Friday, August 20, 2010

Our Lives Unbound

















Our Lives Unbound


theladyingrey42


9


34,713


1,068

My mind is trapped in circles, my loneliness pressing in. Unable to speak, I reach for her spark. In her eyes, I find my partner. In her command, I find my freedom. Together, we open our lives to something more. AU/AH, D/s, male sub.



Every so often, you come across a story, that is not only intriguing, but is also like being wrapped in a poet’s tongue. That is Our Lives Unbound for me. theladyingrey42 serves up an extremely awkWard who is doing his best to find the cure to his isolated life. With his brother’s help, he has gone on a series of blind dates which blur together in a sea of eye color and intellectual stagnation. Soon he is broken from the monotony by a pair of brown eyes, and unusual answers to the same questions.

Bella not only frees Edward from the dating doldrums, but liberates him from the trappings of his mind about his sexuality. Edward is shackled by the fact that he is a virile man who need sexual release, that has been unfortunately mostly in his hands these days. She is the aggression and the assurance he needs. As she binds him physically, she releases the locks on his self-doubt.

The sex itself is presented in a light BDSM light, but with the two of them, you never feel there is a lopsidedness to their equality. Bella’s dominance forces Edward to admit to his wants and needs.





Her mouth is a smirking, lilting line, radiating with that mischief I saw in her even back at her curb, and it makes me so fucking hard to see her play with me. "You think you can do better? You think you know my pussy better than I do, even though I touch it every day?"

"Lllet me," I insist, and it's all I can say, my eyes holding to hers as steadily as I can mange to with her hovering over me this way. "Let me lllearn."

"I don't know," she says slowly, wet noises still resonating from her hand at her sex. "Have you earned it?"

"I wwwill," I promise, straining at the silk of my tie and at the wooden slats she has secured me between. "Please."

"Just a taste," she offers, and I murmur my thanks, watching the lusty expression on her face, the plush surface of her lip as it disappears under ivory teeth. Her thighs squeeze my naked chest, her body inching closer until she has to shift to place her knees to either side of my head. Slowly, so slowly, she swipes her sex over my chin, making it wet, and I push up to try to circle the point of it at her clit as she moans, soft and low. "I love your skin," she whispers. "Your lips."

She's over me then, finally, lowering steaming flesh and girl to my mouth, the hot scent of her filling my lungs and making my eyes roll back in my head. Desperate for her pleasure now, I part my lips, my neck shifting awkwardly to try to reach as I graze her with my teeth and she sighs.


The flip side to the heat is the soft moments. When Bella is vulnerable above a plate of pancakes. When Edward is alone with his self-doubt. Bella is afraid it is all going to be too much and Edward is afraid he is not enough. I love how Bella cares for and understands Edward. She doesn’t let him feel ashamed. She lets him know it is OK, and for once he is emotionally free.




And it's too much.

Too much happiness and pleasure and connection, so many years of feeling wrong and of suddenly feeling right. I can't even understand the words tumbling out of me, and I keep her face to my neck so she won't see the soft lines of tears I can't explain running down my face.


*sigh* I can’t wait to see these two continue to wrap each other up physically and emotionally.

5 out of 5 handcuffs


This has to be one of the most tender and beautiful stories I have ever read. A story with one of the most intimate bonds between Bella & Edward.That in itself might not be surprising. BUT what might surprise you is the fact that I am talking about a BDSM fic? Well it won’t if you have already read this cracker of a fic! As the Lady in Gray is a class act author. She has not written one shoddy fic (although she has written many stories that have made my heart bleed, shrivel and die into withered pieces whilst I sit rocking in the corner, but I digress. She really is a storming author. No bum notes here.

Edward and Bella both have tastes outside the societal norm, meaning both have experienced failure in past relationships and dalliances. There is hesitance on both sides, particularly Edward when they first meet and take their tentative first steps. Their love (although not love yet) story is not rushed, it slowly flourishes as they inspire and encourage one-another. But when I say slow and not rushed, its still very easy & quick to read. Its beautiful..

Although both Bella and Edward are into more than vanilla sex, and struggled to meet someone to meet their needs before each other, they approach the relationship quite differently. Yes Bella is hesitant and vulnerable but she is confident and sure. She’s taking it slowly and tentatively but she is definitely taking it forward. Edward, is more complex still. He had not yet accepted that it was OK to enjoy more sexually and sees himself, quite incorrectly, as being deviant and unworthy. But luckily Bella is on hand to try and coax him through this journey. This Bella is magnificent. She’s wonderful with Edward, pushing him but never too much, reassuring and stroking, calming, exciting and igniting. Slowly but surely Bella and Edward explore one another and delight in pushing their boundaries.

The play/bondage scenes are even more intimate and tender to me than the standard (& they don’t read as standard, I just mean their non-play scenes) love scenes. The awakening between them is intense and cute, Edward’s growing confidence is incredibly well-written he doesn’t go from scared to cock-sure but he pushes his own envelopes. And my god is it erotic and sensual to read. It doesn’t feel dirty, it feels beautiful and right.

Just read the end to their first meeting:




Awkward moments pass until we are well past the point I should either step in and take her mouth with my own or walk away into another night of loneliness in this infinite series, and I can feel the time slipping away, the window of my own reticence and my locked-up, locked-down head closing, and my fists ball up against the boiling sting of my own self- defeat.

Just when I think my chance is shot, though, my body turning away in the full knowledge and shame that I am about to fuck this up, she is suddenly there. And she is leaning closer.

Her breath is hot and wet, a glance of flushed flesh on the sizzling nerves of my cheek, a burning line being painted softly as she drags her mouth to my ear. I hear her rasping breath, my fists clenching.

"Kiss me."

It's a command and it's the only thing that could thaw me.

Hot fingers, buzzing and restless, unfurl to grasp at chestnut tresses, pulling her mouth from my ear. In so doing, I only earn the sharp twinge of her teeth, and it makes me growl.

Then I am falling. Lips and mouths and a secret taste of flesh as I obey. As I kiss. The wet muscle of her tongue tastes the salt-venom of my spit. I fall into the inferno of her lips, untroubled that this is our only point of connection, right up until her body is pressing into mine, soft curves fitting to hardened flesh, and we are so exposed in the shadow of her entryway.

I want her to take me, to strip me bare, and I am desperate for her to fuck me.

As if she can sense it, though, she chooses that very moment to pull away.

Our lips part wetly, her cool fingertips making a brushing line against the slickened corner of my lip.

"Perfect," she whispers, her hand still lingering. I feel like a petted animal, like this is a modicum of approval intended just to tame me.

And I lap it up.

She pulls my fingers from the tangle of her hair, kissing softly at the knuckles, and then she drops them.

The door is open before I can return to my senses, the key twisting with an eerily loud sound of metal on metal, her frame already just an instant from disappearing, and I need to know that she is real.

"B-Bella," I stutter, and again there are lips and a smile.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Mmmay I call you?"

She only makes me wait a moment as she eyes me up and down. I feel like meat beneath her stare, and I do not mind it as her teeth tear hungrily at the raw edge of her lip.

Teeth that I wish were sinking violently into the sinews of my body or marking the tender flesh between my hip and my cock.

"Of course."

I feel naked and ravaged as I lean deeply into the wall, watching the door as it finally clicks closed. My arousal is hot and hard, and I feel like I could come from the most casual of touches, from a breath really.

At that I imagine her lips, my body prone beneath hers as she hovers and whispers and puckers her lips to blow.

I palm myself, shifting the long line of my body only to feel eyes.

She is staring through the glass, her eyes wide and focused intently on my crotch.

Lips part. Tongue. Wet.


Jesus.. Its just a kiss. Now imagine bondage and restraints and wet, soft & hard bodies and intense body heat and conquering fears and permitting passions?

Yes its delicious. And just wonderful. LadyinGrey’s writing is just top drawer, not top shelf. (I am not sure if this analogy makes sense in America, just let me know if you need it explaining!)

5 pairs of handcuffs around a vulnerable, anxious, but so aroused and willing Edward out of 5


In fanfic, there is certainly no shortage of well-written, erotic fics. Every now and then, however, you run across one that is so good, you almost wonder why this person is merely writing fanfic, when they clearly have skills and abilities so far above the norm. theladyingrey42 is one of those authors. As I read “Our Lives Unbound,” I asked myself why the hell I was just now reading her work, because this lady is incredibly talented. OLU is one of those stories that is haunting, meaningful, emotional, and FUCKHOT. Believe me, the word erotic doesn’t even begin to describe the heat level of this story. I found myself UNFing out loud as I read. Seriously.

Being a hardcore member of Team Wussperv, I was initially very concerned about OLU’s Edward. He’s full of the same type of self-torment and self-loathing we’ve all come to recognize in canon Edward. His life seems so sad and empty, and my heart was clenching from the moment I began to read. I wanted to take this Edward and cuddle him; it must be the nursie in me. Well, if I’m being completely honest, that’s not all I wanted to do to him, but I digress...

So, OLU’s Edward is a stutterer. He’s lonely and awkward, and is in the midst of a series of meaningless blind dates. He sums them all up in a most painful admission:



And as always, I'll go home longing for hands that are not my own.

But I'll touch myself all the same.

And when I come, it will be silently, and with shame.


See what I mean? I just want to hold him and let him know there is no shame in what he does. *sigh*

As my heart clenched for Edward, lo and behold, something enticing appeared in the distance... could it be--Bella? Why yes, I do believe it is! From the moment he sizes Bella up from across the table, you can tell there is something different, something unique at play here. Her eyes are unlike any of the other dates--they’re real. Edward is shocked to learn that he and Bella have things in common--they’re both writers, their writing process is similar, and they both appear to be just far enough from center to be eccentric. Kindred spirits. The tension between them--a good tension, one that is filled with electricity and promise--is so taut that you’re certain this rubber band is going to snap. Oh, it is so good. So palpable. I was worried my laptop was going to short circuit from all the excess energy these two were generating.

Unlike all his other blind dates, Edward and Bella make plans to see each other again. It’s clear to the reader that Bella has Edward’s number, and that’s what makes her so perfect for him. You can just sense that somehow, this is going to be different. She knows what he needs. And what he needs--oh, dear god--is to be commanded. (Cue the whimper now). She forces Edward to confront his demons, making him stronger and more confident. So, once I’m done cuddling Edward, I’m going to kiss Bella for being so awesome.

Watching Bella coax Edward out of his shell is exquisite. She encourages him, strengthens him, supports him, in the most subtle of ways. She asks him to tell her what he wants to do to her--the dirty talking stutterer. He reacts automatically, explaining that he can’t, but she knows that he can. Watching him get out the words feels so victorious.



"I told you," she whispers into my mouth. "I told you that you could tell me. And it makes me so fucking hot."


She is exactly what Edward needs, and he is exactly what she needs. Their foray into BDSM progresses subtly, but Bella becomes more commanding as time goes on. What is especially beautiful about their relationship is that Bella uses it to prop Edward up, to make him feel special and unique. She knows he gets lost in his head, tangled up in his negative thoughts. With a gesture as small as putting her fingers under his chin to lift his gaze into her face, she pulls him away from his self-flagellation and back into the moment, where it is just the two of them.

As commanding as Bella can be with Edward, she is also nearly as vulnerable as is he. Just like Edward is afraid Bella will lose interest in him, she is equally as afraid that she will scare him away. They’ve both been damaged by careless, thoughtless individuals in the past, and their experiences have left them with wounds that can only be healed by each other. At one point in the story, Edward confesses to her that he went to a porn shop to buy some accoutrements (fucking sexyhot leather handcuffs--oh, do I want to see those on him!) for their play. When Edward starts to feel bashful and guilty about what he’s done, Bella commands to him:



"No," she spits. "Don't you fucking dare. You won't be ashamed of this."


In each other’s arms, within the confines of their relationship, both Edward and Bella find redemption and acceptance. That affirmation of one another makes for a beautiful and appealing connection, aside from being incredibly erotic. These two are made for one another, and I am absolutely grateful that their worlds collided.

*runs to read the rest of theladyingrey42’s 17 stories*

5 out of 5 handcuffs


This was my first introduction to theladyingrey42’s work, and I’m still stunned by how visceral and real her writing is. I’m always a little hesitant to read fics where the character has some kind of physical issue. I want it to be real, not contrived, and Our Lives Unbound has completely hit the mark.

Edward is a writer, with a stutter, and he has essentially secluded himself from life. After thirty years of never finding someone to draw him out, to help him break out of his self-imposed life prison, he asks his brother, Emmett, to help him. As the story opens, Edward is on one of the many blind dates Emmett has arranged through an online dating site. You can feel the desperate edge, the desire he clings to as he searches for someone to peel back the layers of his complicated self loathing and hidden desires.



And I know it will be another one of those nights. A night when I'll go home alone to a prison of an apartment and a mirror covered in toothpaste and spit to see my hair standing up on one side, the only visible sign of the torture each of these encounters puts me through.

The torture I put myself through.

Shaking the ice and whiskey in my glass, I sigh again, avoiding the sight of the cold blue gaze and the dipping tongue. I try to remember that there are worse fates than blind dates in this large and lonely world.


Bella makes an appearance on one of his Friday night blind dates, and he discovers that she too, is a writer. She is unfazed by his stutter and has an uncanny ability to get him to open up, share, and relax in ways he never imagined. She pushes him to new places in ways that challenge and draw out the best in him.



Awkward moments pass until we are well past the point I should either step in and take her mouth with my own or walk away into another night of loneliness in this infinite series, and I can feel the time slipping away, the window of my own reticence and my locked-up, locked-down head closing, and my fists ball up against the boiling sting of my own self- defeat.

Just when I think my chance is shot, though, my body turning away in the full knowledge and shame that I am about to fuck this up, she is suddenly there. And she is leaning closer.

Her breath is hot and wet, a glance of flushed flesh on the sizzling nerves of my cheek, a burning line being painted softly as she drags her mouth to my ear. I hear her rasping breath, my fists clenching.

"Kiss me."

It's a command and it's the only thing that could thaw me.


This tension grows and builds as they explore their relationship. I loved watching Bella draw him out, make him comfortable, and start to actually love himself, and what she makes him think and feel. She pushes his limits, but she never makes him feel weak or inadequate. It’s absolutely beautiful.

Together, they explore Bella’s need to dominate, and Edward’s need to submit. Each encounter, where they offer themselves to each other in their own unique way, is vivid, visceral, and rich. I consistently walk away from each other their encounters feeling exhausted (in the best possible way) and wanting more.



"Strip." Her command is uttered in a voice so quiet and yet so strong that it almost makes me whimper. She has come to a stop in front of me, her stance wide and her arms crossed over the perfection of her chest. Possessed, I let my hands drift up to the buttons of my shirt, opening each with trembling and with certainty. I have never done this before, never bared myself before a woman before, and the fear of exposure begins to war with the soft, warm space inside my head created by her control.

The acceleration of my thoughts is brought to a screeching halt with the soft pressure of a hand beneath my chin, tilting my face up until I am staring into eyes that are burning in their intensity. She searches my gaze at some length and then nods her head, apparently seeing what she is looking for as she murmurs, "Better," and then withdraws her hand.

I resume my actions, slowly peeling away each piece of clothing.

Only now it is something I do without fear.

Because the entire time, I am staring into her eyes.

When I am fully nude, she smirks, stepping forward slightly and running the tip of her forefinger all the way along the surface of my skin from my neck and over my chest and stomach, avoiding my desperate cock completely and ending her tour of touch at my hip.

She begins her inspection of me again, slow appreciative steps circling my body, and my abdomen flexes, some warm charge shooting through me. Some foreign and heady feeling of being wanted.

Desirable.

I almost moan.

"Fuck, you look good naked," she hisses, again from behind me. She licks the shell of my ear.

"But I think you'd look even better on your knees."


And that’s what I’m talking about, ladies! That is but a taste of what is in store when you read this amazing story. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter, and I’m really looking forward to finally getting to read some of her other work.

5 out of 5 handcuffs

The one thing I love above almost anything else in fan fiction is a great twist on canon, and Our Lives Unbound nails it for me. Edward's ‘I’m a bloodthirsty monster' self-loathing in canon is translated by theladyingrey42 into 'i'm a sexual deviant, no one will ever love me, understand me or give me what i need.’ From that starting point, she gives us a beautiful story of self discovery, and of two lonely hearts finding fulfillment in a way they’d only dreamed was possible.

Chapter 1 gives us a look at an achingly lonely and morose Edward, going through a string of blind dates which offer no hope of becoming something more.



...I know it will be another one of those nights. A night when I'll go home alone to a prison of an apartment and a mirror covered in toothpaste and spit to see my hair standing up on one side, the only visible sign of the torture each of these encounters puts me through.

The torture I put myself through.

Shaking the ice and whiskey in my glass, I sigh again, avoiding the sight of the cold blue gaze and the dipping tongue. I try to remember that there are worse fates than blind dates in this large and lonely world.


This Bella is the perfect translation of canon B too. I’ve always found canon Bella kind of whiny, and a clingy doormat. This Bella is similar, but not in an obnoxious, needy way. She wants to find her other half, too, wants to give E everything he needs and wants to explore a side of herself that she’s never really been able to before. She's strong, but still a little vulnerable, a little insecure, and I LOVE that.

After a particularly intense sexual encounter, we get a glimpse of the inner Bella, the unfulfilled woman longing for a true partner, a lover that can match her desires and give her what she needs, the fragile woman beneath the domineering lover.



"I knew I should have stopped or slowed down. Something. Anything, really, but you were so … so sexy when you let me take you like that. It was such a rush, and you seemed so into it. Everybody else - I've never - I just - "

The vulnerability on her face is terrifying as she pleads, "I don't want to scare you away, Edward."


I love that on some level they'd rather be alone than abandon who they are, or settle for less, and that together they bloom into this amazing thing neither of them ever expected they would find. Another thing I love about this story is that both Edward and Bella are learning as they go - techniques, boundaries... all of the other BDSM stories I’ve read involve an experienced Dom (Edward) training a novice sub (Bella), and it is wonderfully honest and refreshing to see these two make all these discoveries together. They know what turns them on, and they know what they want to do, but putting it into practice with another person takes a level of trust neither of them has found before.

One of the most beautiful moments so far comes in chapter 8, after Bella forces Edward to list the naughty things he’s done to earn the punishment he craves, and it solidifies my love for Bella:



"I've b-bought pornography." Smack. "And masturbated." Smack. "And wanted this."...

She's before me suddenly, my head being jerked up from a harsh touch gripping roughly at my chin, forcing me to meet eyes that are burning.

And not just with desire.

"No," she spits. "Don't you fucking dare. You won't be ashamed of this."...

"I'm not," I breathe. "N-not anymmmore."


I don’t think he's really all that different from other Edwards in the fandom - lots of writers try to pull off this personality, a damaged, hopeless, vulnerable Edward, but I think TLIGrey is the first one to write him this well. I’ve said it before. I would read her grocery list. I defy you to read anything under her penname and not be amazed.

5 out of 5 handcuffs

2 comments:

SharonMacross said...

This was just what I needed. I just finished a story and didn't want to start something long.

I love her and this story is yummy.

Jessedholm said...

Excellent rec! I am loving every word. Her stuttering Edward is so adorable! What is it about a domme bella that I love so much? There aren't enough fics like this one. Sub plans is the only other one I know of.