Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy 3/29/12

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to asks someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER:

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educationalpurposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace theadvice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to beincomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to yourdoctor.

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Faithful ANNK reader and owner of all kinds of awesome sex trivia knowledge bjr70 brought something important to our attention this week: the HPV vaccine not only guards against genital warts, but also many prevent the recurrence of precancerous conditions in cervical tissue. Find out more about the findings here. If you’ve been sitting on the fence about whether or not to get the vaccine, Naughty Nurse Kimpy’s stance is that everyone--adolescent girls and boys, and young women and men--should get the shot. For more specific information on the HPV vaccine and the current recommendations, visit the website.

For the reader who had a question about excessive sweating last week, Naughty Nurse Kimpy totally forgot to mention one thing--some individuals have been using Botox to control their sweat glands. If you have the means to do the injections, that could be an option for you, too.

Hello! Here's another virginity/hymen question for you, however this one comes more from my boyfriend. Though we have been talking about having sex for a while, he has never been been with a virgin before, and I think he is really worried about hurting me. He is constantly asking me if I'm still intact and how to tell. I've told him that, while I'm not completely certain, because I used to be a gymnast and a dancer and I've used tampons since I was 12, I'm mostly likely not still intact. While it's not a big deal to me whether I still have my hymen or not, he still seems really concerned. I have no idea how to reassure him that I'll be ok no matter what the state of my hymen is. Any suggestions?

Since Naughty Nurse Kimpy did a feature on the hymen in honor of the Breaking Dawn, Part I premiere, she wants you to have your boyfriend read that post. If he’s still all nervous and worried, come back and ask some more questions. Remind him that women have been losing their hymens for as long as women have walked the earth, and that you are no different from any other woman in that respect. Nurse Kimpy is fairly certain everything will be just fine.

I'm a 52 y/o male. My wife and I had a very athletic sex life. In 1995 I was injured in a car wreck. Back surgery. Trunk cast. PT. You name it. Anyway, we would be doing the thing (that was many moons ago). I'd be ready to let loose but just couldn't get "there". Then I'd lose my erection. I get rock hard when I sleep and when i wake from sleep I could hang my clothes from it. What gives?

First of all, welcome, male reader--it’s good to know that Nurse Kimpy can supply helpful information for readers of any gender. Thank you for being brave enough to ask what has to be a difficult question.

Experiencing issues with erections--how easily you get them, how long they last, how easily they wax and wane--is invariably a double-edged sword. You can experience genuine mechanical issues which might be only temporary, but when your brain decides to have a go at the subject, it can make matters far worse. Nurse Kimpy has always emphasized that the brain is the most important organ when it comes to having sex. Once you start to worry about getting an erection, or keeping an erection, you can become entangled in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy suspects that with your back injury, you also injured some nerves that supply feeling and responsiveness to your penis. Those nerves might be permanently damaged, or maybe they’re working on repairing themselves. Since Nurse Kimpy is neither a neurologist or a urologist, she recommends that you consult with a doctor about your issue. The fact that you experience erections is encouraging, especially given the *ahem* strength of your morning wood. There are so many things that can be done for erectile dysfunction, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to benefit from a consultation with a physician.

While you’re waiting for your doctor’s appointment, Nurse Kimpy suggests that you try to go easier on yourself when it comes to waxing and waning erections. If you give yourself permission to have a varied response, it might take some or the performance anxiety away. You could also take advantage of that awesome morning wood of yours and have sex when your peen is imitating teak wood. As they always say, go with your strengths.

One last word: try a cock ring. They can do wonders for maintaining an erection. Trust. Cock rings come with the Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy seal of approval.

Hello, ANNK! Still loving the blog, as always, and I would first just like to say how much I appreciate you answering our questions! It makes me feel better about a lot of things at a very stressful time in my life (college years).

My question is in regards to the menstrual cycle. About a week or so after my period ends, I get this discharge that's somewhat thick and almost gel-like and stretchy and white-ish in color. Is this a regular occurrence for women, or am I just *special*? I've looked it up before, but most things just say it happens when a girl gets her period for the first time. I just turned 20, so this is definitely not the case. Is it something to be concerned about? Or am I freaking myself out for nothing?

Naughty Nurse Kimpy is pleased to be able to alleviate some of your college stressors via her snappy answers. Thank you for your kind compliments.

The short answer to your question: you’re freaking yourself out for nothing. What you describe above is exactly the way the female reproductive system operates. As your body cycles between periods, your hormone levels rise and fall. Based upon these hormonal fluctuations, the consistency of your cervical mucus changes. Everything your reproductive system does is based on one sole purpose--getting pregnant.

As your hormone levels change after your period, the process starts building up again toward ovulation. After your period, there isn’t much cervical mucus produced. As soon as your egg begins to ripen in the ovary, your cervical mucus increases in amount and consistency. As you described, this mucus can be white to yellow-white, cloudy, and sticky. Its purpose is actually to impede getting pregnant, because your egg isn’t ready yet.

When you ovulate, your cervical mucus changes once again. It becomes thinner in consistency, clear, and slippery. The reason the mucus changes is to aid in ovulation. It’s easier for sperm to reach their destiny when this kind of mucus is prevalent.

If an egg goes unfertilized, the cervical mucus will taper off, and you’ll have very little by the time your period arrives. This cycle continues, unbroken, until you become pregnant. It will continue this way until you reach menopause.

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