Friday, February 19, 2010

Geek Love by SassenachWench

Geek Love





Humor, romance, healing and rampant geekitude collide in this Edward & Bella love story. "A funny, quirky love story about two computer geeks whose playful friendship turns into something more." Chokin' the Rubber Chicken blog.

Bella Swan was always one step ahead of me. Hell, who was I kidding. She was like four fucking steps ahead of me, at all times. God she was a bitch.

And by "bitch" I mean "the most amazingly brilliant, funny, beautiful, wank-worthy woman, I will never, ever, ever have."

-Edward Cullen, “Geek Love” by Sassenach Wench

After reading dozens of fics, I’ll bet you think you know Geekward, but I’m here to tell you: you don’t. Don’t fret—it’s not your fault so many authors use the G-word to describe their Edwards, when they should really be using “-wards” that begin with “D” or “N”. So let’s review: a “Dork” is unaware or uncaring of his buffoonery and lack of cool; a “Nerd” is so intellectual or obsessed as to be socially awkward; a “Geek”, on the other hand, is a knowledgeable techie who holds fierce satisfaction in being great at her inglorious profession.

Enter SassenachWench’s Geekward and Geekerella. Her doobies are the real deal. When not programming or architecting information schema, they pass their time shooting one another with Vulcan Automatic Nerf blasters and fighting off Microbes of Unusual Size. Here’s the other thing about geeks, though—they can be a little shy in the real life romance department, which is the case with a painfully enamored Edward. “Geek Love” is a fic about how office besties Bella and Edward grow to become more than friends.

The towering strength of this fic is its unique characterizations, locked down by killer dialog and internal monologue so funny it made me snort like a little piglet. In addition to the great Edward/Bella rapport, the hilarious supporting cast not only includes Chief Grumpy, but also Pornsper, Sexme, and Drunklisle. And speaking of drunk, SassenachWench turned out a certain scene with the most brilliant drunk Bella ever. I may have gone back and read that scene one or two dozen times :)

So, I won’t spoil what happens, or how—just know there are many surprises (and lemons—this is PPSS, after all!), and even though SassenachWench brings the funny, it’s not PWP/fluff. There’s a real story behind the banter, and, just like any real couple, Edward and Bella must overcome some obstacles to be together.

So, go read it. Then review it. Then don’t let any Geekward contest category go untouched without giving some love to “Geek Love”. And if you are jonesing for more of SassenachWench’s writing after that (which you will be), go read “Just One Day” in all of its lemony goodness!

I should start out by saying that I'm not a computer geek. I have no idea how to code or how to do...err...whatever the fuck else computer geeks do. Because of that, I would say a good 50-60% of the humor in this fic went right over the top of my head. However, even with missing that much of it, I still laughed my ass off several times in this fic based on the non-computer geek humor that the author put in as well.

Geek Love is a fun, funny, lighthearted - for the most part - read that's easy to fly through in a day. The story does deal with a heavy issue, but it's done in a very light manner - it doesn't bring the story down with the retelling of the events, and they're really only specifically touched on in one chapter. The author did a great job of showing a conflict, but not allowing it to run the show.

The characterizations of both Edward and Bella in this fic are fun and quirky, but I have to say that my favorite character in the whole thing is Jasper. I wanna hang out with him for a day, watching porn and eating cereal. After you've read this, you can't tell me you won't want to, either!

The citrus in this is light - several limes sprinkled throughout, but only one solid lemon. The UST is great and the sexual situations the author does write about are well done and hawt.

This is a great (completed!), easy read if you're looking for something light and funny.

4 out of 5 pornos with Jasper

I am not a geek in the true sense. Although I could be classed as a bit of a nerd.. . :) But I got a fair bit of the geeky humour. But I know I missed a lot. But that does not matter. As Bri said - there is a lot to love irrespective of that.

On first glance you might think there are a lot of similarities with a previous round table recc of Just One of the Guys. But although both stories deal with geeky tendencies, and a relationship going very slowly due to past trauma - they are completely different. This is due to the strength of writing of both authors. Geeklove did not read like anything I had read before - which always pleases me! I love love love love love love love love the banter between work colleagues Bella & Edward. Love the laissez-faire attitude that Edward's brother Jasper has. I always enjoy a fic where Mike Newton is ridiculed too! :) A couple of great scenes in Geek Love for that!

My only complaint with GeekLove - & its a small one. Is that I would like more of Bella & Edward once Bella overcomes her final hurdle with their relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love the epilogue, I would have just like a pre-epilogue or post-epilogue. :) (Greedy bitch! - Who ME?!) ;)

The chemistry in GeekLove is fabulous. Its cut it with a knife type stuff. VERY pleasurable to read. As laced through it is their banter, laughs, shyness & burgeoning love for one another. I think one of my fave chapters is where nothing whatsoever happens, but Bella ends up crashing at Edward's. Neither of them have dared admit their thoughts towards the other yet. Thankfully eagle-eyed waste of space Jasper is on hand to give them a helpful shove in the right direction. I particularly liked the emotions that SassenachWench runs in these scenes. Humour, tenderness, obliviousness, fear and longing. Throw in some genuine tenderness and hope, and a bittersweet conclusion to their unplanned sleepover & I am hooked. Its a brilliantly done scene. But I do love most of them in this fic!
Four-and-a-wee-bitty jasper directed porno's out of 5 from me!

Geek Love, how I love you! Like the others I love me a Geekward and this one might just be my favorite. He's not the socially inept, cumming the second someone touches his joystick, wearing outdated clothing, pocket protector type geek. He's just awkward, especially when it comes to his crush, Bella. Bella is a geek in her own right as well. Which makes them just about perfect for each other, that's if they could ya know actually talk to each other about it. Which in the beginning they can't, but they get over it or around it and all is well...kinda. It's not uber geeky, and I think that the non-geek could or would get most of the jokes. If not, that's what google is for.

Bella has a past. It's horrendous, but she's dealing and living as best as she can. Edward doesn't "fix" her, but helps her and those around her come to terms with what happened. The situation is handled delicately, but also with levity and snark that makes what happened easier to swallow for the reader. Also, not to make light of the circumstances but it leads to some hella good UST. Like, leave you throbbing and your monitor steamed up UST. Which is always a good thing.

These two are just cute together. Once they admit to digging on each other and the tale of Bella is related, everything is comfortable. They laugh and joke and touch and Bella punches and it's just freaking adorkable and real. They act like a real life couple would act and I'm glad those little moments are included.

The cast of side characters, Jasper & Charlie in particular are winning. Jasper is...Jasper? He likes porn and baking down and totally random stuff. Oh and embarrassing Edward, which is always a good thing. When we first meet him, he's watching porn at Edward's because Edward didn't have any cereal. Yeah, just go with it, trust me. Bella also happens to throw up on Edward around this time too. He also makes a fries indecent and falls for Alice in an instant at their sister Rosalie's wedding. What's not to love!

Now Charlie is the overbearing, yet endearing father of Bella. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even running background checks on Edward and all of his family and friends to make sure that Bella won't be hurt again. Edward and Charlie come to an understanding and things are good, if not tenuous between them.

4.5 out of 5 Cockburns, trifecta's, & Jasper Porn from moi.

I am a total sucker for Geekward, especially when he's paired with Geekella. Love, love, love them.

Geek Love encompasses so many of my favorite Edward & Bella traits. They're smart, they're funny, they have banter, and they have major chemistry. The first few chapters lay the groundwork of their friendship, and I totally giggled at moments like this:
“Sure Mike. I’ll print them out. Meet you in your office in a few.” As she turned to sit, intending to print her documentation, I cocked my six-shooter and totally fucking nailed her in the back of the head, the dart trying to bounce off her mass of brown hair, but getting caught in the curls. I fived myself internally at my fan-fucking-tastic aim, but again the woman stole my thunder by not even turning around. She had no reaction at all, other than slowly raising a single finger to me.

You can probably guess which one.
I mean, who doesn't love this Bella, and this Edward? We also learn about the Trifecta:

Two cups of steaming coffee—straight from the Fauxbucks insta-serve machine, a bowl of microwaved (now liquid) Hershey’s chocolate, and a plate of peanutbutter-filled cookie sandwiches.

Yes, please!

The UST is built up well, and made me giggle several times. You can really feel the relationship and friendship these two have, and so it doesn't feel rushed or unnatural when they do begin to date.

Also, what can I say about this Jasper? Probably Top 5 Jaspers for me. I love, love, love him. He says things like this:

“You know Edward, she’s really cool. I like her. You should marry her. And have babies with her. And then teach those babies how to not communicate like normal people. Make it a family tradition. Ya know?”
… and I laugh so hard, I'm gasping for breath. I want to marry this Jasper.

I squeed (out loud) when Bella agreed to go to the wedding with Edward. Chapter 11 had me dying with laughter again – Jasper is back. Even re-reading it, I had to set my head down and laugh.

I cried when Bella talked to Edward about her past. There really isn't too terribly much to say about that, except that it broke my heart into little pieces.

I loved Edward meeting Charlie, and I especially enjoyed their private conversation after Bella's breakdown moment. One thing I really loved about the way Sass handled Bella's past was this passage, from Charlie:
“What that fuckhead did took so much from her—from all of us. The more we sit around questioning ourselves—doubting ourselves or criticizing each other—the more power we’re giving what he did.”
When something like what happened to Bella happens, it happens to everyone around that person, too. I was relieved to read a story where finally, it wasn't just Bella on her own to deal with something horrible.

The last chapter made me cry really happy tears. I only wish there had been a little bit more. I felt like this story crested and then ended so quickly, I didn't get to enjoy very much of their happy time together, but I would much rather end on this note of wanting than having a story drag on and on.

4.5 out of 5 Trifectas (because hello? There's caffeine in thar!)

I'm the shittiest geek on the planet. Hope calls me a LitNerd, that is a title I can live up to but Geek? Nah. I love them and I LOVE reading Geekward stories BUT they have to be done in a certain way.

I can't stand the stereotypical Nerdward where he's practically incapable of human contact without jizzing his pants, though I would laugh at that. SW does a great characterization of a Geekward and one that even the ungeekiest of people could understand and relate too.

I loved that they're friends at work and essentially on equal footing, and that he's not the Banddork and her the hot cheerleader who saves him. That shit gets old. Here, they're adorable straight out of the gate with some very funny dialogue, some not-so-innocent office flirting and enough UST to melt the paint off the walls.

Bella's past upset me a great deal but SW handled it remarkably well considering the topic. His reaction to it as well was equally well done.

Jasper in fic by default is never my favorite, they're few and far between where not only can I tolerate him but I enjoy reading his parts. This one is easily in the top five for me. I won't rehash all the excellent quotes the ladies already provided but holy shit, they're funny. He's a real card but he's so genuinely good for Edward too.

I agree that the end seemed a bit rushed but it couldn't take away from the rest of this great story.


After seeing so many amazing tweets about Geek Love I decided I couldn't hold out any longer. Though I'm not as geekfabulous as I'd like, and not the most knowledgeable in all things geekarific, this story made me crack my shit up so hard. It's the mark of a great author who can take things not commonly known to everyone and twist the humor so that it can be enjoyed by all. For instance, quite possibly the funniest thing to me, so much so that I rode the LOLercoaster for several long minutes and told my husband about it:
She turned her monitor a little more in my direction, and maximized the email sitting in her “sent items” folder, before explaining. “I went to double check that I had attached the docs on the email I sent out, and realized that I had mis-typed—” She cut herself off, throwing both hands into her face again. “Gah!…that’s so horridly embarrassing! But seriously, ‘g’ and ‘t’ are really fucking close together on the keyboard.”

I read the email:

Attached are the workflow, spec overview,

and sitemap for job #i9083.



Bella Swan

UX/UI Designer

206.555.9283 (d)
206.555.2345 (c)

She’d signed her email “Retards” instead of “Regards.”
Not only that but I simply adore how Bella and Edward interact with each other from the get go. Silly, fun, a tad bit flirty, they are friends at work who you know just want to branch away from that and actually hang out beyond the workplace. And, as the reader knows from chapter one, Edward wants more. That chance arrives at a launch party which has mandatory attendance. Drunkella does not want to do the fucking. Therefore, using reverse psychology, she gives Mike the slip and unwittingly falls into the hands of our adorable Geekward. You think everything is going great as Bella slurs her flirty words at Edward in her pink STFU shirt. Only doesn't go so well. As you can probably guess that what happens when someone gets shit faced happens to Bella...all over the front of Edward's shirt.


The story only gets better as we are introduced to Jasper. Watching porn. At Edward's. And obviously Bella is down to watch. Natch. As Jasper educates Bella in all things porn, Edward is left simultaneously turned on and disgusted. One of my favorite parts during that scene:

"Where did you get that? Did you order pay-per-view?"

"Naw man, they don't show this stuff on pay-per-view! It's a DVD. Speaking of which, where the hell is your porn? I looked everywhere. I had to go buy this!" He looked genuinely injured.

"I get it online, like everyone else. You bought it? Why?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, bro."


"Jasper, why are you watching porn in my living room?"

"Because you didn't have any cereal."


"I came for cereal. You didn't have any. I was bored, so I got some porn."

What is obvious to Jasper, that is to say the definite like-bordering-love from both Edward and Bella, is something that comes slowly for our favorite couple. Bella has suffered some rather atrocious things in her past and isn't so forthcoming with her feelings. I'm down playing some of this right now because I don't want to say too much. Yes there is angst, but it's not total heart fail. What happened to Bella was horrible but something that these two work through in order to have a healthy relationship.

It also provides amazing UST.

And leads to great convos between Edward and Charlie. I love this Charlie. While still retaining the canon "my preferred form of communication is grunts and mmms," he's rather frank with Edward. And is a bit of a potty mouth. IDK that makes me happy. But cursing Charlie is great. Cursing, protective, does his homework, can actually see through the tint in Edward's car, Charlie is the best.

I can honestly say that I love this fic. I do agree with the other ladies that I wish there had been more moments between Bella and Edward after they overcome the one hurdle present from Bella's past. Still, without a doubt I would reread this story again and again.

4-5 Flying Fucks

Jeanne- I swear, I think that the only reason the girls invited me to be an honorary perv, was so they could revive the long dead Wusperv in my dead blackened shell of a soul. Honestly, I think its fucking working. God damn it!

Geek Love has a very simple title, and what could be mistaken for as a simple premise, maybe one that you think you’ve seen before. Geeky Edward is pals with pretty, spunky (so much cooler than canon) Bella. However, if you think that this story is like every other quirky Geekmance (yes, I just made up the word, humor me) you’ve read, gentle reader you are DEAD WRONG.

The first thing that struck me about this story was the fast pace of the story. It’s not 24 or anything, though you might think it is at the start. The first line of the story throws you head fist into this world and it never lets you stop to think, though you often have to stop to catch your breath after laughing your ass off.

SassenachWench has created a living breathing world that has obviously been going on before we arrived, but Edward’s narrative quickly get’s us caught up on the set of his world and (most important) acquaints us with lingo of this world.

Talk about lingo. This story is Geek Speak heavy. If you are not familiar with a lot of rather nerdy things, you might feel lost in the first few paragraphs, but do not dismay my little Geek newb you don’t have to get all the references to understand the heart of this story, which is the sweet relationship between Edward and Bella. These two have an adorkable chemistry that overrides all their little social and romantic misfires, and my dear baby jebus do they have a lot of misfires.

One of the things that I love about this story is the awkwardness that smacks of realism to me. There were many times where I related to both Edward and Bella as they stumbled through this Geekmance (yes, I used it again, you should too). They are hilarious, funny and self-proclaimed social retards.

Edward is often clueless when it comes to Bella, but what he lacks basic human observation skills (as most boys often do) he more than makes up for it with good old fashion earnestness. You will find yourself squirming in your seat in sympathetic discomfort as you see him stumble his way through the story. I may or may not have baby talked to him (out loud) during some more adorkable moments. *facepalm*

Then there’s Bella…oh how I love thee, let me count the ways. Honestly, I can’t count them, because I would spoil the whole freakin’ story for you. I will say this much, this Bella is REAL. She has a brain, personality and um…I think I kinda have a crush on her. *blushes HARD*

Yeah, so read the damn story already. I need to go kill a couple hundred baby bunnies to try to get back some Team Evil cred after this fiasco.

4 out of 5 twatwaffles

I don't think it will come as a surprise to anyone who knows me that a story with the word "geek" in the title gets me all gaga. While I'm just a geek wannabe compared to say, Hopey, MsKathy, or Jeanne, I caught most of the classic geek references that SessenachWench makes. I will readily admit to owning stuffed microbes, a nunzilla, a Buddy Christ (complete with the 'thumbs up'), Jesus pencil toppers and a Christ action figure, a Clocky alarm clock that I bought my spawn for Christmas (What? It was on his gift list!), and more cartoon character action figures than I care to count. In the first chapter alone, the author uses many of the items listed above, AND references "The Princess Bride." How win is that? Thus, to say I enjoyed "Geek Love" is an understatement.

I recently went off the grid for an entire day--left Twitter and Gmail closed *gasp*--and decided to just sit and read. "Geek Love" was the story I spent the day with, and it was a fun, funny, lovely little ride. The main characters include Geekward, an IT guy, Geekella, a "User Experience" pro who works with Edward, and a really horny, funny Jasper, who is Edward's brother.

Naturally, Geekward pines for Bella, convinced his love is unrequited. And, naturally, Mike "Project Lead and King Asshat" Newton has his designs on Bella. When he feeds her drinks at a company function, Edward "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy" Cullen rescues a very drunk Bella and saves the day. How is he rewarded for his deeds? He gets paid in...puke. Drunk Bella's puke. Edward gives Bella a piggyback ride to his apartment, only to find a hilariously horny Jasper there, viewing some porn:

"My brother lay on the couch watching porn on my TV. He turned at my exclamation, jumping up with a grin, fly wide open. I took a moment to be grateful his pants were actually still on. He, however, seemed completely unfazed by my interruption. Typical Jasper."

Jasper sizes up immediately that these two are in love with each other but cannot admit it, and schemes to get them together.

Most of the heat level in this story is of the UST variety. These two want each other so badly, but there is always something or someone in the way of allowing them to express it. They move painstakingly slowly towards wearing the big "O" face together, but it is lovely and awkward UST. In fact, my only critique of the sexual tension is that the huge build up throughout the story leaves the big old lemon a tad underwhelming.

Suffice it to say, Edward and Bella are totally earnest and endearing, Jasper is charming as hell, and the whole story is a ball of fun. I highly recommend the story.

4.5 out of 5 Microbes of Unusual Size