Sunday, August 2, 2009

JO & OOE have a chat, Perv stylie.

JO & OOE have a chat, Perv stylie.


This week, the mother of Daddy-Docward (and Bikerward *SQUEE!*), author of Holding Out For You & Lady of the Knight, ObsessingOverEdward , gets down to srs bzns with the PP's own Darkward enthusiast, Jo (Cullenitis).

Jo's questions for OOE:

JO: My first question, obviously, is what got you started writing fic? Did it start with Fanfic? Did it start with Twilight? (I know mine did – I didn't even READ before Twilight). Did you write before fanfic?
OOE: Gosh, I feel like I’ve answered this a million times but I suppose it has just been my own little group of friends so forgive me if you’ve heard this before. Meh. I had no clue that I could write creatively. I hadn’t written anything since high school *counts on fingers* almost…um…a long time ago and nothing creative only essays that I forced out. It wasn’t until I had been reading fanfic for almost a year and Jayeliwood had the Sexy Eddie contest. I read a couple of one-shots and thought, “I would have totally written that differently,” which got me thinking that I should put my story where my mouth was. I wrote four smut-shots for that contest and L-O-V-E-D it! This is definitely a new obsession, so much so that I have packed away all my crafty outlets and only focus on this.


JO: How did you come up with HOFY? Do you remember when/where you were? Any quirky little anectdote behind it's creation?
OOE: HOFY was supposed to be a fluffy little baseball story. In my mind Bella was divorced, Edward was widowed and Liz was a pain in the tush, but the story took a turn that was a complete shock. After I wrote chapter two (EPOV on meeting Bella and his back story) I realized that his story needed to be told more than what I had planned so things changed. That day I also happened to be driving in my car and the song Still Holding Out For You by SheDaisy started playing and it just solidified the feelings that Edward had to be facing with the idea of moving on.
JO: Yeah, NGL... SOOO happy that it was more than what you originally planned.



JO: The detailing in your fic is pretty progressive and intense. I think it's one of the things that makes it so much fun to read (at least for me) and so very realistic. Do you pull a lot of the pulp and detail from RL experiences, or do you do a lot of online research for them? (The setting of HOFY has got to be one of my faves BTW... and completely foreign/new to me).
OOE: I really just write what I see. It plays out like a movie and I write it. As for the setting, in HOFY I write what I know. LOTK was set in NYC and I had never been there. The research for that was a pain and so I decided that I’d rather spend my time developing characters and plot then looking up locations and scanning pics for the proper descriptions. So, since I had lived on the California Coast (Monterey Peninsula) for 17 years, I decided that I would love to share my love for the area with anyone that picked up my story. My next story will also be set in Monterey and I’ve had the privilege of helping Muggleinlove with the setting of one of her stories, Taking Chances. What has been fun to hear, are people that have set their vacations to visit there and PM me for recs to restaurants and touristy things to do. I even got a picture from a reader standing in front of the vacation rental that I posted on my web page as Edward’s home. LOL
JO: So, I've never seen Monterey – not even a pic – and yet, I love it and want to go there, all because of you.


JO: So your Daddy/Docward is BEYOND HAWT, and aside from being a Dad, being successful, and having a sad story, he doesn't really have any pretentious or crazy tricks that make him that way. Yet... he is one of the hottest Edwards in the fandom (IMO). Did you expect the reaction you've received to him?
OOE: Um….no. I have been honestly shocked at the attention this story has gotten. As for hot Doctor/Daddyward, he’s my favorite. I think we like him so much because he’s real. He’s not perfect and has made some bad decisions but not stupid ones, instead they were ones that any of us could make in our grief over losing someone that we love. So I think he has an appeal because he’s relatable and hello…who doesn’t love a man that can speak Italian, Surf, fix people that are broken, is a good dad, loves a kid that’s not biologically his, compassionate, sexy, and has found interesting ways to use honey sticks.
JO: YESSS!! HONEYSTICKS!! I have to note here, that I had my very FIRST honeystick a couple weeks ago (stumbled across them in the library cafe). Nope, couldn't eat one without thinking dirty, dirty, perverted thoughts. I need to go back to the library and get some more.... they really are so very, very perfect for what your ExB did with them. Damn.



JO: Where do you stand on reviews? Don't care – Your CRACK – Humbled – Embarrassed, etc?
OOE: I’d be lying if I said I never pay attention to review counts. It was like a fricken countdown on my thread when we were close to 10K. I will tell you that I have read EVERY SINGLE ONE. Honestly, I’m completely blown away by the response. Never in a million years would I have thought that this story would have hit the numbers it has. What has been amazing is the heartfelt reviews from people that can relate to the story. The readers that have lost loved ones, that are going through a divorce or have lost parents have touched my heart and made me cry on more than one occasion.
JO: Wow, that's seriously sweet (and sad). I still can't get over how heartfelt and realistic the struggles in HOFY are. It's made me VERY appreciative of what I have on more than one occasion. Okay. Fangirl rant over.


JO: Pet peeves in the fandom? God knows there's PLENTY of dramz!
OOE: I have several. My biggest pet peeve is authors that bash other authors on public forums. The snark is absolutely uncalled for and just plain mean. I’ve seen authors drop out of the fandom because of nastiness. I’ve been subject to attacks myself, and can say that it hurts even when we put on a brave face and say that it doesn’t. People that hide behind the anonymity of the internet are cowards. It just bothers me that people can get so nasty because you didn’t take the story in the direction they would have. I can take criticism like the next person but getting out the pitchforks and stirring others to do the same is wrong.

My next pet peeve is under age readers reading M rated fics. I tend to check profile pages before I respond to PM’s or questions in reviews and when I find out that a 13 year old has been reading, I see red. I have teenagers and there is no way that I would allow them anywhere near fanfic. So, being the mama bear that I am, I usually find the need to parent them in my reply, which sometimes doesn’t go over well. Usually if they are mature enough to respond in a polite way and can hold a mature conversation/debate I’ll look the other way, but more often then not, they throw a tantrum. *sigh*
(JO: RAWR, Momma Bear!)

Last is the set in stone characteristics of characters that have been set by the fandom. This is fanfiction and people need to go into the story with an open mind. Not all stories will write Alice as a shop-a-holic, Emmett as a dumb jock, Bella as clumsy, Tanya as a bitch, etc… Be open to other possibilities. I haven’t started reading Trust in Advertising yet (its at the top of the long list that I have to read), but from what I hear she has Jane as a love interest…*after the shock*…fracking brilliant idea. I do believe she’s still a bitch in the story though. Hehe.

Anyway, my point is, don’t complain to an author if they write a character in a different light then you have read them in fics in the past. This is fanfiction and we work with the characters that we have, bending them to fit the needs of OUR story. I truly believe that if I would have written Tanya as Angela I wouldn’t have gotten half of the hate that I have gotten from the readers. Even though Tanya was not hostile in the Twilight series the fandom has made her out to be a royal bitch, which is hard to overcome the bias when you want her to be looked at as a good person. So be open with every story that you read.

JO: I have to agree with all three of these answers. Wow. The more I get to know you, the more I think we share a brain.



JO: How did the whole Ben thing start? (I totally missed that train BTW...as I miss most trains).
OOE: Ben, Ben, Benji (Benjamin Godfre - google him)*sigh*…that was all Bri. I was just along for the ride like everyone else. Someone (probably MasenCullen) posted his pic on my thread and then we couldn’t get enough of him so he kinda became our mascot. He’s Bri’s Edward, but he was too young to be HOFY Edward. That didn’t stop us from looking at his beautiful mug everyday. He’s definitely my Bikerward for Devil’s Angel.
JO: Sweeeet!!! Bikerward FTW!


JO: Do you outline? What's your poison as far as writing technique? Any advice for aspiring fic-writers?
OOE: Yes, I outline. I couldn’t function without one. I have a character outline and then I do a chapter by chapter outline too. As I write the story I plug into the outline things that may arise that needs to be resolved later in the story so I don’t forget. I leave the outline vague enough for changes but detailed enough so that if I start to feel blocked I can get past it fairly quickly. Angst is really hard for me to get through and if I didn’t have an outline I would just stare at the screen for hours, procrastinating the inevitable. I also receive some great ideas from reviewers that get plugged into the outline for possible use later.

Advice? Who am I to give advice to anyone? Seriously? I barely graduated high school and had to ask you what you meant by writing techniques because I thought it was something that I missed out on in English class and should have known about. LOL My number one advice to anyone that asks is to get a beta! Not just any beta, but an awesome one that you work well with and will tell you like it is. I’d rather hear my beta say…this sucks…then get it from 100 reviewers. *taps chin in thought* I sure hope Jo is going to beta my responses before they go up. Bri and Kathy will cringe if she doesn’t.

JO: Of course I will! ;P – Oh, and BTW, I barely graduated myself. Actually, I technically didn't graduate... I got kicked out for attendance issues and got my GED instead. Wow. I can't believe I just admitted that. I might have to take this down later.



JO: Any vices while you write?
OOE: Hmmm. Chocolate chip cookies, but really, those are an all day vice, not just when I’m writing. Actually, no. I need silence and I have writers ADD and get distracted when my emails pop up or a tweet comes in so I have to close everything and threaten my kids to leave me alone or I get too distracted.


JO: How do you keep up with the fandom? Do you find it crazy hard, or is it easy because it's fun?
OOE: I’m always the clueless one that doesn’t know what is going on until whatever it is, is over. Sometimes that’s a good thing. ;) I originally tried to keep up with the threads of stories that I read, but I eventually gave that up because it was taking too much time. I eventually just stuck to my own thread, along with the occasional pop-in to my fic-wife’s thread (Muggleinlove). Twitter is too addicting, so I’m now only posting updates to what I’m doing instead of trying to keep up with the chat end of it. Occasionally I’ll join a discussion but for the most part I’ve stepped back.


JO: Have you (and the peen) enjoyed what I like to call, 'The Twilight Effect'?
MULTIPLE CHOICE:

  • A) Twilight sparked teh randy in me and I've had to start attending SA (Sex-addicts Anonymous) meetings cuz the peen can't keep up anymore.
  • B) Sure, Twilight & fanfic in general has increased my libido and we are having so much fun riding the wave.
  • C) I've ALWAYS had a healthy sex life. Fic just makes it even better.
  • D) I just like to perv it up online. No change in the personal life though.
  • E) Actually, I am asexual. (Har, har)

OOE: Answer: (A) YEP! This choice would be me. My poor peen doesn’t know what to think of all this crazy fanfic stuff. But he definitely reaps the benefits.
JO: Yeah. Imma hoor too. *giggles*



JO: What is your ULTIMATE FIC? When your scouring for fic, or perusing, or whatev... what stops you dead in your tracks and MAKES you read it? (aside from obvious pimpage?)
OOE: Obvious pimpage. LOL. I clickety click on the shiny banners. No seriously, I’m in search of a good fic with the right amount of angst that leaves me on the edge of my seat. No wussperv here, *winks at Nina and Bri*. It needs to have smut but not over the top unnecessary smut. I like my fics to have a real life element to it. I will get instantly turned off if I read something and think “This would never happen” or “This character is an idiot and makes ridiculous decisions that no normal human would make”. I like fluff but not through the whole story (meh…blows kisses to MIL). There needs to be a good conflict (misunderstanding is NOT conflict) that drives me to continue to read. I also prefer older Bella and Edward for obvious reasons. I just feel too pervy lusting after 17 year old Edward. There is my perfect fic…Now where is it?
JO: I'll get right on that bb! *jots down notes*


JO: And of course.... what are you up to now that HOFY is done? (I know the answer, but I'll let you tell em the FUCKTASTIC NEWS!)
OOE: DEVIL’S ANGEL! This was a one-shot that I wrote for the Sexy Edward contest back in August of 08 that has gotten under my skin. It’s still on my profile page along with an outtake (more like a before-take) of the story. Edward is pretty messed up and I wanted to explore why he was the way he was. It’s going to be something different that I haven’t seen in too many fics. I’ll tell you that it’s a mystery/romance and I hope that I can pull it off. It will be COMPLETELY different from HOFY so no fluffy resolutions will be immediate. Honestly, it scares the crap out of me. I’m currently working on the outline so it won’t be out until sometime in the fall.
JO: Pssst. Here's the one-shot. It's fuckhot, and if you haven't read it yet, well? GO! READ!




Fandom questions for OOE:

From twilier24-7:

What is your favorite way to have sex?
OOE: OMG! Pervy, pervy girl. Go read Benji’s interview in the meat locker and you have mine too. *swoon* Mah peen is really good at the back nibbling.
JO: *eyes OOE* You said 'back nibbling'. Great. Now I'm randy again.



From Daddyzlilgurl:

What was the hardest part/or chapter for you to create and or write for "Holding Out for You?"
OOE: Usually it’s the angst that’s the hardest for me to write. However, the angstiest chapters (Chapters 29,30,31,47,48) were the easiest because I had been picturing them since the beginning of the story. The most difficult chapter to write was the epi. For several reasons. First…everyone wanted the happy ending and a lot of people wanted the BxE fairytale ending (wedding, babies, white picket fence) which they got all of that, but not in a direct way that some were expecting. I knew that some would be disappointed in that. The story was about so much more than BxE’s relationship. It truly turned into a story about family and the potholes and set backs that happen when awful things are thrown at you. It seemed fitting to show where the family had come from, through a different characters POV. So, finding that characters voice was pretty difficult. Plus I wanted to be sneaky and fake y’all out a bit. Then it was difficult to wrap it all up so that I was satisfied with the closure.



Questions for both OOE and JO:


Do you have any tattoos?

OOE: Nope. But my husband does. *wink*
JO: Mine too! He has two, but we don't talk about the one. *coughRatSmokingABluntcough* Yeah, that was an, "I'm18 and waay too drunk to be making this decision, but doing it anyway, kind of thing." -- needless to say, that bitch is getting covered up (soon I hope).

I unfortch, have no ink yet, but I am planning one in the next couple weeks to honor my Mom who is battling breast cancer right now. (Still open to suggestions!) My mom & sis are supposed to get ones too (to match), but we'll see if they go through with it.



Favorite ff ever?

OOE: At this moment I would have to say that AH would be The Office by tby789. For AU Sacrifices by Enthralled.
JO: Christ! I suck at these questions. It's like the F/M/K's on Twitter... I just can't do it. There are so freaking many. Umm.... can I just say HOFY? Cuz that's defs one of them. Oh! And ALE (A Life Extraordinary by Lolashoes. I heart her – and her iPod - in scary and possibly illegal ways.)
OOE: Mmmm, I just started reading Let Your Light Shine by LolaShoes and love it as well. I will say that so far, it’s what I wished was in Breaking Dawn when we got the fade to black scene.
JO: I seriously don't think Lo is capable of writing anything other than pure gold. (I've got it baaad for her)


Hardest part about writing ff?

OOE: The beginning of ever single chapter. *sigh* Getting started and recapping the last chapter without being redundant.
JO: Geez. I wish I could relate. I have yet to POST a second chapter, so recapping & redundancy is SO not an issue for me yet. I'd have to say, actually getting past the plotting stage of a big story. THAT's my current challenge.


Do people in RL know you do it?

OOE: Do what? Is that a question similar to if your kids know you “do it”? I do have kids so of course people know I do it. Meh…
Ohhhhhh….you mean write. Nope. My husband, mom and MIL know I write but I’m anonymous for a reason.

JO: Some do (Close family and friends) but I keep it on the DL mostly.



If I looked under your bed right now what would I find?

OOE: A locked gun case and some dust bunnies. The locked toy box is in the closet in case you are wondering.
JO: Haha. I'd say damn, but our locked gun cases (yes, plural) are on the high shelf in the WIC. We have a lot of shotguns. The hubs likes to hunt, and I like to shoot skeet (I'm really good!). Under the bed? Hmm... hopefully nothing more than dust. There might be an empty soda bottle that rolled under there and I was too lazy to fish out. Yeah, the toys are in the nightstand. *wink*


For those of you that use 'toys', which is your favorite?

OOE: This is funny because while I was at ComicCon last week my roommates, another friend and I made a trip to the sex shop there in San Diego. I picked up a gnarly little rabbit that I adore. In Library Rendezvous’ last chapter I think I have the same one Bella had. Edward said it had a “critter” attached to it. LOL.
JO: Mr. Hitachi! Yes. My wand is my best friend. Christmas present from the hubs. (Again, can't believe I'm admitting this, but don't EVER drink and vibe with one of these ppl. Seriously, it's DANGEROUS! And the Magic Wand needs some kind of safety shut-off heat-sink thingy (like a hair dryer) cuz those bitches get HOT! I have the 2nd degree burn scars to prove it. Thank GOD they're not on the ladybits.)


Do you currently have more than 1 sex partner?

OOE: Um...no.
JO: Ditto that. Though, I've got my freebie that I'm always holding out hope for.



OOE's questions for JO:

OOE: What made you want to start writing fanfic? Why smutty one-shots? Do you have anything planned for the future?
JO: Well... I had stumbled across fanfic in my typical Twilight obsession. When I realized the breadth of the fandom and made my way over to Twilighted, I became introduced to the contests that run all the time. I've always loved to write, spending many nights awake and scribbling what have you for no one in particular to ever read. When I saw the Cullen Christmas Contest thread, I immediately had a crazy idea for a one-shot, so I put myself out there asking for a partner... and so was my first journey into authoring fanfic. I look back on that one now and cringe. It's really, REALLY smutty.

As for the future... I've got 4 major stories plotted out right now that I'm trying to get enough written of, and enough courage for, to start posting. Each one I think is unique in it's own way, and I'm REALLY excited about them. Trouble is, each time I try to sit and continue writing one of them, I seem to always come up with ANOTHER story. I have about 13 story ideas that I've jotted down in the midst of my major ones. I REALLY need to stop doing that.

OOE: I had the awesome opportunity to look at a couple of Jo’s outlines and they ROCK! Now everyone bombard her with PM’s begging for her to get to writing because they are THAT good.


OOE: What got you started writing fic? Did you write before fanfic? Lifelong passion or new obsession?
JO: I've always considered myself a writer (in some capacity), though I've never actually tried fiction before. I've always written poetry, song lyrics, personal experiences, or sometimes debate pieces on topics I feel passionately about. Before fanfiction, I had no idea how utterly satisfying fiction could be, and how endless the possibilities. Now I've got the bug, and I don't think I'll ever stop. So in some ways, it's a lifelong passion, but fiction is definitely a new obsession.



OOE: What inspires your story ideas? You have several ideas hidden away so do you have plans to share them with us?
Prisonward!JO: Surprisingly enough, two of the stories that I'm currently working on (and stoked about) were inspired simply by a picture/photo. One was inspired by a very benign picture of books, while the other was inspired by this picture of Rob from The Haunted Airman.
Another came to me the first night my family and I went camping, while I was laying on a top bunk in a dirty cabin in the woods, taking in my surroundings, and praying that there were no bugs crawling on me. That one was tough because I was falling asleep and I had to will my mind to remember what I was thinking about when I woke up the next day.
My baby, the one I will probably post first, was inspired by reading a couple period pieces that I felt were lacking in one way or another. (NOTE: None of these were Age of Edward entries, this was before the contest). Anyway, I felt that it could be done much better, so I decided to write one myself and I'm VERY glad, because I'm pretty damn happy with it so far.

I absolutely can not WAIT to share my stories. Time management (as many who know me) is a bit of an issue for me, so I'm really nervous to start posting anything that isn't VERY ready. The stories I have cooking I'm very excited to share though.

OOE: Buy a Franklin planner and get to writing! I’m seriously going to keep bugging you until you do.


OOE: What is your favorite type of Edward? Darkward? Daddyward? Whoreward? Etc…(no kissing ass and saying HOFYward) and why?
JO: Well, of course, I gotta go with Darkward. He's my dirty, dirty passion (“Feel dirty about it... feel like it's wrong.”). Funny enough, I haven't really come up with a good Darkward story of my own yet. Bonne Foi, UNGH, be still my heart. There are really a fuckton of AWESOME Darkward's out there (as well as some nasty brain-bleach necessitating ones), but the great ones just make me melt and TWITCH. I've really got to get back to updating the Darkward blog... lots of new ones to post up there and to read as well! I'm looking forward to starting The Blessing and the Curse. People are going just fuckcrazy for that one, and it's AH so that'll be a first for me as far as Darkwards go. But I've pretty thoroughly enjoyed every single one that I list on The Darkward Dungeon blog.

I gotta say though, that next on my faves list has got to be Daddy-Docward! (esp. HOFYward!) Domward's pretty high on my list too, but most people just can't write it good enough, or you get involved in some fics that you just wish you hadn't... and me, being the masochist that I am, will keep reading, even when I'm squicked. I don't know why I do it. I like to punish myself.




OOE: What is your biggest pet peeve in the fandom?
JO: Hmm. Well, there is plenty to complain about, natch, but I do NOT like drama. Period. I'm a lover, not a hater, and so when drama gets stirred up in the fandom, I generally tend to feel a bit outcast because I refuse to feed the flames. I will say this though.... I HATE FIC THIEVES. Plagiarists. Those posting other people's stories without their knowledge and trying to pass them off as their own. Until recently, I had no idea how ridiculously prevalent this problem is (I boycott scribd.com and urge all authors to search for their own stories on there. It'd RIDICK), and I will NOT hesitate to leave a comment or report someone for it. It's just plain WRONG and I don't understand why people do it. I mean, really, what the hell do they get out of it? False appreciation & love? I just don't get it.
OOE: Ditto on that too.


OOE: What’s holding you back from writing a chapter fic?
JO: I'm not scerred, really I'm not! I'm actually REALLY looking forward to it.
I guess what's been holding me back is the desire to NOT disappoint. I mean that in regards to updating. It bothers me when authors write something awesome, and then take 2+ months to update each chapter, or simply stop writing a story before it's finished. I don't fault them, because these things happen, but it... kinda sucks, yanno? I certainly don't want to do that to anyone who might enjoy my writing, so my goal is to be at LEAST 3 chapters deep (completed) before posting the first. As I said before, my time management is seriously lacking, so to avoid disappointing anyone, I want to be a prepared as possible. As of right now, I've got one with a prologue and some scenes written, chapters plotted, and overall story plot complete. Now I just need to get those THREE chapters finished so I can feel comfortable about posting the prologue and getting the show started.



OOE: Any vices while you write?
JO: Coffee and cigarettes (yes, I smoke, and yes, I know it is bad for my health.) Someday I'll quit, but my fragile, anxiety riddled brain just can't handle that scenario right now. Plus, I think my family would murder me in my sleep with the obscene amount of BITCH I become without nicotine.


OOE: How do you keep up with the fandom? Really…is it important to know everything that’s going on?
JO: Umm... I'd say POORLY. I have MAJOR internet ADD, and I find it difficult to keep up with everything that's going on. Is that important? Well, yes and no. There's always going to be fics I miss out on, or contests, or Twi-happenings, or whatev. That stuff is no biggie. I mean, the fandom is HUGE. There's no way ANYONE can keep up with it all (except Ninapolitan because she has special sooperpowers... I'm convinced) My struggle pertains more to things I've committed to (like this interview). My ADD & real life always gets in the way of me keeping up with things that I'm involved in, and I really hate that about myself.



OOE: OOE: Have you (and the peen) enjoyed what YOU called, 'The Twilight Effect'?
MULTIPLE CHOICE:

  • A) Twilight sparked teh randy in me and I've had to start attending SA (Sex-addicts Anonymous) meetings cuz the peen can't keep up anymore.
  • B) Sure, Twilight & fanfic in general has increased my libido and we are having so much fun riding the wave.
  • C) I've ALWAYS had a healthy sex life. Fic just makes it even better.
  • D) I just like to perv it up online. No change in the personal life though.
  • E) Actually, I am asexual. (Har, har)

JO: Oh HALE Yes. (A) all the way! We went through plenty of dry spells over the years... and then, like some kind of wicked-awesome voodoo magic, I turned 30, read Twilight, and now I'm a fucking nympho. Sometimes it's almost uncontrollable, like last night... hehehe.


OOE: What is your ULTIMATE fic?
JO: Damn. I knew I shouldn't have asked this question. There are so many damn ways to respond. I'm pretty eclectic when it comes to fic (just as I am with music). I'm open to all kinds of stories and scenarios... so plot content really doesn't apply to my requirements. 1st requirement would have to be writing ability (dur). There are some writers on here who just blow my fucking mind, and when I read their stories, I swear they could be writing the most objectionable material, and I would still salivate for it. But that's a pretty ambiguious requirement, so to get more technical, I'd say “What you said.” LOL.

But seriously, you pulled it right out of my head... it's all about the balance. I too am no wussperv either, so bring on the angst, and the REAL conflict, and the profound conundrums, and make it lemonicious, but realistically (though I can attest that I have NO objections to gratuitous lemons, and ALE is an example of how it can be done RIGHT.) I just want something that makes me think, makes me feel, makes me connect emotionally (and physically) to the characters, and makes me say, DAMN, I wish this was real (or glad this isn't real – if it's tragic). Kind of a lame-o answer... sorry.

OOE: No such thing as lame-o answers.



OOE: What drove you write an Emmett/Bella pairing?
JO: Well. I'd say, I did it for QJMom, but I didn't find out about her obsession until after I started it. I needed to come up with something a little “out there” for Nina's Friday Free For All. Something deviant and pervalicious, so I started thinking, “What don't I normally see in a fic?” At the time, I don't think I had read a single fic that paired these two, and when I thought of it, I came up with the perfect scenario to make it nice 'n' dirty (just the way I like it). Et viola. Emmett & Bella in the woods with the scent-lock camo-gear.
OOE: Hehe! Loved it and even though the pairing sounds odd, it works really well! I keep begging Muggleinlove to write me that damn Edward/Angela lemon from Taking Chances. I got impatient and wrote my own, but hers would be cotton candy sweet and I want it, like yesterday!
JO: OMG, Edward/Angela lemon you say? Sugary cotton candy sweet indeed! (what's MIL's gchat again? I need to harrass her.)


OOE: Favorite guilty pleasure? Anything from TV to food to whatever.
JO: Frog-eye salad. Sounds gross right? TRUST. It's fucking awesome. I don't use the traditional recipe though. Here's the one I use. (minus the cherries). I seriously can only make this stuff once in a blue moon, because I can (and I will) stand alone at the kitchen counter and consume all 16 servings of this delicious food from heaven in one sitting. I don't even realize I'm doing it until it's gone. Seriously, it like, puts me under a spell or something.
OOE: OMG! I just fell a little more in love with you Jo! I LOVE FROG EYE SALAD! I can already see Kathy gagging on that answer but…*shrugs* My kids actually thought it was frog eyes for the longest time.


OOE: *giggle* Favorite non penetration sexual fetish?
JO: Oh, Geez! Are blowjobs out? I guess they are, that's kinda penetration huh? Damn, those are my faves. Ummm.... *scratches temple* Okay! Got it. I'd have to say (and this is a new discovery for me), but I really love having the twins slapped. Yes, titty slapping. It fucking hurts, but turns me on so fucking badly. We've ventured *lightly* into some D/s stuff, and he did that one night, and I was like, “Oh! Do it again!” Seriously, if you can take it, it's totally fab.
OOE: I’m going to insert in here that a flogger will do a nice job at getting the sting in there too. Just saying.
JO: Oh JosDaaaaddddy! I need the credit card so I can go shopping for some uhh..... new things.


OOE: Do people in real life know that you are a pervy bitch that promotes porn? *giggle*
JO: mm... yes and no. It's kind of like, my dirty little secret, that everyone kind of already knows about me. My family and closest friends know. And I get lectured A LOT on my internet addiction. (They just don't understand).

I do have the most EMBARRASSING story, thanks to my husband, about it. We went to a little get together (nothing formal, just @ a friends for food and drinky) and I had a printed fic with me that I was reading. While I was in the other room, my husband proceeded to start reading the LEMON out loud to the entire room. I was so unbelievably mortified I almost cried. He was soooo in the dog house that night (but he did apologize and said he hadn't thought it would embarrass me so much. He's a lot more accepting of my obsession than he let's on).




OOE: How did you get involved in the Perv pack?
JO: Hee hee. I made a funny banner and declared myself a Nina-worshipper on Twilighted. No. Serious. Her posts on the boards just had me in fucking stitches all the time, and I couldn't help myself from fangirling all over her. LOL. She was awesome to me, and after some fun banter between us, she spoke with the gals, and I got an invite into the PP when it was being formed. Needless to say, I'm fucking ecstatic to have these awesome bitches as friends.


OOE: Give us a list of the five most used items in your toy box?
JO: *Chokes* I should really be ashamed. My toy collection is seriously lacking and totes not on par with what a proud PP member's should be. But honestly, it's because most of my collection has DIED and I just haven't splurged on replacements yet. So, at the moment, I own TWO working toys *cries*, so yeah, they see ALL the work. Mr. Hitachi, and some unnamed blue number that I don't even remember buying. Yeah, the collection needs some serious updating.
OOE: In no particular order (that’s like picking your favorite kid) -- Rabbit that was mentioned previously; Bullet; Candle wax that turns into massage oil….Thank you tarasueme; Pjur; Latex flogger.
JO: Damn, how'd you get hold of my shopping list?



MEET THE PEENS!


So, while in the chatroom for the HOFY wrap party, Jo got to meet OOE'sPeen. Helluva guy... and a gracious flirt. ;) We got the idea then of getting the boys in on this interview to see what they had to say. Well, without further ado, please welcome The PEEN!

Jo's Peen AKA JosDaddy --- Man of few words, so bear with us here.
OOE's Peen AKA Mr.OOE --- Ditto on the man of many words. I think that Bikerward will be the spitting image of my peen in that he doesn’t say much unless it’s required. *sigh*

Our questions for the boys! (More like OOE's questions. She rocks.)

How does it feel to be a TwiWidower?

JosDaddy: Uhh... What the hell is a TwiWidower? JO explains. Oh, well... it kind of sucks, but the sex got better.

Mr.OOE: I don’t see myself as a TwiWidower. I didn’t lose OOE, it’s just a phase in our life. My wife has finally found a way of expressing herself and I think that’s great.
OOE: Awww, he’s so dang supportive it’s almost a crime.


How have you benefited from your wife reading/writing Twific?

JosDaddy: Hmmm.... she's well... more adventurous. Though, she was adventurous before, but it's even better now.

Mr.OOE: Sex 2-3 times a day. She’s more vocal in what she wants and it’s hot when she explains what’s happening in her narrative voice.
OOE: I’m good but not that good. The ladybits would be sore after that. Let’s just say that daily with a splash of multiples is probably a better description.
Narrative voice, huh? Like…she placed her hands on his thighs as she slowly slid them up until her fingers ghosted over his swollen…...

Mr.OOE: Yep…Just like that.


How have you suffered through your wife reading/writing Twific?

JosDaddy: Nothing gets done. Nothing... without me complaining and yelling for her to do it. I cannot extract the computer from her lap, it's become a permanent attachment.

Mr.OOE: I don’t really see the bad parts.
OOE: He’s got some serious blinders on. My living room looks like a tornado came through and hit it because I’ve been reading my gift exchange and ignoring my kids all day. *sigh* However, the kitchen’s clean…that’s why I had kids, they’re good little workers.
JO: *sigh* I can't wait till Emma is tall enough to reach the top cabinets.... that's when she learns how to empty a dishwasher.


What was your real opinion on the Twilight movie?

JosDaddy: *Contemplates* It could have been better. It needed more action, and the effects pretty much sucked.

Mr.OOE: It was okay. It’s not a movie I would see more than once. Not impressed with the directing, the acting was okay. I really went to watch the obsessed fans, AKA my wife and daughter.


Does it bother you that your wife spends countless hours in front of a computer screen?

JosDaddy: *no hesitation* Yes.
JO: Pshhaw. Ask him how much he fishes.

Mr.OOE: No. *shrugs* It’s a hobby, she spent hours doing other crafty stuff before, so there isn’t much of a difference. She just switched her obsession. Now if only she could make a few dollars off it.
JO: Okay, Mr.OOE & JosDaddy REALLY need to get together.


What is the one thing that you want your wife to do that she stopped doing since her obsession took over?

JosDaddy: Play with her daughter more.
JO: I play with my daughter PLENTY, TYVM.

Mr.OOE: Cook.
OOE: Ain’t going to happen, babe! I hate to cook.


How has your sex life changed since Twilighted came into your world?

JosDaddy: Hahaha. It became fucking awesome. It is “EPIC WIN”. *laughs & air quotes*
JO: HA. You're totally mocking my internet speak, douche.

Mr.OOE: Absolutely agree with JosDaddy.
OOE: That’s cheating and you’re not allowed to steal answers from JosDaddy again.
JO: Wait. So you're mocking my internet speak too? WTF?? ;)


Do you read any fanfic and if so what are you reading?

JosDaddy: Not really... She's made me read a couple though.
JO: He read Die To Self & most of The Submissive
JosDaddy: Yeah, those ones. They were pretty hot. She likes me to read so I get more ideas for her in bed. See? I'm just used. But, I'm not complaining. I like it better when she reads them to me.
JO: I can attest that after he read DTS, I had one of the most memorable afternoons of my life. He fucking GROWLED the whole time. It was the most insanely erotic thing he's EVER done. I still need to record him doing that for the PP girls. It's fuckawesome and makes me tingly

Mr.OOE: The Office and The Submissive
OOE: That’s it? Did you like them?
Mr.OOE: Yes.
OOE: *huge fricken sigh* It’s like pulling teeth here. What parts did you like?
Mr.OOE: The Office – the LaPerla chapter and I’m only on chapter 8 of The Submissive so I’ll let you know later.
OOE: *sigh* LaPerla is my favorite chapter too. There’s just something about mirrors and….
JO: NOTE TO SELF: Have JosDaddy read The Office.


Have you read anything your wife has written and if so what do you think of it? (remember, the couch is available for the evening)

JosDaddy: Yes, I've read what she writes, and I really think it showcases her brilliant fucking brain. In addition, it makes me really hot to know that this shit comes out of her head and her lemons just make me want to fuck the shit out of her.
JO: Aww...lover! C'mere you sexy mofo.

Mr.OOE: I’ve read all of her one-shots, even the ones not posted on her profile and most of LOTK and HOFY after chapter 28. I’m amazed at her newfound talent and her ability to develop characters as she does. The more she writes the better it gets. I’m captivated and pulled into her stories and it was a complete surprise that she had that talent.
OOE: Awwwww. How sweet is he. Complete surprise to me too, babe.
JO: We are seriously lucky bitches.


Anything NEW and interesting introduced in the bedroom since Twific came into your lives?

JosDaddy: Umm.... Yes.
JO: That's it?
JosDaddy: You didn't ask me to elaborate.
JO: *rolls eyes*
JosDaddy: Okay....well, let's see. Um... Growling. Spanking. And you've definitely found a new appreciation for putting my cock in your mouth. Haha... skittle juice.
OOE: What is this fuckery? Skittle juice?
JO: *laughs & fans self* C'mon OOE, you can't deny you like that yummy stuff. And did he just talk about putting his cock in my mouth? *fans self faster* Damn I do love the BJs.

Mr.OOE: oh yeaaaaah.
OOE: Elaborate please
Mr.OOE: Do I have too?
OOE: No, but the peeps wanna know.
Mr.OOE: Many new positions that were taboo before and newfound toys.
OOE: *sigh* Is that all you’re giving us?
Mr.OOE: That is all.



Welp! That was a TON of FUN! Hope you enjoyed our little Q&A! Be sure to send in your questions for your fave upcoming authors & PP girls!

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