Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Wusspervs find out "How Dirty Boys Get Clean"

Team Wussperv this team is made up of myself, Nina aka Ninapolitan, Kim aka kimpy0464 & Emmy aka Pippapear. I'm sure you're wondering what the fuck is a wussperv right? A wussperv is someone that is...

A) Tragically canon
B) Loathes angst (in massive doses)
C) Loves smut

How Dirty Boys Get Clean


EB. It's two days before the wedding and Bella has a plan. A two-parter.

I found this fic one day just diving for some sexy vamp VirginWard :) - What? You all know I am a dirty-gertie slaaaaag. Yes this is a before & after the wedding story. But it is NOT a lets build up and practice fic (although I do love them too!). HDBGC is instead their last night together before they become man & wife, and then their honeymoon. So yeah - two pretty big nights for them. :D I think what I love most about this fic (& here my sappyness comes through) is their playful bath time. When Bella watches Edward and see's him playfully mucking about, when she washes him and makes him feel cared for and treasured. It allows for them to reach a new understanding about what being married will mean to them and for them. Which they begin to address in preparation for their big day....

"I cried out softly, something sounding like a whimper, and Edward immediately stopped.

"No. No. That's good," I assured him, my voice quivering, heart pounding. I stroked his cheeks. "That's a good noise."

Against the edge of the tub, looking into his fevered eyes, it hit me: he was naked. I was near naked. And his erection—whatever engorged it, blood, venom, reinforced steel—it was causing heat to pool between my legs. A slow throb began to demand my attention, making me swell too. This was becoming real. And his eyes begged mine for a response.

Stop. Or continue on.

His mouth gravitated toward mine, but our parted lips simply touched. The stifling heat and our mingled breath—cold warmed with hot—was enough as his hands cupped my breasts and squeezed.

Unable to help it, I whimpered again. And without taking my eyes off his, I grabbed one of his hands and pulled it into the water between us, intentionally dragging the rough tips of his fingers down my chest and belly, to the thin elastic band of the white cotton that covered me. Pleasure surged through me. His fingers on me. Near that heat. And without prompting, he slipped his hand beneath the cotton. I inhaled fast. My legs parted just enough. God, the feeling, as his palm slid over and cupped me.

His eyes closed and his mouth opened on mine.

"You're so soft, Bella," he groaned against me. "So perfect."

Another whimper escaped."

Its cute and sexy right? That is what I love about this fic. Bella is not a porn star - she's awkward and embarrassed and unsure. Edward is not suave and ready to pull a James Bond seduction on Bella. Their mutual love and desire makes them work it through. Makes them enjoy working it through and finding this new layer of togetherness that being married brings. The honeymoon is also not the glorious seduction many write it to be. I won't spoil it for you and tell you how it thwarts Edward's plans.

This is a cute two-shot that has plenty of sweet (nay adorable) interactions between Bella and Edward. But also has some searingly intense scenes between them as they finally become husband and wife. Its a quick, endearing and sexy read. And its deffo WussPerv approved. :)

For the record, Emmy has been lobbying me hard to join Team WP, because she saw through my rough, gruff exterior to see that inside, I'm a WP at heart. I finally had to own up to the world that I really am a Bella/Edward shipper. So I'm saying it--out loud--I'M A WUSSPERV!!!

For my first official outing as a WP, Emmy and Nina chose a lovely little story with one of the best titles I've ever seen: How Dirty Boys Get Clean and How Clean Girls Get Dirty.

Does it get any better than that? I loved the cleverness!

The premise of the story is that Bella wants to trick Edward into pushing his sexual boundaries before their wedding. She decides to get him into the bathtub, to get him clean after a hunt. As she undresses him, she starts to talk about his naked torso:

I wanted to fill my arms with the hard, thick strength of his chest and back.

Well, call me a Perv with a capital "P"; I read the words "hard" and "thick," and I start to mistake "strength" for "length," and my mind goes to dirty, naughty places. Suffice it to say, I'm not one of the clean girls getting dirty--I'm firmly entrenched in the dirty needing to get clean. Just saying.

As she tries to convince Edward to take a bath for her, she tells him that she doesn't really know him--or, rather, know his body. She states so innocently that she doesn't even know what his calves look like, how hairy he is, if his second toe is longer than the first. I never really thought about that before, throughout reading Twilight or FF pieces. Naturally, I tend to focus on the schmexing, and little thoughts like this one get lost in the haze of lust. It was such a poignant, beautiful comment, recognizing that Bella needed to learn his whole body. I loved that aspect of this story.

At one point, Bella thinks to herself,God grant me the courage to look. That is one thing I would NEVER be saying to myself if Edward was naked and in front of me, but I loved it all the same. I'm also exceedingly glad that she did have to courage to look, since we see the story through her eyes. luvcali76
describes how Bella is an explorer of Edward, slowly washing his body and uncovering uncharted territory. The very best part of her exploration is that Bella discovers things about Edward that are imperfect, and how much she loves that it is imperfect. Now I'm not sure about anyone else, but I have never run across the words "Edward" and "imperfect" in the same sentence. I was delighted to find someone truthful enough to write Edward in this way; certainly, as beautiful as he is, there are things that aren't perfect.

Another aspect of this story was the intimate art of bathing someone else. We've all read shower scenes in FFn, or even smexing it up in a tub, but this was wholly different. Bella wasn't in the tub with Edward (at first, that is!!), but she took the time to wash almost every inch of Edward. We get to be flies on the wall, watching Edward play in the tub, filling his mouth with bath water and spitting it out. It was about so much more than just sex--it is about their connection. Their beautiful, magic connection.

My favorite line from the story sums Edward's love for Bella up in a beautiful confession of his adoration:

"I've been on this earth for one hundred and seven years. I've traveled every continent, and I've seen every living creature a man can see, and I've never seen anything more beautiful than you."

Cue the whimper. Yep, it's official--I'm a Wussperv.

Emmy sent this to me with her typical, "Stop what you're doing and read this, you'll love it." I'm not sure that is an accurate description of my feelings for it. Let's be honest, there are loads of 'leading up to' or 'practice' fics. Let's also be honest, I read almost all of them ahahaha. Ahem, anyway. With sooooo many practice fics, they all tend to run together, but, this like very few others stands out to me.

It's short, 2 chapters that take no time at all to read. Of course then I read them again but whatever, it's still a quick read. It's more than that though, it's how much is packed into each chapter without it being overstuffed. The wording is clean and the writing is so well done that by the end I was pissed there wasn't more! Plus, I'm a total sucker for begging VampWard...

"Don't stop," I pleaded, sinking down so that he was practically on top of me, my knees skimming the cool surface. "Trust me to stop us. Please. Let me be the one." Still, he waited. "Can you handle this?"


There was something else in his expression. "There's nothing to stop you anymore, is there?"


He was worried.

"And my blood?" I asked him. We were so vulnerable now.

"Makes me want you more."

"Want me?"

"Want you," he whispered in my ear.


The three of us are exceptionally proud of our wussperv status and do our best to beg and plead with people to share with us their findings. So, if you've got a wussperv rec for us, send it to me at ninapolitan@pervpackssmutshack.com