Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

What are pap smears for? Do you need it if you're still a virgin? I've done stuff before, but not had penetrative sex... do I still need it?
And what about cervical cancer?

A Pap smear is a diagnostic test that checks the cervix for unhealthy cells. During a pelvic exam, your physician takes a small brush, inserts it into the opening of the cervix, and gently scrapes the surface to collect cervical cells. These cells are smeared onto a microscope slide so they can be reviewed by a lab technician, who can determine whether or not there are cellular irregularities present.

Pap smears can show if you have an infection or cervical cancer; it can even find cells that are precursors to cancer. Every woman over the age of 21 should have a Pap smear, regardless of whether or not they're sexually active. If you're having sex regularly before age 21, you should start getting Pap smears. Pap smears are the best way to diagnose and treat cervical cancer in its early stages.

Starting from age 21, most women should have Pap smears every 2 years. This should continue until you are 65, even if you've gone through menopause. When you reach age 65, you should confer with your physician about how often you need to get Pap smears. If you've had a complete hysterectomy, including removal of your cervix, you don't need to get Pap smears.

Women who have weakened immune systems (i.e., you're having chemo, you're on long term steroid use, or you've had an organ transplant), women whose mothers took Diethylstilbestrol (DES) while they were pregnant, or women with HIV) might need to get more frequent Pap smears. If you have any of those conditions, please consult with your physician about how frequently you should get Pap smears.

If caught in the early stages, cervical cancer is highly treatable. Most cervical cancers are caused by HPV (Human papillomaviruses). There are more than 100 different types of HPV; about 40 of them are transmitted sexually. Certain types of HPV cause cervical cancer. The best way to avoid contracting HPV is to practice safe sex by using condoms, and getting the vaccine Gardasil. The vaccine protects you against the four most common types of HPV that cause cervical cancer.

I'm very glad you dislike using the word strange when it comes to genitalia, but this is something I haven't heard mentioned anywhere and it's worrisome. When I've felt inside myself with my fingers, I've reached a part that feels a little like my vagina has morphed into a penis on the inside. In my reading up, I suppose it's my cervix, but, well, it's not like the end of a canal so much as if you pull the toe of a sock inside the sock. It's floppy- I can feel around it, it is moveable.

Really, should I be worried? I have no discomfort, I'm a frequent self-pleasurer and I haven't had much sexual experience with another person. My recent (and very experienced) lover was once down there with his fingers, though, and he went "Ooh, what's this random thing?" :-/. WORRYFACE

Despite the issue you have described, Naughty Nurse Kimpy stands by her stance to avoid words like "strange" and "abnormal." So, unless your cervix is actually hanging out the opening of your vagina, or dragging on the ground, I'm not going to get really worked up about it. In nature, there are so many variations in shapes and sizes of all body parts, and that can include the cervix. Look at it this way--you might just have the cervical equivalent of a really huge rack. That can't be a bad thing, right?

Structurally, the cervix is the bottom of your uterus and protrudes into your vagina. As such, it could be that your uterus just happens to protrude further into your vagina than is typical for most women. The most important piece of information you've given me is that you have no physical discomfort regarding your cervix, and that's important. Pain usually indicates that something unusual is going on, such as an infection or inflammation.

My guess is that you either have a large cervix, or some kind of benign growth, like a uterine fibroid, a polyp, or a cyst. I encourage you to consult with you physician about it. In most cases, it needs no intervention at all. For some cysts or growths, they can easily be removed by your gynecologist. Please, please, please get rid of your worryface--there is no need to be wearing it. Be proud of your hot rack. I mean, cervix. :)

Ok, I'm sure this question has been asked before but here I go...I've heard that shaving your body (be it your special place, underarms or legs) will make it grown back thicker and quicker. I shave under my arms and my legs and it seems to be ok, maybe an extra hair here or there and I've been considering starting to shave down there...Will it grown back quicker and thicker? I hope you can debunk this myth for me Naughty Nurse Kimpy!

The old adage that shaving will make your hair grow back thicker and more rapidly is nothing but an urban legend. It seems like the hair is thicker because the tip of the hair strand is blunt from having been shaved off. This can give the appearance that the strand is thicker, but it truly isn't. Does it grow back more quickly? No. The hair continues to grow back at the same rate of growth, but it seems faster because you've only removed the hair down to the surface of your skin. It takes less time for hair to emerge through the skin if it's been shaved as opposed to plucked out from the hair follicle. Think about it in the same terms that you would weed removal. If you tear off a dandelion from above ground, the root system is still intact, and the dandelion simply grows back. If you dig up the the dandelion from its roots, however, it has to start the growth process all over again, which takes a longer period of time.

When it comes to shaving your girlie bits, you need to be prepared to do maintenance more frequently than if you wax or use a hair removal cream, because you aren't removing the hair's root. You can also get more ingrown hairs if you shave versus pluck the hair from the root. I've gone back into the Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy archives for our primer on Bare Kitties 101--check it out for the skinny on how to keep your cooter bare.

What do I need to know about waxing/shaving my girly parts? Do I HAVE to get someone else to do it for me? Is there chance of infection? None of my girlfriends do it so I can't hear about their experiences but I imagine it to be utterly painful and a hassle to maintain.

1. First, please refer to the previous question for the link to bare kitties. It is very helpful.

2. No, you don't have to have someone else do it for you, but it is far easier that way. If you've ever tried to pull wax off your own kitty, you'd understand exactly what I'm talking about. It's like trying to give yourself an injection--your brain doesn't want to let you do it. Trust.

3. Whenever you play around with removing things from your skin, there is a risk of infection--that includes if you shave, pluck, or wax. Whenever you get waxed in a salon, there is a risk of infection if they use the same wax basin for more than one person. Check with the salon first about their policies regarding waxing before you choose to go there, so that you can be informed about the level of risk you face.

4. Waxing is definitely painful, and any type of cooter hair removal requires a level of commitment to maintain. Waxing will give you the longest lasting bare kitty results, but there's obviously a cost associated with that maintenance. You basically need to assess how committed you are to maintaining the bare kitty results, and go from there. The bottom line? If you find that you're fed up with keeping your kitty bare, you can always choose to let it grow back. There's no law against changing your mind, or keeping your kitty bare intermittently; you don't need to worry about the Cooter Police arriving to assess your level of bareness. Promise.

I need your advice on ingrown hairs. I've got a lot in the pubic region and they seem to never cease. It's like I can't get a moment of peace down there. I don't know if there's different classifications but they look like zits. I have scars from picking at them and it's just not a pretty sight down there. So 1. How do I stop them from happening and 2. I am insecure about anyone being down there.
PS I am a virgin so that hasn't been a problem yet.

I'm going to assume that you're getting ingrown hairs because you shave or wax your lady bits. If this assumption is incorrect, please let me know, and I can answer your question a bit differently.

An ingrown hair is one that curls back into your skin, or grows into your skin sideways. It's most commonly seen in people who have curly hair, or with pubic hair. This is frequently accompanied by an inflammation/infection of the hair follicle, which does end up looking similar to a zit.

The best way to avoid ingrown hairs is to properly prepare your skin surface before you shave. Use plenty of shaving cream, don't shave over the same surface more than once, and don't press down against your skin as you shave--you should lightly glide the razor over your skin. Also, try not to shave against the grain or direction of hair growth.

When the inevitable ingrown hairs appear, I recommend that you do several different things:

1. Exfoliate daily using a loofah or body sponge/scrubber. Avoid using any type of body wash exfoliator, as it can irritate your sensitive skin.

2. After shaving or waxing, treat the skin to a lotion designed to prevent ingrown hairs, one that includes glycolic or salicylic acid.

3. Treat all ingrown hairs with a formula designed to deal with them. Some good products include Dr. Earles Razor Bump Lotion, The Art of Shaving Night Cream, or Bliss Ingrown Eliminating Pads.

4. The most important piece of advice I can give you? DO. NOT. PICK. Ever. Your fingers are full of germs, and you'll only make your skin more irritated by picking at it. If you *must* touch it, make sure that you wash your hands first, then soften the skin and open your pores by placing a warm wash cloth over the affected area. Use a disinfected pair of tweezers to gentlyfree the hair from under the skin. Once you've liberated the hair strand, I recommend that you pluck it out with your tweezers, thus avoiding it growing back with a blunt end.

In terms of being insecure about how your lady bits look due to scarring, there are over the counter products that can help fade the scars for you. The best known remedy is Mederma.

No matter what your lady bits look like, I encourage you to get over your self-consciousness. Your quirks and differences make you who you are, a unique individual unlike anyone else. If you run across a lover who can’t appreciate those differences, scars included, then they probably aren’t the right person for you.

Do you have a question for Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy.



Anonymous said...

Love, love your column wish it had existed in my youth but one thing… everyone recommends porn as a tool to help get someone in the mood yet offers no suggestions as to what to watch. If I could be so bold might I make some suggestions?

Most people are turned of fby the ugly men and the plastic bodies found in a lot of porn so people give up on it but look here are some suggestions for a newbie to try and as you grow and become more comfortable with your self you can start searching for what turns you on the internet is a great place to find it

1) Scent Of Desire (Le Parfum du Desir) - This is French film which has been dubbed in English I don’t bother switching to the English version cause its not like I’m watching for the dialog. It shows young beautiful people having sex in and around a French mansion out in the country. The opening scene has a long strand of pearls that is just Unf!

2) Tiffany Thompson is a young porn actress she has released some short videos some no more than 20 min long aka Teenagers in Love. The shots are loving beautiful and show an idealized version of sex but it does the job of getting you nice and bothered. Some of them can be found for free on redtube.

3) Stoya is another young porn actress her films show some light fetish sex and idealized rough sex that just barely touches BDSM. She also has a big grin while having sex which makes it look like she is really enjoying herself. The movie Workaholic is a good place to start.

4) Private Independent An Open Invitation A Real Swingers Party in San Francisco-LKRG - This follows a couple as they discover the joys of swinging and it ends at a real swinging party so you see real people with real bodies enjoy sex.

5) is a free service where a person can view clips of porn films what ever your heart desires you will find it there. Clips can fun from a minute long to 30 minute or more. You can preview the clips before you click on them just by holding your mouse over the clip it can be bandwidth heavy so its always a good idea to preview before clicking.

6) I’ve found that the movies here are a bit more romantic than the average porn. This is a pay service but again you can find free clips on redtube so you can preview to see if the subscription is worth it.

How bout a column with different porn recommendations?

kimpy0464 said...

Your comments are timely and perfect--I'm tackling this issue in next week's column and will be sure to share all of this information with my readers. Thank you so much for taking the time to make these awesome recommendations!