Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 1-26-12

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER: The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

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Is there anything I can take to increase vaginal lubrication? I'm pretty sure I heard soy beans or something like that can help, but is this true? Obviously a woman needs to be comfortable and turned on to get it going, but I knowwww[sic] I'm getting turned on and IIII've[sic] never had myself get so wet that I soak through my panties and drip down my thighs like I've read in fic. Is THAT for real?!

*Naughty Nurse Kimpy lets out a deep sigh* As much as she loves the idea of women claiming their sexual selves via the Fandom, it makes her feel very dejected when it causes women to question themselves because they don’t respond like a fictional character does. Trust, she’s not blaming you for feeling that your own sexual responses are inadequate, she’s just sad that you’ve been made to feel that they are.

First things first here. Is it possible for a woman to get wet enough to soak through panties or drip down her thighs? In a nutshell, yes. There are many women who’ve soaked through their panties before. Less common is being so wet it actually makes it onto your thighs. As you can imagine, there are women who fall all along the spectrum of vaginal wetness, from very dry to overly moist. Despite being very different from one end to the other, it’s all considered to be within normal limits.

There are many different reasons why some women produce more vaginal lubrication than others. Some of the biggest contributors to a diminished amount of wetness are changes in hormone levels that occur during menopause, after childbirth, or while breastfeeding. Estrogen is the girl responsible for keeping your cooter moist; it’s possible that you might just have naturally low estrogen levels that are contributing to your lubrication issue. Nurse Kimpy suggests that you discuss this with your gynecologist at your next annual visit.

While estrogen levels and life changing events can play a role in diminished vaginal lubrication, there can be other culprits at work, too. Things that are as seemingly benign as tampons and excessive exercise can also play a role in increasing vaginal dryness. Certain medications (think anithistamines or diuretics), a high level of stress, or even condoms (if you’re sensitive to latex) can also weigh in. If you use tampons, you might want to try using pads for a few months to see if that helps, or you could purchase a Diva Cup. This is a great option because it dramatically reduces the amount of waste you generate, and could actually help your lady bits to stay moist. Nurse Kimpy can’t say enough good things about Diva Cups. They are complete and total win.

As far as soy is concerned, the jury is still out. It certainly won’t hurt you to eat a diet rich in soy, but it probably won’t make much of a difference in terms of vaginal lubrication. However, there are several different types of artificial lubrication that might be just the thing your lady bits need. One of the best solutions for overall dryness is a product called Replens. The great thing about it is that the lubrication lasts for three days. It’s also safe to use with condoms. You don’t need to use it just when you have sex--you use it on a schedule, every 3 days, and you should have enough wetness whenever it’s called for.

Another good lubricant is Carageenan. It’s derived from marine algae. It’s also water-based and safe to use with condoms. Unlike Replens, this lubricant is one you use as you need it, but it is long-lasting and women who use it report that it is the most similar in texture to real vaginal lubrication.


Finally, there is a long-lasting lubricant made by KY called Liquibeads. They are oval-shaped beads you insert into your vagina, preferably at night. They release lubrication gradually over the course of 3-4 days, so they last as long as Replens. Liquibeads are fragrance free and easy to use.

Please get back to me if none of these things works. Nurse Kimpy is always willing to dig into a problem, no matter how challenging it may seem. May the wetness be with you!

I know this must sound weird.. but I have been for a while with this guy I like very much and (even though I'm no virgin) I just don't want to have sex yet. I have go down on him several times.. even upside-down.. have used my breast.. even porn.. but I'm afraid it's just starting to get boring.. and I'm out of ideas.. Is there anything else we could do.. outside sex?

Hmm. Naughty Nurse Kimpy respects that you want to pace yourself before you actually go all the way with your guy, and she commends you for setting limits about how far you’re willing to go right now. That being said, she needs to strongly urge you to relax. It seems like you are trying to apologize with your body for not going all the way. You’re trying to be exciting in a way that will hold his interest, but it’s too much. You don’t need to dazzle him with fireworks to keep him around. Nurse Kimpy gets the impression that your particular brand of sexual overkill stems from a lack of confidence. Just be yourself. That’s certainly good enough, and no one could, or should, expect anything more from you.

Instead of trying to ramp things up and be incredibly creative, Naughty Nurse Kimpy encourages you to simplify. You’d be surprised at how exciting that can be. Focus on things like the sensation of touch. Watch your finger trace a path up his arm, and see the response it makes along the surface of his skin. Lick his ear and gently blow in it. Leave your clothes on, and drag your fingertips along his cock. Run your fingertip along the waistband of his jeans, just above his boxers. Do some good old dry-humping. As much as wearing little to no clothing can be provocative, sometimes what you can’t directly see, or what you can’t directly touch, can be so much more erotic. Give that a try next time. Nurse Kimpy bets you’ll drive him wild.

I know u don't like questions about hymen, but the thing is I lost my virginity last night and I'm a little worried about the bleeding. It hurt a lot to be honest. It's been 12 hours since the act but i keep on finding blood stains on my underwear. Is not as when i get my period, not even close, but they are still there. I thought the bleeding only happened during the act. So, how many hours or days of bleeding is considered normal??? Should I worry?

Before she says anything else, Naughty Nurse Kimpy has something every important to tell you: DON’T. PANIC.

Nurse Kimpy feels like she needs to clarify something... it isn’t that she hates questions about the hymen per se, she just gets a bit miffed that people make such a huge deal out of something that is merely a small piece of skin.

Losing your virginity is a unique experience--no one feels quite the same way when it happens. For some people, it’s merely uncomfortable, for others, it’s very painful. I’m sorry that you drew the short end of the stick, but the good news is that it will get better each subsequent time you have sex. The first is the worst.

The fact that you’re still experiencing bleeding 12 hours later isn’t unusual. You had trauma to some pretty sensitive tissue. Not only that, but the vagina and vulva are filled with blood vessels, which makes it incredibly easy for them to bleed. The extent of bleeding varies from woman to woman. Some women don’t even bleed at all. Others can bleed or spot for days.

Pay attention to the amount of bleeding. If it’s enough to soak through more than a pantiliner, it’s possible that you’re having your period on top of losing your virginity. If you bleed enough to require a tampon or pad, it’s probably best to visit with your gynecologist just to make sure there isn’t something else going on.

Keep in mind that it takes time for the torn hymen to heal. It’s possible that the friction from rubbing against your underwear might be prolonging your bleeding. If you want to soothe the skin, you can use something gentle, like Aquaphor, to keep it moist and prevent it from chafing against your underwear. If you go that route, just be sure to choose something that’s designed for sensitive skin and is fragrance free. The skin covering your lady bits is very sensitive.

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