Our Dear Emmy gets up close and personal with the americnxidiot

Our Dear Emmy gets up close and personal with the americnxidiot

This week we have the Pack's Resident Reader & Reviewer Extraordinaire Emmy talking with the ender of all usage of "Closer" in the fandom americnxidiot.

Let's see what these two crazy chicks talked about:

Questions for amercnxidiot:

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Emmy: Music is massive for me. I adore the music you choose for YGMCTG - they work so well with the chapters, the emotions and the pacing..What made you make music such a big feature of You Get me Closer to God - Did the music come before the story or the story before the music?
AI: The music definitely came before the story. Believe it or not, I hadn't ever heard the song "Closer" by Nine Inch nails until about two months before I wrote the prologue. Horrible, I know. I listened to mostly Billy Joel growing up. Anyway, after I wrote the prologue I had a loose system. I went through my iTunes and looked for a song to fit the mood of the chapter, and then started writing.


Emmy: Do you write to music? - Or do you hear a song, it inspires you and then you write.. I know some folk can't have any distractions when writing?
AI: I can't write to most music. It distracts me. (Time for me to sound weird again haha) I can only write to songs that I feel rather than hear. If it's a song that I enjoy singing along to, I generally can't use that. But if it's a song like "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You" or anything by Elliott Smith, it hits me at a deeper level, and I can use that.


Emmy: What is your favourite sexy song? Favourite romantic song? Favourite - I am going to cry myself to sleep song?
AI: (Emmy I'm going to change my mind about these soooo many times haha)
Emmy: Excellente!
AI: Sexy: to be honest "Secret" by Maroon 5 because Songs About Jane is an amazing album, "Touch Me" from Spring Awakening, and at the risk of being obvious "Closer" by NIN.

Romantic: See I'm weird, so while I have a special place in my heart for the classics ("In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel ftw), I tend to like more upbeat ones. "The Reason" by the Weakerthans, "Made Up Love Song #43" by Guillemots, "Going to Pasalacqua" by Green Day

Cry myself to sleep: "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab, "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, "Failure" by Laura Marling, if I'm pissed then "Bracelets" by The Spill Canvas.

Emmy: I love your music choices... Sigh! If I hadn't loved you for just the amazing hot lemonade and brillo writing you produce I would have loved you purely for putting Laura Marling down as Bella's song... That made my month to read that! :)

AI: Laura Marling is just... fuck me, she's awesome. I met her last year and she was so quiet and I really wanted to fangirl on her, but I managed to contain myself.

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Emmy: Where does your lemony inspiration come from? Experience? Friends stories? Imagination? The shirtless Bobby-Dazzler ~ combo of all?!
AI: A few things here and there come from experience, but most of the specifics come from imagination. RL may certainly inspire some things (as does shirtless Bobby-Dazzler to be sure). But for some reason I have trouble writing about my own stories. I tried once writing a one-shot based off some fun I had in Scotland, but it felt too much like a Mary Sue.


Emmy: Were you embarrassed to write your first lemon & to post it?
AI: Absolutely! I'm not even sure exactly how I decided to write it. I hadn't written any fanfiction since 2005 and that was incredibly fluffy stuff (it also wasn't very good haha). I think I was listening to music (guess what song) and thought that I'd like to see something written about that. But instead of searching... I just wrote. I think I was more nervous than embarrassed, a little terrified that someone I admired would read it and hate it.


Emmy: Lemon you are most proud of?
AI: I'd either say the prologue from YGMCTG because I was so nervous to post it, or the one from "Creature of the Night". That fic could have been a cracked out mess and... well it is a cracked out mess but it made me laugh while I was writing it. Though that may have had more to do with Rocky Horror playing on the TV as I typed. I as a huge fangirl of you loved them both.. :)


Emmy: I found the YGMCTG so immediately sexy and primal whereas I found the CotN story more fun & frothier.. Do you have a preference for style of Lemon?
AI: I'm a big fan of the idea that "less is more". This becomes more true as I continue to write. In fact recently I wrote a... I guess you could call it a lemon for "Beautiful Beat" that was 100-200 words and used no actual dirty words. The closest might have been "groan" or "push".

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Emmy: Did your writing change for being in another country? ~ If so how?
AI: I'm not sure if it's from being in another country or more because last semester was my first as an English major rather than a premed, but I like to think I've improved since January. Though I do notice some 'u's slipping into my 'favorites' every so often these days.


Emmy: So Beautiful Beat! I Bloody Love it! No surprise - as I hearts you bad. But what inspired that? Its an AU vamp fic... & I love your take on the thing that most people had some sort of issue with in BD... Tell me all about how/why this came about!?
AI: I was in a group chat a couple months ago with some people talking about our various thoughts on BD fail, and we started half-assed brainstorming ways it could have been better. After sitting on an idea from that convo for a few months I decided, eh, why not.


Emmy: Chapter/Story you are most pleased with?
AI: Chapter 20 (Maniaque) of Cascade and Cyanide... or possibly the epilogue from C&C.
Emmy: I am an angst pussy, & I was so worried about reading C&C as ever since I read YGMCTG for the Shack I was royal fangirling on your arse big style.. & I was just smitten by it. It was the emotional layering in that story & the genuineness of the characters and the truth in their narratives that hooked me. I was lost to it immediately. It is deffo an achievement to be proud of.


Emmy: General story inspiration where do you get it from - the original series; films; rl or the power of your mind?
AI: With the exception of "Beautiful Beat", it has all started with music. I got the idea for C&C after spending too much time listening to "The Murder Mystery" by The Velvet Underground on repeat. After the idea is there, I look at the underlying conflict of the story and just start outlying until the story is planned out from beginning to end.

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Emmy: Who is your Edward? RobWard?
AI: This may make me sound very bizarre, but I don't picture anyone as Edward. I only imagine him in parts: the hair, long fingers, pale skin... but there isn't a set face. So I may see Bella running her hand over a toned back, but I won't see him smiling at her. Though very recently when betaing chapter 12 (I think?) of "The Office" I did picture Rob for the first time in all his push-the-shirt-off-his-shoulders Italian glory.
Emmy: *sigh* lets take a moment to honour that gorgeousness shall we.... rarrr I think the bobbydazzler deffo has the hands you described!!
AI: His hands. GOD his hands! I'd write an ode to them, but that's creepy haha
Emmy: But would make a great one-shot!!! ;)


Emmy: So who wins? RobWard? Or Edward?
AI: They're really not the same in my head. But if I had to pick one to date I'd pick Rob. He's pretty much exactly my type. Oh, and TomStu can come too.

Emmy: SO as you are Team RobWard... Favourite screen look of his? His Dali look, EC or Cedric or perhaps Remember Me (although from the stills it looks like its just him! ;] ). & Favourite look for him? TuxRob? ScruffRob? BuzzCutRob? Smoking(a fag not as in smoking hot!)Rob?

AI: Honestly? He's my absolute favorite favorite favorite in The Bad Mother's Handbook. Geeky Rob wins. Though the stills from Remember Me (particularly the BIKEWARD PICTURES OMG) and the copious smoking is certainly trying to sway me. It might even be working ;)
Emmy: BikeWard is WIN! I love those pics... New banner for your story methinks?
AI: Hey if someone makes it, I'm all for it. My photoshopping = fail.
(^^ personally love this one:)

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Emmy: How did you get into Beta-ing? Did you offer or were you approached?
AI: I first got into betaing by posting on the beta thread on Twilighted. I thought it sounded interesting. I got a couple of people who were interested (at the time no one knew who I was), one of whom was Dawn/kyla713 and... well, see the answer above hehe.


Emmy: So How does that work when you Beta someone who is supremely team RobWard like the gorgeous Christina? Does it affect your view on RobWard? Does such an emotionally sexy story like the office change your views on sex or lemons in FF? Or was your compatibility from the outset one of the reasons why you guys work so well?
AI: I am team RobWard right with her haha. I actually met Christina through kyla713, cofounder of The Office and author of my very first beta fic (or at least the only one that actually continued hah) Anything but Conventional. Christina jumped in to help Dawn with ABC and then somehow their pervy minds dreamt up the Beautiful Bastard and the rest was history. We work well together because of my purely selfish motto: "I won't let you post shite."

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Emmy: Weirdest Review or response to one of your chapters or stories?
AI: Probably the person who thought Edward in C&C was messed up because he was drinking cascade and cyanide.
Emmy: I just spat Kopparberg cider on my lap top reading the latter weirdo-ism! Bwahahahah what a bif bag!


Emmy: How do reviews/feedback affect you and effect you?!
AI: Hahah I love that you included both. I think it affects me how it affects any author... the nice reviews inspire me to keep writing. The rounded and thought out reviews make me think and sometimes even make me consider a side of my story I hadn't before. The flames... fuck the flames. I have gotten very few, but my thoughts are if you can't say it signed in, I can't take you seriously. You clearly don't believe your words enough to stand by them. Why should I?


Emmy: How has your RL world been impacted by FF and the fandom?
AI: Well at the moment I'm typing this (3 June) I am at the end of an impossibly busy month for my life, so honestly the writing I had to do was a hinderence. Between betaing, prior committments, and a story I'm working on I got swamped and spent my last week before work started stuck on my computer. I definitely read less books hah.
Emmy: I still don't know how you writers do it..I barely keep up as a reviewer!!!

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Emmy: Biggest inspiration within FF?
AI: Jandco, and I know that's typical, but there's a reason for that. She is able to update so quickly when she writes a story and her work doesn't suffer at all for it. I think she's very talented.
Emmy: Is it really embarassing for me to say I have hardly read any of hers? You know when you are scared to try a legend when the hype is so intense?


Emmy: Proudest moment within the fandom?
AI: Probably when I finished C&C. I would say when I finished YGMCTG, but I haven't exactly let go of that story yet haha.
Emmy: Yeah but I LOVE that on a random day a new sideshot appears... Its that finding a fiver in your pocket feeling. - Something unexpected that makes you well chuffed!


Emmy: Most surreal moment within the fandom?
AI: When withthevampsofcourse recced C&C on the Temptation podcast. I didn't even realize she knew who I was, so I was really excited.
Emmy: Your fangirl mo huh? :) - Mine was being asked to join the PP I practically passed out with squeeeee when that happened! :)
AI: I've had several fangirl moments over the last several months. It's a little less often these days but it still happens :)

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Emmy: What film/book/character/musician/actor is the sexiest for you?
AI: Rob/TomStu is the obvious option, so I'll be original haha. Joel McHale... don't laugh haha. He's tall, cute, and hilarious. If he weren't married with kids and 15 years my senior he'd be a complete and total catch.


<--a guy who makes me laugh will always get a boost in my books.

Emmy: One Lemon Everyone should read?
AI: The one from the chapter titled "Fuse" from My Brother's Best Friend. Guh x398928.
Emmy:Any chance of the link.. I haven't read that one! ;)
AI: Yeah, http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4369590/12/ :) I'm serious. Guh.
Emmy:TA babes!! ~ read it! NICE! ;)


Emmy: So Fave position?
AI: My favorite position is locked away in a cupboard--hiding from this question. NEXT.
(full credit to Pastiche Pen for being more clever than my "uhhh... um...")


Emmy: Most Embarrasing sexual experience?
AI: Haha okay, long story time. I was in Scotland for three days on Valentine's Day weekend with my two gay friends this past February. We went on a bus tour where the tour guide advocated falling in Deep Scottish Love with the countryside. We stayed with the same group, crashing at a hostel at Loch Ness (which conveniently had a pub). Anyway after having three drinks or ten, I ended up hooking up with a boy from New Zealand in the empty hostel pub at three in the morning... it was Valentine's Day after all. Apparently we were not as stealthy as we thought, because someone saw two people fooling around (though they didn't know it was us). The entire day, the tour guide made little quips while trying to figure out who it was. My personal favorite was "Looks like someone got some deep Scottish love last night."
Emmy: & you know you are setting yourself up for lots & lots of Loch Ness MONSTER stories now don't you? .... ;)


Emmy: Any sexual experience that inspired you to feature it in a story? or inspire you to write?
AI: Like I said above, I tried once using some RL smutty inspiration, but it felt so Mary Sue. I could possibly use my first real kiss story (ignoring the awkward as hell very first one hehe) for a fic. It was rather sweet.


Emmy: Thongs, Briefs or Shorts?
AI: Boy shorts. They're comfortable and they make my butt look good hehe.


Emmy: Lace, Cotton or Silk?
AI: Cotton for every day, lace for fun.

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Emmy: The one FF story that EVERYONE should have read?
AI: The Teenage Angst Brigade


Emmy: One album everyone must own?
AI: The Wall by Pink Floyd, or The White Album by the Beatles. Or... Alas I Cannot Swim by Laura Marling... fuck, this is hard haha. I also am a superfan of American Idiot by Green Day. Shocker, huh?

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Emmy: Anything you miss from blighty/London?
AI: Falafel wraps from the stand with the yellow sign by King's Cross Station and the fact that chips (Emmy: french fries to our American friends) come with everything. Also, being able to drink legally haha.
Emmy: he he heheh!


Emmy: So fave tipple? Did you try real london (Brit) beer/ale/cider? Or are you, like me, a cocktail girl?
AI: My top choices were always either Guinness on tap or a whiskey double with limonade. I'm a big fan of Brit/Irish ales and ciders. Though I am not even a little averse to cocktails. The only things I really don't like are Jack Daniels and straight gin. Ick.

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Emmy: What's the worst thing you have ever done whilst drunk? (rude or lewd or biggest mistake?!)

AI: Well one time I was drinking with some friends and we decided to go pool hopping. That failed so we ended up running through someone's front lawn through sprinklers. Unfortunately in my drunken fun I failed to notice the pond in their front yard and not only jumped into the pond, but took out the small fountain statue when I was trying to get out as well. I also have suffered a few drunk injuries including a broken middle finger the night before a Calculus final (to this day I still don't know what happened) and this one night I woke up on a couch in Prague with second degree burns on my finger and a badly scraped knee cap.

Emmy: Guilty Pleasure's ~ Do you have any? Music? FF? Food?
AI: My musical guilty pleasure? I hope you realize that by admitting this outside of just g-chat I'm losing a ton of my cred haha. But I own the soundtrack and DVDs to all three High School Musicals. Food? Potatoes are a drug to me, any form... chips/french fries, crisps/chips, baked potatoes, hashbrowns... so delicious.

Emmy: you forgot good old British Mash! - did you try a proper London Pie & Mash from a proper pie 'N Mash shop with the liquor? ;)
(Pie & Mash) (proper old school cockney fair)
AI: I don't know if this is proper, but I did love steak & guinness pies and mash from different pubs in the Islington/Bedford Square area. This was actually the last British food I ate before I left. My actual last meal? Pizza Hut. Everything closes so early in London.
Emmy: Actually no... Its real proper old school London. The liquor is bright green and comes from eels? & the pie is supposedly steak?! There are only a couple of shops left open. Most of them have closed down :( .. (says the veggie who has never tried them! bwahahaha! But its heritage stuff & my London fam are all addicts..) & you think London closes early try fecking Scotland!!

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From Ninapolitan:

Why do you hate vowels? Where did your ficname come from?
AI: When you're 15 and living in Philadelphia in 2004, disillusioned with your government and angry that back surgery made you quit doing gymnastics, vowels take the brunt of your aggression. Every war has casualties. Mine just happens to be the letter "a". I went through a really huge Green Day phase around that time, actually listening to solely their albums for almost an entire year. Once that obsession slowly ebbed, as they do, I moved onto Pink Floyd. Apparently I got vowel happy that time and ended up with an extra "e" in my LJ name "youarereceeding".


If you got kicked out of the US which country would you live in of all the places you've traveled?
AI: Scotland. Without a doubt. Though I'd make a point to visit Paris frequently so I could keep up on my French. I mean look at this! (this is Loch Ness btw, and it wasn't even close to the prettiest thing I saw there).


You're a youngin' at least compared to my Mrs. Robinson ass, do you prefer older men or ones closer to your age?
AI: I think I'm probably attracted to people three or four years older than me, only because I'm often a little too serious to mesh with people my age (and I have no patience for tools and frat bros). However I am in Manhattan, so there's a lot of my type of people there around my age.


Next time you go to Europe, can I come? If not, will you bring me home a European hunk that doesn't speak English and is obedient?
AI: You can totally come to Europe with me. Spanish and Italian men are very aggressive, if ya know what I mean.

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From Vixen1836:

Rachel, you've traveled all over Europe. Have you noticed the Twilight obsession taking over globally as it seems to? Do you have any good stories of incidents in which you've been reminded of your Twi obsession while travelling abroad.
AI: When I was on a bus tour of Scotland, there were two girls talking about how hot they thought Rob was. Otherwise I really didn't see it, but to be fair I was surrounded by mostly Americans. I did see a piano scarf in Florence (which is near Volterra heh) and had to buy it. Now ElleCC can be reminded every day that Scotch won :)


Kill, Marry, Fuck: Rob, Kellan, Hot Bitch - and why?
AI: Marry Rob, Fuck Hot Bitch, Kill Kellan. Rob is a no brainer, and (this may lose me some friends hah) I'm not really a fan of Kellan. Frat bros do absolutely nothing for me.
Emmy: (ME NEITHER! We can duck from the rotten tomatoes together Rach!)


What is your favorite classic novel, why, and would you ever consider doing a Twi fic based on that novel?
AI: Hmm. I really loved The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, though I guess that's technically a short story. I don't think I could write it though... Edward would have to be just a mentioned figure, and that won't do at all haha.


Biggest fandom pet peeve? Most favored aspect of the fandom?
AI: My biggest fandom pet peeve is that every takes everything so seriously. There's far too much drama for a group of ladies (and some men) who have come together over Twilight fanfiction. My favorite thing about the fandom is (besides the fics haha) the warm and fuzzy fandom love that explodes every so often. I've made a lot of really great friends over the last year.


If you had to choose another fandom, outside of True Blood, Twilight, or Harry Potter to write for, which would it be, and what lemon pairings would you want to highlights?
AI: Hmmm. Honestly I can't see myself exploring out of this fandom cause I reeeally don't need the distraction. But maybe... Star Trek? Chris Pine is hot.


If you could have 100 lbs. of anyting, but not money or Rob, what would it be?
AI: Well thank god I can't pick Rob.. I'd have to lob off an arm or a leg and that just would't do. I might go for 100 pounds of chocolate from Hotel Chocolat in Cambridge because that would probably last my entire life and it's sooo delicious.
Emmy: you do know they do mail order??
AI: They do but the shipping to get it here is excruciating. I've checked.
Emmy: Bollocks! I am happy to send you over hotel chocolat care packages for you - just say the word... :)


If you had to write a Twilight/Dr. Seuss cross-over, which would it be and why?
AI: Hmm, first of all weird question Tiffany haha. I suppose The Grinch, staring Edward as the Grinch. He would live up on a mountain, all bah-humbug with his hyper and happy friend Alice. Bella would be Cindy Lou Who, except much older, and instead of singing, Edward's heart would grow three sizes from some hot monkey sex with Bella Lou Who. And another thank you to Tiffany for making me sound really really weird hahaa.


If you could be a Disney character, which one would you choose and why?
AI: Pocahontas. She was one tough chick.

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From ElleCC:

How (un)comfortable were you writing about one million and one different sex positions from YGMCTG?
AI: Oh god. I think at one point I was looking at Cosmo's website, scrolling through sex positions and after about five minutes it fully hit me what I was doing. I'm lucky no one was around to see how red my cheeks got.


What inspired you to write C&C?
AI: again, this one came from a song. I was listening to "The Murder Mystery" by The Velvet Underground. When I started writing the preface, Edward was going to have been diagnosed with a behavioral disorder. It was also from his point of view. But that completely changed within two paragraphs.


Who's the best beta ever?
AI: obviously whatever poor girl betas my crap... I pity her ;)


How do you feel about non-canon pairings?
AI: unless it's jasper/edward, i'm not interested. and on a side note, i'm sticking my tongue out at you right now. scotch forever.

What cliche in a fic drives you so insane you will stop reading?
AI: extended miscommunication... I could wax poetic on this, but instead I'll just leave it at that.
Emmy: Hehhehe! I KNOW exactly what you are talking about there! ;) - we talking about a certain gchat convo the other night? ;)
AI: That's certainly a good example haha.

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From freakyhazeleyes:

If you could change your penname, what would you change it too?
AI: Well given that I've been called "americanxidiot", "american idiot", "americn", "amex", and various other misspellings, I'd probably start with something spelled correctly... yeah, that's a good start.


What is Chandler Bing's job?
AI: Ooh ooh.. something with numbers... a transpondster! But actually he's a data processor until season 9, when he quits to become an junior writer at an ad firm... I'm a little depressed I knew that haha.


Question: what kind of bear is best?
AI: False. The answer is Black Bear.

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From tby789:

Who do you love more, Dawn or Christina?
AI: Dawn, cause she was nice enough to not ask me this question :P


If you saw Rob on the Street what would you say to him? Would you be able to form a coherent thought?
AI: Ideally? I'd say something really relaxed and maybe tell him I like his movies. Honestly? I'd stop walking and just gape until he walked past me.


What do you miss the most about England?
AI: I miss being able to get falafel at pretty much any hour of the night... but I guess when I say it like that, I just miss being in the city. August cannot come soon enough.


Why don't you ever sleep? Are you a vampire?
AI: Ask me the most basic question. What do I eat?


What is your least favourite dirty word?/Favourite dirty word?
AI: Tyke.. no I'm totally kidding. My favorite dirty word has to be "jizz" cause I laugh every single time I read it. My least favorite probably is pussy because for some reason it squicks me out. I had to use it once in a one-shot and I agonized over it for like thirty minutes.


What one thing about the fic world squirks you the most?
AI: Hmm... possibly any time the word "juices" or "ooze" is used. Just... that's squicky (for lack of a better word).


How awesome is Christina really! ;)
AI: Oh Christina, what can I say?
Your smutty smut chapters blow me away
Just like PFac, you're one hot bitch.
(Except when you gimme chaps using "clit twitch")
Bad poetry, just for you dear.


When you see Rob at Comic Con will you squeal, or act coy and demure?
AI: I'll act coy and use my ray bans and awkward laughter to lure him to me.
Emmy: How could he resist? I wouldn't - he won't!

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From AHelm:

Why did you start writing fanfiction?
AI: I'm not exactly sure why I started writing. I was just finishing up my first creative writing class, and an idea popped into my head that I couldn't really ignore. Then, out of abso-fucking-lutely nowhere, YGMCTG was born.


All of your chapter fics are vastly different. What inspired each one?
AI: I said above, but pretty much music and whatever's running through my head. I have a much harder time with prompts than I do with just running with an idea.


What are you feelings on Jasper/Bella?
AI: Stop it. Hahahah.


Who is your least favorite character in the saga, aside from Jake?
AI: Bella. She suuuucks. But only from Eclipse onward.

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Random people:

If Po from Kung Fu Panda was going to read any fic, what fic would it be and why? And why is Po so sexy? ~readthebooknow
AI: Well he would not read KFP fic, cause apparently there are some dirty dirty people who write that. I think he'd read Jasper/Bella cause that's about as unnatural as... well that awful smutfic which shall not be named here. I don't want to scare the towns people. That said Po is sexy cause he's a panda. They're a badass bunch. Just look at this!

AI: (Disclaimer so you don't think I'm batshit: I've never actually seen Kung Fu Panda. Now I probably never can thanks to the epic creepiness that is Kung Fu Panda smutty fanfiction... how I wish I were kidding.)
Emmy: oh my lordy! :0


I wanna know how many fandoms you've written for. ~algonquinrt
AI: Only two. The first one, embarrassingly enough, was the Friends fandom. I shipped Monica/Chandler and wrote a bunch of reeeeally really sappy one-shot song fics. I keep one up on my FFnet page for lolz called "You Are Like A Sunset To Me"... seriously. It's as cheesy/bad as it sounds. After a few months of that I left fanfiction and didn't look back for three years until... fucking Twilight.


Which would you give up - alcohol or internet? ~ hmonster4
AI: As much as it would suck, I'd have to say alcohol. I'm shamelessly addicted to the computer.Bwah ha ha ha me too! Plus if you're sober around drunk people, then you can take the incriminating photos of your drunk friends... to post on the internet.


I'll see your alcohol v. internet and raise you: sex or internet? ~legna989
AI: Sex. The internet is very much a part of my life right now, but sex is... well, sex haha.


What is Rob's best feature? Fingers, hair, eyes, or lips? You can only choose one. And yes, I'm very mean. ~robyntj5998
AI: Ugh you are satanic, Robyn. But god, I'd have to say fingers. I can only imagine what those long musician fingers are capable of *shudders*

What is Rob's best feature? Fingers, hair, eyes, or lips? You can only choose one. And yes, I'm very mean. ~robyntj5998
AI: Lips. No doubt ;
Emmy: ooooh gooood answer!!


Is it wrong for Popeward to masturbate? ~Kitschisme
AI: I don't wanna touch that question. Ba dum cha! Gotta love puns.


Do you read slash? (Kasey)
AI: I don't really look for slash, but I'll sometimes read it when it's recced to me. The only ones I'm reading right now are All I Ever Knew and Over The Top.


What is your favorite fanfic ever? (Kasey)
AI: This changes so much for me... right now I'd probably say Behind Enemy Lines.


Which Character in any story do you wish to bone? (submitted by Heather)
AI: Edward from TTAB because he can make the sound of a dresser banging against the wall sound better than Keith Moon on the drums. Either him or Balticward from Behind Enemy Lines. Mana mila... my god. I may have to teach that phrase to the next git... he doesn't have to know what it means ;)


Do you have any tattoo's?
AI: I have one tattoo on my ankle (original, I know haha). It's an emblem from the cover of the Elliott Smith album XO. I went with my roommate at the end of my freshman year of uni.


Like Your Men with Ink? What about piercings?!
AI: Oh absolutely both, as long as it's not overkill. I don't want someone with ten piercings in their face cause then they just start looking cartoonish.


Do you currently have more than one sexual partner?
AI: Honey, I wish I had one sexual partner right now. I'm a little eager to get back to New York for that reason haha.


Does your RL world know about you & FF? If so their thoughts..
AI: A few people. For a long time absolutely know one knew about it... this was my thing, just for me. But after talking to Kitschisme extensively about this, I decided to tell my two closest friends about it. One thought it was interesting and the other one understood the need to escapism. My family also knows because they didn't buy "I just really like Twilight" as an excuse to go all the way to San Diego for Comic-Con haha.


Any FF characters you would want to have a relationship with? Would that differ from the characters you wish to bone?
AI: Hmm, yeah it would be different. I'd probably have a relationship with "Resident Geek" Edward. He's very very cute :)


If I looked under your bed right now, what would I find?
AI: I think two under-bed containers, one full of shoes and one full of guitar hero game parts.


Describe your writing in one word?
AI: Concise.


Favourite sound associated with sex?

AI: groans


Character you would like to hang out with/have drinks with?
AI: Probably the gang from Tropic of Virgo. Plus then I could push certain characters to talk to each other ;)

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Questions For Emmy

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AI: Have you ever considered writing your own fics?
Emmy: Yes - repeatedly. But it ain't gonna happen. Even though I am badgered often by the pack girls... There are quite a few reasons why I won't. Namely I am a reader.. I don't have enough time as it is to read all I want & have a life. Maybe once my job eases up I can. I also don't think I have the talent to do a story. If I were ever to do it - it would have to be a blinder.


AI: Any Edward from any fic... who would you marry, who would you fuck, who would you kill?
Emmy: hmmmmmmm - I would fuck pretty much all of them - BUT - BalticWard from BEL (again and again and again - every which way possible). I would marry? God - too many of them again.. At the mo? Probs LolaShoes's ALE LoveDayWard - to feel that love & security, that would be incredible (the sides of sexing just a fabbio bonus). I would kill any of them that cheat on her or never come back WTF PEOPLE!! AS IF? AS IF!!!!
AI: Exactly! Edward is much too loyal to Bella to pull shit like that. How dare people try to make him an asshole like that... he can be a dick sure, but never a cheater.


AI: I get a lot of grief from some people (I'm looking at you ElleCC) for my stubbornness when it comes to non-canon. What are your thoughts on other pairings?
Emmy: I HATE NON CANON. I CANNOT COPE. SERIOUSLY Cannot cope!!! I am proudly one of the 3 wussperv/pussypervs in the shack for a reason. I don't care why Jasper or anyone is with Bella - it AIN'T SOMETHING I WANNA READ ABOUT! Or can ever cope with.. The only non-canon fic that I think I coped with & enjoyed (as its brill) is gemmabobella's Let's Get Physical..

I do cope with canon when its man-on-man slash. Yup I AM a perv? But this should not be news to you lot by now!!!
AI: I think I love you more now. Can we go frolic in a canon bubble where Jasper/Edward are the only other couples permitted?
Emmy: yes please Rach! Sounds like heaven!

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AI: You and I have one huge thing in common- we're both are (or were both) in Blighty, unlike most of the fandom. Are there any American slang terms that throw you off when you read them in fic?
Emmy: I always go with favourite! ;) I am totally used to the slang. I always used to read anything as a teen & tons of it was trashy american teenage novels so I think I was exposed from an early age! & As the stories are American set I expect it.. & always tut mentally at brits who don't get thier terms right! lol.. Arse/ass for example.. Things that always get me though... Pants.. I always think of knickers when i read pants... That one won't leave me.. Lol! & there is obv a big difference in taking of knickers and trousers... ;]. Another one that gets me is shirts, and how generally stateside a shirt seems to be any kind of clothing item you were on top.. Whereas over here a shirt is only a button down.. We use top the way you use shirt.. So I always imagine clubbing/sexy outfits as having an office shirt on the top half! lol... (ditto vests which we call waistcoat's) & our vests which you tend to call tanks...!)
The only other thing is broiling? WTF is broiling food? we bake, roast and boil but we never broil! ;) lol Please do tell me WTF Broiling is - Pretty please???

AI: Hahah. Broiling is when you heat the oven up to about 500 degrees F (about 260 degrees C for you... pretty much everyone who isn't American) and then put certain foods... like nachos or pizza bread... in the oven on the top rack for five minutes or less. It's really quick cooking to melt cheese, or brown garlic bread, etc.
Emmy: excellent! Thanks! So what we call grilling? (not grilling on top of the stove/cooker or on a foremans lean mean fat reducing machine grill! )
AI: for us, grilling is when you put food on a barbeque... or pretty much anything that makes food have those grillmarks.

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AI: With so many stories and authors on alert, how the hell do you keep track of them?
Emmy: Open tabs...


AI: You're also one of the best reviewers in the fandom. I know too often I finish a chapter and then forget to review. How do you keep up?
Emmy: Open tabs!! But I do sometimes forget some.. I do normally realise when it comes to review the next chapter & fire it off then...

I sometimes go into fail and forget to review for a few chaps & then get so behind... Like with HOFY by OOE... So when things calm down I am going to reread & review the 10-15 chaps I haven't done... Sometimes I do miss an update or a review, but I HATE that... Makes me feel awful.. Normally by not sleeping prop. Normally by reading whenever I can & reviewing as soon as poss afterwards.. I am still on bloody holiday backlog.. So I have about a hundred tabs open on my comp & I keep ignoring the anti-virus we must reboot command... Not until all those windows are closed can I relax & know I am up to date!!!


AI: Right now, which story alerts do you crave... the ones you will read no matter how busy you are?
Emmy: Recently? The Mirrors.. (gah!). TA by Hopey...; (always yours Rach! :* ); L&F/AG by Gemmabobella..; ANYTHING by Ninapolitan..; The Office..(bb owns my lingerie)..; Secret by Twilighter620; CTT by GinnyW; The Best Man - Bratty Vamp; The Lost Boys by hwimsey; and god I must stop now or I will recite all that are on my alerts..... SO MUCH BLOODY TALENT in this fandom!
AI: Totally agree with you on The Lost Boys... I would say The Office, but part of my privilege as beta is not having to wait hehe. I also know the next big thing that's going to happen... but I'll never tell.
Emmy: LUCKY BITCH!! ;)


AI: What is your favorite genre to read in fic? What genre do you avoid at all costs?
Emmy: Cannot cope with angst.. Sometimes I get sucked in & cannot stop, & practically kill myself trying to get through it & cope with the HF!!

& I will never ever ever never EVER! find rape/paedo/incest fics appealing.. Sometimes they are done very well with no gratuitous scenes designed to titillate the reader... Its purely to allow the character to heal, reflect, move forward... But there are too many fics who have cheap, nasty, graphic, repetitive, numerous rape/incest scenes for thrills. That is sick and never should be allowed in my book.I am a pervy slag, I love the smut & lemons. But never that cheap shite that belittles the horrible experiences of thousands upon thousands of women every year... (read algonquinrt's ff profile for a much more eloquent explanation of why tell all rape fics should be banned..
AI: algonquinrt's ff profile/rant is pretty damn epic... I agree you should all go read it.


AI: Gimme your favorite lemon and your favorite smut fic.
Emmy: Gah - I cannot say. Seriously cannot. Whatever I read seems to do it, & then I find something else and that's it... Fickle much, moi?

Its terrifying how much like a seive my mind is - seriously. I forgot & then someone says oh did you read this & I go ooooh! Oh yes! That was great.. I really wish I had time to reread stuff...
Ninapolitan does actually physically own me. Thanks to her & BSD I found the pack & my spiritual home/the pack girls. I adore her newest The Wingman - I love the UST in it.. I adore UST!!! There is something that has stayed with me about her Edward claiming Bella in the hotel in NYC - JustMeWard.....

In fact possessiveWard full stop owns me. ANY (well written!) fic where he is out in full force I am in rapture... I adore men to be possessive in the bedroom - not so much out of it (which is NOT an easy balance to find!!)...

At the moment LolaShoes's ALE is still firing around my brain.. I cannot believe how much amazing lemonade is contained within, without losing the emotional connections or intensity.. They are just increased in trajectory with the sexy times... Seriously good & hotttttt. Most intimate butt secks scene ever - intense and gorgeous..

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AI: Ignoring USA/UK, which country makes the best looking men? Which ones know what they're doing?
Emmy: Hmmm I have only ever been properly properly with Brits.. (edit: forgot the Aussies & Irish) - Generally? Brit men have my heart. But there is something about Americans that can melt my knickers right off.....

Oh right I am supposed to be talking about OTHER countries! whoopsies..
Well I love the Irish (not UK :D). I do not generally dig latino men.. I love the charm and sparkle of the Italians and the romance of the french....

But I love the honesty & directness of the Aussies, plus they get me waxing lyrical about cricket - even if we fight about the ashes.... :)

& they are normally incredibly fit!!! Plus they appreciate travelling outside of their existence, have great drinking stamina & are good cooks! Perfect! :)


AI: Stealing a question from you, what is your most embarrassing sexual experience?
Emmy: Hmmmmmm. Dammit! I shouldn't have asked you! lol... :)

Ok. One of them is when I was sharing a flat with my best friend, I bought a bloke back to our flat & we broke the kitchen table... It wasn't a very stable one, but it was a nice one from Habitat - & she went spare! The funny thing is he ended up underneath all the wreckage and got injured by the metal legs... and he was a total wuss about it. & he went on and on and on about it. TOLD ALL HIS FRIENDS, who then all thought I was a right goer, & proceeded to try their luck with me - and he didn't even get me off! So he was like Mr Stud to all his mates (complete with war wounds) & I became some easy, energetic goer who was free game! Not fun & I had to nip that in the bud pronto!


AI: If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Emmy: I seriously don't think I could.... I am too fickle - my moods change with the weather - and as you know here in Blighty the weather is very changeable!!

One minute its the Prodigy, the next its The White Lies, or Biffy Clyro, or Laura Marling, or Maximo Park or Portishead or Massive Attack or ......

& the joy of the ipod means we never have to worry about that now! :)


AI: What was the last actual novel you read? Did it feel weird reading from pages instead of a computer?
Emmy: Hmmmm my last actual novel? I actually had a craving to reread Howard's End by E M Forster when I was away. I adore that novel.. Actually - I love physical books. I am a tactile touchy feel person.. If I could afford the paper, (& could be arsed) I would print off all my fave stories... :)


Do you have any tattoo's?
Emmy: Nope!


Like Your Men with Ink?
Emmy: I really never used to. Then I started to change my stance and then an ex got one for me with a quote from my fave book. It was beautiful and cemented me appreciating them. I don't like hundreds & I hate face ones.


Do you currently have more than one sexual partner?
Emmy: Nope.


If I looked under your bed right now, what would I find?
Emmy: I have drawers built into my bed under the bed.. I keep my vast array of lingerie in it...


Describe your writing in one word?
Emmy: Missing! ;)


Favourite sound associated with sex?
Emmy: Groans & sounds of lips on skin.

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Does your RL world know about you & FF? If so their thoughts..
Emmy: Nope. The git knows I have fantastically pervy & sexy & hot friends stateside who I have a smutty blog with, but thats it.

Oh a couple of my pals know I have a severe ff habit. But they all think me 'little miss innocent butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' - they do not know my wanton ways...


Any FF characters you would want to have a relationship with? Would that differ from the characters you wish to bone?
Emmy: hmmmm - I'm gonna be beyond lame & say Edward... Sad I know... But to me you can't have a relationship without killer sex..
So hot bitch is my reserve! ;)


Character you would like to hang out with/have drinks with?
Emmy: Esme - I would ask her all about shagging Hot Bitch for eternity...
& then (separately) Hot Bitch himself as I know a couple of ladies that want to be set up with him.... ;) threesome/foursome anyone?

Jasper - I bet he's full of interesting shite.

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Questions from others for Emmy

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When is the Shetland going to take you over to the US to visit the PPSS? ~Nina
Emmy: God only knows! Thing is if he takes me over - I'll have less time to see & erm play with my girls. I think girls have to make what they want to happen themselves... no relying on blokes... Maybe he'll convince me otherwise...


If you had to pick one American to bone for all of eternity who would it be? ~Nina
Emmy: Can I say Nina? Or my 2 southern-belles? Lu & Aren,or any of the gorgeous pack girls?? No? Ermm then Matthew McConaughey in A Time To Kill - all sweaty & southern.. Yes please. (hmm weird - I don't go for blondes normally) You do know I will think of a shed load of hotties tom I wish I had said instead!!!

But look at Matthew's arse below! Biteable!! :D


Same thing for an Englishman, ~Nina
Emmy: Hmmmmm... I am a sucker for a London accent - whether posh or rough. (don't tell the Git who is Scottish.. - don't get me wrong I LOVE his voice - but gen London accents? Cream-mmmY!) So who... I have a thing for sportsmen rather than models - they seem more real to me, if that makes sense.. Their training has a purpose not vanity! (unless your name is Ronaldo....blech) ... & I love stamina...

Cricket - the game of gentleman is my thing... but I adore the rugger bugger & footballers too... Hmmmmm... Who to chose.. Just one? Sol Campbell ?

Longest legs of a footballer they excite me somehow... & THE most biteable arse!!!
& I gotta mention the bobby dazzler (RobWard) - he does own me of late... as does Paul Bettany..

or very posh boy ~ Rupert Penry-Jones (Right there-->)

jeez what's with me & all these blonde blokes! Cripes Emmy get a grip!)


Then American chick, English chick? ~Nina
Emmy: Oh see my answer above... If celeb... then god always loved some Drew Barrymore... But the pack girls got me back into Monica Belluci.. Is she officially American? She'll do & is stunningly beautiful & exotic.. ... British? I love Aleesha Dixon.. She is crazy funny, really lively & a very real pretty girl who can really dance... I hate skeletal frames or fake-ness... (I hate false nails and boobs in porno's - why do that? Schemey.) You gotta be real and fun and warm for me...

(Alesha Dixon for you Yanks - she was in NERD's She Likes To Move Video - as the girl who liked to move! lol)



Explain to the readers why your Shetland calls you Rapunzel and you have to do it or I won't love your English pudding anymore. Ninapolitan
Emmy: Heheh my scottish git (known forever more by the pack as my Scottish Shetland until he provides evidence to them for his actual stallion status), has a thing for my long thick curly hair, its what attracted him to me & one of the first things he said to me was about it. He loves my hair, he thinks it is wild & it turns him on.... & He likes to mess it up bad like a hay stack... :) that makes him happy. But when his hands are in my hair (for whatever reason ;] ) he oft calls me Rapunzel.. He knows I love fairy stories - he bought me a beautiful hardback collection of them.

One time it just ..erm.. came naturally to him when we were very intimate ... & I like it. It gets us both very hot & bothered...

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Do you read slash? What is your favorite fanfic ever? ~Kasey/Love=EDWARD
Emmy: I LOVE slash (but really just the bloke on bloke) - ever since the scene in the Chammomile Lawn with the Tara whatsername bird being fucked senseless by twin's,
The pic from the brit tv drama that started my love affair with slash off....

& the Brit (the first) version of Queer as Folk came out I have loved male slash stuff. ... It took me a while to realise there was a ff domain for it... There is lots of crap slash out there... But when the stuff is good - its gooooooood. My top 3? Got to be AIEK by darling Hopey, The TTH by smashing Kathy & OTT by the lovely Katie.

I seriously could not say the best fic ever - it depends on what's in my box & what mood I am in.....

Will we ever get a pic of the Scottish Shetland's...? ~Kasey/Love=EDWARD
Emmy: He's a shy bastard.. but I am working on it! Promise.. & If I do you know you'll be one of the first to see him/it...

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What makes a good fic to you? How many stories do you have on alert? ~TBY789
Emmy: A good fic is one where I am transported into the story & leave my own existence. I really need a visual story... One I can clearly see in my mind's eye. If I can't see it I will persevere and see if I can be constructive. If I can't be constructive I stop. Full stop.
Stories? Erm on last count? 439 authors I am following on ff alone.. Thankfully not all of them update at once... :)

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Why so awesome at reviewing? ~ freakyhazeleyes
Emmy: Heheheh - I don't think I am. I am just very aware that someone has put all they can into an update, often putting real life on hold & deserve to know the truth about a chapter & how its affected me. Normally my reviews are me prattling on about how it makes me feel & then afterwards I think, god they are probs like - get a grip bitch I wrote it for myself! LOL

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That's it for this interview. Check back next Sunday for the Latin Lover Gustariana and the delicious deviant devil herself mskathy.