Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Week after week, Naughty Nurse Kimpy is full of smiles when her readers offer their support to other readers. For my reader(s) having issues with stretch marks, here's a great suggestion:

I read your post on stretch marks and I agree that no lotion will erase them but I found one (after trying them all) that really makes a difference quickly.
I use 2x a day and they started itching and turning pink like there was new blood flow. if you look really closely you can make out where the mark was but my tummy went from an accordion to almost smooth. It made a huge difference with in the first month. I have been using it for 9 months. Everybody has noticed and all my family is using it. My little sister used it a few times and her red marks faded to pink right away. New ones are easier to get rid of. Any hoo I just had to share because I have lots of stretch marks and am very grateful I found this stuff. It is cheap too.

Hollywood Beauty Cocoa Butter.

Do you have any free porn sites that you would personally recommend? I'm asking you this because I'm finally not ashamed to admit that, yes, I do watch porn occasionally, and there's not much wrong with that, I don't think. I'm not addicted, but it is nice to aid in the release of sexual tension.
I’m so glad you’re at a point where you can admit that you watch porn without feeling any shame. You’re right--there *is* nothing wrong with that (unless it's something that involves graphic violence against any participant, real (not scripted) coercion of any kind, or anything involving underage participants). Most individuals use some kind of porn to enhance their sex lives. In general, Americans tend to have such a prudish attitude toward porn. We don’t want to admit that we use it, yet most of us do! I think that for women especially, it’s important to acknowledge this to one another, so we can start to erase the negative image associated with it. It doesn’t make you slutty, or dirty, or bad if you use porn--it makes you just like everyone else (and please note that Naughty Nurse Kimpy did not use the word normal here).

We recently did a post about good porn resources. Some readers also weighed in on their favorite sites. Give those a try and see if that, uh, lends you a hand. *cough*

Is there something wrong with me because I can't have an orgasm with something, like my fingers or the handle of my razor in me? When I do that, I'm all ready and willing to go, but it's like I give up or I never get to that part. I am a virgin, so I just boil it down to not being experienced. I have like no money at all and I just wanted to know what household items you can use as a dildo. I do use my razor handle, but I think I want to try and work up to something bigger.
There’s nothing wrong with you because you can’t have an orgasm while something is inside you. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that for most women, it’s very hard to achieve an orgasm via vaginal penetration alone. We often require at least clitoral stimulation, and some women prefer both clitoral stimulation and penetration.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy’s first action of business for you, then, is to make sure that you wipe any thoughts of something being “wrong” with you because you’ve never had an orgasm by penetration alone. The more you let your brain dwell on the idea, the more difficult it’s going to become for you to let go and have an orgasm that way. The brain can be your main help or hindrance during sex, so nix that in the bud, pronto.
As far as using household items as a dildo, Naughty Nurse Kimpy strongly urges you not to put such items into your vagina. They can be dirty, and could then be the source of an infection, and they can also cause you physical harm. Using things like electric toothbrushes as a vibrator is one thing; it stays outside of your vagina, so it can’t do any real harm. Putting them inside of you is something altogether different, and you shouldn’t do it. The same goes for using things like cucumbers or other vegetables. Don’t. Just, don’t. Please.

We did a great post on masturbation and jilling off that you can reference for masturbation tips. I recommend that you read that information and try some new things. If it still isn’t working for you, let me know.

GAH! Okay, seriously, here's my question: Is it normal/average/safe to have orgasms nearly every 30 seconds during sex/masturbation?You see, I'm a 20 year old virgin and I bought this rather small dildo (it's barely the width of my two fingers, but gets somewhat thicker towards the base) that I use about once or twice a month. However, when I use it... it's incredible. Within 20 seconds of fucking myself with it, I orgasm and it's intense. Intense GOOD. But, that's not it... I orgasm about every 30 seconds after that as well (and I can go on for however long I want to). Each is the same in intensity and pleasure. Now, I know that there's different types of orgasms (clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, etc), but I'm curious to know if other women have vaginal orgasms as easily and freely as I do? Or is my vagina just ultra sensitive? Will the luck of the orgasm continue when it's a real peen inside of me and not the makeshift one I use now?
*Naughty Nurse Kimpy tries very, very hard to erase the look of envy from her face*

Okay, so what’s the first rule of business here at Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy? Repeat after me, class: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL.
That being said, is it unusual to experience loads of orgasms in a row? Yes, it is unusual. Do other women have vaginal orgasms as freely as you do? No, they do not. You’ve been blessed with the ability to have frequent, easy, intense orgasms, and damn, woman, that’s amazing. Good for you.

Is it safe? As long as your heart keeps beating and you keep breathing, yes. Will these superhero-strength orgasms continue when a real peen substitutes the dildo? Let me phrase it this way--as incredible as vaginal penetration can be using a dildo, it has *nothing* over the real thing. I suspect that when the right guy comes along, you’re not only going to be in heaven, but so will he. You go, girl!
When I was around 8, I got the chicken pox and the first on was on my outer labia. It was a pretty big one, and now years later I have a scar...I think? About a year ago, it began to itch badly, and became slightly raised, but that has gone away and then last week I finally decided to give shaving my kitty a try. I had sort of noticed it before, but it became really prominent after I shaved...there is a large white circle where the chicken pock (also the raised itchy mark) was, and it looks like scar tissue. But is it? I know it is possible to scar from the pox but was it really a scar, what with the itchy raised thing? Hope you can answer my question!

Ah, the joys of infectious diseases, no? Sometimes, Chicken Pox never truly leaves, even after the scabs heal and things return to normal. The virus that causes Chicken Pox, Varicella Zoster, is capable of hiding out in our bodies through our nerve fibers. Later in life, for reasons yet unknown, the virus can reactivate itself and move from the nerve fibers back out to your body, and form new blisters and scabs. This is commonly referred to as Shingles.
Shingles starts out as a tingling, burning, or itching pain, usually on one side of the body, and usually around a person’s trunk--below the navel. Some patients just feel an itch--as did you--while others can’t even stand to have their skin surface lightly touched.

It’s entirely possible that your labial tissue bears a scar from your Chicken Pox; the way you describe the area makes it sound very much like scar tissue. Although the “scar” isn’t bothering you at the moment, the fact that you had a bout of itchiness associated with it makes me suspect that you might have experienced a localized, Shingles-like episode.

While you’re asymptomatic right now, it’s possible that you could flare again at some point. I encourage you to follow up with your gynecologist or regular physician about this matter. They’ll want to keep an eye on the area in case you do have another flare, and there are also different treatments they can offer you should that occur, such as vaccinations, anti-viral medications, and other things to ease the itch.

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