"The List" by Laura Cullen

Our Guest Reviewer this week is...Alice aka Feathers_mmmm


This week's Perv Pack Recommendation is...

Title: "The List"
Author: Laura Cullen
Chapters: 16
Words: 80,253
Reviews: 2127
Summary: Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list of things that she and Edward can do together once they're happily married. She's surprised to find she might be able to cross some things off earlier than she thought...

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Twilighted thread for "The List"


Guest Reviewer Alice- So I have learned something valuable. When Nina gives me a fic rec, I read it usually within a few hours of when she sends to to me. Sometimes, if I hold her boobies exceptionally well, she will link multiple chapters for me, and I can read them on my phone like a true fic/crack fiend. So naturally when she told me about The List, I promptly pranced to my laptop and opened it up. And I have not been able to think straight since.

From the first chapter where Bella realizes that cold water from a shower massager feels a lot like our favorite vamp, to the knowledge that her scent is literally driving Edward to break down all his carefully constructed rules regarding her “morality”, to Alice knowing about the list before it really even gets off the ground...all I can say is wow.

The “list” itself is pure genius, a check off list of everything Bella wants to do with Edward, and truth be told all the things I would like to do to him as well.

Picture Edward pushing Bella up against a tree, raising her arms above her head, and when she tries to move them saying something like “Keep them up against the tree,” are you kidding me with this? This is hot, hot, pure white hot mental fuckery that continues on for the rest of the fic.
The chapters grow increasingly more daring, as do our favorite little scamps. Favorite images? Blue panties, naked shower Edward, dirty talking Bella, the first time he touches her they do it together, sex advice from Carlisle haha, sexy times in the car after dirty dancing...Jesus, I really can't go on.

Now, here is where it gets interesting.

Bella's blood, and specifically, where it is coming from. This could have been where I stopped reading, and yet...no. In the same way that Hope made a double penetration scene in The Arrangement meaningful and plot-driven, so did Laura with this potentially skeevy plot twist. It is artfully written, sweetly smutty, and designed to kill. And by kill I mean kill your panties...it is a panty killer!!

I will end by saying that the shower scene in the latest chapter...holy hell. Perfection, and I am a sucker for a good shower scene. Here is hoping Laura continues to tick off everything on that list, and continues to add to it. And maybe #69 on that list, Bella could insist on asking Edward to have sex with me while she gets to watch? No? OK...The List by Laura Cullen is mmmm...


Bri- I know we all wished for the sex to come (<--hehe) after Eclipse and this story delivers those sexy times. The premise of the story is quite cute - Bella making a list of all the things she wants to do with Edward. What's even better is getting to see her cross the items off that list. The characters do tend to bounce around a lot between being IC and OOC, which turned me off just a bit. I'm all for an OOC Edward that says fuck all the time and wants to fuck Bella seven ways to Sunday, but I want him to own it, not reprimand himself in the next chapter for doing it and then go right back to doing it again immediately after. However, even with the whiplash in the character changes, there's no denying the fact that this fic delivers the smut and delivers it sizzling hot. I am looking forward to seeing how much more Bella can cross off her list before the big day, and seeing how she can continue to drive Edward crazy with lust. 3.5/5 panties.


Emmy- (why did I delay reading this diamond story?!!!!) THIS is an excellent story. J'adore VampWard & Bella prior to the marriage & change - oh the expectations I had of BD... (but I will NOT go there today!). Like our dear own Beks's epic Baby Steps, this story is how I wish the series had progressed... This story does not ignore the tension, the lust, the desires, the hunger, the need, the love and importantly the blood lust between the two betrothed love-birds. Instead it is driven by it. At times this story is tender, with the sexy activities adding to their connection, bond and trust and most importantly love between the two. BUT. Bella is human, real and likeable(!) & she humanises Edward whilst they explore the possibilities and push the boundaries of what a vamp & human in love can do...

But the lust? Dear god. The frustration? Feck me. The list? The list is genius, & is ever-growing... As more is conquered, more is added.. Just like in the real world! This story is so realistic. So how we would all be if we were faced with the granite perfection of an in-love Edward... Desperate for more. ....

What I love most about this fic is the way it has dealt with the vampire element. I mean come on! I can not be the only one who when reading Twilight was blown away with the sexy vamp opportunities for sexing? The thoughts of the cold hardness. The thoughts of the blood-drinking, the nibbling, the biting, the strength, the fierceness, the beast-within, the power, the brute-force, the-hunger... Dear god it drove me insane, and its something that is not touched on enough in stories (ff or the series) in my book.... (again, do read Beks's B.S. for more of this delightful stuff!) If I were Bella, I would want that sexy vamp to vamp it up for me... & this is where the List cum's into its own. (BRILLIANTLY, DAZZINGLY and RANDILY so..)

Yet their love is never lost, destroyed or smeared - unlike the panties.. I CANNOT praise this story enough. I adore it, its extremely well written, has a proper clever plot, top-notch characterisation and is burning, flaming, hot. I love it. READ IT NOW! Don't delay like the silly sausage here did..... I folded all my 5 out of 5 of my ruined knickers, and am keeping them safe for Edward, in case he ever calls for them... (what? a girl can dream/fantasise can't she?!)


Emily- I am currently being cockblocked by visiting family so I can not review but I know my pervy bitches here will not steer you wrong!


Hope- " The List" is a funny, humorous but tender and sweet look at what might have happened between our darling Edward and Bella after Eclipse and before Breaking Dawn. Pushing their sexual boundaries and expanding their experiences. I have read a few of these types of stories; some great, some good, some awful and some just plain smut for the sake of smut. "The List" is is one of that good ones. It takes an awkward topic, cause come on sexual repressed Edward and horny Bella is awkward and puts a funny, yet tender spin on it. So the basic premise is that Bella knows there are things that they can't do yet, so she makes a list of all the things she wants to do. And surprisingly she gets to cross quite a bit off of it, and without Edward even being aware of it. There is a hilarious conversation with Carlisle and some good natured teasing from Rose and Emmett, as well as a panty fetish Edward. Who knew little Eddie had a thing for Bella's panties? The smut comes (snicker) natural and doesn't seem forced. Yes, they are pushing their limits but it is organic in nature.This is a must read for anyone looking for a little escapism, with a side of naughtiness. And clever, funny and hot use of a removable shower-head with cold water and some hot wax. 4 wet panties that Edward wants to snatch out of 5.


Kasey- Sorry kids, I'm off celebrating my b-day this weekend, so no review from me. 'See ya' next week!


Kathy- Ah, The List. This story is the tale of Bella and Edward's sexual frustration and how she attempts to solve their problem. I really enjoyed Edward's conflicting emotions in the beginning. In chapter 6, the emotion conveyed at the end about their impending marriage from EPOV was lovely. It was extremely touching in the middle of some hot lemons. Chapter 11 had me panting, I confess. Oh, and chapter 12. Okay, most of the chapters had me alternating between holding my breath and panting. 4/5 panties.


Miya- I've been sick and/or dealing with sick kids for the past several weeks but I had to come leave some List love. Here is my favorite things list for The List. 1. “There were days when I wished things like garlic and holy water and crucifixes worked.” 2.“Come for me, Bella. Come now.” 3. Vamp Edward saying fuck. 4. Vamp Edward saying fuck, a lot. 5. Jasper (who would have thought, fiberkitty enjoyed a Jasper lemon) and Alice with her crotchless panties. 6. Getting revenge with blue lace. 7. Love letters. 8. Emmett's smiley face. 9. Stained panties and 10. Vamp Edward saying fuck.

Five lingerie drawers full of panties out of five. I need an Alice with a Cullen credit card to go buy more. Oh and the author owes me some batteries. I ran out.


Nina- Nothing makes me happier than horny vampward. Seriously. I'm easy like that. Ask your dad. "The List" not only brings us a deliciously randy vampward (who likes to talk dirty) but a sexually confident Bella who knows what, when, how and where she wants her man to nail her. Numero Uno on the List is against a tree. The thought of plucking splinters from your ass isn't appealing. What would make it appealing? Edward burying his man bone while he holds you up against a tree. That's Chapter 2. It gets exponentially hotter each chapter. It's damn near ridiculous that Laura accomplishes that. Keep in mind. They haven't fucked yet. They're waiting for the wedding night. HAHAHA. If their base rounding experimentation is this stifling hot what the fuck is the actual humping going to be like? Alice decides she's going to facilitate the 'experimentation' and helps Bella reach her goals by giving her some very good advice and additions to their ever growing sexy times list. I'm a sucker for Edward's panty thievery, sex advice from Carlisle is win all the time especially when he uses the word semen. The best advice he gives her is "You do not have to worry about pregnancy." (hear that Meyer!)
It's not just their lust fueled exchanges that make this such a great story, don't get me wrong that helps, it's a legitimate story too. They're both still nervous about the wedding, I mean you can push boundaries all you want but when you get right down to it and Point A goes into Hole B it's going to hurt like fuck especially compounded with his vamp rod and his pure canon Edward nerves. I agree with my main girl love Alice that the shower massager is something we all should own especially if Summit can market ones shaped like a sparkling vamp peen. I will also admit that I get skeeved out at the thought of earning the Red Wings but for some reason in this case I wasn't. Maybe because it was realistically done, he was scared and hesitant but still very deeply possessed by his animalistic side to proceed. The latest chapter was fantastic, not only were we graced with some theatre loving but also a great scene involving Native Americans (not Quiletes) being wary of Edward and him almost being outed by the sudden sunlight. It was just an interesting turn of events that I can't remember having read anything similar to it before. Needless to say this story, the List and Laura own me. Seriously. It's funny, hot, sexy and honestly she updates crazy fast, has fucklong chapters of goodness and she's an absolute sweetheart. 5/5 from me with the promise of another 10 when they finally screw.


Stephie- I have a soft spot for fics that have the Bella and Edward we know from the books explore and push boundaries. Maybe it's because I really wanted more out of the honeymoon (didn't we all?). I love a Bella who grows into her sexuality, and this Bella certainly does. Not to mention an Edward who caves to the more animalistic urges that Bella inspires. One of the hottest things to me is how Edward tries to retain his more gentlemanly exterior, while meanwhile his mind is full of the dirty and sexy things he both wants to give and get. I can't believe how very hot each chapter is without them actually having sex. 4/5 panties


Steph- I'm pretty sure it was someone in the PP who told me I needed to read this fic. Holy crow, I'm so glad they did. I'll admit I am a huge sucker for stories that continue from the books into areas that are left quite gray by SM. We all know Bella from the books was a complete horndog, how could she not be? I love Laura's version of Bella, I love her fantasies and her decision to make her list and try to see some things carried out, with a little help from Alice. And Edward, nervous, always-tries-to-be-a-gentleman Edward. I love that he is a bit OOC, hearing him say "Fuck" shoots tingles straight to my girly bits. I love that he is not so rigidly against trying anything for fear of hurting her, he works to overcome his fears and does a fan-fucking-tastic job of it. I want to be this Bella. If somebody figures out how, you better tell me. All of the scenes of "romance" (okay, so you know I mean totally HOT making out) are seriously to die for. There's this one little thing that Bella has done that I absolutely adore. I won't say what it is, but hot damn, I loved it. This story is seriously fucking hot, for not having any actual sex yet. I give it a 4.5/5 wet panties from me that will most assuredly rocket off the scale once we get the actual sex.
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In addition to our Round Table Review above, we've also asked the Laura to share with us a bit about herself and her reaction to the blog.

I'm vibrating with excitement over the Pack reviewing The List. Er, I guess that's not the wisest choice of words on this blog, eh? Anyways, I'm 38 and have two daughters, Cara (5) and Julia (2.5). I've been married to my husband Brian for nearly 13 years, though we dated/were engaged for 6 years before that. I don't feel old enough to have been in a nearly twenty-year relationship. Sheesh. I teach American history at a college in Maryland and have published two non-fiction books in my field. I just found out that I am being promoted to Associate Professor, which is kinda cool. Last summer, I had a head injury and shoulder surgery and when I finally recovered from all that mess I literally felt like a new room in my brain had been opened up and I could NOT escape the need to write. Supernatural fantasies have always been my favorite genre, and I was 20 pages into a ghost story based on stories from my own family when a full-blown novel idea crashed into my brain and took hold (it's a vampire story, which wasn't really what I wanted to write given Twi, though it's quite different). Twelve weeks later I had cranked out my very first novel entitled Absolution. I haven't had luck yet landing an agent for it, though I've had a number of requests to see the manuscript, but it hasn't stopped my writing. Since I finished Absolution in October, I've written two chapters of a sequel for that book, plus two chapters of a possession story based on Anglo-Saxon mythology. Then between the holidays and an 8-week viral illness I've just gotten over I haven't written any of my own original stuff since December. Instead I've written two novel-length fan fictions! But, I've gotten so much pleasure writing these and reading the reviews that it's been an entirely rewarding experience.


So, mwah to all mah readahs