Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Lemon Report 1/18/11

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

Acronym Guide
AU - Alternate Universe
AH - All Human
WIP - Work in Progress
O/S - One Shot
OOC - Out of Character
WP - Wussperv
Slash/Femslash - Features homosexual characters and romance.

RPF, O/S, Slash, Rob/Jackson

WARNING: I suppose I should explain that RPF stands for Real People Fiction. Yep, this is fictional stories about real people, usually actors. If this creeps you out, then scroll down to the next fic rec. I promise, I won’t be offended.

Jeanne - Okay, now that only the interested parties are reading. HOLY CRAP! Okay, I don’t read a lot of Twilight RPF, because honestly most of it involves the male actor's paired up with female original characters, which is totally fine, but not really something I’m interested in reading. The kind of RPF that I like to read is about the actors, and specifically male actors getting it on with each other. Yep, THAT is some fucking Twilight Slash! Rawr. Hey, I’m a whore and I’ve got needs. Reading about Rob Pattinson getting hot and heavy with Jackson Rathbone helps fulfill those needs, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Auto Erotic starts out after a party in Rob’s hotel room. He and Jackson are alone, playing guitar together, and chatting, when Jackson ask a seemingly innocent question. When thing inevitably progress holy shit is it sexy, and VERY believably two straight men being very intimately sexual with each other. SinShameGuilt does a masterful job of capturing Rob’s voice as well as Jackson’s personality. Her flawless writing lends credibility to this sexy fantasy and allows the reader to believe that these two men could have an secret moment like this between them.

Jen - Apparently I’m a whore too, because as soon as Jeanne posted the link I was clicking it. Let’s be honest, we’ve all imagined these two twi-boys getting it on. It’s so wonderfully understated, yet Rob and Jackson definitely come through and the sort of quiet nature of the o/s complements the tension in the piece. AKA, it’s fucking hot and definitely satisfies.

Kitty - Make that whore, party of three please because like my delectable cohort Jen, I clicked on Jeanne’s link so hard I sprained a finger. Now, I’m the first to admit that RPF does normally give me the heebs, but this one was beyond delish! These two were just so RAWR and YUM all wrapped up into one tasty treat. The fact that it was almost unspoken how much the wanted to jump on each other made my wee kitteh toes curl! The tension was palpable and God damn it I love that shit!! Man alive, these pervy girls are turning my world on its fucking ear, got me not only reading slash, but RPF slash! I I think I now have a permanent seat on the dark side and I’m not moving!!

Jess - There is something super hot about watching these two guys in a deeply intimate moment. I could see this entire scene playing out - from the initial brush of lips, to the feel of scratchy facial hair, to their bodies pressed hard against each other. I felt like such a voyeur reading this, and it left me all kinds of squirmy... in a unf-tastic sort of way.

AH, O/S, E/B

Emmy - This one-shot features an aloof CollegeWard at his finest. This is a sexy one-shot delight with Edward trying to sell his Uni to visiting senior Bella.... Guess what charms he pulls out the bag to show her just how good his University is? Yup the big guns... Bella doesn’t stand a chance... To be honest - neither do we. This is such lemony fun - as a Bella and Edward have a fun drunken night.

AH, O/S, E/B

Emmy - This was a submission for my Pervy Picspiration post this week. And I just had to feature it here. What happens when a photoshoot (with 2 sexy and oiled topless models) gets out of hand? Temperatures aren’t the only thing rising... Amazing UST and tingly chemistry make this fabulous, as does the fierce proper lemon at the end. I loved it hard.... Deffo worth reading folks... Deffo!

Jen - When Emmy first shared her idea for her Pervy Picspiration column, I was so excited about it. Such a fun idea, and she’s been getting some really sinful pieces of writing based on the photos. This is a very yummy workplace fantasy, with a little exhibitionist kink thrown in for good measure. Rawr!


Jess - I have been in love with this story since Ilsuocantante started writing it. It’s different from other AU stories I’ve read, but probably the thing I love most about it is the intensely descriptive way in which it’s written. Plus, you know early on, as does Bella, that Edward is a vamp. I find myself completely curious what the conflict will be in this story beyond what has already been hinted at.

There have been lemons... lots of lemons... from early on in this story, but this chapter completely struck me in a different way. Edward, in his typical caveman, possessive manner, makes a comment, repeatedly, that Bella’s body is his. He even goes so far as bring her to the breaking point before slamming into her against the wall. It was intense and hot... and then, he crossed the line, marking her with their cum, telling her that she’s his and he wants everyone to know it.

The remainder of the chapter is filled past boyfriends and new understandings. Bella finds her voice and tells Edward how she felt about the morning... and I LOVED it. I loved seeing her take a stand against his “ownership” of her, and his own awakening - at her insistence - that there’s more to them than her body and his claim to it. So so good!

Emmy - I loves this too. Although every chapter squeezes my heart until its tender and a tiny bit bruised. I swear I spend every chapter reading it first REALLY first almost as a scan for HF, and then I re-read so I can savor the beautiful prose and vulnerable lovers. I know the heartfail is going to drop, possibly soon. As Edward is much too messed up a vamp (still feeding on humans for example) for this Bella and Edward to go the distance as they are, I just hope that T gives them the happy and loving ending they both so deserve. Just a gorgeous fic. A must read.


Jess - It’s not often you get a beej, a hand job, and a dry hump in one chapter. Well... here’s one, and it was awesome! I’ve loved this story from the beginning. It’s got a very intense, brooding, Artward, and a very cool, easy-going Profella. It’s an easy read and pulls you in a way I can’t really describe adequately. Go read!

Emmy - I cannot tell you how much I love this story. Forget the sex (no really) (although their sexual explorations are fabulously hot, tense and building **tingles**) because this story is SO much more. The characterizations and tender unfolding of Bella and Edward’s stories is writing at its very best. The wintry and isolated small-town backdrop to their tale frames their journey’s back to whole perfectly. Seriously I cannot recommend this story enough. Yes its gentle, but it has so many wonderful layers and so much going on beneath the surface. Read. It!

Star Trek 2009, Complete, Slash, Kirk/McCoy

Jen - I was reluctant to start reading Twific because I had a feeling I’d become addicted and have a hard time doing stuff, like, oh, feeding and clothing my children. Since that is basically what came to pass (except I have just barely managed to keep up with my responsibilities), I’ve been pretty strict about not looking at fic for any other fandom. One little Star Trek fic made it past my guard, and then I watched the movie with Chris Pine and, well, I’m reading more Star Trek fic. This tasty three-shot landed in my box right at the end of December. I finally got to read it this weekend and I’m so glad I found the time.
McCoy is an older/wiser bartender at a club. Kirk is an Adam Lambert-esque singer who is captivated by the just-this-side-of-surly McCoy. Although McCoy is really not that much older than Kirk, the dynamic between them is both funny and ust-filled. McCoy is a bit of a dominant dirty talker and omfg does it make me hot. There’s lots of fucking and even a little strip-tease/lap dance action. I’d like to imagine that despite their difference med-student McCoy and popstar Kirk found a way to make a relationship out of their incredible chemistry.

AU, WIP, Slash, Garrett

Chele - There is nothing hotter than Revolutionary soldier Garrett as seen through these vignettes which show us the sexiest nomad’s experience as he wanders through life. From the intimacy he experiences with his creator, the satisfaction of a longing which he felt was forbidden to him, to his encounters with historical crossroads. Top notch writing, thoughtful subject matter, and fuckhot Garrett. Can’t wait to see more.

Emmy - I first discovered DellaTerra’s great writing through her entries for my pervy picspiration post’s. Wow can she write?! This series for the Twi 25 isn’t steamy smut, but each little glimpse into Garrett’s life and journey through the years and across America is an incredible read thus far in only 3 chapters. Deffo one to watch and read...

AH, WIP, Edward/Bella

Kimpy - A couple of my Twitter friends recommended this story to me a few days ago, and I was a little wary. Edward? As a Viking? I gave it a try, because I flove sheviking’s other hot fic, The Education of Professor Cullen. It didn’t take long for “My Viking” to sink its teeth in me, too, so to speak.

I almost feel like I need to include a disclaimer of sorts here, because Mr. Kimpy is of Nordic heritage and proudly flaunts it in my face all the time. Also, being from Minnesota means I’m surrounded by Vikings all day long, so this viking lore is nothing new.

I don’t read many period fics for some reason, but I have to commend sheviking on her authenticity. Her Vikings are real Vikings, good at raping and pillaging and all that. Edward, however, happens to be a kind-hearted Viking (well, as kind-hearted as a Viking can be). Bella was captured by Emundi (the viking version of Emmett) to be a “bed thrall” for his brother, Edward. Bella knows the Vikings are heathens; she is very fearful of going to hell when she sleeps with Edward out of wedlock. She and Edward have some red hot sex before anything else really happens, but they have a huge fight, and ultimately, Edward bans her from his bed. That doesn’t mean they don’t still lust for one another, however, and sheviking manages to ramp up the UST to epic levels. You can just feel how much they want each other, but neither will admit it. Bella’s religious convictions play a large role in her ambivalence toward Edward. She wants him, but knows it wrong. GAH! Sheviking is full of surprises--I cannot wait to see how the story turns out. You know the lemons to come (twss) are going to be fantastic. UNG. Read. Viking. Good.

AU, O/S, Edward/Bella

Kimpy - This one-shot came up on Twitter the other night when we were laughing about Michael Sheen’s Aro. It part of the Preemies compilation. It’s a fun little piece of crackfiction that made me giggle. Hard.

The premise is that Bella bets Edward that she can beat him at chess. Since he always cheats with Jasper, and she knows he cannot cheat with her, she feels confident she will win. Edward, of course, is feeling just as confident. Except this time? He loses. And the bet? That Edward will get a cast of his penis turned into a dildo that Bella can use, since he won’t have sex with her.

A series of antics follows, with the regular cast of Twilight characters, including Jessica as the “cast master” and James as the shop owner. Unbeknownst to Edward and Bella, James kept a copy of the mold and makes pink sparklepeen dildos to sell. The funniest twist is that Aro finds out about the dildo, makes Jane get her hands on one (literally?), and he cackles about it when Jane shows it to him. His reaction is pure win.

So, if you’ve ever wondered where The Vamp dildo came from, this story is for you. Kimpy claims no responsibility if you wet yourself laughing. JS.

AH, O/S, femmeslash, Mystery Pairing,

Jen - This sexy bit of femmeslash arrived in my box via the Femmeslash and Polyslash Recs C2. Our narrator comes home after a hot and sticky day--not in the good way--and jumps into the shower as soon as she can upon arriving home. Her lover quietly joins her in the shower and quickly makes her forget the humidity that exists outside of their apartment. No doubt you’ll be wishing for a cold shower of your own by the end of this o/s!


dellaterra said...

Dear Chele and Emmy,

I can't stop smiling. Thank you so much for giving Garrett some loving in the Lemon Report! I love you guys!

xoxo JJ

julesames said...

Aww thanks so much for reccing Supermodel. I love you!