Monday, December 26, 2011

Smutdown to 2012

 
SmutDown to 2012

It’s been a great year here at the Pack, and we wanted to celebrate by listing some of our favorite fics of 2011. Let us know in the comments section your top five favorite fics from 2011. As you’ll see, each Perv picked their top five, but it was a true smutdown here, because we all loved many of the ones listed below!

We hope you enjoy this holiday season! Take some time to rejuvenate and relax with family and friends. We’ll be doing the same as we take a brief PerVacation. We’ll see you again in the new year!

Chele
2011 was an awesome year for fanfiction. I have so much gratitude to those authors who’ve cumulatively invested thousands of hours of work to share their stories. The difficulty we pervs had in choosing between so many amazing fics to highlight here is proof that there are some immensely talented authors writing fanfic.

Though my roots are planted firmly in Tw-fic, I branched out a bit this year to discover awesome smut in several other fandoms. There is magnificent smut everywhere! The best is always yet to come.


AU, Complete, Paul/Bella

Few fics made Team Anything Goes collectively flail over updates quite like Miror Quaenam Sis Tam Bella.

It is rare that a non-canon pairing like Bella and Paul gets the attention of a truly talented author who fleshes out the characters and builds them an AU story that inspires a love in the reader that rivals that of canon. This is that story. MeraNaamJoker wrote a fic far beyond even our wildest hopes for those two. The way she breathed life, depth and passion into Paul made us all want him for our own, and her vivid descriptions of the imprint and it’s compulsions far exceeded the simplistic trappings of canon.

This is a true exploration of a “What if this happened instead.....” scenario, the likes of which are the foundation of fanfiction. There is fantasy, and sex, and raw, aching need, and you’re cheating yourself if you haven’t read it already.


Transformers,

Fracture Mechanics is, perhaps, my favorite fanfiction in any fandom, ever. It combines the emotions of love and the horrors of war, in a tale of star-crossed lovers, treason, and desperate need. It drives the reader to ask - what if loving someone was wrong? Could you stop yourself? Would you want to?

The first chapters are a total mindfuck, and I couldn’t tell who’s side I was on and who I was rooting for. By the end, you realize that there is no difference between good and evil other than perspective, and that truly, the only possible hope for peace is rooted in love.

The erotic content speaks beyond body type and the passion moves outside the physical and speaks to the very basest attractions and desires. Fracture Mechanics made me feel every emotion. At some points I laughed and smiled ecstatically as I exalted in their love. At one point my cold heart broke and I wept openly.

This fic isn’t for everyone. If it takes a detailed description of Edward’s 6-pack to get you off, you may not be able to adjust to the mechanoid body type, but if you love an intricately woven story with amazing detail, and are willing to let your heart be ripped from your chest while your pants melt to your chair, you need to give this a chance.


AH, WIP, E/B

If you’d told me in January that a Cherry Exchange entry about Edward and Bella with Religion in the title would end up in my top fics list of 2011, I’d have called you a liar, yet here it sits in my favorites.

This fic goes against everything I’m usually drawn to and yet it at its heart it is such a beautifully executed story that it transcends all preference. It will grab you by the heart, romance your mind, and ask your pants to go steady. The volume of emotion in the first chapters alone leaves you hopelessly en rapt, and the intensity only builds as you get to know the characters more. The love and devotion felt by Edward and Bella is a balm for a soul-deep ache.

If you aren’t already reading this story, you should be. It is a gift.


Harry Potter Universe, Severus/Hermione

This is the fic that launched an obsession. When The Love You Take was first recc’d to me, I knew almost nothing of the Harry Potter stories, but a certain insidious slut (Jeanne) lured me in with promise of forbidden Teacher/Student rendezvous, and the most amazing smut-based plot premise ever written. I was hooked.

This was so gloriously well-written, and perfectly smuttastic that I became immediately hooked on the pairing, the universe, and all things Harry Potter. Yes, this story is so good that I read the canon just to have a better understanding of the characters in this fic.

The Love You Take is beautifully written, amazingly erotic, and passionately plotted. If you are even remotely tempted to try the Harry Potter fandom, or if you’re just in the mood for one of the best smutty plotlines ever explored, you must give this a shot.


AH, WIP, Edward/Siobhan

These two authors can make love to a reader with their words. Though most certainly academically researched, this story, a period piece, reads like it’s spoken in native tongue. You can feel the earth beneath your hands, and Edward’s rough calloused fingers trailing down your arm as you read.

This smut isn’t my typical wickedly erotic fare. It’s subtle and quiet and reminds me of little snippets of realistic wedding nights that I dog-eared pages in my English Lit books because despite their lack of graphic description, the nervous consummation between a virginal man and wife made me tingle and feel like a voyeur. Yes, this is literature with all the trappings of realistic attraction and Edward with an amazingly sexy Irish brogue. Siobhan is lovely and her strength of character is a refreshing change from all the simpering leading ladies which tend to flood my inbox.

The writing is masterful, the characterizations divine, and I guarantee you will fall in love with this story.



E
mmy
This was such a tough call. Other Pervs picked fics I would have selected, such as She Gives Me Religion, or If Only... But in the end I picked what I think are five great fics that I will happily read, and re-read. And I hope you do too! For all that I have been raving over slashy smut in the LR all year I have ended up, for the most part, going for my favorite pairings of Edward and Bella. Four Edward/Bella Twilight fics and one Merlin. Now for a WussPerv such as myself, it might surprise you to know that there is some angst within these stories. But I quite like a wee bit of torment, as long as there is no cheating, on my way to a truly happy ever after. I have included at least one DaddyWard story amongst my wee faves from the last year. That was really tough to choose too! In the end I went with a fic, that I have gone back to when I want a dose of adorableness and fluff. But an honorable mention must be A Rough Start by ItzMegan73, a very popular and very well done, blue collarward complete with unexpected child! Anyways. Read my prattlings below as to why my faves are my pics of my readings last year!


AH, Historical, Complete, E/B

This was a Team WP pick earlier in the year and is really one of my fave fics of the year! (Thank you so much JEN for finding it!). I say it is a historical fic, but only in the sense of having a ravishing MountainWard as its sexy male protagonist. Vive la MountainWard! The supporting cast and characterization is one of the best I have read. This is probably THE best Jasper I have encountered. But more than that, the love story in this fic, is so ruddy good and absorbing! Set in a time and place when love should be simple, but life provides complications and difficulties, how on earth can School Marm, Bella and Moonshine Maker Edward find their happy ever after? Gah thinking about, let alone having a bath will NEVER be the same again!!!!


AH, Complete, Angstish, E/B

Well! Where do I even begin with this epic, smoldering masterpiece? I will tell you that certain parts of this story had my heart in my throat, and I was completely gripped and thrilled. And when I say thrilled I mean the almost older use of thrill as a sensation or feeling through your body. The storytelling in A Quiet Fire is perfection and so well conceived. Just thinking of certain parts of this story now, makes me want to start it al over again. The intensity of Edward, and both his and Bella’s pain is so spot on and makes for a heart wrenching and satisfying read. As does the tender and sensuous love scenes. Their shared pain and past make for incredible scenes!


AH, Complete, E/B
Masen Days is such a good fic. When there was just a one-shot for the contest, it was great and compelling as it was. Since it was expanded it became even better! Every short wee scene, became something so much more. Bella’s POV is engaging and interesting, but it is Masen who is the star. He is a captivating character. So many layers, and so much love for Bella. But what will Bella do with that love? Keep it safe and keep it close? Or not even recognize it for the epic life-changing, intense love that it is. Masen has such an intense sexy take on worshipping Bella. A delight to read! And you must read more on purelyamuse’s blog Where you will find the most adorable additions to this story, pages from Masen’s notebook! **swoon** yes, that is right! His dirty, emo, longing, sad, hopeful, love-filled poems and thoughts of Bella are there for us all to delight in!

AH, Complete, DaddyWard (NOT Daddy!Kink!!!), E/B

If you are a fan of the DaddyWard then this is the fic for you. Its a slightly fantastical tale of a Bella who has the flattest life in existence, who decides she wants her story to be a good one, so seeks to actively change it through her friendship with Edward. Tattooed, bar owner Edward. Tattooed, bar owner with a wee dude of a son Edward. Enter one of the bestest, yummiest DaddyWard’s known to man. And one of the cutest wee toots in fanfiction. His son is ADORABLE. From his love of Harry Potter, to his love of IssyBella. **swoons**. I swear to god I adore this fic. Yes at times, this fic is fantastical. BUT. The characterization and the love you will have for them sweeps you away. My golly, you wish for Bella to get her story book ending and for Edward to finally realize and accept true love. Gah! This is one of those fics I will read and read if I feel low as their situations give me a wee boost of ‘Aaaaaaah!’. Plus this DaddyWard is sexy yum!


Merlin, AU, Modern, SLASH, COMPLETE, Merlin/Arthur

Praise be to Missdare, as she is the bird that told me about this fic. I swear to god that this might be the most perfect fic. Ever. It reads like a blinking novel. Soooooo good. It has magic. It has Scotland. It has modern Scotland with magic and Merlin. It has a Merlin in love with a prince. And a prince so ruddy clueless about Merlin. Gah. ****swooooooooons****. Seriously this fic is so fecking good! As a Brit, and a picky Brit at that, I was delighted at how on the money this author was with their depiction of British life. From the student life in Scotland, to the cider, to the love on Christmas day of the best ‘Quality Street’ in the tin, this author has done their work! or has effortlessly got Britain spot on! This fic, most importantly though is just wonderfully written. The unrequited (or is it?) love story is so well conceived and realised, as are the different storylines of magic, mayhem and danger. Brilliant plotting! Brilliant story! And yummy slashy sexy goodness. If you love Slash and you love magic in any sense: READ THIS STORY! It is ruddy brillo! Just talking about it, makes me want to reread!!!!




Jeanne
Many of the other Pervs claimed fics that would have topped my list, so I chose to come at this from a different angle. These are the fics that top my list and that many people probably have never read. True, several are not even Twilight Fan Fic, but that doesn’t mean that our readers will not like them. In fact, it is my sincerest wish that more people would explore fics in other fandoms, as well as the fantastic non-canon pairing fics in the TwiFandom. There are so many fabulous, well written and incredibly sexy stories out there just waiting to be discovered.


AU, Post Breaking Dawn, Leah/Nahuel

No surprise that a Leah fic tops my list. This one deserves a special place in everyone’s reading list. It is a very close to canon AU fic that takes place after Breaking Dawn. Here my favorite She Wolf takes center stage in this suspense filled and action packed romance about finding love in the most unlikely of places. If you didn’t already love Nahuel you will after reading this story. He tickles me in all my naughty, usually reserved for canon Edward, places. I’m sure he will do the same for anyone else who gives this fantastic story a try.


DC Comics, Batman/Wonder Woman

Who doesn’t want to fuck Batman? No really, who doesn’t? Point them out to me so I can explain in great detail why he is the sexiest motherfucker EVER! Fuck Edward Cullen! You want a filthy rich, conflicted, self torturing orphan with an extremely dark side? Bruce Wayne is your man. Add a sheltered, powerful, super-powered Amazon princess on top of him and my pants are exploding from the idea of these two kissing much-less humping. In Darkest Light isn’t all spandexed superhero sexing. It is a spellbinding story that explores these two very complex and deeply flawed people, filled with humor, adventure and mystery. Plus OMFG Batman and Wonder Woman hump! *flails*


AU, Post Deathly Hallows (EWE), Harry/Draco

When I say that You Align My Stars is my favorite Harry/Draco fan fic EVER, I am not exaggerating. Not one bit. I love everything from the realistic, if a bit heartclenchie, post war setting. I love Harry’s survivor’s guilt and Draco’s journey toward redemption. I love how a connection that was formed in hate transforms into a deep, healing love. I love the lyrical style of the prose and how easily this replaced canon in my mind as well as in my heart. *goes to reread again*


AH, Rose/Edward

Edward and Rose is a pairing that needs to have it’s day in this fandom. Their canon conflict always felt deeply seeded in their simulates, rather than their differences. In Disenchanted Lullaby we see the positive aspects of that connection, and we see how these two are like puzzle pieces who fit together rather perfectly. Rose’s struggle to overcome her past, and reshape her self image is a very relatable (if at times personally painful) for many women. Edward starts out as a bit of an aloof mystery, but we soon learn of his own difficult past that is the cause of his distance. These two are so real I feel like I can touch them, and their passion with each other often leaves me breathless. This is the best fic that you haven’t read yet, so stop dragging your feet. Get over your issues with the pairing and fucking read. I promise that you will swoon for this Edward and cry for this Rose. You will fall in love, trust me.


AH, Bella

For the longest time it felt like Edward was the only one getting laid in TwiFic. In a sea of Manwhore!Edwards poor Virginal!Bella could only seem to get action with her soulmate. That’s all well and good for the WussPervs, but this whore needed more. Thankful along came a little ol’ fic called Hedone Ranch that opened the door of possibility for our dear (no longer virginal) Bella.

This story is every pervy TwiFic reader’s secret fantasy. A brothel filled with sexy male Twilight characters ready and willing to please Bella in every possibly way imaginable. Though, to be honest, it’s the story that lies underneath this smutty exterior that has intrigued me the most. Bella isn’t just getting laid, she is discovering her sexual self, and learning where her sexual appetites lie. Few women get to explore their sexuality with a ranch full of sexy men, but thanks to Hedone Ranch we get to take that journey with Bella, and learn a couple of things about ourselves along the way. Just like sex, not every TwiFic has to be about love. However this wonderful sexy, smut-packed fic has more then enough passion and emotions to make up for the romance.



Jen
Deciding on my top five of the year was kind of like someone forcing me to name my favorite child. Impossible! I have favorite fics for different categories and sub-categories- how can I just share five? We were getting ready to have some real, throw-down mud wrestling over some of our picks.


AU, Complete, E/B, Tragedy

This is not for the faint of heart; it is listed as tragedy. But I urge you to give it a try. The writing is wonderful, and the AU possibility that Saluki168 has spun is really tantalizing.


AH, O/S, E/C, Slash

I just read this Twikinkfest entry last week, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Beyond the hurt and the kink, what shines so brightly is the love. These boys will be with me for a long, long time.


AH, Complete, E/Leah

*sigh* I love Edward and Leah together. Preacherward is possibly the swooniest Edward ever. He’s as perfect as a guy can be, and his flaws make him even better. Leah has the rough edges of canon Leah, and it’s gorgeous and exciting to watch her blossom. She learns to trust, to open up to Edward and others; she learns to love again. The UST was off the charts for sooooo long. Updates to Accidental Atonement brought great joy to my days. I’m still hoping that IdPattThat will grace us with a shower wank outtake sometime in the new year!


AH, Complete, E/J, Slash

You cannot imagine the swooning and flailing that went on amongst the Pack each time If Only updated. I was so, so worried for sweet Jakey’s heart--worried that Edward was only interested in experimenting. I felt very protective of him and was ready to despise Edward if he hurt Jake. NGL, there are hurty times as Edward tries to figure out exactly what his feelings for Jake mean. Sometimes Jake hurts because he’s leapt to a conclusion about something Edward said or did, but was too worried to ask Edward what was really going on. Beyond all of the up and down emotions and the vulnerability of opening up to a new image of oneself, sadtomato wrote an incredibly sexy, addictive love story that is definitely a Twific classic.


AH, Complete, E/C, Slash

I’m not sure how many times I’ve read this short, sweet fic. I love shy, darling Edward, and Carlisle who is so understanding and gentle with him. There’s something about seeing Edward learn to trust and really open himself up to Carlisle that moves me so much. Above all else, Carlisle wants Edward to feel cared for. That they’re sexy as hell together is a wonderful bonus.




Jess
When we all agreed to pick our favorite five, I couldn’t even fathom how I’d choose. Over the past year, I have found a new love - non-canon and slash pairings. Seeing other character interactions has been absolutely fascinating. So, it’s with that in mind that I settled on the five you see below.

There were definitely others I loved just as much as these, but ::lovingly glares at other Pervs:: some of the other Pervs stole claimed them before I could. I hope you fall in love with these like I have! Enjoy and have a very happy, healthy, and warm holiday season! See you in 2012!


AH, Complete, E/B

There are tons of great stories out there, but it’s rare to find one as well thought out, as well put together as There is a Light. This story had me wrapped in its iron fist and didn’t spit me out until the last word, and even then I wanted more. This story is not easy to read - for many reasons - but it’s a testament to BellaDonnaCullen’s writing prowess that through the end you are pulling for Edward, praying he pulls it together, and that there is hope for something more between him and Bella. If you haven’t had a chance to read this, do. It’s seriously one of the best stories I’ve ever read.


AH, WIP, E/B
This story has had me twisted up and aching for some resolution from chapter one. Life is hard, and we always hope that love will win out. In Cracks in the Pavement we see a couple, once very much in love, struggling to make their marriage last. This story is wrought with such realism, it hurts. Will these two find their way back to each? In truth, it’s just not clear. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a happy ending for these two in 2012.


AH, Complete, Jacob/Rosalie
I’ve been a huge fan of Belladonna1472’s writing for a long time. It seems like everything she touches turns to gold. When Immunity first started posting, it literally knocked me off my feet. The writing, the cadence, the setting, the themes are all unique and flow in such an amazing way. Her characterizations of Jacob and Rosalie - raw and gritty - and the way things were described - enough to give you a clear picture without explaining every detail - are pure perfection. The relationship between this unlikely pair is visceral and will leave you panting. Go. Read.


AH, WIP, E/B
High school. Those two words conjure so many thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but there is nothing like the awkwardness and power of first loves. In How to Paint a House, Maggies Gutter has crafted a compelling and very realistic look at what young love looks like and how age gaps and social status matter. What started out as a sweet and innocent friendship has blossomed into budding, hidden romance. With a new school year underway, everything seems to have fallen apart. I ache for these two and the awkwardness of it all. If you are looking for a coming of age fic that will literally take you back to those moments in your life, read this!


AH, O/S, Edward/Jasper
I love reading a story that literally punches you in the gut, leaves your heart broken, and tears pouring from your eyes only to turn around and slowly piece it all back together. Turns is the story of two boys - Jasper and Edward - who meet and fall in love in the early 1960s. Their relationship is “forbidden” and “perverse”, yet together they. build their dreams and make plans for the future. What ensues is a beautiful and powerful journey of grief and love. I am in awe of Tkegl’s way with words. If you read nothing else, read this.


Teal


AU, Complete, Sam/Bella
I can say with confidence and absolute sincerity that MeraNaamJoker changed my fic-life. I think that for a very long time, readers had a hard time getting into pack fic because those wolves are tough fuckers to channel. This amazing author, however, has a way of getting inside their heads and showing us how complicated, sweet, and sexy they can be. While imprint stories are often the direction author s choose, this New Moon AU was a brilliant look at the way the phenomenon of the imprint can crush someone. What I loved so very much about Holding Sam was that it explored Bella’s life after Edward left and Sam’s heart-wrenching struggle to carry on when he’d been denied what that strange force inside him was telling him to claim. Together, they found their ways to cope and do their best to heal, all the while falling in love (and having a lot of really fucking hot sex). There was no fairy tale or perfection in this story, but it is a stunning and beautiful look at how ugly life can be when your heart has been ripped out and how much work it takes to find the sun again. Even if you’ve never read a single pack fic, you should take a look!

AH, WIP, Edward/Bella
In the past, I would fic dive, hoping to find a true diamond in the rough amongst the less savory stories out there, but I usually just came out with a few laughs at terrible story summaries. Then one day, I happened upon Mind the Gap, and I knew I’d found my gem.

Even better, I found a new friend in LuckyStar815 who is both a very talented writer and a total sweetheart! Mind the Gap is the story of hard working student Bella who meets British Edward (Yum!) just before his return home. Something sparks between them, and over time and a long distance friendship, they grow quite close. Things are complicated, with misunderstandings, lack of communication, and too often, lies by omission. But that’s what makes these characters human. We know what they should and shouldn’t be doing as the story progresses, but it’s often difficult to fault them when there’s not full disclosure between them...because they’re human...and because we all know we’ve been guilty of such things in our own lives.

This is a story of many, many, many ups and downs. A great deal of time passes, and life is never really simple for Edward or Bella. But they love each other, and it’s clear that it’s what retains the ties that bind them, even through the most difficult times. With each chapter, I am taken aback at how real and relatable these characters are. For anyone who has even been in a long distance relationship, you will understand. I am absolutely besotted with this fic, and I truly hope you’ll take the time to read and love on it.


AH, WIP, Edward/Jasper
What can I say other than the simple truth that this story is AMAZING? For slash lover, especially you hardcore E/J girls, this cannot be overlooked. Early on, the angst is high, and it still factors in throughout as Edward tries to figure out his sexuality and feelings for Jasper. It’s completely worthwhile, though. This is truly one of the hottest slash stories I’ve ever read, and that probably has to do with the crazy intense emotional bond between these characters. They both make mistakes along the way, but fuuuuck, they sure know how to do it right when it comes down to it. I think my ultimate “I’m ded” moment of this story came when Jasper offered Edward a BJ. You will die too, I promise. Throw in some webcam play and an irresistible Jasper, and this can’t be passed up.

AH, Complete, Edward/Emmett
If you’re looking for something fun, slashy, and with a little three way excitement thrown in, you need to run your fine ass directly to these companion piece fics. Each is short, but there is no lack of excitement or engaging, unique characters.

Born as an example story in the Eurofornication contest, What Happens in Zurich introduced the fandom to one of the most unexpectedly sexy Emmetts I’ve ever seen. Who knew a man saying, “Ja,” could be so hot? Little by little, details of Edward’s friendship with Emmett years prior surface. As a foreign exchange student who stayed with Edward’s family...and shared his bedroom...let’s just say these boys became close. Like the pervy girlfriend we all are on the inside, Bella pushes Edward to resolve the hardcore UST he has with Emmett, and in the end, she gets to join in on the fun.

What Happened in Chicago came later, and as an awesome surprise. As a prequel to the original fic, the dirty, delicious details of teenage sexual confusion and exploration are so squee-worthy, I was biting my knuckles and bouncing happily with each update.

Please, pretty, pretty please, check this one out. If you are a slashy whore, I know you’ll enjoy the lighter mood of these stories.


Transformers AU, WIP, Sam/Bumblebee
You’ve seen us fandom hop. You’ve heard us talk about Transformers fic. Maybe you even remember this title from previous recs. But you haven’t read it yet?!?!
I know you’re probably skeptical, but I promise you that Transformers fic will change your little nerd heart. I am constantly amazed by KeelyWolfe’s ability to create so many dirty, sexy scenarios for my favorite bots (she has a wide array of fics), and I can clearly recall how captivated I was the first time I read this one. She has a way describing the way the Autobots move, function, and feel that will mesmerize and amaze. Using their holoforms to explore human sexual interaction, both with the humans they protect and with other bots, there are a wide variety of pairings and situations. By that I mean, there’s a little for everyone. You should have no excuse to say no to this hot-as-fuck escape from the norm.



We will be back to ring in the new year with smutty fun next week.
Happy Holidays and Happy Fic Reading!


Posted by Jeanne at 11:52 AM 2 comments
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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Pervy Picspirations 12-23-11

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Emmy wants your words. (amongst other things...) Every week Emmy will post a pic or 2 - containing phwoarrrr-worthy blokes from across the seas, some hunks from closer to home and sometimes some dangerously delish knickers and lingerie. What do we want from you in return? Well...... We want you to be inspired by these pics and to leave Emmy a delish drabble or longer story, or even a new chapter of an existing WIP, inspired by the pic(s). Remember it can be from ANY fandom you wish...


Leave a link to your story offering in the comments section and, if you want to, post it to your FF or LJ, or other host account (pm the link to Emmy at http://www.fanfiction.net/~pippapear) and make sure you mention the PPSS, by the following Thursday morning. (If you need more time, please don’t hesitate in still sending it to Emmy when you are done! We will still read and feature it!)

Each Friday Emmy will reveal her faves and at the same time post the next pervy picspiration for your pleasure. Non-Canon writers don’t despair - Emmy might be tragically WussPerv©, but there are plenty of equal opportunity pervs in the pack longing to read those if Emmy turp’s out.

Emmy is DYING to see what dirty delights you are going to come up with...


*Please make sure your story offering is in line with our mission statement
Happy Holidays everyone! Remember that as its the festive season, you have extra time to get dirty and get writing me something pervy for any fandom you wish!

Here are two new pictures on the same theme, of unwrapping gifts to get your ahem juices (creative juices that is!) flowing..... So go for it and write me something from either these hot new pics or the delish pics at the bottom!


So Merry Christmas, be happy and healthy, and have shed loads of fun. And go on: write me something naughty!

Remember you can take the prompt anyway and get writing - any character or fandom! Or you can be inspired in ANY way by the pics and write something tasty - it doesn’t matter! Just write me something.
Whatever the pics below do to you - write it... No matter what smutty delights they unlock.SO what do these pics do for you, do to you? Just go for it and WRITE anything for ANY FANDOM that the pics or prompt inspires..!

Write me anything - be it Slash, FemmeSlash, AU or AH, canon or even OOC... AND remember for any fandom... Perhaps one of the pics inspires you to write a new chapter in a work-in-progress, or try something new. Be it a drabble, be it a one-shot or be it a WIP, just write for me. Make it sexy, make it sweet and tender, make it sensuous, erotic or downright naughty. Your call. Just let the inspiration take you - be you a BNA or an innocent virgin, wanting your Pervy Picspiration cherry popped for fun. 

Write whatever the pics inspire in you.....
 I’m waiting.........
Posted by Jeanne at 7:13 PM 3 comments
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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Naughty Nurse Kimpy 12-22-11


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Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

DISCLAIMER:
The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.


Naughty Nurse Kimpy has been very busy trying to keep some very sick patients well over the holidays. One young patient even got a heart transplant for Christmas last night! Due to those circumstances, her post this week is a little abbreviated. In the meantime, she expects anyone standing under the mistletoe to use protection! She’s counting on you to put the safe in safe sex to good use. She’s arranged a deal with Santa Claus to deliver condoms to everyone. He totally agrees with Kimpy’s mantra that all sex should be safe, consensual and fun. If you don’t believe her, feel free to ask him about it the next time you see him; Santa is all about safe sex. Trust.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy will be back in full swing at the beginning of January. Until then, keep submitting your questions, and be sure to celebrate the holidays responsibly. You can also go to the Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy Topic Directory to revisit all the fun topics we’ve covered over the past 14 months.

Hello Kimpy! This has something to do along the lines of our bad word "normal," I'm not a well-endowed woman, I'm 19 (I'm at least a small B cup) and my nipples are "puffy" like the areola and nipple are raised and smoothed, no distinction between the two but when I'm cold or, for the most part, aroused they tighten to an average size. Is this something I have to always deal with or will it correct itself once I'm much older? Thanks!

Your breasts are shaped exactly the way they’re supposed to be--regardless of size. Part of the breast development cycle is for the areolas to be puffy, with little to no distinction between the areola and the nipple. When your nipples get cold or when you’re sexually stimulated, the nipples tend to protrude more.

Breasts are not considered to be fully mature or developed until you’ve experienced a pregnancy. When you’re pregnant, your breasts become more full, your areolas change, and they’re finally considered to be developed. Once you’ve been pregnant, your nipples tend to jut out more readily, but they still pebble up when exposed to cold temperatures or sexual stimulation.

In your case, don’t think of your breasts as needing to be “corrected.” They’re doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing, and every adolescent/young adult female has nipples just like yours. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll tell you that you’re totally normal. *wink*

i recently went to the doctor and was asked if i was sexually active. i didn't really know how to answer and she made me feel kinda stupid and slutty. when is one considered sexually active?

I’m sorry that your doctor’s question made you feel badly about yourself. I want to emphasize that it has absolutely nothing to do with being judgmental about what you are, or are not, doing sexually. It simply helps them to understand what kind of medical care you’re going to need.

In a nutshell, you’re considered to be sexually active if you’ve had sexual intercourse. Typically, they’re referring to vaginal intercourse. It has nothing to do with how often you had sex, just whether or not you’ve ever had it, even once.

The reason a doctor asks this question is because being sexually active changes the nature of the exams and tests you might need to have. Women who are sexually active need to have regular Pap smears and screening for STIs. Your physician will likely have a conversation with you about birth control and the importance of having safe sex.

That’s the only reason the question is asked, and it’s never meant to imply that you’re a slut. I promise.
Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.

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Posted by Jeanne at 7:55 PM 0 comments
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Lemon Report 12/20




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The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.
In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.




Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.



Star Trek XI, Kirk/Spock, Slash

Chele - Holy hot teacher/student sexual tension. Kirk is a cadet at the Academy, Spock is a professor in Vulcan linguistics, and I am a fly on the wall with my hands down my pants. Reserved Spock kills me as much as persistent aching, wanting Jim. The actual age gap is negligible, but the attraction is absolutely palpable. LOVED this.  So glad I intercepted a tweet from Starfish422 on Twitter or I may never have found this little jewel. Stalking pays off in spades.



O/S, AU, Jasper/??, Slash

Chele - This O/S had me a flaily mess, emailing my fellow pervs and squealing in delight. So much sexyness, such a lush Alternate Universe, I barely noticed the deviation from canon. dellaterra’s writing is, as always, flawless and full. The way she sets a scene lets you practically taste it, and the play on Jasper’s scars was just....*flails*... so good.

Jen - dellaterra. I love her and her writing so. Crescent Moon does not disappoint; like Chele said, it’s gonna make you flail. Unf.

Emmy - I literally worship at the feet of dellaterra. Her writing is always tip top. I was so glad to see the mystery pairing and how it fits with other stories. I was also just so pleased to see something new from her. I am never disappointed by any of her stories, and I think this entry into the KinkFest was probably the story with the most depth of those I have read yet. Good stuff. Don’t dilly dally, go read!

Posy -Totally agree. Go and read this. I really enjoyed watching Jasper transform in this, and I do love scarred Jasper.

Jess - ::flails:: What they all said!



Twi, Carlisle/Edward, O/S, AH/AU, Slash

Posy -Carlisle is finishing his doctorate work with the intention of becoming a priest post-graduation. He took a teaching position at an all boys Catholic school while he works on his thesis, and he already has doubts about whether he is ready to take his vows. Edward just makes that decision even harder with his fucked up hair and gorgeous green eye. I mean, can you blame him? I think not. Let me bring out the scales. Super hot, confident Edward vs. a life of celibacy. Ding! I know the answer. But watching Carlisle get there is a fun ride. *snirk* Fun indeed. All Catholics, please read with rosary in hand so you can work on your absolution after reading this naughty hotness that will stick with you for days. In fact, keep them close at hand for the next week or so. ;)

Jen - File under: So very wrong, So very right. I feel like I need to run to the nearest confessional, and then I remember that I’m Jewish. I loved this hard.

Emmy - Maybe I am truly bad, as this fic never read as bad to me. Carlisle and Edward’s relationship and relations always felt so natural and right. Beautiful writing was the key to that for me.



AH, Bella & Edward, WIP

Corie- I saw this story being rec’d all over facebook and twitter and had to check it out. Boy I’m so glad I did. Such a fantastic look at what people who suffer real disorders such as OCD and social/ behavioral disorders deal with when starting and being in a relationship. The author has really spent the time in creating and researching these characters. There are some funny and beyond touching moments watching them struggle to make it work. Bella has a Latex fetish that the Edward is all too perfect to fulfill. Sex and love is messy and its interesting to see how they deal with that.

Emmy - Jumping back on this, to say I completely agree with Corie! Lovely mix of understanding, insight AND sexy times. Win!

Teal - I heart this story so hard. Even when these 2 characters are completely bonkers, they’re just too sweet to deny.



AH, Bella & Edward, Complete

Corie- I watched Pearl Jam’s documentary Twenty last week and it instantly put me in the mood for a grungward. I had this on my tbr list for quite sometime and could kick myself for not reading it sooner. There is such an intensity the author creates between Bella and Edward from their very first meeting. I do want to warn there is a intensely violent scene but the love story and the chemistry is fantastic. It’s complete and HOT.



AH, Bella & Edward, Outtake

Corie- I was a HUGE fan of the story There is a Light, and have enjoyed the outtakes which have all been a peek in to Edwards head. Last night a new outtake posted that BLEW MY MIND and made me remember why I adored that story so much. It reads like poetry and the way this Edward loves Bella is just sexy, the way he pleads in his mind to be inside her again reliving what they shared 20 years ago is so well done. Check it out if you enjoyed this story I think you will love this peek back at them. If you haven’t read the original story I HIGHLY recommend it.

Emmy - This was an absolutely beautiful outtake, that adds so much to the original story. As Corie says, Edwards mind and worship of Bella is just intense and perfect to read!

Jen - I must remember to read these outtakes. I loved the original story, and I think it will be so interesting to get inside this very complex Edward’s brain.

Jess - I couldn’t agree with the girls more. Love love love!



AU, Bella & Edward, Vamp, WIP

Corie- This is a great story that flips the entire plot of Twilight on its head. There is alot of mystery and I don’t want to spoil anything but what I love is that we get to see Bella and Edward fall in love as humans and as a vamp. There are other great relationships as well, Rochelle Allison just does a first-rate job creating sensational characters. This weeks update deserves a place on the Lemon Report with the loss of their virginity. Seriously well done showing how much Edward wars for his lust of her body and blood all at the same time.

Emmy - Wow! I adore this AU story so so so so so much! Brilliant writing, and great twists on canon. The intensity of Bella and Edwards love and connection is so much stronger and more believable in Rochelle Allison’s world. I love how she has written all the supporting cast too.



AH, O/S, E/S, Slash, Watersports

Jen - This is something I would not ordinarily read. Thing is, OnTheTurningAway is such an impeccable and thoughtful author, there’s no way I wasn’t going to read it. I was so glad I did, because Edward and Seth’s journey is about so much more than a kink.

Emmy - Yeah, this is one of those Kinks I thought I wouldn’t enjoy. But oh lordy was I wrong! I think this is really due to the quality of OnTheTurningAway’s writing. She explores so much in this fic. Wow what a journey Edward goes on, or through! And I love her message of acceptance, intimacy and being true to you.

Posy - I LOVED this! When my friend, Jennifer, told me about this fic I wasn’t sure I could read it because of the kink, but she pushed me. I’m so glad. OnTheTurningAway knows how to slowly take you somewhere new and make you so comfy in the new world that you wonder why you never thought you’d want to be there in the first place. I loved Seth’s tenacity. He was exactly what Edward needed.



AH, O/S, E/C, Slash

Jen - Another gorgeous o/s from OnTheTurningAway. Carlisle isn’t able to have penetrative sex anymore. This o/s explores how these long time lovers figure out what form their sexual relationship will take from this point forward. Their pain is palpable--Carlisle wishes he could still give that to Edward, and Edward would never give up on Carlisle. Their love is so moving. I’m not sure I would be able to give a lover what Carlisle gives Edward in this story, but I absolutely adore them both.

Emmy - Wow. Such tender and sexy exploration of a subject that is so taboo within society OnTheTurningAway. We as society don’t discuss what happens when intimacy is still present in a loving relationship, but penetration isn’t possible.

Posy -And once again OnTheTurningAway writes some amazingness. So often ED is treated as a joke, but it’s a very real issue that couples deal with that can affect feelings of worthiness and how couples interact, sometimes causing relationships to split. I love that Edward and Carlisle don’t allow this to get between them. Their love is so apparent. I particularly love how patient they are with each other and how openly they talk.

Jess - I absolutely adored this story. Such a delicate handling of something that could be so potentially embarrassing and painful. So so good.



AU, O/S, E/C, Slash

Posy -Holy shit that was intense! I pray that vampireisthenewblack continues this story. The Volturi, Caius in particular, basically curses Edward so that he craves sex and needs it or he will die. He can drink come, not his own, to ease the pain or get fucked, but he feels horrid guilt about his condition. Fuck or Die was how the prompt started. The ending had me searching for chapter 2, but alas...

Jen - I don’t even know what to say about this. In vampireisthenewblack style, it left me with my mouth hanging open. So much emotion. Like Posy says, a second chapter would be most welcome.

Jess - Yes please to a second chapter. I was all sorts of twisted up over this!!



AH, WIP, E/B
Jen - *Swoony sighs.* What a gorgeous story plummy has given us. Her words are lyrical and whimsical, and at the end of each chapter I feel like I’ve been taken to another plane. Edward and Bella coming together at long last- heaven!


AH, WIP, B/Everyone
Chele Somehow this gets hotter ever. single. chapter. A little rough riding with a certain special Cowboy? Yes. Please.

Jeanne - Holy fucking shit, I need a cigarette! I want to visit Jasper in the barn. Please. *begs*

Teal - They always come back to Jasper for more, don’t they??? Lord knows I would! Fuck, that was hot!

Jen - Hot damn. Just... yeah.

Jess - Jasper... second only to Carlisle in this story, I swooned hard the first time and good sweet mercy this time was no different.


AH, O/S, Em/Jake, Slash
Jen - Yum. Slashy sexy Emmett/Jacob times.


AU & AH, Different time periods, Mixed Pairings,
Emmy - It wouldn’t be a LR at the mo, if I wasn’t waxing lyrical about a Merthur fic! This week its not one specific fic, but an exchange that OnTheTurningAway thankfully drew my attention too! Its anonymous at the mo, so I have not drawn attention to any particular story. But I have read some right belters within this. All pairings seem to be represented and all time periods and genre’s. So there should be something for everyone!

Posy - Christmas came early for me. Guess what I’ll be reading over the next two weeks?


AH, High-School, WIP (drabble-ish), E/B
Emmy - This frequently updated, longer than drabble , but shorter than epic length chapters, story is great fun. I particularly like that they are actually written like teenagers. So the extreme emotions and giddiness is there, instead of world weary and hardened characters. Featuring a very shy, nerdy Edward and a Bella who thinks she knows what she wants.... Thanks to some pushing from her friends, Edward and Bella end up progressing things along very nicely.. Yum. Poor shy Edward needs Bella to take the lead. Luckily she’s happy to do so, and I hope the forthcoming chapters will have Bella further showing Edward the ropes...


AU, O/S, TwiKinkFest, E/B
Emmy - I was quite surprised that this fic was AU. I think that is what I enjoyed about it the most. Edward’s ahem nose led him to the scent to trump all other scents. Shame it was in a sex show. What does the delicious smelling Bella awaken in him? A good fun, lighthearted, take on the AU concept of singers.


Transformers, O/S, Ratchet/Sunstreaker/Sideswipe
Chele - This is a beautiful example of Transformers fic. It shows the complexity of soldiers in a post-war universe, and the sensuality that transcends body type. Sunstreaker is struggling to overcome a wicked case of PTSD so he can be close to and express his love and desire for Ratchet. Soldiers, Doctors, re-hot erotic smut. It’s all here. Give it a try.
Posted by Jessypt at 10:03 AM 4 comments
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Monday, December 19, 2011

Turn Me On 12/19/11 Open Up Next to You


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We want to know what turns you on, ladies! Which fics are rocking your world and are must reads for us Pervs? We want you to tell us what you like, what turns you on about this fic. Let’s talk about it over a glass of wine and get everyone reading it.




Author: LJ Summers
Status: Complete
Chapters: 20
Word Count: 59,659

Summary: Expanded from my Heartbreak drabble. Ten years after the events of Eclipse, Edward meets his true vampire mate; Bella is left desolate. Alice and Jasper take her in with them to help her through her heartbreak. Rated for mature relationship issues.

Guest Perv Stefanie - LJ Summers is the master of bittersweet romantic drama. She often breaks hearts and leaves her readers wanting more. In Open Up Next to You, she weaves a story full of angst & longing.

Although married to Bella, Edward finds his true mate. He must leave a devastated Bella.
Jasper & Alice take in Bella to help her heal. Eventually, the love between Jasper, Alice & Bella transforms. Their relationship grows into something less familiar, something more romantic, something carnal.

The three, especially Bella, areconfused by these new desires.
Neither the couple, nor Bella want to proceed at the risk of their new coven. No one wants to be hurt or cause pain. The unresolved sexual tension grows to such a fevered pitch that at one point I felt I wouldn’t be able to continue to read. But continue I did and was GREATLY rewarded. LJ doesn’t often journey into the land of rated M but when she does, we, her readers are more than gratified. The lemons in Open Up Next to You are intense, deeply romantic & sexy as hell. The very idea of the poly relationship titillates. The desire shared among these three is incendiary. Jasper’s ability to fully sense his lovers’ lust then project it back upon them results in an explosion of sexual frenzy. Bella’s relationship with Alice & Jasper is based on love and trust. I believe these elements make for sexier romance.

This is definitely one of my all-time favorite stories. LJ Summers surpassed herself with this one. She combines all the right elements to make a heart breaking, romantic, erotic story that fully satisfies…until the sequel.

Guest Perv NinaQ - I was drawn in by the drabble style of the first couple chapters of Open Up Next to You. I’ll admit to having a weakness for drabble, but that’s not what made me love this story.

One of the things I enjoy about LJ Summers’ writing is that she works with universal emotions, but you feel them in an entirely new way. Bella’s discussions with Edward about his new mate are heart-wrenching, but completely realistic. While this could have been a story about the angst of a failed relationship, you are rooting for this mature, complex Bella to learn and grow past her time with the Cullens. Every step she takes feels like a victory. You cheer her on as she works through the emotional and physical problems of being single, including her frustrations living with a happily mated, very sexual couple!

The affection canon Alice and Jasper had for Bella follows into Open Up Next to You. Building a life away from the Cullens is not always easy, but with their care, Bella blossoms and moves on. There is no instant healing, and there are bumps along the way, including unexpected admirers eyeing the newly single Bella.

Alice and Jasper’s love for Bella is a constant through the story, but it’s not a love that
detracts from their bond. Her presence strengthens them, and the love that develop
between these three seems inevitable and right. By the time they have figured out what
you already knew, It’s the most natural thing in the world=The evolution of their love includes an intense physical reaction. I always have trouble talking about sex scenes without sounding like I’m gushing, so I’ll just say this is the best description of Jasper’s power in the bedroom I’ve ever read! Here is a tiny example from chapter 17:
Bella's nerves dissolved into the pulsating desire Jasper was
projecting, so that her eyes grew heavy and her skin tightened.
The next fic I read where Alice and Jasper run into the woods for some sexy times will have me thinking about how his power affects her, and what it does for anyone who happens to be in close range!

LJ Summers has woven a lovely story with complex characters where there are no true villains. It’s a love story for three that stretches the traditional definition of relationship. I followed this trio and cheered them on while built something wonderful. By the time the story was over, I realized there is no other way it could have ended.



Jen - Open Up Next to You explores a nearly unthinkable ‘what if’ for E/B shippers --what if Bella was not actually Edward’s mate? LJ Summers’ story explores Bella’s future after learning that Edward has met his true mate.

I enjoy nearly every Twi pairing and every genre from angst and tragedy to fluff. While I’m always surprised by the intensity of my sadness when an AU Edward and Bella don’t get their HEA for whatever reason, I also LOVE the burn of the angst. LJ Summers does angst so, so well. In the early chapters we fully feel Bella’s sadness and astonishment at what has just happened in her perfect, eternal life. Edward’s pronouncement hurts so, so badly. Bella was not changed until she was 21; she seems a lot more mature and more likeable than many a canon Bella.

Unwilling to force Edward away from his family, Bella decides
that she will leave the Cullens. Alice and Jasper decide that they could use time away from the family, and leaving with Bella has the added benefit of making sure she’s ok. Bella is open to the idea of being intimate with someone new, but she turns down the opportunity for sex with a nomad and then later with Felix. NGL, I was wishing hard for some Bella/Felix loving.

While Bella and Alice had always been close, Bella and Jasper’s relationship blossomed as they learned more about one another. As they become settled in their new lives, Jasper notices how protective he feels of Bella. Bella notices that she sometimes feels a frisson of something more than love for friends or siblings. And Alice, well as she will, Alice sees things in the future but only shares a cat-ate-the-canary smile with her mate and her friend.

Bella struggles when Alice and Jasper get it on, and usually makes herself scarce when they do. Things change, though, and Bella starts to stay in and pleasure herself while Alice and Jasper are together sexually. Alice suggests that Bella join them in their room, so that Jasper’s talent increases all of their pleasure. She feels awkward about it, but pushes herself to take the chance, and the room becomes kind of a lust pinball machine.



Jasper roared his pleasure. The sudden increase in sound and desire compelled Bella to reach out and grab on to the first thing she could to anchor herself.

It was Jasper's ankle. And when she touched it, she felt such a burst of lust from him that it drove her right over the edge, so that she climaxed with a cry of her own. Which reverberated back to him and Alice and the cycle seemed almost too intense.


Open Up Next to You is Bella’s story, but Jasper is the center of the story, for me. He’s the head of their small coven. Alice loves Bella, and wants her present during sex, but she isn’t interested in making love to Bella, while Jasper very much is. He feels the weight of responsibility for Bella, not just because he’s their coven leader, but also because of his talent.

Their journey to shared physical intimacy takes a detour or two, but it is worth the wait when they finally get their. They don’t fully understand this love they share, and they know that Bella may someday find her mate, but they all want to explore this love between them.

LJ Summers plans to write a sequel in which Bella does in fact find her mate. Part of me is so curious as to who it could be. I also wonder about the emotional fallout between the three of them. On the other hand, I am more than content to imagine Bella living with Alice and Jasper for all time, loving in their special way.

Chele - I’m so glad that a talented author tackled the possibility
of a little threesome loving in a post -canon AU. Open Up Next to You is an erotic introspective journey for Bella, who is learning to build a life for herself after her husband (poor Edward) meets his true mate. Though her travels find her the subject of desire for several sexy vamps, Alice and Jasper provide a soft place to land, first with their steadfast friendship and camaraderie, and later with the passion she so desperately needs.

I love Jasper in this fic. The fullness of his empathy is so well described. Considering his past, I’ve always felt that canon Jasper would have a hard time in a coven without taking a leadership role. Seeing him in a position to act protective, and a bit possessive, was a bit of a vindication. His dominance is a subtle thing, and so sexy.

The transformation of their love from a friendship to an intimacy is slow but cathartic. The pace let me believe it, and want it for them, so much

I hope this is just the first we’ve seen of poly-love from LJ Summers. I would love to see some more of these lovers as their lives move forward. Is it too soon to ask for a super-smutty outtake?


Interested in being a Turn Me On guest reviewer for the Perv Pack's Smut Shack? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of TURN ME ON.
Posted by mycrookedsmile at 11:14 AM 1 comments
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