Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Lemon Report 11/30/10

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favourite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favourite update with us by leaving us a comment.

Art School Confidential

Kimpy - I flove Art School Confidential, even though it has been a tad on the angsty side of late. I was THRILLED to get an update this week. Farkle, my dear, you continue to pwn and kill me with every post. In this chapter, she may have written one of my favorite lines ever regarding Mike Newton (Kimps NO LIKEY the Newton, JS):
When he kissed me, my body just went ‘meh’.
Yes, it is mean of me to admit that, but there you have it. Mike Newton is one big ball of “meh.”

While there wasn’t any lovely get together between Edward and Bella, Farkle still wound me into a ball of UST over Edward’s random, late night calls to Bella, and Bella’s confession to Edward that she broke up with Quil (come on, did he ever really believe they were dating?). Edward wasn’t the only one grinning when Bella made that statement. Farkle amps up the UST with cleverly placed little gems, such as:
“He didn't say goodbye, only "goodnight" in a voice so low and deep it seemed to vibrate through the phone line.”
Farkle? Sweets? I’m dying for some resolution here. And maybe, perhaps, just another little peek at the painting Edward 2. I would also not complain if Bella turned around for a second so I could get another look at the painting she hides in her closet...

Jess - So, at the pushing of my fellow Perv’s I started reading this story and am IN LOVE. I’m not fully caught up but the chemistry and tension between these two already makes me feel tingly and gah!

Jeanne - Farkle, you have pwned me with this fic again and again. I can’t believe there are only TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT! *FLAILS* Seriously, if you’re not reading this it BETTER be because you’re waiting to read it once it’s completed.

Reality Minus Expectations
AH, E/B, Complete

Emmy - Any update of Reality Minus Expectations causes me to pretty much lose my shite and become a gibbering wreck. I don’t know how Mjinaspen manages to coolly and effortlessly deliver such goodies but oh boy she does! This outtake is yet another (VERY and intently) sexy slice of life for our favourite pair and shows us just how they are adjusting to being together.

Jen - I gasped when this alert appeared in my email. I read and loved Reality Minus Expectations when it was complete and didn’t think there’d be any more of these two. We have FGB bidders to thank for this outtake. I have a feeling I’ll be thanking them again and again, though it may be my husband who really owes them the thanks. One of the best things about this E & B is their unabashed embrace of their sexuality, and this outtake has them exploring some new-to-them territory. Unf!

AH, E/B, o/s

Emmy - This was a delightful dish of yummy and sweet served up to us this week. It made me quite swoony. My favourite line was Bella Notte, him calling her that sums up why I fell in love with the geeky lovely awkward Edward that October Nights features. Its just lovely! Bella loves Edward for being Edward, band geek and all. But does he want to be that boy?

Jen - I absolutely adored this. Adored. It’s sweet and lovely with just the tiniest smidgen of angst. First love, band geek Edward, and a tree fort. I smiled for hours afterward.

Jess - I decided to give this a quick read after scanning through the rest of the LR! I am so glad I did. It is just the sweetest, yummiest, little one-shot. I love love love nerdy boys, and it was so heartbreakingly sweet watching him try to be who he thought she wanted only to find she loved him as he is. ::SIGH::


Emmy - This story was a Roundtable Recc previously on the PPSS, but in case you missed it, it really is worth a read. Edward starts off as geeky, nervous, and unskilled. As we see by this chapter (ch 23). Bella’s not only taught him some moves, but let him feel free and relaxed enough to really explore who he is sexually. He’s confident enough in their relationship to really go to town on her! Fuck yeah! This chapter. Edward decides to take control and deliver on one of Bella’s previously verbalized fantasies.... To dominate her.

Teal - If you’re looking for 10K+ words of pure smut and crazy fucking, proceed to this update and enjoy. Sheviking really outdid herself with this one and openly admits that it’s basically PWP that readers can skip if D/s play isn’t their thing, but it was a hell of a lot of fun to read! Even if you haven’t read this story yet and are just in the mood for some non-stop sexing, you could definitely get into this one!

Kitty - ZOMG what a treat this was! Plot? Who needs a fucking plot when Edward goes Domtasitc? Not I says the kitteh! Sheviking really brought the Smutty Von Smutterson with this one and it was pure YUM!

Kimpy - When an author’s note says something like this, I stand up and take notice:
It's twice as long as my regular chapters and if you're looking for plot you may as well turn back now because you won't find any in this one. This is straight up filthy smut...
Um, yes please? Ninapolitan got me hooked on this story ages ago, and I always look forward to Sheviking’s updates. NGL, however, she really outdid herself with this chappie. Bella flirted with Edward in an earlier chapter that she would like to be spanked, handcuffed, and dominated, but Edward was far too self-conscious to actually go for it. Thus, when this chapter FINALLY arrived, and Edward proved to both himself and Bella that he could Dom all over her ass, let me just say that I fastened my seat belt like an experienced perv and dove in for the action. GAH!!!

What I really want to know is what Sheviking has been smoking in her spare time, because she actually warned us to turn back if we were only looking for plot. *whispers to Sheviking* Honey, you never need to apologize for a chapter that is basically a smut sandwich. We can handle it. In fact, we LOVE it. I nommed it up and it left me wanting more. Did you fail to hear my OM NOM NOMs???!

I’m not even going to go into details here, because it is a non-stop smut-o-rama ride that you have to experience first hand in order to genuinely appreciate it. Even if you aren’t reading the entire story, this chapter is worth reading. *fans self* Seriously, this is one delicious helping of smut, so don’t miss out on it.

Oh, and as if the A/N wasn’t enough, Sheviking ends with this little humdinger:
That's what 43 pages of smut looks like.
*clears throat* Yes, ma’am, that’s what I’m talking about. UNF.

Peter/Alec, AH/AU, o/s

Teal - All I have to say is thank fuck for Jen. She always manages to dig up the shiniest little gems, and when she passed this story along to our fellow Pervs, my little Peter-loving ears perked up. So yeah, I was skeptical because I’ve never really been down with Alec. But still, my Peter was in there AND it was slashy AND Jen told me it was delicious. Let me tell you, Lou-La does not disappoint. The descriptions of Alec through Peter’s eyes kept me drooling and pawing for more, and despite the dirty dirty dirty circumstances in which these boys got together, Peter was just so fucking sweet, calling Alec cute and finding himself unable to resist. RAWR. PLEASE go read this, even if you think the pairing isn’t your thing. It will be, my friends, it will be...

Emmy - I think I might have a girl-crush on Lou-La, I LOVE her writing so much. This story is no exception. Its hot, its cute and fabbio to read! I don’t normally read unusual pairings, but these two work oh-so-well! Give it a whirly!

Jen - *giggles* I loved this on first read, and I would not be above begging for more of these two from Lou-La (cue puppy dog eyes). I love Alec as a twink, and holy hell do I love almost-getting-caught-outside sex.

Jess - When I first saw the pairing, I thought, um, no, definitely not. And yet, here I am, once again, absolutely freaking loving this! Like Emmy, I’ve developed a little crush on Lou-La. This was just yummy and so so fun!

E/B, AU, Complete

Teal - This week, another wonderful story came to a close. Beyond Time has been a delightful read, full of AU excitement, mystery, and of course a lot of E/B fluff, and I am sad to see it go. There were lemons prior to the final chapter and the epilogue - ones where Edward and Bella were human and so in love - but here, adding in the vampire dynamic, it was really something special. From breaking into Edward’s childhood home nearly 100 years later and almost getting busy in what is now someone else’s house, to a delicious post-hunting fuckfest, TKegl really nailed it... *snort* What better way to end a story with hot sex and the promise of forever?

Emmy - Cannot believe this is over **sniffs**. I featured Beyond Time a few weeks ago, as although I was really late to the party I was really enjoying it! In earlier chapters the lemons reflected the chaste time to which Bella transported back to find Edward before he was a vamp. This epilogue brought us bang up to date and then some. No holding back this time! ;) I concur completely with Teal, TKegl totally NAILED it. Perfect end to a delightful story. I’m a happy bunny, but sad to see it go.

AH, AU, Slash, Ed/Em, WIP

Kitty - There isn’t much I can say about this update, so I’m just gonna quote two wee little lines...
“Want...,” he groans. “Inside...,” he moans.
*Kitteh flops on the floor like a DED fish*

Jess - Exactly. DED.

Jeanne - Holy Motherfucking Hot SHIT! This fic is killing me slowly and I’m not just talking about the smut, though this sexy shower scene almost ended me. It’s the ever increasing intensity and real world complications in Edward and Emmett’s relationship that tears at my heart, and has me already begging for another update.

AH, Jacob/Esme/Carlisle, O/S

Jeanne - WHY are there not more fics for this incredibly hot threesome? I suppose I should blame myself for only recently stumbling across Risbee and her lovely, sexy and courageous fics. He Watched and We Loved has a simple set up: Esme, Jacob and Carlisle have a special relationship that they get to indulge in once a year. Boy oh boy do they indulge. The UST in the beginning of this fic had me twitching and trembling to keep reading. When they all finally get alone and the clothes come off...Well, you will have to read and find out why this delectable one shot had ME blushing. UNF!

Jen - When Jeanne linked us to this fic I swear that my nether regions tingled from the title alone. I love that it’s told from Esme’s pov--her’s is a voice we hear very little of in fic. And this is not mama-bear protective Esme. This is grown up, confident, sexual Esme, and it is fucking hot. The tone is set early on, with a text Esme receives “My flight just landed. I'll find you. It starts now.” Without knowing who sent the text, or what it specifically means, the message it sends is Game. On. I was about as tightly wound as Esme from that point on. He is Carlisle. We is Esme and Jacob. Carlisle is Esme’s husband. Carlisle is a voyeur. Hot is really not a strong enough word for this o/s. Nuclear level panty melting. I love the idea, the set up, and I fucking love Esme. And maybe I’m a tad bit jealous of her too. UNF!

AH, E/B, O/S

Jess - Sugar. A hot neighbor boy in barely there towel. A Target Rendezvous. Cupcakes. Yeah, these are all the elements I just love love love from Antiaol’s latest o/s, Sugar. I found myself cracking up and trying to keep a straightface in my living room while I was reading this. It’s just pure fun and sexy times and... late night cupcakes with the promise of counter sex. Unf.