Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Lemon Report 8/23/11

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

In some cases, the Lemon Report may contain spoilers. Please read with caution.

Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.

AH Outtakes E/Jake

Jess - I have loved this story from the get go, so it was nice to get another little installment... this time in EPOV. This naughty little romp is hot and filthy. Just yum.

Chele - Edward and Jacob make me so happy..... in my pants.

Jen - I will never get enough of these boys.

Jeanne - Nothing makes me happier than a gay HEA. Though Ed and Jake being the boys with that HEA is like an extra special bit of awesome. I just can’t get enough of these two. *happy sigh*

Emmy - Beautiful as ever. I love how sadtomato wrote Edward. His voice was perfect. Beautiful scenes and intense lemony loving. Just perfection!

AH, O/S, E/B

Emmy - I am not sure how I stumbled upon this author. But I am super glad I did. (she’s got a lovely and suggestive slashy one-shot on there too, but its only a T as no real smutty stuff - but deffo worth a read too!) Anyways, back to Return to Me! It could be a cliche, Bella and Edward: Friends with Benefits..... BUT the way that Pfft writes it, it is not! Their chemistry is cracking! The sex is fabbio and the emotions and conflicting thoughts provide great tension and atmosphere transforming this fic into a great wee One-Shot. A must read for Edward/Bella fans.

AH WIP Jasper/Peter

Jess - There is something about this storyline that gets me. Maybe it’s the way these two have struggled with parents that don’t understand or the fact that they are finally trying to have a baby... I just... it makes me all swoony and melty inside. Not to mention, they are two hot men... and this update... a little laundry room lovin’ was just what I needed!

Jen - Oh, this Jasper. He totally uses sex as a distraction and it’s freaking hot. Peter is completely defenseless to Jasper’s charms, and that’s even with knowing that Jasper’s parents are down the hall at the dinner table. zomg!

Emmy - I always love boy *love*. But I think the other scenes in this chapter and the love love get me more. Interesting story and a good read.

Teal - "Now see, you could have woken me up a lot easier telling me you were looking for someone to stick their hands down your pants." ← How can I not love this fic? I love the balance these two find in one another and how they push each other. Add in some secret sex in your parents house to try and shut the other up...umm, fuck, yeah :)

Transformers Fic, Complete, Slash, Optimus Prime/Everyone

Chele - This is a quick (6 chapter) sensual robotic smut-fic in which Optimus Prime is able to bring healing and comfort to his troops through the process of spark-merging (Transformers sex). I think that Borath does as excellent job here of showing the way a true leader is able to recognize the unique needs of those who look to them for guidance and acceptance, and cater to those needs individually.

While the sparkmerge may not be the sexing you are used to, the passion of the inorganic participants. makes it no less erotic or sensual.

I think that if Carlisle stepped up to the plate like this, The Cullens would all get along better. Just saying... Someone write that for me Pls&Thx.

AU, O/S, Carlisle/Heidi

Jen - This o/s of lemony goodness is for all of us who don’t believe that there’s any way that Carlisle could have left Volterra a virgin. I’d never pictured him with Heidi, but this totally works. evieeden’s Heidi gives us a sweet afternoon seduction before Carlisle departs for America.


Jen - Although her seduction didn’t quite end how she wanted it to, I was cheering Bella on. Despite letting her negative imagination run rampant for a bit, she was bold enough to give it another go, with yummy results for her and Edward. So glad to see these two actively working on communicating.

Emmy - We really see Bella’s development in this chapter, more than any other I think. Her resolution and her determination to give and get pleasure was so very well done! Bravo Bella!

Trin - Just like Jen said seeing these two work on communication was so fantastic in this chapter. So glad to see the two moving in the right direction and oh so happy Bella went for what she wanted.

Teal - It makes me so happy to see my other Pervs reading one of my favorite fics, and it has been absolutely worth the wait to get to the lemons in this one. There’s a long way to go for things to be “perfect”, if that’s even possible, but many lessons have sealed their love. I think they’ll be able to learn a lot more about themselves and their relationship through intimacy.

AU, O/S, slash, Jake/Embry

Jen - I’m not sure how I stumbled upon Gracieblack28’s fics, but I’m so glad I did. This o/s is JPOV of Jake and Embry’s first time together--the night before Jake marries Leah. It’s desperate, unexpected sex on the beach, sex that Embry has dreamed of for years . If you want to know what happens after this, there are two short completed fics about this Jake and Embry, with a third fic in progress.

AH WIP Bella

Jess - Well, JenJadeEyes has officially killed me. I thought the opening chapter of this little bit of hot goodness was going to be the only bit of Bella/Carlisle we would see, but oh sweet mercy, someone pass me a cigarette, because she totally blew me away with this one. Just... do yourself a favor and read this if you aren’t. It’s unbelievable. And is easily among the hottest stories I’ve read. The. End.

Jeanne -This has to be one of the hottest sex scenes I have EVER read. Seriously, there is something about a man being so vulnerable, and yet somehow still being in a mentor position...I swear this story makes me think AND turns me on so much I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Not that I mind. Not at all. UNF!

Jen - Have we mentioned we’re fond of Hedone Ranch and want to hump JenJadeEyes’ leg? Each chapter is such a delicious surprise. The anticipation of wondering which Twiguy is next... unf- such foreplay! And the main event never disappoints.

Chele - The details in this chapter were exquisite. Wonderfully surprised that Carlisle was Bella’s guide into her next step of sexual awakening. Loved it.

Teal - There just aren’t words.... It’s amazing how well JenJadeEyes is pulling things off in this story. If you’re a non-canon lover, there is absolutely NO reason you shouldn’t be reading this!

AH, O/S, Ed/Bella/James

Jen - I don’t know if this o/s was inspired by the photos of Cam toting his daughter around LA, but that’s totally what I see in MsKathy’s vision of a polyamorous family made up of Edward, Bella, James, and their three kids. Don’t worry, the kids don’t cramp their sexy style, and MsKathy doesn’t disappoint in the lemon department. So hot!

AH, WIP, Rosalie/Emmett

Jen - Everything is finally in place for Rose & Emmett to share a night together, and it’s more wonderful than either of them imagined it could be. I would take another turn at high school if I knew I could snag a boy as swoony as this Emmett. Tender and passionate lovemaking. Unf!


Emmy - I can’t believe this story is complete! I loved this Bella and Edward and just how far Bella came throughout the story to let herself be loved and be happy. A great and lovely end to a really enjoyable story. I also enjoyed Jasper & Alice in this story and how much they despised one another! The supporting cast was great value & Edward was just a dream. Really worth a read!

AH Outtakes Jasper/Edward

Jess - This is one of those stories that I adore and am always happy seeing updates in my box. This is the first of a series of outtakes from the boys, and this one was absolutely hot. Limos, bathrooms, tuxes. UNF!

Emmy - I loved getting this alert in my box this week!! It made me so happy to see them both so happy together whilst working through some fears. Plus sexy times. Delicious!!!

AU/Canon, O/S, Felix/Jane

Chele - Oooooh, the largest and smallest of the Volturi guards have been keeping a secret... their desire for one another. I was so excited to see the pairing of Felix and Jane, not only because it is unusual, but because the dichotomy is fascinating, and hopeforstalemate really sold me on them together. I love the way they they recognize the complementary features and personalities in one another, and the way Felix is attracted to her passion an grace, seeing her for her age and wisdom despite lack of maturity her body belies. It’s woven into canon, and is a bit of a sexy spotlight shone onto the relationship between Felix and Jane.

Jeanne - VOLTURI FIC FTMW!!! Seriously, I’ve always shipped these two since New Moon. I love the paradox of their powers and physical appearance, plus the power play that happens between them in canon. Yet, I had never seen any decent fic for this pairing UNTIL NOW!

This is perfect. It fits into canon, explains their interactions and sheds light on the other side of immortal life. After all, the Cullens are a minority in their world. Not all vampires live and love as they do, but this story shows us that the Cullens aren’t the only vampires that can fall in love. I love the romantic view of the Volturi in this story, as well as the shades of dark humor. Though I think the master stroke was the canon-compliant solution to vampire virginity (I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that has wondered about that). This story is sweet, seductive and sexy. Give it a try, you just might like it on the darkside.


Teal - OH GAWD, my heart! This update was such an epic tearjerker, but it was lovely all the same. In the face of the impending separation that neither of them can prevent, Edward and Bella retreat for alone time that turns into something incredibly intimate and unique...and even quite romantic. The desperation toward the end of the chapter is what really got me, and I’m waiting with bated breath for the next update!


Anonymous said...

Is Unspoken available on any other sites--smartphone friendly sites specifically.

Jeanne said...

Dear Anon, it looks like Unspoken is only on Twiwrite, BUT I know I'm hoping that hopforstalemate will eventually post it on her FFnet profile (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2173996/hopeforastalemate). How about you drop her a PM and ask about it? I know I plan to. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm rushing off right now to do that. Thanks, Jeanne. :)