Saturday, June 6, 2009

Contest Announcements

Welcome to a semi-new feature at the Perv Pack's Smut Shack – contest announcements. If you have a contest you'd like us to announce, please send it to me at

I will be posting the first and third Saturday of each month with expanded contest information, and updating the sidebar off to your right (---> over there), as well as Twitter when I hear of contests. Please note that these blog body posts are simply a copy/paste (with some minor HTML tweaks) of the contest information from the hostess(es), so any spelling or gramatical errors are all their own.

Since this is the first post, this will be a comprehensive list of all current/ongoing contests I have been made aware of, sorted by the end-date, from the soonest ending to the farthest away:

The Pirate Talking Twilight Contest – submission deadline June 12, 2009

Ahoy me hearties!

Ever wondered what a night on the seven seas would be like with your favorite Twilight pairing - or not so favorite Twilight pairing?

Well wonder no longer - WRITE IT!

From swashbuckling Captain Von Emmett's

To conniving Bronze Beard Edwards

From Bella the Busty Bar Wenche that runs the Golden Doubloon

To the Wondorous Witch of Lone Wolf Island, Madam Alice

Jake x Alice, Jasper x Rosalie, Edward x Leah or Canon Canon Canon KABOOM!

Vamp or Human, we want it all bb's!

Go Wild this Summer and have a JOLLY GOOD TIME

with a rum in one hand and a long sword in the other!

Contest Dates :Entries can be submitted up until 11pm Pacific Standard Time, 12th of June. There will be a weeks grace for those who need a chance to resubmit work and for everyone to get their read on, then Voting begins 19th June until 11pm PST, 3rd of July with Winners being announced on the 4th of July.

PRESENTS! There WILL be banners/Gif's individually made for those who have the good fortune of coming First, second or third. These shall reflect the content of your story and be a perfect for your Twilighted Siggy or any other place you choose to put it.

Contest Rules:

~ Maximum 3 entries per Author (including Colaborations)
~ Maximum 10,000 words, minimum 5000.
~ Must be full of citrusy goodness, but tasteful (ie no rape, incest, or over the top violence).
~ Must be a One Shot non related to any other story you currently are working on, may be continued once contest is complete.
~ Must include proper pirate terminology eg Ahoy thar me hearties!, Thar She Blows!
~ Upon submission, the entries will be reviewed by contest holders and upon approval (minimum 2 votes Yay to one Nay) will be added to the C2.
~ Please note the DUE date is the DUE date. No submissions will be taken after it.
~ Also note that the Judges vote is FINAL, entries will be read and voted upon submission by grammar, plot and Citrusy goodness, it's our contest, our rules. BUT! We will offer advice and revision tactics to entries that are declined, one resubmission is available.



The Pirate Talking Twilight Contest

Ahoy Thar Me Hearties! I brings to you the following argh...



Rating... what Rating? We're all grown ups here right?!

This one-shot is for the above mentioned contest held by the Fournikaton Foundation and its members Bemylullaby, Nostalgicmiss and Miztrezboo. Please see the Fournikation Foundation profile for details and other awesomeuberiffic entries located at the Fournikation Foundation's C2 (links on contest holders profiles also).
The Age of Edward Contest – submission deadline July 15, 2009

Hosted By: americnxidiot, Dollegirl, Kitschisme, Rosette-Cullen, Stacy . Bumblebee, and Vixen1836

The Age of Edward Contest will feature quality stories throughout various historical eras, ranging from ancient times up until the modern era.

The contest will begin June 1st, 2009

The contest will close July 15th, 2009.

Winners will be announced July 31st.

The six co-hosting authors – americnxidiot, Dollegirl, Kitschisme, Rosette-Cullen, Stacy . Bumblebee and Vixen1836 - will be serving as the judges for this contest. Selections will be chosen based on votes by readers.

Winners will each receive a prize for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place.

1st Place is an Edward Cullen Action Figure and a signature banner.

2nd Place is a custom made t-shirt with your choice of Twilight related phase and a signature banner.

3rd Place is a Twilight related gift and/or Edward paraphernalia and a signature banner.

Each of the judges will be writing an example entry to give you a general idea of what we are looking for, however the prompt is self-explanatory. Please consider grammar, character development, creativity, and adherence to the historical era you've chosen to write.


All entries must be all-human/alternate-universe.
All entries must be one-shots.
All entries must include smut/lemons, and therefore MUST be rated M
All entries must be between 3,000 and 12,000 words.


An author must have a fan fiction account, submit the story under their profile using the "add story" function. Once it is added, a private message should be sent to the Age of Edward profile to notify us of the submission. In the subject of the private message, please list the following:


The submissions can be from any point of view, although they must be in the context of the theme you choose and must feature Edward. They can take place in any historical era from Pre-history to the 1980's, so long as the story is reasonably accurate. Choices may include, but are not limited to these options below. Some examples are as follows:

Babylonian Empire Edward
Persian Empire Edward
Chinese Empire Edward
Egyptian Empire Edward
Ancient Greek Empire Edward
Roman Empire Edward
Celtic Edward
Viking Edward
Barbarian Edward
Pope Edward
King Edward
Medieval Edward
Crusader Edward
Braveheart Edward
Protestant Reformation Edward
Renaissance Edward
Colonial Edward
Elizabethan Edward
Enlightenment Edward
American Revolution Edward
French Revolution Edward
Wild West Edward
American Civil War Edward
Napoleanic Edward
Victorian Edward
WWI Edward
Russian Revolution Edward
20’s Gangster Edward
American Great Depression Edward
Irish Immigrant in United States Edward
Italian Immigrant in United States Edward
WWII Edward
50’s Edward
60’s Edward
70’s Edward
80’s Edward

All entries must feature the following heading:

Age of Edward Contest


Your pen name:

Type of Edward:

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest visit: The Age of Edward C2 Community

If you are a first time author, please notify us in the body of the email and say hello. :)

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us via PM or ageofedward (at) gmail (dot) com or through PM.

Thank you! Good luck and we're looking forward to reading your entries!
The Sparkle and Snark-Full Twilight Humor Contest - submission deadline July 19, 2009

“So, a Vampire, a Werewolf, and a Human Walk into a Bar…”
Rules and Regulations:

1. Um… it should attempt to be funny. HUMOR. Like if it’s all drama and then someone laughs inexplicably... No. And it needs to be about Twilight. Canon, AU, All-human are all fine. This isn't a lemon contest, but lemons are just fine.

2. Length is limited to 7k. This does not include title, any end notes, etc.

3. This contest is ANONYMOUS. If you violate this to pimp your own entry on your thread, profile, or whatever, I will DELETE you. That being said, pimping the contest is totally cool. Just don’t tell folks what you wrote.

4. The story must be original for this contest—no continuations or outtakes from other stories … otherwise it’s not really anonymous, is it?

5. Stories need to be emailed to

6. Contest opens June 7. Entries will be accepted until July 19 11:59 PM EST.

7. Voting via poll will begin July 22 and will close July 23 11:59 PM EST.

8. There will be special awards, too:

The Snarky Jake Award. Jake has a lot to be pissed off about. He was also one of the few characters in the series that was actually funny. Let it rip, ladies.

The Angry Jane Award. Jane Volturi decides that she wants to seduce one of the Cullens. Take this as you will. There are so many scenarios playing out in my head…

Funny Vampire Award. Just so you all won’t just write AH.

Other random awards may be assigned depending on the number of contest entries and the judges’ penchant for insanity. Who are the judges? The Ficster ladies plus yours truly.

9. Authors names and their associated stories will be announced immediately after polls close and before winners are posted.

10. Winners will receive an ego boost, adoration, and something random. Probably a banner.

11. It's LJ, so all bold and italics and underline and strikethrough must be formatted, e.g. bold and italics. Also, submit with the following headers:

Author: (either LJ, Fan Fiction, or Twilighted or all of the above)

12. If you want submit any funny art, that’s cool, too. We’d love to post it.
If you have questions, ask me. Either email me a the address above or send me a message via my LJ or FF account.


Ninapolitan said...

Can I just say how excited I am for the comedy contest!!!