Monday, February 8, 2010

Ella_B gets Acclimated with The Acclimation Diaries.


It’s hard for me to remember the days when I wasn’t a purvtastic, smut-loving ficster, yet it wasn’t that long ago that I turned the final page of “Breaking Dawn” and wailed, “What am I supposed to do now?!?!?” A Google search led me to Twilighted, which led me to stories that made my eyes widen and my panties happy. I owe my Twific deflowering to a few great stories, but one that I keep coming back to is The Acclimation Diaries by booboo_kitty.

The lemons throughout this story are phenomenal. I repeat…PHE-NOM-EN-AL! But for me, specifically, I love to reread Chapter 8.

The chapter is called “The Talk; Part Deux,” and for good reason. There are well-written sexy times, but it’s the dialogue that really gets the oonie going. It starts out with some great Cullen man banter (manter?) between Carlisle and Edward, with unsolicited input from a hilarious Emmett and Jasper…and quickly turns from funny to dirty.

“Hold up there hot rod,” Emmett said, grabbing my shirttail.

“What now?” I asked exasperated.

“How was it?” he asked, grinning.

>I was about to ask what ‘it’ was but I was suddenly bombarded with flashes of tongues and various female genitalia. An unintentional smile curled the corners of my mouth.

I closed my eyes and ran the tip of my tongue over my top lip, faint traces of Bella’s flavor lingered on my skin. “Amazing,” I heard myself say before I realized I was actually speaking out loud.

I opened my eyes to see Emmett and Jasper staring intently at me.

“Can you still taste her?” Jasper barely whispered.

Sucking my bottom lip into my mouth I nodded, the sweet tang of Bella was stronger here.

The fact that Edward’s brothers, who have decades of experience with their wives, are panting over his first intimate taste of Bella makes this SO HOT. Can’t you just picture Jasper’s quiet drawl whispering, “Can you still taste her?” Ungh…

The amazing dialogue continues in one of the sexiest scenes I’ve ever read. Bella and Edward find themselves alone in their meadow, and he decides to take the advice his brothers have given him — to start talking dirty to Bella, and perhaps even utter an expletive every once in a while. As Emmett tells him, “Bella will lose her shit.” Well, she does…and so did I.
“Well, you see, now that I’ve tasted you,” I slid a single finger along the seam between her legs, gently pressing the fabric against her, making sure she knew what part of her I was referring to. “It’s all I can think about.”

She moaned my name and pressed her hips against my hand but I’d already moved it up her body. I made short work of the few buttons that held her blouse closed, forcing myself to work each piece of plastic through the holes instead of just ripping the garment from her body like I wanted to.

I drew my lips up the center of her chest to her ear, flicking the soft flesh of her lobe with my tongue.

“Do you know what you taste like to me, Bella?”

“No,” she breathed.

“Would you like me to tell you?” I smiled against her warm, sweet skin.

“Please,” she whimpered.
As Bella whimpered her pleas, I found myself doing the same to my computer screen. I think because this is canon, and I always wished canon Edward would allow himself to loosen up a bit, it makes the sex talk much more delicious. I’m such a sucker for a dirty talkin’ Edward! So, exactly how does Bella taste, smutty little Eddie?
“It’s quite funny really,” I started, moving along her jaw to the other side. “You taste like some of the few things I remember when I was human. Right here,” I licked the tender flesh just behind her ear, “you taste like homemade strawberry jam, while it’s still warm.”

I nuzzled against her breast, nudging the satin aside to lave my tongue over her pebbled little nipple.

“Right here,” I drew the hard little bud into my mouth, minding my teeth, and suckled her, drawing the tiniest hint of blood just under the surface, leaving a light purple mark. I pulled back and inspected my work, bending my head to kiss the mark oh so gently. “Right here, like wild strawberries in the sun, sweet and new and untouched.”

My fingers unbuttoned her pants in record time. If I didn’t get some part of me inside her fast, I was going to lose my mind.

She gasped as my hand practically plunged into her open jeans, palming her before sinking one finger into her sweet warmth, puncturing a hole right through her panties. I made a mental note so snatch them for my collection at the first chance I got.

“Right here,” I breathed through my clenched my teeth as her body accommodated me, molding around the digit in a warm wet caress as I slid my finger in and out of her a couple of times. “This is where you taste the sweetest. Here, you taste like my most favorite dessert. The one human thing that I craved on occasion after I was turned.”

Faster than I thought I could even move, I extradited her from her pants and underwear. Her bare legs trembled as I sat between them, staring at her.

I placed a hand on either side of hips and slowly lowered my head toward her body. I kissed all around her, circling the source of that delicious heat and flavor as I described how she taste.

“Here, you taste just like ripe,” kiss, “sweet,” kiss, “juicy,” kiss, “strawberries and whipped cream on a hot summer day.” My tongue lolled out of my mouth and I slowly licked her up her entire center. “Mmmm, fuck that’s good.” I growled.
As I said before, this entire story is full of well-written lemons, starting from the first exploratory fumblings of a couple “practicing,” to their honeymoon and beyond. They’re so good, in fact, that I had to find out how booboo_kitty managed to keep the scenes so realistic, sexy, and most of all, different.

She says, “I'm a huge perv, admittedly so, and I just write what I see in my head and hope that it comes out in words that make sense to other people. I tend to talk to myself when I'm writing. A lot and out loud. Usually it's just saying dialogue to make sure it sounds right or to make a sound to try to vocalize how I would spell it. My favorite type of lemon to write, I think, would have to be anything in EPOV. I LOVE writing from inside Edward's head, whether it's human or vamp which is probably why I wrote The Acclimation Diaries exclusively from Edward's brain.”

If you’ve been reading lots of AH lately, and want to return to your canon, virginal vampward without sacrificing the lemons, then this fic is definitely one to favorite! And, in advance, I offer a resounding “YOU’RE WELCOME!” to your ladybits.

EllaB/EllaB_twilight is the author of the Bellie Award and Indie Twific Award-nominated fic “Like Night and Day,” along with a smattering of smutty one-shots. She helps to keep readers in constant supply of sex toys and “relationship enhancement” products as the fandom’s Pure Romance consultant. She has an unhealthy obsession with Charlie Bewley, the word “pussy,” and the Olive Garden.


booboo_kitty33 said...


Thank you so much Ella_B, that was awesome! You brought a huge smile to my pervy lil face!


jennifer said...

my favorite part of my favorite fic!!

glad it made it to the blog!