Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Lemon Report 12/28/10

The Lemon Report - Fancy finding out what is on the FF bookshelves of the Pervy Girls of the PPSS? The lemon report lets you know our personal favorite updates of the week, and why you should give the fic a try.... It’s a great place to trawl for new recc’s and don’t forget to share your favorite update with us by leaving us a comment.


Jess- I blame Chele for turning me onto Carlisle/Bella fics. I know, you’re probably thinking how blasphemous that is, but I can seriously say that this story is utterly breathtaking. The narrative is beautiful and so well written. Plus, this forbidden relationship is so filled with UST (which you know I love) that is sucks you and spits you out and leaves you begging for more. As I was reading through all the available chapters, I prayed that this chapter (the latest one) had something lemony in it, and sweet heaven in a backseat there was... go read!!!

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S,
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Jeanne - If I have a soft spot for a certain storyline it has to be the long suffering crush on the best friend. I’ve been a sucker for this kind of love story forever. theladyingrey42 does a fabulous job of capturing the confusion, excitement and poignancy of this type of love. While this story was an entry for the Cherry Exchange, so Ed and Bella are both virgins, and yet their first try at intercourse is HOT! I especially enjoyed their clumsy fumbling at foreplay, though I don’t think they even realized what it was. This is a sweet and sexy story that is guaranteed make you Ed/Bella shippers squee your pants off.

Kimpy - I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record here on the Lemon Report, because I’m like a 12 YO Rob Pattinson fangirl when I flail over theladyingrey42 week after week. However, theladyingrey42 keeps writing such good stuff that my enthusiasm is completely warranted.

One of my biggest weaknesses is Bella and Edward being best friends and falling in love. There is something about knowing a person better than anyone else and having it grow into love that turns me into a complete mess of Kimpygoo. With Forever and Ever, theladyingrey42 spoils us with tons of awkward teenage lust and angst, with a helping of wires crossed communication.

The way theladyingrey42 is able to make her characters so vulnerable, and yet so appealing, is one of her signature traits, and this Edward and Bella is no exception. The sexual tension between them is so palpable, yet both of them are convinced that their attraction for the other is unrequited. As they enter high school, Edward’s awkward phase is clearly over, and he blossoms into the beautiful man we know him to be. Bella feels forever the ugly duckling, and naturally, the mean girls make fun of her in the locker room. As a reader, you’re a mere fly on the wall, but you feel her pain acutely, especially when she convinces Edward to date other girls because she doesn’t want to hold him back.

When they finally get their wires uncrossed, their awkward, fumbling, but altogether lovely moment of losing their virginity together is so satisfying and perfect, you want to jump up and down and cheer for these two. The sexual tension, the angst, the awkward--this story has it all.

Jess - I wish I could add something beyond what Jeanne and Kimpy have already said, but I can’t. Suffice it to say that this was the first story I read from The Cherry Exchange and is still one of my favorites.

Emmy - Like Jess, everyone has stolen my words!!! But this fic is fabbio. You must read it!!!!!

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Jeanne - There’s a simple, but none the less entrancing beauty to this story. Bella is the fundamentalist preacher’s daughter and Edward is blind. This doesn’t stop them from falling in love upon first meeting. Their mutual attraction is compelling and their innocent interactions are at times swoon worthy. I’m a cold hard bitch, but this story had me saying aww and fanning myself as I read.

Kimpy - All right, another active ingredient in the Kimpy Kryptonite formula is an Edward or Bella with some sort of disability. Edward is a stutterer? GAH! Suffering from a serious mental health issue? *heartclench* Deaf or blind? Kill me now, because my heart has already melted into a quivering mess. Thus, SydneyAlice already had me at “hello.” Or rather, “cherry pop.”

Charlie Swan as fundamentalist preacher man? Hmm, okay. That was a first for me. Bella as the good girl, always doing what was expected of her? I could see that. Edward is blind? Just moved into town? Attending church with his cousin Jasper? Hears Bella sing and practically falls in love with her in that very moment? Be still my heart. The relationship that ensues from this beginning is rather sweet and innocent, but you still know where things will end up because this *is* the Cherry Exchange contest, after all. The way they explore one another, using a myriad of senses besides Edward’s sight, is erotic and breathtaking. Every touch, whisper, nuance is full of tension. For me, the thing that totally clinched the story for me was Bella’s attitude about losing their virginity together--she sees it as a natural act of love, nothing to be ashamed of, and something to savor and appreciate. I couldn’t agree more.

Jess - I LOVED this Cherry Exchange entry. It was absolutely beautiful. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but love how Bella accepted Edward without even a thought to his blindness. Watching these two grow and fall in love was so full of innocence and simplicity. Absolutely gorgeous.

Kitty - OMG this was so pretty! It gave me happy sighs the whole time

Emmy - I think everyone has already said everything about this fic. It was a very worthy winner of the contest. Its so good. Edward’s difficulties are never trivialized but neither do they dictate. Just a beautiful tale. I love.

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Jeanne - You all know I’m a whore for porn, and you know I’m a dork, but I bet you didn’t know just how much of a dork I am for Star Trek. This story had me at Sex Tips and then it made me squeal like a nerdy teenage girl wearing Spock ears at Star Trek. Seriously, I was jumping up and down as I read this fic. All the fannishness aside, this is a great story about two very (socially) clumsy people falling in love. Edward is a geek, but in such a sexy way. OMFG He’s a sex advice guru for Christ's sake (Bella is his producer and best friend). To top it off they are both virgins. GAH! This story made my laugh, squirm and swoon. Honestly, where the fuck has TKegl been all my life?

Kimpy - The minute Jeanne showed me the title of “Sex Tips and Star Trek,” I was on this story like the Borg in pursuit of Captain Picard. I’m sure it comes to no one’s surprise that I am a Star Trek geek. Yes, Mr. Kimpy once taunted my baby sister, telling her our wedding vows were going to be in Klingon. He even told her that he was planning to dress baby spawn as a Klingon and tote him around for an entire day. Clearly, he understands how to press his sister-in-law’s buttons.

This incarnation of Bella and Edward was Trekker perfection, on so many levels. First of all, Edward is the “Frasier” of a radio show giving sex advice; naturally, Bella is his producer. Secondly, there is all kinds of unspoken sexual tension between them, and there has been for years. But best of all? Bella and Edward are taking a little foray on an upcoming business trip so that they can attend a Star Trek convention together. Oh, joy! Anyone who loves Star Trek will adore all the geeky ST references tossed around in this story. I nearly became undone when TKegl made the egregious error of referring to diehard Star Trek fans as “Trekkies.” Anyone who knows anything about Star Trek knows that they are known as “Trekkers.” I say “nearly,” because she corrects herself with a most awesome secret joke that made me squee, thus saving the day and making me laugh simultaneously. In reference to said secret joke, for the record? My sister-in-law has a “Star Trek Academy” bumper sticker on her car.

Go. Read. Devour. Resistance is futile.

Jess - So, I grew up with a Star Trek obsessed mother, and I too agree that The Next Generation series was the best of all of them. This story had me cracking up the entire way through. Edward as a sex therapist/talk radio personality and Bella as his producer, long time best friend, and secret crush. Together, these two were so adorable as they finally admit their feelings and give in to the sexual tension... UNF!

Kitty - ZOMG SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!! So yeah, I am a ginormous Star Trek fan, I’ve watched every season of every show, seen every movie and visited the Hilton in Vegas, so I just HAD to read this. I mean Edward dressed up like Locutus...KILL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NAO! Borg love FTMFW! I absolutely ADORE friendship secret love in fic and this one was so great from the time she yanked his tie out of his pocket to the sexy good times.

This is a Geekgasm to the core! *makes with the Vulcan salute* Live long and prosper.

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Jeanne - I love porn as much as any other perv, but I really love a story that can also fuck my mind. And Boy-Howdy did belladonna1472 do a number on me with An Enquiry into the Sublime and Beautiful. The interactions, and intellectual foreplay that happens between an educated, adult Edward and a very intelligent, and courageous, teenage Bella knocked me on my ass. While the story is fraught with a million different, very realistic, road blocks to keep these two apart, they just cannot resist the magnetic pull they feel for each other. The UST is off the fucking charts, and while many people may not like Edward, there is no denying the intensity of the connect between him and Bella. This story left me breathless and wanting more.

Emmy - Like Jeanney I too loved this fic. But I REALLY need more of it! Hahahah - I am a greedy bitch... But what do you think BellaDonna? Can I have some moarrrr please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?! ;)

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Jeanne - You don’t meet fic like this every day. This is a rare bird that rolls you over, yanks down your pants and fucks you so hard you forget your own name. Prettier than You is not for the faint of heart and DEFINITELY not for the WussPervs out there. It is, however, fantastically written, with amazing characterizations and has an ending that will make your eyes pop out of their sockets. negative energy is cool does NOT fuck around. From the first paragraph you know you’re not in Kansas anymore. Though, soon enough you don’t care. This Edward is as compelling as his back story is heart breaking. Bella is strong, snarky and sexy as hell. When they get together the world shatters in two, but that’s the messy reality of love, sometimes.

Eddie is a scene stealer in this fic, and the character that I have an intense crush on. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to fangirl this hard over a fan fic character, but damn does Eddie do it for me. This will make sense when you read the fic, trust me.

Jess - Jeanne is so right; this is NOT WUSSPERV approved at all. I think my exact words to her after reading this were, “What the hell just happened? That was tragic.” And while it was, it was so amazing and beautiful. It is very well written. Bella is great and Edward is just heartbreaking. Put on your big girl pants and give this one a chance. It is SO good!

Everything She Does is Magic
by KristenLynn
AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Emmy - Ok this is very late for a Halloweeny recc. But I feel that this can be enjoyed at any time in the year. Its witchy and sweety and lemony. Perfect! I enjoyed the characterizations and Bella’s belief that Edward is only interested in her because of the spell she cast on him the night before... Will she let that get in the way of a night of passion? What will be revealed by the time the night is through? A great read - its good fun but has a bit more substance to it too.

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Emmy - This is one of those stories that made me stop and think. Edward is autistic and moved back after Uni to his hometown, where he meets a new neighbor who is an old face. Edward’s unrest and confusion, how unsettled he is by the changes to his life are perfectly portrayed (imho), and how finding his Easy Bella brings him some peace and sanctuary whilst churning up new feelings and sensations is done amazingly. The lemon is beautiful, never smutty. To me this story shows and reminds us all that any sort of difficulty does not mean that happiness and intimacy should not be there. That sex and sexual feelings and thoughts don’t occur. I love how Bella and Edward learn together, that there are no barriers to ‘them’. Both POV’s were very well done, but Edward’s was , to me, particularly effective:

But she is here. And she remembers me. I held her and she responded. We were 'talking', like we used to do. Almost like we used to do. The language is different now. Just slightly off... like that eighth note on my piano keyboard. Only it isn't flat, it's sharp. Disturbing. Exciting.

Once more, I look at my watch. 4:26 a.m. It is too early, still too early.

Isabella my Easybella just Bella now.

She's back in my life. She is, isn't she? So confusing.

I usually don't deal well with confusion. But even the confusion is different this time. It's a tingling sensation in my stomach; it's pleasant. I don't want her to un-confuse me. I just want her to touch me again. I want to touch her instead of my piano. I want to hold her. Maybe I could play her?

4:42 a.m. Still too early.

AH, Ed/Bella, O/S
part of the Cherry Exchange contest

Emmy - This fic totally had me captivated. It was so different to most of the E/B fics I had read in contest and in the fandom at large. I think the religious themes are used beautifully here. The symbolism of the fruit and temptation was done in a top-notch style. . . . Never feeling contrived or over-blown. I believed in this naive Bella, and this sweet and gentle yet goading Edward... There nervous fumblings and flushings, give way to surety of thought and heart as Bella struggles to reconcile the two parts of her. Brilliantly done.

AH, Ed/Bella, WIP

Kimpy - Dead on My Feet’s Edward and Bella have yet to do the dirty deed, but OMG, does Cesca Marie know how to write UST or what?! This last week’s post was extra citrusy good, and I totally did a fangirl flail over her perfectly played canon moves in this chapter. Bella is more sexually experienced than is Edward, and there are many reasons why they aren’t having sex. Like canon Bella, however, Dead on My Feet Bella is anxious to move things along. These two have a habit of listening to a particular playlist together, often as the last thing they do before saying goodnight. The reason I have to include chapter 32 in this week’s report is because Bella added a special track in a playlist she made for Edward while he was in the hospital. Apparently, she was very down and dirty about the specific things she wanted to do to Edward, and then even included a track of her sounds while she masturbated. Edward’s reaction was positively priceless, and deserves some type of lifetime achievement Golden Lemon award for best use of dirty talking in a fic. His blush, and mouthed words to Bella, who is sitting innocently in a chair next to his bed, all while Esme sits on the other side of the room completely oblivious as to what is transpiring under her nose, was perfect sexual deviousness. I bow at Cesca Marie’s feet. Sheer, utter bliss.

Jess - Yes! Yes! Yes to secret sexy playlists. This story continues to be one of my favorites right now. While I love that, the part that completely made a breakthrough for me was Bella’s reaction to the good news that Edward was better and would likely be going home soon. Finally, we see her very real reactions and how devastating and emotionally draining it is to be strong in the face of people recovering from life threatening illnesses. Cesca Marie continues to impress week after week, and I can’t wait for the next update.

Teal - Although recent events in the plot have kept Bella and Edward from exploring the physical side of their relationship lately, that hasn’t stopped their love and affections from growing, even at Edward’s ickiest moments. I’ve loved seeing the way Bella has built up the UST and shown Edward how much she wants him, no matter what; it’s what he really needs in his weakest, most self-loathing times. This Bella has never denied that she can be a little naughty . . . raunchy . . . wild, and there was proof positive of that in the most recent update. Like the other girls said, she’s a total tease, and it was a delight to read. Now if only we could have a transcription of her dirty monologue . . .

AH, BE Complete

Chele - This is a beautiful story. AFragileLittleHuman does such a magnificent job with descriptive language, that when reading it I can feel my other senses come alive as they compensate for the void of descriptions of sight. Edward and Bella’s love is romantic without being overly flowery and their passionate is palpable.

The final two chapters of this ficlet posted this week, and if you haven’t already read it, now you can have the whole thing at once.

Jeanne - I forgot how much I missed this Edward. I don’t have a lot to add to what Chele has so eloquently stated.

If you are one of those Ed/Bella shippers that’s been wanting something sweet and romantic to read during your holiday break, The Beauty Within is the fic for you. Pour yourself a glass of wine, find a comfy seat next to the fire and read this little gem of a fic.

Emmy - What da whatty now? Jeanee & Chele are fawning over a B/E fic??? AND I HAVE NOT READ IT YET??? Seriously chaps, this is a poor show.... I am gonna have to rectify this one pronto!!! OK! Panic over!! I HAD read this fic!! But STUPID STUPID THICK BLONDIE here forgot to put the alert on!!! So I had no idea there was new chapters!!!!!! DOH! What a twat I be!! So panic over. But don’t be a dipstick like Emmy here. Go read now & ALERT the author!!! Thanks.

Kimpy - We recc’d The Beauty Within earlier this year, and I just loved Edward so much. Imagine my surprise when I got not one, but TWO updates for this story!! It’s like a Wussperv’s dream come true!! I didn’t know what AFragileLittleHuman could do to make this little gem any better than it already was, but oh, did she do it! I can’t elaborate more, but she added the lovely cherry on top of a Lollapolooza sundae. OM NOM NOM.


Anonymous said...

The lemon report is by far my faaavorite update - can't wait to read them all! Thank you ladies for all you do ^_~