Thursday, April 19, 2012

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 4/18/12


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy never ceases to be amazed by the fact that many women have never taken a good look at their own lady bits. She thinks one of the reasons she gets so many questions about lady bits is because none of this stuff gets covered in most school curriculums. Sure, maybe biology or anatomy and physiology covers the basic names of parts, but not much more than that.

Because of that fact, Naughty Nurse Kimpy is going to run down a few blogs that focus on lady bits. We’re all aware that the subject of hymens is a common one, but there’s more to a cooter than that little flap of skin. Today, we’re talking about THE VULVA. The lower lips. Labias Minora and Majora. The clit. The perineum. It’s all part of the vulva. Not only that, Nurse Kimpy is going to encourage you to look at your *own* bits. After all, it’s kind of difficult to give a partner directions of where to go if you don’t know the lay of the land yourself, KWIM? So please, get comfortable, grab a mirror, and let’s get started. For all her male readers, Nurse Kimpy suggests that you either: A) Participate in your lady partner’s discovery process, and/or B) Take copious notes for future reference. It should come in handy.

For starters, get yourself in a comfortable place/position and grab your mirror. You’re going to be naked, or at least partly naked, so get warm. Ready?

Angle your mirror in such a way that you can see your lady bits clearly. Take a few minutes and explore all the nooks and crannies. Using the chart listed above, try to determine which illustration you most closely resemble. We’re not grading you on this assignment, by the way, so there are no right or wrong answers. We won’t even ask you what your number is. This is merely a way for you to become better acquainted with yourself (you might want to put a little bit of lube on your fingers and slick it over your lips, making it easier for you to explore). If you want to compare your bits to actual photographs of other lady bits, Nurse Kimpy suggests that you check out Vulva 101. It’s the website for a new book that’s devoted to--wait for it, wait for it--appreciating the vulva. It’s full of win.

The most important aspect of this assignment is not only your own discovery process, but also not being critical of what you find. Every vagina looks completely different from others, but they all have one thing in common--they’re unique and they’re beautiful. Figure out what your favorite feature is. If you find yourself getting turned on by your exploration, Nurse Kimpy gives you permission to take a *ahem* detour. Or two.

Hiya, as is the custom (and with due reasons) I'll begin with how amazing and educational your blog is, especially to people who are just beginning to be sexually active such as myself. It's very hard to find non-judgemental answers to questions about healthy sex and not very many places that can give out clinical advice about sex without bringing on any sort of embarrassment, so thank you! :D

My question is about your cooter color. I have a thick growth of hair down below, and recently started waxing there. I noticed that my vaginal area is darker than my skin, while I thought it was supposed to be the other way around. I'll ask the dreaded question, but is that normal for an Indian girl of 18 (whose still a virgin)? I've never had any problems or anything go amiss in the area down below but was just wondering if a darker hooha is in fact common. :)

Naughty Nurse Kimpy never writes with the expectation of getting reader accolades, so it always makes her a little embarrassed to be singled out for that. She humbly and gratefully accepts any praise, but she never expects it. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.

Now, on to your question. *EEEEEEEEEEE NOT THE WORD NORMAL AGAIN!!* It is actually completely natural for a woman of any ethnicity to have lady bits that are darker/lighter/a different color than the other surrounding skin. If you take a peeky at the Vulva101 site, you will note that some of those lips vary in color. In fact, your cooter can be different colors throughout, with the lips a dark purple and the inside a light pink. Our vaginas look as different from one another as do our faces, so any variation or variety is on the spectrum of normal. And don’t worry--neither losing your virginity nor waxing will affect the color of your cooter.

Dear Nurse Kimpy, This seems crazy, but can size/shape/color of a woman's genitals change? As we age or with peri menopause or with "friction". It just seems that my "inner lips" are darker in color and longer in shape than they used to be.

Dear reader--please refer to the previous section for more detailed information about the color of one’s vulva. The most likely culprit that causes the vulva to change color is hormones, since most of these changes take place during puberty. There are also changes that take place during pregnancy--a time when the vulva changes shape and size dramatically--and some of those changes can be permanent, like increasing the length of the inner lips. Nurse Kimpy hasn’t been able to find any evidence that friction plays a role in the coloring of the vulva.

My skin is darker at my upper thighs and around my vagina from least I'm pretty sure that's why. Would it be okay for me to use any kind of skin lightening products there?

Naughty Nurse Kimpy would also guess that the discoloration is from chafing, too. That being said, the entire idea of skin lightening makes her a bit nervous. Your body is created the way nature intended for it to look, so altering it makes it artificial. Not only that, having a strong product like a lightening cream in the vicinity of your sensitive genital tissues also makes her nervous. Try using a good moisturizing cream on that area twice a day--morning and night--and see if that helps the color on its own. If you’re truly concerned about it, you can always ask your physician or gynecologist to take a peek at it and make some recommendations.

The question Nurse Kimpy needs to ask you is: why do you want the skin to be lighter? It isn’t a highly visible area, after all, unless it’s bikini season or you happen to be a swimmer or gymnast. If you’re merely concerned that a partner might not like how it looks, she reminds you that if your partner is right for you, something like a bit of darker skin on your inner thighs shouldn’t make any difference to them.

Greetings, I am "that guy" who follows the blog, I'm glad I broke the ice for the other dudes which I've seen posting question lately. I can't thank you enough Naughty Nurse for last times advice on my girl's *hymen* which so happened to be of the "compliant" type. The question is now, sometimes during the act, the leftovers of her hymen will become swollen! Blown like a balloon and this often disrupt the pleasure as we must stop, it being no longer pleasant for her. First off it's NOT that she is not wet enough because she sure as hell is wet and keeps on wetting.... (if it may please you to know, she can wet to the point of actually soaking her panties and it dripping to her pants/legs below. Just putting it out there for the girl who asked a few weeks ago if that was even possible In the real world). I'd like to know if there is anything to do with it. Thanks!

First of all, kudos to you for having the balls--literally!--to read Nurse Kimpy’s advice. She welcomes her male readers with open arms. There aren’t a lot of you out there, but Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is a segregation-free zone. Just saying.

Second of all, you’ve earned yourself a fistbump of solidarity for making your girl so wet it drips onto her pants/legs. That’s so awesome, it has Nurse Kimpy grinning like an idiot. You go, guy.

Finally, to your question. Your girl’s compliant hymen shouldn’t be blowing up like a balloon. Granted, when your partner is as sexually aroused as yours gets, there is some general swelling that happens when her bits get engorged with blood as part of the sexual arousal response. Are you two using condoms when you have sex? Nurse Kimpy wonders if, perhaps, your girl may have a sensitivity to latex. Whether you’re using condoms or not, however, your partner really should consult with her gynecologist or general practitioner about the matter, just to check out if there are any structural issues causing the problem.

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.