"Mr. Horrible" by Algonquinrt

This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Our Guest Reviewer is AdorableCullens!

Title: "Mr. Horrible "
Author: algonquinrt
Chapters: 21
Words: 88,856
Reviews: 2759
Summary: They meet at a gallery, from two different worlds. Watch as they learn each other's language and culture... oh, who am I kidding here? They meet. They are opposites. They attract. Rated M for serious potty mouth and scenes of the citrus variety. AH/AU

Guest Reviewer-AdorableCullens

Out of the blue one fine March day, algonquinrt sent me a piece of her writing – no explanation, no context, nuthin’. I opened it. Read the first line. And laughed.

I didn’t know what I was looking at, but I knew it was pure win.

That was my introduction to Mr. Horrible, the funniest, most profane and, ultimately, the most charming Twific going. I’ll tell you why I love this story so much, but first, let me try to summarize the romp that is Mr. H’s plot.

Bella (aka Baby Swan) is a 25-year-old, under-employed free spirit who temps at boring office jobs by day and hags by night for James (aka Victoria Secretion), her lifelong pal who also happens to be a drag queen. Edward (aka Rich Kid) is a good boy from a wealthy, upper-crust family. He’s the wunderkind CEO and founder of a Facebook-a-like social network. And wow, does he need to get out more.

The two meet by chance in an art gallery, which leads to a cultural collision of tsunamic proportions. It’s like a foreign exchange on crack. Or maybe Patron and Xanax.

Lining up on Baby Swan’s team is her best friend Alice (a fragrance chemist with a laugh like a braying donkey), James/Victoria (the emotionally manipulative kindergarten teacher/drag queen) and Emmett (aka Mitt-Mitt, conspiracy theorist writer and brother to James).

Rich Kid brings best friend Jasper (Edward’s CTO with a touch of the metro in him), Rosalie (his beautiful, bitchy and over-protective sis) and his parents, Esme (his loveable but chronically schnockered mama) and Carlisle (who wisely advises his lovestruck boy right from the start “Son, you are completely and utterly fucked.”)

If your jaw is dangling and you’re thinking WTF, all I can say is – you don’t know algonquinrt.

She’s a stickler for detail, a slave to her research and a terrific writer. The characters may be bouncing off the walls (or exchanging fisticuffs at gay clubs, take your pick), but essentials like plot, characterization and continuity never waver. Reality check – the nuttier your characters, the more strictly disciplined the story and writer must be in order for things to work. algonquinrt gets this in spades.

There are a million reasons why you need to read this fic, not the least of which is that it is a fucking stitch. But here are a few of my faves:

1. Laurent. Hands down the best Laurent ever written in Twific. He’s the Cullen’s rockin’ butler who finds a kindred spirit in the feisty Baby Swan. Their battle to one-up one other in introducing snooty Cullen Mansion to the pleasures of everyday life is epic. EPIC.

2. Pop Culture Bonanza. Every chapter of Mr. H is jam-packed with gems referencing movies, art, history, television, books, fashion and more. The fun of spotting an old favorite or learning something new adds to the texture of the story.

3. Jesus Potty Mouth Christ! I curse like a sailor (just ask my coworkers), but Mr. Horrible takes profanity to a new level. Between the machine gun-style usage of the classic F word and the Oscar-winning taking of the Lord’s name in vain, the language in Mr. H is not for the faint of heart. It is also (pardon my French) fucking hilarious. Mr. Horrible is a terrific read. Baby Swan and Rich Kid – for all the laughs and lunacy – are believable and complex. Anyone who can’t see a little of themselves in these two imperfect but delightful characters just isn’t looking fucking hard enough.

Jesus Awesome Story Christ …

Bri- I have so many good things to say about this fic, it's not even funny. I'll be honest - I kept seeing the ridiculous flashing siggies going all around twi - I mean, a drag queen with a blue wig?? - and honestly thought...wtf is this all about?? But, Kath assured me it was hilarious and I should give it a go. So, I did. And, I have not laughed harder in a fic in... well, ever. Algie has created two of the best Edward and Bella's I've ever read (and that's saying a whole fucking lot because I read this shit like I consume caffeine). I love how she weaves humor throughout even when we are dealing with shitty issues.



Even the supporting cast in this fic are well written and woven in perfectly. Laurent is defs my fave (TNC is the bomb, and I love jello-cake) but good old Granny Platt and her talk of the po-po come in a close second.



This is definitely one of the few fics I drop everything to read when an update comes in. Wanna know why? Cuz being home with two hellions all fucking day long, I could use some little laughs. And, smut doesn't hurt either. She does them both so well. I'll be laughing so hard I'm crying in one minute and flushed in the next. Trust me when I say you won't be disappointed when you read this fic. I'm giving it 5/5 panties from me - and you know that's a big fucking deal. :)






Emmy- I have the lovely Kathy to thank for telling me to read this after a few chapters in saying it was funny & good & sexy. & by golly she was right! This is one of those stories that I just have to sneak a peak & read when I get the alert - whether I be in a meeting; supposedly working at my desk; trying to sleep or as quite frequently of late, up a ladder painting.. :)



I think what I like most about Mr Horrible is that it is deceptively straightforward to fall into. Its so easy to read, so easy going and funny and the characters so entertaining that you get hooked straightaway.. But this is where the deception comes in. Because Algie's story is not straightforward. Nah-ah! There are things ahead for these characters that you really do not see coming... Both her Edward (Rich Kid) & her Bella (Baby Swan) [Seriously after Hot Bitch penned by our lovely Nina, are they not the best Twilight ff nicknames ever?!] have many many layers and through the course of this fic they genuinely develop... Not only does our understanding of who they are and where they are increase but their own does too as they grow individually but also as a couple too.. That is no mean feat in a fic... AT ALL.



I also really like the tone of Mr H. Its light, its fecking hilarious, its edgy (can something be both edgy and light? Well to hell with that as Mr Horrible is!!), and has an incredible supporting cast - including my favourite uses of James, Laurent & Esme EVER! This is a real don't you dare drink anything over your laptop whilst reading it story, as you just don't know where this is going to go next..



& yes the sex.... Well my darlings let me tell you.. There is hot sexing and sexy times in Mr H. There is also realistic sexing and sexy times. Additionally there is realistic and yet very hot sex and sexing in Mr Horrible... Again this is often no mean feat!!! & the last chapter... Well that made me want to go get a flight, any flight & go get myself some from the boyo...But I won't tell you what happened and spoil it all for you now.. I wouldn't be so mean...


What I will say is this. Go read Mr Horrible. Its fabbio. Algie is a genius who has created a masterpiece full of car crash, slapstick, pastiche, emotion, warmth and beauty (oh & a potty mouth to put mine to shame [those who don't know me don't know that the third floor of my office echoes with the blue exclamations that pour non-stop from within my room!] which is genius & inventive and fecking hilarious). READ MR HORRIBLE. DOOOOOO IT! a deffo 5 Betty Paige stylie to drive Rich Kid out of his tiny yet genius preppy mind knickers out of 5 story this one!



Hope- Kathy is my go-to girl for fics. She knows the good shit and I love all the stories she has recommended to me. But when she described Mr. Horrible to me, I was hesitant to read. It sounded like the worst kind of crack-fic; James is a drag queen, his stage name is Victoria Secretion and Edward & Bella's first date is at a drag show, say what? But it's not crackfic, trust me it's not. Comedy is hard (snicker) and Algie does it so fucking good. But this story is not just quippy, clever remarks, vivid and hilarious characterizations (Drunksme and Laurent being some of my fav’s) and pop culture references (I srsly wonder where she comes up with this shit sometimes). There is a love story of epic proportions underneath the smart mouths and hilarious thoughts of all the parties involved.



I have to admit that this is my favorite Bella & Edward of all fucking time. Yes, of all time. There is something endearing and enchanting about both of these characterizations. Sure Bella or 'Baby Swan' as Edward nicknames her has a foul mouth, an penchant for the odd and unusual and has the habit of putting Christ on food products , but she is all tough exterior with a fragile marshmallowy center that only a rare few ever see. There is an innocence about her, she's not sheltered and her life hasn't been easy but she has few of the experiences that we gather and collect as we go through life. Now Edward or 'Rich Kid' as Bella nicknames him is all shy nerdiness, bored with the monotony of his day-to-day existence and sees the humor and ridiculousness in his family’s high-society life. He has had all the requisite life experiences, but they were meaningless and perfunctory. And he has a wicked cool nickname for his cock that we soon discover. Hehe. Meeting Bella at an art gallery his mother dragged him to, to see an O'Keefe exhibit of all things. Edward observes her going against the flow and ebb of the other patrons, marching to her own beat. He is enthralled and intrigued by this non-conformity, something that he would never dream of doing. He finds himself caught up in the whirlwind that is Bella and her life and couldn't be fucking happier about it, but makes the initial mistake of not looking below the surface of the odd, beautiful woman that has captivated him. They both have painful pasts that eventually come out. For all their differences these two fit together perfectly. Because at the heart of it, they are the same only with different journeys to get to where they are now.

This is an opposites attract story that is popular in the fandom now, but this is without a doubt the best one. The story isn’t just about their differences, it’s how their differences make them the same and how in the end they are not the different to begin with. Also, Mr. Horrible has a motley crew of entertaining and well rounded side characters helps to give this story a life and lushness that other stories don’t have.
Now I find Rich Kid fucking sexy. I have a thing for Geek/Nerdwards and this one is those things while being laidback and confident, a strange mix of the two aspects that is not often found in Geekwards. It makes him all the more hotter, imo. His thought processes and internal dialogue crack my ass up. And his epiphany about being love with Bella is the best I have ever read.

Onto the smut. Yes, there is a deflowering scene. And one I haven’t seen written quite like this before. It’s sweet and tender while still being hot and keeping with the comedic tone of the story. Edward gets to live out everyman’s fantasy of having a girl in his room at his parent’s house, hehe. Then in the latest chapter there is a break from the lovemaking that RK & BS have been having. We get Caveman Kid brought about by Bella wearing his t-shirt and nothing else. Edward loses himself in the primalness of his own lust, and hot damn who doesn’t love that?? Algie makes the lovin’ hot and steamy and still sweet and meaningful, while still bringing the funny. The mixture of all those things makes her smut some of the best I have ever read.

Mr. Horrible, both the story and the namesake get 4.5 pink and white polka-dotted Hello Kitty panties out of 5 from moi. Why only 4.5, cause I want more schmexy times from these two. And maybe a little Mitt-Mitt and Rosalie on the side.



Beks- This story hit a little close to home for me because I'm a complete fucking mess, I cry a record number of time per calendar year and my Type A bf keeps me from ruining my life at least 3 times a week. I really enjoyed Mr. Horrible. The sexing was fabu and the Edward was downright squeezable. I have to admit that my favorite part of the whole thing was Emmett's nickname. Every chapter with him or even a mention of the adorable moniker had me wishing for a Mitt-Mitt of my very own. In addition I think Bella's wardrobe deserves its very own outtake. I am interested to see what else algonquinrt's profile has to offer. 4 well-worn panties out of 5.

Kathy- Much like adorablecullens, algonquinrt story bombed me with parts of the first chapter. I read it, laughed hysterically and then begged for her to tell me which story it was. Imagine my surprise to find out it was an Algie original. I had read (and loved) Suburban Ennui, and was, I admit, a little afraid to read No Trust in Tomorrow. With two angsty stories under her belt, I expected... well... more angst in the next story.

But no – to do the expected would be very unlike Algie, I have learned. Thank God for originality. For the first several chapters, I would chat furiously with friends I knew were reading. These conversations went something along these lines. “Have you figured it out yet??” “No!!! You!??!” “God damn it, no!! Christ on a cracker, who or what is Mr Horrible?”. No joke. We agonized, we strategized, we thought and thought until I'm fucking SURE there was steam coming out of my ears. I'm not going to ruin it for you – it's worth the very short wait to find out who or what Mr. Horrible is.

Baby Swan is a strong character, with a hysterical personality and lifestyle. Rich Kid is lovable from the start. There is just no way to NOT love an Edward that will take Baby Swan, a complete stranger, for coffee and Snickers Pie. Edward mistaking the drag show Bella invites him to in chapter 2 for racing was one of the funniest moments I had read.. until chapter 3, where Jasper makes the same fucking mistake.

Then, there is an exchange in chapter 3, where Bella says, “Him being hot is just like putting frosting on a fucking brownie. It's awesome and shit, but all the stuff that really turns you on is already there, underneath.” and Alice replies with “A brownie, you say? Well, om nom fucking nom. Now let's start getting ready so I can go meet this hot piece.”

Ben & Jerry's must owe Algie some free Mission to Marizpan by now; everyone I've ever talked to about this story immediately ran out and bought a pint after chapter 8. If you haven't, go. Unless you're allergic to almonds, in which case, enjoy some Chunky Monkey or Chubby Hubby, perhaps.

Aside from the laughs, this story does a gradual build to something more. You grow to love these characters – from Alice, to Jasper, to Mitt-Mitt and even, dare I say, Jamie/Victoria. As each chapter gives us more insight into them, we see who they are, what motivates them, and why we should love them. It's complex, it's complicated, it's messy, it's funny, it hurts at times, it made me cry (duh). It's real. I'm not going to spoil any plot elements, but trust me, there is SO MUCH MORE to this story than what we're telling you.

At chapter 2, I knew I was in love with this story and began to pimp it to everyone I know. If you know me, I generally have a 3-5 chapter rule – I don't pimp a story until chapter 3 AT LEAST, period, because I've seen them tank fast and hard. I just couldn't hold back with this one. I knew that anyone having a total shit day would need to read this and experience some of the most unique and funny spins on these characters I have seen. Wait, I forgot to talk about the sexin'.

Even though algonquinrt has said (I think on her Twilighted story thread?) that sometimes lemon writing makes her go “hood up” on her hoodie, she does it with style and grace. Oh, okay, and it's fucking hot, too. Chapter 13 nearly broke me. Much like Baby Swan, I had to get out my Patron after. The sex is always real here – there are real problems, real moments, real descriptions. 5 fucking panties out of 5.

Miya- Fiberkitty is sneaking some web time on her hubby's computer since her laptop caught a virus and ate a Norton disk. Can we send one of Geekward's minions to fix my laptop and CTO Jasper to fix me? On the smut, I'd give the story a 3.5/5 but for bringing the funny 10/5. There are ten words that sum up this story: Cthulu slippers, Hello Kitty panties, Po-Po, TNC, and jello cake.



Nina- I like smut & I like comedy. I'll wait for the collective gasp to stop before I continue. I need your undivided attention for this. Okay, I'm being douchey and obviously I'm kidding. In all seriousness though, I want you to think long and hard (ha) about the Twilight fandom, and tell me how many authors are out there that are true comedic writers? Yeah, there aren't many. What we have here with Algie is not only a great comedic writer but also a sexy bitch that writes some tasty and funny smut. You've got to love that combination.

Kathy sent out an email simply stating, "Do you want to laugh? Read this it's fuckawesome!" Okay, maybe those weren't her exact words but the sentiment is there. I read the first two chapters and fell in love. It doesn't take much to make me laugh out loud, but it does take a lot to make me snort, laugh and cry while reading a story. Algie accomplishes all three with Mr. Horrible.

The title, in the beginning, pokes you in the ass everytime you read it because you're constantly trying to figure out what it relates too. Needless to say when the ahem...big reveal actually happens it's so fucking worth it that you scratch your head thinking that you should've realized it before. The heart of "Mr. Horrible" is the lives of Baby Swan and Rich Kid. I love both monikers but I have to say that I prefer Edward Cullen not-quite-the-second. That makes me laugh everytime she says it. It's not your typical fluffy story that makes you laugh and hot. No, Algie manages what few can accomplish, she weaves funny one-liners, great smut and an actual fucking story.

It's not just Baby Swan and Edward Cullen not-quite-the-second that makes this story so fucking fantastic. There is Mitt-Mitt (the best name for Emmett ever!), James aka Victoria Secretion, a fantastic portrayal of the A/J duo, Rose as a glorious frigid bitch, ahhhh Carlisle, but it's Esme, Laurent and Granny Platt that fucking steal the scenes they grace.

All in all, Mr. Horrible is a genuinely delightful gem in the fandom. It's got great smut and I might add a very well done 'first time' scene. Algie writes just the right amount of drama but most importantly this fucking story will make you laugh out loud repeatedly.

5 Jesus Fucking Christ out of 5 from moi


Stephie- Like most have already said, I have Kathy to thank for sucking me into Mr. H. I'm pretty sure it was during some of my more rather "emo" moments where she basically screamed at me to read this lovely fic, because once I started, I couldn't NOT laugh my ass off. I put it off, put it off, put it off (trying to write, not bc I didn't want to read it) until finally I couldn't put it off any longer. And once I started reading it all I could think was, WTF took me so long?

Baby Swan and Rich Kid are seriously two of the best E/Bs out there. I love that Bella just tells it like it is. She opens her mouth and she is such a no filter type of girl. Instead of it being obnoxious though, it is endearing; especially knowing her inner thoughts. Because even though she seems strong and in charge, she has this vulnerability that I love. Rich Kid is sexy and nerdy and just great through his attempts at being himself and wooing Baby Swan. One of my favorite scenes is when Baby Swan goes to brunch at the Cullens and Edward just has the greatest time sitting and watching Bella hold her own.

I also have to agree with so many that have said Mitt Mitt is the greatest nickname for Emmett. In fact, I think I was chatting with Kathy (who was still pestering me to read) when I got to that part and just about fell out my chair. Mitt Mitt! Thank God he's not as annoying as Jar Jar Binks. Mitt Mitt just proves that Algonquinrt has the ability to not only build up the two main characters, but make the "supporting" cast come to life as well.

I'm not currently caught up so I'm avoiding what is being said (lalalala I can't hear you guys!). I know that I suck for that. But I'm being dilligent. And I would've stayed up to read the last couple chapters and then review, only I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn. I wish that I could rate this fic with two different types of panty wettings...one for the hot sexin and two for how often I've laughed so hard I was afraid I'd pee my pants. Ok...that sounds gross, but you know what I mean, right? I give it a 4/5 (with some Snickers pie on the side for making their first time real and still great to read.)


~*~
In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the author to share a bit about herself...


algonquinrt, or “Algie” is a smokin' hot 30+ MILF of four. (Yes, four. That sometimes happens when you have a lot of smex.) In her spare (haha) time, she writes Mr. Horrible, No Trust in Tomorrow, and various rants about fanfic on her FF.net profile. When she isn't folding laundry, she's making Baby Swan and Rich Kid do insane things together, sometimes bringing Jamie/Victoria into the mix. Or, she's AFK scraping one of the four kids she is raising on her own off the ceiling. In case Rpatz is looking for a “more experienced” woman or Big Daddy C is real and wears Doc Martens, she is single, owing to her jerkwad of an ex who decided to waltz off into the sunset to indulge in a second adolescence. (The first was apparently not enough to satisfy his childish need for as much poon as he could handle. He likes to meet women online, so watch out for him.)

Alternately downing Patron and popping Xanax, Algie also finds time to read and review those fics you haven't found yet, championing the underdog. (pssst... go read Poughkeepsie. You know you love Hoboward). You know she's having a bad day if she's got both the Patron and Xanax in hand and the hood is up. She spends so much time in her hoodie she thought AngstGoddess wrote Wide Awake about her. She does, however, have a spare, although it's not as good as The Hoodie.

In a previous life, she did everything geeky you can imagine, including Academic Team, AP classes, computer programming, and celebrity blogging. (That last job involved playing Jeopardy against Satan to get her soul back when the gig was over.) She currently whores herself as a freelance writer in the real world, and hopes to someday write a real book that turns into a movie starring Rpatz. She promises that if that happens, there will be NO FTBs and a lot of full frontals.

Also, Algie wants to thank Bri for rocking out the awesome banner in record time!