Monday, April 9, 2012

Turn Me On: There Are No Gays in Football

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There Are No Gays in Football
Author: Kink Me, Merlin 
Status: WIP 
Chapters: 20 
Prompt: The following anonymous prompt bore this story:

Arthur/Merlin, modern!AU, Footie!AU! 
Okay, here’s the thing, I’m looking for university or professional level, NOT high school, and I don’t want Merlin to be part of the team, but I’d like him to be something more than just a fan, like someone attached to, but not a member of the team- I have this wild image of him as a physiotherapist (maybe a specialist) they have brought in because someone important to the team (like Arthur *hint, hint*) has been injured, but that’s just a thought. I’d also love to see the team/uniform colours be Pendragon Red.

"Jaysusfuck," Em said. "Jaysus bloody fuck. Oh, Arthur, this was your first time coming out? To the clubs, I mean?"
It had me from the football aspect - all those men in those SHORTS with those LEGS and bodies and faces like greek adonis STUDS... but then Em came along with his Jaysus and that was it for me. It's not only the language in this - because it is completely and utterly British in the sense that me being quite the avid Brit TV watcher and having grown up with grandparents and family from the UK I can literally hear the accents in my head as I read. The snappy sayings and Brit-isms if you will are thick and fast but don't deter you from what's going on, if you're not quite clear on the lingo as it might be said.

Then there's the fact that Em is SO FREAKING HOT with his eyes and his magic hands and his dropping of the word Jaysusfuck like it's going out of fashion when it comes to his feelings about Arthur. Arthur the up and coming football star, Arthur with a rich football heritage and a gay streak that is so well hidden it might as well be a line in the centre of the earth. Which it is - until he meets Em. Em is the fairy godmother in a sense of Arthur's being true to himself and his wants but instead of just being that guiding hand, he becomes something more. SO much more in fact and jaysus (yes, it's well versed in my own vocabulary now!) if the scene in the locker room doesn't get you, I don't know what will!
"Then Em was sliding back Arthur's foreskin with his other hand and melting into the space between Arthur's thighs. "Jaysus, your cock, Arthur. How is even your cock so fucking perfect?" he said brokenly, before feeding it down his throat.
*looks up from drool covered keyboard. Jaysus.*

Don't take my pitiful rambly rec at face value, this is a fic that will have you reading until your eyes demand to be closed and even then you'll find a way to prop them up with matchsticks to keep going. At over 30 parts/chapters and still a WIP, there's an abundance of good times and heart aches and ALL the good things you want in a fic to be read and I know for one I'll be clicking on the update link as SOON as it hits my inbox. Much love to the gorgeous AsyaAna, Mab_di and Magnolia822 for FLAILING like the good Merthur flailers they are to entice me over to this wickedly good read!


So Boo, has impeccable taste. She knows I cannot handle non happy endings, but any fic she recommends to me, I love. Any fic she flails over, I flail over. Any fic she key-smashes about - either on twitter, her LJ or by email I know I will literally lose my shite over and HAVE ALL THE FEELINGS FOR!!!! That is precisely what happened when she recc’d this fic to me. Soccer fic of doom she said, and in terms of taking over your life and being fab. And she was right. As Boo said. The footie in this is SO top notch! SO SPOT ON! No need to worry about things being wrong, or unrealistic. If you follow footie like me (Not JUST to ogle the tottie!), you will be so happy with the footie action and lingo. Also, too many fics are ruined for me by weird Americanisms in a story set in Britain or getting important trivial details wrong. So again with the Boo seal of approval for Britness, I knew this would be golden. And it was!

The thing with There are no Gay’s in Football is that it could be four of five different fics... One part a bloke coming to terms with his sexuality and trying to get his overbearing father to accept him and his choices. One part a story of a bloke who has met the love of his love but has no fucking clue how to get out of the friend zone and get all up in his zones, and be more to him. And one part its a story of football , and how it is still terribly stereotyped, how homophobia is one of football’s last big taboos and the pressure on young gay athletes to act straight, to maintain double lives and make the most of it. One part a story of a bloke so in love with football, its all (pre Merlin) he ever wanted from life, to play, to excel, to live it. And one part a story of a bloke trying to find his life again. Thankfully There are no Gay’s in Football is all of this and more, as its wrapped up in a well-written, wonderfully thick duvet cover of love and hope and warmth and friendship and feelings. So it never becomes just one of the parts above. Instead you feel it all, all the different sides to Arthur, all the different aspects of his life and how they come together, spectacularly or spectacularly badly at times!

So we get Arthur feeling his way through his sexuality, including experimenting with sex toys, I particularly loved these scenes, as he so innocently tells Merlin what he’s up to whilst on the phone and poor oblivious!Arthur doesn’t quite understand why Merlin has to get off the phone so ruddy quick!
He slicked up one finger with the lube and began teasing his hole, running the pad of his finger in circles around the perimeter, then pressing in with the tip. With his other hand, he picked up the plug. He looked at it, imagining it inside himself. He held it against his lips, licked at it, then slid it across the flat of his tongue and partway down his throat.

He suckled the plug as he fingered himself. It was nothing he hadn't done before, minus all fancy props – he sometimes sucked on two of his fingers as he worked one into his arse – but the plug had the advantage of being longer than his fingers and alien to his body; it was easier for Arthur to imagine it was someone else's cock.

Em's cock. Except Arthur hoped Em's cock was much larger. And less blue. <

Without thinking, he snatched up the phone.

"Em!" he cried. "Mate, it's been – "


"Yes, it's me, Em."

"Oh, Arthur, are you all right? I only just saw on Sky Sports; then I saw Gwaine's text. I rang him and he told me what happened.

"What?" The afternoon's events seemed very far away to Arthur, compared to the insistent pressure in his arse and the taste of rich wine on his tongue. "Oh, yes, the match. Fucking racist phobahomic… er, homophobic cunt. I don't want to talk about him. I want to talk to you about… you."

"Arthur, are you drunk? Where are you?"

"In my dining room, naked." It was out before he could censor himself. Arthur held the phone away from his mouth and giggled. He brought it back to his ear when he heard tinny-sounding shouting.

"Whoops! Sorry, mate, TMI."

"Arthur, um, I may regret asking this, but what are you doing? What are you on?"

Arthur stifled another giggle. "It's going to be more TMI, Em. Do you really want to know?"

"Yes. Jaysus, Arthur, you're freaking me out."

"Aww, Em. Good of you to worry, mate, but it's only a bit of Merlot, and I'm only playing."


Arthur found himself nodding, though there was no way Em could see him. "Mmm-hmm. Playing the gay way, with the new toys Morgana gave me."

There was a horrible spluttering, choking sound on Em's end. Arthur leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table, delighting in the way the position drove the tip of the plug into his prostate.

"For example, right now I am sitting at my – oh, hrmm, that's nice – dining room table, as I said, wearing nothing but a leather cock and ball harness and a big, blue – Em? EM?

Arthur frowned at his phone. He switched off the television and cleaned up his meal, then returned to his bedroom. He sprawled on the bed and punched in Em's speed dial code.

"You hung up on me," he said.

"Oh god, sorry, I… I, um… I dropped my phone," Em stammered.

"Lame, Emrys. A five-year-old could do better."

"Arthur, you're – well, you're clearly drunk. Or gone round the bend."

"Ha! Exactly!" Arthur crowed. "The big, queer bend!"

"And I didn't think you really meant to be telling me about your, er, play."

"Oh, but I did. Who if not you, Em? You're the only gay I know, as you've said. And you told me you couldn't stand the thought of me denying myself physical intimacy. Well, I'm having physical intimacy – quite lovely physical intimacy – with an Adonis Classic Slim in cobalt blue. I've had it in there for a couple of hours now, and I thought you'd like to know."

There was a long silence.

"Em?" Arthur heard a deep inhale, then a muffled series of thumps and a curse.

"Okay, Arthur, I'm going to hang up now."

"No, no, wait," Arthur said, feeling the unhappy pinch of sobriety cutting through all the other conflicting bodily sensations. "Em, I – god I'm such a stupid bastard!"

"No argument there."

"I missed you, Em, and you were right: I do want it. The sex and… and everything. I'm sorry I've been such a prude."

Arthur heard more muffled thumps. When Em started speaking again he sounded hoarse.

"Arthur, you've nothing to apologize to me for. Apologize to yourself for all the time you've wasted. And play safe, all right? I've got to go. I'll see you in a week or so."

"No, wait, Em, you still don't understand!"

"What, Arthur? What don't I understand?"

"I wish it were you," Arthur whispered, fisting his free hand in the duvet. "The plug Em, I wish it were you. I can't stop thinking about – "

"Oh god, Arthur, stop. Please. Just – " There was harsh breathing on the line, then something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper.

You really do feel like Arthur is having to learn how to be him. How to love, how to be intimate and how to act on his feelings. Hardly a surprise when he has to lock EVERYTHING about himself away in a tiny box, to not even think about it so he can be a footballer, do the profession that he adores.

So onto in a way, one of the most important elements of the story. And one that could have been handled oh so badly. Arthur being gay in a dominantly and aggressively heterosexual environment. One where heterosexuality is your only option. There are no Gay’s in Football skillfully tackles the taboo, showing players and friends supportive of Arthur, but always overshadowed by the fact that there are no openly gay footballers, and it would likely ruin everything for Arthur. And here is where it could get very tricky to write. But Arthur in this tale is not afraid of his sexuality or his relationship. Instead he is super proud of being with Emrys, and having a boyfriend.

However all his advice, from agents etc is to stay firmly in the closet. Some friends however give different advice, about trailblazing, about showing everyone how its done, about being out and proud and making a stand for all those who cannot or could not. The discussion around this I think is too skillfully done by the author as Arthur just wants to be another bloke in love, with his lovely boyfriend, and play his heart out on the pitch every week. He doesn’t want to throw open his entire life to the media, and charities and organisations and become a figurehead or poster boy. He just wants to be normal, and domestic and filthy when it comes to sexing his said gorgeous physiotherapist, ‘magic hands’ Emrys. Tough topics are handled with such a sensitive, tender and yet sure, touch that it makes for a great read, and I said above the balance is very good. For example the author discusses the highly emotive topic of a British gay footballer who killed himself and the aftermath in terms of the culture and ethos of football, without sensationalizing or milking a tragic real life event.

This story gave me so much to consider and think about re gay footballers, and the sport in general. It also made me feel all sorts of love for Arthur and Emrys. I love how the author has written them as a loving, vital unit, strong and committed to one-another. No scraped together or hash-job love triangle thrown in here. The sex is sizzling as Arthur is trying to make up for lost time and Merlin loves to play with him. Their chemistry, love and friendship shine through so strongly. And I HAVE ALL THE FEELINGS FOR THESE TWO BOYS!!!! As Boo said above “Jaysus Fuck!” I so want them to be all safe and everything to be be ok for them. As these two deserve proper happiness.

I owe Boo HUGE for turning me on to this fic, and I hope that this has turned you on to try this fic, yes its a huge size (twss) [140k] but “Jaysus Fuck” its worth it! Every word and scene is perfection. Perfect fic! So go on give it a whirlie. If you love killer UST, sweet gorgeous boys in love, fast paced sports action, illicit BTS action, such as steamy locker room scenes,amazing first!time! scenes, and a story that considers what its like to change your whole life to where you want it, and to want to shout it from the rafter - but you cannot. Gah. its got it all!


I just started this fic Sunday afternoon and have only gotten about a quarter of the way through, but I can’t put it down for anything. I love it! It’s fun to see Arthur as insecure and to see Em as totally in his element. Out of character fics have always made me sit up a bit straighter because I never know what’s going to happen. That’s what has been so enjoyable about his so far.

Here’s a great example of how hard Arthur is trying to understand what life is about as a gay man who is just now exploring his sexuality with a partner. He is eager, wearing a plug all throughout dinner, but Em slows things down to a more reasonable pace but still gives Arthur what he craves.
Arthur wiggled his bottom against Em's thigh hopefully. "So you will? At least fuck me, I mean?"

"Not with my cock, Arthur. I'm too – well, I couldn’t do it justice tonight. But I won’t let your good plug work go to waste."

Arthur frowned. "But I'm ready, Em. I stretched and everything."

"Ssh," Em said, placing a finger against Arthur's lips. "You started with it, so let me finish you off with it. That and my fingers. How big is it? Come on, spread your legs and let me see."

Arthur scooted down. He wedged one knee against the back of the sofa and draped his other leg over the edge of the seat. Em sat back and tugged off his boots, then he was kneeling between Arthur's thighs, nosing at his balls and laving the base of his cock. He gripped his cock in one hand and the base of the plug in the other.

"Feel like you still have enough lube in there?"

Arthur nodded. "Think so."

Em smiled saucily. "Well, let's find out." He began rotating the plug, pulling it a little way out until Arthur's body was clutching for it, then pressing back in. He watched Arthur carefully, and Arthur watched back, but as with the blowjob in the wetroom, the sight of Em crouched between his legs was too much on top of all the other stimuli. Arthur closed his eyes.

"Feels fine," he whispered. "Feels good. You can go harder."

Em began fucking into him with the plug in earnest, thankfully holding the base of Arthur's cock clamped tight in one hand. When Arthur keened for more, Em stopped.

Arthur looked up, about to protest, but Em said, "Here, hold yourself here. Tight. And don’t you dare come yet." He positioned Arthur's hands on his cock, then turned his attentions back to the plug.

Em placed a thumb and forefinger firmly against the stretched skin and began to pull the plug out. Arthur clenched helplessly. He'd had the thing in for hours now and his body didn't want to let it go, but Em whispered encouragements into Arthur's thighs.

"That's it. Give over, Arthur. Relax. I want to get my fingers in there."

And he did – one, two, then even three of them. They were slimmer and rougher and longer than the plug. They didn’t give the same sensation of fullness, but they were sentient and warm and curled against Arthur's prostate.
Yeah. That just makes me all swoony. And it just gets better and better. I’m astounded by Arthur’s bravery already and amazed at Em’s restraint, because I know I could resist a greedy!bottom Arthur.

All I can say is read this! It’s so worth it.

Here are some websites for you for more information on homosexuality in sport:

StandUp Foundation Ben Cohen’s (Former Rugby Player) organisation against bullying, with a focus on removing homophobia from sports.

OUT SPORTS A general sports website with news on gay athletes.

You Can Play Project Organization started by an NHL player, trying to create an inclusive non-threatening atmosphere in sport.

Think B4 You Speak public service ads in US.

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Anonymous said...

UGH this fic I NEED TO FIND TIME TO READ MORE!!! ps ily Em xox

Emmy said...

I'm still waiting for an update!!!!
& yes I need more time to read now Glomp has landed!
ILY2, thanks again for reccing Footie fic to me!