The Perv Pack's Smut Shack: Turn Me On: If Only by Sadtomato

We want to know what turns you on, ladies! Which fics are rocking your world and are must reads for us Pervs? We want you to tell us what you like, what turns you on about this fic. Let’s talk about it over a glass of wine and get everyone reading it.

On this installment of Turn Me On SingleStrand has joined the pervs to sing the praises of a new Jake/Edward slash fic called...

Title: If Only
Author: Sadtomato
Status: WIP
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 24,041
Summary: Edward likes girls. Jake likes boys. It's never been a problem for them as best friends and roommates. What happens when the lines start to blur? Can your love for your best friend become something more? SLASH. M Exhibitionism, lemons, grownup feelings.

Guest Recc’er SingleStrand - When Sadtomato told me she was writing some Edward/Jake slash, I hesitated. I mean, I love her. She’s fast becoming my ficwife. But JAKE? I wasn’t so sure. But, since I love her and I love Between Pleasure and Pain and we were collab-ing on something at the time, I figured I should give it a shot. I’m so glad I did. I read Chapter One and I was like, okay this is good shit. And then I read Chapter Two and I was like, wait, it gets better? Each and every chapter has been like that for me.

If Only will rank in my top three slash fics ever for several reasons. First of all, Sadtomato writes Jacob POV so real it almost hurts. Being gay is just who he is. It’s not something he needs to talk about, compensate for, apologize for, or force on me. He just is. I love that she has created a character that is so open about his sexuality that we have no reason or need to question him. It’s rare to find that kind of genuine honesty in a fic character, in my opinion.

Secondly, she has created an Edward that many of

us have likely been at one point. I’m not saying we’ve all fucked our roommate. I’m saying we’ve fallen in that place on the Kinsey scale that forced us into a sense of awareness about our sexuality in one situation or another. It might be as simple as a female being turned on by a female actress or as complex as a man finding another man sucking his dick, when he’s only ever had a girl there. Sadtomato reminds us that we must stop trying to put ourselves and others into neat little labeled boxes. For me, she nailed it with Jake saying in chapter 6 that every relationship is different. Not every gay relationship, not every straight relationship, EVERY relationship. It breaks my heart that Edward thought there had to be a ‘guy’ and a ‘girl’ in their gay relationship. Society has created that image in our heads, just as they have created the idea that the man should be the breadwinner and the woman should be the housewife in straight relationships.

Finally, If Only has hot, hot smut. Of COURSE it does, right? This is Sadtomato. She wrote the Between Pleasure and Pain scene I have bookmarked for a quick fix, so I knew If Only would have something good for me. And boy does it ever. There’s some voyeurism right off the bat in Chapter 1, then a little more exhibitionism/voyeurism soon after that. But the best stuff is several chapters later, when Edward and Jake slowly try all the things that Edward has never done before. UNF is all I can say.

"I think it's your turn," I whispered, reaching down to palm his erection. "After that performance, baby, I'll do anything you want. You want me to suck your cock?" I asked, squeezing him gently as I kissed at his neck.

"I want..." he started, and then paused. Swallowed. Ducked his head into my shoulder. "I want you to do that to me," he whispered.

"Suck you off?" I asked, surprised at his sudden shyness. All of his aggression and confidence from before was gone.

"Yeah," he said. "And uh, the other thing, too..."

Oh.

Oh!

Oh is right Jake. Go get ya some, babe. This Edward is ready and willing. Thanks, Sadtomato, for writing a slash fic that is refreshingly real and complex and delicious all at the same time.

Chele - I’m a sucker for some Jake/Edward slash, but finding a well-written story with these two in the lead is not an easy task. This, however? Is beyond wonderful.
First, Sadtomato pulls me in with what is, quite possibly, the hottest exhibitionist wank I’ve ever read. From that moment I am owned completely, and hanging on every word.

This story is, above all, about a loving friendship. The underlying foundation of the way they enjoy each other’s company remains a constant

through the development of the sexual complications between Edward and Jake. In the angstiest moments, (because, let’s face it, when you fall in love with your “straight” best friend, there’s gonna be some angst) Jake misses the little things like their nights in front of the TV, and dinners hanging out together. It’s this simple domesticity that really makes me believe that there is a possible future for them.

Edward’s innocence and Jake’s vulnerability are a heady combination. Their erotic interactions are electric with emotion, and after having read these moments I am left haunted by the intensity of love between them. I want so much for things to work out for these boys, but because Sadtomato has written this with so much realism, I know that the chances of an uncomplicated HEA are small. Regardless, she has proven that she will treat them right, and be true to the story, and I, for one, can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Jen - Oh my gosh, this story. I love Edward and Jake AU slash, so I was excited to hear that Sadtomato was going to be posting some Ed/Jake. I think If Only is the first AH Ed/Jake I’ve read, and it easily is one of my favorite fics.

This is a tight little fic, it’s going to be ten chapters plus an epilogue, and the chapters are not very long. Don’t let the length of this fic deceive you- there aren’t any wasted words, and every bit of each chapter is imparting important information about the characters and the plot. Yes, this hotter than hell fic has plot.

Perhaps I’m biased toward Jake because he’s the

narrator. I don’t know. I do know that if you don’t come away from the first few chapters feeling all mama-bear on Jake’s behalf, then I’m pretty sure you’re not reading the same fic as I am. Like vamp Edward, this human Edward is very dangerous to Jake, because he has the power to break him. They are best friends and roommates; what Edward doesn’t know is that Jake is in love with him. Edward engages in some sexual activities knowing full well that Jake can see what he’s doing. I’m not a violent person, really, but damn did I ever want to beat the crap out of Edward for teasing Jake like that.

Sadtomato salvaged my negative feelings about Edward through his actions, which eventually show that he’s not teasing Jake, he is interested in him sexually. Edward goes far out of his comfort zone often in the fledgling relationship: telling people about their relationship, giving his first blow-job, asking Jake to play with his ass. Jake is over the moon, yet still wary, because he doesn’t know if this is perhaps just an experiment for Edward. He doesn’t want Edward to say ‘I’m not gay, I’m only gay for you.’ He wants Edward to be all-in, just as he is.

Jake watching Edward jerking off is just unbelievably hot. Knowing how Jake feels about Edward turns the temperature up even more. When Jake and Edward are finally intimate together *cue Hallelujah chorus*, it’s beautiful to see Edward’s vulnerability, and Jake’s pure love for his friend.

Right now we’re at a point in the story where Edward is confronted with some hard reality about loving a man in current day America. We don’t know what’s going on in his mind; we only see what Jake sees. The next chapter will no doubt be pivotal, and whatever Edward decides about his love life, he holds Jake’s heart in his hands.

I’m convinced Sadtomato is going to kill me. First she was killing me with the angst. Then she was killing me with the lemons--voyeurism, grinding and blow-jobs, oh my! I fear that she’s going to be killing me with the angst again, but I’m going to hold out hope that it will end on a citrusy high note. Even if your slash pairing of choice is Edward/Jasper, please, give this wonderful story a try. You won’t be disappointed.

Jess - When the Pervs started talking about this, I wasn’t really sold on it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I did slash... like, I dig it a lot. But Jake... and Edward... together... what?!

What is abso-freakin-lutely right! There are no words to describe how hot this little jewel of a story is. Edward and Jake are roommates and friends. Edward is perfectly content to sleep around with pretty much any chick he can find at the bar. Jake is gay and has a a big crush on Edward. The story starts when Jake comes home late from the bar to find Edward jerking off.

He curses a little under his breath and shifts on the bed, switching hands. My eyes are locked on the movement under his sheet, and I want more than anything for that sheet to be gone. I let my eyes flicker up to his abs, his chest, his tight, pale nipples. I want to lick them, bite them. I want to bite his collarbones, nip at his throat, suck hard until his skin is bruised. Oh, and his fucking Adam's apple... I want to lick that too, and nuzzle it with my nose, and scrape my teeth over it.

When I finally let myself look back up at his face, my body jerks back from the doorway in shock.

His eyes are open, and staring right into mine.

He grins, and I'm about to apologize, but I notice that the movement under the sheet hasn't stopped.

He's still doing it. He's still jerking off, right in front of me, and he knows that I'm watching.

This is when things start to change, albeit slowly. Told exclusively from Jake’s POV, you can feel the ache and longing he feels for Edward and the pain of watching him bring “skank” after “skank” home. It’s not until some time later that a series of events occur (and you’ll just have to read it to find out what I’m talking about), that Edward and Jake are forced to talk through stuff.

"So is it... God, Edward, I have so many questions. Do you think that... maybe you're bi?" I ask him, knowing that it's less scary than asking him outright if he's gay.

"I don't think so," he says, shaking his head again. "I mean, I don't feel like I'm bi. I'm not attracted to men, Jake. Just... you."

"Just me?" I ask, my voice squeaking a little in surprise.

"Yeah," he says. "I haven't always felt this way, it's just that lately... I don't know. Lately, I've been looking at you differently, noticing things. The way you look, your smile, you know? And your body..."

It's my turn to blush.

Now, if that doesn’t leave you feeling all sorts of gushy, then I don’t know what will.

Watching these two find their way

through the murky waters of sexual identity, relationships that neither thought they’d ever have, and sexual exploration has been both heartwarming and heartbreaking. There’s a great scene where Edward invites Jake to hang out with his “straight” friends, and he comes out to them about being with Jake... the confusion of labels and how to identify himself is so apparent and not fully dealt with, but you know it’s going to be an issue later. It’s just so, so real.

Sadtomato has done an extraordinary job making this more than a smutty slash fic. It’s a beautiful articulation of how two friends grow to love each other and deal with everything that comes with it.

The most recent chapter left me all sorts of confused as Edward opens himself up to Jake fully and then is forced to deal with the often vicious word of prejudice. You can feel the confusion and anger rolling off him as Jake pulls him away from the situation and back to the car. Oh, my heart is aching for these two as they stumble through all this together. I cannot wait for the next update.

Liz - I started this thinking it was just gonna be a smutty little something-something starring Jake/Edward (which I don’t come across very often), and discovered a real gem. It’s hard to get me fired up for Jake slash for some reason but, from the very beginning, Sadtomato gave Jake a warm and sweet quality that put me squarely in his corner. He genuinely is a good guy, harboring an unrequited crush on his straight best friend (and yay for us - roommate!), Edward. While Edward is somewhat of a manwhore, he’s very comfortable having a gay best friend. There wouldn’t be a story here if there weren’t strong hints that Edward might just have a little more than platonic feelings for his BFF.

One hot wank, a little voyeur sex, a drunken binge, a cold bed and a whole lot of UST later finds Edward in Jake’s bed.

“He's moving against me, holding me tight, humping me. It's a dream come true, except for the fact that he's fucking asleep. I start to feel guilty. I shouldn't let him do this-he wouldn't want this if he was awake, if he knew he was in bed with me for real. I'm torn, because I love the way he's holding me, touching me, but I know-in my stupid fucking heart-that it's not real.

"Edward," I say, my voice faltering just a little. "Edward, man, wake up." I hold absolutely still, waiting for the jolt as he pulls away.

He stops moving, turns his head a little so I can feel his breath hot against my ear.
"I'm not sleeping," he whispers...

Edward finally allows himself to act

on what we’ve all seen brewing, and your heart is in your throat as you read about the morning after their intense little grinding session, praying that Edward doesn’t break Jake’s heart.

I can’t help but be reminded of how Raw and Rosy started out as just a smutty little bit of slashy spanking fun, but it turned into so much more. As Sadtomato continues to dive into the dynamic between Jake and Edward, and as we watch Edward begin to struggle with how he defines himself sexually, you realize this fic is way more than a damn hot bit of UNF. I can’t wait for more.

Interested in being a Turn Me On guest reviewer for the Perv Pack's Smut Shack? Click the banner below, fill out the form, and get your answer in the next installment of TURN ME ON.