Monday, March 12, 2012

Team Angst: Practice to Deceive


Team Angst is a constantly changing teams, depending on who can handle the angst levels of the Team Angst pick. Only the bravest (or craziest) Pervs tackle the tears and pain to bring you the best angst and heartfail that fan fic has to offer. Non-canon pairings? No problem. Cheating and Break-ups? No sweat. Character death? Bring it! It’s all in a days work for Team Angst. So if you think you’re tough enough put on your big girl pants, take a seat and join us for the Team Angst Pick.

The Team Angst Pick is...

Practice to Deceive
Author: Livie79
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,075
Reviews: 925
Summary: I saw her today. I wasn't impressed. But he wanted her, and that was enough for me. He would feel what I felt. She was just collateral damage. AH ExB


From the very beginning, you will know that this one is a heart shredder.

I can’t say I’m normally a fan of “Asshole Edward,” but there’s something devastatingly intriguing about this story. Edward is undoubtedly a misguided, ignorant, stupid guy when he formulates his plan to use Bella as revenge, but there’s something in the way he was before that keeps me reading. There was a time that he was a regular frat boy, enjoying college life and friendships the way he should have been. He didn’t think his girlfriend was the perfect woman, but they’d been together long enough that he believed they would have a future together. (Come on, we’ve all known someone who settled that way. Hell, some of us are that person.) Then it all came crashing down around him. It made him change. It made him bitter and spiteful, to the point he wanted revenge for the betrayal he felt.

I won’t say this was a good idea. It wasn’t. But we’re all human and have made idiotic decisions, believing they would make us feel better in the end, and that’s Edward to a T.

So what’s the problem? He falls for the girl he was using for revenge...then he realizes what an epic asshole he’s been. He knows he should walk away before someone outs him, but the heart and the head are not often in agreement.

This is gritty and difficult to read at times, but it’s a train wreck you can’t help but watch. There really is something between Edward and Bella, though, and as a reader, I can’t help but hope she can do something to take him back to the good guy he used to be. One has to wonder if he’ll ever get his chance after reading the prologue, though.

Either way, I’m going to enjoy hot-as-fuck tidbits like this:

I pushed up and stared down at her wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Motherfucker, she was smokin'. Her legs were long and smooth, her stomach flat, her waist curved in slightly and her tits were fucking perfect. Not those huge fake fucking things, but real and soft.

She slid her hand across her stomach and drummed her fingers over her belly button. I looked at her face, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"You gonna just stand there and stare? Make me take care of this myself?" She sassed, like the smart ass she was.

"No fucking way." I laughed and pulled my shirt over my head.

I licked my lips and crawled over her, reaching around her back and popping the clasp of her bra.

Proceed with caution, sweet pervlings... It’s good, but it’s going to hurt!

Can a relationship built on revenge and lies ever survive? That is the question Livie79 is tackling here. This is one of those runaway train stories that you know is going to crash but the journey makes it so fascinating.

I have an intense love hate relationship with this Edward. You can see his pain and the real person underneath all the emotional bullshit he’s hiding behind. You can see the love and caring he had for his family and friends, but he’s a shell of that guy. Then a revenge plot brings a strong willed woman in to his world and that shell starts to crack. He’s forced to work for something that while at first is driven by hate turns in to something unexpected for him. I love the growth of characters and this story is interesting because we see the demise of his character and then watch him really change and start to see how unhealthy his new “outlook” on life is. What it’s truly doing to him by letting his hurt and anger lead his life.

The budding love story is chock full of UST and sexiness no matter how hard they both fight against it in the beginning. The lies are building as the walls of self preservation start to crumble and they are giving in to their desires.

She smirked and reached for the edge of the towel, the tips of her fingers ghosting over the top of the rolled towel and dipping down. My stomach muscles clenched, causing a gap between me and the towel. Bella curved her fingers in between and tugged slightly.

"Maybe I was hoping to find you exactly like this," she whispered and pulled until I was brushing against her chest.

"And what exactly did you plan on doing with me once you found me?" I asked, my breaths coming in short bursts. I could already feel my erection pressing against the towel, and I knew there was no fucking way she missed that shit.

"A little of this," she sang and rolled up on the balls of her feet, kissing me lightly on my lips, "and a little of this." She pushed her chest completely against me, her leg sliding between mine and pressing fully against my dick. Fuck, she seriously was trying to kill me.

I slid my arm under hers and around her back, until my hand was pressed flat in the middle of her shoulders. I dipped my head down and swept my lips across hers, barely touching. I brushed them from side to side once more, before pressing them firmly against hers. The dry skin caught, tugged, before I snaked my tongue out and traced her bottom lip, moistening it. She parted her lips, and I let my tongue drift over the bottom of her teeth before pushing into her mouth and tangling our tongues together, tasting her.

I wanted to be inside her so fucking bad. And knowing she was single and was with me without anything or anyone in the background made it so much fucking worse. Our teeth knocked together as she flexed the fingers holding the towel and wrapped her other hand around my back, her nails digging into my bare flesh.

I pulled back slightly, my erection pressing into her stomach, her chest heaving against mine. "God, Bella. Fuck. What are you doing?"

"I missed you, Stalker. And I can't be held responsible for my actions when you're standing here practically naked," she breathed, grinding against me.

"Fuck," I hissed. My dick was so sensitive it was painful.

From the prologue alone we know this isn’t going to be an easy journey, but I have to say I’m loving watching it unfold.


Two wrongs never make a right, or can they? Will Edward be able to get his way and have the girl? Or will there be a price to pay? This story does a great job of making me want to love and hate the game so much, and as I read each chapter I can’t decide how I want things to turn out. Will Edward be able to make up for his mistakes? Should he be allowed to? I am curious to read on and find out. :)

I love angst. I love stories where you know your heart’s about to pounded and stomped on, and yet you can’t walk away. From the prologue you know Practice to Deceive is going to be one of those stories. And man has it. With each update, I can feel all the events leading us back to the prologue, to the big discovery that Edward has been using Bella for revenge, that he’s a selfish asshole... you get the idea. It hurts. So good. And that’s why I love this story.

As Teal said, we’ve all been there, some of us probably still are, and yet we can’t seem to figure out how to get out of the downward spiral we’ve created for ourselves. In the last update, that pain was so much more acute. Edward’s thought processes and his character growth are so obvious, and yet, when he writes in his journal (something he does often to document his thoughts, feelings, plans...) it comes off sounding so bad. I cringed, because I know when Bella finds that, she’s going to read it and see someone that he (at least at this stage) no longer is. It’s a pot on the verge of boiling over and even by removing the lid or turning off the heat nothing is going to change the fact that she’s gonna blow (heh!)

And yet, I can’t bear to look away, because I see what Edward used to be and what he’s trying to become. His self-loathing and selfishness are painful, but he’s got tender moments, too, and that is what makes the whole thing worthwhile. This little bit here, I think, characterizes all the crazy feelings he has and how he justifies it all in his mind:

"Bella, wait."

"No, Edward. Like I said, I don't need excuses."

I slid in front of her, cupping her chin and tilting her face up so I could look at her. Her eyes were shining, her face and neck flushed.

"I'm not breaking up with you; you crazy, beautiful girl." I smiled softly, as she pulled her head back slightly to look at me fully.

"But you said..." she trailed off.

I slid my hand down her arm until I reached her hand and hooked my pinky around hers.

"I said I was a shitty boyfriend. I said nothing about being a saint. I'm far too selfish to do the right thing and let you go, so you can find someone who deserves you." I tugged her hand, pulling her behind me to the living room.

"So," she paused, "you're not breaking up with me?"

"No," I chuckled, feeling like shit for the secrets I knew I'd continue to keep from her. But the just wasn't an option.

As my fellow Pervs mentioned, the UST is off the charts and the sexy times are hot! Give this little story a read. Make sure you leave Livie79 some love. Tell her the Pervs sent you!


Jmcfall said...

I have read this every chapter and the analogy of a train wreck is spot on . Every time Edward speaks to Bella you want him to tell his story to fix it before it boils over, we know from the prologue that's not going to happen . It's a fantastic story .