Renfield and Chiclets by katinki

Renfield and Chiclets

katinki

10

52,033

332

Edward Cullen, PhD: brilliant, nerdy, mildly attractive, and obsessed with Blood and Vampires. Oh, and pervertedly horny. Join him as he searches for Ms. Right in a series of inter-related smut, erm I mean, one shots. AH/Severely OOC/Very M

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theladyingrey42

Renfield and Chiclets is one of those rare fics that manages to hit every possible note for me. It has an Edward whose isolation and lonely past kick me in the gut repeatedly, and yet whose lust and kinks practically make me salivate. It features a Bella that is strong and sexually confident to the point of aggressive. It has real emotion churning beneath a plot that at first seems to be all about lust and kink.

And, oh yeah, it is easily the most unabashedly, deliciously pervy thing I have had the pleasure of reading in ages.

The story, which katinki refers to as "a series of related one-shots," revolves around a brilliant if socially isolated Edward. And while that may sound like the biggest cliché in the fandom, katinki takes it to a whole new level. As I read I can actually feel his removal from a world that doesn't make sense to him and which he chooses to refrain from interacting with in any sort of meaningful way. He's the kind of man who knows his strengths and his weaknesses, and has long since moved past the fact that he is socially inept. His knowledge of his own ineptness is so ingrained that he mentions it almost casually, in passing, as if it is a given that he will be unsuccessful in any social interaction he might undertake. After giving an even-handed listing of his finer qualities, he goes on to dismiss all of them with the simple statement that, "none of this helped get him laid because the moment he opened his mouth, the probability of sexual success plummeted. For some reason, women did not seem to appreciate his lectures on biochemistry."

When we meet him, Edward is the star employee of a biomedical pharmaceutical company, performing delicate experiments on blood-born pathogens. Rather than a simpering assistant or co-ed, Bella is his ball-busting boss who sashays into work in outfits that send him out of his mind with lust. His descriptions of his afternoon, um, self-indulgences make me giggle and pine right along with him.

As if Edward isn't adorable enough with his self-deprecation and isolation and self-love, he is also a gigantic perv, which is where this story really starts to step into a class of its own. Although he tries to hide it, it is well-known around the office that Edward is completely obsessed with vampires. He follows all of the major fictional vampires and has a "massive stash of vampire erotica" that he uses to fuel his many fantasies, and even some of his past sexual escapades.

When Edward and Bella finally come together, these vampire-fueled fantasies feature prominently. As Edward begins to realize that Bella is just as kinky as he is, an elicit nature enters into their coupling, leading to charged encounters and fuck-hot lemons that just manage to press all the right buttons for me. Usually, I'm pretty easily squicked out by bloodplay, but somehow or other katinki manages to make it hot hot hot in this story and I was finding myself ogling my husband's pulse point by the end of this one.

At the time that I am writing this, there are ten chapters, each of which includes one hell of a lemon, and yet so far katinki still manages to keep the smut sexy and pervy and fresh. We see everything from light bondage to the aforementioned inexplicably delicious bloodplay to just plain old possessive claiming and fucking.

Tying together all the lemons is a growing relationship that is all about shared physicality and lust at first but which evolves into a level of connection and trust and possession between the two of them. Edward's continuing insecurity regarding the hold he has over her is a source of constant sighs and 'aw's on my part, and her reassurances just fuel them to even pervier, lustier heights.

And as if that weren't enough, there's a snide and sarcastic humor to it, especially in some of the more farcical situations they find themselves in and in Edward's hyper-intelligent, self-deprecating narration.

Suffice it to say that I have been enjoying this fic immensely. It's sexy and fun and yet has something a little deeper to it as well, with incredibly memorable scenes and characters. I'm always delighted to see it in my box, and yet the loose "series of one-shots" plot keeps me from freaking out when there's a bit of a lag between updates.

On the whole, I give it 4.5 out of 5 kinky band-aids.

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I really really like this story. Initially I really wasn't sure if I would or not. I do think that early chapters do read like unrelated, unconnected sexy encounters. BUT - they are still bloody hot. This is a fun story - do not expect lots of life altering realisations and for you as the reader to go on your own journey of self-improvement and discovery. What Renfield & Chiclets will give you instead - is a pacey, sexy story with 2 protagonists who are on the outskirts of society who are giving one another a jolly good time.

They are going on their own journey - exploring their kinks, their passion and their growing dependency on one another. It is obvious that these two can offer each other a lot! A lot that the rest of society cannot. Plenty sexual. But also plenty of acceptance, they get one another, whether it be Edward's social hesitance or Bella's professional ball-breaking - they love one another kinks, anxieties, persuasions, and vulnerabilities.

There is LOTS of sex in this story. To me its a sexy story. Edward is not ashamed of the things that turn him on. But he is surprised that his sharp seductress of a boss shares his love for blood play, biting, rough sex, role-play and toys. He revels in it. It allows him to fully embrace that side of him that he hid and believed he could never fully indulge.

I also love how Edward views Bella. He respects and gets off on her work place superiority, dominance, power and aggression. He worships her clever mind, her quick wits and her appreciation and understanding of science. Additionally he worships her body. His narrative of her body makes us the reader picture her as ripe and luscious. A juicy peach, with velvety skin, just ripe for the plucking, biting and fucking. In my eyes that makes for a delicious read. You feel how much he adores and respects her - whilst still viewing her as the ultimate sexual creature. Bella empowers him to shake off his social withdrawal and shyness, and instead take charge. But they switch things up a fair bit too. This relationship is not just on his terms. Bella is demanding in her search for the decadent release that only KinkWard can delight her with.

4 Neon Band-Aid covered love bites out of 5 from me.


Not gonna lie, when this first came into the Naughty Librarian I was all "What The Fuck is this Shit?". But I read and realized it's actually kinda brilliant. Yeah, I said Brilliant, deal. Like my cohorts I agree this is not just "a series of related one-shots," it's a love story with a kinky side.

Katinki unabashedly goes there with this story. I think that's what I love the most. Edward and Bella both have darker proclivities and are not embarrassed by them (well, maybe a little in public). There isn't some trauma in their pasts, they aren't victims, and they don't have some deep seeded neurosis. They're just fucking kinky, plain and simple.

They are evenly matched in the kink department too. This isn't one person having aberrant leanings and taking the other with them. They are equally in this together. Not to mislead, it's not like there are whips and chains and cuffs and goblets of blood. There isn't heavy or even mild BDSM or massive bloodplay. They just like it a little bit rougher than the average couple and to have a little lick or suck from a love bite.

The other thing I really like, is that even though these two got at like fucking rabbits (Yay!) there is still a sense of UST, of longing and need between them. It's not just physical, it's not just because the other accepts and embraces their kink (Yay, for that btw), it's deeper than that. There's understanding outside of the proclivities, there's dare I say it love. And given what they do with each other, a pure love.

Also it's funny, no really it is. They are both science geeks, too intelligent for their own good, and not really good with the social interacting. It's Geeks with Kinks! What's not to love about that?

This Bella is strong and confident without coming off as a bitch. But she's also warm and caring and above all understanding and not judgmental. She's kinda perfect. She's also a tease of the highest order. Edward believes she dresses the way she does, professional yet sexy, just to drive him nuts. I kinda believe she does too, hehe.

Okay, I know some of you are gonna get all up in arms of Edward's use of the word "Slut" in reference to Bella. But here's the thing, he doesn't mean it, not really. He has Bella so high up on the perfection pedestal that she's gotta nose bleed from the altitude. Everyman wants a slut in the bedroom, it's a base fantasy of the gender. To me, him using slut is part of their "role play" if you will. She's eager and willing and wants it just as much as he does. She likes it when he calls her that, it's all part of the kink for them.

I'm not gonna get into all the things they get into. What's the fun in that, read it for yourself. But I will share my fav lemon in the story so far. It takes place in the back seat of Edward's Volvo at a rest stop of all places. I know you're thinking, hello skeevy much? Trust me, it's not. It's intimate and loving and shows that it's not just fucking between these two. It's almost sweet, in a sweaty, intense, mind-blowing way.

Le sigh, I love this duo and can't wait to see where Katinki takes them next. Where ever it is, it will be lemony, loving, and all around awesome.

5 out of 5 Neon Band-Aid covered Love Bites and a couple of extra hard thrusts for good measure.


Lets hear it for good old fashion fun! Sometimes you just need a good hard fuck. R&C provides that quite nicely.

This story is different, and it took me a little bit to get into it, but once Edward and Bella had their first encounter (and what an encounter it was), I was sold. One thing that this story accomplishes is allowing it’s protagonists to be comfortable with their sexuality.

Bella is salacious, wanton and sexually charged. I wanted to lick her as soon as Edward described her. While this Edward is shy, reserved on the outside, internally he is a smoldering volcano of sexual power. When these two refreshingly sexually liberal characters get their freak on, my iPhone nearly melted from the fucking hotness.

Warning to the more vanilla reader, this fic does feature some blood play. However, it is approached in a gentle and very realistic manner. I may or may not have some experience in this type of sexual deviance (*tries to look coy*) and I can tell you that it was really nice to see it dealt with so skillfully. It is also so hot, that I may still be rereading certain passages. *bites lip till it bleeds*

If you are looking for some deliciously naughty, humorous and skillfully written smut, than this is the story for you. Make sure you're alone (or with someone who can help with visual demonstrations), get comfortable and enjoy a good hard fuck!

3 out of 5 band-aid covered lovebites


I must first confess: I don't have a real issue with bloodplay. If you do, I would still encourage you to read, as this does NOT dive heavily into fetish bloodplay. Yes, Edward has a kink (most of us do,I think), but it's not a true fetish -- he can, and often does, fuck Bella without the presence of blood. At least, the explicit presence.

We learn so much about Edward in the very first chapter: he likes blood, he wanks a lot, he watches porn, and he's very, very smart. Like most supremely smart people, he's entirely socially inept, by his own admission.

This is a confident, assured Bella. She's been dropping hints at poor Edward for some time, but he's too in his own head to pick up on them. Finally, frustrated, she lays it all on the line at the company Halloween party:

"I want you to fuck me… Lestat," she said with another wink.

More fucking hot, dirty lemons in chapter 2, and I realized that we have no clue about Edward's sexual past. I mean, we can probably safely assume it was limited, because of his social awkwardness, but was he a virgin?! Ah ha, the answer comes (no pun intended) in chapter four.

I love Edward repeating Bella's words in chapter 7, and that's what makes this story really enjoyable for me -- two people, indulging their kinks, in love, and happy together. Yes mother fucking please, and thank you.

My favorite lemon is in chapter 7. Yum, yum, yum.

"Again, Bella. I'm not…stopping…until you come… again," he breathed.

UNG. YES. Thank you. Please.

Ahem. Right, so.

The ending of chapter 8 nearly killed me with a giggle fit. The balance of smut versus giggles is delightful, and I honestly laugh and UNG almost every chapter.

You KNOW you're in for a good time when the chapter begins with, “This chap is a fuckload of smut.” *dreamy sigh* Gee, really? I really “have” to read this as my blog homework? Aw, shucks! The things we do for you...

Wait, wait, wait. My new favorite lemon is in chapter 9. Yes, definitely chapter 9. Well, maybe I need to re-read them. A few times. Then compare. This could take awhile.

Chapter 10 is the Haiti Collab piece/outtake, a delicious look into some time earlier between Bella and Edward.

I love Renfield & Chiclets, not just because of the hot lemons – although that's reason enough to love it – but because even though the author dismisses it as a series of porny connected stories, there *is* more here. Overshare moment, but as someone married to someone kinky, who identifies as kinky as well, SO MUCH of this story resonated with me. I want to find katinki and kiss her. Maybe with a little teeth.

5 out of 5 neon band-aid covered love bites. And a bonus hair pull!


When I hear words like "research," "data," and "peer-reviewed journals," I tend to get all wonky, hot, and bothered. When a story actually uses footnotes for references? Cue the drool. Add a pair of glasses, lab jackets, cell cultures, and my nerdvana is complete. Suffice it to say I really, really liked this scientific Nerdward. UNF x infinity.

But wait, there's more! This Nerdward is also a genius, social nonconformist, eternally horny, has an online porn habit, and a smidge of fetishism. GAH! On top of it all, he lusts after his boss, Dr. Bella Swan, who is one hot, sexually confident mama. My geeky brain almost went into overload with all the scientifically-charged schmexiness.

For the most part, I loved the pairing of this Edward and Bella, because they both saw eye-to-eye in terms of their fetishism and sexual appetites. I loved their sexual chemistry. I loved the fact that Edward wasn't necessarily confident in his ways with women, but somehow, went he paired up with Bella, he was able to become more dominant and commanding. Oh, my, did he ever become dominant, TYVM.

Bella, for her part, tortures Edward daily by wearing the most provocative outfits around. She is brilliant in her own right, able to meet Edward on his level intellectually. She has pierced nipples, which Edward can see through her shirt, and whenever he notices them, he combusts. Before they actually hook up, her attire is the subject of frequent office wanks for Edward, which were win all by themselves.

When they finally, actually have sex, it is hot and explosive. They don't do anything halfway. *fans self* It is hot, rough, feral, and mutually satisfying. Once Edward actually gets it into his head that Dr. Swan not only likes him but wants to sex it up with him constantly, the fun really begins. Their sexual chemistry is magic, almost like they always know what the other partner needs at any given time. Bella starts to use sex to help Edward calm down and relax, and it becomes a drug to him. She manages to show up at just the right moment. As a reader, it was so satisfying to read about a sexual relationship that is truly symbiotic. They are both exactly what the other one needs.

I'm really looking forward to seeing what scientific references Katinki will use next; my favorite part of the story is the footnotes. HA! While I loved the footnotes, I can't wait to see how Bella and Edward continue to get their freak on together. Steamy, smoldering goodness, through and through.

4 out of 5 neon-colored band-aid covered lovebites.


Let's be honest, the summary itself could very easily portray this as a crackfic or at least a comedy but it's not. As tLiG said, the author portrays this as "a series of related one-shots" and that's one of the things I adore about the story. Each chapter can stand alone but together, unf.

It's sexy, steamy and smutty in every way possible and it works perfectly well with the storyline, and yes... there is one.

When they meet, Edward dressed as a very famous lit vampire is enough to make your head explode. Add in the fact that he is obsessed with the lore and the lifestyle surrounding vamps and you've got a frighteningly attractive man. You wouldn't think so right? I mean, I don't dig the goth vibe at all but on him, it works... a lot. To add to his attractiveness - at least to me - is that he's a total perv and completely unapologetic about it. I fucking love that. Embrace the perv, don't hide it.

Bella is his superior and that right there makes me love her to death. On top (snicker) of her being the HBIC, she's sexually agressive and confident and her take no shit attitude just fuels him on even more. The two with their crazy explosive sexual appetites makes this for a great read.

It's not just the smut though, they're perfect for the other. How hard is it to be such total non-conformists and still manage to find your soul-mate. Excellent.

4 out of 5 Neon Band-Aid covered Lovebites from me.


We've all read the Nerd/Geek/Awk-ward before, but probably not anything like this. This Edward is a freak. And I mean that in the best sense of the word. While socially inept with his peers, he is this raging ball of horny just dying to come (hehe) out and play. I'm talking, run to the bathroom rub one out before he creams his pants kind of horny.

Bella, his superior and sexy as hell fantasy, is just as freaky. Just as much of a raging ball of horny. Edward just doesn't know it at first.

Their first encounter happens during a Halloween party thrown by fellow employee Emmett. Three words: Edward as Lestat. The fun starts there and only gets hotter. I've never really even began to consider how I'd view bloodplay, especially when it was in a non vampire fic. I suppose an excessive amount would probably squick me out. However, I found it really hot. Cleary, if that is not your thing...you probably don't want to read it. But maybe give it a chance. It's nothing excessive.

What seems like just a series of smut shots, turns into a story about sexual discovery. An exploration of all things kinky and hot and rawr. Bella and Edward also delve into deeper feelings than just sex, something that always makes me happy. Through it all, katinki is able to make me laugh, swoon, and sweat. All good things in my book.

3.5 out of 5 band aid covered love bites.


This story had me at science nerdWARD with glasses. The whole rest of the story could have been just him cooped up in his office spewing details of his scientific trials, and I would have been a happy girl. This Edward, like most who are portrayed as scientists, is socially awkward. Scratch that. He is socially reluctant. He not only feels uncomfortable in social situations, he loaths them, mostly because he feels he can't relate to anyone. His personality, so far, leaves me teetering between wanting to hold his hand (which he would immediately wash all traces of with Purell) and pulling the stick out of his ass. This is Edward left to his own devises.

Enter sexy boss lady, Bella. I love a self-assured, sexually aggressive Bella. She is not only that, but she is smart as hell. We discover by the end of chapter 1 that boss lady not only wants to have our boy seven ways to Sunday, but she shares his fascination with vampirism in the boudoir.

The sexual relationship in this story is lascivious. Once they get a taste, sexually and literally, they can't get enough. They are not discerning where things go down (snicker), their first being on a colleague's desk at his home during a Halloween party. Homes, offices, cars, and alley ways are christened along the way. The sex is heated and aggressive and leaves this h00r panting.

Through all the passion, these two like souls find they are in love. I am looking forward to watching this couple navigate their new relationship and their lives.

3 out of 5 Band-Aid covered LoveBites