Will their relationship flourish or flush?

I've always liked Marines. Woof. Imagine my surprise when out of all the entries I picked a Naval themed one-shot! "A World Away" from wandb was a sweet and genuine look at the lives of people separated by circumstance. One of the main things I liked about it was that they weren't 'together' before he shipped off. They were unsure as to where they stood in regard to their relationship, were they friends or did they both want more? They got to know each other through emails during his time abroad, him on a ship with lots of other Navy sailors, hot, sweaty, nekkid... what?

In all sincerity though, I appreciated that she didn't just have them go at it, him leave, come back and boom... they're automatically in love. Giving them the time to form a relationship while separated added to the emotion of their reuniting. I thought the smut was perfect in relation to the rest of the story and ultimately I thought she did a great job.

I still like Marines but Seamen are a close second. Hehehehe :)

Steph's Choice

Sincerely, Edward

Their love grew over a series of letters exchanged while he was deployed to Afghanistan. He's coming home and there is no other place she'd rather be than waiting for him.

I have gone with Sincerely, Edward as my pick. There was something about this story that just grabbed me and pulled me right in. The fact that they'd gone to school together, but not known each other before they met was fun beginning. I love that they had that instant connection between them and spent that whole first night just talking. My heart broke at what happened to their lunch date and how horrible they both must have felt. Bella for being stood up, and Edward for having to do so unwillingly but with no way to get in touch with her. The fact that he took the time to write to Bella and apologize says so much about the kind of person he is. I adore the fact that they got to know each other through letters. In this day and age it's such an old-fashioned way to do things, but look how well it worked out for them. They fell in love. And not just love, but a forever kind of love. This story was just all around touching and beautiful and it made me teary-eyed more than once. Beautifully done. Not to mention I would absolutely love to read the letters the author mentions in her note as being real. Sigh.

Stephie's Choice

The Possibility of You

Lieutenant Edward Cullen is a dedicated fireman, but, when a new probie joins his crew, he struggles to keep things professional. Will he be able to keep himself in check or lose his heart to the possibility of love?

Reading through the entries for this contest I realized how many great authors there are. There were a lot of great o/s and it made choosing really hard for me. Still, reading through them all was a pleasure. My pick is The Possibility of You by afragilelittlehuman. This o/s has not only FireWard but Firella as well. What I really enjoyed was having a Bella who was treated as an equal, regardless of sex or sexiness...though that didn't keep the guys from fantasizing about her sliding down the fire pole. Being employed as a fire fighter equals tough situations and loss of lives; some unknown and some friends. There is an especially hard part when Edward wants to comfort Bella after the death of men from a nearby firehouse...but can't due to the circumstance. I could feel how difficult it was for Edward to deny his desire to help a woman he was no longer just "in lust" with but had deeper feelings for. Besides being realistic with the day to day life of fire fighters, afragilelittlehuman wrote the UST so well that I was dying with the wait for them to get together. Her Edward is sexy in his uniform, all sweaty and dirty. Her Bella is tough yet still feminine. And the smut? Well, I'll just say you need to read it to appreciate it. I could definitely go for more of this to see how a relationship will work out between two people who risk their lives at work on a daily basis.

Thanks again to all the entered stories, read, voted, retweeted and made this contest so much fun for all of us!

Friday, January 29, 2010

I Don't Believe in Vampires by lazykate

I Don't Believe in Vampires





During a chance return to Forks, Bella Swan runs into her high school crush only to discover that things were never as they appeared. What has Edward been waiting for all this time? Originally a O/S for Things That Go Bump in the Night, now continued!


I started reading LazyKate's "I Don't Believe in Vampires" when my beta could not stop talking about it and I have now become an official ’roo stalker.

In IDBiV, LazyKate explores what it would have been like if Edward had waited until after high school to pursue Bella. This gave time for Bella to deal with her fair share of drama and grow into a strong young woman. The added maturity not only makes their relationship deeper, it also makes the lemons extra juicy. Think four years of pent up sexual frustration, a Bella who is not afraid to get what she wants and an Edward who is more than willing to give.

LazyKate does not disappoint, spoiling us with lemons that could grace the pages of Penthouse and make panties spontaneously burst into flames. With a unique storyline, well defined secondary characters, and plenty of digs against the disappointments that we all felt from the original saga, LazyKate has given us a new and refreshing alternative universe.

If you are looking for a Bella with a back bone, Rosalie that isn't a bitch, typical speed popping Alice, and an Edward that could charm the panties off a nun, look no further. LazyKate combines the maturity of adulthood, the pure eroticism of intense sexual desire, and a few wicked story twists to give us a true gem in the fanfiction world.

Now head on over to and let Lazykate know that you saw her rec on the Perv Pack's Smut Shack.

This fic came into us -recc'd by a pervling - through the Naughty Librarian feature - use the thingymajigwhatsit on the side to send us your suggestion.... Anyways.. I don't Believe in Vampires came in & I got stuck in. As I have a hard-on for AU fics at the mo... IDBIV starts off quite slow. Its deffo a slow burner of a fic and you have to believe that Edward & Bella's relationship goes from zero to 100mph after they re-connect years after High School at a Cullen party. Edward in IDBIV took a LONG time to get over his blood lust for Bella... Once they meet again, can they find a way to take what they both feel further?

Bella, ( whilst crushing on Edward from afar) without having an eternal teen vamp in her life was allowed to just carry on.. But surprise - her life without a hot, sexy, devoted, possessive vamp was pretty shite! (who'd have thought it!:D) I like this idea. What would have happened to Bella without ever knowing the Cullen's? Not much actually which is why I like what Lazy Kate does. Bella is lonely and bereft, stuck in a rut as her driving force and her passion in her life does not exist... I am not saying that a woman needs love, or love of a man(Vamp) to be happy. But I do believe that love should encourage us to fulfill our potential, achieve our dreams and believe in ourselves. Love can be a motivating, protective factor in our lives and that is what I think Lazy Kate shows...

Where I really like this story though is when LazyKate does something a wee bit different than the standard - girl meets vamp & they have lots of lovely hot, balcony door breaking, mad masturbating, hot sexing (wait what was I saying?) story... Yes they have LOTS of yummy possessive, intense, MAKING-UP FOR LOST TIME SEXING! But Lazy Kate starts to develop different friendships and dynamics with the Cullens and Bella. There is a scene with Jake and the Cullen Women that I love. I think LazyKate uses the female Cullen's particularly well. She has also created a wolf pack that are much more openly aggressive, hostile and bloody untrustworthy - which I like too! :) The last few chapters in particular, the story really moves forward and I was all BLOODY HELL all over the shop - just ask Nina.. I emailed her in a tizz-waz! :)

Ok back to the sexing. BALCONY DOOR VOYEURWARD and Bed & Breakfast sexing are scenes in particular to look out for & titillate yourself with. More than once! ;) Be patient with the plot in this story, enjoy the hot sexing which starts early on in the tale (YAY!), and let the story develop naturally whilst LazyKate paints a different reality of AU...

4 broken balcony doors out of 5 from Emmy! <3

I really like the AU part or twist of this AU story. I've read a ton of variations on how Edward and Bella get together, but never one like this. Edward, instead of pursuing Bella after a short period of time after the van accident (which doesn't happen here), waits and bides his time. Making sure he can handle her scent and that she is ready to accept the instensity of their feelings for each other. Both are a little bit more mature in this fic, making them able to deal with and process the bond they instantly share. There is none of the hesitation and awkwardness from the books. Actually, they spend their first 12 hours together in bed! WooHoo!

lazykate takes elements from canon and the books and melds or integrates them into the story in a very cool way. It's almost as if you are reading the books, but not. It's the slight twists and changes that make the story appealing and intriguing. One twist or change that I do enjoy is that Edward can hear Bella's thought, but only under certain circumstances.

The secondary characters are very similar to the books. Except Jake doesn't lust after Bella (Thank God), they have a very brother/sister relationship. Alice is her usual self; pushy, but endearing at the same time. Rosalie is still a bit of bitch, but loyal. Esme & Carlisle simply happy that Bella has brought Edward so much happiness.

Now the smut, it's not graphic at all. Except for a few words here or there to indicate movement, it's all about sensation, emotion and the intensity of the experience without being flowery. There is a lot of smut too. These two are insatiable for each other and it's never enough, ever. I particularly like the shower and Bella teasing Edward on the balcony scenes.

4 out 5 Balcony doors from moi.

I really liked the first chapter of this. Since the story began as a one shot, there is a ton of information and backstory. Of course, the chapter wraps with a lovely lemony. Chapter two has a morning of implied lemony love, with just enough details to be squirm-worthy, but not every single lemon written out.

There's a lot of information and story packed in the first few chapters, along with the juicy lemons. Edward and Bella bond almost immediately, just like in the books.

I really liked the lemon at the end of chapter five, when Bella decides to tease Edward. What's not to love about hearing Edward deliver lines like this:

“You want me to show you what I would have done to you, my love?”

UNG. Yes, and please.

Most of the story follows a very Twilight-centric timeline/theme. Rosalie is angry that Edward wants to turn Bella, Jacob tries to interfere, etc. There are tense and well-written interactions with both of those two people in back-to-back chapters, which I thought were perfect. Rose and Bella interacting was great – Bella stood up for herself, and you can see in the second chapter, when Bella has trouble with Jake, how Rose is behind her 110%. Her actions backed up her words that her frustration/anger wasn't personal against Bella.

I love the little twists on canon with Jake, in chapters 10 & 11, which I don't want to spoil. The ending of chapter 11 was beautiful and perfect.

The final few chapters that are posted (by no means the end of the story), are thrilling and fabulous. I can't wait to read more and find out what happens next; I love the way canon details are woven in, but slightly tweaked.

Mmm, and the lemons! I can't wait for more of those, too :)

4.5/5 balcony doors

It took a bit for me to get sucked into this story. I really liked her writing, that wasn't it at all. It was one of those 'too good to be true' moments for me. I was terrified that something would split them up *coughthosefuckingmeddlingwolvescough*

Yes, I'm a wuss.

Anyway, after somewhere around Chapter 4, I was hooked. Literally hooked. Emmy and I started going back and forth with theories and predictions it was ridiculous how far off we were. The cliffhanger chapter! JFC I was shaking my fist at the screen and almost called Emmers at 4 am Scotland time! THANK FUCK she has since updated and ended our misery!

I've been hankering for good AU stories lately and this certainly fits the bill! I like strong Bella characterizations, especially when she's paired with Edward who doesn't stifle her but embraces her snarky side. I'm also a huge fan of Vampward that likes to bone pre-marriage. Hehehe. I'm easy.

I don't care very much for most 'fic' weddings, they're loud and over the top and unlike anything that most Bella's canon or otherwise would want. That being said, I liked this interpretation a lot and the honeymoon.

Sweet Jesus. The scene in the car leading to the B&B. Unf. It wasn't even the 'smut' itself, it was the dialogue. Lord. Then of course the smut was great too hahaha.

So you're probably wondering about the balcony door rating? Yeah. Uh, read it.

4.5/5 balcony doors from me.

I really liked how this story started out. Originially a one shot, Bella is back in Forks for a Halloween/Retirement party hosted by the Cullens. She's anxious and nervous to see her crush, Edward, for the first time in months. She's grown up quite a bit from the Bella we know in the books due to some more serious situations. When she does finally see Edward, old feelings come back with a vengeance. Not only do you know how Bella feels though, but you hear through Edward's own thoughts, how much he wanted her. The way he just kisses her is, unf, and when they go back to his bedroom....unggg.

I don't read very many AU, I don't know exactly why, but it's good to find one that really draws in my attention and keeps me reading. Also, to read about a vampire Edward who isn't afraid himself is very refreshing. And sexy. I mean, who didn't want Bella and Edward to bump uglies in the book? But besides that is the bond, even deeper than in the canon series, these two share. While Edward couldn't read her mind in HS, he could catch emotions and whatnot. And with them together, their ability to exchange their feelings without words gets stronger.

I liked how while there is confrontation with Jake and the other wolves, there's no love triangle. Thank God. There is a bit of drama and an almost rumble. Rosalie there, ready to attack the mutts in defense of Bella is great, even though, like canon Rose, she doesn't want Bella to change to a vampire.

Basically, what it seems like I'm trying to say is that while IDBiV follows very similar canon story lines, they are different. lazykate takes traits that we are all so familiar with and tweaks them a bit. And in the case of Bella, gives her more of a backbone...which IMO makes things better. Plus, like I mentioned before. There's the sex. Which are very good. I really wish we could've seen this side of Edward in the real books. Really. So hot!

I can't wait to see where lazykate takes the rest of this story.

4/5 balcony doors from me

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Author Interview: tby789 & Emmy

This week we have the Porn Queen herself; tby789 and our very own Emmy, the review queen!

Question's for tby789:

Emmy: Why this fandom?
Christina: This is the first fandom I've ever known. I read the Twilight books and felt, shall we say...less than fulfilled by BD? I can't even remember how I came about it but I found Dark Side of the Moon by blondie and thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Imagine my reaction when I found my first fic with no fade to black. ::assfloor::
Emmy: I have NEVER read that fic - any chance of a link babes? :)
Christina: Dark Side of the Moon by blondie Everyone should read this, it's NM from EPOV. Beautifully done.
Emmy: Will it make me cry though? Remember I am the ultimate wussperv(tm)?
Christina: If you read NM, you can read this. I can't say enough good things about it.

Emmy: How and Why Fanfic - what first tempted you in?
Christina: I'd never written anything in my life. Nothing. I met Dawnie aka Kyla713 while reading her story ABC and sent her a pm. I was recovering from surgery at the time and stuck in bed for weeks. Somehow we started talking, then she started asking my opinion and pretty soon she was sending me stuff to read and comment on. One day she suggested that we write something together. After days of refusing and questioning her sanity, I finally relented. Looking back, I'm so glad she was pushy.
Emmy: So bloody am I! :)
Christina: Seriously, besides pushing me to write, she has truly become one of my best friends.

Emmy: How did you come up with the signature move of the BB aka the knicker rip? (I am refusing to say the P***ie word out of reverence for Nina ;] )
Christina: Honestly, I have no idea. Everything I write just pops in my head and plays like a movie. I saw him there, angry, turned on beyond all reason, the way he would fight with himself to stop and be unable to do so. He would be so angry and conflicted and furious that his hands would tremble as they formed a fist around the delicate fabric and just rip.
Emmy: Christ - I need a minute or two to recover.....

Emmy: If you could change one thing about the fandom - it would be?
Christina: To judge each other solely on personal interaction, rather than preconceived notions, assumptions or gossip

Emmy: The best thing that's happened to you because of the fandom?
Christina: By far its been the people I've met, whether on twitter, forums or in person. It was so amazing to go to CC and put faces with names and see how many people are exactly the way you imagined them. I seriously fell in love with every single person I met there.
Emmy: Damnit - I am crossing fingers & toes I get to make it to CC2010!

Emmy: How big a part does Music play in your writing?
Christina: The only time I listen to music is when I'm writing a lemon, and then it's something rhythmic with absolutely no lyrics. I never pick the songs, Moi puts all my playlists together for me.
Emmy: *sigh* Moiz is your personal DJ? You lucky ducky....
Christina: she's amazing. She'll ask me the general line of the the chapter, the mood I want to come across and somehow, it's always perfect. I owe half the stuff on my ipod to her introducing me to new music.
Emmy: I am le vert with envy! ;)

Emmy: Any song or artist over another inspire/motivate?
Christina: I tend to listen to a lot of club or new age when writing sex, and again no lyrics, they distract me.

Emmy: Dream fic to read or write? - (if you could read any storyline AND write anything what would they be?)
Christina: Moi began an entry for the Darkward contest and never finished it. I hope I get to read it one day.
Emmy: OH I SO second this! :)

Emmy: Dream collaboration to work with?
Christina: I'm really looking forward to the continuation of A Little Crazy with LolaShoes and the BB/Domward o/s for FGB with tarasueme.

Emmy: Best lemon you have EVER read?
Christina: This is a tough one for me. I'm going to cheat and tell you what I want instead.

When I read a really good lemon, I FEEL the emotion, whether it's love or lust or hate or whatever. Sometimes I feel like one of the biggest challenges for a writer is to portray the emotion through sex, not just paint a picture of what's happening physically. Is the room quiet, cold, dark, scented? What do they see, feel, touch, smell, think about? Are they angry, sad, sated, lustful, joyous, conflicted, jealous, guilty? How will this moment impact their lives, conscience, family, friends, job and are they conscious of any of this during the time?

These are the details that paint an overall picture for me. To be able to actually feel what the characters are feeling, see how they move and imagine what they sound like is to me, the mark of a really great sex scene. If a writer can do that, I'm theirs. I feel that if you take on such a deep, complex aspect of two character's relationships, the exploration of their sexuality should be done right by tying in the emotions as much as possible. P.S. I love that my longest answer was about smut.
Emmy: Would we expect anything less? LOL! :)

Emmy: FF author you most envious of?
Christina: I think I'm more envious of the readers. While writing has been a life changing experience for me, there's something special about curling up with a great story and losing yourself in a writer's creation. Lately, I've really been trying to get back into that. As far as writers go, I envy the ones that can really put out good chapters quickly. I'm insanely slow (read: procrastinating, no attention span and neurotic) and marvel at writers that can set a schedule and stick with it.

Emmy: Any one scene/chapter you have been most proud of writing? (can be as yet unposted!)
Christina: I love when BB was sick in Seattle, they're each so vulnerable in their own way. BUT, my favorite thing hasn't been posted yet.
Emmy: Go on C, whisper it in my ear... I won't tell anyone.. ;)

Emmy: Any real life events inspire your naughty scenes?
Christina: I've never had my panties ripped or had sex in a dressing room if that's what you're referring to. But, I am truly married to the love of my life. I adore him and feel adored in return. That in itself is inspiring.

Emmy: If you could be any Twi character which would it be? (bella not allowed if ONLY reason is to fuck Edward!)
Christina: Emmett
Emmy: oooh - can I ask why?
Christina: I think of all the Twi characters, I'm most like him. I'm easy going and almost always cheerful...ask anyone who stayed up with me all night in SD.

Emmy: If you could shag any twi character which would it be?
Christina: Edward
Emmy: - again can I ask why? I think I know why - but I am a nosey bitch...
Christina: Edward as a character is beautiful, smart and soulful. For me, he seemed like he needed to be rescued, that's what Bella was for him. But hello? Blissward? Stamina of a 17 yr old, body like a Greek God?
Emmy: Yes! Yes, yes, yes, YES! AND YES! I love how he needs her redemption and love - & the thought of him is just rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Emmy: How have your big collaborations happened? (eg LolaShoes/TaraSueMe/Twigasm)
Christina: Lo and I each wanted to write something for the Parkaward contest but were running low on time, so we tag teamed it. Tara and I were talking one day and I think I said, "Can you imagine BB and Domward together? WOOF." The podcast was different. Moi and I had talked about doing something, then heard that Nina and Alice were thinking the same thing. We all had a similar goal and it just worked.

Emmy: How did you & Moiz (the fabbio Eddie's Cherry/moijojojo become the terrible twosome? :)
Christina: There are two versions of this story, mine is that Moi and I met on the Twilighted forums. I had just had surgery and she was going in for hers. She had a story (which she's never updated btw) and I really liked it. We started pm'ing each other and got along great. There was a o/s contest and she kept badgering me to enter. Just as I did with Dawn, I told her I wasn't a writer. Moi can be very persistent when she wants something and I think my inbox was full of things like, "That aint right, PQ. That aint right."

Moi's version of how we met would be more like this...
I am of course Pennywise in this scenario and she is the young innocent Georgie.
Emmy: I think you just re-scarred me for life with that clip..... **shudders** - hmm think I need some Robporn to relight the happy! ;)

Emmy: How did you get your reputation for being so cute - when you write such erotic prose?
Christina: Holy lord, I have no idea how I can answer this question. I think people get a kick out of the fact that I'm known for writing erotica, and yet I can't read it without giggling. I shock myself all the time.

Emmy: How did you get into reading Slash?
Christina: The Arrangement by manyafandom was one of the first stories I ever read. It's about E/B/J and the relationship they have as best friends and how it changes one day into a sexual arrangement. As the chapters evolved I kept thinking...."Ya know, if only we could take Bella out of this. hmmmm." I think she began All I Ever Knew shortly after that and I fell in love.
Emmy: yummo indeed

Emmy: What does Mr C make of all this (fandom/ff/podcast) malarky?
Christina: To use his words, "Life with you is certainly never boring." Basically, he just shakes his head and laughs. He listens to the podcast, reads all my writing and thinks it's basically been a positive experience. As long as I'm happy, he's happy.
Emmy: Awwww - he's a sweetie!

Emmy: What brand of lingerie do you prefer?
Christina: La Perla. PS use code VDay20 to get 20% off through Valentines Day and free shipping. js.
Emmy: Type of lingerie do you prefer?
Christina: I have a panty fetish, it's bordering on unhealthy
Emmy: Ok, So I want more details! :) thongs, shorts, french knickers? What's your preference/poison? :)
Christina: h00r. My husband travels and always brings me back something frilly from the places he visits. Sometimes they're from big stores, sometimes from a tiny little boutique. I was rearranging drawers the other day and I have 82 pairs. Some expensive and some not.
Emmy: Favourite item of clothing?
Christina: Panties. There's something empowering about wearing something beautiful that nobody can see.
Emmy: Oh I am so with you there! :)

Emmy: Favourite lip gloss brand/name?
Christina: I like Beauty Rush from Victoria's Secret. I'm always losing lip gloss or its commandeered by my little girl so I don't spend too much on it.
Emmy: Favourite lip colour?
Christina: Almost always something in nude or soft pinks.
Emmy: Stockings or tights (hose)?
Christina: Stockings
Emmy: Diamonds or pearls?
Christina: Diamonds
Emmy: Favourite flower?
Christina: Cala lilly
Emmy: We both have curly hair - have you ever considered getting it chemically straightened...
Christina: No. I used to fight with my hair and wish it was straight. Now I realize it makes me different and it fits my personality.

Emmy: Favourite (sexual) position?
Christina: Anyone who has read TO will probably guess this. BB has a thing for taking 'em from behind.
Emmy: Girl after my own heart...

Least favourite position?
Christina: I'm so blushing right now. The one where I don't get off.

Emmy: Tattoo - have one? Want one?
Christina: I have three small ones, one for each member of my family.
Emmy: oooh! full of surprises ain't you?! :D I wanna see them!

Emmy:Guilty pleasures:
Christina: Chocolate Strawberries
Christina: Gah, the Theme from Romeo and Juliet
Christina: Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I fucking love those guys.
Emmy: Does that mean you love Spaced? Christ I love that tv series hard...
Christina: Haven't watched it yet. Simon Pegg is hilarious to follow on twitter.
Emmy: Here is the link to the pilot - it gets better as the series goes on. But its crazy brit stuff! :) This is blocked in the UK due to shitting Channel 4 - but hopefully you can see it stateside... :( (the pilot picks up from 5mins!)
Christina: Never watch TV
Christina: I love asshole (not abusive or cruel) Edward's and virgin Bella's. Can't lie. I love Darkward.
Christina: hmmm...I watch very little porn. I can't deny that there is something beautiful about two men kissing though. p.s. Moi always sends me this when I'm having a hard time getting in the lemon writing frame of mind.
Emmy: *snort* you said hard....
Christina: I love mysteries.
Christina: These three things make me smile no matter what...

Emmy: I fucking love that last one C - toooooooo funny! *snort* & oh my word - the Rob montage... hummana hummana

Emmy: Tell me one fabulous thing I do not already know about you...
Christina: I have the most beautiful yard and I read the Sunset Gardening Encyclopedia like a novel.

Emmy: Sex toys? Do you like them? Have a favourite?
Christina: I have a dresser in my walk in closet that holds toys. The girls on the podcast now refer to my closet as "The Panic room"
Emmy: Bwahahahahahah -too funny! :)

Emmy: Always Team Edward?
Christina: ALWAYS
Emmy: Always Team Robward?
Christina: No actually. Rob is my movie Edward, but usually not my fic one.
Emmy: Is he your original twilight novels Edward though?
Christina: No. I read the books around the time they were filming but hadn't really fallen into the Robsession yet.
Emmy: Fave Rob pic? :) The one that gets you a tingly more than any other?
Christina: ----->
Emmy: What did you like and dislike about New Moon - the film?
Christina: I thought it was beautiful, but that they relied too much on us knowing Edward and Bella were in love. I felt like I was told, not shown.

Emmy: What of Rob's forthcoming projects are you most looking forward to?... & why?!! :)
Christina: Bel Ami! I'm reading the novel and love it!

Bel Ami – Drama – Period Piece - The story chronicles Georges Duroy’s corrupt rise to power from a poor ex-NCO (non-commissioned officer) to one of the most successful men in Paris, most of which he achieves by manipulating a series of powerful, intelligent, and wealthy mistresses. (read: he's a manwhore) I'm so excited that I'm a contributor at

Emmy: Top 3 words on twitter when you do that tweet cloud thingy?
Christina: Thanks, babe, hugs

Coffee or tea? (& how do you like it/take it?)
Christina: Tea: Early Grey with sugar and evaporated milk

The very best thing about you?
Christina: That I'm content.

Emmy: Any special skills?
Christina: I sing

Emmy: Brunettes or Blondes? (for both birds and blokes!)
Christina: I'm a brunette, my husband is blonde and my little girl is in-between.

Questions for tby789 from around the fandom:

From Sandra:
Did you ever take a writing class or read a book about writing?
Christina: No, but I should. I will be the first person to tell you that I have no clue what I'm doing. I can tell you when something doesn't work, but probably not the technical reason why. I just write what's pretty in my head, one day, I hope to learn how to make the pretty grammatically correct.

From BBSaphire24:
I am sure it will get asked a lot but...Now that The Office is done, I know you said you wanted to take some time to read, not having had the time to do so while writing. But we will see another story (One-shots, drabbles, multi-chaps, whatever) from Christina? I would hope so!
Christina: I've actually been writing more lately than ever. I have the continuation of A Little Crazy (with Lolashoes), a BB/Domward o/s (with tarasueme), a reworking and continuation of Taken (with my original TO co-author kyla713), an ff called First Blush and I'm 6 chapters into an original fiction.
Emmy: oooooooh!

From Seamonkologist:
Quick question to those who enjoy/write m/m slash...when did you first realize it was something that was a turn on?
Christina: Reading AIEK by manyafandom. And sigh.

From Raizie:
Do you think you will ever make "The Office" available to readers in its entirety again?
Christina: I hope so, but right now, I just need a break. Lots of things go on that readers don't see, and at the moment, I'm feeling a bit protective of BB

Do you have any other ideas or interest in writing twific again?
Christina: Yes. I love writing ff and am working on a new story as we speak.

From 4theluvofmary:
What fic are you reading right now that you're dying for an update on?
Christina: Hide and Drink by Savage. I have to know how she's going to redeem him.

Are you working on any new story (FF or OF)?
Christina: Yes, two new FF stories and one OF.

You may have been asked this already, but i've never seen the answer, how did you come up with the idea for TO?
Christina: Dawn had an idea about a boss and a secretary who hates him. It just grew from there.

Did you ever find yourself having to cut things or leave out certain scenes while writing? if so, ever thought about writing more outtakes or do you want to be done with TO?
Christina: I have tens of thousands of words that I cut from The Office, most of which are still in my computer. I think one of the most important lessons I learned while writing it was to edit. Just because you can tell something, doesn't mean you should. Know what to leave and when to cut. If its not imperative to push the plot forward, cut it.

I have a Daddy BB outtake I'm just about finished with, but after that, I'm not sure.
Emmy: I am DYING for that one-shot.. DYING!

From ejsantry: for Wingman (her wording! ;] )
Upon finishing The Office, did you have a bit of a fic hangover? Did you take some time off, or did you have other ideas you were itching to dive into?
Christina: It was hard because it came down and the epilogue went up the next day, I never really got that completion. I took a small break, but then new pictures and scenes starting rolling around in my brain. I miss the challenge of updating...I can't believe I even said that.

Do you find collaborations inspiring or limiting?
Christina: In the right circumstances, collaborations can be inspiring. I'm lazy, often starting things I never finish, it's nice to have someone to push you along. On the other hand, it's easy to get caught up in the characters and have differing viewpoints. I've seen writing collabs that ended badly, I was fortunate that when Dawn left TO, it was with no hard feelings. She had become more interested in her story and I was all about The Office. We still talk every single day and are writing something else together. You also have to really make sure your styles blend or alter the way each of you write for a particular scene or character. Lola and I each made a real effort to make sure it wasn't obvious who wrote what in ALC.
Emmy: I really had no clue who wrote what - I reread just trying to figgy that out! LOL

From Mskathy:
You've spoken before about the stress/pressure you feel when posting; how do you cope with that? What is your posting ritual/habit?
Christina: I've said this before, but it really isn't any easier than it was in the beginning. In fact, it was probably more FUN when nobody paid attention. I still get nervous and want to throw up, I reread and edit and generally drive everyone around me insane. The only ritual I had was to post and leave, shutting off everything to disappear for awhile. It was so strange to have the first thing I ever wrote become popular, like being put on a stage when you have no clue what you're supposed to be doing. The most important thing I've learned is to keep my focus on my readers, the ones who truly enjoy the story. There will always be people who don't like what you've done and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Stay positive, ignore the haters and surround yourself with people who share the same outlook. Spend your time interacting with the people who support you, don't waste a minute focusing on negativity.

What is your favorite part about being involved in this fandom?
Christina: Meeting people, finding others that are as passionate about something as I am. The way we encourage one another, the way we celebrate each other's success is a beautiful thing to see.

From Twisherry:
What is your favorite alternative for the word "fuck"?
Christina: I say "blast" and "nuts" a lot.

What is your favorite sexual position to read about in FF?
Christina: From behind

What is your favorite sexual position to experience?
Christina: From behind- I sense a theme here.

What have you read in FF that you want to try in your RL?
Christina: Jizz that tastes like McFlurries *looks at LolaShoes*

What is the one thing you wish you had never read in FF?
Christina: Vamp Edward and Jake Wolf slash. I can never unread that. No wait! Vamp Edward and Jake Wolf taking human Bella at the same time. And I do mean SAME time.
Emmy: Bleugh! Pass the bleach eh?!

Is there something in FF that makes you cringe whenever you read it?
Christina: Language or actions during a lemon that are completely out of character.

What pairing do you have the hardest time reading?
Christina: I'm an Edward gal, I really need an Edward.
Emmy: Roger that! Its never a good a fic if he's absent... :)

Is there a pairing that you would absolutely no fucking way, read?
Christina: Edward/Rosalie Oh and see the above mentioned Vampward/Jakewolf
Emmy: Excuse me whilst I vomit....

What is your biggest pet peeve in real life?
Christina: People who dwell on the negative.

What is your biggest pet peeve in FF?
Christina: Stating opinions or assumptions as fact. Also, the twitter rant.

What is something about yourself that would surprise those who know you in
the fandom?
Christina: hmm...I think I'm pretty much myself in both worlds. Ask someone who has met me. Hopey?
(hopey: Yep, she's a sweetheart!)

What is something about yourself that your RL people would be surprised about
in regards to your participation in the fandom, and not the obvious, like you
write fan fiction?
Christina: Probably FGB. I took a week off of work to devote to it and my they had no idea why. I was so fucking proud of everyone, it was hard to keep my cover.

If you were stuck on a deserted island what is the one thing you would take
and who is the one person you would take?
Christina: Can I just take Skype so I can talk to all my friends?

What is your favorite non-twilight book?
Christina: Gone With the Wind or Little Women

What is your favorite non-twilight movie?
Christina: Rear Window

What is your favorite non-twilight recreational activity?
Christina: Gardening

What did you do with all of your free time before Twilight?
Christina: I wish I fucking knew

What is your favorite line in any or all of the Twilight books?
Christina: "I love you. I want you. Right now."

What is your favorite line in a FF story?
Christina: “Kiss my cock. Kiss it before it fucks you.” -The Submissive by tarasueme
Emmy: Christ.

If you could change one thing besides the fade to black and/or Renesmee, what
would you change in the Twilight series?
Christina: That Edward truly bit her and it ended with 3 books

What is your favorite color?
Christina: Pink

What part of the male body are you most drawn to visually?
Christina: abs or lower back.
Emmy: Its the shoulders that kill me - visible under a white dress/suit shirt.... fuckkkkk! or hips.. Love when a hip V is visible under suit trousers....... gah...

What is the most surprising thing you have found in the Twilight fandom?
Christina: That there are so many fucking talented women out there. Oh and that those same women are pervs.

Ok so I have more than one question...LOL. Last but certainly NOT least:
What is your all time favorite lemon...the one you go back and read over and over because it just gets you so hot and bothered?
Christina: I don't really have one, which is strange. I love REALLY love lemons. Writing them is actually the easiest part of writing for me. Also the most enjoyable.

Standard Pervling Questions:

Hardest part about writing ff?
Christina: The pressure I felt to make each chapter better than the last and the worry that I would let my readers down.

Do people in RT know you do it?
Christina: A few do. I live in a very religious state so it's not something I want everyone to know.

If I looked under your bed right now what would I find?
Christina: Rubbermaid's filled with books and shoes.

For those of you that use 'toys', which is your favorite?
Christina: I prefer glass toys.

Do you currently have more than 1 sex partner?
Christina: I've only ever had one sex partner. I know, shocking.

Question for both from around the fandom:

From MsKathy:
What is your favorite FanFic memory (could be a story, a review, meeting someone, etc.)
Emmy: I haven't MET ANYONE yet... :( **flails** :( For me - its got to be my invite to join the PP - & then the subsequent blog plotting & planning that ended up with the PPSS! :) Which led me to my fave girls! I also love how my reviews & pm's led me to the lovely lovelies in the first place and also is what can lead me to new friends all the time...

I am a social bitch - so I love twitter for the same reason - random chats & story recc's lead to awesome birds! I love love love that I get to work with brillo authors (top birds) and read their stuff and help them plot their stories - they are such special friends....
Christina: I absolutely loved CC, and I love that ff has allowed me to interact with people all over the world. I'm thrilled when I see I have friends and readers in other countries.

Funniest memory would probably be the night we slept out for the NM panel. We were all just hanging out, laughing and having a blast. I tried to stay up as long as I could, but at some point fell asleep on MsKathy, I think. Well, during the night people were beginning to encroach on each other's space, so we really had to keep a close eye on everything. I sat up around 3:00am and noticed a new group of people in our area. Bear in mind I was exhausted and it was dark. With my eyes barely even open and still half asleep I said, "Who the fuck is that?" I almost died when I realized it was Sam/AngstGoddess003. Everyone burst out laughing and I fell back asleep.

From starfish422:
You have a week and an unlimited budget to go anywhere in the world you like (and any necessary childcare has been taken care of), but you can choose only a single destination. Where are you going?
Emmy: Whew! That's a toughie Katie!!! Hmmmm... I wanna wait & see what C says! LOL - you know if I am honest - I would love to explore the states proper - & go see all the darling girls I have met through this community & take them all out for booze, dancing, scoff & more booze! :) If not then back to my new love affair - Thailand.. ooh or maybe Hong Kong! - Can I have a month instead?! :D
Christina: I just want somewhere warm with ocean and drinks with umbrellas.

From Love_Laughter:
Who is your all-time favorite author? (non-fanfiction) Why?
Emmy: Oooh crikey! You know I haven't read books proper in SO long... I would probably have to say EM Forster. The way he weaves emotions, social commentary and the most vivid descriptions through his prose... every story or novel plays like a film in my minds eye & charges my senses.
Christina: I adore JK Rowling. I'm reading the HP books with my little girl and to see her so caught up in the story and descriptions is amazing.

What's your worst habit?
Emmy: Gosh these are hard Meg! Probably that I talk too much.... I have to fight myself to not interrupt others.. But I have deffo improved... I just love to chat chat chat chat with others & hear what they have to say... I go on way too much! :)
Christina: This is why we belong together, Emmy. I talk way too much. Also that I'm insanely self-depreciating

What's absolutely necessary for you to have in your writing environment?
Emmy: I don't write! :D But for everything its music... I have a soundtrack to my entire life. From waking to shut-eye.
Christina: Quiet
Emmy: Heheheh we would so not be good together when you are trying to write then? Me singing & dancing about as you need total quiet calm! LOL
Christina: This is why I have my own office upstairs- so I can close the door.

How would you describe yourself in five words?
Emmy: Loyal, chatty, sappy, friendly, optimistic. [My 6th would be randy! :) ]
Christina: Happy, empathetic, chatty, optimistic and a perv.

Questions for Emmy:

Christina: If you had to give three reasons why you love Twilight, what would they be?
Emmy: Edward, Edward, Edward... LOL -
Christina: I second this. The thing S.Meyer did so fabulously was create a hero we all fell in love with.

Emmy: Ok. Seriously?
The love - that unsinkable, unbreakable, infallible, complete even when in tatters, love.

Christina: What were your thoughts on Twilight in the first 30 pages?
Emmy: Honestly I don't know within the first 30 pages but - generally? Fucking hell! This is as good as everyone was hyping. I love Edward. Yup I am a fangirl - shame it all went tits up.

Christina: Breaking Dawn in the first 85? (I picked that page for a reason, tee hee. Look it up.)
Emmy: **Scurries off to bookcase** - OH I SEE WHY YOU NAUGHTY MINX! ;) - Seriously, I had read all the spoilers which I were SURE were fake - a baby named after loch ness that Jake was in love with? YEAH RIGHT! Oh dear. So up until 85 I was blissful. They were married, Jake had fecked off, they were on honeymoon & I was hoping that as most YA books are quite suggestive that we would get some sort of satisfaction. But just like Mick & the wrinkly rockers we were oh so denied.
Christina: I actually had a friend call me up and tell me to give her one good reason why she should continue. They really are quite suggestive for YA novels, aren't they? Looking back now I'm shocked at how horny Bella is!
Emmy: Yes they are suggestive. But a huge chunk of YA novels go a LOT further!!!

Christina: How long have you been in the fandom?
Emmy: I don't have a figgy actually C! 'Ang on - let me check! OK! I started reading & ransacking Twilight FF about May 2008!!! But I really only got into it in Summer. August time. I shamefully didn't review at all for months. So I only really started reviewing August/September 2008. Whew. Its been quite a whiley! :)
Christina: How has it changed?
Emmy: Its bigger - is it better? I don't know... I know more lovely people - but I have also seen people I thought were lovely behave in shameful ways. Does that make me sad? Yes of course. But. Their loss. I like what the fandom can achieve - thanks to the hardwork and determination of a few & the genorosity of many, FGB for example, or the Stacie campaign's. I love lots of the blogs. There are many I do not. But some of them are brilliantly done & expand and develop many layers of the fandom.
Christina: Yes. I don't necessarily know if its more negative now or there are just more places for people to vent.

Christina: You are a very prolific reviewer, I know I always look forward to your thoughts on a chapter. What do you think makes a good review?
Emmy: God I don't know. (Oh & THANK YOU!) Erm, probs honesty is the top thing - but tempered with tact & balance. . . Talk about the things that move you, what the chapter made you feel - & what it was about the chapter that made you feel that. Maybe discuss theories you have? Always ALWAYS be polite, respectful & friendly. Sometimes I am toooo friendly! lol - & I know sometimes I just prattle on without delivering anything of merit - but hopefully the author knows just how much their writing affected me? Right?

Christina: I know you have a lot of friends that are writers in RL, have you ever considered it yourself?
Emmy: Seriously? When I was younger I used to write very dark, very angsty poetry & short-stories. I think it was a reflection of the dark side of my life. If I WERE to write - I would have to be very inspired, have an idea that wouldn't leave me alone and an idea I really feel, believe and want - mind, body, heart & soul.... I know from my chums, how tough the biz is, how disciplined & motivated you have to be. How you have to do it for love - not for money or glory! Particularly if you are writing Children's fic - the JK's & Stephanie's are in the minority...

Christina: What makes you really disappear into a story?
Emmy: OOoooh. It has to be visual. REALLY visual. I have to be able to see the chapter/story playing in my mind's eye as I read. If I don't - I really struggle. Like really struggle. I need emotion. But not pain for the sake of pain. Love triangles are a HUGE turn-off for me. I find them too upsetting in RL to cope with them in fics. I HATE contrived fic's. I love lyrical, descriptive, emotive fics - that are grounded in reality - if they are supernatural that reality can be the type of emotion or bond the characters have. I have to believe. If I don't believe I won't read! :)
Christina: Oooh, good answer. I love when an author can make me so involved I'm shocked when I reach the end of the chapter.

Christina: What are you reading now? fic or not
Emmy: Jesus! Tough questions - I am reading SOoooooooooooooooooo much! FF's? out of control. a minimum of 10updates a day - that's a slow day... Outside of FF? Tons of really dull yet informative journals for work. & I am in love with poetry. Classical - ancient Greek I ADORE! But I adore most poetry - Carol Anne Duffy is a huge fave of mine at the mo!

Christina: What were the last three songs you blipped?
Emmy: I should have really checked this just before posting. But the following 3 songs are ones I reblip often at the mo anyways. Simian Mobile Disco ft. Beth Ditto – 'Cruel Intentions (Joker Remix)' Everything Everything – My Keys, Your Boyfriend HURTS – Wonderful Life

Questions for Emmy from around the fandom:

From HeatherDawn:
If you were a vampire, what would be your favorite type of animal to eat?
Emmy: Oooh good question!!!! Ooh I don't know... I don't think it could be an animal I like. I am a vegetarian in RL! LOL. So i'd be more likely to feed from humans! LOL or something gross & violent... erm? I really don't have a scooby.... I'll try & think on this... Hmmmm. Nothing with big eyes. So Cows, Horses, Deer's all out. Errrr Wild Boar or something? They feed off truffles & mushrooms don't they? They would prob taste quite pleasant? LOL

What is your most commonly used word when you review?
Emmy: ooooh another great question! Erm. Probs "Cheers" - I norm end a review with it. Although I do get review replies from asking what I am toasting for, or asking me if I am encouraging them to drink! lol. If not cheers - would probs be "Love" or "Brillo" - They seem to litter most of my reviews! I am an enthusiastic bitch when I love something!

How did you get your ff name?

Emmy. You know Heather, you are the only person to ask me this! :) I used to collect a series of books when I was wee. I LOVED them. I wanted a unique name for FF - that did not link back to me. My job at the time didn't allow online visibility - although not as bad as my current employer! So I went for a character from the munch bunch. The character name's I really wanted were already username's on ff. Although I just checked one of them & it is no longer... :/ It would have been so apt for me now too... LOL... Ach well! LOL

If you could choose only one genre of fanfiction to read, what would it be?

Emmy: Romance. - yup I am a soppy date! :) AND a hopeless romantic! Eternally so! :)

From ejsantry:
Being the avid reader you are, what is something you have read recently that was completely new?
Emmy: Shockingly - there is bollocks all brand new stuff that I have read.. everything I am reading has been trailblazed by others. BUT this is still my most favourite of under-reviewed gems: - Losing My Faith (an M rated AU story) the story and particularly the Bella is unique, meaning we see a different Edward & therefore a different dynamic with Edward - AND their chemistry is FABBIO!

What's been your most pleasant surprise from your experience with PPSS?
Emmy: I suppose just all the lovely new people I get to meet/chat with - & how the bonds between the Pack girls is stronger than ever. I adore every email that comes out from them - whether its sharing porn, pics, gossip, stories, advice or just general chitty-chatty!

From 4theluvofmary:
If you could travel to any country/city, where would it be?
Emmy: America - I just want to explore so much more of it. Just one city - if its one I haven't been to before it would be Tokyo. If one I have already been to? NYC - I bloody love that city.
If you were stranded on an island what 5 books would you want to bring with you?
Emmy: Books not ff? ooooh! :) Deffo some EM Forster - Howards End probably. Harry Potter! Its my feel good favourite! - Can I count all 7 as one choice? ;D oooh Sabriel Trilogy (The Old Kingdom Series) by Garth Nix- genius fucking author! I worship this series. So fucking clever & inventive. AND I adore his characters - very strong female's. Jesus I want to reread them now. ADORE them. Erm I would pack some Bill Bryson - for laughs.. He always makes me smile. & one of my all time fave's THAT EVERYONE MUST READ - This is All - The Pillow Book of Cordelia Kenn by Aidan Chambers

How did you get into the twilight fandom?
Emmy: Accidentally! LOL. I was majorly into the HP ff, but was totally obsessed with Edward Cullen & his all-consuming love for Bella. THEIR love drew me into the saga, you know? I HATE the Jake triangle nonsense. Just NO! :) Anyways - was looking and looking for decent AU - found none. Found all this stupid Bella getting up the duff stories - I chortled my arse off at that - until Breaking Dawn! - Cheers Meyers for that! So didn't really pursue the fandom, but my dear L was desperate for some decent ff. So I promised her I would keep looking in case I found some for her.... So I then stumbled upon some AH stuff. & the first fic I read & enjoyed was Across the Airwaves by Isabel0329 & the rest as they say is history! AU is still my fave btw. PLEASE SEND ME ANY WP FRIENDLY (no cheating & a hea) AU STORY LINKS! - ta muchly!

Do you remember the first fic you read? if so, what was it and how does it compare to the stories you are reading now?
Emmy: See above. I still think its a very good story. But I have read so so so so so many different stories now. There are so many good stories written now. I think the standards have deffo increased. More people use Beta's or have pre-readers to help them bash out any kinks. & there is much more variation away from canon traits and story lines. Certain fics will stand the test of time, ATA is one of them. Others will not I think when compared to the talent that is in the fandom today.

In your opinion, who is the sexiest edward?
Emmy: Hmmm button, do you mean playing him or fanficEdward? - for me its Robward for the novels & many ff's - but I often picture him older... :)

Is there a particular storyline or crossover you're dying to read about?
Emmy: Hmmm - I am shite... I really am well dense & can't think - until I read a synopsis or hear someone on twitter & I think! OOOOOOH! lol. From chatting with Christina the other night though - I realised that at the mo I am desperate for more AU - partic ones where he doesn't come back immediately - but does come back... (I know quite unwusspervy of me - but the usual/standard wussperv rules must apply! Lol)

When are YOU going to write? lol
Emmy: I won't! :) I have NO IDEAS! - see my answer to the above question for proof of this fact! ;)

What is your all time favorite piece of lingerie?
Emmy: oooh - if not some of my silk chemise's from Julianne it would have to be my lucky lilac - she never ever lets me down! :)

From Kassiah:
Does it get on your nerves that people do not consider the time difference for you? Christina: I agree. Do you ever sleep?
Emmy: LOL - hehehe I don't get tons of sleep - but tend to catch up at the weekend. BUT I ALWAYS miss out on the good stuff :( Partic all the skype session and all the fun on twitter. The party is normally dying down when I get up/leave for work. I tend to not check it first thing anymore - it just depresses me with all I have missed.. :'( Gets on my nerves though? Nah. I don't blame folk for not twigging. I mean I think a minimum of 85% must be stateside...

I was reading in your profile and Lily and James? Really? I mean, I can almost see her with Snape? But James? What gives?
Emmy: Its the ultimate love story. It functions on so many levels. 1: They are just a boring traditional couple in love. 2. They spent most of their school days fighting. 3. One was madly in love with the other, whilst covering it up with bravado and being a toss-pot. 4. They were fighting hard for what they believed in, the safety of themselves and others. - for others to be free from prejudice and persecution. 5. Rich boy with pedigree, "pure blood" & heritage married lower-class, lower status, "mudblood". 6. Smart, smart, fiery-tempered poor red-head, gives the king of the school the wake-up call he needed to grow up into the person he was meant to be. 7. They found happiness & love & destiny in one another - only to have it all snatched away from them. 8. They died tragically young. Leaving behind a tiny wee babbie! PLUS. Because we know so little of the detail of their back story, we just know the bones of their tale - its an absolute feast for FF. So much can be done with the characters and it still could be canon! Or just sticking to their core details you can create something completely new. Some stories are heart achingly sad - it ends with their deaths for fucks sake. Others can end before the melancholic stuff hits you in heart. I have read some beautiful one-shots that can focus on their bond - shown through the most mundane of scenario's and it turns into the most exquisite treasured piece. That is the strength of the writing. But the love wins through. Oh. In case you hadn't noticed - I am tragically canon in my pairings and the eternal romantic... What else could it be for me?

Do you prefer British Edwards?
Emmy: On Paper? Yes. In practice? Not usually. They normally are littered with errors. Things that feck me off big time. British men NEVER EVER NEVER say certain things....

What is one thing that you wish you had never read in FF?

Emmy: Hmmmmmmmh. I don't know. I really don't know. I detest reading about Bella with other men. Or Edward with other women. I know its pathetic and sad of me - but thats just the way I roll.... I am a pussy! The really horrific stuff? I try & block it out. I have stumbled upon the odd horrific story involving pedophilia or abuse - I normally report it & email ff and check it gets removed. I seriously do not & will NEVER understand why people think its sexy or a good idea to have extreme trauma like rape, incest and abuse and have it masquerading as smut. I know far too many people who have had their lives destroyed because of those situations in REAL LIFE. Why oh why would you ever want to try & pretend its sexy. For the love of god. Speak to these families - who have been completely & utterly destroyed before you read or write these sick fucking fics. Please. Just don't do it.

What is the first story that you read?
Emmy: I wish I could remember the name of the first god awful Bella preggers fic I read. It was so obviously immature, unrealistic & un-developed. I found terrible fic after terrible fic.. Which is why I gave up on AU for a looooooooooooong time.. Although its why I came into the fandom- trying to find all that was left lacking after the saga as it stood at that point... But I got stuck into some great AH's. ATA I mentioned above, but also Passion Fish. Why I COMPLETELY forgot about until I thought for this interview!! BAD ME! Lisa - will you ever forgive me for not remembering it (or reviewing it at the time?)

From MsKathy:
You're one of the most supportive readers in the fandom. Do you ever get tired of the drama and just want to leave/escape, or do you find yourself mostly shielded from the nasty?
Emmy: LOL - ain't you sweet? I think I am shielded from much of the nasty, pathetic, jealous bull-shit that permeates this fandom mainly because of the time difference. . Also I ain't on much other than Twitter & skype/G-chat as I always seem to run out of time to get back into Twilighted - although I think it a great site. I HATE the drama. It is SO unnecessary. I am not a spiteful person & I just do NOT get those that are - just for kicks. ~ Seriously nasty folks go get a life. Get some perspective and grow the fuck up! I pity your hate and venom immersed existence. And how about the recent brouhaha about authors adapting their stories into original fiction and getting it published? Its simply a no brainer to me. If an author comes up with a story, works hard on it - the ff authors I know work fucking hard on their stories - sacrificing much in their own life to keep readers happy and updates a-coming - they can do with it what they fucking wish! I am READER through & through. I am OWED absolutely bollocks all by any ff writer. So where the fuck do some of these folks get off? Saying how dare an author test a story on me? Whether they "tested" it on you or not is a moot point. They wrote it. You were just the lucky bastard they deemed to share it with. What have you got to bitch about? You read a story you really liked? Big whoop - good for you. Lucky you! You got to read a great story that brought you happiness/pleasure/sexy-times/emotion/humour or entertainment.. So what do you have to moan about now? The person that put all THEIR work into the story decided to do something more with it? Open it up to a brand new audience? Because be fucking honest & realistic folks. Yes the Twifandom is a huge one. But in terms of the big bad world - we are only a tiny portion of that. Anyone serious about publishing - is trying to get more than a small fandom to buy their books. Its about bigger things than twilight fanfiction. SO many of the stories I read - yes I enjoy them because I enjoy reading about the love of Bella & Edward. But the good stories transcend that twilight mantle - & so many of them I forget are even ff. The authors who are either trying to publish their books, have got a publishing deal or are self-publishing? They are not just selling their FF. They have put more hard work into licking their stories into new beasts that do not resemble the twilight saga plots or characters.. So what the fuck is there to grumble about? As a reader we are owed NOTHING! Sorry rant over. But I will not apologise for my words - I believe in them wholeheartedly. Grow the fuck up people. All this bullshite is so unnecessary. You are just creating shite because you are miserable jealous fuckers - at least be honest about it. :) But when all that is said & done. If you take out that tiny group ~ I do love this fandom. Honest guv! :)

What is your favorite adult toy?
Emmy: Hmmmm Kathy I am quite tame & boring! I love this kind of thing, just having fun & mucking about. - I got to be honest and say from the selection i've tried - I am a very boring bullet girl. They do what I like best, I like the real deal when it comes to being filled, you know. So bullets are great for me - I am pretty sensitive so they are quick and fun! I really like Tracy Cox's (a brit sex & relationship sexpert) range from LoveHoney - they are all soft & pink but pack a punch... :) (Yes I DO own too much from her range!) I almost bought some bondage tape from her range as it was bright pink... But haven't broached it with the git yet... :)

What are your top 3 songs to listen to while sexin', if you listen to music?

Emmy: Kathy I STG - there is no way I can answer this. I am a music whore. I love tooo many songs to name 3 - they so depend on my mood.. BUT - this is one of my all time fave sexy songs... for foreplay, warming up & slow fucking. Generally I like really hard, heavy, fast beats for sexing. I love Dubstep music generally so listen to a lot of that. I need a rhythm I can feel, sex is like dancing to me. Gotta feel the beat & get lost in it. I couldn't choose another 2 - they change too much for me to do so.

What/where would your dream vacation be?

Emmy: I love the states - so probs hopping over the pond... Or to Hong Kong/Japan

From ninapolitan
What can you tell us about the Scottish Stallion?
Christina: Um....yum.
Emmy: AKA The Git? (It IS a term of endearment - honestly!) Lol! At the moment - he's being a petulant, tantrumming git.. So maybe its not the right time to talk about him! Lol. When we are together everything is great, everything works - & works well. (VERY WELL! **nudge nudge wink wink**) But being apart sucks and causes probs. I have nothing for love and admiration for him though for putting his wee daughter first. . . . He can be very sweet, very funny, very sexy, very thoughtful and normally I feel very lucky to have him in my life. I have a weakness for his smell, & his shoulders. His shoulders under a white suit shirt? Kill me dead. But generally the best thing about him? Apart from him being a wonderful Daddy to his wee bairn? How he makes me feel when we are together. Special, sexy, attractive, intelligent, funny, warm - I like feeling that way. PS ~ He loves his nametag the pack bestowed him "Scottish Stallion"... I don't use it very often! ;)

What does the name Rapunzel mean?
Emmy: Its a stupid nickname that I must admit I love... One day I will get an avi for it. Erm. I have very long curly blonde hair. And well the git is kind of obsessed with it. In a good way. Its what first got his attention apparently. . . . Plus he knows I love fairytales - I have a thing for them - the classics and what I class as modern fairy tales. So it kind of started as a fun thing. But it is now deffo a term of endearment. Kind of like how I call him the git. - Rapunzel is much nicer though isn't it?! lol. I got the best end of the stick there! He does have other names for me but Rapunzel is all I am revealing. :)
Who do you love more, Nina or Christina?
Emmy: Oooh that's a meanie meanie question Nina... Until I meet you both at ComCon I probs would have to just say you my petal - I've known you longer & a day is not complete without at least one email from you... But then again - I have at least actually spoken to the lovely C.....! ;)
Who is your favorite member of the PPSS (teehee)
Emmy: COW! ~ Whoever our rotating Honourary Perv's are for the month! HA! Didn't expect that answer did you?! ;) That is actually a very hard question to answer. What I like best about the pack is that everyone has something different to offer. Everyone has a different fave fiction or perversion! Everyone has a different situation going on at home, in their real life, so everyone brings something different to the mix. I just love, our new for 2010, Honourary Perv's too! Each new Honourary Perv brings new tricks to the table! We have got some brillo Honourary Perv's lined up for the year. Its gonna be fabbio! :)
How drunk will we have to get you at Comic Con to get you lit enough for girl kisses.
Emmy: Not much? You do actually read my emails and text's Nina don't you? I am an easy slag - & if I already feel affectionate? Heaven help us all! I can't even believe you even bloody asked this! :)

Are you happy that you're the sole foreign representative for the PPSS?
Emmy: I actually think its more fun that I (think) am the only blonde in the PPSS? :D But seriously re being the foreign bird? I quite like that handle. Or token brit works.. But I do hate missing out on the action - mother fucking time difference!

Where do you get all of your pics for the foreign hottie?
Emmy: Gay blogs - god bless them! They have the hottest blokes... I don't think our tiny island does that bad in the hottie tottie stakes - but I do dip into Europe & Brazil a fair bit too! :) Some of the ones I pick I know - not personally! GOD I WISH! But from events/sports/media etc.. Others I see someone & then see British/Irish/French & go BINGO! Yay! - I am meticulous in making sure no American blokes make it into my section. - Does that only read rude to me?

Football or Rugby?
Emmy: As a sport? Footie - everytime. But for the tottie? Probs Rugby.. Although I do love the lean build of a footballer... I just hate their constant spitting... Too many footabllers are chav's...


Rugger Bugger?

But I think everyone knows my first love is cricket!! :) (I like the one on the far right! - "Cook") (Its not the best pic. But Cricketer's are a classy bunch. They don't flash as much skin as other sportsmen. But they do wear tight white's though! ;) - and I have a thing for The Willow......

From Twisherry:
What is your favorite alternative for the word "fuck"?
Emmy: As in to fuck? or oh fuck or fuck it all meaning? Hmmm. Shag instead of fuck. & bollocks instead of oh fuck respectively.
What is your favorite sexual position to read about in FF?
Emmy: I love intimate positions. But its more than the position in Lemons for me. Its the intensity of how that position is written. Some writers make the missionary delightful and the doggy delightful... A really talented author like Lola or Tara can make anal sex the most intimate, romantic gift to one another. It all depends on the quality of the delivery - the WRITING I mean! ;)

What is your favorite sexual position to experience?
Emmy: Deffo fave is from behind. But when there is lots of skin on skin contact. I prefer standing or sort of sitting all close and glued together, so any vibrations of one is felt by the other, the face has to be able to be turned and so much of the body can be accessed. I just love the intimacy. I love cuddles in bed that turn rampant. I need to feel arms around me tight, feel overwhelmed almost by his closeness, strength and coverage. If that makes sense? Its all about how it makes me feel in the head...
What have you read in FF that you want to try in your RL?
Emmy: Oh aye! Fucking shedloads!! Erm. I spose - FF has made me want to do more toy play. Oh and deffo's more bondage play. I am too stubborn and opinionated to relinquish completely. BUT I like to play. There can be little things that stay with me too. Things not blatantly, explicitly graphic. Like the scene near the end of Home (by the fabbio Nina) where they end up getting heavy in the flour made me think about how I want it on the worktop after I have made him his fave brownie's or millionaire's shortbread - the smell of chocolate & cocoa in the air and flour & icing sugar all over the worktop and us.. Not made that happen yet. But I WILL!
What is the one thing you wish you had never read in FF?
Emmy: Sick fics. I fucking cannot stand them!
Is there something in FF that makes you cringe whenever you read it?
Emmy: When folks write Shuttering instead of shuddering, and similar replacement errors! Eeeek

What in FF always makes you tingle in all the right places whenever you read it? What pairing do you have the hardest time reading? Is there a pairing that you would absolutely no fucking way, read?
Emmy: I DETEST E or B with other partners, unless its before a B/E pairing. I enjoy reading slash though. Dirty cheating hypocrite that I am! :D

What is your biggest pet peeve in real life?
Emmy: Cruelty of any kind to any person or animal. I suppose thats bigger than a peeve isn't it? In that case. SPITTING. GAH! QUIT IT! I do not want to see you hoicking up your guts as I walk down the street. Minger!!!

What is your biggest pet peeve in FF?
Emmy: People who think that its sexy or challenging to write abuse/rape/paedophilia scenes that masquerade as smut. Again that is bigger than a peeve - but I detest it. Ok so a smaller thing? Erm... Probs people who write something they obviously have no experience of. Either find out through friends or their own research.. Do the research people. Don't just make it up.

What is something about yourself that would surprise those who know you in the fandom?
Emmy: Erm? That I am actually quite shy in RL.... Honest guv! I swear it! (Only till I know you though!)
What is something about yourself that your RL people would be surprised about in regards to your participation in the fandom, and not the obvious, like you write fan fiction?
Emmy: That I am such a slaaaag. Lol - seriously apart from those that know me REALLy well, everyone else thinks of me as quite reserved and a proper lady! Almost prudish? But those who do know me well? Well! I always get told by those that do know me well enough, "you look like butter wouldn't melt - yet..... " LOL

If you were stuck on a deserted island what is the one thing you would take and who is the one person you would take?
Emmy: My mobile phone. Its a heap of junk but at least I can connect to the inter on it! :) Oh & call for help! LOL Who would I take. Either the git or my best pal.
Ok now in your fantasy world, if you were stuck on an island what is the one thing you would take and who is the one person you would take?
Emmy: It would have to be suncream/moisturiser - I burn like cheese on toast under the grill... Porcelain blonde and all that - Hmmm who would I take with me? There are so many hot hot scrummy blokes. But - I don't know if they could keep me entertained you know? I am a chatty bitch & need someone who has more going on than their meat & 2 veg... Now I am sure Rob would be interesting company... I am sure I could have a riot... I'd like to think so.. But I would probs play it safe and answer as above. oooh if on the question above I could say Rob - if he got lost I am sure half of the world's paparazzi would try & find him, so we'd get rescued! :D :D
What is your favorite non-twilight book?
Emmy: Hmmmm probs E M Forster's Howard's End - but any of the books I talk about in a similiar question! OH & I LOVE cookery books! & Photography books!
What is your favorite non-twilight movie?
Emmy: Hmmmmmh. I am such a sappy twat. I love all sorts of stuff. Ghostbusters. Groundhog Day. Enchanted. Stardust. LOTR. B2TF(1,2 & 3 - 2's my fave though!). Pretty Woman. Moonstruck. All the Almodovar films. L.A Confidential. National Lampoon's Vacation series. Beetlejuice (ANYTHING BURTON!). ANYTHING MERCHANT IVY. Anchorman. Like my music - my films are pretty eclectic.
What is your favorite non-twilight recreational activity?
Emmy: Sex or drinking. :) or spending time with my chums.
What did you do with all of your free time before Twilight?
Emmy: Crikey don't remind me. Do more exercise? Read more real books & watch more tv/films...
What is your favorite line in any or all of the Twilight books?
Emmy: I honestly don't know. I am le lame!!!

What is your favorite line in a FF story?
Emmy: Again I am craptastic. Not a scooby! (but I have a weakness for only-youWard's....)
If you could change one thing besides the fade to black and/or Renesmee, what would you change in the Twilight series?
Emmy: More of their fucking love... I mean come-on its a love story. The majority of BD is missing that love... & GOD did we need more Edward/Ren time. Daddy's & Daughters are so damn cute. I think SM sold Edward short in the whole series. It was almost like she was obsessed with him but didn't like him very much... Kwim?
What is your favorite color?
Emmy: Purple

What part of the male body are you most drawn to visually?
Emmy: Shoulders. Oh & lips. I have a thing for mouths.. I couldn't verbalise what about lips - it just has to be a mouth I can nibbley-dibbley on! ;)
What is the most surprising thing you have found in the Twilight fandom?
Emmy: The fabbio birds! :) (I do mean that - even after my above bitch at the tiny poisonous minority) :)

What is your alltime favorite lemon...the one you go back and read over and over because it just gets you so hot and bothered?
Emmy: I honestly don't think I could just pick one. I really don't. For a whole fic? Prob's anything Lola Shoes has done. The intensity within her prose kills me.
That's it for interview, it's a doozy! Tune in next week for starfish422 & EJSantry!