Thursday, May 31, 2012

Naughty Nurse 05/30/2012


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Hi Nursie! I have been reading your column, can't even remember, but I adore it. I'm in nursing school and hope to turn out as knowledgeable as you one day.

That being said, this isn't a totally sex-related question, but here goes. Recently I just started having (fabulous) sex with my boyfriend of almost a year, and it turns out that I bruise really, really easily. Now, I always have, and am Snow-Whitish in the skin department, but these finger-shaped sexy bruises (arms, legs, wherever) are very obvious and rather a nuisance. Is there a supplement I could take to lessen them? Or is there something else going on of why I could be bruising so easy? I'm not on any meds, and he's not using...excessive...force. ;) Thanks so much! You're the best!

Welcome to the Nursie Club. We’re awfully glad to have new members. :) Now, about your bruising. Nurse Kimpy suspects that you’re just one of those individuals who bruise easily. Bruises are the result of an injury that causes blood to leak out from your capillaries into the surrounding tissue. Typically, this is the result of a hard blow, but for some of us, we bruise so easily that we have no idea what even caused the injury. In general, women tend to bruise more easily than men. As you age, you become even more susceptible to bruising, because your skin starts to thin out and your capillary walls start to weaken. There are even certain substances, like aspirin and fish oil, that can increase your likelihood of bruising.

For most people, bruising is nothing more than a reminder that there was an injury to that particular skin surface. There are some rare individuals, however, for whom bruising easily can be a sign that something is awry with their blood chemistry. You could have a low platelet count, for example. Nurse Kimpy recommends that you follow up with your doctor--and no, you don’t have to explain exactly how you procure those finger-shaped bruises--to have a blood test just to be on the safe side. Good luck, and wear those bruises proudly.

Hi NNK. I don't have feeling inside my vagina. I can feel pressure if I press hard but I don't feel the touch. I even pressed with my fingernail and felt nothing. Do you have any idea why this could be? Thanks for all your advice. It's so helpful

You might be surprised to learn that the vagina doesn’t have many nerve endings. Most of those nerves are located toward the vaginal opening. As Nurse Kimpy has mentioned before, most women have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm. In fact, if you look at a 3D schematic of the lady bits, you will note that the image in yellow illustrates the nerve fibers of the clitoris. They circle around the opening of the vagina, in the vulva, and continue back to reach the anus. There are more nerve fibers in the tip of the clitoris than there are in the entire male penis. That’s why everything is so sensitive to touch between the clitoris and the anus. It could also explain why some women can orgasm from anal, but not vaginal, sex.

The important issue to figure out is whether or not you can achieve orgasms via clitoral stimulation. If you can, wonderful. While your vagina might not be full of nerves, your other bits appear to be working just as they should be. If you have issues with feeling in your clitoris and vulva in addition to your vagina, however, Nurse Kimpy urges you to consult with your gynecologist. They can help you determine the reason for this lack of feeling in all of your bits.

Some of my friends and I got talking and we could not come up an actual answer (if there is one out there) so I thought I would ask you. Why are some women screamers and others moaners?

Oh, you naughty girls. You take right after Naughty Nurse herself! You might be surprised to learn that there has been research on the subject of copulatory vocalization--otherwise known as sex noises. Apparently, most women make noise during sex, but not necessarily while they’re having the Big O. What the research shows is that women moan or scream to either stroke their partner’s ego (87% of respondents) or to speed their lover toward orgasm (66%). In other words, there are a lot of women who pull a Meg Ryan during sex.

Now, why do some women scream and some women moan? That isn’t as easily answered. Obviously, there are women who both scream and moan, and others who say nothing, along the spectrum of copulatory vocalization. Nurse Kimpy supposes that the type and amount of vocalizations during sex has more to do with temperament than anything else. Extroverts probably tend to be noisier than introverts, but that’s just a guess. Interestingly, humans aren’t the only females who vocalize during sex in the animal kingdom--female baboons do as well. Not only that, they tend to vocalize more loudly and for a longer period of time while they’re ovulating. It’s an evolutionary strategy for them to make them more attractive to males when they’re at the most fertile point of their cycle.

For those women who are pulling Meg Ryans during sex, Nurse Kimpy encourages you to be open and honest with your partner about just how much you’re enjoying what they do. While nearly every woman has faked an orgasm before, to do so on a regular basis tells your partner that they’re doing an incredible job of getting you off, when in actuality, it’s the exact opposite. Everyone deserves to have orgasms, and that includes you. If your partner isn’t getting you to the finish line, talk about it, don’t fake it. There’s nothing healthier than talking about sex and pleasure openly with your partner. It’s the best way to get what you both want.

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