Thursday, February 9, 2012

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 1-9-12


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy wants to thank her lovely fellow Pervs for last week’s “Smut Encyclopedia” post. Kimpy has been busy with a lot of heart transplants and other sick, sick children, so the Pervs stepped to help her remain focused on work.

As always, we’ll start the week with a few comments from some kickass ANNK readers:
I just want to say thank you - last Sunday me and my fiance had a talk about the hymen, and thanks to you I was able to explain him some things that really confused him (I was a virgin before we had sex) and now he understands. So thanks for teaching us all this stuff - from hygiene to questions!

*blush* Naughty Nurse Kimpy is so pleased to know that she was instrumental in your having a frank conversation with your fiance about sex. It helps so much to have the subject demystified, doesn’t it? Anyhow, she commends you for talking through things so that you could establish a good precedent for the future (being candid with your partner about sex)--you’d be amazed at how many married couples cannot, or do not, talk about sex. At all. Well done, you two. Well done. *Nurse Kimpy beams with pride and satisfaction*

NO question here, just wanted to thank you for all you do! Last week, the post about the Diva cup, I absolutely LOVE mine! Had never heard of it til a friend of mine told me...she has an allergy that prevented her from using tampons. I just wish that more people knew about it! It’s such a wonderful thing! Yes, it does take a little getting used to, and you have to be comfortable with touching yourself, but it is SO worth it!! Keep the wonderful information flowing!!

Naughty Nurse Kimpy admits to being a little bit subversive when it comes to the Diva Cup, or menstrual cups in general, but she makes no apologies for that. Diva cups just make a lot of sense, for many different reasons. She has yet to hear from someone who hated them once they got over the learning curve. And trust, there *is* a learning curve, but if you can push beyond it, you, too can be as happy as a unicorn dancing through rainbows. Another loyal reader, Bonnie, gave Nurse Kimpy the link to a community on Live Journal (Live Journal Menstrual Cups) that tackles so many issues about using menstrual cups effectively. Please check it out, it’s a great site.

I tried out the mooncup (similar to diva cup) a while back and could not get the hang of it. It hurt so bad when trying to insert it. I tried many times, in the shower, laying down etc but it never got any easier and when I would get it in I couldn't get it to open properly.

It always leaves Nurse Kimpy with a furrowed brow when someone is having problems of any kind. She’s sorry the mooncup didn’t work for you, and it sounds like you gave it more than a fair chance. She suspects that there could be an issue with your anatomy that could be causing the trouble. For example, if your hymen is intact, it could make insertion painful, if not nearly impossible, depending upon how much of your vaginal opening is covered. There are also different sizes of menstrual cups available--one for women who haven’t given birth, and one for women who have--so please be sure to select the correct size. She encourages you to discuss this with your gynecologist at your next visit to troubleshoot what the issue might be. The bottom line is that it shouldn’t be a painful process to use the cup. If you come up with no solution from your doctor, please let Nurse Kimpy know so she can strategize with you on the subject.

Recently, the people I'm living with have decided to get all earthy on me or whatever and do that "if it's yellow, let it mellow" thing. I'm all about doing what I can for the environment, but couldn't peeing into MORE pee be kinda bad for a vagina in the case that something splashes??

VERY good question. Before you pee, your urine is sterile, because it comes from the bladder, which is a sterile environment. The minute it leaves your body, however, that is no longer the case, and many different types of bacteria found in toilets can readily grow in urine. In fact, E. coli, hepatitis, and the cold virus have all been found growing in public toilets. While this toilet just belongs to you and your roommates, it’s still far from a sterile environment.

Is there the possibility that peeing into pee can be... unhealthy? Sure. Would Nurse Kimpy do it? Nope (NNK’s dislike of using public toilets is legendary--Dr. Freud would have a field day inside her brain). Her standard practice is to flush a toilet if there are any, uh, shall we say remnants. So, if your roomies insist upon keeping it mellow, be sure *you* flush first. Oh, and also? When pee sits in the toilet all day long, it can leave a sediment on the bottom that is nearly impossible to clean with a toilet brush--so you might want to let them know that stain removal will be their job.

how would you describe a pussy?

Um, really? *Naughty Nurse Kimpy gives you a look*

Okay, here goes. Black. Furry, but sometimes they can be bald. Soft. They like to be petted. If you’re really nice, and please them well, they’ll purr for you.

If that isn’t good enough, please see Fanfiction.

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