Thursday, February 24, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy


Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

An Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy Special on Grooming and Bare Kitties

Special thanks to the Queen of Bare Kitties (yes, her tiara has already been awarded), BRI/ANTIAOL,
for agreeing to take on this special post with the diligence of a true scientist. THANK YOU. <3

I know that bare kitties are all the fandom rage, but whenever I wax or shave, I get ingrown hairs that are wicked unpleasant. Can I prevent them, or should I try to bring back the popularity of the natural look with a pube parade?

Well, first let me say that you should do to your pubes whatever the hell you wanna do to them. If you wanna go au naturel, then do it, baby. But if you want a more, erm, tame (?) look, then let's talk about what you can do to prevent or help those pesky ingrown hairs.

First, I don't suggest shaving. It's a pain in the ass (sort of literally), and you don't even get that truly smooth skin. If you're waxing and still get the ingrown hairs, I'd suggest trying No Trauma Momma, which really does work (along with another product of the same line: No Scream Cream). Be generous with the NTM, putting it on as soon as you get home from waxing, then 2-3 times per day after that (for roughly 2-3 days). You'll probably still have a little redness, but it shouldn't be nearly as bad. Also, I've heard great things about Tend Skin, and even have a bottle, but find that I don't use it now that I've fallen in love with No Trauma Momma. You should be able to get all these products at your spa, or you can order online.

What are your thoughts on personal grooming? I used to shave all the way "down below" because an ex-boyfriend wanted me to, but its gotten old quick and usually just leaves me with gross razor burn. How do the majority of women keep it, and what do guys like? What do you think is the best?

Boy am I glad you asked. Why? Well, because it gave me an excuse to run a (very informal, very possibly inaccurate) survey from 100 of the perviest women I know (aka: Twi-h00rs). Now, before I post the results, let me preface this by repeating what I did for the first question: If you don't want a bare/smooth/groomed kitty, don't have one! What's "the norm" or not really doesn't matter in the big picture, right? Cause, let's face it: it's your cooter that has to feel the pain of waxing. ;)

Now, onto my (obviously highly scientific) poll. I asked three basic questions. 1) How do you keep the lady bits groomed? 2) How does your partner prefer you to have your bits groomed? And, finally, 3) On average, how have past partners preferred it?

Here's the breakdown for each: (conveniently provided via PIE charts)

I'm a 22 year old virgin with some questions about shaving down there. I've never shaved down there (because I'm lacking the motivation and/or desire to impress anyone) with the exception of around the bikini line to wear a bathing suit and I'm just wondering about logistics. I have trimmed down there to make everything a bit "neater" but it itched like a son of a bitch after, and I'm wondering how much more it would itch if I shaved the whole thing off... or do you just have to shave every day to prevent that, because quite frankly that seems like a pain in the ass? Then there's my curiosity about how difficult it is to actually shave down there... I mean there's a lot of nooks and crannies, and it just seems like it'd be a bitch to do that all the time, especially trying to reach around to the back.

Is that something guys are really looking for--girls to be pretty bare, or at least trimmed up down there? 'Cuz right now I'm rocking the au naturel look but I'm curious about switching it up. I'm also wondering about any health implications--I think I read somewhere that it's healthy to have hair down there because it draws away unnecessary moisture... is that at all true? Man, I've been wordy... clearly, I'm very curious. haha. thanks for any answers you can give me.

This is a whoooooole-lotta question, haha. I'mma dissect it and attack it piece by piece. :) First, yes, it will itch if you shave everything. It just does, unfortunately, unless you're one of those lucky (and rare) women who don't get the itchies, don't get bumps or razor burn or ingrown hairs. As for difficulty of shaving down there, it's actually not that bad. It takes a couple different razors, but if you have the right tools, you can get the job done. For the larger parts (above and around the pubic bone, and along your bikini line), I'd use your regular razor (a fresh one). Then, to get into the nooks and crannies, Noxema makes these neato bikini shavers that are small and precise and work wonders. Use those for all the tiny places that are sort of hard to get to. Also, I hope it goes without saying, but foam up. Put loads of shaving cream on to help with the razor burn.

As for what most dudes like, see the above poll. Yes, it seems on the whole that the vast majority of men prefer something at least trimmed, but again, it's your lady bits that are put through the wringer, kwim?

As for health concerns, I'll let the actual nurse answer those questions since I'd just be blowing smoke out of my ass.

Thank you, Bri, for doing such a thorough job with my readers' questions! In regards to your question about pubic hair and vag health, let me just say this: In terms of evolution, pubic hair developed for a reason. One of those reasons is, indeed, wicking perspiration/moisture away from the delicate skin of your lady bits. It also helps keep the area clean. In reality, you could wear a bare kitty for the rest of your life, and your vag would be just fine. You'll notice that you sweat more without the public hair, but that's about it. There are no scary health ramifications from a hairless coochie, so don't let that be the deciding factor in your choice.

I feel weird asking about this, but I'm glad this is somehow anonymous.
You said on the previous post (Feb. 3rd) that hair on the nipples are normal and I'm glad about it.
But I also have hair on the weirdest place. I have them from my belly button and down. Kind of like a happy trail on men.
Is that even normal? I'm Asian, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

As always, there are no weird questions here at Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy, just questions that need honest, nonjudgmental answers. Trust me, every question is completely anonymous, so there is no risk that I will ever find out who you are.

In magazines and nearly everywhere you look, women's bodies have been altered to reflect society's current preferences. Models don't have any unnecessary hair anywhere--under their arms, on their legs, in their bikini line, on top of their lip, you name it. Reality, however, is very different than what you see in advertising. The naked truth is that women have hair in all sorts of places where they feel it shouldn't be. It is completely normal to have hair in any number of places, trust me on that.

You mention that you are Asian. While being Asian per se doesn't mean you have a specific hair growth pattern, Asian hair is, by nature, thick and black. As such, it is more readily apparent when it grows in places where you don't want it to be. One of those places is in the groin, happy trail, upper thighs, etc. If you sit down and part your legs, look at your inner thighs. Chances are, if you are hairy and have dark hair, you will see some errant pubic hairs that grow down to the middle of your inner thighs. It's incredibly annoying, but totally normal.

That being said, there are a few instances where excessive hair growth can be cause for medical concern. If your hormones are out of balance, and you are secreting excess amounts of androgen, it is possible to experience beard-like growth on your face or even chest hair (I mean more diffuse chest hair, not just some hair around the nipples). That isn't normal, and it could signal an endocrine imbalance or disorder. Should you be experiencing that kind of hair growth, I encourage you to speak to your doctor about it.

Another kind of hair growth that would be cause for concern is very thick pubic hair that runs down onto your legs, and can also look like a happy trail in between your belly button and pubic bone. This could be a sign of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS. It makes you more prone to having Type II Diabetes, you have a lot of fluctuation in your estrogen and progesterone levels, so you don't ovulate in a regular pattern, and you have multiple cysts on your ovaries. One of the telltale signs of PCOS is a very hairy nether region. I suggest you talk to your gynecologist on your next visit to see if you need to be tested for PCOS. In all likelihood, you are fine, just hairy... but it is always good to know nothing else like PCOS is a factor.

Is it really unattractive if you are very hairy in certain areas?

The bottom line is that you are the only one who can decide whether or not it is attractive. If your partner prefers you to look a certain way, and you're okay with that, no problem. However, if you really like to be au naturel, it's your call. Unattractive is a relative term; society has all kinds of values and ideals regarding what is beautiful and what is not. It is also a very subjective term--ask 100 people what they consider to be attractive or unattractive, and you are likely to get 100 different answers. Decide what you like, and then rock that look with no apologies. If your partner prefers for you to look another way, you can negotiate that with them, but you are the one who will be dealing with the maintenance, cost, and pain associated with some types of hair removal. Ultimately, it is your choice.

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Anonymous said...

Great post!

christine said...

I also recommend exfoliating to prevent ingrown hairs as well as Bliss ingrown hair eliminating pads.

Anonymous said...

I use Desitin to prevent rash after shaving... my skin is used to it now but it was VERY helpful when I first started shaving beyond bikini line.