Thursday, July 7, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

I don't know if it's weird but basically I'm 20 and still a virgin. But I've always been very interested in sex and stuff like that. Thats why I read dirty fics, but I don't masturbate or anything like that so I'm pretty sure my hymen is still intact. I know you'd tell me not to but I feel embarrassed about still being a virgin and wouldn't want to tell a guy if we were to have sex. Would it be weird if I wanted to break my hymen so I don't bleed when I do do it?

Hmm, there are a couple of points here that I want to comment upon here.

First, if you are 20 and still a virgin, that's not weird, it's just you. Forget about the average age at which people have their first experience with intercourse; just decide when it is right for you, and go with that, okay? People seem to forget that nearly everything in life is a personal choice! Please trust that Naughty Nurse Kimpy would never refer to you as weird for a choice that you've made.

Second, it's totally okay to masturbate, and doing so doesn't necessarily mean that you will break your hymen. You can stick to clitoral stimulation alone, without inserting anything into your vagina, and your hymen will still be there. You can even stick a finger into your vag without tearing your hymen, because one finger is very slim; it usually takes something thicker--like a penis!--to do that job. Likewise, a dildo and most vibrators could also do that, too, so just be careful about what you insert inside your vag if you want to keep your hymen intact. And trust me, it's a very natural experience for women of all ages to masturbate. It isn't something that only men participate in, no matter what your friends say.

Third, don't you dare be embarrassed about still being a virgin if you and a partner decide to have sex! As I said before, it's a choice you've made, and there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. As long as you are making the right choices for yourself, it genuinely doesn't matter if you're a virgin or if you've had 20 partners. The person you have sex with should never berate you for being a virgin, nor should he/she berate you for the number of partners you've had. The bottom line is that it's no one else's business what your personal sex number is--as long as you are disease-free and using protection, that's all that should be of concern about your past sexual experiences.

Now, to answer the question you posed, would it be weird if you wanted to break your hymen so that you don't bleed the first time you have sex? Again, weird is a loaded word for Naughty Nurse Kimpy, and she doesn't like to use it. If you want to break your hymen on your own, that's your business; no one should judge you for that. My question back to you would be, why do you feel the need to do so? You mentioned that you don't want to bleed, but I sense that your concerns have less to do with making a mess and more to do with being embarrassed about it being your first time.

Setting your concerns about embarrassment and bleeding aside for a moment, I want to emphasize one important thing to you: most guys are totally stoked about the idea of being the first guy to have sex with you. Really. So, if you are wanting to break your hymen simply because you think a guy wouldn't want to sleep with a virgin, I want to dispel that notion at once. The first time you have sex, there is generally some blood involved, but it isn't like you're going to bleed out pints of blood so that the bed looks like a scene straight from Dexter. Sometimes, it isn't more than a smidge. Sometimes, it's a little more than that. Just put a towel underneath you and you'll both be fine. Again, nothing to be embarrassed about--it's a perfectly natural part of losing your virginity, and I can't imagine a guy who would get upset or freaked out by that. For most of them, it's a tiny trade off for the fact that you chose them to be your first.

Now, if you still genuinely want to break your hymen, that's your choice, and I support your decision as long as you've weighed all the other factors. In a previous Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy, a reader informed me that she couldn't even use tampons, because her vaginal opening was too small (she had a larger than normal hymen). I suggested to her that she schedule a visit with her gynecologist, who could easily do a hymenectomy in the office, which would allow her to finally be able to use tampons. She did just that, and it all worked out just fine for her; she can now wear tampons with ease. My recommendation to you would be the same. That way, you have every assurance that it will be done safely, quickly, and cleanly.

My only suggestion for you is to see yourself in a more positive, gentle light--you're a young woman who's a virgin. It's the same way that every woman starts out life. You aren't abnormal, or weird, or broken. One day, you will have sex and you will lose your virginity, just as millions of women have done throughout the history of civilization. Trust me, there is positively no embarrassment in that, it's simply part of the human experience. Be careful, be safe, and be your own judge of what you want to do for yourself.

Why does my nose itch following intercourse?

Why do I sneeze when I have an orgasm?

While some of you may find these questions to be hilarious, these types of involuntary reactions are more common than you might think. The quick answer to your questions is: No one really knows.

Funny things can happen to our bodies when we become sexually aroused. Our best guess as to why these things occurs stems from two side effects of sexual arousal: Vasodilation, and muscle tension/relaxation/nerve stimulation.

In order to become sexually aroused, your body needs to vasodilate. During the vasodilation process, your blood vessels become wider, allowing more blood to flow all over your body. It is this increased blood flow that enables your lady bits to become engorged and wet. This same process is what allows erections to happen, which is why the drug Viagra works so well--it is a great vasodilator.

Vasodilation doesn’t restrict itself to one area of the body, however. For many of us, vasodilation can cause other reactions, like our chests becoming flushed; up to 75% of men and women experience this flush they become sexually aroused. Once we have an orgasm, our blood vessels return to normal, and the flush readily disappears.

So, while vasodilation is at work making your lady bits swollen, other areas of your body are swelling, too. Areas such as, say, your nasal passages. Scientists suspect that the act of orgasming can cause a minute irritation in, or stimulation of, your nasal passages, resulting in a sneeze. In essence, sexual arousal and orgasm have a similar effect on your nose as does an allergen. The nasal passages swell, get irritated, and then you sneeze.

Another thing that happens when we have an orgasm is that there is a sudden increase, then decrease, in muscle tension. This abrupt tension/relaxation cycle could be making your other senses go a hit haywire. It is likely that many different nerve endings are stimulated during orgasm, and some of those nerve endings could be in your nose. In addition to sneezing or itching, other people find that orgasming causes them to laugh or cry uncontrollably, makes them feel like they have to pee, and some people even experience sudden, intense headaches.

Alas, there is as yet no cure for these strange, paradoxical reactions to orgasms. I guess you can always look at the bright side, though--your partner(s) will always know when they’ve gotten you off. *wink*

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