Monday, October 24, 2011

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

PhotobucketAsk Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STIs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

Making sure that sex--all forms of sex--is safe, consensual, and FUN.

The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

Dear Nurse Kimpy,I was just wondering, I've sent a few questions in and haven't had them answered as of yet. Do all of them get posted? Is there a long wait or are some of the questions just not 'answerable'? I mean no disrespect and I am not trying to be rude, just thought I'd follow up and ask.Love you and your column :)
First of all, Naughty Nurse Kimpy apologizes that she hasn't answered any of your questions. They don't all get posted, because there are MANY of them. She tries very hard to focus on themes, and sometimes readers ask similar questions, so she'll lump them together. Second, Nurse Kimpy would never take offense at your question--it's fair, and you asked it in a very respectful way. Thank you.Finally, she promises to do her very best to get to your question (eventually)... it's not always a quick process when you only have enough room to answer a few questions a week. Please, be patient. She really does intend to answer them all, at some point in time. :)
I recently met my online boyfriend of a little over a year...and broke up with him. The cuddling we did was minor but there was something he did that just made my skin crawl. It sounds so stupid when I think about it... but when he had his arm around me he would run his fingers in little circles. He would also do this when his hand was on my leg. It felt like, to me, that he was implying more than I was ready for but I don't know. In your experience do girls, or even guys, have that sense that makes their skin crawl when something isn't right? Not a sort of "in danger" feeling, just that something doesn't click with them?
There is a great book on this very subject by Gavin de Becker, called The Gift of Fear. In it, he explains that many of us, particularly women, have been trained not to rely upon our intuition about situations that just don’t feel quite right. When someone needs help, we feel compelled to help--it’s the nice thing to do. Criminals, in turn, use that compulsion to their advantage, which allows them to more easily commit an assault, or rape, or do whatever it is they intend to do.According to the author, victims tend to feel a sense of fear before an assault takes place. It’s something left over from our earliest days as humans, when our “fight or flight” instincts meant the difference between surviving another day, or ending up as part of the food chain. Adrenaline fuels this response, and it helps to make us acutely aware of subtle, almost imperceptible changes.Nurse Kimpy encourages you to listen to that inner voice, or pay attention to those things that make your skin crawl, because it’s a very powerful indicator that something isn’t quite right. I think you were very smart to pay attention to your intuition, because no matter how well you think you may know someone online, the fact is, anyone can be fooled. It’s so easy to create a persona, to become someone you aren’t, when you’re online, but when you meet face-to-face, it’s pretty hard to hide who you really are. Your question is especially pertinent because we’re all online, interacting with all kinds of people within the fandom, and you can never be too careful. If your heckles are raised, even if you didn’t feel “in danger,” it’s still a good idea to pay attention to your gut reaction. Well done, you!
Hi, I don't know if it is appropriate to ask you this, but I'm really nervous, and I noticed you mentioned Plan B… and I have to ask someone. The thing is I had sex with my boyfriend on the eighth day of my cycle, and we used protection (condom) so I was confident everything was ok. But then, the next day all I could think about was how things could have gone wrong. Like the condom failing (though he says he checked it)Like there was a moment (in between penetration, meaning he was not inside me) he got soft, but never changed the condom... Like a condom he changed because there was air at the top… but never checked that one, etc.(I know, I can’t believe I was so stupid)The thing is, I freaked out. Obviously. (Still am). So the next day I decided to take the pill (Plan B) but what scares me is that I waited 32 hours. (so stupid, again)My cycle usually lasts 30-33 days, and now on my thirteenth day I started bleeding (five days after the pill). Is that my period? Am I not pregnant? If not, when should I expect my period? Is there still a chance I am pregnant?When can I take a pregnancy test?I would really really really appreciate your response!
It seems to me that the overriding issue here isn’t just about how to use Plan B, it’s your real concerns about birth control failure. When your partner is the one responsible for using birth control, you lose a lot of control. In fact, you’re trusting your partner to use the method safely and effectively. In your case, relying upon someone else is a cause for some significant anxiety. That being said, it’s probably a good idea for you to consider another option for a birth control method that you are responsible for using. There’s nothing wrong with continuing to use not only a condom, but also using another birth control method, like the Nuva ring, the patch, or birth control pills. These are all very highly effective methods of birth control that should greatly ease your concerns about getting pregnant.Waiting 32 hours isn’t stupid, so please don’t deride yourself. Plan B is effective for up to 72 hours after you’ve had unprotected sex or experienced a birth control failure. Using Plan B within 72 hours will prevent 7 out of 8 pregnancies from occurring. You actually did a really responsible thing by using Plan B.If you bleed after taking the Plan B, that’s the main indicator that you’re not pregnant. Once you take the Plan B, your period can arrive earlier or later than usual, and it could be lighter or heavier than usual. If your period is more than seven days later than your usual cycle, it could mean that you’re pregnant. Since yours arrived just five days after you took the pill, you can consider that to be your period, and that you’re not pregnant. If you don’t experience a period within three weeks of taking the pill, you should see your physician.You can take a pregnancy test at any time, but you will yield the most accurate results if you wait until you’ve missed your period.
Hey NNK! :) You're just awesome, by the way. Question: Are healthy, safe, respectful threesomes possible? If so, how would one go about making it happen? Pretty much all my fantasies are makes me feel kind of guilty (I'm a stereotypical good girl), but I'd like to think there's a way they can be safe and respectful.
Yes, absolutely, healthy, safe, respectful threesomes are possible. My fellow Perv, Einfach_Mich, did a wonderful PPSS University post on threesomes that should cover just about any questions you might have. I suggest you start your quest for knowledge there.Trust me, good girls can have threesomes, too. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about something that’s more daring or risque than your usual experiences, and there’s nothing wrong with pursuing a fantasy to see if reality matches the anticipation you experience from your fantasies.

Naughty Nurse Kimpy, I need help!First of all, let it be known that I am an Australian. I was trawling the Internet the other day and happened to come across a 'sex club' website for a new club. It's actually the first legal sex-on-premises club in my city, and now that I've read about it, I can't stop fantasizing about it! But, then I immediately see myself as dirty.I am married to the love of my life, in my late twenties and my husband and I are not swingers. He is straight but I recently, am starting to think that I am bi-curious...? I can only get off watching girl on girl porn and while I have no intentions of being with another man, I would not be opposed to having a threesome with another woman. Is this common or am I alone?I have not told my partner and am kind of afraid of what he would say...What should I do Nurse Kimpy?

  1. Clearly, Naughty Nurse Kimpy needs to visit you in Australia, because a sex-on-premises club sounds all kinds of awesome. I mean, how cool is that? I just love the Land of Aus.
  2. Fantasizing about sex, any kind of sex, doesn’t make you dirty, it makes you human. Our brains are wired that way. So please, by all means, you have my permission to fantasize all you want. Really. Go ahead.
  3. Is fantasizing about threesomes, feeling bi-curious, or only being able to get off on girl-on-girl porn, common? It’s all within the range of normal limits, so please don’t torture yourself over those inclinations. Between heterosexuality and homosexuality, there’s a big gray area. The Kinsey Scale rates sexual orientation on a scale ranging from strictly heterosexual to strictly homosexual. As you can see, there’s a lot of room for bi-curious in there. Although Naughty Nurse Kimpy typically eschews the word normal, this is one exception... because it *is* normal to fall anywhere on the Kinsey Scale.
  4. Please read the PPSS University post on threesomes that I referenced in the previous question. I think you will find a lot of valuable information in there that can ease your troubled conscience.
  5. I admit, there are few things in life that are scarier than admitting a fantasy to a significant other. It makes you feel vulnerable and uncertain. However, I think the most important thing you can do for your spouse’s benefit is to be honest. It’s important to emphasize that your love for him hasn’t changed, but you find that you have this interest in women that you’d like to try. I think it’s very cool that you want him to be involved in this discovery with you. And honestly? I think most guys would be SO stoked to learn that you: A) Want to have a threesome, and B) He gets to watch you sex it up with a woman up close and personal. I think explaining this fantasy to him before acting upon it makes all the difference in the world.
  6. Remember Naughty Nurse Kimpy’s mantra--sex should be safe, consensual, and fun. Please, please, please be sure to use protection when you play, especially when you’re bringing in a third party to the relationship.

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