Team PackPerv: Holding Sam by MeraNaamJoker

We are Pervs that dig the danger and maybe even the fur that comes with being a Pack lover. Team PackPerv isn’t afraid to take on the shape shifters of Quileute. We welcome all the sexy possibilities that come walking on the wild side. So join us in the sunlight and run with the wolves. As always clothing is optional.

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The Team PackPerv Pick is...


Title: Holding Sam
Author: MeraNaamJoker
Chapters: 20 (Complete)
Words: 108,258
Reviews: 1162
Summary: Sam saves Bella after she gets lost in the woods. She returns the favor in more ways than one. A romance set in AU New Moon.

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Guest Perv: TwiCharmed Why Sam and Bella? First of all why would you ever turn down an Alpha male? Also, I have always loved the idea of strong, solid Sam being the rock that Bella can lean on. But what MeraNaamJoker has done in Holding Sam has been far more incredible. MNJ was able to take canon Bella and deliver to us what worth applauding.

Sam is very much the Alpha I have grown to love but with a vulnerability that makes him even more sexy. It’s amazing how I am able to feel his power even when his has own self doubt when it comes to Bella. The result is sexy times that are laced with an emotional intimacy that left
me panting.

Sam groaned, throwing his arm back over his eyes and arching into my grasp.

"Oh, fuck." Holy shit, and I thought I was turned on before. Everything was throbbing with want now, set on fire by his helpless response. I did it again, and he begged between gritted teeth, "Bella, please."

You don’t want to miss Holding Sam. It is an incredible New Moon AU that leaves you rooting for real love :)

Jen - It’s no secret that I have a total girl-crush on MeraNaamJoker and would likely read the telephone book if someone told me she’d re-written it. Fortunately for all of us wolf loving girls, she has written something so much better.

Holding Sam is a slow burn New Moon AU. Have you ever wondered about Bella forming a connection with Sam because he was the one to find her in the forest? I have, and I’m happy to say that the plot MeraNaamJoker has come up with far exceeds any possibility I’d ever considered.

As much as I thought SM’s blank pages worked well to illustrate Bella’s post-abandonment state, I far prefer MeraNaamJoker vision of Bella. Even in her near catatonic state, Bella is feisty, refusing to agree to go to Florida as Renee requests. She’s courting danger in order to make the pain from the Cullens leaving fade—she drinks, wants to have casual sex, even offers herself to the wolves as bait to lure Victoria in. She truly does not care if she lives or dies.

Sam is even more damaged than Bella. He was rejected time after time by his imprint, Emily. He eventually phased in front of her and hurt her. She sent him away after that, effectively breaking the imprint, and breaking Sam.

Sam is skittish of being too near Bella and believes he’ll hurt her like he hurt Emily. It takes time, but he gradually becomes more comfortable around her. Helping Sam becomes a goal of Bella’s, and they both have some gradual healing as they save one another.

Bella starts coming out of her fugue state and finally notices how hot Sam is. It happens a little at a time, but every once in a while she’ll think how nice it would be to have his hands on her. It takes Sam longer to allow himself to be vulnerable in front of her, but the UST is THICK, and you will be dying waiting for them to share a kiss and more. She knows how frightened Sam is of hurting her, and treats him like a wild animal who needs to be approached slowly. I love the way MeraNaamJoker talks about Sam’s wolf as a separate part of him. Although she’s just trying to acclimate Sam to her touch in a non-sexual way, the scenes are still very sexy as the UST builds.

Still moving at a glacial pace, I brushed my fingertips over his wrist bones, across the sparse scattering of dark hair between them, and back. He made a miserable sound suspiciously close to a moan. "You're not going to hurt me, Sam." I moved fractionally forward again, sliding my hand up his arm—nice, the back of my mind noted at the feel of his muscles under my palm—to his shoulder. His head fell back against the wall. "No, it's all right. See? I know it's hard to think straight when you're scared." Tell me about it. I heard my vampire ex-boyfriend's voice in my head when that happened, which was probably the opposite of straight thinking. I leaned forward until the front of my body brushed his. That was undoubtedly stupid, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

His voice trembled. "You're insane. You're absolutely crazy."

"Probably." I tilted my face up and rested my chin on his chest, feeling it rise and fall far too rapidly. "But I'm right about this."

Sam and Bella have a very non-traditional courting, if you will. It includes this like long talks about finding meaning for living by helping others and flirting via making their way through one of Bella’s panic attacks. I just love it. Bella has a fabulous and hilarious inner monologue, for example:

Hip-kissing meant... more than friendship-like, right? Unless he just wanted to be a semi-regular hook-up or something... I was so bad at relationship navigation.

One of my favorite non-smutty aspects of Holding Sam is Charlie, because he is an aware and alert Charlie! He calls Bella on her lying, asks if she’s having safe sex, and grounds her. Hey, book Charlie! How’d you get to be Chief when you’re generally so clueless and unobservant? Take lessons from this Charlie.

I could go on and on; there are so many wonderful bits to this fic. You will love when they start to get physical. It’s not only sexy but also imbued with humor as these two damaged souls work on healing one another and themselves. MeraNaamJoker writing is always wonderful, and her unique take on SM’s universe is worth reading even if you’re not a wolf girl. It’s now complete, so go check it out. I’m sure you’ll love it as much as we PackPervs do.


Chele - Admittedly, When Sam walks out of the woods in New moon cradling Bella in his arms, my mind went there. I totally shipped them. Admit it, you did too. Edward had been such a dick, and Jacob was in elementary school the last time we saw him. Sam was 6’4” of bare-chested, muscle-bound savior. I remember thinking “THAT’s a story I want to read.” Too bad no one had written it.

MeraNaamJoker has finally given me everything I could have hoped for in that moment. Sam is written brilliantly, the reluctant hero and vigilant pack leader. His vulnerabilities, caused by all of the history of failed love with Leah and Emily, balancing out his ever-present physical and mental strength.

Bella is no slouch, either. Instead of going the “stay in my room for three months” route, she behaves like a normal teenager and rebels by sneaking out and spending time drinking with her friends, all for the added bit of Edward’s chiding voice via hallucination.

In short, these characters are real people, placed in extraordinary circumstances, who, despite insurmountable odds, find in each other passion and love. It is brilliantly done, and it doesn’t hurt at all that it’s infused with MeraNaamJoker’s style of ridiculously hot eroticism. Indulge your inner pack perv and secret romantic, read this RTFN!

Jeanne - To avoid repeating what the other ladies have already said, I will simply focus on the jaw dropping characterizations of Sam and Bella. There only a handful of fan fictions that make Sam Uley a three-dimension character, much less a heroic one. Yet in Holding Sam we see a different view of the Alpha of the La Push pack.

It’s important to note that aside from the broken imprint there is little difference between this Sam and the one in canon. What is different in Holding Sam is that Bella meets Sam Uley herself before getting anyone else’s (Jacob, Leah, etc) impression of him. Not only that, but in Bella’s most vulnerable moment she see Sam at his most vulnerable and she is the one with the strength to keep him alive.

Contrasts, this story is full of the compression of what is seemingly different, but is at it’s most fundamental level the same. Imprinting and the bond between Edward and Bella. Sam’s self neglect through over dedication to his Alpha duties and Bella’s self neglect through crazy, immature behavior. They are both running. They are both injured. They are both so much stronger and better than they realize.

That is what I love the most about Holding Sam is how perfect Sam Uley and Bella Swan truly are for each other. Theirs is not an epic fairy tale love. It is a dirty, messy, real kind of love. The kind where someone holds your broken, bleeding body together. Where you know that both love other people, but can still find room in your hearts to choose to love each other. Not because it’s fated, because it’s healthier, and better than the other kinds of love.

Teal - You know, until now, I never really saw the allure of Sam/Bella stories. Aside from him finding her in the woods and carrying her back to Charlie, there really wasn’t much in canon to link them. Right about now, you’re probably glaring at the screen and thinking, “Yeah, this from the girl who ships Bella with Peter,” and you’re right - it’s less about the pairing and more about taking a sexy male character and pairing him up with our quintessential It Girl. Well, you know what I mean...Bella is the It Girl in this fandom, like it or not. And maybe I’m just too attached to Sam/Leah angst-fic that I’ve been blinded to this possibility.

BUT...BUT, BUT, BUT I’m a sucker for a good AU, and it’s rare to find truly captivating wolf pack AU multi-chaps. Leave it to MeraNaamJoker to prove to me that Sam/Bella can be sexy, edge-of-your-seat, and believable.

Where our good friend Stephie M. used the power of the imprint to prove that love truly forgives all, MeraNaamJoker took a completely different approach to how Emily could have reacted. Instead, she used Sam’s unfortunate phase to put him on equal ground with Bella. Both had their heart ripped out. Both carried the weight of abandonment. Both tried - in unhealthy ways - to distract themselves from the pain they couldn’t otherwise escape.

And that’s where they found one another.

And hope.

And love.

Fuck me, if it isn’t gut-wrenching, angsty, and hot all at once.

"I'm scared," I confessed as he overlaid me. What if I couldn't come all the way back and lost time the way I had when Edward first left?

"I know. It's going to be fine, though. Just hold onto me."

Obediently, I wound my arms around his neck and entwined my legs with his. Everywhere our skin came into contact, the frost retreated from my veins, but it wasn't enough. With an impatient noise, I arched my back to urge him on. Leaning on one elbow, he reached down with his free hand to line himself up with me, rubbing against me until I was wet enough to take him in.

Once he was fully inside, he leaned back a little on his knees and one hand so he could kiss me. My mouth had thawed enough to kiss him back. The gentle pressure of his lips against mine chased away the remnants of vampiric chill. Abruptly, I returned fully to myself, in the present, with the man I loved over and around and within me. I cradled his face in both my hands and spoke wonderingly as I remembered, "I love you."

Honestly, there is so much that can be said about this fic, and I know that we’ve told you a lot. If you’re not convinced by now that this story is worth reading, well then, there’s just no hope for you, and I might have to disown you as a pervling. Okay, I’m kidding, but I do sincerely think you’d be crazy to not give this one a shot. That’s your cue to bid us farewell for now and click the link above. And of course, enjoy!