Get To know einfach_mich & kimpy0464

February's HP's are up this week. Let's delve into what makes einfach_mich & kimpy0464 tick.

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Perv Profile

Name: Einfach Mich

Known Alias: Jeanne, Jeanne J Thompson, Insufferable h00r, Teaser h00r, Mistress of Team Evil, That bitch that owes me $20

Sex: Yes, Please

Bio: Thirty-something, mother and wife. Long time geek/fangirl, and obsessive over-thinker. Life-long aspiring writer, and one-time actress/theater tech.

Known Fandoms: Star Trek, Star Wars, BSG, Marvel, DC, Smallville, OZ, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, LOTR, Harry Potter, Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter, Pitch Black, A Song of Ice and Fire, Dr. Who, Torchwood, Coupling, Trueblood (tv show only), Twilight (Active)

Primary Influences: Neil Gaiman, Warren Ellis, William Gibson, Einstein, Stephen Hawkings, Shakespeare, Dorothy Parker, Hunter S. Thompson, Salvador Dali, John Waters, David Bowie, David Lynch

Influential Books: Watchman, The Return of the Dark Knight, Batman: The Killing Joke, Dune, The Outsiders, Pride and Prejudice, Titus Andronicus (plays count as books), The Sandman Series, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Watership Down, Transmetropolitan, Global Frequency, Naked Lunch,

Influential Movies: Bladerunner, Legend, Purple Rain, Quills, Kissed, Perfect Blue (anime), Akira (anime), Near Dark, Fight Club, Hairspray, True Romance, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Wild at Heart, The Thin Man series, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Somekind of Wonderful

Twilight Profile

Favorite Canon Ships: Edward/Bella (before the fight scene in Eclipse), Jacob/Bella (suspect becomes highly agitated when challenged on whether this pairing is canon)

Favorite Non-Canon Ships: Edward/Bella/Jacob, Edward/Jacob, Edward/Leah, Edward/James (though suspect believes this ships equates to narcissism since Jame is a literal manifestation of Edward's animal desires), James/Jasper (suspect likes the potential for violence and pretty), Aro/Carlisle (suspect believes that this is canon), Jane/Felix (suspect also believes that this ship is canon), Charlie/Carlisle (suspect was inspired to ship this after viewing the movie), Leah/Jasper, Leah/Felix (New), Reneesme/Nahuel

Current Stories: Confessions of a Difficult Woman, Fall in the Light

FanFiction.net Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1853387/

Live Journal: http://einfach-mich.livejournal.com/

Suspected Interview
Location: Interrogation Room 69
Date: Monday, February 22, 2010
Time: 05:52:00 PM

Note: Suspect would like it to be noted in the record that she is an unwilling participant in this interview.

Chele: Let’s cut to the chase here. We’ve got questions. You’ve got answers. So the readers don’t have to google it, WTF does Einfach Mich mean?

EM: It is german and it roughly translates into Simply Me or Easy Me. Either one fits me.

Chele: When did you become such a perv?

EM: I was born this way.

Chele: I see you have a Harem. Do you take satisfaction in bringing others along with you in your depravity?

EM: It's hard to take something when it's given up to me so sweetly and so often. In other words, yes. A lot.

Stenographer Note: Suspect smiles.

Chele: What is Team Evil, and where do we sign up?

EM: Team Evil is a group of twi-fans with a shared agenda. Team Evil is about breaking the rules, having fun and sex...a lot of yummy yummy sex. Some of the girls will say it has to do with liking my fic, but don't believe it.

Team Evil is about being yourself, and telling the rest of the world to fuck right off.

Stenographer Note: Suspect kicks boots up onto table, and winks at interrogator.

Chele: You’ve noted that you have written fanfic for years. What prompted you to start sharing your writings?

EM: The Twi-fandom fan fiction writer community, straight up. I have never seen such a supportive and interactive community of writers ever. Without the help of wonderful people that reach out to me on a daily basis, I would have never had the courage to break out of my shell and post my fic.

I think with all the drama and conflict, we often take this community (and it's positive influences) for granted. This is a heaven, a place of nurturing and friendship.

Chele: Why Twilight?

EM: All the loose ends, and unexplored characters. When you cut to the bone of the series it is about the characters, and these characters are fascinating. I write fic for the same reason (that I imagine) a lot of people do. I don't want to let go. I love Edward, Emmett, and Leah too much to close the book on them. I want more for them. More lives, and loves, and in some most cases better ones than they found in canon.

It's no secret that I'm a big Leah fangirl. Honestly, that girl needs all the friends she can get.

Chele: We know all about how you operate. Tell us something about you that might surprise us.

EM: Out of all the Winnie the Pooh characters I identify with Piglet the most.
Stenographer Note: Suspect shrugs.

Chele: You seem entirely unmotivated by reviews. What is that inspires you to write if not for the fandom acclaim?

EM: I am not going to lie, I REALLY appreciate reviews, and I wish I had more time to reply to them. It's taken me a long time to get comfortable and confidant enough to share my writing. I think that one of the things that makes this fandom unique is how active the readers are. I want to continue to support that.

Whenever I have free time, I'm conflicted about whether to use it to write or reply to reviews. I usually choose to write, because in the end, I believe that's what people would want more. I hope that I'm right.

As for what inspires me to write, the answer is always the stories. I've been dreaming up and telling stories all of my life. I remember when I was six I made up a story after I saw the Empire Strikes Back (about how I was Luke's sister, aka the “other” Skywalker).

I only started writing, really writing when I was nineteen. It has been a long hard road to get to the point where I am actually fairly satisfied and proud of my writing. Now, that I finally have a way to get these stories out of my head, and the final product doesn't make me cry with embarrassment, I'm in heaven.

Writing is my drug of choice. It makes me happy, consumes my mind and helps me express things that I otherwise struggle with communicating properly.

Writing is how I try to communicate meta* ideas about a story, canon, characters or fandom in general. My stories aren't just for entertainment. Most of the time I'm trying to say very specific things with these stories or I'm trying to sell you on an idea that you wouldn't normally go for.

Plus I get to write about people fucking, a lot.

Stenographer Note: *Metafiction: Fandom term that describes fictional writing that self-consciously and systematically draws attention to its status as an artifact in posing questions about the relationship between fiction and reality, usually, irony and self-reflection.

Chele: What is it about the fucking and the fighting?

EM: There are two experiences that bookend ALL of our lives. One is being born and the other is dying. Every human being (hell, every living creature) on this planet will experience both of these events, eventually.

Another person is not physically required to be present for both of these events to occur. However, when someone else is involved with either of these experiences it is intense, intimate and can be potentially horrifying or even transcending.

Fucking and Fighting are not exactly life and death, but they are both dances that draw us closer to them. They both can be beautiful and horrible. They can be seductive and repulsive. Both require passion (be it love or hate), and they create a unique connection between those involved.

Plus bruises are sexy, and girls are hot when they beat up dudes.

Stenographer Note: Suspect winks at the interrogator.

Chele: I suppose there’s no chance that you’re going to change your evil ways?

EM: Not a chance.

Stenographer Note: Suspect flips over table and begins to destroy interrogation room with chair. Officers are called in to forcibly remove the suspect from room.

Chele681 begrudgingly agreed to perform the interview because; “I'm only doing this to get in your pants... I need no credit.”

Team Evil is as cool as it sounds. Membership inquires are to be sent to Chele681 (via Twitter).

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All About Kimpy0464

Any good story needs to start at the beginning, so gather round, my lovelies, for the engaging tales I will tell. Actually, I’m just kidding. But if you’re game to read, I’m game to give you the 411 on all things Kimpy.

To say that I’m thrilled to bits to be an Honorary Perv is an understatement. When I got the invitation, I felt like looking around the room and saying, “Who, me? No, really? You don’t mean someone else?” Apparently, they did mean me, so here I am.

In RL, I’m a nurse. I work in the Pediatric ICU, and I love, love, love it. I work three days a week and get a week off every three weeks, so I have plenty of time left for FFn (it’s about priorities, after all). I also have my Masters in Public Health, I have ¾ of my Masters in International Management, and recently turned down a spot in a doctoral program for nursing. Quite honestly, I’m enjoying being a nurse so much, I don’t want to give it up. Plus, it would require foregoing FFn, and I’m simply not willing to make such sacrifices at this time. LOL!

I’ve been married for nearly 23 years (I know, I know) and my hubs is a really good guy. He is my best friend and my soul mate and I feel darn lucky that I found him. If you want to read our story, check out my very first one-shot, “Like a Virgin,” and you’ll see what I mean. He’s funny as hell and still makes me laugh every day.

I have one son, who will be 16 this summer, which positively terrifies me—he will be driving in less than six months. I promise to warn all of you ahead of time once he passes his test. He is a lovely boy who has turned me into a far better person than I ever would have been on my own. He has been everything I needed and nothing I expected, which is perfect. While I love him to death, I also knew within about 5 minutes of having him that one was my hard limit. I’m way too anally retentive and intense to handle more than one kid at a time. So, I have the delight of having a child, and the ease of having only one. It’s the best of all possible worlds. Truly. He’ll be attending Comic Con with me this summer. We have a blast geeking out together.

Exactly how I got hooked on Twi is still a mystery to me. My best gay friend, with whom I share a passion for all things non-fiction, coerced me. He said, “We’re going to go see the movie together, so you have to read this.” To which I replied, “Absolutely not. I’ll see the movie, but I can’t read the book. It was on the NYTimes Bestseller list, for god’s sake! I can’t possibly read something like that! It’s about vampires! It’s a romance novel! I can’t do it, I just can’t.” Blah, blah, blah. He didn’t listen. He handed me the book, asking me to give it 15 minutes. I told him 5. I scrunched my nose for the first few minutes. I rolled my eyes a couple of times. I scoffed. But then, I got hooked. It drew me in, like crack cocaine, and I couldn’t stop. I read straight through for 24 hours, and the first chapter of New Moon was at the end of the book. It was a Friday night, 11:00 PM, so I went straight to Barnes and Noble and bought the entire series. I read it through a few (five or so) times, then started just re-reading my favorite passages before going to bed.

I needed more Edward and Bella, so I went to Stephenie Meyers’ website and found Midnight Sun, and that was the real turning point. WTF? An EPOV?! I thought I died and went to heaven, except for the fact that the BEST PARTS were missing, dammit. From there, I found a section of her website talking about FFn, and went to Twilighted. Oh my god, there were stories that filled in the fade-to-black moments?!! UNG. I hung out exclusively there for a few months, but then I discovered FFn, and that is where the true addiction began. At first, I could only read canon stories, because AU and AH just didn’t make any sense to me at all. Then, I happened upon “Frenemies,” and it was like crack all over again. I then flipped in the other direction, and pretty much read AH exclusively now.

At the end of the day, I consider myself to be simply a huge fangirl. Just ask any of the Pervs, I’ve fangirled all over their asses. They probably figured they could get rid of me by asking me to be an HP, but I’m a tad more tenacious than that (bwhahahaha!). They all deliver engaging stories with engaging smut—is there anything better than that?? Not in my book.

Being an ICU nurse, it is pretty hard to squick me out. As long as the schmex happens between two consenting adults, anything people enjoy sexually is fine by me. I love slash, and I’m definitely not a wussperv. It takes a HELL of a lot to make me cry, so if your fic induces Kimpytears, that is a huge accomplishment. I’m also a huge fan of authenticity. As my dear friend and fellow Honorary Perv Einfach_Mich said recently, “I hate reading anal sex written by someone who's OBVIOUSLY never even bothered to research it past the basics. There's more to anal than lube.” Yeah, that sums it up right there.

I have written a few things, and it feels wrong to pimp myself, so you can find my stuff here. I started writing when I entered the “Age of Edward” contest, and just never stopped. I have one completed chapter fic, Desiderata, which is essentially an update of Pride and Prejudice (I’m a huge Jane Austen freak). I’m presently working on two other chapter fics at the moment. I have so much fun writing that it is ridiculous—the fact that there are people willing to read what I write just tickles me to death.

While my FFn obsession started as an offshoot of my Twilight obsession, it has become so much more than that. It is incredible that I’ve met so many wonderful people online. A whole new world opened up for me, and it is populated by women who are highly intelligent, wickedly funny, hugely supportive, and so much fun. My life has become infinitely richer over the past year, ever since I became involved in FFn. My online friendships are an enormous source of pleasure and comfort. I feel incredibly fortunate to know so many good people and to have found such a satisfying hobby.

While there is plenty of negative shit that goes on in FFn, there is also plenty of amazing things that happen, too. When you see some of the things that fans are capable of doing—raising incredible amounts of money for good causes—it makes my heart flutter. Sadly, meanness is present everywhere in life, so it’s no surprise when it hits FFn, too. Personally, I choose to behave in a way that earns respect, and strive to help everyone get along. There is enough unhappiness in the world without bringing it to the fandom.

It is so hard for me to narrow down the fics that I enjoy—it kills me to leave anyone out. Some of my favorite authors include, but are not limited to: Any of the PPSS girls, most especially MsKathy and manyafandom; tarasueme; lolashoes; adorablecullens; Mrs. TheKing; the artist formerly known as algonquinrt; einfach_mich; tby789; and angrybadgergirl. Stories that I keep rereading include, but are not limited to: The Port Angeles Players (this story deserves so much more love than it receives); The Trip Home; All I Ever Knew; Behind Enemy Lines (currently unavailable); A Life Extraordinary and Let Your Light Shine; The sub/The Dom; Wood; An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy; and Frenemies (no longer available).