Thursday, September 22, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!


The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Some feedback from last week’s post regarding body image and sexuality:

No question. I just wanted to say how much I loved your post this week! Body image is such an important topic that affects everything we do!! While its not always an easy goal to achieve, I hope to one day love my body for what it is.

Best post ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I need to let the confident, beautiful, sexy woman I feel like on the inside (when I'm alone, not thinking about how others see me), make an appearance to the outside world where she doesn't feel accepted, appreciated, or loved. I've come a long way when it comes to loving & accepting myself in the past year or so, but I don't let that part of me show outside of the comfort of my own mind/ fantasies. Obviously I'm not that confident yet, but I'm working on it. It's hard to break through the walls I've put up, thinking they'll protect me from the pain & heartache of not being accepted for what I look like - I need to let go of the memories & pain I feel every time a family member or stranger comments on my weight or treats me differently because of it. I'm even heavier than in was in college, but I had an awesome boyfriend then, that loved every curve - he wasn't "into" big women, but he loved me for who I was. I have to realize I'm still as loveable & I'd make some man very happy if I'd let myself get back out into the dating scene. (never been married, almost 40)

*Naughty Nurse Kimpy hands out hugs of love and encouragement*
I appreciate the promotion of 'self love', [as I am finally starting to love my body and realize I will never be a size 2, nor will I ever be in the lower end of my appropriate BMI category because I own curves, and I love them!].
I COMPLETELY agree with the concept of loving yourself. And I think that having confidence in yourself at whatever size you may be is so emotionally healthy.

However, the health concerns of being overweight are a major concern with this post for me. As a nurse, I see hundreds and thousands of patients per year, who come to my hospital and have complications from obesity. Diabetes, Hypertension, high cholesterol, all leading to heart attacks and kidney failure and a multiple of other diseases.

It's not about losing weight because people should look like Jessica Alba. I think that's a ridiculous goal. It's about making healthier lifestyle choices so you can have a better quality of life, so you can be around for your family and your children, and not stuck in a hospital bed somewhere down the road.

The number one killer of women is heart disease. It's important for us to promote better health... so that we can have great sex for a very long time:)
It's important because hypertension is a silent killer. It's important because we are putting ourselves at risk by not making little changes.
Tips on reducing risk for heart disease

While Naughty Nurse Kimpy totally agrees that obesity is a problem in our society and there are serious health risks that can be associated with it, the thought behind last week’s post was more to stop villifying ourselves for being imperfect and attempting to be happy with our bodies when we aren’t a size 2. Accepting ourselves as we are in order to be healthy and happy is paramount. Hopefully, once that acceptance takes place, a healthier frame of mind will lead to a healthier outlook in all aspects of one’s life.

She also want to point out that being big and curvy and being obese aren’t necessarily the same thing... it’s about appreciating women of all shapes and sizes and allowing ourselves to be sexual creatures no matter what we look like. We all deserve that in our lives.
Hi Kimpy! I'm in my mid twenties and a virgin. I don't have any vibrators or anything like that but I do have urges (Twi FFn doesn't help that!!) Was wondering if there were any tips when it comes to masturbating? I don't do it often enough but when I do I find that I can't insert fingers, it feels unpleasant. I usually get release if you can call it that, over the clothes. Any advice/help? BTW looved your outfit at Comic Con ;).

(For those readers who are unaware, Naughty Nurse Kimpy showed up at Comic Con, all kinds of silly, but that's what Comic Con is all about. I'm thrilled that you could appreciate my silliness.)

As for the masturbation issue, you can refer back to our recent two-part post on the subject: All About Masturbation and Jilling Off. If you still have questions after checking these out, please let me know!

Some people say it's normal but others would act as if my issue is a sin. I'm a 23 yr. old female and have never touched myself sexually. I love reading and have fun role playing sex but I don't know... I've just never felt the need to touch myself while doing it. Is that normal?

*Nurse Kimpy bristles that the word normal is being used again* One thing that I have learned over the years is that we all have a different repertoire of things that excite us sexually. In fact, it’s almost impossible to meet another human being whose sexual proclivities completely match your own. That’s one of the beauties of sex--you get to discover what it is that makes your partner tick. Sometimes, we end up being completely incompatible sexually, and sometimes, we’re almost perfectly matched.

The bottom line is that you are far from an asexual creature and you don’t appear to have any unusual sexual hangups; you simply don’t feel the need to masturbate. That’s perfectly fine, acceptable, and normal. Remember, as long as sex is safe, fun, and consensual, it’s a good thing. If it feels right for you, then it is. Period. You owe no one any apologies.

Lately, I've been noticing this weird vaginal discharge that kinda looks like cottage cheese and had a kinda funky smell. My question is if this could be a sign of something wrong down there?

While it’s very normal for vaginal discharge to change texture and consistency throughout your cycle, there are certain types of discharge that are unusual and require a trip to your doctor. When you vaginal discharge takes on a different odor than usual, if it becomes greenish or cottage cheese-like in consistency, you are probably dealing with some type of vaginal infection. Also, if there is burning or itchiness associated with the discharge, you’ll want to get that checked out by your physician as well. It’s never a bad idea to consult with your doctor if you’re ever in doubt--changes in the color or smell of your discharge are the best indicators that something might be amiss with your lady bits.

First of, thank you for doing this advice column. It has helped me so much!

Is it safe to have sex and/or masturbate while your on your period? 'Cuz i dont know if other girls have this problem but I always find myself getting more horny about a week before, and then during my period.

One of the things Naughty Nurse Kimpy has mentioned in the past is that hormones kinda rule the world; they’re responsible for a lot of human behaviors. Horniness is definitely included in those behaviors. It’s completely normal and natural to feel hornier during your period.

The only warning I would give you about masturbating during your period is to use caution when inserting things into your vagina (i.e., dildos) and to make sure they are thoroughly cleaned afterward. If you’re having sex during your period, remember that it is possible to get pregnant, so you still need to use protection.

I have a TON of stretch marks. It sucks and I don't think that it is normal. I am young, never been pregnant, and am pretty healthy, I mean I have a bit of extra weight but not enough to cause these bright red lines all over my boobs, hips, thighs, and some are even starting to form on my calves! Why is this happening to me? And what can I do to get rid of them?

As you mentioned, stretch marks are a common after effect of either pregnancy or rapid weight gain. Those aren’t the only reasons that stretch marks occur, but they’re the most common. Adolescents who’ve had a growth spurt can also be subject to stretch marks.

There are several conditions that can cause the development of stretch marks, one of which is Cushing’s Syndrome. People who take steroids can be more likely to experience stretch marks.

Stretch marks are actually caused by an increase in the hormone cortisone, which is produced by the adrenal glands. They are most commonly found on the hips, bum, thighs, stomach, and breasts. They begin as purplish or pink streaks on the skin’s surface, but over time they fade to a pale pink or white color.

You told me that you have widespread stretch marks, that you’re generally very healthy, and have only a bit of extra weight. None of those facts would lead me to conclude that you should be experiencing stretch marks, especially not all over your body. I suggest that you follow up with your doctor, to see if you might have an underlying condition that is responsible for your stretch marks.

Despite the various claims made by various products, it is not possible to erase stretch marks. Some creams or lotions may help them fade or have a less prominent appearance, but nothing can make them go away.

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