Team Anything Goes: Taboo fics

A fearless group of Pervs willing to read anything, as long as it's sexy, smutty and well written. We are brave and we dare you to be too.

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Team Anything Goes is all about taking risks and going where many fan fiction readers fear to tread. If there is one barrier that many Twilight fan fiction readers have feared to cross it is the taboo of the parental figures paired with younger characters, as well as infidelity and/or non-monogamy among mated vampires. Sure, Carlisle/Edward and Carlisle/Jasper are quickly becoming one of the most popular slash pairings in the fandom and even Bella/Carlisle is getting more attention, but we want more.

Our brave Pervs have ventured forth to find fic that will scratch that itch. We know you want it, don’t bother denying it. So go ahead, venture into the unknown with us. We promise you’ll like it. Don’t worry we won’t tell.

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Bite the Apple

by
ReasonandRhyme
AH, O/S, Edward/Esme
Summary
Esme's day started out so well, but after a sidewalk tumble lands her in the arms of a stranger, she quickly learns that anything can happen in New York City.

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Jeanne - There are a lot of May December romances written for Edward and Bella. In fact, I LOVE several of them and we’ve even reviewed those very popular fics here on PPSS, but I have to say the dynamic feels more authentic to me when the pairing is Edward/Esme.

Bite the Apple shows us a fiery, outspoken Esme that some may see as OOC, but I would have to disagree. I find it believable that if Esme were raised in the modern world and lived a full, if not completely happy life she would be more of a firecracker. I must admit I’m a bit in love with this Esme. She is courageous, brash and loving life when she, quite literally bumps into Edward and Jasper.

The happy accident that lands her in the company of these two sexy, talented men is unimportant. What is important is how obvious it is that both these young men find this 40+ Esme attractive, and poor Esme, like many women her age hasn’t got a clue. In fact, Edward has to practically throw himself at her to get your to realize that he’s interested. God, to I fucking love the reality of that. So many women over thirty do not recognize that they are drop dead gorgeous.

A great deal about this story feels like a fantasy, one that many of us have had about sexy, suave Edward Cullen. However, what I enjoyed the most was moments of realism scattered through out the story. Especially at the end, where at one point I got a little teary eyed at something that Esme said (no spoilers).

Oh yeah and did I mention the incredibly hot sex? Oh shit yeah! ReasonandRhyme doesn’t rush it, in fact we get to enjoy Esme and Edward covering ALL the bases. HOLY HOUR-LONG FOREPLAY, BATMAN! By the time they got around to full on sex the monitor was fogged over. *fans self*

You might be hesitant about Esme/Edward because of their parent-to-child relationship in canon, but do not let that stop you from seeing their romantic (or sexual) potential. If you are able to believe in a fic world where they are human, then take just one more (small) step further and allow yourself to see them as consenting, no-related adults. Take a chance, you may find they are hot, real and beautiful. Oh and that you want more after you have a taste. ;)

Jess - Hands down, Bite the Apple has the best Esme I have EVER read. She is snarky, witty, and so full of funny inner monologue I was cackling through much of this short bit of awesomeness! She has sex on the brain, and when she meets two Hollywood A-listers - Edward and Jasper - who rescue her from a bike accident, it’s just pure hilarity and sex-on-the-brain. I mean seriously, is this not the best line ever?

“I snorted. ‘Obviously, you've never felt your hands on you. Wait. That didn't come out right.’”

And that’s just a very small sample of some of the many, many awesome lines/thoughts Esme has about these two hotties.

The tension in this one-shot is amazing. As you see the playful banted between Edward and Jasper and the way in which Esme processes - both internally and externally - it, you can’t help but feel that tingly warmth in your belly spread to all the right places.

“...I'm old enough to-"

"To know better?" Edward chuckled as he tilted my head back to look into my eyes. I stared up into an emerald universe in which I could willingly lose myself and was damn close to doing so.

"To know better, yes. But right now I just possibly feel young enough not to care," I murmured as his tongue slid out to moisten his lips.

And that’s only the beginning, because the rest left me swooning and melting and panting and gasping with the hotness. Like Carlisle/Bella, Edward/Esme pairings always feel so right to me, and this one will leave you begging for more.

Jen - I am so glad that Jeanne found this o/s while fic-diving because reading it totally made my day. Bite the Apple is one of those o/s that is going to have you eager to get to the end, yet not at all eager to finish. It’s funny, it’s sexy, and just all-around full of yum.

One of the things I love best about Bite the Apple is how light-hearted it is. Esme’s inner monologue is sometimes self-deprecating (but not to the point of self abuse) but most often teasing and joking. Although she’s fictional, Esme’s thoughts are not all that different from those of many other middle-aged women, but ReasonandRhyme doesn’t get all heavy on the topic of aging. It’s so refreshing to see a character who isn’t a twenty-something owning and enjoying her sexuality whether she’s admiring men’s asses or getting naked with a hot guy.

Edward and Jasper are adorable- both in looks and demeanor. Esme is fortunate enough, after her run in with the bike messenger, to learn that they are not only handsome but kind, thoughtful, and the most humble, down-to-earth Hollywood stars on the planet. On top of all of this, Esme realizes that Edward is attracted to her; she eventually learns that another of his fine qualities is that he’s a very attentive lover.

I lost my balance and fell backward. Edward caught my arm and pulled me hard into him. The pull was hard. The table was hard. Edward's chest muscles as I slammed against him were hard. Edward... was hard.

Hello, Mr. Happy!

Bite the Apple will make you swoon and make you laugh. Give this most wonderful Esme/Edward story a try!

Chele - The depth of character for Esme was so refreshing in this fic, and her banter with Edward kept me smiling from the moment they meet. It read very much like a fantasy to me, but oh, what a fantasy it is! Edward is adorable, witty, and sexy as hell, and the way he provides steady reassurance to Esme and breaks down her walls of self consciousness won me over to him.

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Only in My Dreams
by
tuesdaymidnight
AH, O/S, Charlie/Alice
Summary
She is the best friend of his daughter. He is the father of her best friend. Their attraction must remain unrecognized and unrequited. But that doesn’t mean their fantasies have to.

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Jeanne - I’m not even going to fuck around and pretend like this isn’t one of my all time favorite pairings in the Twilight series. I always saw hints of it in canon, mostly in Alice’s choice to continue watching over Charlie (after the Cullens left in New Moon) and her choice to return to Forks to check on him after she saw Bella jump off the cliff. I have a soft spot for Charlie Swan and always like the idea of him have a sexy, young girl on his arm. A girl with the tenacity and compassion to heal his lonely, broken heart. Alice is that girl, without a doubt.

Only in My Dreams is a more realistic portrayal of how things would play out for Alice and Charlie in an All Human universe. Their attraction is about as taboo as they come. How they choose to exercise or is it exorcise their desires is part of what makes this sexy, titillating story so believable.

Charlie is a good man, a pillar of the community. He’s the Chief of police for Christ’s sake. He knows that his feelings for Alice are wrong and that to act on them would result in nothing, but chaos and turmoil for both of them. It doesn’t stop him from watching and caring for Alice, even while he secretly desires more. Only when he is alone does he allow himself to entertain his fantasies of what he would do if he could be with Alice.

Alice is intelligent, and very mature for her age. She has a dark past that has left deep wounds that she covers with her exuberance and energy. While she is fully aware that her attraction to Charlie can never be realized, she allows her self to indulge in her fantasies in private.

This story, like the pairing, is a double edge sword. You ache for them, wishing that they could be in a world where they could be together. Yet, part of what make this so enticing is that they can’t be together. This story leaves you flustered, aching and wishing for more well written Alice/Charlie like this one.

Jess - I echo Jeanne’s sentiments above. There’s something really special about the idea of Alice and Charlie. She’s young and spunky but mature beyond her years, and he’s older, mature, and lonely but with a good sense of moral rightness... and it’s these factors that make this story so appealing and so sad. I want them to be together and yet I don’t. I want them to find comfort in each other, to indulge their secret fantasies, and yet I don’t. I don’t want them to suffer the heavy baggage that would inevitably come... and that in the end would get them nowhere.

As a girl who loves a man with facial hair, I’m not even going to pretend that Chief Swan’s stache isn’t hot. It is. The attraction is palpable. Here’s a little *ahem* taste, if you will.

It was his moustache that really drove me crazy. I could imagine those thick, dark, bristly hairs tickling my clit as Charlie stuck his tongue between my folds. Then I imagined the way his moustache would feel as he left a trail of kisses up my body. Licking my breasts, tickling and teasing my nipples. Stopping to leave a slow, sucking kiss at the spot on my neck that Jasper could never seem to find. Finally he would stop at my lips, his deep brown lust-filled eyes looking into mine, and then he would pull me into a passionate kiss.

And while her fantasies are largely focused on what she’d do to him and him her, their connection is more than just physical; it’s the gentle way he treats her, the level of respect he shows her, the manner in which he talks to her. Their connection is what dreams are made of.

So, like them, I’ll indulge in my fantasy world of a happily ever after for these two... if only in my dreams.

Chele - I also bow at the alter of the Charlie/Alice ship, and this little double fantasy snippet felt like the satiation of a long awaited need. tuesdaymidnight has painted such a vivid picture of these two impossible lovers, each aching for one another, but held apart by reality. Alice’s exceptional, but realistic maturity level gave such credibility for their desire for one another that I completely believed it. And Charlie. Sweet, canon in my pants, Charlie. Never has a shower wank to handle the ache in one's pants caused by your daughter’s barely legal friend been so hot.
Give these star-crossed lovers a chance. It will make you ache in your heart and squirm in your chair.

Jen - Like Jeanne, Alice/Charlie is one of my favorite pairings, and there are not nearly enough stories about them. After seeing Alice and Charlie exit the Swan house together in Eclipse (the movie), I’d hoped more writers would tackle the pairing, but it hasn’t happened yet. Luckily for us TAG Pervs, tuesdaymidnight gave us her take on these two in Only in My Dreams.

It would be impossible in the AH universe they inhabit, but I wish so much that they could share their feelings with each other. Each of them doubts that the other would ever reciprocate their feelings; if only they knew that they did. While Alice is of-age, it would be sordid and taboo for them to get together. Fortunately for us, their imaginations and dreams are a very sexy place to be.

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The Sacrifice
by
Edward’sChipper
AU Post-BD, O/S, Esme/Aro
Summary
She is a mystery to him, but he must understand. He holds the key to her Love, her life, what could she possibly offer in exchange? A VERY different alternate ending to BD.

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Jess - The Sacrifice is set in a post-Breaking Dawn alternate universe. The Cullens lost; Esme and Carlisle have been captured, others (presumably Rose and Emmett) have been killed, and Edward, Alice, Bella, Jasper, Renesmee, and Jake have all escaped.

This story starts with Aro talking about his intrigue for Esme, how he is inexplicably drawn to her in a way he’s not been drawn to another vampire... ever. As the story unfolds, we see Aro’s desire and lust for her push him to behave in ways he never would, and in her quest to save Carlisle - or at the very least get a glimpse of him - Esme does what she must. She gives in to Aro; she shows him how special love can be. As these two come together, it is with competing reasons but is full of intensity and passion.

I was blown away by how hot sex between these two could be. It was unexpected and left me feeling tingly in way I would never thought possible.

Her taste was even sweeter here, at the apex of her womanhood, and Aro watched as her eyes closed and her memories faded into a vision of him between her thighs and the sensations he was giving her. He ran his tongue upward and over her folds, listening to her sighs and mewls, her hips rising to meet him, and he couldn't wait another moment to be inside her. Crawling one last time up her body, he watched her face as he placed himself at her entrance and then guided himself into her.

I know TAG readers will definitely be up for giving this one a go!

Jeanne - Even in the realm of non-canon shipping this one is a rare pairing. I must admit, as I began to read this story it was with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. After all, this takes place in a AU Breaking Dawn where the Cullens lost. That alone left me feeling unsettled, but the idea of Carlisle and Esme being prisoners of the Volturi left me heartbroken.

The fact that despite all my misgivings I not only fell in love with Aro/Esme, but I found their sex scene to me incredibly hot is a testament to Edward’sChipper’s skill as a storyteller. Aro and Esme are opposites in every way, but instead of clashing they complement each other. Their desires, Esme’s to see her family again by whatever means necessary and Aro’s to understand her love and dedication to them, meld and create a force of attraction that is so great it surprises both of them.

Esme's eyes followed him, rising to her feet to stand just next to the bench where she was sitting. As he finally turned to her, his eyes roamed from her bare feet, up over her soft curves, hesitating slightly on her breasts, her nipples undoubtedly clearly visible through the thin fabric. His silence was complete and deafening as he sized up his latest acquisition. She was no good at this game and she knew it already. She could have just remained in her previous clothes rather than attempting to be some wanton seductress. But it was the only thing that had come to mind that she could do for Carlisle, to see him one last time. But now that Aro was standing before her, drinking her in with his eyes, her nerve slowly ebbed. She started to realize that what she had thought would be a plan, might be the worst idea ever.

The dance of the story and their attraction is mesmerizing to watch. I found that once I had started I couldn’t stop reading until I knew how it all ended and when I finally reached the end I wanted more...so much MORE!

This story shows the amazing possibilities that AU can bring to us. Not only to look that the world of Twilight differently, but the characters too. I want more of Aro and Esme, together and with others. As vampires and human beings, exploring their emotional and sexual compatibility.

Jen - I can admit that the premise of The Sacrifice is hard to bear. It is absolutely gripping to read the AU results of the big vampire meet-up at the end of BD as imagined by Edward’sChipper. It’s astonishing to find the ensuing sex between Esme and Aro is hot and believable.

I have no doubt that canon Esme would do anything for her family, particularly for Carlisle. Her pain is heartwrenching. She stands strong before Aro--who is super creepy here--even though inside she’s scared and worried that she won’t be able to fool him because of his gift.

As much as Aro holds the power in this hostage situation, he’s also desperate for something Esme has. Not only her body, which he surely wants, but he is desperate to understand what it was that kept the Cullens together and loyal to one another for so long. Aro makes himself vulnerable by stating that he doesn’t want to force her, that he just wants to feel what it feels like to receive her love. When Aro stands naked before her, she is the one with the power, because Aro is just struck dumb looking at her, wanting her.

You’d think that there wouldn’t be any sexual tension, since the situation is manufactured, but there is. You can practically see the air between them crackling. It’s completely unconventional, but they are making love; Esme is showing him what love is. While her heart remains true, she does feel a softness toward Aro.

The Sacrifice is quite an amazing o/s. Put aside any reservations you may have, and check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

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Centuries of Practice
by
GreenPuma
AU, O/S, Bella/Carlisle
Summary
Of three things I was absolutely certain. 1: I got off on licking Isabella Swan; 2: Some part of her—I wasn't sure how prominent—got off on it too; 3: If that girl didn't stop showing up alone in my study, she'd find herself rightly and thoroughly fucked.

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Jess - Carlisle and Bella together is a guilty little pleasure. Of all the non-canon pairings, this one is my absolute favorite. There’s something naturally rich and intense in their interactions, and in the movies, in particular, we see this natural attraction come to life in the post-stitch up scene in New Moon. The tension between these two - the way his hands gently work to stitch her up, the subtle and penetrating looks they give each other, the softness of their conversation that delves into deepness, the clear affection and high regard they have for each other - literally draws you in and makes you wonder: What if...?

What if Carlisle really desired Bella, and she him? What if things were a little more *ahem* open between vampires? What if Bella’s couldn’t take Edward’s rejection of her and her needs in his quest for purity? What if they never left Forks after the incident? What if Edward kept Bella at arms length and opened the door for the others to explore their feelings for her? What if some of them actually gave in to those desires? What if all it took was a single lick?

Well, GreenPuma goes there. In spades. She creates an AU world that explores all of these questions in a way that left me panting and tingling from the minute Carlisle first licks Bella’s arm.

Their tension between these two is so palpable, and as they begin to explore the questions that have been plaguing her, along with their respective feelings, it only increases. There are so many great scenes in this short story, and I don’t want to take away from any of them, but this little interchange shows how their connection intensifies and changes things forever:

"Bella," I warned, as she ran the bloody finger wondrously across my bottom lip, "I am merely a reliever of pain."

Though I licked the blood from her finger, I said a great deal with my eyes.

I want you—badly—but I will not be your distraction. This can't be about revenge.

"I think we both know you're more than that."

And boy do they, because what happens next is enough to knock your socks off and leave praying for more. I absolutely adored this one-shot, and it will definitely be my go-to happy spot when I need a little Bella/Carlisle lovin’.

Chele - It takes just one line to make my brain go to a happy place:

”Are vampires monogamous?"

For those of us who love a little Carlisle/Bella action, the New Moon post-party stitch up scene was like our own personal brand of heroin. The sexual tension was palpable, and when it didn’t end with Bella bent over the desk (yeah yeah, we know... canon and shizz) we immediately ran to FFN looking for someone who could rectify the ache we’d been left with. GreenPuma has taken care of that little ache, as well as given me an AU I wish was canon.

She does not stop there, however, but takes things to an altogether more awesome level with the introduction of blood play. Just a taste, as it were. The UST makes me squirm, and sexy Carlisle made me want a little time to myself. This is one of my favorite AU one shots ever. Want more. Will beg.

Jeanne - Someone, Quick grab a hose and put out the fire in my pants!!! When I saw New Moon I was aching to have Carlisle/Bella AU fic that would realize the sex potential of this pairing. The UST in that scene was electric. That moment of unintentional (or maybe intentional) chemistry is the stuff that AU fan fiction is made for. It is all about taking that moment and expanding on it to create something beautiful, sexy and new. That is exactly what GreenPuma did with Centuries of Practice.

Here we see a slightly different, little more NC-17 version of the Twilight universe. Where Bella’s obvious attraction to Carlisle isn’t a footnote, but one of the fundamental reason she belongs in the Cullen family. Also, in this delightful world the word ‘family’ takes on a whole new meaning. After all when you’re living with bunch of bored, mega hot, sexy as fuck vampires what else are you going to do to pass the time? Oh yeah, she goes there in a big fucking way.

Centuries of Practice is the quintessential fic pick for this post. It shows how a moment from canon can open our minds to not only seeing the romantic potential of pairing two unlikely partners, but it shows the believability of multiple ‘non-canon pairings’ set within a very close to canon world. I wish there was more chapters for this story, in fact I wish more writers would just expand on the simple idea that the Cullen’s partner swap. What a sexy fucking fic challenge would that be? UNF!

I don’t know about you, but I think I need some alone time with that thought. ;)

Jen - My love for the Carlisle/Bella pairing started with New Moon AUs such as Centuries of Practice. I just re-read it for the first time in a while, and it’s still as captivating and seductive as I remember it.

When I say seductive, I’m not only referring to the mutual seduction that Carlisle and Bella engage in, but also the way that the impeccable pacing of this o/s seduces the reader. GreenPuma reels us in slowly, like the spider and its web draw their prey in. Each time Bella returns to Carlisle with an injury I found myself holding my breath for a moment, wondering if this would be the time someone would snap. The build of the tension is practically as erotic as all of the licking Carlisle does. By the time they actually start feeling each other’s body and kissing I was a quivering, needy mess.

The other thing I absolutely adore about Centuries of Practice is the concept that the Cullens are not monogamous, and that they engage in sex with other members of the coven. That’s the stuff of Team Anything Goes wet dreams, and the little taste of it that . GreenPuma gives us is intoxicating.

I can’t say enough about Centuries of Practice. It’s so freaking full of UNF and thought provoking too.