Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy

Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is an advice column that addresses reader’s most burning questions on sexual health/relationships. STDs, birth control, is it real or is it fic, sexual positions--you name it. There are no stupid questions, only ones that are too embarrassing to ask someone you know. If Naughty Nurse Kimpy doesn’t know the answer, she’ll find an expert who does!

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DISCLAIMER:
The information and advice from Ask Naughty Nurse Kimpy is for entertainment/educational purposes only and is not intended to be used as expert medical advice. It is not meant to replace the advice of your physician. All medical advice and information should be considered to be incomplete without a physical exam, which is not possible without a visit to your doctor.

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We got some great feedback/comments from last week's post that I would like to share with everyone. Remember, Naughty Nurse Kimpy is always interested in sharing the wealth (of knowledge, that is).

Also, for some good Lily/james smutty fics, try the nc17 section of Unknowable Room which was built up around the pairing. The past few years it's dropped off, but there are some great fics on there, such as anything by sarinalini (or something like that) or beedaily. By searching around the site, you'll find some good sources as well.

I just wanted to say that the last person really isn't alone in being 'not entirely straight', liking lesbian porn and being attracted to other women. I myself know that I am like that, I might even bisexual, but I don't like to give it a name. I don't think it's necessary to label yourself, just enjoy life and accept the way you are :)

RE: Post-coital glow and guys being able to tell when their girl has an orgasm.
-During my first pregnancy, I took up kegel exercises. Now, having had two kids (which does some serious damage to your girly bits) I've personally noticed a difference in overall 'tightness' and the hubs has mentioned that when I cum, he can feel the muscles clamp down harder. I've also noticed a difference in the power of my orgasm, depending on how 'worked up' I am. It can be a small short burst, or long hard and drawn out. I definitely subscribe to the answer that everyone is different, so no one should feel weird if their partner can't feel their orgasm. If your guy is paying enough attention, I think most women have a 'tell' (I know that I personally tend to get much more *ahem* verbal, when I am close.)

~Just gotta add that I love love love this little 'advice column'. There are so many women who are too embarassed to speak up and ask the tough questions, and having this extra source seems to be helping people get some much needed answers! :)

Can you give tips about nipple piercings? I've been wanting one for quite a while, but I'm nervous about the pain, infection, sensitivity, etc. Do you know anyone with experience regarding this particular piercing area?

This was actually covered in depth in an earlier ANNK post. You can find all the details here: Piercings

Hi Naughty Nurse Kimpy! First of all I'd like to say thanks for all the advice you've given so far, it's been very interesting and helpful.
Anyway, a while ago you posted about 'hair down there', well I have a bit of a lady mustache going on - just at the sides of my upper lip - which I want to get rid of. Would it get worse if I pluck it? Everyone gives different advice, but I don't fancy waxing there or doing something to lighten the hairs, so what do you think to do?
Thanks :)

How common is it for a woman to be waxed or shaven down there? Do guys really care about that?

I refer both of you to an earlier ANNK post was devoted specifically to bare kitties. You'll find your answer in Antiaol's The Hair Down There post. While there is nothing inherently wrong with plucking pubic hair, it hurts like a mofo, and can lead to ingrown hairs, which also hurt like a mofo (yes, "hurts like a mofo" is a commonly used medical term. I swear. *wink*). My advice is to buy yourself a high quality trimmer, like the BodyGroomer, and simply trim that mustache until it is close to the skin surface. It's a pretty easy and painless way to go about prettying your lady bits.

I just have a comment on the hairs on the inside of the labia majora. I recently used a razor, which was fine. However 4 days later my husband and I had to stop durring intercourse due to his pain from my regrowth. It never occurred to me that he would feel it or that it would irritate is penis. I guess its a similar effect his facial hair has on my skin. So, you will have to maintain and be aware of your hair growth cycles.

Thanks for sharing your experience with my readers. All the medical advice in the world sometimes pales in comparison to real life users, KWIM?

Just curious... what exactly does the clean up entail after going bareback? I've never gone without a condom & I've been on the pill for years, but my fiance & I are interested in losing the rubber, kwim?

Great question! I'm not going to lie, going bareback can be an exquisite sensation, despite the fact that it is, most definitely, a messier situation than using condoms. As per usual, Naughty Nurse Kimpy is going to emphasize that only individuals who are in a monogamous relationship, who have both been tested for STDs, and who know their partner's status should even consider going bareback. *PSA rant over*

So, you've gone bareback, had fantastic Os, and you're done with your post-coital cuddles. Now what? The answer to that question depends upon how much of an obsessive neat freak you are. Now, Naughty Nurse Kimpy isn't about to point fingers--she willingly admits to being as neat a freak as they come. Here are a few ideas:

1. Put a towel underneath you during sex, then use it to wipe up afterwards.
Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factor: -1

2. Just put on your underwear and allow it to soak up the output.
Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factor: 0

3. Wet a washcloth and leave it at the bedside to clean up any spills.
Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factor: 2

4. Use a pre-moistened, flushable wipe, such as Cottonelle Moist Wipes. Wipe up the mess, toss into the toilet, and flush away the evidence. What's even nicer about this option is that you can keep a tub of wipes by the bed for easy access whenever the mood strikes you.
Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factor: 8

5. Either have sex in the shower, or run to the shower to clean up afterwards, preferably accompanied by your partner.
Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factor: 1,000

Please note that Sexy Hot Clean Freak Factors have been carefully calculated using a large array of data, and are thus irrefutable. ;)

Naughty Nurse Kimpy always encourages women to pee both before and after having sex to avoid/minimize the risk of Urinary Tract Infections. This can also help get rid of any remaining DNA evidence, if you know what I mean.

Five months ago I had an IUD inserted. While checking it recently I could not feel the string and went to my gynecologist; sure enough, it was no longer in place. The doctor removed it and put in a new one. I was too embarrassed to ask my doctor these questions, so I hope you will answer them. Can rough/vigorous sex cause the IUD to come out? Can using toys? Are there certain positions or activities I should avoid while I have an IUD (for example, fingering)? Thank you.

I'm sorry that you had issues with your IUD, but it happens. While it is embarrassing to ask your gynecologist specific questions about rough sex, it's still very important to know these things, so thank you for trusting me to get you an answer.

1. I commend you for checking regularly to ensure that your IUD was in place. While they don't slip out of place frequently--1-7 per every 100 women--they are most likely to do so in the first few months you have one.

2. Fingering and/or use of sexual toys shouldn't cause problems with IUD placement.

3. Rough/vigorous sex shouldn't knock the IUD out of place.

4. You should still be able to have sex in any position.

5. Neither you nor your partner should be able to feel the IUD during sex. If you can, stop what you're doing, check placement, and proceed accordingly.

If you do have extra rough sex, or use a different position than usual, you should check the IUD placement afterwards by feeling inside for the strings by your cervix. If you cannot feel them, or they happen to be protruding from your cervix, see your healthcare provider immediately to determine if it is still in place. If you make a habit of checking it after sex, it will reassure you that everything is still all systems go.

The IUD can be a great birth control method, but please remember that it doesn't provide any protection against STDs. If you aren't monogamous, or if your partner has an STD, you still need to use a condom to minimize your risks.

I've read that masturbation is very normal and common among women, but why do they seem to NEVER talk about it? Guys seem fine with talking about it all the time, they just seem to have no shame. And the women in fic seem shameless about it as well. So why do real women seem so appalled by it? I sometimes feel so ashamed and embarrassed doing it and with how much I do it because people in RL just want to inch around it and seem to look down on the women that do do it. Also, how often is too often to masturbate? I usually do it about once a day, give or take, but sometimes I feel like that's sooo much.

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED THIS QUESTION! The last time I checked, it is 2011. We're in the 21st century now. It's okay to admit that most of us diddle the skittle. It's as if a good old wank for men is a given, but women don't have sex, aren't interested in sex, and certainly never take matters into their own hands. That idea is so outdated and sexist that it borders on ridiculous.


A recent study, the Gossard Big M Survey, found that 92% of women ages 18-30 masturbate. Two-thirds of them masturbate three times a week.

You read that correctly, ladies, so let's all 'fess up right now. Women masturbate. Guys masturbate. It's normal, and it's completely acceptable. Our instincts drive us to have sex and reproduce--that's what hormones are for. There's absolutely nothing shameful about touching yourself or enjoying sex. It's up to us to all work together to lessen the stigma that seems to exist about women masturbating.

As for your question about how much is too much? That's for you to answer for yourself--everyone's drive is different. If you masturbate once a day, then that's normal for you. If you want to do it more frequently than that, go for it. Please don't masturbate less than you really want to because you have this idea that it's wrong to want it that badly. No one else is around to judge you, and it is no one's business anyhow. Again, it's 2011. Own your sexual drive and create the standards of what normal is for you.

Now, everyone repeat after me: "It's perfectly normal to diddle the skittle. It's perfectly normal to diddle the skittle..." Repeat as often as necessary until the message sinks in. TYVM.

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