Thursday, June 21, 2012

ANNK vibes 101 redux

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Our dear Naughty Nurse Kimpy is still on a much deserved vacation! So today we bring to you a replay of a topic which always gets us girls going:

An Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy PPSS University Special

The Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy question box has been filled to the brim with vibrator questions, so here is your chance to get all your answers in one place! The Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy Sex Lab Assistants have been *very* busy this week... never fear. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Special thanks to my fellow Pervs for lending their expertise to this most titillating of subjects! <3


1. Always clean your vibrators. Prior to using them for the first time, and every time after you use them, wash the toy with gentle soap and water. If the directions specify that a particular type of toy wash should be used, follow those instructions. Also be sure that you're careful around the batteries or adapter plug as well. Again, follow the manufacturer's recommendations.

2. Do not share your vibrators with anyone else. This is the best way to pass along nasty critters from person to person.

3. I've said it before, and I will say it again--NO ASS TO VAG. I don't care if you clean the vibrator afterwards, you still shouldn't go ass to vag. If you want both anal and vaginal stimulation via vibrator, buy a separate one for each orifice in order to avoid infection.

4. If a vibrator no longer works, or isn't working properly, don't use it. The risk of injuring yourself isn't worth it.

I'm looking to buy my first vibrator. Any tips for online shopping?

I'm a college student and, after reading your posts, I want to get a vibrator. I don't want to go to an actual store, so do you have any advice for online places to look that aren't "sketchy" (for lack of a better word)? I don't want to just randomly type something into google search, and I would need to find a site where they ship items in plain, non descriptive packaging (since my mail goes to a University mail room), and don't put something like "sex store" on a credit card bill. It would be so helpful if you could give me an idea of where I can start looking. Thanks!

Do you have a trusted discreet website where you buys your toys?

Here are some great sites for n00bs to the concept of buying toys online:

Babeland The site is very non-threatening if you've never looked at sex toys before, and their reviewers sound like 'real' people.

Adam and Eve. They both have reasonable prices (though Adam and Eve has the best sales around), they both have a huge selection and they are discrete.

Smitten Kitten

Eden Fantasys If you ever are in need of a chuckle, some of their reviewers make video reviews which are hilarious and kind of over the top.

All these stores ship items in plain packaging and the return address gives no clues either. They also all send coupons to email subscribers, which is a good thing when you are a toy slut.

I'd like to start by saying that I'm beyond grateful that this is anonymous...
Background: I'm 22, I've just recently started having sex about two months ago. Prior, I had masturbated quite often and found that using a vibrator really made my orgasms more intense and took less time to get there. Since then I haven't gone back to 'manual' stimulation sans vibrator.

My main concern/question: Since I've been having sex with my partner I've never cum from intercourse - even though I do stimulate my clit. Also when he goes down on me, as much as I love it, I've never cum from this either. I decided to introduce a vibe for external stimulation and have found that I've cum from that every time. I guess I'm wondering... has using a vibe made me 'broken' (i.e. unable to cum without it)?

Well, yes, it is anonymous, and I'm happy to help answer the questions you can't ask anyone else. Thank you for trusting me enough to allow yourself ask them! When you use a vibrator, some of its best attributes are that you get where you need to be quickly, and you get there with intensity. There is no wonder why vibrators are so popular!

In terms of having an orgasm via penetrative sex, I'm going to let you in on a secret--it's not always very easy to achieve. For some women, it is, but for many of us, we simply can't get there with a penis alone. What I need for you to take away from this is that you might never have an orgasm from being penetrated alone--that's normal, and it's okay. There is no need to ever feel like you are broken and need to be fixed.

I think one of the negative implications of what we read in fanfiction is that we assume that if our sex life isn't the same as Edward and Bella's, that we're abnormal or broken. Trust me, you're just fine the way you are. If sex feels good to you, or having your boyfriend go down on you feels good, that's really all that matters. If you can only achieve an orgasm when you have sex by using a vibrator on your clit, you know what? You're still having orgasms during sex. Does it matter how you achieve them? Not at all.

My challenge to you is this: Work together with your partner to achieve an orgasm outside of penetrative sex, or oral sex. Just you, your partner, and your vibrator. If you need to use it for clitoral stimulation alone to get your O face on, so be it. Show your partner how to use the vibe on you in order to get your O. I imagine that if you guys can work together to get your O, you'll feel better about it. Once you can do that together, don't be afraid to use the vibrator on your clit while your partner penetrates you; that may be just what you need to get your orgasms during sex.

The bottom line is that there is nothing wrong with needing outside assistance to achieve an orgasm during sex. There is also nothing wrong if you don't have an orgasm every time. As long as what feels great and is an intimate experience for you and your partner, that's really all that matters. Sex is intended to be fun, and to feel good. I encourage you to focus on that, and not get hung up about when, how, or why you orgasm.

Here's the question: Would having masturbated for years because you're not in a committed relationship cause you to stop being able to achieve an orgasm without the use of say a vibrator or bullet when you actually (Praise Jesus) start having sex with a partner? I just don't want him to think there is a problem with him & yes, I have achieved orgasm prior, but its been years.

Can using a vibrator on your clit, like a pocket rocket type thing, numb your nerves and make it less sensitive permanently? Also, by using a vibrator, can it make it harder to orgasm just using your fingers? Is there anything I can do to make it (the nerves in my clit) more sensitive?


Now, that being said, there are a few things that you should keep in mind:

1. If you use a vibrator excessively--as in, 10 orgasms a day, for example--it can temporarily numb and desensitize your vag, making it more difficult to come with a partner. Emphasis is on the key word temporarily Remember, all things in moderation.

2. While vibrator use shouldn't have a direct impact on your ability to orgasm physically using other methods of stimulation, it can train your brain to be more attuned to having one type of orgasm. Any mind-body response is the result of the creation of a neural pathway--essentially, a path from the brain to the body that causes a physical reaction. It is possible for you to become mentally trained to have orgasms via vibrators; your brain might learn that your particular orgasmic response comes via a vibrator. I encourage you to alternate the types of orgasms you have, so that some are from vibrators, and some are from your fingers or other methods. Obviously, if you don't have an available partner, you can't add sex and oral sex into the equation. If you do have a partner, well, make sure to add sex and oral sex in there, too.

3. If it has been a while since you've had a sexual partner, your orgasmic response might be diminished. Don't be alarmed if it takes a bit of time for you to relearn to orgasm via good, old-fashioned sex. Explain things to your partner, and you can work on learning how to get your O face on together.

Other than your hand and a vibrator, what else could you use for masturbation?
Oh my god, put a dirty mind to work and it never stops... the conversation thread we had going about the various things we used! Here are but a few of the many ideas the Pervs have come up with:

The Massaging Shower Head is ordinary-hardware-masquerading-as-sex-toy gold. Handhelds are the easiest, and the more settings the better. *It'll be the best trip to Home Depot, like ever*

Textured massage gloves or finger covers work nicely for the more sensitive women. Fingertip toothbrushes also do the trick nicely. Added bonus? You can get them at drugstores or even pet stores, they are super cheap, and no one will ever know what lascivious plans you have for them.

Speaking of toothbrushes, electric toothbrushes are the stealth bomber of vibrators. They range in price from $10 to $100 a pop. The more expensive they are, the more power they tend to deliver, although it's possible to get off from just a battery-powered number. Check them out at Oral-B Professional Electric Toothbrush.

As long as you're in the health and beauty aid section of the store anyhow, check out the Neutrogena Wave Facial System. For $19 you get a comfy hand held vibrator that you can leave out on you bathroom counter for all the world to see, and no one will be any the wiser.

You know those pillows that most everyone has in their home? Round, long, innocent looking? Maybe not so much: Bolster pillows. Put one between your legs and hello, dryhump.

Part II of Vibrators 101:

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Anonymous said...

Hahahad NNK. After reading this post I was grocery shopping and spotted the neutrogena wave for 9$... I burst out laughing and promptly bought it. Tehe. Can't stop laughing at myself.